• Member Since 28th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen Jul 13th, 2019

Redroseheart


*hands you a snickerdoddle* have a nice day! :D

E

( I would like to thank my awesome editor for making this story longer then it was to start with)

Fluttershy, a shy and caring pegisi always dreams of having a family, raising some kids,
but she knows she could never come to that, nopony would ever want a shy thing like her.

but that all changes when she finds a baby Changling on her door step, feeling sorry for the little thing fluttershy takes him into her home, but taking care of him will take some time to get used to.

cover image found here

(based off a Scottish story saying that fairies will still a human baby, and leave a changeling in its place, I messed with it a bit though...)

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 52 )

This is so beatiful....:raritystarry:

D'aww, I'm imagining Flurry Heart coos as the baby is doing that.:rainbowkiss:

This, This is good, really, really good. Well done!

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thanks everyone,
I think I will write my stories out like this from now on

D'aww :pinkiesad2: That was adorable... Like + Fave! :yay:

This, is interesting... You'll find I'm likely harder to please than the other commenters. It interests me enough to read and track it. No grammatical errs that I could see when just reading, though I could likely find some if I went through with intent to find some. However, this also feels a bit... off. The wording could likely be improved. In my mind, it seems a bit... awkward.

Entering her kitchen Fluttershy turned on the light to behold who now lay in her care.

Comma after kitchen.

so sweet I hope the rest of the Mane six do freak out when they learn Flutters is caring for a changeling foal

7280503 trust me, that part will be awesome!

I noticed a few typos in this chapter, you should get a proofreader. But other than that, it was a good chapter, if short.

Your editor did a wonderful job.

7281019 Can I get the name of your editor?

Interesting concept, but the pacing is a little too fast for me to enjoy it. The main issue though is the description: proper capitalisation would help immensly.

7281035 "you are the editer", odd name. I'll look them up.

7281139 Gray Mane is the name of the awesome editor

7281154 I know, I just couldn't help having a bit of fun. And I'm glad you like the little fairy tale I came up with. I was worried it wasn't too good.

Excellent story. Keep up the good work!

7281221 lol,
welcome,
I don't think it was a right story for a baby to have read to them...
but how you made him react was what I really liked about it

I wanna get to the freakin out part now... I wonder why.

7281292 Well to an infant a story is a story, doesn't really matter what it has in it. If he were say 3 or older, then I would have worked it out a little differently. But I'm glad you like it.

I actually kind of want to know where that story was going. It sounds like a cool legend. If you don't end up finishing the story in this fic, or using it for another, can I try and take a crack at it?

You should totally have that story be the kid's favorite one that inspires him to become a hero.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

I have an idea! Get one of the main six that is not rainbow dash, twilight, or rarity, to come to fluttershy's house for some reason as a plot device.

7555110 I already have some ideas, but thank you anyways, I will keep it in mind

7564215 When is the next chapter coming?

Great story! I hope to see more soon.

Another good chapter, only thing I can say is that there should be more, but hey, what are you going to do.

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thanks ^.^ I will be working on the next chapter soon, I got another story that I need to get ready to send to the mods

Foul should be foal.

Couple other minor errors.

Overall pretty decent.

First: wow, this isn't dead?

Second:

She sighed as she presented the basket to them, “I found a foul on my doorstep." Before Fluttershy could say anything else a small noise came from the basket.

Foul should be foal.

Third:

“She is right.” Twilight chimed in as she placed a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder, “Feeding him could be a problem. We all know that changelings feed on love, and we all saw what happened to my brother when Chrysalis fed off of him.”

You could chalk it up to overeating. She was constantly draining with intent to weaken Shining and gain more power. If the Changeling only eats enough to survive, the effect may be different.

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k I will try and fix it, thanks for letting me know

"OK!" Pinkie Pie said happily hopping out of Rainbow’s grasp and back into the castle "come on girls! we have a tea party to get to!" Dash

rolled her eyes as she followed Pinkie, brushing off the fact she had slipped through her hooves.
Almost as if either they or her were covered in oil, “You coming Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked as she looked back catching her peeking into the basket.

"OK!" Pinkie Pie said happily hopping out of Rainbow’s grasp and back into the castle "Come on girls! We have a tea party to get to!"
Dash rolled her eyes as she followed Pinkie, brushing off the fact she had slipped through her hooves.

Twilight gave Fluttershy a bewildered look before she levitated the blanket off the Whimpering foal, as the blanket fell onto the table every pony slowly began to peek at what lay inside. 

whimpering

Yay a new chapter and I forgive you

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Thank you for forgiving me ^u^

hmmmmmmmmmmmm...........


topaz is in my radar... are you his mother?

Your section break doesn't have a proper [/center] tag. You also might want to put in an empty line after it.

I give you the 100th like. This is worth it.

please write more chapters

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