Knighty's Redecorated Your Bed And Now Everypony's Pissed
Dash The StampedeYou stumble into your house, shambling for the fridge like the mindless, consumerism-controlled zombie you are, dredging the depths of the appliance for your nightly brew. Cracking the can, you revel in the refreshing taste of the piss-poor quality beer - the only thing your paycheck can snag you, unfortunately - and make your way for the bedroom.
Approaching the door, you hear what sounds like a sitcom coming from behind your door, a menagerie of voices filling the hall with sounds of wonderment and disgust alike. Stopping, you wonder if you left your television on, before a posh voice rings out true, sending warning bells through your mind - not again!
"It's positively garish! Who in their right mind would mix that shade of green with black?" You hear the voice - a female's - muse, a round of murmurs of agreement starts up, another, more brash voice taking the reins of the conversation.
"This is definitely. Not. Cool. Now I have to actually organize my books?! And where's my Daring Do banner?!"
"Well, I...um...like the pillows?.."
You groan, realizing the occupants now - the same who've been plaguing you for the past weeks - as you glance at the calendar. Figures. Monday nights always bring bad news. "Ooh! Ooh! I can put these stickers on the shelves! Hey! This one has my face on it!" You hear the grating, bubbly voice of Pinkie ring true with a sigh. Wondering what misfortune has befallen your bed now, you ease the door open - and meet with something that shatters your expectations, if they ever existed at all.
Your bed - if you can even call it such anymore- is twice the size it was when you left. Size wasn't a problem, no, but the veritable wall of bookshelves surrounding it was - as were the obnoxiously-bright icon stickers Pinkie Pie was currently slathering all over them. On your left sat Rarity, her mouth covered by her hooves in shock, eyes darting over the covers - now a delightfully ugly shade of black and green. Her hooves waved the heat off her face, and she acknowledged your entrance with a choked "urk!"
Twilight was digging through the shelves, pulling out the numerous books that had suddenly appeared there, many with titles you'd never seen before - Don't Give Up!, Higher Senses, The Swooty Bell Adventures - and categorizing them by length, author, word count, the number of vowels in the first twenty pages, and page width, respectively. Dash was trying to find a comfortable spot to nap on the 'bed', the streamlined edges tapering so as to prevent an even laying surface. Thus, any attempt to get comfortable met with a desperate struggle to realign oneself, ending with a miserable - but ultimately workable - flop. She could only compromise, making do by sprawling off the edges, her torso hanging across the bed's width. The pillows had shrunk - now half the usual size, and a small tag noted the size reduction for 'compatibility and ease of use.' The pillows had a small logo on them, a white cloud with a falling rainbow, and one pillow even displayed the words '502 Error', though you couldn't figure out why. Each part of the 'bed' you examined held a similar tag to the pillows, with the line 'Designed and coded by knighty - © 2011-2015' on the back. You drop the pillows with a defeated sigh - you can't do much else, this is your bed now, and whining won't change anything...Now if these damned ponies would get the same hint!
Frowning, you groan, pushing Rainbow off your bed and shutting the new bookshelves on your 'bed'. Flopping down on the uneven bed, you struggle for purchase, before grasping the all-too-small pillows and make what little cushioning you can for your head. As you drift off to sleep, a solitary phrase hovers around your mind. The niggling thought spews from your mouth in an unrestrained bout of glory and finesse: "Bed's a bed, you sperglords."
No comment.
5496318
Ah ah ah!
That is a comment!
>:D
5495727
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130217101722/mlp/images/b/b4/Ponies_bored_at_Sugarcube_Corner_S03E13.png
Compare the colour of her coat to the colour of her teeth/mane of that guy on the left. It's not exactly white.
For the record: this began as a blog post xD
And now we all get banned.
5496360
This amused me far more than it probably should have.
5496366
Point of order: This chapter violates the site's metafic rules. Big time.
...Then again, not much else in this collab makes sense either, but I was at least able to follow a lot of the other stories
5496390
..That was why I wrote it...?
See previous comment.
5496395 So you wrote a chapter that could get Admiral Biscuit in trouble on purpose?
5496392
It's a parody of the various reactions the site posts get. While not distinctly meta, it does parody the ideas, so if it was lost on you, I can guess that you steer clear of the site posts? Ah well.
It was fun to write, at least. And that's all that matters :3
5496402
Lol no, it started as a blog.
He asked if I wanted it linked in the A/N or as a chapter. I said go big or go home. It's not like it was getting any worse :V
Besides, I had a blast writing it. There's only ONE mention of 'knighty', and even then, the very TITLE of the fic is meta, is it not?
And I didn't break any walls in it :B
5496363
What do you mean 'we', white? man?
This is getting a tad too meta to my tastes, yea...
5496434
Biblical vengeance to the seventh generation on us all, Tonto.
5496402
He wrote it as a blog post, and after I read it a couple of times, I decided that given the nature of this project, it would be acceptable to include as a chapter.
Ultimately, the decision to publish was mine. And I can assure you, if a moderator or story approver says I need to take the chapter down, then I will.
5496390 thre are meta fic rules?
5496390
I'm pretty sure that the meta fic rules were removed. There was a big vote on it a while back.
5496703
5496807
-Go to the page to create a new fic.
-Scroll to the bottom
-Search the page for the word "meta"
5496870
The rule did change though, it use to be a straight out ban.
5496350
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Okay, okay, I'll say something: Not bad. The joke definitely didn't overstay its welcome, though the topicality's a bit worn at this point. Still, I suppose this one was inevitable, and you got as much out of it as anyone could really expect.
5496390
Here's the comment with the idea on the blog that started this ridiculous endeavor. It may not excuse it, but know that it was premediated (and not even by Dash the Stampede!)
5496977
Considering I originally wrote it as a blog? It's seen DOUBLE EXPOSURE, ALL ACROSS THE SITE, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
I'm glad you got a chuckle. T'was the point. That, and to poke the bees' nest so to say.
Who else would have written it?
Premeditated, yes. Actually acted upon (till now)? Nope :D Once I read that, I couldn't not do it!
I honestly don't mind the "redecoration" of the site. The banners were removed, so what? Half the time, I don't even see it on my page, because I'm scrolled down. I can keep track of my favorites' statistics through creating and adding to bookshelves.
Oh, and before the update, I was getting literally no group thread notifications. I sure as hell do now.
5497546
Well, it seems I characterized 'You' quite well then :V
Each pony represented a different 'opinion' style you'll see, and even 'You' play a part in the userbase, as the grumpy one who's just glad the
sitebed is still here and relatively intact.Here's how I saw it:
Rarity would be the over-reactor section, always finding a nitpick. Twilight is the super-organizational people with like, fifty bookshelves, Pinkie represents the ones who're excited for updates, and Fluttershy is the type who doesn't really comment one way or the other. The neutrality, if you will. And Dash is just in it to look cooler :V
this was funny, but why do we still have the banner credits if we no longer have banners?
5497683 So people can still use the images? One image doesn't even exist on DA any more, so Fimfiction is probably the only place left to possibly get it.
5497683
I like to promote Sollace, who has userscripts that make Fimfic all nice and pretty.
Sollace
Chapter is meta as fuck. I LIKE IT.
Nice ponification of re-poni-fiction-ication, but I think it missed something: Fluttershy adding a bunch of stories to shelves labeled "Okay I guess," "It's Nice," "Acceptable Stories," etc., but nobody faulting her for it because she's just too adorable.
Oh- um- I mean, 0/10, no drunk ponies! (Quite the coincidental title, given last chapter.)
I'd love to see Knight drop in a like or dislike in words.. I honestly think he giggled when he read (if he read) this chappy.
*Runs away to prevent death by laughter*
This is one of the greatest things I've read.
5541945
*bows*
Thank you, thank you, I'm here till Thursday.
And, well, every day after that, I suppose xD
Glad to entertain! I write silliness like this a lot :V
5550826
The thing is, there's only one thing I'm upset about when it comes to the newest update. And that would be the fact that the banners are gone. And right after I figured out how to customize which ones I saw, too. Why delete the thing that brought me to join the community? And now they're gone... Possibly forever... Loved the chapter though. It's so perfect!
Long comment is long. But very descriptive
I kinda hope Knighty sees this.
Then again, I don't want that if he wants to take it down. Hopefully not. He seems chill enough.
That rule pretty vague ain't it? Any rule with defined broadly sounds like an oxymoron to me.