Pinkie Pie is Playing Twister With Your Bed (Maxes Altho)
Pinkie Pie Is Playing Twister With Your Bed
Maxes Altho God, you needed this. A nice weekend away from your apartment and the crazy reality-warping bed that keeps dumping ponies into, on, and around it.
You’ve decided, after the last disaster, to go see your parents and kid sister. Thankfully, they didn’t keep their promise and move to Hawaii the moment you set foot out their door.
You four had loads of fun, seeing the latest bad comedy, going to that museum you’ve been to a dozen times before, and just walking the town as you swap stories about where your friends went after high school.
----------
Monday, Evening
You walk into the four-bedroom house after picking up groceries for your last night at home. You’d love to stay longer (work sucks, and you’re fairly certain one of your managers is making passes at you), but you need to pay the bills. The very least you could do is make dinner for your family. Speaking of, Mom and Dad are working late, and your sister is on her computer, like always. Perfect time for the surprise!
… At least, it would be, if you didn’t hear loud, obnoxious music as soon as you opened the front door. Your sister doesn’t own any dubstep, and she’s always got her headphones on anyways. You set the groceries in the kitchen, put the most valuable frozen foods in the freezer, and investigate. The wubs are coming from your room.
“Oh my god, if that curse followed me here… at least, if it’s Vinyl, she brought her turntable this time. Just gotta keep her away from, well, everything.”
You shove open the door to your room, and freeze. Vinyl is most definitely not in your bed. Your bed isn’t even where your bed is supposed to be.
Your room has been turned into the closest approximation of a party in the Capitol Wasteland as you can get. Everything is shoved up against the walls, tables covered in snacky foods are everywhere, party music is blaring from your speakers, and a familiar pink party pony is playing Twister with your bed, and losing.
She, who is obviously Pinkie Pie, eventually notices you standing there, jaw so open you could swallow the Titanic, and waves. “Hi there! Care to joi—Whoa!” That wave threw her balance off, and she crashes to the mat. The bed stands on two legs, and is… laughing? At least, it is making the motions of laughing, no sound is coming out, as it is a bed and, therefore, does not contain any of the necessary parts to constitute life.
She gets up, a playful grin on her face. “Oh, you won’t be so lucky next time!” The bed salutes, then leans against the only bare wall. Pinkie brings over a plate of snacks, shoves a slice of cake in your mouth, and forcibly shuts it. The blast of pure sugar finally gets your attention. You swallow (hey, it’s good cake), and try to speak.
“Uh… wha… Pink… huh?”
She grins even wider. Any bigger, and she’d be saying “You wanna know why I got these scars?”
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! I was getting ready to throw a mondo party just ‘cause I wanted to when I got poofed here but my Party Cannon came with me and went BOOM in here instead of Town Hall so I decided ‘why not? I’ll just party here instead!’ and now I have a new friend so this is now a Fun-Party-with-a-New-Friend-Party! Actually, it’s a Double-New-Friend-Party, but my other new friend drank a little too much ginger ale.” She waves a hoof at a pile in the corner, where your sister slumps, unconscious. “You wanna play Twister? That bed is really good, but I know the two of us together can beat him!”
A deep voice comes from the closet. “Are you sure you want to, Pinkie? Currently, you are at 0-5.”
“Discord? You brought Discord here?”
“What? Oh, no, I’m not Discord. I just voice him.” The closet door opens, and sure enough, John de Lancie steps forward.
“YAAAAAAA!” With a shout, yet another figure leaps through the window, landing on one of the tables. “Sheogorath has returned, foolish mortals, and I have brought the finest Nordish ale! Now the party can commence!”
That’s it. You can’t take it anymore, and your legs agree. You slump to the ground, and your brain takes a vacation from this vacation.
----------
You wake up hours later, according to the clock, sometime around midnight. You have a splitting headache, and a foul taste in your mouth. You sit up and look around.
Was it all a dream? The room is in impeccable order, there are no Daedric Princes swigging ale, no celebrities in the closet, no ponies, and your bed is in the correct corner, made. The only thing out of place is a small pink present in the center of your room.
Dear Funny Guy,
Thanks soooooooo much for letting me party in your room! You were an absolute blast, once that guy with the silver hair and funny clothes picked you off the ground! That other guy who sounds like Discord was fun and all, but you outpartied even me!
It really got crazy when all those other things started showing up and partying too, but it was so awesome! It was so so so sososo fun!
The party ended when the real Discord showed up, something about cleansing an interdimensional rift around a certain individual. I think he meant you, by the way you were running around, pelting him with bottles as he chased after you. Everyone joined the chase, and it somehow turned into a giant conga line!
Discord, the party pooper, poofed all the other things away, and tried to fix you. He got really frustrated, and red in the face, so I thought it was a mean face challenge so I tried to outmeanface him, but he stopped me. He said something about ‘he can’t be cured’ then poofed your room back to normal and poofed us home.
Here’s a little gift, from one party animal to another.
Enjoy,
Pinkie Pie
You’re not sure how she got all of that on a 3x4 apology card, but you open the present, and find a large cake in the shape of Pinkie’s face. You take a bit of the frosting in hand, and lick. Exactly as they describe in the show, almost pure sugar, but oh so delicious. This will constitute your evening snack for at least the next week.
You exit your room, and walk down the hallway. Your parents and sister are in their respective rooms, sound asleep. You make your way back to your room, and stumble into bed.
“Eep!”
You bolt upright, and find Pinkie Pie hiding under the covers.
“What? How? … You know what, I’m not even going to question anymore.”
“Oh! I asked Discord to bring me back here so I could be sure you got your present! He’ll be back in the morning, so can I sleep here tonight? No more party, I Pinkie Promise.”
“Uh, sure, I guess.” She snuggles up to you, and you somehow manage to get a peaceful night’s sleep.
You wake up with a mouthful of candy-pink hair, but it was peaceful nonetheless.
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Now that's a plot twist(er)!
Oh look, Chrysalis is back.
Also, this video is very appropriate for this guy.
A John De Lancie cameo?
i.imgur.com/Ytc396y.gif
5463529 you know, never even considered that. I was originally gonna make Discord the bed, and have De Lancie meet himself, but the Chryssy thing makes it all the more continual as a series.
5463604
5463649
I know, but it loses something when the director of such epics as Lady in the Water and Signs doesnt say it.
once I saw the name Sheogorath I knew the madness will commence I almost past out laughing I try to face palm but hit my eye instead of my head
What kind of crazy shenanigans were you expecting?
... never mind, my brain just came up with several crazier options.
5463529 Chrysalis? Where.
5463891 yeah, I was expecting to write epic, Rainboom-level shenanigans, but I lost those thoughts somewhere in the ether.
5463955 chapter 3 (4, if you count the prologue)
5463995
My dear fellow, you've already written Rainboom level shenanigans! I'm just wondering what other crazier thoughts you might've had. ...then my brain fills in the blanks.
5464004 well, one thing I was expecting myself to write was Discord popping out of the bed and laughing at the chocolate milk of bucket he put above your door as it fell on you, but, like I said, kinda lost it.
5463995 i thought it was the latest one.
5464015
...I'm sorry, somehow Pinkie hopped from your story and is even now burrowing into my mind. Suddenly everything tastes like creamy frosting. Fun...
Seriously though, nice work. I think I"ll add you to my 'To Stalk' list.
5464029 I mean, look back a few chapters. "Queen Chrysalis is Disguised as Your Bed.". In my chap, the bed is sentient. Make the connection...?
5464034 Wait... I thought this was no longer the case.
5464048 neither did i, but someone else commented that, so I'm sticking with it
5464060 So the bed is still QC or is it thinking its QC.
dude... John de Lancie was there, Sheogorath showed up with booze, Discord tried to do good and there was cake, you hit Pinkie Pie level of craziness with Sheogorath and kept going
One story with Chrysalis disguised as a bed is a random piece of silliness.
A second is a continuation.
Three is a 'verse.
If this gets to four, we're pretty much all banned.
Bediverse?
5464033 take that frosting, and make "Pinkie Pie is in Your Bed, Covered in Frosting". I want to see more Pinkie in the Bediverse
5464089 Why would we all get banned over making a hilarious new universe?
Miss Harshwhinny Denies Your Bed's Application To Host The Equestria Games
5464180
Skywriter incoming in ten, nine, eight, never...
5464141
...general principles?
I can't help myself, changelings are just adorable. I wish they got more attention.
O.O
I... Wat?
Blackjack (from FoE:PH) helps with your radroach infestation. With all the crap that's happened to this guy, giant, radioactive cockroaches and a drunken, gunslinging unicorn shouldn't be too out of place.
this chapter is my fav for one person Sheogorath he the best Daedric Prince ever
I can't say it better so him say it
brickshelf.com/gallery/UndeadSlayer/avatars/sheogorath_sig.jpg
Freaking Sheogorath.
*clap* *clap* *clap*
Best chapter so far!!!
You had Sheogorath in your your story and didn't make a single cheese pun or joke? Son, I am disappointed. :
But, not serious I was expecting something completely random related to one of Lancie's prior rolls, followed by an announcement of celebration and CHEESE FOR EVERYONE.
5466655 I don't remember Sheogorath fawning over cheese... Then again, its been at least a year since I've played Skyrim. All I remember is he's the Prince of Madness
Obviously the Doctor.
It's like Nordic ale, but you're drunk already and shlurring your wordsh!
P.S. Khajit are way better at partying.
5463456 were you the guy i was playing tf2 on that war3 modded server with yesterday?
5466971 If I remember correctly, sheagorath obsessed over cheese in Oblivion.
5463529 lol
And this chapter wow just wow I don't even know *~*
Pffff, wow. This was some ridiculous stuff, all right
btw... that should be "Capit[a]l Wasteland".
You made John come out of the closet, how
Could you
There's a party I want to see. The Deadric Prince of madness, The biggest party animal of all time, The king of public Indecency and his cartoon counter part.
P.S HA little sister randomly passed out drunk In the corner. Laughed so hard
It's Pinkie-crazy enough for me.
Well done for a short story. Not an error encountered. And no profanities.
5495101 idk, we sure it shouldn't be "Capit[ai]l" wasteland?
6266145
No, because you don't ponify the human's thoughts
6266315 we sure about that at this point? Look at all this stuff hes gone through, at this point I'm surprised he's not making wise cracks.
My entire reaction in this sort of situation can be summed up as thus:
*shrug*
"Welp."
*breakdances*
7989281
I think that there always comes a point where your sanity gets stretched so thin that you either just go with it, or scream.
The Pinkie chapter was good!