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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Seems Chrysalis is falling faster than he is.
Your chapter titles should be shorter I think, something's like, "What I love" or similar, should hint at the theme of the chapter without spoiling it.
Keep going! ;)
i've been enjoying this story. may be slow to update but still a great story
stay classy
good story, i don´t mind the way you did Rarity, it is a nice change. I think you are doing some thigns a bit different than usually and i like it.
I liked it too, that they were talking about things like sex but not to much or like Rarity held him back with her magic but didn´t forced him to stay (if i am right).
I would hate it if he would be forced with the magic, i always like the idea that they shouldn´t be allowed to do what they want to other Humans/Ponies without a punishment.
Well i stopp right there, i could say more but i have no time if i want to sleep a bit. Good story.
5345425 your right, she didn't force him to stay in place, it was like someone holding his arm to stop him for a second to try and explain
5354738 pretty much yeah, I didn't go fully into it (should have) but let's say someone from the human world did something really big like say murdered someone in equestria. The princesses do not want thier kingdom to have someone such as that, but seeing how the human is not thier subject. They hold the human, until they can send him back to his own world. They would have someone like a lawyer for the pony tell the human leader what has happened and tell them said human is exiled from Equestria. And they can charge thier own, (the human who committed the crime) as such.
The same is vice versa.
So far only a portal is toward equestria and Earth. What I plan to do, is have more portals be made to go from say the Gryphon Kingdom, the Crystal Kingdom. And so forth. So if he was exiled from equestria, he could still say go to the Gryphon Kingdom, because that is not part of Equestria border.
Hope this helps
Hoping to see more cat-butted birds.
I like how you portrayed Rarity. Good, but flawed.
Chryssie yay!
Cya
Raziel-chan
Jesus Christ, the MC is such a douche to Rarity. I wouldn't mind, OP, except I get the impression you think he has the moral high ground.
7689604
She did come off as a snooty bitch just from his attire. That would set anyone off, he did give her a second chance and thankfully she realized how stuck up she was at the time.