• Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 15 minutes ago

KnightMysterio


I am the Storm Scribe. Let my words thunder across all creation! Let my imagination rain down and bring life to new worlds and adventures. Above all else, may you enjoy what meager gifts I bring...

Comments ( 19 )

....please, tell me there was an origin story for this... THING. You just made me want to do some research on this thing.

First thought: WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CKING HELL?

Second thought: Where did the idea for this even come from?

Was the Shyamalan twist with Apple Bloom really needed?

Having it all be in Applejack's head was good enough.

Even if Big Mac's suicide felt like an plot device to kick the story off.

Or it's some evil that parasitically feeds off of delusions and despair.

At any rate, I have to say I honestly don't care much for these kinds of stories.

6565087 You don't understand...Obviously, this thing, whatever it was, got to Big Mac and nobody had any clue.

6565205

That's what I meant by the parasite thing dude.

6565087 Says the guy who basically CREATED a thing that's pretty damn similar to this parasite.

that was disturbing shit o_0
. . .
BUT AMAZING :DD

6566133 Retgone Wolf ring a bell?

6566134

That was an anti-Mary Sue creature, or to eliminate inconsistencies in the world. Also, it was directly inspired by the Dahaka from Prince of Persia. And how after a slew of my edits on some wikis once were erased, I got the feeling of something following me, erasing all traces of my existence. If Applejack was seeing traces of HERSELF begin to vanish, then I'd see the connection.

6566203 First off: She was seeing traces of her own PAST vanishing therefore parts of her old life were vanishing.

Second off: I am surprised you actually REMEMBER the Dahaka. Barely anyone I talk to does. That's kinda cool actually.

6566212 If he doesn't like then he doesn't like it. I'm not offended.

6566387 Very well.

6566203 I would like to apologize for the way I acted towards you. I was just worried about my good friend Knight. That's all.

I'm of the mind that this story is reaching a little too far with what it wants to do. I didn't feel what was going on had its owned defined set of rules and things kept happening just to keep the audience off balance. For instance the creature seemed to be able to both rewrite reality, and hide what it does from others. Well if it can rewrite reality it doesn't need to hide it from others.

It just didn't feel scary. The idea of slowly watching pieces of your life fall away is a nice bit of existential horror that can make people do terrible things. The scope of this thing felt far too broad and undefined. Not showing the monster is rule number one in horror, but this thing could do whatever it wanted at any time. I don't feel invested if I know my opponent has a Xantos Gambit going and will win no matter what. This is contrasted by Applejack struggling to fight against it, but again, the creature's powers are far too broad to make anything she does capable of fixing anything. The only thing she could do was fight against this thing, which we as the audience kept seeing was inarguably futile.

I keep quoting things from other things, but I need to do it again. Bane was right; you need the hope of success to make failure all the more depressing. I knew how this was going to end. The monster wasn't defined, but its powers weren't, and by extension there could only be one ending to this. If I know how it's going to end, to me it's not scary.

6566817 I will try and keep this in mind in future attempts to write horror stories. Thank you for the constructive criticism.

This is some Edgar Allan Poe shit right here....
And i love it! :pinkiecrazy:

Hmm... Seems like the white noise that people would randomly hear all across the world...

Big Mac must have committed suicide for the same reason, but it never mentioned him ever having a psychotic breakdown like Applejack's... weird.

So good though. I love it.

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