• Member Since 16th Nov, 2019
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

Seahorn


A would-be college student and brony who loves writing fiction.

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Princess Celestia adopts Cater Pillar, a filly who just lost her parents. As she grows she becomes the first pony ever to ascend, to become a princess, equal to her teacher in poiltical power, responsibility, and benevolence. There is only one problem... she is an earth pony, which means she cannot become an Alicorn. This upsets the ruling unicorn nobles of Canterlot, so they propose a test, a test to verify whether or not she can do everything a princess needs to without magic. A test that she fails and runs away from.


Years later, she returns as Queen Chrysalis, leader of the changeling hive, and is victorious against those who had once looked down apon her. Yet Equestria as she know is no more. Will she rule over this land as a tyrant, or a savior? Will she become a beacon of hope and freedom for the downtrodden of Equestria, or a catastrophic fault that will tear the nation to pieces?

cover art by Vladimir-Olegovich on Deviantart. (Used with permission) [url=https://www.deviantart.com/vladimir-olegovych/art/crizalis-810147655

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 58 )

The story you propose in the description is interesting. I always enjoy seeing someone find a new take on a characters history.

Thanks! I'll try to upload every week and keep the story going.

Comment posted by Seahorn deleted Dec 11th, 2019

9983870
Beg your pardon? I can't understand, sorry.

more, I need more. NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

9983905
This story is so, so, so, so early in development.

9984042
Thank you! Will deliver in another weeks time, and with longer chapters, as well!

9984471
I just started writing on a whim. Didn't actually expect people to comment on it. I hope I'll be able to go into a bit more depth in the future.

9984544
it is one of few stories when Chrysalis was a student of Celestia. I am so hoping for the Chapter where the canterlot wedding is going to happen, so I hooked on the story

9985039
Oh, I have plans for that chapter... I hope you turn out to like them.

I bet Chryssie still felt bad to have to impersonate her former best friend. She did ran away without telling her. And she's now too different than Cadence doesn't recognize her

Oh... boy. ‘Monsters are made, never born’ and I think Cadance’s parents are responsible for it

10003611
Couldn't have said it better myself.

That’s dark. Cadance’s parents caused Chrysalis’ parents to die because of their illness. That’ll destroy any friendship

10027579
Well, that's why the tag is up there. I don't know if I pulled off a convincing delivery, though..

That... selfish. Those unicorn bastards! Blaming Pillar for their misfortunes because of the illness and her race. Celestia should’ve let them defend for themselves by convincing another race to attack them to show that their arrogance will lead them. Plus I think it was a backlash of the magic.

10027606
Well, it was the nightmare that did it, but yeah, unicorns are quite selfish at this point in time. Also, there's going to be another race attacking, if you know what I mean.... *wink*

A tragic story for the birth of Chrysalis. Who’s to say that Cadance will remember her friend who she took her parents lives because they were sick and repaid it with hate and taking a racist unicorn of a father?

10038738
Well, I think Cadance is the victim of this story, since she was only a child when Chrysalis's parents died, and Chrysalis killed her own father, under the influence of the nightmare. Also, as this story progresses, she would suffer even further....

The chapters of caterpillar life of loss, persecution, and greed of others have come to a bitter end. In that fire, she rose. The birth of Chrysalis has begun, now the world shall know her anguish, the Retribution is coming, and her tormentors shall BURN

10042806
I sure hope the canterlot nobles and Neigh Sayers punished what they did to her and her parents. By the way doesn't she have any relative, as earth pony she will have a lot of them or she and her parents are the only survivors of the pandemic?. I sure hope Chrissy stays at a moral grey area cause it is where the fun truly is. Hard decision. What I call fun for main characters.

10042857
Well, Pillar's parents did have some relatives, but as they were kicked out of their home village because of the plague and childbirth without marriage, they would have lost contact with them in Canterlot. As for punishment... that's spoiler territory.

10043035
I guess they don't have anyone to turn too, but it's other. What a cruel world and yet they keep moving just to give a bright future for their pillar, and yet some say otherwise. I enjoy the world you have made, keep up the good work.

10043049
Thanks! I hope to further entertain you in the future.

Your description of the battle being graphics is...very tame compared to other stories I have read, so no worry about people becoming squeeze on it. For the social structure you're trying to convey, you can turn it into a chapter since we are nearing to canterlot event, you can make a scene where chrysalis and pharynx help train the recruit and test them on the value and purpose of its formation etc. Unfortunately, you already explained it in the author note... Maybe you can expand that idea into action for the characters to show what are their role is in their social hierarchy. This only an idea, you can ignore it if it doesn't suit you.

10061808
That's a really good Idea, actually. I was planning on making a chapter about the preparations for an invasion, so explaining the changeling society on the way is a good idea, I suppose.

10062322
Also, I was more worried about Chrysalis's dream sequence then the actual battle.

The former queen is an idiot, I'll enjoy see her being torn apart because of her stupid pride.

10073042
Well, she does have the pony equivalent of smallpox, so I hope that satisfies you?

10073056
What is the pony equivalent of cow pox?

10073089
Hmm, didn't think about that. You gave me an idea. I might use it in a later scenario.

10073089
10073097
By the comics buttocks! joey what have you done! You gave Seahorn an idea of a new sickness. Time for the foragers to wear the plague doctor mask, and a cart to bring the dead.

10073097
imagine if the first vaccine was made by changelings.
10073213
infection with cow pox usually isn't fatal and is actually why milk maidens were unaffected by smallpox

10073123
My Bionicle OC on the other hand probably wouldn't be satisfied as he actually enjoys tormenting those like her for his own amusement...if he cared about her existence at all.

Sorry for not a very good English.

Yeah, I'm know that after 40 years remembrance of the first earthpony who became Celestia's apprentice would be effaced from Equestrians memory.
But I think it would be interesting if among the delegates on botched ascension of Cater Pillar happened to be young Granny Smith and Granny Pie.
As we know, if we say "Apple Clan" we have in mind traditions, family honour and unwillingness to change when the world changes (in general). And story of Cater Pillar became example for the young Applejack that trying to jump ahead of yourself is the grave mistake. AJ would snap her hooves on story and fall from disgrace of future changeling Queen.
Whereas Granny Pie as oddball of Pie Clan would be seeing in Cater Pillar misunderstood tragic hero who tried her best to change the world to her people for the best, to see farther than racial prejudices. On the contrast to Applejack, Pinkie Pie would grown up idolising Cater Pillar and like her she would be make the world the better place with her "crazy" inventions.

I just can't get my mind off this idea...

10078304
Whoa..... Never thought of that. But since you've already mentioned it, I'll have to take it a slightly different direction. However, I really appreciate your feedback and the willingness to make such a dedicated comment on my underdeveloped fiction. Keep up your good work!

10078304
That goes for all of you who have commented on this story so far. It means a lot, and although I won't make the story exactly according to your ideas, all of these comments are giving me a great chance to make my fiction richer. I really thank you for all of that.

before I read this, just want to remark on how the synopses along drew me towards wanting to read it.
I've always wondered what would happen if an earth pony or pegasus were to ascend given canterlot's obvious unicorn supremacy.

I think I should have elaborated on what I said, about making a context about the changeling society. You can make chapters base on one of the departments like one chapter is focused only on the sentinel and the next chapter is foragers focus only, so you can give them a deep understanding of what they are one at a time, giving the readers to digest the info. This chapter shows what they do in quick and on the point scene. Besides making deep intricate lore is taxing as it is, so do what you think is best for this story you are the judge and executioner after all.

She began coughing, and the liquid that spat out of her mouth was crimson red in color. It was the final stage, and time was running out fast. "One... last... thing. Chrysalis... do not... take... Equestria's... throne," she said with blood curdling from her neck. "For it... will.... only... bring you.... ruin..."

well that not sound ominous at all *sarcastically*, if she can't get the throne then she can do the second-best thing, head butting the ponies of centerlot or slap them all like the scene of a certain video. Look like cadence gonna have a very bad time with their reunion. Wow look at that record of shining so spotless it almost makes you want to shite on it, for being a goodie-goodie two shoe, wonder who's ass did he kiss to be good in physically and morally but sucks in mental fortitude?. This chapter is shaping up well.

way to go story, you managed to kill two birds with one stone in a way that makes me wish I could see it up close and personal.

Also some pony or changeling need to get named cure of hoof pox or something because so far that disease seems to be putting in work in moving the plot along. First it was Chrysalis's parents, then its the previous changeling queen. Who else is going to fall to that mysterious plot related disease, maybe Cadance's mother with Celestia making Cadance an alicorn so she wouldn't die from it.

On that note, looking forward to Chrysalis seeing her former friend is an alicorn.

10084726
Well, I guess that would be a nice addition, however currently I want to focus on the story of Chrysalis and her journey towards the surface. Definitely will keep that in mind though. Maybe a side chapter once the story has progressed further? As for Shining Armor... we'll see.
I may be the judge, but I really do appreciate the jury(all of you wonderful commentators) giving me plenty of feedback. Thanks for reading my unfinished fic with great patience and encouragement.

10084775
and I'm looking forward to Cadance seeing her friend as a changeling queen(although she won't know just yet)

Interesting start. Cater has all the right to be angry.

Welp, that can only end well.

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