• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Admiral Biscuit


Money won't nuzzle you when you're sad.

Sequels1

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Dinner with Rose


After a dinner with Rose and a late night drunken trip to Sugarcube Corner, Sam wakes up from a nightmare with a hangover and more questions than answers about fitting in in Equestria. Luckily, ponies have pancakes and aspirin, which at least deal with the first problem. For the second, Sam's got a day off to hopefully find some answers.

Chapters (5)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 174 )

:yay: New story! I might be biased, but great start!

Then Rose rolled into me

Free Pony Hug! She totally did that on purpose, she's not really asleep. :derpytongue2:

imagining pine trees. Counting sheep

I know you like extra spaces after .'s but for some reason on my screen it puts the Counting sheep onto the next line so its indented a space. Never seen that happen in your stories so I thought I would let you know.

Poor Sam, shes in a bit of a rough situation. I'm not certain that feeling of not belonging, stranger in a strange land and all that, will ever really go away. The fact that the locals are so friendly and open, mostly at least, doesn't really help the issue either. "They're so nice and friendly. Something must be wrong with me to feel uneasy." What's worse is I doubt that anyone else can understand her situation or her thoughts behind it. She can't even make sense of it herself. We need human contact in order to remain sane. Isolation is a very bad thing and although Sam isn't alone it seems that it just isn't the same as having other people around.

She looked almost human, with the way her head was lying on the pillow and the lump of her body under the fabric, and yet . . . she wasn’t. So what did that make me? What did it mean that I was sleeping with an animal?

I like this bit and I want to say something about it. But I cannot get it quite right. Sam seems to be trying to rationalize sleeping with Rose. Is the fact that Rose isn't a human a problem? It seems like it may be for Sam. Does Sam feel like she has broken a taboo by getting so personal with Rose? Someone who for all intents and purposes is physically identical to an animal back home, or close enough at least. Is the drunkenness and sleepiness making her think things she doesn't really feel or are they bringing to the surface things she has buried in order to acclimate? I don't know and I don't think Sam does either.

Answers would come when they came, and until then I’d just muddle along as well as I could and try not to think too much about things I couldn’t change.

Reminds me of the Serenity prayer. I wonder if ponies have 12 step meetings. Regardless people are very good at ignoring things that keep us up at night. Whether it is the healthiest choice or not remains to be seen.

I personally have never had these stories click for me like some of you other works. Too many disagreements with how Sam has decided to handle things and a lack of excitement/discovery. I regarded them as slow-burners, something to read with little to keep me engaged. But this chapter is making me reconsider. Lots of tension in not so many words and diffused even quicker. It's very subtle and focused.

Ah, dreams. The only setting in both fiction and reality where everything can and will be completely and utterly nonsensical, and there will be absolutely no call to think of anything as any more than just slightly out of the ordinary. Tricky to write well, but you did ok, since Sam was recanting the dream in past tense, you can't really nit pick.

Personally I like to have my dream scenes in the moment, whether past or present tense. I try not to mention that a dream has started or ended, to blur the borderlines of reality.

Anyway, good shit.

I was spooning Rose, and she was like a little furry heater.

>tfw you will never get to spoon a pony like that

6774812
>tfw no marefriend

Just kiss her already! Also, needs more mystified Luna looking around while wandering in and out of Sam's dreams. :derpytongue2:

6774812

"Are you my mommy?"
"Eeeeehhhhhh... Close enough."
"Yay!"

6774812 I bet he's watching MLP on that laptop. :twilightsheepish:

Well ive read every story that comes before this one.
Will read when its finshed. Really liking the concept of a woman in equestria rather than a guy.
I really enjoy all the thought you put into how the pony world works vs ours and how different things would be from a humans perspective. One thing though that always sticks out to me is this. Ponies are short, waist height or just above for the tops of their heads. The princess's would be almost the height of an average human. So with that in mind, wouldnt the human have to duck or be hunched over all the time when there in buildings. Also I would think ponies would get a crick in the neck having to look up all the time to talk to a human. The difference in height is one of the things that makes ponies rather adorable but something that seems to get glossed over a lot or only a passing mention. Most buildings that the princess's have been in (that I can recall) come rather close to the ceiling . Or like they might not fit through the door in some cases. Even if all the building where built to accommodate a princess it would still be a tight fit for a human, right? Granted human women tend to be shorter than men, but still thats what a foot or more taller then a pony. How tall is Sam anyway? And how do you figure for your stories how tall the ponies are? Or is it like the cartoons of old where height consistency doesnt exists and there as tall or short as the story requires.

6774041

New story! I might be biased, but great start!

:pinkiehappy:

Free Pony Hug! She totally did that on purpose, she's not really asleep.

Maybe. . .

I know you like extra spaces after .'s but for some reason on my screen it puts the Counting sheep onto the next line so its indented a space. Never seen that happen in your stories so I thought I would let you know.

I usually remember to control-F them out before I import the doc, to avoid that. I didn't remember this time. I'd like to learn not to double space after periods, but decades of writing have sorta ingrained it into me.

6774279

Personally I like to have my dream scenes in the moment, whether past or present tense. I try not to mention that a dream has started or ended, to blur the borderlines of reality.

I do third-person dream scenes in present tense, just to set them off from normal text. it's subtle enough that it isn't always obvious, yet the reader has a vague feeling that something isn't right. I didn't think that would work with the narrative style here, but perhaps I should have tried it. I always think of first person narration as if I'm sitting at the bar with someone who's telling me about this thing that just happened to them, which kinda affects how I write them. Blame Alistair MacLean for that.

6774930
media.giphy.com/media/10BaQrnrLYkJ3i/giphy.gif

6775259

Really liking the concept of a woman in equestria rather than a guy.

There aren't enough of them, in my opinion. You should check out the FiE group.

One thing though that always sticks out to me is this. Ponies are short, waist height or just above for the tops of their heads. The princess's would be almost the height of an average human. So with that in mind, wouldn't the human have to duck or be hunched over all the time when there in buildings. ... Most buildings that the princess's have been in (that I can recall) come rather close to the ceiling . Or like they might not fit through the door in some cases. Even if all the building were built to accommodate a princess it would still be a tight fit for a human, right?

You'd think so, and a lot of HiE stories do have that. However, a close watching of the show seems to indicate this isn't the case. Doorways are generally taller than they need to be, and beds are longer.

To save space, I'm just giving image links:
Fluttershy's front door
Sugarcube Corner front door
library front door
Apple house interior door (and bed)
Hospital room
Twilight's bed
Pie family bed

Admittedly, they aren't consistent in the show, but the general appearance of doors and interiors is that they're significantly taller than a pony. Maybe they build that way so pegasi can fly indoors, or else because they anticipate that the princess might show up as a guest. Perhaps they just don't like close ceilings.

Also I would think ponies would get a crick in the neck having to look up all the time to talk to a human.

If they were close, they probably would. But I'm not sure it would be that bad--Sam would be looking down slightly, and Rose would be looking up. Same thing if two people of different heights are talking, IMHO.

How tall is Sam anyway?

Between 5'5" and 5'10".

And how do you figure for your stories how tall the ponies are?

About 4' tall at the tips of the ears.

Or is it like the cartoons of old where height consistency doesn't exist and there as tall or short as the story requires.

I actually use models for scaling purposes. They guy's for a different story (I don't have a Sam action figure).

6774986

Just kiss her already!

Sam's not into girls, or mares. She said so herself.

Also, needs more mystified Luna looking around while wandering in and out of Sam's dreams.

There's not enough of that in HiEs. I ought to fix that one of these days.

"Are you my mommy?"
"Eeeeehhhhhh... Close enough."
"Yay!"

The thing that I'm curious about is how the foal got up there in the first place.

6776134

I always think of first person narration as if I'm sitting at the bar with someone who's telling me about this thing that just happened to them, which kinda affects how I write them.

That's like... totally the way they should be written. Love 'em that way. The tense change is interesting. I'll have to try that some time.

Honestly, with this chapter I'm surprised there's not a little Luna interlude. If anyone can understand that kind of isolation, it would be her. It's not the same on many levels, yes, but 1000 years must still be utterly jarring.

Your description of how Sam is viewing places or situations is really nice to read. I think that's what makes this series work so well for me. To use a cake comparison, your writing is a rich cake. There's plenty of flavor even in small bites.

If anything, that made it more awkward. Rose occupied an undefined space, something that all of humanity had no experience with, and it just kept gnawing at my mind.

Alondro floats down from the heavens and touches Sam's mind, transforming him into an enlightened furry who does not discriminate against creatures based on species! Such a progressive nature should be embraced, he reasons.

The next day... Sam runs around humping everything with legs... and some things without legs...

Alondro :facehoof: "I totally should have seen this coming. Yeah... yeah... this is my bad."

:trollestia:

6778079
You know, there are enough fics on this site already with a male protagonist who'll hump anypony he comes across. In so many ways, this is not one of those and never will be.

I could keep reading this for hours, wish there was more of these human/female/slice of life stories. Even if she isn't "into ponies/mares" it probably wouldn't be that out of place for her to give out a few non-mouth kisses, it's hardly uncommon (especially for girls) to give a few affectionate pecks on the cheek/neck/ear of their pets. But I can also see plenty of reasons for her to not do such a thing. Hope you keep writing this story!

6778126 A human with impulse control! :pinkiegasp:

Can such a thing truly exist?! :derpyderp2:

6778724
Well, I haven't assaulted any of my co-workers yet, so I'd say it's possible.

6777154

Honestly, with this chapter I'm surprised there's not a little Luna interlude.

It's possible at some point that Rose will chat with Luna, either awake or in her dreams.

6778062
Thank you!

6774264

Poor Sam, shes in a bit of a rough situation. I'm not certain that feeling of not belonging, stranger in a strange land and all that, will ever really go away.

I don't think it could. Even without the language barrier, and no matter how much she gets used to their culture, they're still entirely different species.

I like this bit and I want to say something about it. But I cannot get it quite right. Sam seems to be trying to rationalize sleeping with Rose. Is the fact that Rose isn't a human a problem? It seems like it may be for Sam. Does Sam feel like she has broken a taboo by getting so personal with Rose? Someone who for all intents and purposes is physically identical to an animal back home, or close enough at least. Is the drunkenness and sleepiness making her think things she doesn't really feel or are they bringing to the surface things she has buried in order to acclimate? I don't know and I don't think Sam does either.

It's a super-complicated thing to think over. Rose isn't a human, even if she mostly acts like one. She isn't an animal either; certainly, by every intellectual measure, she's a person. How do you reconcile that?

Answers would come when they came, and until then I’d just muddle along as well as I could and try not to think too much about things I couldn’t change.

Reminds me of the Serenity prayer.

It kind of does, doesn't it?

Regardless people are very good at ignoring things that keep us up at night. Whether it is the healthiest choice or not remains to be seen.

That's a question that probably can't be answered. There are both advantages and disadvantages to being able to take something and burying it deep down, but of course as often as not, those things come back to haunt you in the dark watches of the night.

Too many disagreements with how Sam has decided to handle things and a lack of excitement/discovery.

I'm going to spoiler this just for safety's sake.
One of the reasons it's so different from, say, CSI/OPP is because I didn't want to retell that story but with a female protagonist. Sam has been in Ponyville for some amount of time before the first story starts, and it's been enough to knock the amazement off of it. On top of that, the general population in this series hasn't gone out of their way to help her, and until recently has only regarded her as useful for manual labor that no pony particularly wants to do. She's clumsy with hoof-friendly tools, can't use magic, and isn't as strong as a pony. Plus, she (to them) seems kind of aloof, and she's always showing off by wearing clothes.

6778180

I could keep reading this for hours, wish there was more of these human/female/slice of life stories.

Me, too.

Even if she isn't "into ponies/mares" it probably wouldn't be that out of place for her to give out a few non-mouth kisses, it's hardly uncommon (especially for girls) to give a few affectionate pecks on the cheek/neck/ear of their pets.

It's something she might do without thinking, but if she has a moment to consider before doing it, she probably wouldn't. If she were from Quebec instead of BC, she'd be more likely to do it.

Hope you keep writing this story!

Fear not, chapters 2 and 3 are out to pre-readers already. Also, just in case you somehow missed it, there are three prequels. There's also a one-shot set sometime in the future: November.

Silly Sam, of course ponies aren't humans or animals, they're people! :pinkiehappy: at least, until the concept sticks, then they're just ponies. :trixieshiftleft:
Keep going! ;)

6779598

One of the reasons it's so different from, say, CSI/OPP is because I didn't want to retell that story but with a female protagonist.

That makes sense. Sam's stories just seem so disconnected to me. We often see where she is but not necessarily how she got there. The snapshot nature of it all makes it harder for me to get attached to Sam and Rose. They're growing on me though. Just a different sort of story.

she had her snout pointed right at the page, both ears locked forwards. If it weren't for the occasional flicks of her tail, she could have been a statue.

D'aww.

I wasn't really sure where the unicorns fit in the mix

Unicorns: They sit around and talk about doing stuff... though they don't actually get past that part usually.

Nice chapter. :twilightsmile:

I missed this story. I'm glad to see that you started it up again.

aCB

I love Sam and Rose stories. It's a real treat when one of them pops up in my feed. They're very serene slice of life stories, with just enough awkwardness and blushing to tease the shipping part of me.

Grazing society. lol. The thing with the sheep is an amazing bit of headcanon. I'll have to remember that one, Admiral. :raritywink:

Wiiiiii, another Sam&Rose story. I love them, fascinating and relaxing and they made me care about all the little important things.

I can't help reading this in ShadowOfCygnus' voice, and it's all the better for it.

I really like these stories, there's not much else to say other than you keep writing some of the best SoL in the site. :heart:

Yeah, it's annoying how uncomfortable it can be to read on flat ground.
It's also somewhat nice to just relax and read all day, you don't necessarily need to be active all the time.
Keep going! ;)

6783328
Twilight: What's on the agenda for today?
Rarity: Telling everypony how great we are.
Twilight: Are we going to do anything to show them?
The rest of the unicorns: Nah.
Twilight: Okay. Meeting adjourned.

6783874
Thank you! Going forward, there will be more installments.

6784388

They're very serene slice of life stories, with just enough awkwardness and blushing to tease the shipping part of me.

\
Thank you!

6784572

Grazing society. lol.

You know that's what they called their prehistoric society.

The thing with the sheep is an amazing bit of headcanon. I'll have to remember that one,

Feel free to use it. The sheep need more love.

6784748
Thank you!

6785441

I can't help reading this in ShadowOfCygnus' voice, and it's all the better for it.

I agree. He's got a marvelous voice. I'm sure at some point, he'll be doing a reading of this story, too.

I really like these stories, there's not much else to say other than you keep writing some of the best SoL in the site. :heart:

Thanks! I really enjoy that genre (as I'm sure you can tell).

6787647

Yeah, it's annoying how uncomfortable it can be to read on flat ground.

Agreed. Last time I was hanging out at a resort and trying to read, it was a problem.

It's also somewhat nice to just relax and read all day, you don't necessarily need to be active all the time.

Also totally true. I spent many hours as a child reading books. Still do.

Keep going! ;)

Fear not, I shall!

ponies probably had a better constitution

+4 con, -4 dex.

I was expecting Sam to use Rose as a pillow towards the end there.

6795158
In Pathfinder, horses have a CON of 21.

Speaking of Pathfinder, in our current campaign my character is trying to make his horse smart enough to talk. He (the horse) is already wearing a Helm of Intellect we got from a battle, and next time we're in town, I'm going to see about investing in another magic item to boost his intelligence.

6796360
That reminds me of the time I played a space alien in a very strange fantasy game. I spent much of my time talking to the paladins horse (who could understand me for some reason.) The paladin brushed her every day, fed her, and generally took care of her, clearly she was the one in charge.

What do you hope your horse says? Was the helm of intellect a custom make to fit a horse?

6796959

What do you hope your horse says?

I dunno. I just suddenly had the idea I wanted my horse to be smart, and have been contriving a way to make it so ever since. I'm also trying to get a unicorn to ride, but if I can make enough progress with my horse, I might not bother with the unicorn.

Was the helm of intellect a custom make to fit a horse?

No; our DM is nice and lets magical items fit whoever puts them on.

6797276
You need a helm of intellect with a horn.

6797340
I could tape on one. . . .

In one campaign, I had a horse I named "Fangorn the Destroyer," and I disguised it to look meaner. I rolled so well on disguise and intimidate checks, that over the course of the campaign the horse got a reputation. It was pretty awesome.

she wasn't a very fast reader

If she didn't doze off, Rose reads at my speed.

Nice chapter. :twilightsmile:

Do ponies make baskets? With a little bit of experimentation a pony basket weaver could probably make a decent pair of sandals.

There was a landing platform with people-sized paper airplanes, and as I watched, a man got into one of them and launched himself off into oblivion.

Did you, by any chance, play "A Bird Story"? :pinkiehappy:

If anything, that made it more awkward. Rose occupied an undefined space, something that all of humanity had no experience with, and it just kept gnawing at my mind.

Captain Kirk never had that problem :trollestia:

Well, that was nice. Let's see where you take it :yay:

Haha, Sam committed in deference to authority. Glad Cheerilee seems to have warmed up after her.... Impassioned speech.
Keep going! ;)

6797561

Well if this universe is similar to 'Celestia Sleeps in' / 'Onto the Pony Planet' then it's a bit unusual that Rose can read at all.

I'm not sure if that was covered / mentioned earlier or not.

It's educational.

You may say it's educational Cheerilee but I know of many people who will see it for the smut it is! This is ignoring the fact that a barbie-doll picture of a human would likely not be effective in . . . stimulating young impressionable pony minds.

I imagine that is why she reacted how she did when Sam first brought it up. That and the fact that Sam wears clothes more often than ponies may have led Cheerilee to suspect Sam would be offended.

This does bring up an interesting idea of how humans would handle teaching about the biology of other intelligent species in school. Most fiction I've read doesn't go much further than the dissection/vivisection of some lone specimen by government officials, followed by a clinical report for the bigwigs. How society and social mores would react is a neat idea. Most likely they wouldn't teach it in the general curriculum unless there was a need for it, out of sight out of mind.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!