Dreams can take strange turns, but lucid dreams are not supposed to. That’s the whole point, to change the dreamworld through lucidity. However, when he tried messing around with his own subconscious, William signed up for far more than he ever thought he was going to.
Now, Reality seems to be following arbitrary rules, cartoon logic and the fact that he cannot change back from his ridiculous alicorn form is just vanilla icing on the bizarre cake.
And unbeknownst to him, a certain Princess is infuriated by the intrusion in her domain.
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That awesome piece of coverart was drawn by the equally awesome mix-up, that you can also find on his dA account here.
This is the first HiE that I see where the story happen in the dream world, I see a lot of potential in such a story and it allows us to truly see Luna in her element. I wonder how this human/alicorne constitute a threat to Equestrians dream and what is a dreamon? obviously the guy has no clue how he got there, I also wonder if he can materialize in Equestria.
Ceci est extraordinaire comme histoire j'ai hâte de voire le prochains chapiter
William's screwed now, considering how pissed Luna is.
Very pissed. And of course, there's always the fact that he's stuck in a fantasy world as a red and black alicorn. That's pretty bad too.
This is pretty interesting so far, so I can't wait for the next chapter!
5747116 Cant really blame her she did get beat at her own game.
This is getting good cant wait for the next chapter
He's the equestrian equivalent of Freddy Krueger
What I've read so far I've liked. Please sir, might I have more?
5746856 Thank you. The dream world was just something that struck me as a good place to go and I hadn't read any story on the site that used this premise, so I figured...
Of course, I'm not going to spoil too much so early, but if you really want to know... A dreamon is a oneiric creature that invades people's dreams and feed off their energy and ambitions. They're also usually nightmare inducers. William is not one of those.
Ça fait peur, non?
5747116 As 5750742 judiciously noted, this is supposed to be one of Luna's specialty and most sacred duty. She is not pleased, indeed. Not that you're not right, regardless of semi-divine hostility, being stuck like he is sucks.
5750848 Well, he hasn't gone after the foals
yet.5756498 Thank you. I will do my best, in hopes of real life obligations not bringing me down.
5756692 Out of all the HiE and BiE fic's that I have seen you are probably the one how has explored the concept in so many different and original ways, especially with «Ten Trips to Equestria» were you presented a character how possesses so many different ponies in so many different back story to them and starting point, from young and old to Heaven and Hell, grom epic to ordinary. you rely go out of the norm for that.
J'espère que tu continuera de faire preuve d'autant d'originalité dans tes œuvres.
Hm maybe Luna is using the wrong kind of bait for what she is trying to catch.
Any way good chapter and I shall await the next with baited breath. Keep up the awesome work
Great, I looking forward to the next chapter. So William is in fact unwittingly causing harm to ponies in the dream scape and Luna can't do anything other than go fishing for him?
Wonder how long it'll take William to realize that he's pretty much screwing all these ponies over.
Hmmm... So is that the trap that Luna set up? Because if it isn't, even stranger things are afoot.
I eagerly await the next chapter!
5803454 Luna could be mistaken about his motivations, yes.
5803492 Well, it's more that the ponies that see him are trapped and cannot wake up. But yes, he is causing a lot of damage. Now, does it mean Luna cannot do anything to him within the dreamworld? Well... you'll have to wait to know about that.
5804425 Now, if by 'trap' you mean something that can isolate him within a dream, then yes, yes it is.
As for how long it'll take him, well... how long would it take you to start thinking your dreams are real?
I love the unique take on an HiE.
This looks very difficult to write.
6022903 Thank you! I'm always trying to figure out THE take on HiE that works best. Glad to see you like it.
6026094 Eeeeeh, depends. Difficult how, in your opinion? What makes it hard?
6026137
Difficult to look at what you wrote and say, "Yup, this came out just right."
6027557 Just needs a bit more work, reading out loud and listening. And showing it to other people for second opinion. It's not too bad.
Kewl start to a kewl story.
As always, you do awesome stories. I like how you manage to to build the tension of the situation where the protagonist struggle to decide if his actions have any consequences or not, in this world that he trap in is a fantasy or a reality. I also loved the part that he debated to him self whether or not to grant the colt's wish, I like the thought that he whether trough his decision. this razes an interesting question about ones self image. I wander how did you think about this?
Also if you are interested could you check my DA gallery on my page I would appreciate your comments on them. You can find there
Dude are there going to be any foals that wake up and tell luna how nice the "dreamon" is cause I would love to see her reaction.
This story infuriates me so much, only because it has left me wanting time and time again for something to make him realize and say, "oh crap this isn't a dream like I thought it was." And on a finishing note, YAY! more story.
6076171 Thanks, I'm glad you liked this one. See, I'm in the habit of having characters interact on a matter that creates a contrast to the others. This one was inspired when I thought of the freefall scene. I knew when I thought of a fic that happens in a dream that there had to be the point of fall=death/waking up. And if he saw it, if he - who can warp reality with his thoughts - hesitated and thought it might be enough to kill that person, he would try to fix it. The scenario ended up with a pony sprouting wings, and having the thoughts of body modification naturally led me to think of somepony that wished to be another kind of pony. Now, for William, it's a power fantasy, it's so out-there that it's not going to harm is self-image should he wake up as a human again. He knows what it is to himself. Sea Salt? That was a different story.
On the matter of your art, I did give it a look and I must say I'm impressed. They all look pretty good, with a more 'realistic' equine anatomy that reminds me of past gens a little. I am especially fond of the nature/druid deer fellow. And I noticed one named Reiver, a colt that looked starved... Are you doing cover art by any chance? I feel like I should recognize one or two of these.
6076331 I am very much against spoiling anything, but I will say it's a possibility, yes.
6076397 Interesting. I'm rather curious. How do you suggest proving to William that he is not in fact dreaming when he is currently an alicorn that can change a nonsensical universe with his thoughts? I really want to hear your thoughts on the matter. It's not so much a matter of 'if' as a matter of 'when' and 'how'.
I thought he WAS dreaming, but that it's not dreaming in the normal sense that he thinks dreams are that he is in so far as I can tell joint dreaming into Equestria and inadvertently trapped several ponies in a dream state from in which they cannot wake. As for something to prove to him that something is awry with his situation, I don't think that is so much as anything different that what is already happening, but more of how long it takes him to learn what his subconscious is trying to tell him.
I'm really enjoying this story. I wish there was more of it
I really feel for Luna in her struggles, things are outside her control, and the 'villain' is as well meaning as they come, who has no idea what he is doing.
Why is Luna so tired?
6076899 The hardest villains to stop are those convinced they are doing nothing wrong.
6078973 There are a few answers that come to mind, such as repeated attempts to break a dreamon's hold on at least seven victims, continuously working with little respite and such. The most important thing would probably be... how long do you think it has been since this started?
6076691 Thanks, Reiver is the main character in Family by FleetlordAvatar that I have offered to do for him and should be done by next week, as for the winged Reindeer is Shattered Sky's from the story of the same name by arctikfox that I have done a lot of fan art for him.
6079297
Said "dreamon" has experienced nothing to indicate any action was taking place.
Alicorn magical stamina would not be so drained while working with one of her natural magic-elements!
If anything she should be strengthened, not weakened! There's been no visible conflict!
I guess at least 24 hours of luna at work, with more like 48-72 hours since Patient Zero manifested. Luna may be tired and collapsing from lack of caffeine and amphetamines, but not dead on her feet!
Did you forget to have Luna mention that it costs her a constant energy upkeep to maintain her mental-magical integrity while in the dream-void? Does magic cost more to cast, or have lower efficiency in the dream-void? has she actually made it into the minds of the ponies, but she has been sapped by digging too deeply trying to find their psyche's meta-coordinates?
What technique is Luna doing to "attack" the "dreamon" that is making her so weary?
An electric motor (an actual spell, not raw magical force) will not draw significant power if there is no load, and there is only load if work is being done, and if work is being done then there is resistance to indicate the load on the motor (spell).
A plasma torch (application of raw magical force, not a magic spell) is a massive power drain while it is online, independent of resistance or load, as work is always being done by creating the plasma torch (expressing raw magical force), with little inherent evidence to indicate if the work being done is useful or wasteful.
Look, the big thing here i want to point out: it is unclear if Luna is literally dumping her magic into the dream-void, or if she is encountering resistance, because William sure as hell isn't feeling a damn thing!
6079400 Oh yeah, I remember trying to read that deer fic a while ago. I had to put it on hold and kinda forgot it. I should probably check it out again. And Family, that poor 'colt'. Nice! I'm jealous.
6079401
Besides being trapped in quarantine, you mean?
I have no idea where that comes from. Why should she be strenghtened by continuous strenous efforts? When Twilight uses a spell, she puts effort into it and she is exhausted, and she is the bearer of Magic. Luna is doing something comparable to Cadence in the season 3 premiere.
Soooo... you think 24 hours are not enough, but that's still your guess?
As for the rest of your rant... Luna mentions that she is making traps, that her previous attempts at safeguarding her subjects failed spectacularly, the description even mentions her having trouble maintaining a constant flow of magic. The specifics haven't been given yet, no, but I fail to see how that is the most important thing at this point.
6079645
I should have read more closely.
Thanks for the explanation!
Interesting read. It would be even more interesting if the colt suddenly woke up from his new ambition to cook.
Also. I'm going to laugh if there is an actual dream on who has the human locked in this dream world and is using said human to trick luna.
If small pond's condition is starting to decay. Then that could very well mean william's is also decaying. If no one has noticed that he hasn't shown up for several days, he could very well be even worse off the small pond and potentially only have a couple more days before he expires. I wouldn't be shocked if he suddenly started feeling very hungry and thirsty but couldn't sate the feeling no matter how much food and drink he consumed in the dream.
Wow. A shame it ended. For now at least.
Very interesting twist on the red and black alicorn genre, being trapped in a dream, slooooowwwwwly realising that it might not be one, and everything happening in the "real world".
I wonder , how will it continue? if at all
Dun dun dun!!!!!!
It seems Prince Willy has figured out that 2 + 2 does indeed = oh shit.
awesome chapter as alway. So Luna is risking it all by bringing Small Fry to his marefriend in the dreamscape. I hope William Will realizes it immediately even if it will cause him great discomfort or him when she leave. So small Pond dream is so be saved by her stallionfriend and Macdodm ruined it for her. Luna sure seem Hellbent on getting rid of William, if the state of her wellbeing is a sign of that.
Considering what append in the last chapter, I wander if the foals that where granted wings will have any ill effect from that. I could imagine that they will wish to have wings or think that is something missing in them for the rest of their lives, all for nothing.
I do hope that Luna will realizes that william is not malicious in his actions that he is just as trap as the rest of the dreamers, but I think that is unlikely and that he will af to make bad things before he is being lessen to.
So lIttle for such a long waIt...
6282078 marefriend? I thought she was his sister
6283193 woups
, my mistake, she just want William for company then and the crustaceans is the only way she know how t get it
6282035 My favorite equation.
6282078 It's hard to say how the foals will feel once the dream has ended. Dreaming of flight is not that uncommon a dream, for them to experience that sort of discomfort, well... that would be dependant on William's influence on them, right? And that's one of those questions I can answer, but won't, not right away.
Luna currently is not given much thoughts on what William intends. She's got a few more pressing concerns. But then again... if they talk...
6283193 Yup. Small Fry is Small Pond's brother. Neither of them have lovers.
That was funny.
And at the rate you are going Luna, there won't be after awhile.
Is it... too much to want stuff to work out? The protagonist isn't evil... yet, anyway. There is definitely a push that way. And Luna's attitude will just make things worse.
Ok, this was already starting out pretty funny. There's a few stories like this here, but this one is putting an interesting twist on the whole "dude gets sent to ponyland as a cheesy OC" parody concept. I think this chapter was stretching it out a bit too much, though. I skipped over half of it, because it was just starting to harp on the whole "the dream isn't going like it's supposed to" part to the point it got tedious.
Very unusual HiE indeed.
I wonder how it will end. ..
Always love to see another chapter of this go up and this one was a doozy. I imagine Pinkie somewhere in the waking world causing a minor earthquake from the twitchin and shakin.
Well this was an interesting chapter, we see William has made the surprising experiment, if I understood right, trying to understand how the bridge in communication gapes between radically different sapient minds and dreaming an experience that he has never lived in the waking world. I think the idea is fascinating, and that you have really made your research in the matter and it shows. I know that in human communication 55% by body language, 38% tone of voice and that words only represent a puny 7%.
I don’t understand what is happening to Small Fries, I can see that he is dreaming but, but he doesn’t seem to realize why he in his sisters dream, that he is distracted by his own dream fantasy and doesn’t seem to be remember his mission of saving his sister from the dreamon cloches. I would have imagined that Luna would have given him a way to dream lucidly in the dream world to reach her sooner or is does he have to find his own way to reach her without being noticed by William. I wander how the confrontation between Will and Fries. I see that Fries is fueled by his rightchest desire to save his sister away from the clutches of Willim would give him a “power boost”, but William can still have the moral high ground by presenting Sea Salt as an apprentice and chastise him for discourage the foal of becoming a great cook because he is an Earth Pony.
For what I think I understand, the power of what a dream entity can dish out is inked to their self-image they make of themselves as well how they are perceived by others and has nothing to do with any physical or magical strength. This power effect seem that it can be fueled either be made by the fear or the inspiration that the entity evoke to in the mind form others. This could explained why the minor dreamon, that William incinerated repeatedly, was normally feed off the amount irrational fear there evoke to the dreamers have of them, than that to keep their or increases their power it has to keep the dreamers in a constant state of fear of them. In William case, he actually inspire his dreamer victims because he has created an image of a hero to himself and others around him and that what provide his power that Luna couldn’t stand against. It also seem, that William has a greater sense self-identity, he know himself, because of his seemingly greater knowledge of human psychology then most make him more resilient to attacks in the dreamscape.
This could explain why Luna seem to be reacting so violently to the reactions of the foals how defended William and where standing up against, was to her was like having been hit by a sludge hammer right in to her ego. In this case, Luna’s own emotional issues being hated by her subjects crated made a huge blow in her self-image. On the other spectrum, William feed of the image of a hero savior that the foals and Small Pond have for him giving him a boost to his self-image and her and of being perceived her as a villain again and standing up against her. But, when William lost the support of two of the foals have seriously weakened him from the lack of their support, and the self-doubt that has created in him.
Now that William has a predatory hunger instinct that has emerge which seem to compel him to feed on other beings because of his sudden diminished of his” food source” ,this would seem to suggest that William may in fact been transform into a dreamon and it show the ugly side of his new nature. In his place I would probebly would belie that it was Luna how has cures him with this hunger and would destroy almost any chance of dialogue between the two of them. I hope he will find a way to control himself before he does something irreparable to one of his captives. I wander if we are going to see an new form like a deamon form or a full shining armor form.
Looking forward to the next chapter
6585104 It's perfect! Luna's making a statement and intends to make sure it is no lie! Flawless logic. Does not come from previous experience that were giving any sort of confirmation bias! NEVEEEEEER!
Stuff could work out. I mean, certainly, there are obstacles here and there like stubborn fatigue meaniepants syndrom and Prince 'I just really wanna eat them all' William. Though, a few other players could certainly put themselves in the limelight and change things...
Regardless, if you look at your own comment, you might not be the only one hoping for good ending here! Do I easily succumb to peer pressure? That is the question.
6585590 Point. Trying to establish stuff and me going on too longs is a switcheroo I sometimes pull off without meaning to. Still, hoping you stick around a bit more.
6585804 Unusual is my middle name. As for the ending, well, secret is its middle name.
6585906 She is spazzing as she gives out cupcake samples to passerbies in front of Sugarcube Corner, with hilarious results.
6587189 Whoop, analysis time. Nice.
Yes, if one accepts the idea that MLP is 'real' someplace else, there should surely be things that humans don't notice, wouldn't know about the way they speak. The show, to be understandable would do away with anything not obvious. Like, in the first EQG movie, Twilight greets Human!Fluttershy with a few equine gestures while talking. In the show however, they are ironically more anthropomorphized and stick with words and token movements. This was one of those plotpoints that I thought could be developped to show an alien side to our favorite setting, since, you know, he is a brony. He thought it worked as he saw it, but the reality is different and the dreamworld is necessary for communication. It's a clash of thoughts more than words. Fun, eh?
Small Fry lacked enough willpower to really differentiate his mind from the dreamworld. He got swept away without a positive influence. The environment is too similar for him to fall back on discrepancies, since it's his sister's mind doing the imagining. On the surface, Small Fry sees the restaurant as it is in Horseshoe Bay and he's just going through the motion, for now.
You've nailed most of the understanding on dreamworld's 'power'. Will, both the character and the mental capacity, are the strongest there. Okay, no, William isn't, but the idea is that he can do all this great stuff because he tries to force the world to conform, and believes it. It wasn't him that materialized the hay though, he simply got Small Pond in the right mindset through his presence first, then his evocative speech. Luna, similarly, has a strong grasp of herself, of her powers and her desires, but each failde incursion is a big drain on her magic.
William's peculiar in that most dreamons (read, middle to low levels) are more beasts than anything. They have a cetain will, but they are predictable and they do not try to force her out so much as they try to eat her too. Our protagonist however has a mind very unlike most dreamons, thus he can overpower her (part of the reason, at least, the thing about the foals is indeed very important). Her experience is working against her, and her pride is part of why she refuses to acknowledge the difference. Sorta. I can't just tell you everything, now can I?
6593278 I think a question needs to be asked, is William the dreamon? Or is the dreamon using him as a vessel and will consume him when all else is consumed?
Goddamnit. Just when I finally convince myself to read this and when it started getting good, then I reach the last chapter. Sigh. I look forward to the next one.
I think William's being used as a host by the dreamon. That whole bit when he started to recognise that small pond and the others saw him as a mannequin and he started to see himself the same was user creepy. Good job.
Well they are still getting closer to the truth. There is another dreamon, a strong and dangerous one. Even more so if he is the one who managed to bring William from a world to another.
I like how William end up helping Horseshoe Bay's citizen with their issues.
I'm liking the new cover art.
I like this story so much. If I could, I'd tell you to forsake all other things in life besides sustenance, expulsion of wastes and proper rest so you may write more of this story continuously.