• Member Since 25th May, 2012
  • offline last seen April 27th

Magna85


Sup!


T

Good guy Ralph Bergson was at his home when suddenly, something happens.

He gets strangled to death. He gets sent to Equestria, as a Celedon. Will he put his new talents to good use?

(!WARNING! This is a Displaced+Power Lotto fic, and the ponies are humanized. If that is not your cup of tea, I must kindly request that you avoid commenting negatively, unless you read the story to provide criticism. Deleting of comments will not take place unless there is a double-post or nothing but mindless swearing. Thank you and have a wonderful day!) (Comments contain spoilers)




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
FEATURED ON 06/29/2015!
AND AGAIN ON 07/01/2015! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!

Chapters (35)
Comments ( 552 )

Also, this story feels like it was a bit rushed to me, and I am worried about getting some of the characters wrong. I would greatly appreciate someone who could help me on this before I post chapters with a great amount of canon characters.

I do not think the story feels rushed but that might be me. But I think you are doing okay but if you feel like it is rushed, take your time on it.:raritywink:

Alright, not bad. Though the overall reactions from both himself and Celestia and Luna are a bit lacking. He seems to except everything far too easily, and doesn't seem to question anything at all. I understand you made this a human Equestria and points for mixing it up, but the fact that Celestia and Luna don't raise an eyebrow at a completely golden Pegasus.

So. Not bad.

6051947 That is completely understandable, and I figured that I need to change something around. However, I am slightly taking from my own personality here, and I am a very accepting person by default. Gah, now I'm worried about making Celedon a Mary Sue.

Anyway, I figured that Celestia and Luna would not question him (her) because of the more important matter of crashing down from the mountain into their castle. I did hint at their confusion by them asking where he was from, since this Equestria has many, many, more countries and provinces, and Celestia and Luna do not have time to investigate everyone. A possible explanation from their heads would be that she worked as a model or circus performer in her home country. Granted, I do understand that I need to include more questions from everyone, and I am planning on including a major examination from Twilight. Anything more than that might be a spoiler.:ajsmug:

Thank you for you criticism!

So is it black with blue stripes or white with gold stripes

6052137 Ha! I knew someone would catch it. Well, all the pictures I have seen show a black and blue dress, except for some pictures that were obviously edited.

Everyone who does get it, please don't start up an argument in the comments, it would make me very upset. :fluttercry:

FUS RO DAH

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6052267

...

Yes. You have just now influenced the story.

ooohhhhhhhh :raritydespair: cliffhanger :twilightangry2: i don't like them one bit :trixieshiftright: but it does make the next chapter all the better :eeyup:

great work btw i eagerly await the next chapter :eeyup::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

6052561 I hope to get the next chapter out by today, and you should be happy to know that it is already halfway done! I just worry that I'm starting to run out of ideas. :ajsleepy:

6052849 well when that happens,take a break :eeyup:

more please

Why was there a cube of gold on the table?

6054206 Wow. Spot on with Celestia. Except for a few things, like the cutie mark/emblem placement.

Luna pretty much has the same outfit as Celestia, and she is in her "older" form, with the starry hair.

Thank you for providing this information. :twilightsmile:

6054578 I knew I had forgotten something!

But, I have someone working behind the scenes. :ajsmug:

Anything else would be a spoiler.

6054578 Plot convenience.

6054886 *sheepish grin*

That too. :twilightblush:

:pinkiegasp: DUN! DUN!! DUUUUUNNN!!!


what a twist :pinkiehappy: nice :eeyup:

6055607 Yup. Would you think that I actually had that idea back when I was just starting? I had a little niggling thought about getting Berserker in Equestria as a Displaced, but I also wanted my Celedon character is as well. So I though, "Hey, why not both?"

And thus, this was born.

6055626 well i think it's working out great :pinkiehappy::eeyup::raritywink:

6055641 This isn't McDonald's!

But I'm glad you like this story and I hope to keep you liking it.

you have my full undivided attention.

6054930 ....it's her friend isn't it.......:ajbemused:

6055955 And what friend would that be?

Of course it was Tim. Who else could it be.

I forgot to put this on tracking *facepaw*

I received no response. He just kept staring at me.
At least he wasn’t staring at my new chest, though I don’t exactly know how to feel about that.

:rainbowlaugh:

6056631 Heh, I'm a little bit immature. :rainbowwild:

6056546 Aw, was it really that obvious?

6057039 :pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy: You and me both! XD

I saw it coming a mile away. But I don't care about that I like it!

i'll tell you this,you have a knack for cliffhangers :eeyup:

6057416 Heh, it's mostly a precaution, because I feel the need to resolve the cliffhanger. If I write myself into a hole and I don't have an idea of where to go, progress grids to a halt.

That said, I'm getting mixed feelings about being good with cliffhangers...

6057129 Glad you like it! :twilightsmile:

Any tips on improving anything? I know this fic isn't perfect, but I want to get as close as possible.

6057855 :rainbowderp: you make a good point :eeyup:

and don't worry about the cliffhangers :twilightsmile:

6057862 I can't say I could tell you anything because it's already amazing. But I do want to know how Tim and The Angel will react with one another. So far I'm getting a romantic vibe... which would be awkward later on. Given who they were.

6058548 Hehehehe, I figured that would be the case.:twilightblush:

However, there is a reason I didn't put romance as one of the tags. Granted, its going to be fun and funny to write interactions with those who did not know who they were before. So many awkward introductions.

Also, there is a thing about Celedon that makes romance something that is practically impossible. But that's going to be in a later chapter.

*gasp* IDEA!

6058561 O.O

Yeah I just put two and two together... she is made of metal... so she must have metal genitalia. Yeah, that would lead to awkwardness...

6058893 Uh...:rainbowhuh:

Not really what I was going for...more like, she has "Barbie-Doll Anatomy."

6058976 Close, so very close... but no cigar.

I just felt like I had to play some form of tense music during this chapter due to what occurred.

6059102 Play whatever music you feel fits the mood. :twilightsmile:

Now that I do the same thing, it really does fit, having tense music in the background. Good idea!

Dude's crushing on a golden angel girl, who so happens to be his best friend, who was also a dude...
Therapy...

6059360 Yeah, that's going to be taken care of soon enough, though the awkwardness will never truly disappear...hehehehe. :trollestia:

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