• Member Since 10th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2019

Dragonfoxgirl


T
Source

Twilight is troubled by her new title and is constantly driving herself to sleep deprivation every night since her coronation. Princess Celestia is worried about her, so she sends a personal guard for her. Flash Sentry.
Cute moments, arguments, funny situations and romance are now in the life of the new princess. Until she is called to Canterlot because of a new threat to Equestria.
Oni Fire, a night pony devoted to his princess of the night. Twilight, Flash and White Fur will discover the key to defeat their enemies.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 143 )

You misspelled ancient in your description. I figured someone else would nitpick that. Can't wait to read it, sounds neat. :twilightsmile:

Um I literally have no idea what happened. I like your initial idea, but I cannot see where you are going with this... Also in your authors note it's wrote not write. In your first sentence or second- whatever...- I noticed how her body 'screamed' for rest? I would recommend using a word like moaned or begged, because when I usually hear when something's body 'screams' it's because they have been running very hard. Uhm are the bold letters thoughts or something? Is this looking back on a memory or something? If its normal dialogue you would do it like, "this," he said. That's what had really confused me. You also don't seem to be consistent with you spacing and you aren't indenting. If you would like me to edit your story for you, to go over the grammar and spelling errors, and to 'smooth out' some of the awkward phrases, I would be moe than willing to (usually...). All you have to do is message me and I will probably respond within a day.

2808936
wow... so all I have to do is send you my story and you can fix it?? I tried to write it the best I could, since spanish is my natural language it is kind of hard for me to write in english.

And yes, I would love your help.

2809007 wow, Spanish? I'm impressed really, your a lot better at English then French is to me... Hehehe. Yeah don't worry if that confuses you it confuses me too...

2808918 thanks I got the wheat god to fix up my story a little XD

2809054 Great! Welcome, just looking out for my fellow fic writers. :raritywink:

I love this so much :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:
But, one thing.

The Pegasus smiled warmly and placed her in his back,

Wouldn't that hurt??:unsuresweetie::unsuresweetie::unsuresweetie:

2809195 I'm sorry I'm thinking of a glitch that happens in MMD.:twilightoops:
Did she go through his body into his back or something???:rainbowhuh:
It's probably just my derpy mind derping around with the words :derpytongue2:

I cant believe its your first time typing in English! You wowed me! :derpyderp2:

You should add another chapter or something, I like this story, I need more! :fluttercry:

Very cute I loved reading this! Hope you continue!:twilightsmile:

The bold is a little confusing - quotations are more normally used for dialogue - however the idea is somewhat cute and has... promise, though I will admit I have no idea where it will go. I'll give it a like and a read later for now.

2809366 Corrected by http://www.fimfiction.net/user/The+Wheat+God

sorry ... english is not my native language...... XD:twilightsheepish:

2809206 well I pictured it this way, he was holding her and then carried her in his back

I like the idea, it could be good. =3
So... another latin author... Ola k ace XD echale ganas no te dejes intimidar ;)

2809492 ufff poder escribir en español es mucho mas comodo LOOOOOOL gracias a una buena ayuda de parte de the wheat god, mi primer mlp fim fic esta herrrrmoso, jajaja me alegra que te guste :twilightsmile:

2809465 :derpytongue2: woops! Sorry my english has never been so good. My eyes derped me.:derpytongue2: I so used to Italian it kills me :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

i finished the equestria girls movie just today and i am anxious to see what happens! you have my favorite :3:twilightsmile:

Nooooo! I can see more errors! I shouldn't have been doing this at 1 am... 5 points to whoever can find them all!

Well, you got my attention and a fav to your story because I wanna see what happens next. :)

Expect teasing from her friends.

i hope another chapter gets written soon. this is awesome

Sorry to hear about your phone, I can imagine that must really stink. Hope to see more of this story soon though!:twilightsmile:

2825829 thanks.... oh! I love your profile pic, is that fluttershy´s and big mac´s filly?

2825919 thanks for your support... chapter 3 will be coming in two days max... sorry about the errors though:twilightblush: :facehoof::facehoof:

2825927 lol nope Pink Pearl Apple is applejack and flam's kid. she's a unicorn

Aww I liked this chapter it's so sweet!:twilightsmile:

Awww, sweet! Love the picture too :twilightsmile:
The rating is lower than it should be only because of it being Flashlight, trust me.

2827245 i´m glad you liked my story. and yes... it could be the pairing. congrats on making it to the front page!!!!

2827664 Thanks bud. I'm a little nervous now that I have such a huge following on the story though. There's a lot of pressure on me to get good chapters out.

Comment posted by Somebody deleted Jul 5th, 2013

i wonder have pinkie tasted ice cream cake ? :pinkiegasp::pinkiesmile:

“Letting the whole princess and guard relationship boundaries aside, you ARE my friend, a friend that has nothing a pony needs; I will not let my guard sleep on a blanket in an empty room no more”

No more is bad grammar, should be any more:twilightoops:

Only to Twilight could a lack of studying be a punishment. :twilightsheepish:

Raven: Like most, if not all, stories we've seen so far, it's good, but could use some improvement. And what the hay's with everypony and cider being wine's equivalent? Doesn't anypony remember in Best Night Ever, Spike was having some sort of hot chocolate drink with a doughnut in it, implying that's alcohol's equivalent?

Dr. X: I could not agree more.

“So… what are we going to do today?,a trip to sugar cube corner?, adventure with Zekora at the Everfree forest?.”

:facehoof:
It goes more like this:

"So... what are we gonna do today? A trip to sugarcube corner? Adventure with Zecora at the Everfree forest?"

youthleaderstash.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/there-i-fixed-it.jpg

Actually I wrote it two days ago, but my co/worker did not respond to my e/mail yet.

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_matavfuYEH1rpfz4uo1_500.gif
Again, it goes like this:

Actually, I wrote it two days ago, but my co-worker didn't respond to my e-mail yet.

Please don't make another mistake. memelinks.com/im-watching-you.gif

flying in to a storm while replaying his favorite songs in his head to gain power and control over his wings to surpass the tornados and thunders

I was listening to Loyalty, by MandoPony while reading this sentence. Matches perfect with imagining that happening.

You scared me to hard princess, I forgot protocol

:flutterrage:
ARE YOU KIDDING!? IT GOES LIKE THIS:

You scared me so hard princess, that I forgot protocol

for crying out loud, your making me go crazy! media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll946toGc61qafrh6.gif
soon, I may become this: 2.bp.blogspot.com/-abjReXktei8/T3zRQ4iR4JI/AAAAAAAADHQ/Ch5g6CJqIxM/s400/Grammar_Nazis____The_Motivator_by_ZlayaHozyayka.jpg
I don't want to be that! :fluttercry:

2895608
:facehoof:
I can let pointing out mistakes in someone's story in the comment section pass. After all, if it's not for my story then who am I to dislike it?
Being a jerk about it, though, is not cool at all. There are better ways of pointing out mistakes, as opposed to rude images.

TL;DR tone it down dood.

2973832
That wasn't a misspelling. It's supposed to be "dood."
It's a reference to the Disgaea video game franchise.

Write more before I die. :applecry: Btw, The grammar isn't horrible, but you could use a better editor. (no offense to your co worker)

2991444 I only got help for the first chapter. The rest is all me.

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