//------------------------------// // Tolerance // Story: Max Payne Stumbles Into Equestria // by CelestialScribe //------------------------------// The walk to Twilight's house was a strange one. Even though I was immensely different to this species, hell, this universe, I wasn't exactly receiving the aura of hate I usually got when I went somewhere new. While I did get a few stares and screams initially, when they saw I was relatively peaceful, I was accepted just like that. By now I should have been mugged, verbally abused and beaten for entering some 'territory' I had failed to research belonging to the latest gang. We walked slowly as I shadowed my eyes to take in the sights. The sun was beating down relentlessly, unwavering to my inner torment as I began piling on the layers of sweat, converting my tank-top to a darker colour. Not even five minutes walking. I suppose a bullet to the head'll do that to you. This was about as rural as a town could get. Plenty of farmland surroundings, isolated by greenery and cut off from the rest of 'Equestria'. It seemed for the best, until I could figure out a plan of action, I just wanted some quiet. Hopefully the promise of a lack of media attention would stand, because I sure wouldn't for it. We passed countless ponies who shared a similar lifestyle to humans. Shops, couples, parks; all in a pleasant, if cliché, environment. Were it not for my cynical view of the world I might be tempted to call this place idyllic. The very air cleared some remaining haziness that the painkillers could not. It was pointless to raise any queries I had about the impossibility of this to Twilight, or, in fact, anyone, as they didn't know. For now I was going to live in blissful ignorance and obliviousness of what strange power brought me here. Twilight occasionally paused so I could catch up, I must have seemed elderly given my current pace. I was unsure whether it was out of my admiration for the town, my laziness, or actually being old, but I couldn't help but take a snail's stride with each step over the mix of cobble and grass paths. A few minutes and several gallons of sweat later, we arrived at a tree re-modelled into a house. It was hollowed out, scattering it were multiple windows and, impaling the top of the leaves, was another window leading out to a balcony. I never had a tree-house as a kid, and now here I was in front of a literal tree house. Time sure doesn't wait for anybody. One day you're an ex-cop battling inner demons, addictions and gangsters, the other you're inducted into a magical land of talking ponies. Tomato, to-mah-to. Entering the actual structure gave way to some more astonishment. I should have guessed from the book sign out front, but it was a library. It couldn't get much duller than that, which was perfect for myself. Rows and rows of books lined the inside of the bark walls, and a couple of tables gave way to a overall relaxing feeling when the door was closed. I wouldn't exactly call it a sanctuary, but it had a mellow mood emanating from the simple furnishings. "Spike! I need to introduce you to someone!" Twilight called out to up the stairs. Great, so she had a pet. Sounded like a dog, I didn't know whether I could tolerate animals. A thump, followed by a brief pattering of slow, what I assumed to be, paws echoed through the hollow tree before it appeared at the top of the stairs. Our faces shared the same expression of confusion, our lips threatening to let loose a 'what the hell is that?' Or maybe that was just me, as the... thing, spoke first from atop the stairs. "Erm... hey?" It half-said, half-asked in a young-sounding male voice as it raised a claw. It was some sort of over-sized lizard, purple and green-scaled. It also looked a bit chubby, but I couldn't talk. Without looking down I could tell that my own stomach was assaulting the ruined jeans. I responded in my own questioning, low tone. "Hello?" I offered my own hand up in greeting. "Well that was easier than I thought it'd be," Twilight said, pleased. "Spike, this is Max. He's going to be staying with us for a while. He's a human and we have no idea how he got here, so I'm studying him for the princess." In about five seconds she summed up my entire life here. "...Right," The thing said simply. "I thought they were myths?" "Apparently not," Twilight replied. The thing seemed content with the explanation, but I still had yet to find out whatever it was. "...So, what are you?" I asked, and the thing started smiling as he spoke, puffing out his chest and flexing. "I'm a dragon!" At this point I wasn't too shocked. Maybe the fact that these didn't actually exist was a bit more surprising, but then again... unicorns. I didn't really think too hard on the subject. Still, he was a lot smaller than I imagined a dragon. "A baby dragon," Twilight corrected. That's why. You can have pet dragons in Equestria. They'd probably come in handy against enemy squads. A bit more effective than an attack dog. Once more, however, he didn't look like the aggressive type. Twilight inquired further, "Do you have dragons in the human world?" "Sort-of. They're myths." Like me I suppose. I wonder what else this world has to offer. Next there'll be half lion, half eagle punk-kids. "Interesting," Twilight said. "Oh well, do you need anything?" Honestly, no. Just a sit down, but I noticed a lack of chairs. So instead I opted for some seclusion. "A bathroom?" I wondered if the toilets were specially made for ponies, I can't think why they wouldn't be though. "Oh, sure, it's up the stairs and to the right," Twilight said as she gathered bits of stationary. I followed the directions and went up to where Spike was still standing. Being smaller than the ponies meant I was statuesque in comparison, I was almost hitting my head on the roof. Nodding to him as I walked past, I spotted the bathroom door. Ducking under the door, I entered the incredibly clean bathroom. The toilets were, in fact, the same. There was a mirror at about chest height, which also acted as a toiletries cabinet. Unfortunately, it appeared Twilight was healthy, I could find no painkillers. I had several left in the doctor's bottle I stole, but I knew they would soon be diminished. I walked up to the mirror and stared at my aged face and balding head. Now that I wasn't a wanted man, I guess I could grow it back. I ran some of the tap water and washed my face with it, avoiding the bandage that was covering the healed infection. I breathed deeply and looked over myself. I really needed some new clothes. The tank-top was falling apart, holes and loose threads all over it, while the jeans had lost all of their colour. I was curious to see if I could get a custom-made human jacket. I felt able to, if not take on the day, cope with the day. As a precaution, I told myself, I took another painkiller and slipped the bottle back in my jeans. My respite from 'paradise' ended, and I headed back out and down the stairs, where Twilight was patiently waiting with a quill and paper. Adorning her head was a pair of glasses, and she looked at me intently before asking, "Are you ready to start?" Thinking she would start the investigation into what it means to be a human, I feigned ignorance. "Start what?" "Some questions about your life. While it may be interesting for myself personally, I don't want to disappoint the princess. Anything that gives us more clues about..." She thought to herself, "...Humanity, I think that's the right word." I seriously doubted that either of us would enjoy me talking about my life. 'Some questions' could have meant two or sixteen. I decided to play along for now, while eventually unavoidable, I hoped to prolong any emotional details. "Fine." I scanned the floor, but it showed that I would have to sit on a red pillow like Twilight was. I sat down, exercising my over-worked back. Sitting cross legged, I felt like a disruptive second-grader who had been given a time-out. My mental state fitted that image. Determining that the seating position was uncomfortable, I instead moved the pillow and rested my head on it as I lay on my back. I looked up to the natural tree patterns on the ceiling. I wasn't going to be able to get up easily from this position, but for now, I didn't care. "Hmm, I didn't actually have anything planned," Twilight said. "I guess questions'll be made up as we go along." Fun. "Hmm, family? Any brothers or sisters? What were your parents like?" This was most certainly not going to be enjoyable. "I never knew my father. My mother died several years after I graduated police academy. No brothers or sisters. Next." I didn't need to turn away from the ceiling to tell Twilight was reluctant to delve further. "Oh, s-sorry. What about, like, a fiancée or spouse?" "Next." There was a few moments of pause, and I heard Twilight scribble something down. Analysing my psychological profile, this might actually be a good read. The ceiling patterns joined and twirled in the centre. "...Oh, let's move on to something simpler then. What about... music? Do you like this..." She asked herself, "what's it called again? Dubstep! Are you a fan of that?" "What the hell is that?" They must of had different genres of music in Equestria. "It's like, electro, but not. It's really bass-y." "That sounds awful, I hate techno-crap." "That's understandable," Twilight said, and for a moment we shared the same sentiment. "What about... strings or orchestral pieces?" I couldn't lie, I actually enjoyed those. The soothing tranquillity they brought was a much-welcome addition to life. They spoke in emotions, not notes. "Yeah. Piano and violin sort of stuff... yeah. Sombre music." What a downer I was. Twilight wrote some more notes, and I was slightly more at ease. If it stayed at subjects like this, I could deal with it. That's when she decided to ruin that chance. "Err, you said a 'police academy'? Tell me about that. It sounds like an important part of human life." "Only for those who choose it to be. It's training to become an officer who... protects people from crime. I was terrible at it. I knew the minimum police procedures. But I was damn good with a gun." "A gun?" Damn it, not this again. I thought about it for a few seconds. "A tool used to inflict damage to another person via a projectile fired with a propellant." That was about as technical as I would ever get. I think I heard Twilight attempting to sketch one. "Do... a lot of humans have guns?" "Yeah." I was painting a good picture for humanity. I tried to amend it partly, but I didn't put much effort into it. "They're designed to... help." Wow, looking back on it, a great job they did of fucking that up. A few more scribbles, a few more reasons why I shouldn't be trusted. With the increasing awkwardness between our two species embarrassing us both, we both needed a break. My itchy, crumbling tank-top would prove a valuable excuse to stop answering questions for a while. "Is there anywhere I can buy some new clothes? Custom-made?" I asked as I rose to a sitting-up position. Twilight glanced up from her writings to answer. "Oh, er, well I don't know any human speciality clothing stores, but Rarity could probably make something." "I'm going to head there, then." "B-but, the..." Twilight stuttered, eager to ask more questions. Ultimately though, I guessed I was in control. She didn't seem the type to force me into answering. "Oh... ok. I'll take you there anyway." The 'Carousel Boutique', as Twilight called it, was an easily recognizable building. Much like the name suggests, it was similar to a carousel, it even had some cut-out horses near the roof. Apparently the owner was a friend of hers, and I had the sinking feeling that I would be forced to meet more of them. On the short walk there the reaction was about as usual from passers-by: casual. More or less. It was hard to understand why I was accepted so easily, this couldn't of been a usual occurrence. Twilight went first and rang the doorbell to the clothing store. A female voice called out in a singing tone, "Co-ming!" I had the opinion she was going to get more than she bargained for. The door opened, revealing a white unicorn with a curled, purple mane. From the look on her face, she was more confused than scared, tilting her head to the side as she took notice of me in all my dirty, pathetic glory. "Um... Twilight? What did you do now?" She said in a sophisticated voice. I wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed by the fact that a pony had more class than I did. "Oh, no, no! I didn't mess up a spell this time!" "Good, you're still paying off that hospital debt for Featherweight, remember?" I was becoming worried of my studier's capabilities. Maybe she had more power over me than I thought. "Let's not go there. Anyway, this is Max. Pinkie found him hurt at the edge of the Everfree. Princess Celestia has assigned me to find out more about him." "I... see. Pinkie said something about that. You are much taller than I imagined. Well, I suppose it isn't the strangest thing to happen around here." Her face took a lighter stance. "Well, I am Rarity, a pleasure to meet you, Max." She nodded her head. Clearly, she wasn't expecting a response, eyes going wide when I spoke, "Er, sure. Same." "Y-you speak Equestrian?" "English. But, yeah, I guess." "Ah, strange. Oh, well, what brings you two here today?" "Max, actually. He was wondering whether he could get some new clothes," Twilight offered. It was a double-edged sword having someone speak for me. In one way, I didn't have to talk to anyone, in another, I looked like I was mentally-disabled. Fair enough, actually, I was still deciding that myself. Rarity regarded my appearance, and, from the way her nose flinched, smell. I was on a forest floor for a few hours. Pony baths were probably smaller than human ones, I can't wait to see how that'd turn out. She studied the arms and legs, plainly different from pony clothing needs. "I... think I could whip something up. Come in, come in," Rarity said happily. Twilight glanced back in the direction of her library. "Oh, I can't, I have the... thing... at the place." She made some head gestures which I couldn't be bothered to investigate further. Rarity caught on quick. "Oh! Yes, yes, Pinkie told me..." She said to herself. "I'll see you there later then, yes?" "Yep, thanks Rarity," Twilight said as they both started going their separate ways. Before I had the chance to follow Rarity inside, Twilight whispered me over. I, like a sloth, lethargically moved my way the short distance. Twilight passed me a small sack containing a bundle of gold coins. "Here, no matter what she says, insist on paying her. I have no idea how she manages to stay afloat with all of the freebies she gives everypony." There it was again, 'everypony'. Something about that annoyed me. 'Everyone' was a human word, this was openly copied from us, yet they had no idea of our existence? Maybe they could say the same about us, but ponies, non-magical ones, actually existed. In danger of too much thinking, I gave up. "Ok, I'll get it to her." "Thanks, I'll see you back at the library, ok?" "Yeah." I headed back into the boutique. In America I wouldn't be caught dead in one and, in Brazil, I doubted they existed. The name alone would arise suspicions of my sexuality. I briefly wondered why that was, why I'm so accustomed to judgemental people, prejudice and discrimination. I wasn't smart enough to figure it out, so I gave up at the first hurdle. The inside of the boutique sparkled before my eyes. Mirrors decorated near-every side of the walls, encapsulating the glow of the vibrant, purple flooring and shine of the assortments of fabrics. Pony mannequins were standing randomly around the circular main room, wearing a range of simple fabrics to full-blown sequinned dresses. "So, what do you think of my business?" She asked. "It's, er, very shiny." It would have been acceptable to wear sunglasses in here. "Messy as well, isn't it?" I had no idea why I was being so bold. I half-expected her to stab me with her horn. She certainly looked like someone who took pride in their work. Instead, she just gave a friendly scoff. "Everypony calls it that. No-one ever listens to the 'organised chaos' argument." Organised chaos. I liked that. It would be a good excuse for when I eventually fill up Twilight's house with alcohol. Rarity collected several bits of designing equipment and measuring equipment, as well as a pair of red glasses. "Would you mind standing on that, please?" She pointed towards a pedestal flanked by mirrors for observing the new outfits. I followed and achingly stepped up on to it, where she proceeded to measure my arms, legs, torso. "Do you have any preferences? A coat, shirts, fleeces?" The suggestion of a fleece nearly made me start sweating again. "A jacket?" I responded. "Black with a white shirt underneath. And some pants, anything really, if you can?" "You have obviously never met me. There is no fashion challenge I can't handle." She immediately set out searching for appropriate materials and sewing equipment, and I was able to step off of the pedestal. Finding the necessary equipment with her magic horn, she began working on the sewing machine. It looked like it would be a wool jacket, the darkened fabrics going under the machine an at an alarming pace returning in neat sections and shapes. It was too hot to wear it straight away, but that's what the shirt was for. "So... Max, where did you come from?" She suddenly asked while working. I forgot that she didn't know that I was human. It was limited knowledge around here, apparently. "Earth, the human world." It felt stupid to be saying that, like I was acting in some sort of science-fiction movie. "What's it like there?" "A lot like here, it seems." Minus the crime, cars, humans and lack of magic. "Do you remember how you got here?" She asked, still focused on the task at hand. Actually, hoof, I guess. What the hell was I doing making puns? "Not exactly. The last thing I remember is being killed." The revelation momentarily stopped the sewing machine and grasp of her magic as she gasped. "Oh my! How did- wha-..." She was at a loss for words just like everyone else was. I doubted we'd find out anytime soon. "I'm not quite sure what else to say but... sorry. This must be dreadfully confusing for you." I sat on the edge of the pedestal, staring at the floor. All the answers usually came to me in time, whatever the subject was, now though? It looked unlikely. About half an hour passed, I could see the sun slowly sink into the hills outside, when Rarity requested something. "Erm, Max? This is going to sound strange... bear with me here... could you please stand like a pony?" God damn it. "On all fours?" "Yes, I need to properly determine the difference between a pony's leg area and a human's. Sorry about this." Sorely standing up from my seat, I stretched my back slightly and went to the floor. I held myself up in a press-up position, already throbbing with pain. Without the adrenaline of a fire-fight to keep me mobile, I was a complete wreck. Seeing my struggle, Rarity measured my legs as fast as she was able, and observed that they came straight down from the spine. No ninety degree angled legs like a pony. "Alright, that's all I need." She said, "Do you need any help up?" Yes. "No." I fell to the ground, turned over and lay on my back. "I'll be fine here for now." I was really this vulnerable? If only my enemies could see me now. Surviving all of them just to be taken down by crippling age. Maybe it was because it was the only exercise I had which didn't involve me dodging bullets. I made it look so much easier when it was required, now, I could be as slow as my body wanted. Another half hour and snippets of small talk later, she had finished. I was still on the floor. The carpets were surprisingly comfortable. I sat up as she brought the items to me, along with a small glass bottle floating in her magic. "Here you go, all done!" I stood up and took the clothes, but stared at the bottle. "It's called cologne." I humoured her, and myself, pretending I didn't know what it was. "What does it do?" I could see her attempt to form a less insulting sentence in her mind than 'it makes you smell better'. What she said was a minor improvement, suggesting I didn't smell repulsive, but could do with a freshening up. "It makes you smell nicer. I understand being in a stuffy hospital all day doesn't do much for the state of one's hygiene." "Thanks, er, do you have anywhere I can try them, and it, on?" "Just in here," She lead me to a changing room covered by a pink curtain. "Unfortunately I must go, so I can't make any changes just yet. I have a... thing at Twilight's place. You do remember the route back don't you?" "Yeah." "Perfect, well, I might see you there then." "Alright. Oh yeah, Twilight wanted me to pay you," I started taking out the small sack of coins from my old jeans. Through her magic, however, she pushed them back in. "No, no, no! I can't do that. You're new here, and frankly, you need them. That top of yours is falling apart." "If you're sure." I don't think this is what Twilight had in mind when she said to 'insist'. "Positive. Now I'll see you soon, Max." "Ok, thank you, Rarity." I sure as hell was warming up to these pony customs. In New York the opportunity of getting something for free usually landed you in jail or the gutter. Rarity left and I was in the changing room in moderate darkness. I would have guessed around six or seven o'clock. Time was hard to keep track of. Firstly, I went for the new set of pants. They were a perfect set of beige cotton pants which left a lot of room for my ever-growing diet. The shirt had the same properties, but a pure clean white. I wondered how long that would last. With the sun gone, I would assume it was cool enough to wear the jacket. Just like the rest of the ensemble, it was a loose-fitting jacket. Pockets, buttons and consistency, all in the space of an hour. The darkness of it really amplified the whiteness of the shirt. While it brought back painful memories, it also brought back the time when I understood what was going on. It was a flawless classic. I regretted not forcing the money on her. I swapped the contents of my old jeans into the jacket pocket, painkillers and the money sack. I didn't know what to do with the old outfit, so I took them with me. Aside from myself, I guess it was the last part that remained of my humanity. Stepping out of the boutique into the cool breeze of the night air, the streets were deserted. It was about now I expected a few round to whiz by my ear. But no, nothing but the tranquillity of night, split only by various lamps. The lamps guided me back to the library, alive with light inside. It was very peculiar how there was no-one outside, it wasn't that late. Still, less attention was good. I took one of the last three painkillers in my pocket. Hopefully, tonight would be a few questions followed directly by sleep. I opened the door and was immediately shot by confetti, balloons and noise all shouting in the same cacophony of, "SURPRISE!" Lining the walls were banners signed, 'Welcome to Equestria, Max!' Below these were hundreds, somehow I was certain, hundreds, of ponies. On the stairs, in the hall, the main room, it was full of multi-coloured ponies all beaming at me with glee. I could clearly see the master behind this as Pink, bouncing on the library desks with cake in her hooves. Amongst all of these were a separate group of Twilight and her close friends, like Rarity. There was even some musician standing on one of the desks, a large cello resting against her. The plain thing to take from all of these ponies though, were the faces. Smiling, silently expecting something. This was going to be a long night.