[-__- ] wat
"Wow, you sure must be hungry, Twilight!" Pinkie Pie lightly poked Twilight in her furry tummy, eliciting a soft squeal from the unsuspecting alicorn.
"Careful eating too much too fast, or you'll ruin your Pretty Pony Princess figure!" Pinkie joked, donning a tall, gold crown and a frilly, pink dress from nowhere. She fluttered her thick eyelashes and rotated her hoof in a princess-like fashion, slicking back her poofy mane into a curly bun.
Twilight cocked her eyebrow at her friend. "Eating?" She looked around her desk, trying to see if she'd accidently left a snack or two around, but found nothing. "What do you mean eating? I'm just taking some notes on Taxonomy." Twilight paused, a smile spreading across her face. "If you'd like, I could tell you some very interesting facts about it! Like how some mosses are classified as—" Twilight's lesson was abruptly cut off by Pinkie suddenly ramming into her desk, pointing wildly at...something. Her cup of brand-new quills thumped on to the soft carpet; brightly colored feathers flying everywhere. The parchment skirted to the left, along with the table, messing up the perfectly aligned edges.
"Of course you're eating!" Pinkie screeched, as if offended that Twilight was denying it. "What else could you possibly be doing with all that super amazing paper right there in front of you?" Twilight frowned slightly, reorganizing her stack and steadying the hyperactive Pinkie with her magic, while simultaneously levitating up her quills.
The crazy party mare was making even less sense then usual, and it was giving her a headache. Twilight massaged her temples with her hooves.
Inviting Pinkie over to the castle might have been a bad idea.
Twilight rolled her eyes, shifting to face forwards in her seat. "Listen, Pinkie. When you told me you wanted to hang out, I said we could, but I had some things to do. Remember?" Pinkie furiously nodded her head, curls bouncing as she looked into Twilight's dark, amethyst eyes. "Well," Twilight continued, "you told me you wouldn't bother me until my work was done, right?" Another nod. "So I need to work now. Besides, I'm pretty sure Starlight is around somewhere...the last time I saw her was this morning, I think. Why don't you go talk with her until I'm finished?" The nodding turned to shaking.
"Oh, no," Pinkie said, glancing out the window in Twilight's bedroom. A few birds fluttered by, landing on a branch outside. One was orange with a brown head, and the other white with a bright, purple streak. They oddly reminded Twilight of two ponies she knew, but couldn't place who. She shook her head as Pinkie resumed talking. "Starlight left a few hours ago to get her mane styled. I think she's gonna change it a lot, actually." The pink mare nervously shivered. "And just between you and me, I'm actually a bit scared of Starlight. I mean, I like her and all, but she does seem to use her magic to force other ponies to do things, and like, what if she forces me to hate parties? That would be really awful!"
Twilight glared at Pinkie Pie. "She does not force ponies to do anything."
Pinkie squirmed under Twilight's disapproving look. "Not to be a meanie-pants or anything, but yep, she does."
"Name one time she did!"
"She made a whole town have the same cutie marks so everypony would be equal."
"..."
Pinkie coughed.
"Still!" Twilight insisted, "she's different now. Starlight doesn't do that anymore."
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"Pinkie, name something she did recently that could have come off as forceful."
"She made Big Mac go through the horrible trauma of speaking his every thought."
"I—"
"Does tooooo!"
Twilight sighed and stopped arguing, thinking that one over. "Fine. Maybe Starlight is being a bit too controlling. Just maybe. She is still learning about friendship, after all. But, sure, I'll ask her about it later, okay?"
Pinkie laughed, booping Twilight roughly on the nose. "Aww, I'm just kidding! I loooove Starlight! We're so close we're like sisters!"
Pinkie pulled out a picture of her and Starlight, hugging, with the words; 'Best Kinda Sisters Forever' inscribed on the frame. "And I totally don't think she does that, or at least not to be mean."
Twilight blinked slowly, confused. "Erm, alright. Good, I guess."
A long beat.
"So, can I eat some of that paper you have?"
"What."
"Can I, please? You can't possibly eat it all! And it looks so good!"
Twilight stared dumbfounded, eyebrows arched, as she attempted to reply. "Wh-what?"
"Please?" Pinkie pleaded with big, blue eyes; forelegs clasped together.
"You want. To eat. This paper." Twilight deadpaned, wrinkling her muzzle. Was this an elaborate prank? She glanced around, vainly searching for a rainbow flash. This just reeked of a PinkieDash setup. But no annoying blue pegasus was found.
"Yeah! Can I have it?"
"Buh! Y-You can't eat paper! It's not food!"
Pinkie Pie giggled, as if she was the one acting strange. "Silly Twi. 'Course you eat paper! It's delicious! Maybe your thinking of its cousin, cardboard? Bleh—cardboard is gross!"
Twilight didn't respond.
"Oh, no!" Pinkie Pie's playful expression turned worried. "Wait—don't tell me you've never tried paper before?!" Pinkie scrambled beside Twilight, gasping. "This is way worse then I thought! You need to get some paper in your mouth, stat!" Pinkie lifted up a piece from Twilight's pile, and put it in the former unicorn's mouth.
Twilight didn't move.
Pinkie pushed her jaw up and down, making her chew it.
After a few moments, Twilight swallowed and turned towards her beaming friend.
"Pinkie," Twilight said slowly.
"This tastes like sh—"
And in the distance, Rainbow Dash burst out laughing.
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nomnomnomnomnomnomnom
I have eaten paper
7235796
Me too. Not to bad, actually
7235809 yeah
Sh-redded cheese on a nice hay sandwich with a side of ice-cream drizzled with salted caramel, strawberry syrup, sweetened milk chocolate, and vanilla cake batter with red, green, and burnt sienna sprinkles mixed in along with a dish of ambrosia made by deities greater than Celestia and Luna themselves coated with the blood of your youngest family member?
7235997
Ah! That's me!
(by 13 minutes)
7235997
Oh. I was just gonna say Shrek. Cause Shrek don't taste guud, not tat allll
7236010 That's not what the man-kid from "Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life" thinks.
7236004 ...Someone coated ambrosia with your blood?!
7236023
Oh
...
Shrekkkkkkkkkkk
7236004
Thank you, Leah. I killed you. Goodbye.
7236028
No, no, I'm the younger one
That was funny! Some how, I just knew Dash was in on it all long. Nice work! And thanks for the much needed laugh today!
7236057
Oh, thank you! And yep, that dashie
7236048 Ah. Apologies.
The dislike...it burns!
7236181
That comment dislike...it burns!
I don't know what to way but...
!
7236221
That was me on the comment
This was a treat.
9/10
That was really funny! made me laugh! Great story by the way!
1,000,000/10. Fucking amazing!
If anyone adds this to favorited, I'd appreciate a thumbs-up too, please!
This was hilarious.
Obvious ViolentlyIrrelevant bait is obvious.
Decent piece of comedy, a good definition of "random".
7238895
I don't know what you're talking about :P
Parchment isn't paper. It's scraped animal skin.
There's your random bit of trivia for the day.
what paper tastes Delicious
7241935
That stuff isn't really parchment, it's just marketed that way. Considering the tasty, tasty animal carcasses that are probably on your pizza I'm sure it could be worse, though.
Great story! I loved the way you've written it. And I like the subject you picked for the story, it was pretty funny!
Have a like!
7236221 TAKE IT LIKE A WOMAN. (jk lol)
Sheepskin, of course.
7272618
He he, for I cannot. I am only a child.
I am dead now. The dislikes burnt me to death XD
7272711 XD Rest in Peace
Pinkie... If Twilight didn't eat the paper voluntarily, the prank didn't work.
Trivia time!
Paper wasn't always an inexpensive commodity machine-made from wood pulp.
Parchment was made from animal skin, and candles were made from bee's wax or animal fat. A scholarly life was an expensive one. Paper, even the cheaper type made from papyrus, would be more costly than most foods.
Interruption censoring is my favorite.
This was a good read. I enjoyed it. I need to come up with another random Pinkie fic. Great job.
She's not wrong. Paper is very tasty, I personally like it at least.
AWESOME!
I read this before I joined the site and just now found it again. I'm very glad I did.
Also:
I know these are supposed to be two ponies, but I can't figure out who
7421692 who were the birds?
7919103 Oh XD
WHAT A PLOT TWIST!
I remember when I was younger I had a bad habit of eating paper. Luckily I grew out of it.