Interlude: A Growing Family
Qwark's ship gracefully cut the atmosphere of Kerwan as he set course for the private landing pad on the roof of the family estate, as he'd come to think of what had once been his 'little bachelor pad'. As he passed over Metropolis, he opened communications with the Planetary Defense Center, figuring that was the best way to get in contact with Sasha and the others. "This is Captain Qwark calling the Planetary Defense Center. Captain Qwark calling PDC, over!"
"PDC here!" Al called back over the comms. "It's been a while Qwark. What happened to you and the others? You all vanished during Tachyon's assault."
"I'm actually here to brief you all on that, specifically President Phyronix," Qwark explained. "Can you put me through to her?"
"I'm afraid not," Al replied with a frown. "She's at the 'Sparkle Estate' for a private meeting, and is completely incommunicado short of planetary emergency."
"We'll, I'm coming in for landing there," Qwark replied. "So I'll be able to tell her in person, then! By the way, I'm also here to call up the cavalry, so get everyone ready for marching orders. Qwark out!" Cutting the communication, he guided the ship into landing. While it was still powering down, he leapt out and rushed inside.
"President Phyronix!" he called out bombastically as he raced through the house, following the smell of Sasha's favorite tea. He also smelled Ratchet's favorite tea, which meant Sasha either had someone over or was trying to ease her worries over them by reliving scent memories. Either way, she would likely welcome his news. "Sasha, I have news about-" He skidded to a halt as he reached the lounge.
Sasha was sitting on the couch, holding a tea cup with one hand as she stifled some giggles. Next to her was Angela Cross, who had set her teacup down to hold in her belly laughs. "You mean he still does that?" she gasped out.
"He did when I last saw him," Sasha replied laughing. "Doesn't matter how famous he gets or how much of a big shot he is, or even how long I've been in a relationship with him...get even a little bit flirtatious with Ratchet when he doesn't expect it and he gets all tongue-tied."
"Does he still drop everything if Twilight so much as coughs?" Angela inquired further.
"Oh yes," Sasha replied with a groan. "Everything. She even had to lecture him about it being bad form to interrupt our 'training sessions' to check on her...and he only agreed when she complained about not liking how our scents mixed."
"So you made a lion out of Ratchet, huh?" Angela asked slyly. "So how'd you enjoy it with a Lombax?"
Sasha managed an embarrassed chuckle. "It was...quite the experience," she admitted. "Are Lombax males...always like that?"
"Like what, exactly?" Angela asked.
"So...energetic and...insatiable?"
Angela laughed. "According to my Mom, only if they get the strong warrior or scientist genes. From what I saw - and you've told me - of Ratchet, whatever his parentage is, he's got both! Which is why I was more than happy to come keep my promise to Twilight now that I've confirmed Percival Tachyon's dead."
"You really mean to join Ratchet's...harem?" Sasha asked. "Not that I'm opposed, it's rather traditional for Cazarians as well, but there are very few females I've met of any race that are so open minded about the idea." She chuckled wickedly. "Beyond that, I'm surprised you're willing to share the - from what we can determine - last living male Lombax in the universe."
Angela shrugged. "Three things. One, it's as natural for Lombaxes to form group or open relationships as it is for Cazarians. Two, if he is the last male Lombax in the universe, then he's got a lot of work ahead of him repopulating."
"Doubt he'll complain about that," Sasha joked.
Angela nodded as she laughed. "And third, from what my Mom told me about Lombax males with the genes for science and battle, it'd take four of us just to keep up with him. Tell me, when he really got going, how...relaxed...did you get?"
Sasha blushed as she chuckled. "I see your point." Turning away, she noticed Qwark. "Qwark! You're back!" Setting her tea down, she leapt to her feet. "How's Ratchet? And Twilight and Clank? Are they here with you?"
"Much to Ratchet's bad luck, apparently, no," Qwark replied. "Angela...it's...been a while."
"I hear Ratchet adopted you," Angela teased, taking a sip of her tea.
"Indeed!" Qwark confirmed proudly. "Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Copernicus Leslie Qwark Sparkle Gyro-"
Angela's tea promptly wound up all over the wall. "Why the Angela has a self-censor function are you using the name Gyro?" she demanded, plainly shocked and possibly stupefied.
"Because it's Dad's birth name," Qwark explained. "Ratchet Gyro. He learned that when he found the ship Aphelion, built by his father-"
"Kaden Gyro?" Angela interrupted. "Married to Vashiir Gyro?"
Qwark nodded. "Precisely. I take it they were famous?"
"Actually, Vashiir and my mom, Lorna, were best friends," Angela explained. "And it's a good thing I was already intending to join Ratchet's harem...since the last thing my mom told me before Tachyon's war began was that she and Vashiir had arranged an assignation between me and Vashiir's son."
"Lombaxes still practiced arranged marriages with children?" Sasha asked, surprised.
"Only amongst the nobles," Angela replied. "Since your rank in Lombax society was determined by your ability, it was common for the elite to arrange marriages between their children and acclimate them to each other for better relationships starting young, as a way to breed for talent. Of course, careful records were kept to prevent excessive inbreeding between close relations."
"Dad's a Lombax elite?" Qwark asked, shocked. "What was his title?"
"The titles we use don't have exact equivalents in Galactic Standard," Angela explained. "But...relative to ranks...I think it would be...Prince?"
Sasha sank back into the sofa in shock. "...and I thought I'd outgrown all those 'Prince Charming' stories Dad read me as a cub..."
Glancing around, Qwark cleared his throat. "So...is now a bad time to mention that Clank was kidnapped by the Zoni right in front of Twilight?"
"What?" Angela and Sasha both shouted, leaping to their feet...the reaction only somewhat marred by Angela tripping into the table.
"I guess so," Qwark admitted.
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Wow.
That was quite the bomb dropped.
Also I like the subtle tweaks to canon you've done with this series.
P.S. The self censor on Angela was HILARIOUS!!
This is the one thing i kinda wish the games had done. Once the game was over i dont remember seeing the same leading lady ever again( note i never played the psp games) seeing them show up again in any capacity would have been interesting.
Whelp, the Zoni just went from 30 kinds of screwed to 40.
I'm starting to feel bad for the Zoni's future.
Poor Angela... maybe Twi could make her a prosthetic tail?
the reaction only somewhat marred by Angela tripping into the table."
1. Extra closing quotation mark.
6737224
Twi has god tier magic powers. She's a genius savant engineer/scientist. They'd have to write an entire encyclopedia to explain all the pain she's going to bring to bare.
Quite literally: You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry
The sad part is, wats-his-name-time-guardian will most likely get to explain his . . . oh wait no he won't because [SUPER SPOILERS REDACTED]
The poor guy would have been pale as a ghost as all the blood rushed down south. And Twilight would be bouncing up and down that two of her prospective mommies were willing to share her daddy.
6737265 If anyone could do so it would be Twilight.
6737258 Yeah, if Sasha brings all the forces she can to bear against them it will be a very short fight.
...Is Twilight still taking notes on Ratchet's relationships? I got a feeling she's going to need them when she gets back to Equestria and all the stallions are after her.
is Angela's self-censor canon?
6737560
The only swear word said in the entirety of all games is by her, and it gets censored in game.
6737147 IT'S LIKE INDIAN JONES RIGHT!?
That was a lovely interlude. Just enough juicy stuff to make things interesting, while still maintaining a level of decency. Glad to see Sasha and Angela are both totally on board with Twilight's quest for a million mommies.
Interesting to note that Angela was drinking Ratchet's favorite tea. Does this mean that Ratchet gets his taste in teas from her, or does she like it because it reminds her of Ratchet?
Well, that was a funny chapter
6737635
Actually, I meant to imply that Ratchet, in making his favorite blend, accidentally recreated a special Lombax blend.
Or, in essence, she was drinking it because it's a variety that especially appeals to Lomax tastes.
6737366 I have a feeling that her anger is going to be in either the berzerk or tranquil fury categories.
yesss twilight YESSSSSS feed the anger and the hate and embrace the darkside and release the nightmare within!!
also i refuse to call you midnight sparkle if you go nightmare because its stuipid twilight is in between dawn and dusk and dusk and dawn not midnight (fucking twats at hasbro)
Best Chapter so far
Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest For Mommy
Anyone got popcorn?
I can get the drinks so we can watch the Shitstorm thats headed towards the zoni.
Wow. Small universe!
EVERYTHING about the conversation between Angela and Sasha is hilarious! I don't even like dirty jokes that much, but that was still really funny!
Zoni, thou hast fucked up
AHAHAHAHAH MY SIDES!!!
Burns chapter in a supernova.
6737826 I do but I'm afraid it's radioactive.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
6737224
6737258
6738200
Forget the Zoni, think what they're gonna do to Nefarious!
IN THE EXACT CENTER OF THE UNIVERRRRRSE (give or take fifty feet)
6737571 Technically not true. At the beginning of Deadlocked when Ratchet first wakes up to Al fixing up his new suit, Ratchet get quite colorful with his language, though at first it's all just In-Universe curses. However his last line is "And my tail feels like it's shoved right up my-" cue Al disconnecting the voice box on the armor. However barring anything else that would only be a curse in-universe, I can't recall anyone else even coming close to swearing.
6739234 It's ok. i absorb the stuff easily with no negative effect. why?
easy. i have a ton of radaway
So, in relative terms about Twilight's relatives, we have; Ratchet and Clank as the parents, Twilight and Qwark as siblings...and now Ratchet has been declared the equivalent of a prince... is it me or do we now have the equivalent of King Ratchet, Queen Clank, the King's Harem, Prince Qwark and Princess Twilight?
6742664 Twilight will have a lot of explaining to do when she gets back to Equestria.
I guess I'm the only one who thought of Mr. Torgue High-Five Flexington and his self-bleeping vocal implant.
...
EXPLOSIONS!
Even in another darn universe...Twilight still gets to be a princess.
6771191 ur icon has my pony colors, but wrong cutie mark
You know, I do wonder what happened to Angela after Locked and Loaded (that's what it's called here in the UK. Don't judge)...
I hope she didn't die in the future trilogy...
6953915
So Going commando is called Locked and Loaded in the U.K.? Why the name change?
I don't get that; some things make sense, but that's just weird.
That one sounds better anyway, so I am going to judge; the one they used in the U.S. was the stupid one.
7083663 the main reason for the name change was censorship. The name was a bit too on the nose for their taste. So they changed it to something that was more appropriate.
That's it! Ratchet is a friggin Super Saiyan! Prince of the Lombax, wrapped tail disguise, swcience and war race, gold, among the last, and... and... I can't even say the last one because of how dirty it is!
7137177 a play boy or
boy?
The princess is being raised by a prince, how appropriate.
6740634 Vox also swears, twice. Once when complaining about not selling Ace Hardlight merchandise, and later during a commercial when at one point he says "It's time to blow *BEEP* up!"