About two years after Chrysalis's failed attempt at taking over Canterlot, Chrysalis gets captured by the Royal Guard for attempting to attack Equestria once again. She gets sentenced to life in solitary confinement in the lowest depths of the Canterlot Dungeon. After a year of wishing for revenge, Chrysalis grows tired and begins to question her motives.
She comes to the realization that all she needed was to earn everyone's respect and love, rather than force it. However, she learned her lesson too late, and must endure the last moments of her seemingly futile existence.. with only a small glimmer of hope left to keep her alive.. and a chance to make a friend.
*Note: Only canon through seasons 1-before season 6 finale.
*Warning, characters contemplating suicide.
"Have"
It honestly feels incongruous to me how, even in the show, the ponies punish evildoers in surprisingly-cruel ways. Nightmare Moon and Discord could, at least, be argued to not have been aware during their imprisonment, but I actually feel kinda bad for Tirek. Solitary confinement is literally torture.
Fluttershy, stop being mean at best bugprincess.
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As for Nightmare Moon, it's ambiguous if she was aware while imprisoned, but Discord confirmed in Keep Calm and Flutter On (and implied in his first appearance) that he was conscious while imprisoned (he said that he heard them talking about reforming him).
EDIT:
Season 2 Episode 1:
Season 3 Episode 10:
7546890
Thanks. Corrected.
But yeah I agree. The punishments are so inconsistent. Discord gets 1000 years in stone, gets turned into stone again for the same reasons, but only for a short time. Starlight gets off scott free even after nearly wiping out all of Equestria... I don't even.
7546963 Well, it is Discord. Or he could be lying.
Hmm... very, very interesting story so far. Kind of a nice 'Retribution' story for Chrysalis.
As for Grammar wise only thing I could see was:
I'm assuming you meant to say pony
Maybe there's more.... but I was too enthralled in the story to notice.
Keep up the great work
~SRX
7549781
Thank you ^^. I use 'everyone' and 'everypony' interchangeably sometimes. I generally use everyone to refer to more than just ponies, such as donkeys, or dragons. I changed 'people' to 'innocents'.
7549794
Hmm... okay I see your point for 'Everyone'
Though as for your 'People', well 'Ponies' is alright though I can see that your trying to emphasis her regret. Hmm... maybe adding an adjective like
Or just change it what you said. Really the only problem is that it can't stay 'People'
~SRX
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7549823
Actually:
The Cutie Mark Chronicles (copied directly from the transcript on the wiki):
A Canterlot Wedding, Part 1
Magical Mystery Cure:
So it seems that "people" is not incorrect as per canon, and there's no reason "everyone" would be either (which you both seem to agree on). Finally, Twilight has said "anybody" in canon.
A Canterlot Wedding, Part One:
So "person" is also correct.
EDITED TO ADD:
Over a Barrel:
Personally, I dislike it when people ponify words excessively, like when characters say "buck" instead of "fuck".
Hey, perseverance is a virtue! "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again," right?
Just to throw a little fuel on the pony/people argument I offer this.
In many of Andre Norton's' works she has many non-human characters.
species name Planet Type
Salariki Sargol Feline
Zacathan Zacan Reptilian
Trystian ? Avian
Along with, of course Human Earth Primate
All of these along with others were referred to as people.
It seems to me that in at least in her opinion the terms people/person had more to do with
the sentient/sapient argument than the type of being.
Chrysalis, you should've tried to destroy the world: then you'd get an apprenticeship out of it!
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Literally this
Chrysalis did nothing wrong!
Well, it's great that Fluttershy's forgiven you, Chrysalis.
Shame on you, Cadence and Shining Armour!
I think that Chryssie deserves a second chance too.
Go Chrysalis! Lead the charge and save the hive and ponies!!
Also this is a very good fic for your first one. Not, bad I must say. It's building up rather quick might be my one gripe but I can't complain otherwise! Great work.
I'll back up the guy above me (if you're going by oldest to newest), the pacing is rather quick, but this is not too bad at all for a first fic.
Also, for future reference, spell "Apple Jack" as "Applejack".
Yeah you go Chrissy!
7554369 Thank you ^^. Edited.
7554309 Thanks! Yeah.. I was hoping for this story to go about 8 chapters. I didn't want to add too much filler and have it get boring too quick.
Oh god....Poor chryssie. Great job on getting this featured tho!
7555505 Woah woah! This was featured? Since when?? (I must have been asleep when it happened
)
And thats it? With that one sentence ending, its like asking for trouble but no its just end uhh I'm dissapointed
Wonderful story, wonderful ending.
This is a good piece of writing.
There's just one question that I have: is there going to be a sequel?
Or not? Just wondering ...
7558589
I'm thinking of adding an epilogue..
7560007 You should add an epilogue. It will help tie up any loose ends.
IT WAS AMAZING! I DEMAND A SEQUEL
I was looking forward to Chryssies meeting with Cadenza and Co. tho.
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.
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7558402
I added the epilogue
Good ending.
7562819 thank you ^^.
Nice ending. I was wondering if Shining and Cadence would give up their anger to Chrysalis honestly I was hoping there would be more of a conflict, cause I love drama for some weird reason. I guess a lot of people don't like that, but that's just me. Still a nice simple ending. I liked it.
I'm glad you added the epilogue.
I liked it. It was very good for a first fic. However, I feel the battle scene should have been a bit longer; at least two or three chapters. I understand not wanting to get too bogged down but a bit more action would have been a good addition.There should be a bit more build up to the Gala. As a personal nit-pic, person is usually pony and there is no Christmas in Equestria; they would have a Hearths Warming tree.
7614378 Thank you for your input
!
Awesome story. It was fun to read :)
7614378 That would be too long. One chapter is fine. Too long and it gets repetitive and dull.
Amazing!!!
7639142 Still, a good story.
7639171
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
*snugs the poor bug waifu* Nuuuuuuu, keep strong.
Damn, if only Chryssie endangered the entire world and caused uncountable deaths and destruction in parallel realities, and all because one friend moved away at some point, then she'd get an apprenticeship from that and no punishment whatsoever.
Poor Chryssie, the ponies' brainwashing got to her... But at least things are looking up a bit.
Bed get!
I like his this is developing. It may be a bit fast, but Chryssie's bouncing off the bottom and sissy forming relationships, step, a relationship.
Well, maybe they'll change their mind eventually.
Hehe, nice to see Chryssie so cheerful.
Hmm, this chapter shows the problem with pacing, the fight could've used me descriptions instead of dry text, like, 'the beam was deflected by the spirit in a shower of sparks, blowing a hole in the castle wall, sending debris flying outside and raining dien on the ponies and changelings fighting below'.
Still, pretty good for a first fic. I've seen much worse from authors who wrote several fics. You're keeping the writing mostly error free, that's a huge plus.
Good story and idea
But the pacing is just too quick. This story should have been longer. Its a case of too much story not enough writting lol
But I still enjoyed it
Nice, Chryssie really pulled through. Also, yeah, a changeling surrounded by friends could be a powerful weapon.
I like it. The writing is decent, though I'd suggest working on longer and more descriptive sentences. But it's pretty nice in general.
Very nice ending. Chryssie really worked hard for her redemption.
For a first fic, this was really good, I've seen much worse fics from other authors that are their nth fic. You should work on richer descriptions and breaking up the series of 'he did she did' sentences. But I still liked it a lot, how to see more.
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Thank you, I'm glad you liked it ^^. I'm afraid there isn't any more, but I did make a drawing and submitted it to derpibooru. https://derpibooru.org/1263155?scope=scped4f25d40c04d54f62aaec905fc19e4b7ad6f4dc7
7669436 Pretty nice drawing, congrats.
7674819
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it ^^.
Added a new chapter, "Games Ponies Play". Hope you enjoy it ^^.
That was one awkward party. But it ended up nicely. Though Applejack can really hold a grudge.