• Member Since 15th Feb, 2016
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Gravestone


I see people two ways who they are and who they can be.

Comments ( 96 )

THIS IS VERY GOOD I love that game and I am tracking this and put it on my favorites so I hope to see more of this also first just because

Wow ! I check this game look interesting . I like it, I'm a first time watch that great game. :) ( I nodded)

Thank you very much this is my first submitted fanfic.I have two more chapters that need editing so far for this story and five more stories that still need editing. so I'm going to be very busy. But if you have any suggestions. I would be happy to listen to them.

Well well well... someone has been naughty. Not only Kelt but Jojo too... unless the champion (Who we never got the name of) managed to find a different solution to turn them, otherwise our protagonist is not such a goody two shoes (which given his/ her/ herm situation is not that strange given how he was taken there without a say in the matter). It's a good start but you might want to profread this before you continue and also the fact that we never got to see the initial encounter between the protagonist and Faust other than in the description is a bad thing.
Hope you can take some criticism and I wish you a good day sir/ madam :moustache::heart:.

Oh god, I reckon it might get a bit weird if this goes the way I play the game

Just to clarify the main protagonist or as I like to call them the hero hehehe is 100% all guy most of the time.To show that I'm realy not a bad guy I'm actually not only following the game but CoC Revamp Mod on trello. I know what your thinking HAY THIS GUY IS CHEATING but I'm not it's just for ideas.As for furture shenanigans lets just say one if not more of our favorite mares might be getting a new appendage.I leaning more towards well not going to say names but their initials are Fluttershy and Rarity.

Comment posted by DAMN HAMSTER deleted Apr 13th, 2017

... I will read this later. Not right now, but later.

EDIT: I have now read it. I will be watching.

I have no idea when people are talking can you fix that

You need to add quotation marks where people are talking

You need an editor if the description is anything to indicate to that direction:facehoof:

you are an evil sadistic bastard...I respect that and I honestly can not wait for the next chapter man keep em a cummin

I try my best but I can't take all the credit the voices in my head helped too. :pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh::derpytongue2:

*see's the part of fluttershy getting rutted* lucky mutt

Comment posted by Kusac deleted Oct 9th, 2016
Comment posted by dzonewolf deleted Oct 31st, 2016
Comment posted by The Toaster Repair deleted Dec 8th, 2016
Comment posted by shanjoo deleted Jan 8th, 2017
Comment posted by forrest yuchnitz deleted Feb 14th, 2017
Comment posted by forrest yuchnitz deleted Feb 14th, 2017
Comment posted by forrest yuchnitz deleted Feb 14th, 2017
Comment posted by forrest yuchnitz deleted Feb 14th, 2017

8071322 Absolutely I am finishing two chapters now.Then all I have to do is edit them.

Holy mother of deleted comments.:pinkiegasp: Can anyone explain what's going on there!

8151767 That's just a bunch of people that have to hate everything and leave very very rude comments.

8151789 Can you blame them though? I am not demeaning you are anything, as far as I know, English might be your second language, or maybe your very young, you shouldn't be faulted for that, as there is nothing you can immediately do to fix that besides growing up or learning more English.The description, the chapter titles, one doesn't have to go beyond those to know that you are in desperate need of an editor, and this is the one thing that you CAN do to help yourself in the short term. Get someone who knows what they are doing and have them read, proofread, and edit your story.

Also, a string of deleted comments where the only ones untouched are praising the story is a HUGE turn off to anyone who checks out your story. Reason being, the first thing that someone will think is, "woah, looks like the author can't take any criticism... Probably means that the story is bad and everyone calling him/her out was forcibly silenced." Thus, they will probably leave a dislike out of spite without even reading the story.

Before I read this, what is the Gore and Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

8152429 Decapitations, eviscerations, loss of body parts for gore as for dark rape, murder, slavery, and cannibalism. So you see this is not a story for the faint of heart. But it does have a lot of good things too like family, friends, love, and lots and lots of sex.

Reading the first chapter, I can tell right away, there is a lot of editing that needs NEEDS to be made.

You can't tell who's talking or when. Need to make some spaces, spelling...

This could be an amazing story but it needs to be remade and revamped.

Shameless joke

Dear lords... the too often missing punctuation ! The rather disjointed phrases... and the several easy-to-catch errors...
This is fairly difficult to read, because of these many issues.

Also, Faust in CoC's world... teleporting to... so weirdly meta, at the end, on top of everything... What ? I can't even understand where the idea started and where it's aiming to go ?

8180181 Quod si tibi non placet fabulam legere prohibere eum. :pinkiegasp:

. " If Twilight can change this quickly, maybe every penny else can do the same." I thought to myself.Its supose to be everypony and its zecora not zacora

U need to get a good editor dude. The story isn't bad but yeesh please get one.

The video for the phone menu doesn't work/ not there anymore, just saying.

Damn, you must be a hardcore player to even add the CocEd function on this fic. Also, are you using the original version or the modded version? Because if you're using the original try the modded one, it adds lots of other functions and items, plus the CoCEd is already supporting the modded version, so you can test things out.

8270221
I got the mod version get updates every time new ones come out now on CoC 1.0.2 - Mod v1.4.7 can't wait till v1.5.0. :pinkiehappy:

8270385
Same. Also, have you tried TiTS (Trials in Tainted Space) or Fall of Eden? Maybe you can add that for your second story or something else... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

oh god the moment I read the title I knew we were going to be in a world of pain, gore, sex, drugs, and roc- wait no just a bunch of fucking sex ... oh and good job on beating lethice I beat her a day after the final version came out

I agree, I was having a hard time understanding when people were talking, and the spelling errors are everywhere. there's plenty of room for improvement and I think once that is taken care of then this will be a even more amazing story!

Login or register to comment