Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed

by Admiral Biscuit

Izzy Moonbow is in Your Bed, With Glitter. Lots of Glitter (Roxylalolcat)

Izzy Moonbow is in Your Bed, With Glitter. Lots of Glitter
Roxylalolcat

You hate Mondays.

Mondays lead to Monday nights. Monday nights mean ponies. Ponies mean not enough sleep, or property damage. Or both. You hate Mondays even more when it’s both.

“Hey, wanna buy a tennis ball?” That’s Frank. He wanders down your street sometimes, peddling random things. You have no idea where he gets any of it, and you don’t really care. It’s probably safer if you don’t know.

“Go away, Frank.” Sometimes he has useful – or at least, interesting – stuff, but tonight, all he has are tennis balls. You have no idea what you’d do with a tennis ball.

“Your loss.” Frank shrugs and shuffles off, and you walk towards your front door.

You take a deep breath before opening it – it is Monday night, after all. Everything looks normal at first glance, your kitchen/dining area is undisturbed. The only thing that bothers you is that you swear you had a few cans of beans in the cupboard, but they aren’t there anymore.

You glance at your bedroom door. Closed, just like you left it. But is there a pony on the other side? Probably. Bucking Mondays.

You decide to delay the inevitable and check your bathroom first. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Things are going well. Suspiciously well.

Time to bite the metaphorical bullet.

You open your bedroom door, and let out a horrified gasp. It looks like there was a blizzard in here. A blizzard made of glitter. The sparkly stuff is absolutely everywhere – and in the middle of it all, sitting on your bed, surrounded by spilled beans and arts & crafts supplies, is a little purple unicorn, with a messy blue mane and tail.

Buck.

Unicorns are the worst, with their bucking magical horns. Maybe you should have bought one of Frank’s tennis balls. Maybe sticking one on the end of her horn would put a stop to her witchcraft. Oh well, too late now.

Her ears flick up and she turns to you, then she squeals and gestures at what she’s done to your pillows.

“TA-DA!”

Your pillows have been absolutely butchered, and turned into a pair of pony-shaped lumps. One’s purple and blue, and has a horn. A self-portrait? Self-plushie? Whatever. The other one is orange and hornless, and has its violet mane in a braid.

With their button eyes, crookedly-stitched smiles, and manes made of yarn, they’re actually kind of cute – except for the fact that the pony had sacrificed your only pillows to make them.

“What did you do to my bed!?” She’s wrecked your stuff, and you are not happy.

She blinks, twice, as the noise of your angry roar washes over her. Then it sinks in. Her ears wilt. Her grin fades. Her eyes water, and she collapses, sobbing, into a pile of beans.

“I’m sorry! I’m only gonna be here for one night so I just wanted to make you something to remember me by but all I’ve done is make you mad and I don’t even know your name!”

Well done. You made her cry. You monster.

You sigh, tell her your name, and scratch her behind the ears. That cheers her up a bit, and she lifts her head a little and licks the beans off her face.

“I’m Izzy,” she says, wriggling her head under your hand until you're scratching just the right spot. “Izzy Mooooooooonbow.”

“So, I guess this is supposed to be you?” You pick up the purple plushie. “But who’s the other one?”

“That’s Sunny! She’s one of my best friends! She’s really nice, and she’s always looking out for me. Oh, and she can roller skate – seriously, not many ponies can roller skate. She lives in a lighthouse in Maretime Bay, it’s really neat.”

“Mare Time Bay? Sounds gay.” You grab the orange one as well, then make the plushies kiss. Several times. While making disgustingly wet kissy-kissy noises. Seriously, what are you, twelve?

Izzy squeaks. You stop being childish with the plushies and glance at her. She’s blushing. Hard. It’s adorable. You look away and cough awkwardly.

“Um. Anyway, these are cute. Thanks. But… those were my only pillows.” You put the plushies down, and gesture at the empty space at the head of your bed.

“Hehe, oops.” Izzy curls up where your pillows would normally go and smiles at you. “How about this? I can do a pretty good pillow impression!”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” You scratch her behind the ear again, chuckling. “But first, I want to change the sheets. And you need a bath.” Both Izzy’s coat and your bedsheets are covered in beans, glitter, glue, macaroni, and various other arts & crafts supplies. Wait, macaroni? You have no idea where that came from.

Izzy nods in understanding, and you lead her to your bathroom. Trusting her to figure the shower out herself, you go back to your room and start on the bed.

Fortunately, Izzy had taken your duvet off earlier – you assume to give her room to ‘work’ – and it was bunched up in a corner. It had mostly escaped the glitter-blizzard that had hit your room, emphasis on mostly. But that’s a problem for ‘future you’.

You set the plushies and Izzy’s art supplies aside, then take the fitted sheet off the mattress. There’s so much gunk on it, you decide to just bundle it up and throw it in the trash. Cleaning it would be too much effort.

Leaving your room again, you hear Izzy humming and making happy splashing noises from your bathroom. You grab another sheet from your linen closet, and almost grab a pair of pillowcases out of habit, before you realize your mistake and shake your head ruefully.

You struggle to get the fitted sheet on – the damn things are cursed, you swear – but eventually, you succeed. You shake as much of the glitter as you can off your duvet, and put it on your bed. Yes, it’ll be a little glittery, but there’s still heaps of it in your room, you’re never going to get rid of it all. Besides, the main thing you were worried about was sleeping in beans and glue. Yuck!

Izzy still isn’t back yet. You tell yourself not to worry, everything is probably fine… right? You succeed at lying to yourself until you notice the bubbles seeping under the bathroom door.

“Izzy? Are you okay in there?”

“I may have used a teensy bit too much bubble bath.” She’s giggling. Well, at least one of you is happy. You’re not sure why you even have bubble bath.

Your sigh is drowned out by the gurgle of the bathtub emptying. Izzy opens the bathroom door, sopping wet and dripping all over the place.

“Hey, do humans know what towels are?”

You facepalm, then fetch her one. Then you grab a mop and start cleaning up all the spilled bubbles.

By the time you’re done mopping, Izzy Moonbow is back in your bed. She’s fast asleep, and hugging the Sunny plushie. You try to resist the urge to squee, and fail miserably.

Gently, you climb into bed, hoping not to wake her. You carefully lower your head onto her belly – she’s nice and warm, very soft, and oh-so-delightfully fuzzy. She murmurs softly, but doesn’t wake, and you’re soon fast asleep yourself.

It’s the best sleep of your life, right up until Izzy is whisked back to Equestria, and you’re awakened at some ungodly hour of the morning by your head flopping onto the mattress.

Bucking ponies. At least you have plushies.

Comments

[Roxylalolcat]

Thanks to AlwaysDressesInStyle for pre-reading!

[DreamKitsune]

You never get rid of glitter. NEVER.

[IXOHOXI]

11139671
That's why glitter is called "Arts & Crafts Herpes"!

[Admiral Biscuit]

11139671 11139691
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/3/16/850792.jpg

[tsaukpaetra]

As one who has slept on furniture tainted by glitter... It might just be worse than sand!
But a soft pony pillow might just make up for it...

[Cerulean Blue]

On the bad side, monday means ponies. On the good side though, mondays might mean pony! snuggles. On the gripping side, glitter.

[ROBCakeran53]

11139693
Im sorry, but I'm mostly disturbed by the fact the artist gave Flash ARMPIT HAIR.

[ArcCahlon]

OK everypony grab your torches and pitchforks he made izzy sad and must die. ok so she was happy in the end so maybe just break his arm? ok fine we'll take all of his eggo waffles and syrup. despite her being happy in the end you made her sad and HAVE to pay for it. also forget pillows she could could decimate them all and every piece of linen in my closet and I'd be fine for even a moment to snuggle her as my pillow. seriously I'll be happy with as little as 30 seconds

[Sollace]

At least you have plushies.

I'd call that a net positive.

[PonyDragon]

“What did you do to my bed!?” She’s wrecked your stuff, and you are not happy.

"And will you undo it once you are finished here!?"

[Okie Brony]

Izzy is best G5 pony.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/o80u-1633154783-504211-full
Image is cover art from this story.

[Admiral Biscuit]

11819805

Izzy is best G5 pony.

You're not wrong.