The Grand Return
The next few weeks moved strangely for the family of five up on the moon. It quickly became apparent that time moved differently on the moon than down on the planet's surface, as the pattern of day and night visibly shifted in minutes instead of hours. Every so often, Twilight would fall asleep for about a half hour, then regale them with tales of her antics on the surface with her friends...tales that plainly covered more than a half-hour's length of events. None of them were quite sure what was causing this, but they were grateful. In all likelihood, it meant they'd be able to travel to the surface that much sooner, with Twilight fully caught up on the events of her life.
Of course, there were a few surprise moments...
"Stripey rhyming mystic!" Twilight shouted as she woke up one time when she woke up, not long after her first 'sleep session'.
"What was that, Twi?" Ratchet asked in confusion.
"Blackwater said that he got the curse from a mystic with stripes who spoke entirely in rhyme, that told him to expect someone like me!" Twilight explained. "She's down there! Her name's Zecora, and she's a zebra!"
"A...zebra?" Qwark asked, stunned. "Wow, the diversity of life down there..."
"But how did she get to the Polaris sector?" Twilight demanded angrily. "Not to mention based on what Blackwater said, he got the curse before Zecora was born! And where did she learn it?"
"Not to belabor an obvious point," Aphelion spoke up softly, "but between the huge amounts of time energy inside me, your own full understanding of the curse, and the mental abilities you and Mom share...from you?"
Twilight groaned. "I am getting sick and tired of all these ontological paradoxes!"
"I have a big brother?" Twilight shouted as she woke from an hour long nap. That one the group had been certain would be significant, as the only other hour long naps had been the dreams of 'Nightmare Moon's return and a fight with a being known as Discord. As such, this shout seemed...out of place.
"I'm right here, you know," Qwark pointed out, hurt.
"I mean down there!" Twilight explained. "Shining Armor."
"Sounds like a knight," Ratchet observed softly.
"He is," Twilight explained. "Captain of the Royal Guard, my BBBFF apparently-"
"I thought that was me!" Qwark whined pathetically.
"-and he just married my old foalsitter, Cadence...who apparently is the Princess of Love," Twilight concluded. "Talk about a fairy tale..."
"Considering you're a magic, candy colored, talking pony from a world of medieval magic..." Ratchet joked teasingly.
"And the extra long dream state was for...attending a wedding?" Clank asked in confusion. "That...does not seem to follow the pattern..."
"Well, Cadence got replaced by a Changeling Queen who was trying to use the wedding as a way to take over Equestria so her armies could feed on the nation's love..." Twilight allowed.
"That makes much more sense," Clank agreed, glad that the theories they'd developed so far of how the magic in place seemed to be working were holding out. Otherwise, the only working theory was 'completely random', and that sounded too much like that Discord fellow.
The adventures Twilight had talked about seemed rather tame by comparison to what the family had been through together, although were in their own way reassuring. Hearing about Twilight's apparent first attempt at meddling with time made her previous endeavors much more impressive in hind sight. The strange temporal state also gave them an explanation as to why it seemed Twilight on the planet's surface had lived through fall, winter, and fall in a single year.
As time on the planet below approached what Clank calculated to be approximately a year since their arrival, it began to slow down. Day and night changed more slowly, and Twilight's dream sessions became proportionately longer, until it reached a one-to-one ratio. Clank's conclusion was that they were nearly at the point where Twilight below would be sent to Veldin of the past...which was concerning. While they were now approximately the same physical age, Twilight below was still a unicorn with no signs of incipient wing growth. Not only that, Aphelion had not repaired herself enough to enter the planet's atmosphere yet, which meant they had no way of getting to the planet's surface.
To add further complications, Twilight awoke from her latest dream with a startled scream.
"Twilight!" Ratchet called out, rushing to her side.
"I'm...I'm okay," she gasped out. "But...we need to get down there, now."
"That is not possible," Aphelion spoke up. "If I attempted to breach the atmospheric envelope in my current condition-"
"I have another idea," Twilight interrupted. "But if you've still got it, I'm going to need the pieces I saved of Dad's and my Dreadzone armor."
"What?" Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark all gasped out in shock.
"Just what do you have in mind?" Aphelion asked as she dispensed the requested fragments.
"I'm going to need a good amount of the Zoni energy you're charged with," Twilight added. She then glanced towards Qwark. "And a long rope..."
Celestia stared in shock and horror at the empty space in the ethereal plane. When she'd felt Twilight enter this plane, she'd made haste to her side to guide her through what would happen. The Elements had triggered Twilight's transformation to alicorn, a traumatic process if someone who knew what they were doing wasn't there to guide them through it. Celestia had helped Twilight adjust mentally by going over everything that had happened in her life, putting her in a relaxed mental state. Then had come the spells.
First had been a rejuvenation spell, which would restore full life to every cell of Twilight's being. The second was a magical adaption spell, to accelerate Twilight's adjustment to her new form, so her magic would behave as though she'd been born an alicorn. The third was a warp spell, meant to send her safely back to Ponyville so she didn't have to make her own way out of the astral plane, a tricky process at the best of times if one didn't know what they were doing.
Celestia had prepared these spells together, energizing them as Twilight's magic began her metamorphosis. However, just as the spells connected to Twilight's magical aura, the unthinkable had happened.
Celestia had sneezed. The reflexive jerk of her entire body had poured an excess of magic from her into Twilight. Now, all that was left was a scorch mark on the starry road of the astral plane.
Celestia felt the tears beginning in her eyes. As far as she could tell with all her senses, Twilight was...gone. Her precious student, one she'd come to love and care for over the years teaching her, one she was overjoyed to welcome into the rather exclusive alicorn race...was no more.
Turning her eyes to Ponyville, Celestia shouldered her grief as best she could, holding it at bay. Twilight's friends...Spike...they needed to know, and she needed to be strong. She warped herself there, and saw them gathering. "My little ponies," she began slowly. "There's...something I need to-"
"Sister!" That bellow always cut off any discussion, even when it wasn't using the Royal Canterlot Voice. "Sister, I have news!"
"As do I, Luna," Celestia chided gently. "And I'm afraid-"
"Sister, they have returned!" Luna interrupted.
Celestia went pale. There was only one race of beings in all the knowledge of Equestria's history - even the forbidden old tomes of that which officially did not happen - that was ever called 'they'. "Are...are you certain?"
"The energy signals are unmistakable, and descending from my moon!" Luna confirmed. "And...He has aided them! His energy is also unmistakable!"
Celestia swore under her breath. Them...allied with Him? The potential for disaster was insane. "I don't suppose there's a magical signature as well?" she asked, exploring the only thing that could possibly make the situation even worse than it already was.
"An exceptionally powerful one!" Luna confirmed. "One that rivals - neigh, dwarfs - Starswirl's!"
Celestia sank to the ground, the news having cast aside any sense of propriety. "So Lombaxes with access to magic and time travel...yes, Luna, I'd say the end of the world as we know it certainly trumps my news about Twilight." I guess I'll be with you soon, little shining star...
"Wait, something happened to Twilight?" Luna demanded in shock.
"What happened to her?" Rainbow added fiercely.
Fluttershy whimpered in terror over the 'end of the world' comment. Rarity fainted dramatically onto her couch. Applejack stared up at the star that glowed ever brighter as it descended towards them.
Pinkie began to contort violently. "Oh boy, another doozy! I was wondering what Daddy was always talking about-"
The shooting star blazed over them in an arc of silver light as the sky shattered behind it, followed by a long drawn out scream. The silver winged figure arced up before coming in to land lightly in front of the group. The green figure following behind them bounced several times before crashing into Town Hall. "I'm okay!" it called out in a masculine, goofy sounding voice. Town Hall then collapsed on top of him. "...less okay!" he called out, extending an arm out of the rubble to offer a green clad thumbs up.
The equine figure chuckled softly, her silver and blue armor gleaming in the colors of Zoni energy. The figure on her back - garbed in similar armor - dismounted, revealing itself to be a Lombax with a lunchbox shaped robot on its back. The armored alicorn mare caused her helmet to retract, revealing a very familiar lavender face. "And this is Ponyville, Dad," she explained to the Lombax, gesturing to the town.
Celestia stared in total stupefaction. On the one hoof, Twilight was back safe and sound, successfully an alicorn. On the other hoof, she apparently had access to Lombax tech and Zoni magitech. There was only one appropriate response Celestia could think of as she stared at the wonder and disaster about to unfold. "...keskefuk?"
"Verily," Luna agreed weakly.
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Agreed Celi, agreed.
feed
too
That end
whelp this should be interesting.
not quite as dramatic a return as i was expecting but still enjoyable. good work
Who else thinks, Celestia is now completely broken and will need to recover for a few days before she is mentally capable of understanding Twilight's adventures.
Also i am still waiting for Twilight to combine all the RYNOs with the RYNO suit to create the Final RYNO. Really hoping for that to be a thing, just feels like a pet protect between saving the universe's.... You know between family time and running almost all of the known universe.
Considering when this fic started, I figured it had to be this, or the season 4 premier.
wut?
let me get this straight this all happened because a semi-autonomous convulsive expulsion of air from the lungs through the nose and mouth
*Reads the reason as to why this all happened*
...
......
............
........................
Sure, why not?
7798023
Remember what happened when Twilight sneezed trying to draw 2 Zoni into the 'lifeboat capsule'?
?????? what the buck.....? also, clean up on aisle celestia
1.bp.blogspot.com/-0hBQkj2Iv-Q/T5s3gOB4v3I/AAAAAAAABDI/M3KFHCK4S74/s1600/sdgfdsgfdgfdgfdg.jpg
Here comes another paradox.
did tia just curse
7798023 You can set off a nuclear device with an improperly timed sneeze, just remember the first law of the universe, anything that can go wrong will eventually go wrong.
Also, Poor Celestia. she got owned so bad.
I wonder how long Tatsurou has had that reveal planned? Also it felt like to me that the Lombax's and Ponies had some sort of strained relationship.
Oh poor Tirek when finally shows up, oh who am I kidding we'll all laugh all that much harder
PERFECT ENDING!
7798178 Actually, you could set off a (relatively) small bomb right next to a nuke, and if it wasn't armed, the worst you would have is maybe a cracked casing on it. Seriously, nuclear weapons are not something that will go off at the slightest touch or anything silly like that.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
11:41_12/16/2016
7798003 I'm just waiting for Tats mega crossover where I can see Twilight handing out Ryno's like Oprah gives free stuff.
at which point they each customize them to taste. Pinkie's fires spiked chaos cupcakes which explode, AJ channels her devil trigger and gets an unlimited ammo supply, Rainbows well it's ends up being converted into a PROTON CANNON! Flutters welll it'll have a medigun/bonk modes, Rars will fire bat-rangs, explosive bat-rangs that hone in on there targets. Twilight's own? well at this point each volley is going to be nothing but, energy missiles that turn into micro singularities that last long enough to clear the road not long enough to rip the universe a new one.
Though we all know that EVERYONE NEEDS A RYNO!
7798413 me too, ive been waiting since i read fotressshy the 9 fathers.
7798312 Nah Tirek will be the smart one. He will take one look at Twilight and Friends. shake his head and say "Oh hell no" before returning to Tatarus where it is much safer"
Celestia sneezing and screwing up Twilight's transformation is more funny than it should be
What you meant to type was "Qu'est-ce que fuck?"
Definitely spotted the reference, though. Tia almost thought Twilight was...le killed.
..................... O_O
( pulls out a huge barrel of hard apple cider ) feel free to join me celestia. this is the headache killer.
7798413
Do not give a Rhyno to Pinkie, the possibilities are very scary!
7798411 Depends on the builder and the firing mechanism, if they put a remote detonate on a button press, all it would take is someone pressing that button on accident to set it off. yea the nukes we use today are armed on a set timer deliberately so that you can get away from the explosion and so that someone shooting it from the ground cannot disable the weapon by activating it early.
Them trying to process the explanations is going to be HILARIOUS.
7798541 True the durability does depend on the detonation type and manufacturer, but regardless of who makes them or what type, the designs do not allow much in the opportunity of catastrophic failure, at most, the casing cracks and radiation leaks out from it. You're actually safer transporting a nuke than a conventional bomb (as far as the bomb going off in transit), as conventional bombs use impact fuses and more volatile materials to trigger a blast, as compared to nuclear weapons, which just use hunks of fissile materials being rammed together to cause uncontrolled nuclear fission inside a heavily shielded casing. Sure fissile materials being jostled around wrong can release burst of alpha particles, but it's not going to blow up, and the shielding of the casing will prevent any dangerous radiation from escaping.
I've researched a lot about nuclear weapons and nuclear power, I know what I'm talking about.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
13:20_12/16/2016
7798574 Nuclear power is in fact very safe once you get into the finer details about safety and how the Fissile materials are used in a nuclear power plant. it's one of the cleaner methods of making power, and if we actually renewed the rods instead of burying them we'd have an even more economically friendly solution to future energy over the next few hundred years.
7798679 I know that. It's the safest and most efficient form of energy we are capable of at this time.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
14:40_12/16/2016
WHERE does keskefuk come from I KNOW I heard it somewhere other then here but Google keeps poiniting back here
I liked how Equstrian archives refer to Lombaxes as THEM.
Implication scary.
7798681 At least untill we FINALLY creat stable Fussion reactor.
7798498
7798685
"Keskefuk" is actually a bit of an in joke/tribute. One of my RL best friends uses it as his favorite curse word substitute, especially for when he's completely flabbergasted.
7798512 RYNO based party cannon
is this the god of war pinkie?
7798861 Oh, I see. Carry on, then!
I think the word you are looking for there is "stupefaction"
And how long have they been sitting there on that moon and Aphelion still hasn't fixed herself? Actually, that's a good question. How long have Ratchet and Co. been sitting there, according to their time?
Also, so Equestria (And whatever the planet is called) actually exists in the Ratchet and Clank universe? Have any of the other PWNY stories shown that Planet Pony existed in their respective universes, discounting inter-dimensional travel?
Lastly, is Twi going to remember the rest of her life in Equestria? it appears that she only knows what was shown in the show. It would be strangely ironic for her to know the exact same information about her life as we the watchers do.
"Celestia went pale"
Can someone make an image of an even paler Sunbutt
7798992
Three weeks.
And mostly it's Aphelion adapting herself to be able to safely enter a magic-rich environment.
So Shining Armor and Twilight both went to universes that have a history with Equestria... Coincidence???? Either way, I can just see Tirek having a very bad day when he comes to steal Twilight's magic.
I guess Alicorn sneezes are more powerful than butterfly wings.
7799187
Lets see... Tirek vs Twilight Sparkle armed with... possibly a RYNO mark V or above... along with other weaponry plus zurkon the bearded?...
That's not a very bad day, that's just a Tuesday for Twilight Sparkle.
7799203 For Tirek it is a very bad day. Magic he can handle, he tanked some huge blasts from canon Twilight with the power of all four Alicorns. I doubt he can handle the arsenal this version of Twilight has to play with.
7799226 -5 seconds-
*Tirek is dust*
7799226 IIRC, She has PLANET BUSTERS in her Zarkon the Bearded line.
Tirek is S.O.L. via F.U.B.A.R.
7798679
7798681
Actually given that a true thermonuclear reaction requires VERY SPECIFIC things to trigger, the most even a large bomb would do is scatter the radioactives over a large area. Without the proper triggers for a thermonuclear detonation all you get from having the fissile material is a 'dirty bomb'. Which ironically enough is MORE dangerous to the environment than a true thermonuclear detonation. In a dirty bomb all of the radioactives are scattered and quite a bit of radiation is released by them. In a thermonuclear detonation nearly all of the radioactives are 'destroyed' by the process, being turned into energy. While there is still radiation released, there are little to no radioactives from the fissile material left, which means the radiation will fade FASTER, despite more of it being produced by the blast.
7799388 As I said, it wouldn't go off, but if the casing cracks, you got radiation everyone.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
23:20_12/16/2016
Boy, I just went through over 200 chapters of a story...
... In less then a week!
Great, now I've got to wait for the next chapter.
7798906 ...And Pinkie can lose track of here party cannons
P.S. Anyone get that *ahem* episode referance?