A lot of the Canterlot High students have always thought Rainbow Dash was more like a guy than any other guys at school, She ate dirt and was rough on the sports fields, she guzzled soda after fighting with the machines for the can, and frankly, she's tired of being mistaken for a dude. So she goes to two of her friends, asking Rarity and Sunset what makes them feel like girls and if they can help her. It won't make her any less of a person, to feel more like a girl.
Teen and the sex tag is for some references to older age appropriate content, E.X. mentioning their femininity and some mild sexual or similar references, but this isn't a clopfic and there's no strong sexual content.
Chapters (1)
Lol this reminds me of Miss Congeniality!
That lucky bastard.
7243982 actually it was partly inspired by this story by henry101
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/289615/20-more-feminine
I'm honestly surprised that the similar bar doesn't link to it, could a swore it'd get an honorable mention
BADASSITUDE!!! MEEDLYMEEDLYMEEDLYMOOWW!!!
Said should not be capitalized.
That should be a comma, not a semicolon.
This should not have an apostrophe.
Pronouns in attributions should not be capitalized if they're after the quotation. ("she", "he", etc.)
Extra space there and verb tense shift (should be 'made', not 'making'.)
That comma should be a semicolon; 'when' should not be capitalized.
bro," he said
their
don't
You switched to present tense here when the story is in past tense.
This is as far as I read until you get this story edited by someone who knows what they're doing. Sorry. I can't read a story with this many awful errors.
There's a lot of grammar mistakes.
7244174 The errors you pointed out are fixed...
7244269 Great! Now fix the rest of the errors I didn't point out.
7244366 I ran through the entire story and modified what I thought were errors similar to ones you pointed out before.
7244394 That's not good enough. You need to get a second person to preread and edit for you.
I gave it a thumbs up.
If only there was a picture of Dash's new look.
Okay, there were some really funny moments and laughed so hard, but you need an editor (try some groups like 'Looking for Editors'), and I thought the ending was a little rushed. Other than that, it was good.
7245405 Thank you it was your story 20% more feminine that inspired this fic so i kinda owe you one
7245579 You're welcome /)
7245598 np (\
7244667 i love how my cover image makes it look like rainbow is saying all the exposition text...like she's saying
"But I am a girl, and i'll prove it too!" because of how the cover is laid out
I really like stuff like this,when a character questions their look,behavior etc...aspecially if its though girls like Rainbow.Had me entertained all the way.
7244118 I knew this was similar to 20% More Feminine. Kind of obvious. Especially with Rainbow saying it in this story
I quite enjoyed your fic
7281181 Thank you
Made me LMFAO because it was right after he said that sentence about plagiarism.
7309450 I love your avatar
7331285 Hey Jack, goes well with the name doe.
This is the exact same story as 20% More Feminine by Henry101. Like almost word for word. Only difference is its in EQG world and not Ponyville. In fact the dialogue with Rarity IS word for word.
7403695 It's not EXACTLY word for word, there are a lot of similarities but i honestly have tried to make this a story told in its own right, for one the ending is different from that one which ended with rainbow ditching her new look because of all the stallions it attracted to her, sunset didn't appear at all given the different settings, and her realization in that story came from a colt mistaking her for a stallion from being in the mud, here it's a basketball game that the players didn't realize she was a girl from how she was dressed and acting. I did have that dioluge but i really meant it more as a shout out to that story because it inspired me to do one like it just my own set in the EQG universe and with my own plot and style.
I do believe Rainbow is going to be sorry once she's arrested.
8112680 thats teenage boys for you, do you really think hoops will openly admit to getting his nose busted by a girl?
8113533
Considering he just said she's got more balls than all the guys... yeah. Also, they weren't alone. Any number of them could get the authorities involved, and even if she's not arrested, she may get suspended.
thanks for the reassurement there on the description, i do not want to see any sexual content, if it's mild i can tolerate, but anything above that just left me feeling uncomfortable, let's just hope this would be a good read