• Member Since 8th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 30th, 2015

CelestialScribe


T

Our lovably grim Max Payne is sent on a one-way journey to Equestria via bullet express.

Pretty sure I can't fill it with metaphors like Max would, but I can sure as hay try!
Rated teen for light violence, swearing and alcohol/drug use. Occasionally dark.

A (hopefully) more comedic, lighter outlook on: Payne-full Realization -who beat me to it!

Okay, it is very psychologically dark! This is Max we're talking about.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 147 )

Wow, amazing. You captured Max's personality perfectly. I know the other guy made something like this a week ago, but yours is also definitely very good. Liked and faved. Keep it up. :pinkiehappy:

"Ponyville. Suddenly, the thoughts of my short-lived family were back. It was like something out of a children's book. I'd never have the privilege of being able to tell my daughter of a land like this."

Yet another example of capturing the personality. Too little, too late, in a bad twist of bewildered misfortune. Sounds like the kind of thing you would expect from a Max Payne-related story. Wonderful.

had a smile the whole way through.:pinkiehappy:

Strange but very well done

Some people don't seem to appreciate Max Payne. Oh, boo. Just keep at it, dude. You've got a nice première.

654938
They aren't reading it with a Max voice-over, it makes it at least 20% cooler. Thanks for reading though and I'm glad people are enjoying it!

655109

Hah, dude, I read those lines in Max's voice and they were hilarious! Like when he met Pinkie Pie and was confused (in his own unique way :twilightsheepish:). Very funny. :rainbowlaugh:

655122
Believe me when I say, even though I don't think I'm very good at writing Pinkie, she is going to be heavily involved in this! :pinkiecrazy:

amazing...just amazing
you get a like and favorite from me buddy:ajsmug:

Hmmm! This version is shorter but it details Max Payne's personality better, as I know him from Max Payne 1 and 2 (I don't know 3 yet).

I hope you continue and don't be a slacker like myself please!

655933
Yeah, I have that problem with initial chapters, they're always a bit on the short side. I aim for at least 3,000 in each of the next but, for the love of God, DON'T HOLD ME TO THAT! :trollestia:

655965

I ain't holding you on anything! Just take your time, focus and write us a very good and enjoyable story!

655980
With fans like this, I aim to please! Thanks!

Damn! I thought I was being original with my Max Payne story. Well, we'll just see who can make the better story, won't we?

You really wrote Max very wonderfully. You are embodying his character marvelously. I couldn't help but feel a spark of sadness from his line about his daughter. Keep up the good work. :pinkiehappy:

if only i knew who max pain was:pinkiehappy:

I don't usually like humans in equestria, but this is pretty well done.

656117

Three-way Max Payne in Equestria fight? You're on. :rainbowdetermined2:

I kinda want to read it, but I don't want to take any ideas from you and use them. Going off the Comments you've got more of a Max Payne/Max Payne 2 vibe. Whereas I'm full on Max Payne 3. Two different takes on the same thing. I like that. :twilightsmile:

657591
*Takes a painkiller* :pinkiesick: Let's do this!
Well, so far it's just Max being Max- complaining and moaning about his awful life with a bit of hospital related stuff; I think you might be safe with the first one, haha.

I can't say I'm surprised by it. All it takes is one good idea and that sparks people's interests and their own ideas and twists with the concept. :twilightsmile:

Look at how many Conversion Stories, Fallout, even Resident Evil...one of my old staple-marked favorite's has been done to a rediculous amount.

Does that make them all bad? No, it allows them to keep going...to branch off to become their own unique story. They all have a place...I'm more surprised that there are three Max Payne stories instead of two...two I expected. That third one seems to have blindsided both of us. :twilightoops:

The only reason I read this?

"Our lovably grim Max Payne is sent on a one-way journey to Equestria via bullet express."

Dunno why, but I fell apart laughing. Damn adrenaline/

Better than the other one.:pinkiesmile:

I have a burning question: How the bloody hell does he get from having a gun pointed at his head and making peace with the fact that they are about to kill him to landing in Equastria?

659958
For all you know he could be in a coma having these delusions in Brazil. Or this is some weird version of Heaven for Max. It's not... but still. :derpytongue2:
How do any writers of HiE fics justify the characters ending up there? This was my quick method of getting it out the way. Though I haven't read it, the Grand Theft Auto one lands Niko in Equestria due to an accident, if I recall. I didn't want to create some epic story of arriving there to overshadow actually being there. (Partly because I probably couldn't.)

TL;DR: I'm lazy.

This was one damn elaborate drug trip.

:rainbowlaugh: Oh Max, you have no idea.

Great story bro! cant wait for the next chapter!!!

Yes... a drug trip... that makes absolutely perfect sense.

"This was one damn elaborate drug trip."

You don't know the half of it, Max. :rainbowlaugh:

Drug trip with magical ponies.
So Awesome!!!!!:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

I feel slightly bad for Max :fluttercry:, but still he's coping better than I thought he might especially with a hangover :pinkiesick: can't wait for the next chapter

puu.sh/xhxr

I PlateY Max Payne, And Max Payne 2, I Understand A Lot Of Max Character, I Love It

659999
Is this fic you mentioned (GTA one) somewhere on this site? Can't find it. Link will be appreciated.

Thumb Up, Tracking. Good fic so far.
Let the best MP story win.

And Then Max Got Wasted So Hard

731640Nope.He Complained like hell that the drinks went strong enough thus he went on a killing spree and everypony died,the end.
Spongebob:That didnt help at allll.

Love it as always!:twilightsmile:

Please, please please don't have Max become an alcoholic again.

Other than that, good stuff. The story is put together well, the wordings constant, still hard bolied detective stuff, but you need to slap in a few more metaphors. Story could be longer, but it's all good.

732325
Thank you for that awesome feedback!
Yeah, don't worry, Max isn't into the alcohol much, but he'll ask for some next chapter. Painkillers on the other hand...
Therapist Twilight and rehab doctor Pinkie will come in handy.

Interesting read so far. Wish it could be longer, but that's just me :twilightblush:. Anyway your personality on Max is spot on, and so far I can definitely see him acting this way if he ended up in Equestria. So far no complaints, just got to say please don't let him become good buddies with the main six too quick. This is Max we're talking about, who doesn't like forming relationships with people in general because of the stuff he's been through.

732906
Yeah, I'm hoping to avoid that. If there was a motel, he'd be barred up alone in it. But he abides by laws and whatnot so when something in a crown tells him to do something, there isn't much else he has planned, i.e, stuck in Twilight's. Hopefully so far I have him disconnected enough that he is really going to hate this surprise. Apart from a certain piece. Thanks for the comment! :scootangel:

Once again, good chapter. You managed to capture Max's personality very well and his usual metaphoric dialogue is funny as ever. Good stuff. :pinkiesmile:

732529
I don't mean to pry into the story much, but did you have a chance to look at the free-to-read companion graphic novel "Max Payne: After the Fall" yet, CS? It'll give insight into Max beyond the game and his official upbringing story: http://www.rockstargames.com/maxpayne3/comics

Or perhaps maybe he lied to Twilight so he could protect her from his real past? Maybe you could pick up something from the comics to use in story?

735655
Oh, I just made something up. There's an actual thing? Awesome, I'll check that out, thanks! The whole 'parents' thing was filler, I'll be focusing on his wife more.

Max Is Perfect It Feels So Natural His Mood, His Personality

I was hopping that Max would find a piano and play the music instead of Octavia but o well.

Sooner or later Max will find some booze, then the real party shall start :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

bring in the drugies

:pinkiecrazy:

need i say more?

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