- Member Since 8th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Mar 13th, 2013
TAW
Hi, I'm TAW. I write terrible erotic my little pony fan fiction about cartoon horses having sex with each other, or vaguely defined human audience-inserts, for fun. Because... uh. I have no shame?
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Woah that was good
hmm c2h4oh,
but nice story
>Complete
Really? That's to bad, I really wanted to see
AshSpike helpSparklemonTwilight beat that thing.W-what? Did Twilight win or not? I don't get it!
i usually just read these for the lols but i seriously think i am going to be sick
oh god
This was really good!
Dude, I -really- want to see more of this. I mean, its a good one-shot, but it'd kick chaotic as with just one more chapter.
473400
well, the ending was vague for a good reason, you're not meant to know.
473850
I think the only way another chapter of this could really work would be to diverge, one chapter for where she won and one for where she didn't
that actually sounds pretty interesting actually, huh
474389
I hate vague! NEW ENDINGS NOW!
Aaaaaaaw shit
Great story, I don't know why people hate it
Well
you weren't kidding when you said this would rustle jimmies
Well, at least it ends on a hopeful note.
SEQUEL DEMANDED OR YOUR WORLD WILL BE EXTERMINATED
Awesome story. Keep it up. I gotta see another chapter.
Really good so far.
this is great my fine sire, but i must say, it would be most interesting to see what happens next, both versions if possible, the version where she wins and the version where she loses
After learning about indoctrination (mass effect trilogy, and I'll leave it at that), mind control stuff really gets to me. This is really gripping though, goddamn. The despair from her situation is gut wrenching for me, but great story.
After learning about indoctrination (mass effect trilogy, and I'll leave it at that), mind control stuff really gets to me. This is really gripping though, goddamn. The despair from her situation is gut wrenching for me, but great story.
i love these stories
the concept of losing your free will and being forced to do whatever may be asked of you
it's always interesting
how simple and halfhearted requests can prove troublesome or hurtful even when not fully intended
and how fast more malicious words can scar
and i love the vague ending
it's twilight, she already came up with a plan and relayed it to spike
but you never really know if they succeeded
That was an abrupt ending, but still a good one. Everything about it was entertaining, yet sad/depressing, then it got to the stallions(not a fan of anything involving guys....but thats just personal preference).....afterwards I just hoped she or someone would torture and/or murder them. All around though, I believe this was a good read. Looking forward to reading the rest of your stories.
"Complete"
Lies. LIES!
Pleeease let there be a sequel and let Twilight FUCK THIS THING UP LIKE NO THING HAS BEEN FUCKED UP BEFORE.
Grate story but...
For the love of Luna. this need alternate endings. Hitchcock always drove me bonkers.
You sir, will write more of this. You will. This is not just a good story, but a great one. But you've left it in a state with too many loose ends to be a proper ending. Write more. DO IT!
A darkfic with sex and mind control?
NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR.
Ugh. Need Twilight to win.
Very, very good darkfic. I like your writing style and your characterization of Twilight is perfect, as are those of RD and Spike in their brief roles. I could feel the weight in the pit of my stomach growing as Twilight lost control. The brief TwiDash ship moment didn't feel out of place at all, though I'm not a fan of the pairing. The sex scene was frightening and alluring at the same time.
Mental manipulation of this kind sends chills down my spine; free will is to me a necessary component of being a person. To lose it is to die in every way that matters. This story presented the topic with all the intrigue and horror it deserves. Bravo.
I didn't spot any spelling or grammar mistakes, except for a bunch of comma splices.
Interesting. Kinda sad and scary, but the sex scene was somehow... well it was definitely fetishistic. And I like how it ends on that heroic note, and want to see it continued. The only way I could see her losing, though, was if it was Dashie who payed the man... at least that's the only way I could accept it....
889983
If Dash wanted a pet, I'm sure all she'd have to do was ask.
"The thick, red hot liquid gushed down her throat as she eagerly swallowed, gulping down load after load and moaning happily as she felt the pony above her become satisfied."
WTF did he cum blood?
TAW fic?
Mind-controlled Twilight?
Not like I wanted to sleep....
I don't like the ending. It doesn't feel like an ending? What happens to Twi? Did they beat it? I hate cliff hangers that have nothing after them to show what happens next.
MAN THIS STORY IS CRAP!
Nah, just kidding. I thought it was okay. Not exceptional, but good enough to keep me reading it.
Is it terrible that I don't believe Spike's innocent for a moment?
My take on this is -- and maybe I'm way off base -- that Spike is the one who "requested" Twilight.
(I was hoping it'd be a complete downfall and it'd turn out Celestia wanted her, but the cliffhanger-or-possibly-not-cliffhanger isn't a bad ending either.)
I couldn't help but hear the villain as this guy. Which makes me imagine a sequel where she loses, but instead of the sex-toy we assume she's supposed to be, they're wanting her to play their pet hero. In a setting with porn-game elements, just to keep it cloppy. Some extra-dimensional brony's entertainment. Maybe he's a TwiDash shipper so he'll have her kidnapped and thrown in there too, maybe give them complimentary mutations/compulsions so they'll fuck/comfort each-other in the hopes that the ship will sail.
Yeaaaaaaaah-I'm going to pony hell, aren't I? 'Cause I'd totally do that if I had the resources.
In any case, someone needs to write this. Because.
uh im confused , the only character is twilight , so does she mind control herself -.o?.....
625327 what does the xbox one have to do with this fic?.....
complete , are you serious? that was an anything but complete ending there.....
2808208 I know right?
epic!
2879845
Sequel Time!
3043996 Agreed
So, the voice said that it was "the one who was telling her to wake up"
And then spike woke up twilight
So my thery is that spike saw the bottle of obedience and tried it out on twilight
Please...Please tell me that this is not complete. That I somehow misread it. It can´t be over. It just has begun.
The Story is great and promising and it would be a shame if it would end here. Also controlled Twilight is best Twilight
It would also be nice to know if Twilight was able to beat this thing and break free of this mental conditioning or not.
well, this was an unexpected ending^^ for a moment I thought it was Spike who someohow controlled her. Glad to see I was wrong^^ That must have been one hell of a fight^^ SPIKE TO THE RESCUE!!!
Back when I was a kid, I read a children's story about a man that can only answer "yes" to any questions. His friends would ask "Can you do me a favor?" "Can you do this and that for me?" "Can I borrow a thousand bucks?" You'd imagine how abused he'd be. One day, he met a girl that can only answer "no". She defended the man from the abuses he was getting. The man appreciates her and falls in love with her, but he doesn't know how to propose. So he asked, "Will you please not marry me?" and the girl replied "NO!"
That was so cool I would like to see what happened next good story
473320
Why did you write C2H4OH? You should have at least written it CH3CH2OH to give us a better idea of the structure.
It's not like I wanted to sleep. anyway. Still it was a good fic.
The fact that it's storming outside adds a nice background noise for this, don't you think?
Also, why'd you end it in such an unsatisfactory way? I want more! Sequel, maybe? More TwiDash?