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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5902828 Seems we shall see huh?
ok if this is your version of clop I say it stays in the story as it is.
it is not over powering and it helps the story over all.
now to Silver Arrow I am not sure how every pony feels about this but blue blood needs to come clean with Silver Arrow but at the same time Silver Arrow needs a family and blue blood is not it.
Silver Arrow needs to find some one that will tack him in to a loving family but here is the hard part they need to know his past so he can be protected. are there any offers out there?
I am thinking Brandon needs to talk to princess celestia & princess Luna to see if something can be worked out to help queen chrysalis after all she is trying to keep her species alive and just happened to fall deeply in love.
the big shock to me was the ending sweetie drops is a changeling this is going to be a interesting talk seeing as she and Lyra are together.
I guess we all will have to see ware this all goes in the next few chapters.
Harts Fire
Plot Twist! Bon Bon = Nova Star xD I hope there going to be a lengthy conversation between him and Nova Star AKA Bon Bon. That would be very interesting.
PS: Great chapter!
The clop in this chapter felt right,, i mean it was not to soon, or to late for it, at least in my opinion.
I have to admit normally i am a bit wary about it in some storys, sometimes i don´t know exactly why, but what i mean is, be proud because i like it.
I really like it, that she is Chrysalis right now, and i am curious how much Ponys will be allowed to know this too in the furture.
I hope that you make this story pretty long, if you don´t want to write for a while, change the story status on hiatus, and don´t finish it early please. I think i already had someone, that made a really bad ending, just because he wanted to finish a story, and wanted to start another one.
This story could be probably be a trilogy or something like that. (that should mean three story´s i guess) This story could about their love, the second one could be for them to help the changelings or something like that, and the last one could be the moment, they are able to catch the leader of that Human group or something like that.
I hope you understood what i had written befor, because i know my grammar, but i try to learn to make it better.
There are probably a lot possibilities for the story, just because she is Chrysalis now, one of my favourite Villain. I am probably one of those, that want to believe something like that, what she told Brandon happened to her tribe.
Can he visit them? I don´t exactly see a reason yet, why he could not be some kind of semi-Changeling Prince right now, of yourse only for the titel at the moment.
Oh i hope he can shock someone, i mean if he is allowed to tell one of his other friends about Chrysalis.
I don´t know what to say anymore, beside me being happy about the chapter, have a good day you got me pretty excited about that chapter.
edit: it is now one of my favourites.
5904689 5904689 I plan to make this as long as possible the one thing that does bug me and I hope it doesn't others is the fact I made a 3 month time skip. I have ideas for the story but it's the time frame o have to worry about.
Son of the Moon one of my other story has only one chapter up. This was to be a second TLAQ story. I haven't wrtten more simply because well this story is not done yet. I do have some ideas for more stories based in this universe. SOTM being one and I was also thinking of making a story based on the time with Brandon and Lyra.
Even more I have a idea on a "what if" type thing, just know in furture chapters there will be a time where this "what if" comes to play. And thas all I will say on that.
Hopfuly if the ideas keep rolling in then this story won't even be halfway done yet. Some of my stories only have 20 to 25 chapters but o wanna make this longer and I hope the fans of this story will enjoy it
5904647 oh trust me there will be
5904755 To be honest, normally i hate timeskips, but this time i wanted to wait, and you made it look like nothing important happens, at least nothing we haven´t already seen.
I don´t know if i would want to read the one with Lyra, more because i know how it would end, but if you would change the fact, that they break up, i could enjoy it more easy.
On your story picture, it looks a bit like Chrysalis would be rather short.
5905130 yup that they are
5905251 the the cover art yes she is short this was just the best pic I could find that had a human (that you can't see so I can make it sound like its Brandon) and her.
Trust me if I were to find or get a art that could be better I would so put it up
You know every time I see that picture I can't help think that this is going to happen.
Nice retcon! Well, no it probably isn't really a retcon, but it sure explains those early fumbles!
Regarding the clop, it's rather soft actually, can probably stay as it hardly took two screens on my mobile.
5902828 actually a herd being formed just does in probability by at least six percent! There's hope yet!
Keep going! ;)
oh snap plot twist
stayclassy
5906519 yeah I understand that you may not like how Brandon is single minded when it comes to something like this. It's the way he feels and I do plan and getting him help in a sense
5905318
I would rather not change the cover pic. That has to be one of the most adorable Chrysalis pic's I have ever seen.
I like how the relationship unfolded between Brandon and Chrisalis. This is just my mussing but I would like to see a peace be founded between the changelings and ponies. Brandon has a in with the princesses that would make his a good intercessor. A possible approach to this would be Princess Luna and the Princess of Friendship, Twilight. Twilight has an insatiable appetite for knowlege. With the fear of the unknown taken away and the pragmatism of Princess Luna, Celestia can be won over.
5906802 first: I'd blike to apologize, I didn't mean for that little rant to be so aggressive. You got me right in one of my pet peeves and it snow balled.
Second: The story could really do with an editor, friend. With the grammar errors I've spotted I can assume that English is not your first language, if such is true many of them can be forgiven. I really recommend you go on over to the editor group and ask for help there, the story could really benefit from it. You have a lovely idea in this story, but it needs an editor to make it a easier read.
I'll be favoring it... Because... Well you can guess from my profile pic.
5911606 yes you are right I know this story needs a editor and I have two willing to do it but I know life is busy, perhaps you are right and I should look up editor groups for such a thing and don't worry about any rants you do.
I take any review good or bad it only makes me a stronger writer
5911620 just don't use ssentient in place of spacince again please, or I'll find you.
5911674 no Offesnse but I don't know what you mean by that
5911680 I'm referring to my original post. Read this.http://www.rebekkahniles.com/2012/03/word-box-sapience-vs-sentience.html?m=1
Keep. This. Up.
5921408 I'm guessing you like this story?
5911687 ah yes
Waiting for next awesome chapter!! well... if that's ok with you. ..
Eight months and 70000 words and the title of the story finally applies. A long, hard road it's been.
5934149 it's coming soon working on te next chapter as I text this
5939818 that it has and you know what, we are not even close to the halfway mark here!
5939983 yay!~
5939983
I still think you really need a competent editor, but otherwise this story has certainly been shaping up nicely since the last time I looked at it. That little thing about Bon Bon in the latest chapter was pretty funny, in particular. I'm looking forward to seeing how that turns out.
5940503 I understand as much, I have tree people who are willing to edit This and such. I am always looking for more who want to and such.
I love writing this story and that's the thing I write to just write, I understand a lot of people may hate my grammar it how I spell things. English study in school was never my strongest point.
In a sense writing helps me and gald people here enjoy it so much they wanna help make it better. After the next chapter in the little author notes I'll be putting notices of looking for editors. I had gone to different editing groups but I have yet to get a comment back.
Ether way long story short I'm always looking for anyone that's willing. There are a few unedited chapters up to date as of now that are free for anyone to edit all I ask is that they send me a pm saying my that want to or when it's done.
...oh goddamn it. I have no idea how I didn't realize until right now just how incredibly many openings for potential jokes about him feeding a substantial portion of her nation with his hot, steamy "love" there are in that current situation. She's lucky the main character isn't like me, or she'd probably marry him by the next just so she can divorce him again for the sheer aggravation.
5944981 well then good thing you aren't in Brandon shoes then haha
Wooo, Chryssie's out of the bag!
That clop fit the story well. It should stay in.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Good god you need an editor. No offense but I'm guessing that English isn't your first language. Other than misspellings and incorrect grammar, this story is great!