• Member Since 10th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen April 18th

the frank


Comments ( 64 )

I'm a little surprised that Harshwhinny is teaching Math and English, but English classes beyond middle school tend to be kind of a joke anyway. :applejackunsure:

Looking forward to seeing how this turns out! :pinkiehappy:

6942162 ummm... oops...:twilightblush: In my defense, over here it ain't an uncommon combination. ..but...Sorry, my bad? Also, the second part will be ready in a few days.

Not bad! I almost want to say it puts mine to shame, but we were clearly going for different themes. It needs a good editing pass or two, as I did notice a few errors. Quite a few, actually.

But overall, you have a solid concept and I am interested in seeing where this goes!

6942299 Thanks! Yeah, this storys origin is basically the idea of it being awkward and kinda cute hearing Fluttershy talk dirty and then it just got worse. But I would lie if I said your story wasn't an inspiration. We all want to see Fluttershy happy, don’t we?:ajsmug:

I was a bit to eager to publish, but I Will give it a run - through tomorrow. I will at least get the worst baddies.

6942335 Aw shucks, you're making me blush!

And you gotta be careful about that. Being eager to publish, I mean. It's okay to be excited, but it's like I'm always telling a good friend of mine, The Hat Man, you can't rush d'excellence. Time was, though, I did the same thing. You seem to be a competent writer, so I'm not talking down to you or anything. I'm just making a point.

6942370 yeah, yeah, I know...Guilty as charged. And it's a sound advice so you don't have to apologise. In fact, I promise I will not rush the completion of chapter two.

Not sure how I feel about that title, knowing what it's referencing.

6943033 FINALLY someone gets that reference.

I think this story is in line with the end of that one, but I know what you mean.

6943033 What's it referencing?

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Wow. You learn something new every day. It's like this : in 2004 I watched the vagina monologues. It’s a very interesting piece, it swings from raunchy stand-up to pure tragedy with slice-of-life inbetween. The skit whose title I am referensing made a very strong impression on me, Although the last words about rape was gone and the girl was aged up when I saw it. I thought it was consensual. While it is a lot of abuse in the skit, what stayed on my mind was that the narrator found that sex could (and should) be a positive experience in spite of her previous experiences. And I also found the fraser "coochie snorcher" as adorable and quite powerful to use in contrast to the skits darker parts.

So, what made me use it as theme in a light clopfic? Well, I liked "coochie snorcher" and waited for a moment to use it. Then I read Sfacf and was blown away by the story an characherization but what fascinated me the most was the clash between the naive and the cynic and how both grew as persons from their meetings.
"Coochie snorcher" sounds like something you would say if you are a bit naive or at least unexperienced. It felt like something Fluttershy would say and think. But she also has this idea that you have sex for the others sake more than your own. She sees her sexuality as a sacrifice. And in the end, she can’t go through with it since her body repells that idea. And while Adagio is a selfish siren (reformed) she does believe that the best sex is when both parts are equally in on it. Adagio wants Fluttershy to learn that sex is something both parts should benefir from and that she needs to learn to like herself, not only to herself, but also in the presence of others.

To give you The short answer; it’s a reference to both. (I was going to add "I think I can" somewhere in the story at first) And in my opinion, both storys share a theme; To do stuff you didn’t think you were able to.

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And then, part 2 was uploaded! I would be much obliged if you gentlebronys tell me what you think.

I am here, Sweetie. I'm closer to you than I ever been. I'm in your heeeead...and I'll never go awaaaay..."

She delights in being at least a little scary, I think. :twilightsmile:

Aaaand, yes, she is as sneaky as ever!

That you worked in a bit of exhibitionism and masochism on Fluttershy's part was a nice touch as well. Both of them feel right in terms of characterization, especially in that no matter what they're doing, that sense of mutual affection is still there. :rainbowkiss:

6947162 Creepy and sweet, combined in a way only Adagio can accomplish. :twilightsmile: And thank you for your kind words!

I don't care about where the term came from, "coochie snorcher" sounds fittingly silly and cute.

i was wondering how she was doing aol those things and not banging her head against the window
Great story and will have to wait impatiently for more:fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::yay:

6949492 It sure does! :pinkiehappy:


6949608 When I planned it, Adagio wasn't supposed to appear at all, but then I relalized just like you did "how the hay could she stand up then? Besides, it was more fun this way. Glad you liked it!

OK, the first two chapters were just as arousing as the original fic this was inspired by, it was just as sexy and sweet at the same time and I was about to add to my tracking list... but this? you just won a fave :rainbowlaugh:

6953890 Oh, thanks!:pinkiehappy: He he... I didn’t expect anyone to like it so...you just made my day!

Hmmm... Not bad. I wasn't into the whole exhibition shtick, but the story is solid and I can see a lot of people liking it. The ending was kind of predictable for me, but i had to stop in the middle of reeding to do something, and my mind was scrambling all over the place, so I had time to figure it out. One thing:

but Adagio kept her irony

that's not how you use 'irony.' Use 'calm' there, instead.it works much better.

Another thing:

becauseknow

fix that. It's in the window segment.

Other than that, it's not too bad. I still laughed at coochie scorcher, though.

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Yay for feedback! Thanks!

About irony, I guess you are right about the way I used it. (It's probably no surprice to you that English ain't my first language ) Although the way I've learned things, calm isn't...well, strong enough. The point is that Adagio keeps the irony in her voice in spite of Fluttershy getting nervous and I want to emphasise that.

Damn... I thought I got everything. Fixed, thanks!

Yeah, to actually use Coochie snorcher in sex talk for real...is probably a nono IRL and I wasn't sure if I would change it or not. In the end I decided that it would be to stupid if she began screaming foul words out of the blue. Hence Adagios line to sort of Justify it. She is also laughing, although on the inside.... I kept fuck, since it was a word she probably heard of and knew how to use, buuutif she had known that Adagio was really in the room at that point, she would never dared to say it.

Thanks for the feedback! Now, onwards to part three!

6955089 I'm glad I made your day, I hope to read more of this story soon :pinkiehappy:

6958032 My plan is sometime during next week.

Adagio and Fluttershy are fucking incredibly adorable...I could legit see Adagio's freaky ass teasing poor little Fluttershy like that to the point of a relationship like this lmfao xD Can't wait to read more...Suggestion for your next fic...Sunset & Adagio or Adagio & Rarity(Oh the kinkiness) and of course because they are perfect together...Sunset & Twilight

6958904 It's in the works. Glad you enjoy it:twilightsmile:

About your suggestions... Well, someting is coming...

6959718 I look forward too it; personally this story gave me inspiration for a story of my own but i'm pretty rusty in this kinda stuff...would love to exchange ideas sometime

6967856 Oh! Well, I don't know if I'm the right person, but it sound like fun! Pm me and lets see what you are thinking!

Oh I do hope if and when Fluttershy gets her chance to give it to Adagio that she...dare I say...Makes that siren SING

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Perhaps it makes a bit more sense.

I think it does! The way this scenario played out felt pretty natural to me, including Fluttershy using her newfound confidence to the point that she passes out. I'm sure Adagio will meet any future "revenge" from Fluttershy with anticipation and glee. :twilightsmile:

6975460 Thanks! I can’t help feeling really good about how this chapter turned out in the end. I am sure Adagio will just adore this new and improved Sweetie. And thanks again for the feedback. Now it’s just a short Epilogue left and then I'm off to other adventures!

...but before that, Rainbows bonus chapter. Don’t miss it, it will be a blaze! (I've decided to make Sunsets ' bonus chapter a separate story. You'll know why when you see it.)


6974915 Trust me, she will! I'm not sure when or if it will be written but she will Sing!

Pretty good. Not my fetishes, but written such that I could appreciate them.:rainbowderp::pinkiegasp::yay:
That said there's some missing letters, misspelling and grammatical errors that really should have been edited out beforehand. The gav, tocuh and se do show up on the site's spell checker so those are easy. But the grammatical stuff doesn't. I'd recommend that once you upload a new chapter to the site that you give it a thorough read so that you can catch this sort of stuff. Even something as small as the missing capitalisation can jar a reader out of their groove and badly impact their reading experience, so taking the few minutes to scan your work one last time is worth it.:twilightsmile:

...as I said. we need you to feel confident.
...and never gav her "that" look.
...actually on that Adagio had bought...
It shimmers to from the oil.
It feels so good to tocuh myself.
They will se me...naked!
Yes dagi...give it to me...

Cute ending, I can definitely see Fluttershy taking full advantage of a quiet spot out in the woods to guarantee some alone time. :twilightsmile:

6982030 Oh, bugger! I thought I caught all the little bastards but apparantly there's always more. Most of them fixed, thank you! And glad you enjoy it. My work is done. :twilightsmile:
6983792 Thank ya kindly! :pinkiehappy:

6944182 I dunno... but it sounds like something relates to the snark.

Okay, I have to admit, that was a pretty clever plan.

I also had a suspicion when you stop putting apostrophes around Adagio's name. I wondered, "Is she REALLY doing that to Fluttershy?" and I gotta say, I didn't expect to be right.

*shakes head* To be honest, I think I would've wrotten something lIke this, too. Well-played.

So, is Rarity scoring how much she likes Sonata based on her sense of fashion? That actually seems both like and unlike Rarity, somehow.

7820681 No, she's scoring how mane spankings she Will give her. Five for a hideous choice, and up to one for a good choice. She is a dom after all.
7820643 Thanks. I'm not good at being subtle, so I just hoped it worked anyway.
7820663 My best ideas (not the best written, but best ideas) are the ones that comes on the spot. This was one of them.

how to white a catchy song

write:derpytongue2:

The fift picture was

fifth
sorry, just reading through the whole thing,I don't have a "real" comment yet:twilightsheepish:

her own medicin

medicine

Also that should be my last correction, and kudos to writing a decent clopfic :raritywink:

7903672 No no, it’s white. Like when Pat Boone did a cover of "Tutti Frutti"?

Nah, just kidding. I will change it.

7903727 Spank you! I tried my best, glad you liked it! :) I will correct my errors as soon as I find my Ipad.

Okay,I was wrong, last one

It taste like you..."

tastes

Also hot damn, I need to find me some of that candy :derpytongue2:

7903729 Ooooohhhhh. Sounds legit :moustache:

7903733 Coolies, sorry if I just kept commenting with corrections for most of the story. :twilightsheepish:

Two thumbs up though, super sweet story! Also question, I've heard cooch, but where the fizuck did "snorcher" come from? XD

7907583 Oh, that's completely fine! Since I never get all those errors myself I'm only grateful.

Thanks!

"Coochie Snorcher", well if you look through the comments you will find a long and elaborate explanation, but the short one is that it comes from the Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler.

7907827 Ah okay. Thank you for the abridged explanation! :yay:

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