Captain_Hairball
Joined 20th Oct, 2015 ·
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I love the way that you write Rarity. Her kinks, and her mannerisms, and her quirks absolutely made this story for me.
10/10!
P.s. Who does your art? It's fantastic.
6911464
Bravo! Not a dry seat in the house!
6920846
This needs more views. It's really great.
6946920
Thank you!
Sexy and sweet!
The weed smoking scene seems... weird.
6966696
How so? Is it something I can fix?
6966762 It's just the idea of them smoking weed. Applejack seems like the least likely of the Mane 6 to even smoke it.
6968076
Oh, good feedback! Sorry, Cerulean and I have talked about this but it hasn't made it into the stories. >.<
Just a sec, lemme try and add some stuff.
6968076
I don't want to dig into it too much, since it'd be more interesting to unpack in an AJ story, but does this help?
6968076
My reasoning is that the other Mane 6 have outlets -- Pinkie strikes me as totally straight edge; just being Pinkie is enough. RD flies, Rarity is intimate with her muse, Twi has her magic. I can see Flutershy smoking (like she does here) until her mental health professionals put on some meds that interact poorly with it (plot bunny!), especially since she hangs out with Tree Hugger. What had AJ got? She lost her parents at an early age, and she must be pretty much running that farm. Granny's old enough that she probably needs considerable taking care of. She's had to raise Apple Bloom pretty much as a mother. Mac is there, but he doesn't seem like the take charge type, so it's at best 50/50. Mad stress! And yet she's so laid back!
And AJ doesn't seem like a drunk to me.
And I'm not having anybody do hard drugs -- too dark, even for me. And... you know. She's a farmer. She grows things.
*deep breath* But, it's hard to get all that in a story without getting all info dumpy, especially since it's from Frazzle's POV and she doesn't know AJ beyond what she reads in the papers.
6968467 Okay, it makes a bit more sense, now.
6969354
Thanks for the feedback!
I've enjoyed this from the get go, but I thought this chapter was especially good. I had a hunch that Rarity was going for one of those, late 80's, Carrie-Esq, high school teen drama, 'Lipstick on a Pig' things with Frazzle, but there was a lot of adorable, and real feeling affection from her this chapter. I like that it's from Frazzle's perspective, and that she's both a bit of a fish out of water, and that she's doubtful about herself, and the things that are developing around her.
Also, I like Applejack as a stoner. I can see it; she's got a lot on her haunches, and it's not like Big Mac has a lot of time to help out between getting caught in sexy and awkward love-squares all the time.
Lookin' forwards to more, chief.
wow Maud's a neeeeeeeeeerd
Rainbow's bluntness and honesty are admirable. No wonder she is such good friends with the element of Honesty.
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ordered Sassy another short of her ridiculously. Minor mistake
6997918
Got it, thanks!
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She's a bro. Her element is the element of bro-ness.
What I really like is that you have to pay for telegrams by the word, and she still put her full rank in there.
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I can imagine an interpretation of Rarity that would be that awful, but mine isn't.
Frazzle will have no beautiful-all-along moment. Frazzle is unspeakably hot exactly the way she is, is my feeling.
6997964
Ehh, Frazzle is definitely adorable in this, true, but she's no 1980's Sissy Spacek. Then, again, frizzy hair, being frumpy, socially anxious and nerdy were totally hot back then. Frazzle's totally channeling that Molly Ringwald look.
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I'm all about the inner beauty.
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Also, I totally don't identify with Fraz, so I'm not biased at all.
Say "no" to math, kids.
Interesting approach. I like it.
What?
Oh, man. Oh, man. That was heavy. This is emotionally affecting stuff. Wanting to change the past, to save her dad, then the guilt she feels over the change she did make and the pain she never wanted to cause . . . geez, this was good. I need to go listen to a bunch of really somber music.
That was fun, thanks. Minor typo: it's 'mete' not 'meet'
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Thanks! Got it!
The feels chapter.
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We're into the third act now; gonna be a lot of feels. Feels everywhere.
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7104440 I look forawrd to feeling in a few months.
Dammit Rarity...what have you done?!
You get what you wish for Rarity, Someone really needs to call her out on that.
Pinkie Pie, we need to talk.
wait a minute ponies Eat prairie oysters?! is that legal?!
8092098
What? So confused.
cmd-f
Oh! It means the drink, in this context. Past me could have been clearer about that, but at this point I'm finding it easier to write other Frazities than to finish this one.
8092127
Thank you for clearing that up, I've never heard of the cocktail before and as you can understand, I was very dismayed and confused. looking forward to more Frazities ,she's a great OC and lends herself well to a lot of stories.
8099975
She's not an OC, actually!
Okay, she's a background pony who's in two episodes and has ten seconds of dialogue, so she might as well be an OC. But she's technically canon!
She's from Princess Spike. That's why nopony remembers her.
so... is this still going? When is it going to pick back up? I've really been liking it!
8161921
IDK. I didn't prep for it enough, and I royally fucked up Fraz and Rarity's character arcs. So I don't know? I'd need to re-read it to know if I can finish it, and even the thought makes me freak out a little.
This story is the reason I finish shit before I post it, now. It doesn't work (see the Twi selfcest one; I don't remember the name), but it works, like 99% of the time.
10385746
Still no ideas on how to do that. I'm sorry. When I try to go back and reread it I get caught up on how clumbsy my old writing is.
10385746
Though I will add -- for me, when it comes to me writing novels, four years is a REALLY SHORT TIMEFRAME. Admittedly Pillars of Society is probably (probably) going to be done in less than a year but I'm not exactly breaking any new ground there.
For me, the complexity of a story grows exponentially as it gets longer, and honestly even short clops take me months to finish.