• Member Since 15th Feb, 2016
  • offline last seen Jun 16th, 2018

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I see people two ways who they are and who they can be.

Comments ( 162 )

hybrid births

Made my forkin day.

IGN 12,75/10

Well while this is probably too fast on most accounts i am amused so ill keep reading for now.

8178989 Well considering how incapable they are, they have to justify their existence SOME HOW!

Also, Like the RV and LOVE THE FREAKIN' SECOND CAR!

think about it.No, I'

add a space por favor

Yo, I'm gonna read this later, but just letting you know that; if you don't add your fic to the appropriate groups then you won't get nearly as many views.

I don't usually critique fics, but I felt the need to do so for this one. First, you need to slow your pacing. Nobody has time to remember and digest what's happened before the next thing happens. Use more descriptive words and sentences. Speaking of descriptive sentences, that brings me to my second issue. Don't use pictures. Most of us aren't children, so we don't need pictures to describe what we're reading. You could also double up and fix both issues if you take out the pictures and instead take the time to describe them. Other than these two issues, I can really get behind this story, can't wait for more!

8182717 Quidam non est hic esses simillis, sed nuntium non curat fabula quis putas meae.

No offense but that's a crappy dream house, one its boxy and two its green :trixieshiftright: . I have problems with the colour green but on a house and that specific shade makes it look stupid. Good story though :twilightblush:

8182750
my latin is rusty, but what I think what he is trying to say is that he dont give no shits about what you say about his fic

8184963 Bravo I just want them to work for it. :pinkiecrazy:

Comment posted by TheBig3 deleted May 24th, 2017
Comment posted by TheBig3 deleted May 24th, 2017

I Stroked her cheek to show her I wasn't mad. "Well that would be the material it's made from a titanium-tungsten alloy one foot thick, in fact, the roofs, exterior walls, as well as the garage and basement floors, are made of it. Put it simply this place is a giant metal box and the alloy makes it virtually indestructible."

So he's a billionaire?!?! That stuff is bloody expensive especially for a house. Also the story is moving waaaay too quickly. He's already gonna marry about 8 mares :pinkiegasp:?! Also spotted some grammar mistakes but I can't be bothered to put it on here (sorry). Other than that, story is nice:twilightsmile:

Actually I believe the consensus is that they are much shorter.

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/533/757/4d4.png

8192291 Anon Saves Equestria, er... the ponies in that story are giants. Also, I don't give a damn about the consensus. It 's my story so I can make them any size I want. If you don't like it then STOP READING IT.

8192253 Yes his family had money they were Arms Dealers remember and I don't think he's going fast just read
7 human in Ponyland that's how the title is written
The Fabled Worrior same as the first one
Rune Soldier
And about four or five stories by Distorted Flare.
And about you previous comment the green colored house was the only one that matched the floor plans, in fact, the color is a blueish gray as for being a box its easier to build a box than something with multiple angels plus it's more structurally sound.

Comment posted by Tedious_Blizzard deleted May 27th, 2017

8192858 Chill out, I wasn't criticizing, and I actually enjoyed the story.

Seriously, calm down.
cdn.meme.am/instances/61402119.jpg

The story does go a bit too fast and some points may need more time to flesh them out, there is also so there are some odd character moments e.g. twilight, but overall it's a rather good read and I shall be waiting for the next chapter.
6/10 would (INSERT MEME) again.

Was kinda hoping 6 of the 7 ponies weren't gonna be the Mane 6 since that cliche has been beaten dead, then beaten for another 3 days for good measure.

8193406 I'm all for Princess Luna, Gilda and Zecora though. Not enough good stories with them.

8193433 habent seen any with either gilda or zecora with a human b4

8193463 Thank you I know I've not seen a lot of stories about Gilda and Zecora and a human either.
FYI I'm also adding a Diamond Dog named Lassie to the group.
https://derpicdn.net/img/2012/9/30/110701/full.png
And there will be a couple of funny scenes with Poison Joke but that's all I'm giving away.

8193536 wow will she be like her species or will she be smart legitimately

8193463 I've seen 1, possibly 2 clopfics of Gilda with a human. There are/were multiple M rated stories on this site with human x Gilda but they haven't been updated in years.

8194009 Average pony intelligence so she's a genius to other Diamond Dogs.

8193390 That is true but how many stories do you know of, that the mane six are still ponies but are able to drive awesome vehicles and were Spike gets to learn how to shoot guns?

8194635 ok cool so shes like the leader? Wait ponies driving vehicles...... Sir I have to issue a complaint of too much awesome in that statement

8195622 No she was an Omega because she was smarter than the rest of them and they didn't like it. But Lassie lost her Pack and Pup to Raiders. And Brian, Rarity, and Spike find her at the Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange beginning sold as a slave.
And yes Ponies driving is awesome X 10.

Can't wait for more, good sir. In other words MORE NOW!:flutterrage:

I'm sorry, but this is moving way too damn quickly, and with far, far too many errors. I have seen that you won't build upon the constructive criticism given to you, that you are far too entrenched in your grounds that you have (rather shoddily) built for yourself, so I will just leave a dislike and these words for you: don't be so quick to push off help, it may make your work better in the end.

8199738 Thank you and I will take your advice into consideration doesn't mean I'll listen to it but I'll consider it.

Beside that the story is mocking at a really fast pace i must admit that i have enjoyed this fic so far, will be looking forward to the next chapter :duck:

That was so awesome so far can't wait to see what's next.

100% pure Epic awesome. can't to see what's next.

818496
Here's the literal translation:
"Some do not care here you would like, but the news but the news doesn't care about the story what do you think of my"
This was a nightmare to translate. I have decent knowledge of French, which helped with it, bit I obviously messed up somewhere in there. Does anyone have an actual translation? (literal is word for word, while actual conveys the meaning).

Looking around at all of them I decided to speak up first. "So I think we all can agree that there are some questions that need to be answered so I say we take turns does that sound resalable?"

Resonable

The story itself is somewhat good and has potential but I can't tell due to how you have written everything... PLEASE GET AN EDITOR!!!
I don't want sadden you much but your grammar and spelling is terrible. I can't read the story well so I have no idea what is going on. Please get an editor for your and the readers' sake.

That is all the advice I can give from what I've read.

Dude you really need an editor.

I don't know if this was mentioned to you before but
"No, I'm serious here I don't know what's going on am I dead, dreaming, or it this the real life is this reality"
The lyric is actually "is this the real life or is this just fantasy" I know it's a very minor thing but I'm a fan of Queen and I just had to tell you.

Sorry but I can't even get halfway through this...
I'm already sore from all the full body cringing I've done already.
And if you don't want to take advice on how to make your story bearable you don't deserve the views or likes it could have gotten.
So sorry not sorry learn respect people who wish to help and fuck off.

You got the heights of ponies wrong the ponies are only 3 feet tall. cause science.

i suck at gramar and i am lazy about it and shity but this .... boy this is some new level 100/10 if you want to go blind i recomend this story to read

Was wondering if you wanted an editor, saw several mistakes in all chapters and thought an editor might help keep the attention you've gained, still put on the story.

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