Arsenal: Zeldrin
As the trio returned to the Phoenix, a news broadcast detailing the Bio-bliterator attack was playing. As they reached Sasha, President Phyronix was giving a statement to the press regarding the event.
"Mr. President," Darla Gratch asked, "how will the attack on Metropolis effect your chances for reelection this fall?"
"I'm glad you asked, Darla," he replied jovially. "Our demographic research indicates that robots will make up 100% of the Galactic population by this time next week. Of course that's great news for my reelection campaign because, as you know-" With a sleight of hand trick, a robotic prosthetic was placed to cover half his face. "-I'm half robot myself!"
Twilight stared at the screen as it went dark. "...do I want to know who his opponent was last election?"
"Trust me, you don't," Sasha replied quickly.
"How did he win?" Twilight demanded.
"Qwark was still a big time hero at that time, and endorsed his campaign," Al replied.
"...ah."
"So how are we going to find those Bio-bliterators before they turn the entire galaxy into Nefarious' mind-controlled robotic slaves?" Ratchet demanded.
"Qwark said he was going to search for information...back on the Leviathan's bridge," Clank pointed out sadly. "Perhaps he found something...that survived the crash?"
Ratchet steeled himself, for Twilight's sake. "It's worth a shot," he replied. "It went down on Planet Zeldrin." He turned to Sasha. "We'll check out the crash site. Maybe...maybe Qwark left us something to help."
"We should...we should take Skrunch," Twilight said softly. "He knew Qwark best...if Qwark hid something for us somehow, he'd know how to find it."
Ratchet nodded. "Come on, Skrunch."
Skrunch 'mk-kak'ed in agreement.
Planet Zeldrin's surface was littered with the wreckage of the Leviathan. While many smaller zapbots, humanoid assault bots, and the flying robots with arm mounted auto-plasma-cannons lined the path in their way, Twilight came up with a rather interesting idea to get past them. "We don't really want to have to fight our way through, do we?" she asked.
"Well, no," Ratchet replied. "But we need to investigate."
Grinning, Twilight pulled out the original Hologuise, which allowed the holder to disguise as a robot. "Well, if these are Nefarious' forces, they're only programmed to go after organics, right?"
Ratchet couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face. "Clever girl," he said proudly.
With the Hologuise activated, the robot troops ignored them as they explored the wreckage, searching for some sign of what Qwark had been looking for, and what he might have found...and, perhaps, some sign of his body. While the path was long, winding, and full of quite a few obstacles to jump over or onto, Twilight had upgraded the Hologuise so it would maintain the hologram even while jumping...or, in her case, even while flying.
Eventually, they reached the one piece of ship debris they hadn't expected to find...an intact escape pod.
"This had to have come from the Leviathan," Ratchet said. "Could it be...could Qwark have survived? Is he alive somewhere on this planet?"
"These footprints are Qwark sized!" Twilight said eagerly. "He made it off alive! He's probably stranded out here somewhere, unable to get into contact! We need to find him!"
"He can't be far," Clank said, picking up a device from inside the pod. "This..." He hesitated as he saw Twilight turning towards him. "Portable Personal Massager for Men...is still warm."
Ratchet swallowed, trying not to think about what the device really was. "Well, I guess he had to work a few kinks out after crashing?" he suggested.
Twilight raised an eyebrow at both of them. She decided not to point out that the 'massager' was a Gadgetron product, or that she knew exactly what it was and what it was for. They were embarrassed enough as is. She did, however, make a mental note to invite Sasha and Helga to a tea party so she could joke about this with them.
"A call was recently made using the pod's emergency communicator," Clank pointed out.
"We missed Qwark's distress signal?" Ratchet asked, shocked.
"There is a recording," Clank pointed out. He pressed the button to play it.
Twilight tilted her head in confusion. "...Captain Qwark gave up the escape pod for his hermaphroditic twin sister who was being held hostage on board the Leviathan?" she asked, her mind struggling to come up with a logical explanation for what she just saw that she could accept.
"It certainly...seems that way," Clank offered nervously.
"That was Qwark," Ratchet corrected. "Dressed as a woman, for some reason."
"What?" Twilight asked. "But...but why didn't he call us? We would have come for him right away! And why hasn't he gotten into contact with us since?"
"Ooh-uu-mk'KAK!" Skrunch added angrily.
"I don't know," Ratchet replied. "But we're going to find him and ask him. Until we know, though...we should probably keep this information to ourselves."
"Good idea," Twilight replied. "He could be hurt or something, unable to fight, and we don't want Nefarious going after him to finish the job." Her eyes lit up. "Maybe that's why he hasn't contacted us! He doesn't want us to be distracted by trying to protect him while he's recovering!"
Ratchet nodded silently, unwilling to confess his own personal suspicions regarding Qwark's absence. He hoped he was wrong, anyway. "For now, lets get back to the Phoenix."
Skrunch then called attention to a datadisk he had found inside the escape pod.
"Let's get that to Al to decode," Twilight pointed out. "And we should probably sneak back out the way we snuck in. We don't want to draw any attention."
Reactivating the Hologuise, the group made their way back to the ship.
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You know, it just hit me that I played this game when I was 8
The things that go over peoples heads is amazing sometimes
I still wonder where he found the material to make that outfit. I mean it, most everything on Nefarious' ship was metal. Was he already wearing that thing under his tights?
Alright, Either Qwark had had a cowardice episode, or he is just biding his time. Either way, the suspence is just that close to do me in!
There are no words for how creepy Quark is. I don't blame you for not wanting to write that.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
Wonder how the 'crotchetizer' passed Gagetron regulations since Twilight joined up...
6096776
She was aware of such devices. It just wasn't in her department.
I knew he survived
That skit was hilarious.
Wow... that was just awkward as hell..
So. Qwark made it look like he died in order to make his troops be motivated by his supposed death. That is my theory.
Oooo, wonder if this differs from the game then. Also, that "gadget" part will never not seem creepy.
6096513 He might have been, this is Quark we're talking about.
Urg, we're going to have to wait until we find out Quark is either a coward or a genius.
If it's the former, even with his possible reappearance in helping to defeat the boss, I'm not going to forgive him.
Also, Ratchet managed to pick out something before Twilight and Clank? Well... that's new.
Qwark may be really hurt this time around, he was actually doing something, you know looking around info on the ship,we didn't see the lower half of his body in the clip he could have some really serious burns he could of gotten run of the burning ship.
6097205 he could be both
6097277
A coward AND working against Nerferious secretly? I would expect that from a deeper character... but lets be honest, Quark only has one setting when it comes to trying to live, Smart, or Idiot.
He did after all become a formidable villain during the first and second game, otherwise...
I just realized, after posing as the Fidgwidget and managing to control his entire working force, how does he become so stupid again when he works on the good side? Not fair...
I'm really hoping that this goes down majorly different to the game. Enough has been changed that it'd be a bit of a let down for this part of the story to not reflect that.
6097394 that was the in game Qwark. his interactions with Twilight have changed him significantly for the better, and he has been cleaning up his act quite a bit in the story. sure he remains a coward at heart, but do u really think that hes going to disappoint Twilight a third time? trust me, thats one hat trick that he will never want to pull, that fillys approval is all he really rights for now because he wrecked it so badly in the Drek Incident and ProtoPet (near) Disaster
back when i got to that part in the game i didnt understand english... at all sooo i geussed and found that bit funny
I...I really want to throw up...But, I can't affort another computer...
o.O
I sincerely hope that this turns out that Quark was either recovering in secret (like Twilight guessed) or that he came up with some hair-brained undercover scheme after the crash. It would be severely disappointing if he simply gave up and went into hiding due to cowardice like he had done originally at this point...
The fact Qwark had a dress that fit him, a wig, and something to give him that bounce all for that disguise is very disturbing. I hope he's just recuperating and getting ready to launch a second attack to distract Dr. Nerferious. Or he just wants the doc to suffer a logic bomb from the video... I know I nearly did.
6096508 Now that makes me feel old. I played the first one when I was eight, and it was already near on a year old.
QWAAAARK!
6098582
The Doc is too stupid to suffer a logic Bomb from that.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/1503077120/hA02C8B4D/
6099275 Hmmm, I guess you're right, after all he did think Twilight was really a cyborg.
stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/2329591/clever-girl-o.gif
umm, WTF? The gadget they find is called a "Personal Crotchetizer". Unless they changed it in the HD remake. As far as I understood it back when I first played the game, Quark actually switched his gender. I mean its SPACE & FUTURE. Quark changing gender seemed more logical than him just F***ING himself with a device. Wouldn't be surprised if I'm wrong though. (No idea how he got tits though.)
6100540
The Personal Crotchetizer - by design appearances - is a self-stimulation toy. In essence, a masturbatory aid. That is what they found, but Clank referred to it as a 'personal massager' because he didn't want to tell Twilight "Qwark was jacking off while he was waiting". Not a gender swap device. In the call, Qwark was cross dressing.
6096781
but isn't the crotchitizer supposed to be a megacorp invention?
the only times we saw it in this game was now & in qwarks fake merchandise vending machine with the hygenator & the PDA in his secret hideout
6146062
The Hygienator and PDA were both fake Gadgetron devices.
Which in this story, the PDA was an official one, and the Hygienator was a real one that was canceled before sales.
6099452
*splat*...
Excuse me sir, but did you just break the 4th wall on my end or did I? Sometimes I can't tell since I will be breaking the 4th wall in alot of my stories when I'm done. Still did you?
6146128
Wait, the PDA was fake too? Huh, I always thought it was real. I know that the booth was fake, and it was something that Qwark was selling to get away, but I never thought that the PDA was fake.
Then again, that does actually explain the mark-up on ammo that the original and the Arsenal one forces on you. Though delivery costs also help explain that too.
Dude looks like a lady~!
6096889 I know it, too! ...I watched three different game cutscenes out of order...
6100540
In addition, during "All 4 One", Qwark talks about adding a 'special vibrating function' to his Personal Crotchetizer, more firmly confirming it as a masturbatory aid.
I see why you had no idea how to describe that call.
She knows about hermaphrodites, but not cross-dressers.
I know have a desire to listen to Aerosmith.
7952760
Well , it is biology, she would know about that . Where as , cross-dressing , is more of a hobby or mental state .
Vids broke.
--==ERROR ERROR==-- OVERUSE OF A RUNNING GAG --==ERROR ERROR==--