Ever since they got back from the Crystal Empire, Spike has been having nonstop nightmares about Twilight actually sending him away and it soon begins to haunt him. Luna sees this and decides to pay him a visit.
Chapters (1)
ScarredFlower
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Master?
5011340
Yeah, that was the ONE problem with this otherwise great one-shot story.
5011434 I now realize what I did. Should I change it to mother or would that be weirder?
5011464 How about sister?
5011464
Depending on which camp you're in. Personally, I'm in the mother/son camp, but I would build it up more in the story before saying something like that, even if you go with sister/brother. Unless you plan to add more to it, I would go with "dearest friend," or something similar.
5011510 I'm not planning to add anymore so I might just change it to sister
5011996 A beautiful story but in my opinion it might be best to change 'master' to something that most people can agree on such as 'lifelong friend' but as the writer it mostly depends on your view. Anyways thank you for the short but sweet tale.
A good story, but I think "Anxiety" did it better. No offense. It's just that both stories are so similar that it's hard not to make a comparison.
Couple errors here and there could use a little cleaning, but other than that you did a pretty good job on this. The pacing... could use a tiny bit of work, but it's a oneshot, so I understand. You could've described a few things in more detail and that would've made it longer and better pacing, but knowing me, your pacing could be good and I will be like "GO SLOWER!!!", but if you think it's cool, then that's cool. Another thing is well, let's just say if you need an editor, I'm here. You can always ask me for help.
Nice little story! I enjoyed it and I hope to see more from you!
Yeah, pacing needs improvements as well as depth and description. It's just so short....
Like the Good guy said A little hamburger helper.
It's got good bones now add some meat
This is kind of short to fulfill what you wanted to do with the premise.