Noice.

the letter could have been written more clearly. it doesnt have a good sense of flow.

7830485 yeah I thought of that it could've used more of a flow but I just didn't know At the time how to make it flow more.

7830461 thank you

The letter has way too many commas. Also, you might want to consider using the quotation function to make it more clear as to what parts are the letter, like so:

​-"I gave him a job, working in a place I normal always went to eat, I told the owner to make him start at the bottom, and even then, the pay would get him on his hooves. The little filly ran up to me and hugged me...thanking me for being so nice, and left, her father thanking me and bowing every moment he could. I thought long and hard after that... how long, I couldn't say, and that's when it hit me, everything I did, every horrible thing I did to the lives around me... the lives I no doubt ruined, all because I believed it was my right...but I didn't, shouldn't have done all of this. Now please...open the box.'

​Silver did as the letter said when I said it. And when he did, his little gasp made me come over to see what it was. Inside was what looked to be a red crystal of a pony, a Pegasus but the wings were white, a red ruby heart along the red ruby pony, whoever mix red with red, was strange in my thought, eh. "T...this was moms," he said looking up at me as his eyes started to water. "S...She said this was made for her, when she was a little filly and she kept it safe, it was the only thing she had that was pretty." I went back to the letter as he softly traced the wings with a hoof.

​"I found where Angel Heart lived before she was...taken from this world, the bank foreclosed it of course, but...i was able to put a lot of the things in a storage locker, the key is also there." Indeed there was one there with a number. "Whenever you're ready, go to the Canterlot Bank, they have a large locker that's been paid for fully, it's always there when you're ready to go through it all. This...however, I wanted you to have first. I cannot change the past, but I can change what will happen...you will know in a few days...

​I am sorry...Silver Arrow."

7830901 hrm thanks I'll have to use that next time something like this happen, thanks

7830585

i think if you placed it in italics and formatted it as a letter would help it read easier. also a little more clarity on certain parts to help with the explanations of events.

pokes at the heart abit

stayclassy

Holy crud someone was starving for commas this chapter.
So they revel in the past a bit. That's nice, but things change you know.
We wonder if Moon might possibly have transferred to him somehow? Unless that was an echo of memory...
Keep going! ;)

All of the commas!

Quite nice, still a lot of errors, but the story makes up for it. Nice to see Blueballs owning up to his misdeeds.

I am vary impressed with the new team and I can say it has improved the this chapter.
yes I still see a few small errors but they are overlooked easily.

the back story on Luna and Blue Blood vary good and defiantly a story builder for what is coming hint every one will be shocked.

Wow

Amazing chapter you brilliant son of a bitch

8076363 sorry that this chapter didn't make you happy sir,

6767867
Well I haven't actually read it yet, I'm just assuming because it's rated M and has a gore tag.

8271335
im thinking of taking that out soon because of the fact that really hasn't happened yet.

I hope the story continues, I just read the entire story again.

8295848
it is Im just taking a small break on it as I work on my newest one, this one I hit a small snag on writing wise. so I wanna take a break to think things through and to find a editor for it

This story dead?

8616192
wouldn't say dea, just with the other story im working on, this oen is slightly on the back burners

Please we need more :D

ok it is time to start giving the author total shit about canceling this grate story.

9056636
I will be restarting it after I finished S.I.E

9056795
i remember we talked i just felt like rattling your chain young pup.

9056795
so when will you be finishing S.I.E?