• Member Since 19th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 43 minutes ago

Eddy13


A major fan of FlutterDash, comedy, adventure, and other MLP things.

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Trouble abounds on Hearts And Hooves Day when a mysterious creature begins draining all the romantic feelings out of any pony it comes across. Now, the Mane Six must stop it before it steals all the love in Equestria and conquers the country, while three of their number must protect their own feelings or risk losing their chance to get their special someponies.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 19 )

My attention is caught. Can't wait for the next chapter! :yay:

Interesting, I am quite curious as to see who the next victims are of these two...creatures. I guess I'll have to wait though.

6708739
Actually, Bon Bon and Lyra were victims of the same creature. I thought it was made clear by how it said 'them'. Guess I better be more specific.

6709034
Okay, I must've misread the story. My bad.

6708659
Thanks. Don't worry, the next chapter is in the works right now. Hopefully, I'll have it done soon.

Incidentally, can you help me get the word of this story out a little more? I'm surprised that the Lyra/BonBon shippers haven't been tearing into me for what I did to their favorite pairing.

6721281 Sure! I'll see what i can do.

Oooh..this is SO good

Need ships to target? Ok then let me just throw out a few.

Doctor Whooves/Time Turner and Derpy...that's always popular for reasons I still don't understand fully.

Fancy Pants and...that one Unicorn I can't remember the name to...I think it's Fluer or something like that...though they're always in Canterlot...I think...but they can be visiting for some arbitrary reason.

Twilight's parents Nightlight and Twilight ...Velvet or something like that...they can be visiting as well and have their long long marriage suddenly be effected.

Big Mac and the Teacher Cheerlie or something like that (i suck at names...I shouldn't be trying to do things at 5 A.M. with 2 hours of sleep under my belt) or one of the Pie Sisters if my recent memory is correct...though if Pinkie Pie is indeed related to Applejack and by extension Big Mac that would make the other pie sister related and then you're crossing into an area I don't think you want to go into.

Braeburn and...that one other stallion...Carmel I think if you want to do a M/M pairing.

Pinkie Pie and Weird Al...I mean...Cheese Sandwich since that's...again...for some reason popular or at least is gaining some kind of steam.

A CMC ship of some kind if you want to do it...

Of course the easiest thing to do is just make some throwaway OC characters for this purpose and then never again.

I'd say go deep and unprecedented and have the creature attack different kinds of love...like have it attack Applejack and her love of apples and applebucking (It is a kind of love afterall and a very strong one for Applejack) to give it a slight twist and make it more interesting.

OR...OR...if you REALLY wanted to go down the weird and bizarre...have it attack Fluttershy's animals and have them not love her or not love their mates or something to be really weird. Then you have something seriously heavy and bizarre on your hands that I'd greatly approve of lol.

6887333
I've already got an idea about Fancy Pants and the Big Mac/Cheerlie couple is one of the other appearances. However, I might take the Derpy/Time Turner one into consideration.

when I heard somepony rapping on my door.

I guess Cloudsdale has door to door rappers instead of door to door Christmas carolers?
More ships to attack?

Mr. and Mrs. Cake. A happily married couple right in sugar cube corner...perfect targets.

Thunderlane and...I don't know...pick a mare. I recently did him with Cloud Chaser in my most recent fic out of sheer randomness. ...then cut it later for reasons unbeknownst to me. I think Thunderlane is paired with her anyways...or maybe Blossomforth...or somebody. I'm not a Thunderlane fan so I wouldn't know.

Scootaloo and Rumble...because I've noticed a few fics with those two...FOR SOME REASON. or maybe Sweetie Belle and Button Mash as I swear I've seen a fic or two with them...then again there's a shipfic for every ship ever...period.

Still think yo need a M/M ship in there because fair is fair...if you have a F/F pairing I don't see why can't do a M/M pairing. Pick one...there's lots of them.
Still highly recommending Derpy/Time Turner because...why not?

You probably should throw SoarinFire in there and Dislestia in there because...why not? If you're desperate and you need ships...might as well lump them in there. Trust me, them coming in this story for almost no reason wouldn't really matter so you might as well go in full force.

By the way this was the worst chapter so far. Pointless history lesson from Fluttershy, stereotypical fluff letter from somepony that I'm SURE we won't see again, and just another attack scene. Basically the plot for this story has barely budged an inch with this chapter which is not a good thing in the grand scheme of things in my books.

6934358
Well, I suppose I could rewrite the ending scene where the flower trio feel the creature's affects. However, the scene with Fluttershy was emphasize that she has the same problem as Rainbow Dash, being unable to tell how she feels. Also, neither of them realize the other feels the same. And furthermore, who said that letter wouldn't be mentioned again in the future? While its significance looked like a way for Fluttershy to realize not to make the same mistake twice, how do we know that it won't be brought up again?

6934370

We will see it again. It's a narrative thing called "Chekhov's Gun."

"Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there." - Anton Chekhov.

Basically if you're going to reference something now in such a manner where it's important...then it's going to come into play later like near the end or something. And if it doesn't then there's no point to it and it should be removed.

I'm not saying the overall message of Fluttershy being nervous was the problem. The problem is the history lesson you give as if to list examples that we already know since we've seen the show. Even if we didn't see those particular episodes and just understood the character then we already know enough about her to know the typical problem she would have when it comes to romance. All it does is just waste space and reading time to get across stuff we already know. I don't need a refresher of Hurricane Fluttershy or Putting your Hoof Down. In fact it sort of dates everything since that stuff happened in Season 2 and we're going into Season 6 pretty soon. So it's almost like Fluttershy is referencing stuff that happened months ago or maybe even year or so ago. So referencing that feels weird if you're looking at it through a modern perspective.

Honestly the letter was the way it should've been from the start. Go into stuff we haven't seen or know about and don't waste time with background we already know about with a character we already understand. Sorry but that history lesson just overall bothers me and it's something I see in a lot of ship fics and I do not like it. It always feels like writers don't have confidence in how they portray the characters and have to give like Examples A and B to keep them grounded to the show to avoid OOC-ness.

I was neutral with this fic until this chapter and now I'm just a little cautious and weary for the next chapter. Because the plot barely budged with this one as I could summarize the important stuff in 10 words or less and it was too short to actually engage me. (4000 words from Chapter 2 to 2000 in Chapter 3 is a downgrade and doesn't give much to flesh out the story). I hope Chapter 4 changes me mind and puts everything back on trackk.

Flash... Sigh.

While you may be missing my TwiLuna ship, at least you have the rest so far..

SoarinFire is awesome btw :pinkiehappy:

I recommend Derpy/Time Turner and DisLestia plz. Luna to hit on Twi? More ships to attack, more ponies to band together.

Although Cele nearly catching this menace could also be fun. A way for the main 6 to get summoned?

I think the letter is from Dash btw :) So it totally would feature soon enough.

6936120
Well, the Mane Six are going to find out when this creature attacks somepony close to them.

I'm not giving away who Fluttershy's secret admirer is, but it being Rainbow Dash is within the realm of possibility.

Thanks for leaving comments. My confidence had taken a big hit this morning when I saw the story hadn't got a lot of views since I posted the last chapter. Any chance you can spread the word and find anyone who'd like to check it out?

Oh, and since you're not a FlashLight shipper, you may want to skim over the majority of the next chapter since it'll be revolving around that, but you might want to see the creature's next victim. It'll give more insight to the mystery of this fiend.

That son of a......!!!!! Draining love is cold.

Isn't Fancy Pants with Fleur?

7146023
I felt their relationship was sort of ambiguous.

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