Pinkamena is Viloently Stabbing Your Bed
Maxes Altho
Monday.
A low point for most, absolute hell for you.
Ever since a small purple horned equine stole your Playboys, you’ve spent every waking Monday not dreading the coming week, but dreading what new pony will be unceremoniously dropped into your bed, and just how much damage said pony will cause.
You’re standing outside your home. Nothing out of the ordinary yet. You insert your key into the lock, send a silent prayer to whatever god, deity, or ancient being of the Abyss that will listen, and enter your house.
You are hit with a wave of warmth as you enter. You investigate, and find your oven working. That considerably lessens what ponies may be in your bed. The Cakes, Bon Bon, Donut Joe, to name a few. You glance into the oven, and see cupcake tins- you didn’t even know you had cupcake tins- full of slowly-rising dough. Okay, must be Pinkie this time. No one loves cupcakes as much as her.
You ready yourself for another night of crazy when something makes you pause. Your cutlery drawer is open, and all of your sharp knives are gone. Now nervous, you ascend the stairs to your bedroom.
You cautiously open the door to your room, and behold a bed’s worst nightmare.
Your pillows have been ripped open, every feather meticulously pinned to your walls. The sheets are hanging in strips from your ceiling fan. Bedsprings and bits of the mattress litter the floor. And there’s a certain pink pony wielding a knife, plunging it over and over into your bed.
Oh shit. This isn’t Pinkie Pie. What gave it away? Oh, it might have been the hair, flat as a board, or the manic look in her eyes, or maybe the apron that says “My Friends Make the Best Cupcakes!”. This is Pinkamena, the fan-made serial killer.
She turns as you stand there, and a spark comes into her eyes. She moves to your desk, and offers you another cupcake tin. “Cupcake? Its bed flavored!”
“Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope.” You back out, giving her the full double-finger salute.
You continue your nope’s as you go down the stairs, through your living room, and out the door.
You don’t stop the nope until you are about a block away from your house. Maybe I should just check into a hotel tonight.
I am the 666th like!
I agree with the nope and quite proud of how calmly he took the cupcakes l.
5571248 EVIL MANIACAL LAUGHTER!!!
Good thing Mr. Human isn't her friend!
any sane person who knows about Pinkamena would have done the same
5566097
no I don't hate him, I just really really really really really really don't like him
Tune in next time for "Rainbow Dash turns your Bed into the Rainbow Factory"!
Presumably a pony would be in the hotel room too.
Or maybe you should just move into a friend's house temporarily, until the Equestrian invasion subsides.
Oh how much fun we could have....
...
....
Hmm, above statement could be taken very badly....
Keep going! ;)
5572185
she...already did...
not sure if sarcastic or just ignorant
5572604
But if the curse is on HIM and not the bed, then they'd just appear over at the friend's house.
5571879
Like this?
"Beds are not for eating, Pinkie."
"But I had roasted asparagus on a bed of rice pilaf once!"
"That wasn't the same kind of bed."
"And Rose had some tasty bedding plants!"
"Again... Not the same."
"Even if the feathers tickle my taste beds?"
"I'm ...going to leave now..."
5573894
Or taken very well...
I'll always wonder if the broken image was supposed to be of the guy giving a double-finger salute, or Pinkamena holding a knife, like this:
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/0cbd1d6f-3d33-4c1f-a33b-1cb3ff4f5e9b/d5w1rpd-d41d1aff-5963-4963-b295-5baad5796947.png/v1/fill/w_894,h_894,q_75,strp/pinkamena_diane_pie_by_ifthemainecoon-d5w1rpd.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJpc3MiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwic3ViIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl0sIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiIvZi8wY2JkMWQ2Zi0zZDMzLTRjMWYtYTMzYi0xY2IzZmY0ZjVlOWIvZDV3MXJwZC1kNDFkMWFmZi01OTYzLTQ5NjMtYjI5NS01YmFhZDU3OTY5NDcucG5nIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTg5NCIsImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9ODk0In1dXX0.o8ahJAcmhNWiWkcds3Erd1DEOTy5C26GNLSJMP5lQmo
11819607
I don't know, but I do know that my favorite image of Pinkamena holding a knife it this one:
derpicdn.net/img/2013/6/10/344981/large.jpg
(Sauce)
11826181
Now, that's funny! I followed the link to the "sauce," and damn near fell out of my chair laughing at the "strong ass tape" comments.