Ratchet balances saving the galaxy with being the father to a purple alicorn foal. Adorable shenanigans and explosions ensue.
In a remote corner of the Solana Galaxy lies a backwater planet called Veldin. Nothing important ever happens there. Nothing exciting, either. Ratchet, a Lombax with no idea of his origins, is beginning to grow bored with his life, and dreams of excitement. He wishes on a falling star for some excitement to find its way into his life.
The falling star answers by crashing into his home in the form of a basket carrying a tiny creature with a horn, a pair of wings, and four hooves. The name on the basket reads "Twilight Sparkle". ---- Part of the PWNY-verse.
Edit: Now with cover art by the amazing G_Haze Video Consultant/Technician: m2pt5 (he provides the infobot videos and similar.)
Edit: Game Timeline Ratchet and Clank: Done Going Commando: Done Up Your Arsenal: Done Deadlocked: Done. Size Matters: Done. Tools of Destruction: Done. Quest for Booty: Done. Crack in Time: Done. All 4 One: Done. Into the Nexus: Done.
Ratchet lay back on the covered metal table he used as a bed as he stared up through his home's newly installed skylight at the stars. He was proud of that skylight; it was the first thing that size he had made with his own hands that functioned exactly as he intended it to. He held his Omniwrench comfortingly across his chest, letting his mind wander over his 10 years of life.
Veldin was a backwater, agro planet in a far corner of the Solana galaxy. It was a hard environment, and it made the people who lived there hard as well. So the new colony had put forth little effort on the orphaned Lombax that had shown up on their doorstep from the stars. No one there had ever seen a Lombax before, and the only one who had been welcoming had been the colony's nursemaid bot, who took care of the colony's young ones while the adults were working to eke out a living from the unwelcoming soil. She hadn't distinguished between the colonists and Ratchet. To her, he had just been another child she was supposed to take care of.
That had come to an end when Thunder Soldiers sent by some pirates had destroyed her. Ratchet wished he could remember her kind face.
After that, the young ones had been on their own while the adults worked. One of the older ones had established his idea of a pecking order by bullying all the others. He tried to force Ratchet into that order by trying to take Ratchet's Omniwrench. That was when Ratchet discovered his tool could also be a weapon when he instinctively brained the young tough. While the other youngsters had taken his side over the tough's when the adults came back, he was still exiled from the colony as 'a danger to the children'.
He had lived off whatever scraps he could scrounge at night after that, and had developed a bit of distaste for the adults of the colony. However, every so often one of the youngsters would sneak him some extra food or a sweet, so he had a fondness for them. Then one night, he found no scraps as he came in at night. One of the children had told him that Horned Toads had raided the farms, and every last scrap had to be preserved against the damaged harvest, so everything was locked up and everyone was on short rations.
The next day, when the Horned Toads had attacked the farms again, Ratchet attacked them. While the toads moved too fast for the colonists to handle themselves, Ratchet's innate cat like grace combined with his newly discovered ability to sense where the toads were in his immediate surroundings allowed him to completely eradicate the invading Horned Toads while avoiding any damage to the crops whatsoever.
After that, Ratchet was considered an asset to the colony. They gave him an old tool shed just outside the colony to sleep in after clearing it out, and each farm took turns bringing him food and other necessities. In exchange, Ratchet protected the farms from any threats.
This arrangement had continued unchanged until three years back, when the Gadgetron vendor had arrived, trying to make a sale. He offered a Bomb Glove as a way to perfectly defend farms against pests, but no one was buying. After all, they had Ratchet. When Horned Toads had attempted to raid the farms again, the vendor had moved to demonstrate the Bomb Glove, only to witness a demonstration of Ratchet.
The vendor had tried to sell Ratchet the Bomb Glove after that, but Ratchet had no bolts to buy with. The vendor apparently took a shine to Ratchet, as he had gifted him a Bomb Glove, a Gadgetron Help Desk uplink, and arranged to get him a Hunter's Guild license.
The Hunter's Guild was a galaxy wide organization that functioned on a simple premise: if there was something anywhere in the galaxy that was dangerous - or just living - somebody somewhere would pay to have it killed. The Hunter's Guild made contact with those who would pay for something to be killed, negotiate a "per head" price, and then post that to all Guild members, with a discount for Guild processing. All Hunters kept their bolt accounts with the Guild, and bought things electronically. Any bolts that were 'found' by the Hunters - from, say, smashing crates - could immediately be transferred to the account electronically using the Guild License, which also acted as a charge card.
With that, Ratchet was starting to make some bolts, and with that he ordered various non-essentials from Gadgetron. At first it was just the usual child-like desires, such as candy, toys, video games and the like. But as his exposure to things beyond Veldin grew, so did his curiosity, and he began to request other things like holo-books and tech pieces he could put together and assemble, where he discovered his talent for assembling unusual things and technology in general.
As he stared up now at his voice-command skylight, he realized just how small Veldin was, and how much there was out there in the galaxy to see. He realized he was growing bored of Veldin. Beyond that, a greater influx of bolts to the colony - and the power generator he had built for them - had allowed them to protect the farms with electrified fences, which succeeded in deterring the Horned Toads from the crops. So Ratchet realized he really had nothing left to do here. Everything had become so...dull.
He tapped the Help Desk uplink. "Welcome to Gadgetron Help Desk," the feminine voice spoke through the uplink. "How can I assist you today?"
"Is it possible to literally die from boredom?" he asked.
There was silence for a moment and the sound of tapping keys. This wasn't the first esoteric question he had asked the Help Desk, after all, and thankfully she always took them seriously. "...while boredom has been hypothesized to possibly contribute to many neurological and biological conditions that can contribute to an unexpected departure from the mortal coil, there is no evidence that boredom itself can cause death. Will there be anything else today, valued customer?"
"Nah, that'll be all for now," Ratchet said, turning off the uplink. He stared up at the stars through the skylight. Seeing a star shooting across the sky, he decided to do as the children of the colony had talked about, and make a wish. "I wish some excitement would find its way into my life," he whispered to the shooting star.
At that exact moment in a massive station in the Polaris galaxy at the exact center of the universe - give or take 50 feet - an elderly Zoni lifted his hand and froze time. He had just detected a massive quantum anomaly, the likes of which hadn't been seen since the one he'd built this station to correct. Oddly enough, there didn't seem to be anything destructive in the nature of this anomaly, but the scale was something to be concerned with...especially as it was focused on the planet Veldin. While some would claim that such a nowhere backwater planet couldn't possibly be of concern in the grand scheme, he knew that he needed to keep an eye on such worlds for specifically that reason. Planets where things were likely to happen often had people that took care of them. Planets that seemed unimportant, on the other hand, were the perfect places for trouble to grow unchecked. He should know: he had plans for Veldin.
"Orvus, sir," Sigmund said, rushing in as soon as he felt the time stop. "is something the matter?"
"Could be," Orvus muttered. "Could be." Commandeering the nearest viewer, he dragged it to focus in on Veldin and observe time on planet Veldin. There, he saw a point of divergence.
Sigmund gasped. "Divergence! That's...that's not good, right?"
"Actually, it's wonderful news," Orvus said with a sigh of relief. "Given the size of the anomaly I detected, the fact that the result is only a divergence is a great relief. Given the size of the anomaly and how tightly focused it is, I was half expecting the result to be planetary annihilation or worse!" He pulled up the details of the divergence. "Let's see what's happened then, shall we?"
While there were all sorts of proper technical terms for what the divergence actually meant and how to interpret it, Orvus' humorous nature meant that the computers were designed to give him humorous short hand. As such, the two sides of the divergence were labeled 'What Would Have Happened' and 'What is Happening Now'. He called up 'What Would Happen'.
This timeline showed that, with Ratchet's wish ungranted, he would come to the conclusion that if he wanted excitement, he would have to seek it out for himself. This would lead to him saving up all of his bolts towards building his own starship. He'd get all the parts...save a Robotic Ignition and Navigation System. That would be where Orvus' son - who wasn't even made yet - would come into play, with a friendship that would eventually reshape the galaxy.
However, the new timeline showed very little information. All it showed was that somehow Ratchet's wish had been granted, and the entire remainder of the screen had only the term "Unfolding".
"Well, that is interesting," Orvus said, rubbing his chin. "It seems we have a flux point in effect."
"A flux point, sir?" Sigmund asked curiously.
Orvus chuckled. "It means things are going to be fun." He called over a comfortable sofa and shifted the data to the large screen as he took a seat. The data resolved itself into images.
"Popcorn, sir?" Sigmund offered, extending the corn popper that was a part of his structure.
"Please," Orvus said. "And have some yourself. This is going to be fun. Ue-he-he-he-he!" Lowering his hand, he let time flow.
Ratchet's eyes widened as he saw the shooting star seem to stop in the sky and begin to glow brighter. "That's weird," he said. "I'm pretty sure shooting stars don't do that..." As he saw the star grow brighter - and bigger - he gulped. "But falling stars do!" he yelped, running out of the shed.
The star crashed through his skylight in a blaze of light. However, the expected explosion never occurred. "Huh?" With that statement of brilliance, Ratchet turned and went back into the shed. The only sign of the falling star was the hole in the roof...and a glowing basket on the bed. He carefully approached.
The basket was small, exactly the size one would expect someone to leave a baby in on a doorstep. In fact, it was the same size as the pod - now non-functional - that Ratchet had arrived on Veldin in. The real surprise was what was in the basket, a creature like nothing Ratchet had ever seen or read about.
The creature lay on its side, half curled up. It had four legs terminating in hooves. It had a feathered wing folded tightly against its side, and a spiraling horn rising from the center of its forehead. Other than that, it was vaguely equine-like, despite being the size of a domesticated housecat. It was also bright purple, with a mark of six stars on its rump, and the mane and tail were dark purple with a pink stripe.
On the basket was an inscription. Despite having no idea what language the inscription was in, Ratchet could read it plain as day: Twilight Sparkle.
Ratchet tilted his head back and forth. "Is this supposed to happen?" he asked, poking the creature.
Her eyes opened, she looked around scared, and started to cry loudly.
Ratchet clutched his sensitive ears. "If this is excitement, I don't want it anymore!" he yelled out.
Deep within the Great Clock, Orvus laughed again. "Be careful what you wish for, my boy."
Ratchet clutched his ears as the tiny filly continued to wail. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore, and in desperation yelled, "Twilight, stop!"
The tiny filly immediately stopped crying, tilting her head and making a curious sound.
Ratchet blinked. "Huh. Didn't think that would work." He kneeled down by the basket. "So this is your name, then? Twilight Sparkle?"
The filly squeaked in reply. Then her stomach gurgled and her eyes began to wrinkle up again.
"Food!" Ratchet yelled out, running to his fridge. "I've got some steak-no, you're a pony of some sort, you need vegetables. A carrot? No, you're too small, you must be a baby. Milk!" Grabbing the carton of milk, he raced back over to the filly. "Drink up!" he offered, holding the open carton out to her.
She stared at the carton in confusion, then sniffed a bit. She attempted to fit her mouth around the opening eagerly, but it was too wide.
"Right! Glass!" Ratchet dropped the milk onto the bed and raced for the cupboard. "Where do I keep the glasses-wait, I don't have any! What do I-" He paused as he heard happy gurgling.
Turning, he saw that the filly's horn glowed with a purple light. The milk was flowing upwards from the carton with the same color surrounding it, and pouring towards Twilight's mouth in a steady stream as she drank it up. Ratchet stared in absolute silence as he watched, hardly believing what he was seeing. "Well," he whispered, "I'd read some sophonts(1) had telekinetic abilities. She must be one."
At that point, Twilight apparently had finished her milk, and burped happily. The light around her horn suddenly flared, and the milk still in her grip burst into flame and exploded. Twilight giggled at the light show.
Ratchet wiped the cooked milk from his face. "Pretty potent abilities, too." He then opened his eyes wide as the foal's wings began to buzz and she lifted into the air, zipping around his head. "And she can fly too. Great." He proceeded to chase after her, trying to catch her. Twilight continued to giggle as she zipped around until she collided with his bookcase. She fell to the ground, covered in a pile of holo-books. Ratchet braced himself for crying, but was instead greeted with a squeal of delight. Looking back, Ratchet saw Twilight curled on top of the pile of holo-books, with one sitting open as she scanned it, practically cuddling another to her chest. "I guess she likes books, too."
He sat back watching her. "I'm way out of my depth," he muttered. "I really ought to take you into town and see if someone else can care for you..." His voice trailed off as he remembered how the colony had greeted him and his own orphan status. And this time, there was no Nursemaid Bot to take her in. "...I guess that's my job, then," he whispered, pressing the Gadgetron Help Desk Uplink again.
"This is the Gadgetron Help Desk," the voice on the other end began. "How can I assist you today?"
"I've come across a sophont I don't recognize," Ratchet said, using the camera function on the uplink to send the help desk a picture of Twilight. "Anything you can tell me about her?"
There was silence for a time. "Image matching has come up with three possible matches for creature type of the unknown sophont. Two are marked as Old Earth Science/Fantasy. One is marked as Old Earth Children's Fantasy. Which references would you like?"
Ratchet stared. "Nothing outside of Fiction?" he asked plaintively.
"Negative."
He sighed. "What are the two Science/Fantasy references?"
"Flight of the Pegasus, a work scientifically analyzing the flight capabilities of the mythical creature called 'Pegasus', author unknown. Spells of the Unicorn, a work scientifically analyzing the magic abilities of the mythical creature called 'Unicorn'."
Ratchet tilted his head. "How do those match-"
"A Pegasus is described in Old Earth Mythology as a winged equine capable of flight. A Unicorn is described in Old Earth Mythology as a horned Equine capable of magical feats, not the least of which was telekinetic manipulation of their environment."
Ratchet nodded. "Huh." He looked at Twilight. "Guess you must be some sort of crossbreed. How much for those two references?"
"30 bolts per book, plus 20 blots shipping and handling each."
Ratchet nodded. "...what was that third one, marked Children's Fantasy?"
"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, filed under video media and holo-comic."
"Yeah, that one's not going to help me," Ratchet groaned. "I'll take the two Science/Fantasy ones."
"The charge has been filed to your account. The requested references will arrive in three days. Thank you for your business."
Ratchet turned off the uplink. "Well, Twilight, what are we supposed to do now?"
Twilight held up the book she was holding, and made an entreating sound.
Ratchet chuckled. "I guess you want me to read to you, huh?" As Twilight squeed happily, Ratchet took the book and opened it up. Twilight curled up in his lap where she could see the pages. Putting his finger to the words, he began reading. "The Epic Adventures of Captain Quark: Chapter 1, the Unbelievable Origins..."
Ratchet had gone through seven chapters by the time Twilight had finally fallen asleep, clutching the book to her fuzzy chest. He leaned back as he watched her sleep. "Well, at least I know how to get her to sleep. Better be prepared to see what else I might need to do for her..."
Picking up a notepad and pencil, he began writing out everything he thought she might need based on what he knew so far. He covered everything he could from dietary issues to grooming needs to toilet related issues. He couldn't decide whether she would need diapers or a sandbox. He eventually settled on diapers and toilet training, as he figured it would be easier to invent an automatic diaper changing machine than a sandbox that would stay clean and scentless. He then went down the list and marked off which he could provide for her with his own skills and which he would have to buy.
As he finished totaling up how much he'd have to spend for her, he sighed. "Guess I can kiss saving up for the new game console goodbye," he said to himself. He glanced over to where she was sucking on the corner of the holo-book, and couldn't help but smile. "Then again, I'm sure I'll get plenty of fun out of you, right? Probably won't have time for video games for years..."
He leaned back as he looked at the list again as that settled in on him. He was literally dedicating his entire life to an unknown sophont who had shown up on his doorstep, one that was literally a brand new species as far as the galaxy was concerned. He could probably get into contact with some scientists, hand her over to them, and get enough bolts to have him be set for life whatever his choice of life style and home. Besides, the scientists would probably be able to figure out how to take care of her better...
He actually thought about that for a time. Would she be better off with scientists who cared more about what they could learn from her than her own health and well being? The answer to that was obvious. She'd be best off with someone who would actually care for her.
And right at this moment, that group totaled one.
Sighing, he walked over and covered her up with a blanket, stroking her head. She nuzzled his hand in her slumber. He couldn't help but smile at that. "Don't worry, Twilight," he said softly. "I'll take care of you."
The purple pony smiled in her sleep, curling up tighter to around the book and under the blanket. Ratchet sat back, slowly nodding off as he watched her slumber.
(1) Sophont - a general term for a sapient/sentient alien being. Adopted when the diversity of life in the known universe expanded to include people who were not exactly people, by the traditional definition of person. Borrowed from the Phule's Company novels by Robert Asprin.
Ratchet smiled as he looked up from his mechanics work as Twilight awoke crying. "Well, it looks like my sound-filtering headphones work," he said, turning towards the little filly. "Now it's time to try my other new invention." Walking over, he scooped Twilight up into his arms.
Twilight looked up at him with a frown. Her magic aura seized the headphones off his head and hurled them across the room where they shattered before she started bawling again, gesturing to the soggy diaper hanging from her hindquarters.
Ratchet winced. "Need to work a bit on structural integrity, though," he said, carrying her over to the device he'd been working on. "Time to test this."
Twilight took in the device somewhat nervously. In the center was a large circular brace, surrounded by several folded metal arms with various tools attached to them, a large linen chest, and a waste basket. Twilight obviously did not like the looks of the device.
"And there we go," Ratchet said, setting her in the brace. A padded balloon inside the brace inflated until it held Twilight gently but firmly with her diapered hindquarters underneath the brace. "Comfy?" he asked Twilight.
Twilight wriggled around. The brace actually did hold her quite comfortably, but she plainly didn't like the device.
"Don't worry, Twilight, it'll be over quick," Ratchet reassured her, switching the device on.
The arms began to move, and Twilight froze in fear. The first set of arms used laser cutters to remove her diaper efficiently without touching coat or skin. Another arm caught the soiled diaper as it fell with the waste bin, which released a gout of flame as the diaper was instantly incinerated. Other arms swooped in, gently and carefully wiping up any extra mess before applying baby powder to prevent rash. A last set of arms pulled out the new diaper from the linen chest and wrapped it around her to the mechanically precise comfortable fit. The arms then retracted, and the brace lowered until Twilight's hind hooves touched the floor. The balloon then deflated before the brace lifted up over Twilight, leaving her to brace herself once more on all fours before the machine shut down.
"It works!" Ratchet said happily, pumping his fist into the air. "The Daipertron is a success! Now I can sell the design to Gadgetron, and make enough money to cover quite a few of your expenses, Twilight! Isn't that wonderful?"
Twilight looked up at the machine, then down at her diaper, then up at Ratchet. She made a sad sounding inquiry.
Ratchet kneeled down. "What's wrong, Twilight?" he asked, resting his hand on her shoulder. She shifted her body so his hand was on her diaper. "What, is the machine not a personal enough touch?" Twilight nodded vigorously. Ratchet blinked. "Well, your grasp of language is certainly more advanced than I expected," he commented as he rubbed his chin. Twilight happily pointed to the holo-books. He chuckled. "Well, you are an avid reader."
He sat back, looking at his machine. "Maybe I should add a voice chip to the Diapertron Mark 2, programmed to pick from a selection of soothing statements to say during changing so the it feels more personal to the infant." He started to make a note of that.
Twilight made a sad bleating noise, butting his hand with her head as she put his leg between her and the machine.
Ratchet looked down at this. "Don't like the machine at all, huh?"
Twilight shook her head, nudging Ratchet's hand again.
Ratchet shook his head. "No Twilight. The whole point of this was so that I don't have to change your diaper by hand. More sanitary that way." When Twilight pouted at him, he sighed. "No, Twilight, I'm not budging on this." Her lip began to quiver. "Alright," he caved. "Tell you what: when you can handle your toilet related issues without a diaper, then you don't have to use the Diapertron anymore. How's that sound?"
Twilight's horn promptly glowed, and her diaper shredded itself.
Ratchet blinked. "I'm going to be heading to town to get a few things for you. If you make a mess while I'm gone, I expect you to clean it up."
Twilight squeaked happily as she trotted over to one of the holo-books. Sighing, Ratchet grabbed his bolt card and headed into town.
When Ratchet returned, his arms full of grocery bags, he found Twilight on the front lawn, doing her business in a divot she had dug with her forehooves. "Twilight, that's not what I meant-"
As soon as Twilight finished her business, she wiped herself with a levitated piece of toilet paper and dropped it into the divot, then turned to face it. Her horn glowed, and a bolt of lightning struck from her horn to the divot, incinerating the contents and leaving a sweet-smelling pile of ash behind.
Ratchet stared at what had happened as Twilight headed back into the shed they called home. "Not quite what I meant, but I won't complain about her toilet training herself," he said with a shrug. He then walked in, setting the bags down. "Well, I got some bottles for milk, a masher to turn local vegetables into baby food for you, and a special surprise for you!" He turned around, then frowned. "Hey! That's my wrench!"
Twilight was curled up on the pile of holo-books, hugging Ratchet's Omniwrench to her. At Ratchet's complaint, she turned, holding it closer to her and sucking on one side of the wrench head.
"Hey!" Ratchet complained again. Rushing forward, he grabbed the handle and gave a tug. "Mine!"
"Nyeh!" Twilight complained, clutching the wrench with forehooves and magic.
"Mine!" Ratchet said again, tugging.
"Nyeh!" Twilight mewled, tugging back.
"Mine!"
"Nyeh!"
"Mine!"
"Nyeh!"
"Get...your...own!" Ratchet growled, tugging harder on the wrench.
Twilight blinked, then made a happy squeal. Her horn flashed brightly.
Ratchet fell back, his Omniwrench clutched in his hands. Twilight tumbled backwards off the pile of holo-books, clutching an identical Omniwrench. "Twilight, you okay?" Ratchet asked in concern, rushing over to her.
She held up the second Omniwrench happily, looking up at him for approval.
Ratchet held his wrench up to the duplicate, comparing it in every detail. Seeing that they were completely identical, he realized they needed some way to tell them apart. As an idea struck him, he held up his. "Mine," he said. Reaching into a drawer, he quickly made a decal in the design of the mark on Twilight's rear, the purple and white star surrounded by five small white stars. He stuck the decal to the head of Twilight's wrench. "Yours," he said firmly.
Twilight squealed happily, hugging him while she gripped the wrench in a purple glow that matched the glow of her horn.
"Huh," Ratchet said as he returned the hug. "Didn't know you could manipulate objects like that without blowing them up." He grinned. "So...want to see your surprise?"
"Yeh!" Twilight squealed happily, bouncing around him in a circle. "Yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh!"
Ratchet chuckled, reaching into one of the bags. "Well, you know how you really liked those Captain Quark stories?" Twilight nodded her head vigorously. "Well...ta-dah!" Ratchet pulled an official Captain Quark plushy out of the bag, the perfect size for Twilight to cuddle at night.
Twilight squealed even happier, yanking the plushy to her in more of her purple energy before snuggling it.
"You're welcome," Ratchet chuckled, petting her head.
To his surprise, she released the plushy to leap upward and hug him around his neck. "Takoo, Dada!" she said, nuzzling him.
He couldn't help but smile as he hugged her back. "Happy to do it, Twi," he said. Twilight then hopped down and grabbed a holo-book before beginning to read to Quark in her baby talk. Ratchet smiled rather goofily. "She...she called me Dada..."
Ratchet had headed out to hunt more Horned Toads and Thunder Soldiers wandering around to earn some more bolts so he could pay for the next shipment of holo-books from Gadgetron. The reason they needed more holo-books was because Twilight had already read through all those Ratchet had, including the instruction manuals. While Ratchet had tried to suggest she reread some books or even play some video games, she had thrown a hissy fit. She wanted more books. Ratchet had agreed, but had to go out and earn more bolts to pay for it.
Twilight had tried to pass the time in other ways. She'd tried playing pretend with her Captain Quark plushy, but there were only so many times she could enjoy punching out Dr. Nefarious' latest super weapon - represented by anything from pieces of fruit and vegetable to a holo-book to a chair - before she realized that playing pretend about Captain Quark was depressingly linear. Unfortunately, she couldn't find anything to pretend to be a dragon for Captain Quark to tame and ride, and beyond that it wasn't canon to his adventure stories.
She'd tried playing video games, but hadn't enjoyed herself. She couldn't manipulate the controller with her hooves, and manipulating it directly with her telekinesis took ninety percent of the challenge out, since she was able to react with her brain faster and more accurately than anyone else could react with their fingers. And Ratchet's interest in games leaned very strongly towards action and explosions, while Twilight's interests lay heavily in the story. Since she hadn't actually vocalized that to Ratchet yet, they didn't have any RPGs. And her favorites of the games they had were the multiplayers, and that was because she enjoyed playing with Ratchet.
She wasn't hungry, so she couldn't ease her boredom with stuffing her face. Her attempt at taming a Horned Toad as a pet had backfired horribly, as had her attempt to reprogram a Thunder Soldier as a butler/bodyguard. Those two had actually happened at the same time, though she denied any chance the two events were related. Even Spells of the Unicorn had lost her interest after she had mastered everything it had to offer.
In desperation, she grabbed the Gadgetron Uplink and started browsing. Maybe she'd find something on their main site that could interest her. Although she had just finished browsing everything on the site earlier that day - finishing that had led to the hissy fit - there was always the chance there was something new to look at now.
As she browsed, ignoring everything she'd already seen, she saw something interesting. It was labeled, "New Products in Testing". Curiously, she selected the hyperlink.
The screen responded. "Restricted Access: Input your password to access."
Twilight blinked in confusion. "...Please?" she asked finally.
"Password accepted."
As the screen loaded, Twilight gasped. "Wow. Daddy was right about that being the magic word!" She began scrolling through the products that were still in testing and development, marveling at the technology. However, when she reached one, she noticed something odd in the schematics. "...that can't be right..." She grabbed the help desk uplink.
"This is the Gadgetron Help Desk," the voice immediately spoke up. "How can we assist you today, valued customer?"
"Can you connect me to the work phone of Doctor Splodeya?" she asked. "Please?"
"Of course, Twilight," the voice replied. "One moment."
Twilight smiled. For some reason, the lady at the help desk had a soft spot for her, and always called her by name.
When the line came back, a heavily accented female Russian voice spoke. "This is Doctor Splodeya. What do you want?"
"Hi, I was calling about your Lightning Arc weapon," Twilight explained.
"It's still in development," she replied. "It will be ready in-"
"By any chance, is the problem in development because you keep getting a cascade failure in the proton flux chamber, resulting in the prototype exploding and releasing an EMP, which coincidentally erases any data you've managed to gather from the tests on your computers?"
There was silence for a time. "D...da. But I am thinking maybe turn it to an advantage by making it into EMP grenades, so I might still do well on employee review."
"Have you considered inverting the charge in the proton collection chamber to apply a negative charge to the protons so they repulse the connected electrons?" Twilight offered.
The voice was silent again. "That...that would stop the cascade failure issue...but then the energized protons go out back of chamber-"
"And if you feed the exhaust port back into the energizing chamber, the resulting electrical discharge will be twice as destructive, more controllable, as well as damage nearby targets instead of just what was shot. It would also increase ammo storage, and at only a 10% increase in production costs," Twilight pointed out happily.
"I...I...I..." There was the sound of someone slapping their cheeks. "That is genius! Who are you?"
"I'm Twilight Sparkle," Twilight replied.
"No, I mean are you new development team? New boss?"
"Oh, I don't work for Gadgetron," Twilight said quickly. "My Dad's a customer."
"You don't?" Dr. Splodeya asked, shocked. "Why not?"
"Well...I'm only three and a half years old."
"But...then how did you get access to the In-Development pages?"
"I said please?" Twilight offered.
After a few moments, the doctor's laugh echoed over the speaker. "Tell you what, Twilight. If you can get your parent or guardian to sign off on it, I'll grease the wheels and paperwork so you can have regular access to the in-development projects, or even submit your own. How does that sound?"
Twilight grinned widely. "Sounds like I'll never be bored again!" she said happily.
"I'll message the papers over. Get your parent or guardian's electronic signature, and then I can put your name down as a consultant on this project and send the completed design up the chain."
"Yay!" Twilight cheered happily, clapping with her forehooves. "Thank you, Dr. Splodeya!"
"Please, call me Ivanna," the doctor replied.
Twilight blinked for a bit. "Your name's...Ivanna Splodeya?"
"My mother Gonna was so pleased to marry into the family, she named all of us as jokes."
Twilight blinked. "What could her last name have been before that was so terrible?"
"Rhea. I'll send the paperwork right over. Hope to consult again Twilight."
"Okay, Ivanna!" she replied happily as the call ended. As the papers arrived electronically, she tilted her head. "Gonna...Rhea? I don't get it..."
An hour later, when Ratchet made it back, Twilight bounced over to him. "Daddy!" she said happily. "You're back!"
Ratchet kneeled down to pet her. "I was only gone two hours," he pointed out.
"It felt like forever!" she said plaintively. "Can I make things explode for a living?"
Ratchet chuckled. "If you can get that as a job, sure. And maybe sign me up."
"Sign here!" she replied, holding up the tablet with the paperwork on it.
Blinking, Ratchet looked it over. "Let's see...10% royalties on all sales of original inventions...5% on all sales of products consulted on...10% off all Gadgetron purchases...exclusive distribution...comes with Hunter's Guild License...selection of product testers..." His eyes lit up. "Hey! You can choose who they send the prototypes to to test out the inventions you make for them!"
"I pick my Daddy!" she said happily.
Ratchet grinned widely. "Well, type that in here," he directed, pointing to where it needed to be filled in. Once Twilight filled it in, he scrolled down further. "...can be renegotiated at 18 when the undersigned comes of age...standard non-compete clause...yup, looks like everything's in order." Scrolling to the bottom, he signed it. "There you go, Twilight. You're now an official Gadgetron independent technical consultant."
"Yay!" Twilight cheered, bouncing up and down. "I'm gonna make things explode! I'm gonna make things explode!"
"Actually, you're going to make things that make things explode," Ratchet pointed out. "I'm the one who gets to make things explode."
Twilight stopped, blinking in confusion. "...I get to make Daddy?"
Ratchet chuckled. "No, you get to make Daddy look awesome!"
Twilight squeed happily, bouncing into Ratchet's arms for a big hug.
Twilight lay back on the roof of the shed, staring up at the stars. She'd recently read a few books about the expansion of civilization, and so Ratchet was teaching her about astronavigation. Right now, he was pointing out the stars he knew, telling her about the planets that orbited them, and telling her the names that those who had colonized Veldin had given to the constellations. She found the names of the constellations the most amusing.
"And that one there is the Penny Pinching Poopyhead," he said, pointing to one that looked vaguely humanoid, "named, as promised in the original colonization contract, after the head of the company that signed on the colonists. And that one is the Rapacious Ravager," he continued, pointing to another roughly humanoid one, "named after the guy who shows up each year to collect the percentage of the crops and profits the colonists owe the company."
Twilight giggled happily. "And that one that looks like a fat ball with tentacles?"
"The Little Angel, named after the colonial governor's daughter."
Twilight blinked. "Umm..."
"He let his son pick the star group," Ratchet explained.
Twilight couldn't help but laugh. "You know a lot about the stars, Daddy," she said happily.
Ratchet scratched the back of his head. "Actually...I've kinda been making up the bit about the constellations to entertain you. The colonists never made any up."
"You mean like what you told me about the tooth fairy?" Twilight asked, turning her head to look him in the eye.
He chuckled, remembering what had happened three months back when Twilight had lost her first tooth and he'd tried to give her the story of the tooth fairy.
Ratchet tiptoed carefully across the shed, doing his best to avoid brushing into anything that might awaken the slumbering filly in the bed on the other side of the single room of the shed from his bed. Clutched in his hand was a 50 bolt washer, which Twilight could easily transfer into her Gadgetron bank account. It's not that she needed the bolts, but it was part of the Tooth Fairy tradition, which Ratchet was determined to give Twilight so she could have a bit of the childish innocence and wonder he never got. He'd considered Santa Claus for Christmas, but Twilight had pointed out two problems with the concept. One, Santa Claus was based in Old Earth, and even with faster than light travel and time dilation, it was physically impossible to visit every child on every planet in the Solana Galaxy, let alone the others, not to mention that the definition of "good" differed from race to race (and if Santa was only for humans, it didn't apply to either of them since they weren't human). Second, they had no chimney.
As he carefully approached the bed, his foot came down on a blanket on the floor, and he heard a click. "What the-"
A net suddenly shot up to the ceiling, wrapping him up as several energy projectors sprang out of the floor and began giving off various wavelengths of energy directed at the net. Several guns also dropped out of the ceiling to point at the net and its contents.
Twilight sat up in the bed, grinning. "Gotcha! Don't bother trying to escape, these projectors negate all known forms of teleportation, phase shifting, and other forms of manipulating the fabric of reality-" She paused. "Daddy? You aren't the Tooth Fairy. Why are you in the Tooth Fairy trap?"
"Uh..." Ratchet answered, trying to figure out a way to answer this without destroying any chance for Twilight to have a sense of childish wonder.
Unseen to both of them, a Zoni teleported in and, with a scarcely audible "Whee!" acted on his leader's orders to swap Twilight's tooth for a tiny white egg that ticked away to the rhythm of the universal heartbeat. He then teleported out unnoticed with the tooth.
Twilight frowned at Ratchet. "You still haven't told me what you did with my tooth, or where you got the egg," she complained.
"I keep telling you, Twilight, I didn't do that!" Ratchet threw his hands up in exasperation. "I can't make anything that tiny!"
Twilight blinked. "But Daddy...if you didn't make the ticking egg...who did? And...who took my tooth?"
"The Tooth Fairy?" Ratchet suggested. "Twilight, there is a lot about the universe that we don't know or understand...and you're part of it. It's no wonder inexplicable things happen to you."
Twilight wriggled on her back on the roof of the shed, scratching an itch. "I want the universe to make sense..." she grumbled petulantly.
Ratchet chuckled. "It would be great if we had all the answers. Like 'why are we here?'"
Twilight blinked a bit. "Why are we here?" she asked.
"We're stargazing," Ratchet joked.
"Not what I meant," Twilight countered. "It's...you said this is a colony world, right?"
Ratchet nodded. "Yep."
"So...no one is actually native to this world?"
"Nope."
"Not even us?"
Ratchet shook his head. "I showed you the basket you arrived in, and the pod I arrived in. Neither of us came from here originally."
"Then...where did we come from?" Twilight asked sorrowfully.
"Well, I know I'm a Lombax," Ratchet replied. "Apparently, the Lombaxes had a presence in the Bogon Galaxy next Stellar Cluster over, which is how we know about them here in Solana...but no one's seen one - besides me - for over a decade. As for you...the only data on you is in those books of Old Earth Fiction that I used to teach you to tap your magic." He didn't really like calling her abilities 'magic', but she did, so he let her have her way.
"But..." Twilight shrunk in on herself. "If...if the only information on me is fiction...does that mean I'm not real? That I'm...from some sort of story, brought to life by a wish on a star like Pinocchio?"
Ratchet blinked. He had never considered the possibility that Twilight had somehow been created to grant his wish. And, after thinking about it now, he refused to consider it. "In all likelihood, your people made contact with humans briefly so far back in their history that only myths and legends made it through to modern day." He wrapped an arm around her as he pointed out to the stars with the other. "Listen Twilight...somewhere out there is a star. Orbiting that star is a planet. And on that planet is the home of your people, where you come from. And someday...I'm going to take you there."
Twilight blinked away the start of tears, looking up into his face. "R-really?" she asked hopefully.
Ratchet smiled. A couple years back, Twilight had come up with a promise that she declared was an unbreakable vow, a promise that could never be broken. Ratchet had no idea where it had come from, but he enjoyed how cute it was, and was happy to use it to reassure her. "Cross my heart," he said, crossing his hand over his chest. "Hope to fly," he added, flapping his hands like wings. "Stick a cupcake in my eye," he concluded, covering one eye with his hand.
Twilight smiled. "Thank you, Daddy," she said happily, nuzzling into his side.
Ratchet gently stroked her mane as he held her close. Well, he thought to himself, I always wanted to build a spaceship.
Ratchet stepped back as he finished tightening a bolt inside the ship he and Twilight had spent the past year building. The bright blue bulbous vessel was rather ungainly looking, and the engines seemed somewhat undersized for the vessel, and the cockpit canopy was rather large, but at least it appeared functional. "Well, Twilight," he said, "what do you think? How does it look?"
Twilight stuck her head out of the cockpit where she'd been working on something with her wrench. "Looks great Dad," she said, the glow of her horn showing her focus was still on her work.
"Come on, Twilight," Ratchet complained. "Come out here and take a real look."
Sighing, Twilight hopped out of the cockpit and trotted over beside him, turning to look at the ship. "It looks...shipy?" Twilight suggested.
"Come on, Twi," Ratchet nudged, "give me an honest assessment. I can take it."
Twilight gave the ship a once over. As a surprising urge towards brutal honesty filled her, she found herself saying, "Dad, it...looks like it's held together by bubble gum, duct tape, and wishful thinking."
Ratchet suppressed his wince. The truth of the matter was, due to a banking error on his part, their shipment of parts had lacked the full amount of sealant they needed to hold all the parts of the ship together, and he'd had to improvise. Some of the internal engine components and the landing gear were held together on the inside with space-duty duct tape, and the seats in the cockpit were affixed to the floor with pre-chewed Mega Bubble Super Chew Bubble Gum, which had been scientifically proven to be impossible to remove from a surface once it had dried and affixed. "Well, there is a lot of talk about the power of positive thinking," he offered lamely.
"I said wishful thinking, Daddy," Twilight pointed out with a smile.
"Let's see what the last step is," Ratchet said quickly, touching his Gadgetron Help Desk interface.
"Final step," the voice intoned, "attach Robotic Ignition System." Twilight and Ratchet both groaned. "Thank you for using Help Desk Technology."
Ratchet sighed. "Robotic Ignition System? Those things are expensive! Not to mention difficult to come by."
"Maybe I can build one?" Twilight offered. "I mean, how much harder can it be to make than the gadgets I've made?"
"Twilight," Ratchet groaned, raising a gloved hand. The circuitry in the glove glowed with a blue light. A nearby water bottle was surrounded with a matching glow, and flew to the glove. It was Twilight's latest invention for Gadgetron, the Power Glove Gadget. Using specially designed circuitry inlaid with energy conducting crystals, it generated an energy field that mimicked her basic telekinesis. However, the base design couldn't lift anything over 10 pounds, and could only pick things up, move them, and put them down, or to call something to your hand. Ratchet primarily used it to grab tools, food, drinks, or to recall his Omniwrench when he threw it at enemies. Ratchet took a drink as he gathered his thoughts. "Twilight, as amazing as your gadgets are, robotics is a very different field to work with. We'd do better earning enough money to order one...unless one happens to fall out of the sky."
At that exact moment, a dark brown ship screamed through the atmosphere overhead to crash in the distance on the Plateau. "What was that?" Twilight asked in shock.
Thinking back to a similar moment exactly six years ago, he chuckled. "Deja Vu," he said quietly.
"Eh?" Twilight asked in confusion.
"In all likelihood, our Robotic Ignition System," Ratchet elaborated. "Come on, let's check it out!"
As Ratchet loped off, Twilight took off after him. "Wait! What do you mean deja vu? How has this happened before?"
As they ran together, taking the occasional pot shot at either horned toads or thunder soldiers that got in their way, Ratchet explained. "Remember how I told you about how you arrived? Well, it actually happened just after I'd asked the universe for excitement in my life. Not moments later, your basket crashed through my skylight and you woke up crying."
Twilight blinked. "So I'm exciting then?" Absently, she seized a Thunder Soldier in her magical aura just before it fired it's electric discharge, spinning it around so it destroyed several of its fellows and a group of horned toads before she casually tore it in half.
Ratchet chuckled. "Definitely. And now I ask the universe for a Robotic Ignition System, talking about it dropping out of the sky, and a ship crashes?"
Twilight smiled. "I see your point. We should check for survivors, though."
Ratchet nodded. "True. But it didn't look like there was anyone in control. Which means it's finders keepers."
Twilight giggled. "I'm gonna keep more!" she cried happily, racing forward.
"Hey, wait up!" Ratchet called, loping after her.
Before long, they reached the crash site. The pieces of the ship were scattered about, a few large chunks and several smaller pieces. In the center was a small robot the size of a large lunchbox or a small backpack. It had a boxy main body and a round head, and all of its limbs were pulled in so only the blocky hands and feet stuck out, somewhat reminiscent of a turtle. It was obviously off line.
Ratchet picked up the robot. "Well, this might be worth something...or at least be useful."
Twilight levitated all the pieces of the ship up in her magical grip. "I'm going to see if I can't make a Robotic Ignition System out of these," she said, heading off with all her salvage.
Ratchet stared for a bit. He'd seen Twilight effortlessly lift a great deal with her magic, as she insisted on calling it. He thought he had gotten used to it. However, seeing her lift somewhere between 500 and 1000 pounds of spaceship junk in three large pieces and dozens of smaller ones that effortlessly was unnerving, to say the least. "Does she even have limits?" he muttered under his breath in wonder as he followed.
His power returned slowly, his circuitry once more coming active. Internally, he was rather surprised. He hadn't expected to survive the crash of his stolen ship. Opening his eyes, he saw what his systems recognized as a Lombax at work on a rather slipshod looking vessel. He approached the Lombax from behind, examining his work. "Interesting," he said at last.
"Wah!" the Lombax shouted, falling backwards off the crate he was standing on.
"You appear to be quite handy with your wrench," he continued, undeterred by his conversational companion's antics.
The Lombax stood up, brushing himself off. "You bet!" he affirmed. "Twilight and I built that ship together."
He turned to fix his gaze on the ship for a time, then turned back. "Currently I am in search of someone to assist me in saving the solar system-"
"ARRRGH!" a shout echoed from nearby. Large pieces of shrapnel he recognized as being pieces from his ship were propelled violently towards the upper atmosphere. "It's not fair!" the voice wailed. A lavender miniature equine bearing horn and wings stepped out of the nearby shed which had apparently been modified into a house.
"What's wrong, Twilight?" the Lombax asked, going to rest a hand on the pony's neck.
"I discovered I actually could use the pieces of the ship to make the Robotic Ignition System we need to get our ship running," she explained, nuzzling into the Lombax's side, "but the circuitry and parts from the ship are too big! The completed system would be larger than the cockpit, and then it would only be good as a pilotless drone." She burrowed her face into his furry stomach. "Sorry I messed up, Daddy," she whimpered.
"Hey, it's okay," he replied, holding her close. "I didn't think it was possible with those parts. It's okay to fail sometimes, Twilight."
The young robot tilted his head as he heard this interchange. "I beg your pardon," he told them, "but I couldn't help but overhearing your conversation regarding your ship's missing components. I believe we can assist each other. I happen to be equipped with the latest in Robotic Ignition Systems-"
"You are?" Twilight said eagerly, leaping forward. "Can I see? Maybe if I can examine a miniaturized System I can figure out how to make one that small!" She began poking at his internal compartment flap.
"Excuse me, Miss," he interrupted her, shifting his hands to block her endeavors, "but I would rather not have you poking through my internal systems unless you are a registered roboticist."
Twilight frowned, turning around and stomping her feet. "Stupid arbitrary ethics tests and bureaucratic loopholes..."
"Is there a problem?" he asked the Lombax.
"When she was three and a half, she got a job as a consultant for Gadgetron designing weapons and gadgets," the Lombax explained. "A few months back, when she learned about the field of robotics, she tried to get registered to work in it. However, one of the questions on the ethics test is 'Have you ever designed or built a weapon of destructive category 3 or greater?' When she answered yes, she automatically failed the test."
"It's not fair!" Twilight complained. "Gadgetron cancelled the RYNO project and sold the blueprints when meeting safety protocols caused it to exceed the cost/effectiveness parameters!"
The Lombax rolled his eyes, apparently having heard this tirade before. "And then she learned that there was nothing in the rules that prevented roboticists from creating weapons of that level after they're certified."
"Bureaucratic hypocrites!" she shouted in anger, wrapping a violet aura around a large boulder and hurling it into the nearby canyon where it smashed into the wall with a satisfyingly loud cacophony.
The Lombax shook his head. "Say, weren't you saying something about saving the solar system?"
Hearing this, Twilight pointed to a poster of Captain Quark. "He could probably help."
The young robot nodded. "I was hoping you could assist me in finding him."
"Why do you need him, anyway?" the Lombax asked.
Opening his interior compartment, he allowed the infobot to de-miniaturize and play it's message.
"The people on those planets are hosed!" the Lombax proclaimed as the infobot finished displaying its information. "Good luck getting Captain Quark to help you-"
"Oh can we help him, Daddy?" Twilight begged. "Please, please, please? If we go with him, we might get to meet Captain Quark!" Her eyes shone with eagerness.
The Lombax chuckled. "Well...I suppose it couldn't hurt. We were trying to get out into the stars anyway, and that's as good a place to start as any to keep my promise."
As Twilight danced with joy, the young robot tilted his head in confusion. He didn't follow that train of conversation. Discarding his confusion, he continued. "If you can use your ship to get me to the coordinates contained in the infobot, I might be able to gather further information there."
"And in return you start the ship up so we can go where we need to? Deal." The Lombax extended his hand to shake.
The young robot accepted the handshake. At that moment, two Blargian pursuit craft landed nearby. "We had best hurry, sir," he pointed out.
Twilight glanced towards the two ships, then looked up. "3...2...1..."
A loud whistling filled the air. The two pieces of the ship she had launched upwards in frustration crashed into the two craft from above, crushing cockpit and engines in fiery explosions.
Twilight pulled out her hunter's guild license. "Sweet! 25,000 bolts each! Pity they won't implement the 'Skill Kill' rules till next year. Bet I'd have gotten a major bonus for that!"
The young robot tilted his head. "You appear to be quite skilled, Miss."
Twilight shook her head. "Don't call me Miss. I'm only 6. Call me Twilight."
"Of course, Miss-"
"I'm serious," she insisted. "Call me Twilight."
The young robot tilted his head. "Why is that so important?"
"Because if you call me Miss, that means we're strangers, and I'm not allowed to go anywhere with a stranger, and that means you can't start our spaceship and we're all grounded."
The young robot blinked as he pondered this. "Your logic is sound. What are your names?"
"I'm Ratchet," the Lombax spoke up. "This is Twilight Sparkle."
"Call me Twilight," the filly requested. "What's your name?"
"A pleasure to make your acquaintances, Ratchet, Twilight. My serial number is B5429671."
Twilight shook her head. "Nope, can't go with that. Organic minds, with rare exception, aren't suited to casual memorization of strings of numbers and letters that can't be turned into words. You'll need a name."
"A valid point. What name would you suggest?"
"I'ma call you Clank, cause that's the sound you made when Daddy dropped you on the way back from the crash site!" Twilight smiled widely as she proclaimed this.
The young robot frowned, about to protest. Ratchet rested a hand on his arm. "Look, Clank, you'd best get used to that name, and I'll tell you why. Twilight is young, enthusiastic, and stubborn. Unless you yell at her and make her cry - which you may not do - she's going to continue to call you Clank, introduce you to everyone we meet as Clank, and never let it go until it sticks. So you might as well accept it."
"Besides," Twilight pointed out, "it's hardly the worst thing I could have named you. Imagine being called Schadenfruede, for example."
After thinking for a time, the newly christened Clank nodded. "I suppose you are right. I believe I can get used to the name. Very distinctive, at any rate."
Ratchet grinned. "In that case everyone...all aboard!" With that, he hopped into the pilot's seat of the ship, Twilight following to lay down in the backseat.
Clank climbed into the shotgun seat, using his Robotic Ignition System to activate the ship. It slowly rose into the air, and then shot towards space.
After a far too brief stint in space, during which Twilight and Ratchet both marveled at the vastness of space and the relative diminutiveness of Veldin while Clank reminded Ratchet to keep his organic appendages on the steering column, they arrived at the coordinates of planet Novalis. As they approached, Clank turned to Ratchet. "After we have breached the atmospheric envelope, be sure to remember to extend the landing gear."
"Extend?" Ratchet asked as they began reentry.
"I assume you retracted the landing gear once we took off, to protect the sensitive mechanisms from the ravages of space and the friction of reentry?" Clank inquired, somewhat nervously.
"Umm..."
There were a few rather loud pings, followed by the scent of burning. "I assume incorrectly," Clank said, shaking his head.
"What was that?" Twilight asked.
"The pinging was in all likelihood the landing gear being torn from the ship by the friction of reentry," Clank explained. "The burning assaulting your scent detection organ is likely the friction playing havoc with the ship's internals through the holes left by the lost landing gear."
"So we're going to crash?" Twilight asked, completely calm.
"Yes," Clank agreed. "In all likelihood, quite violently." Noticing Ratchet screaming, he focused his gaze on Twilight. "Why are you not screaming and panicking?"
Just before the ship slammed into the ground, the cockpit popped free, launching itself into the air as various parachutes deployed, letting the cockpit slowly descend to the ground. "Because I installed an ejection system for the cockpit just in case of a crash," Twilight replied calmly.
Ratchet turned to Twilight as he calmed down. "And you didn't tell me...why?"
"Because I didn't want you to think I didn't have faith in your piloting skills, Daddy," she replied, looking up at him cutely through her long lashes.
Ratchet thought about that for a bit. "Well..."
"It is unlikely we will be able to reconstruct the ship, despite the intact nature of the cockpit," Clank interrupted. "We will need to find another conveyance off planet."
"We'll also need a clue as to where to go next to find Captain Quark," Twilight pointed out.
Ratchet nodded as he popped the cockpit open. "Alright. We've got a couple directions we can go. We can head down onto the plains, or we can explore the waterworks that way." He glanced back and forth.
"Perhaps we should divide our forces?" Clank suggested.
Ratchet winced. "I'd really rather not," he grumbled, glancing towards Twilight.
"Daddy!" Twilight complained. "I can take care of myself!"
Seeing her pout, he sighed. "Alright, you explore the waterworks. Clank and I will take the plains." Clank hopped onto Ratchet's back, attaching himself to Ratchet's tool harness.
"Okay Daddy!" Twilight said happily, bouncing off towards the waterworks.
'I do not understand your concern," Clank spoke up. "Her telekinetic capacity is quite potent."
"I know that," Ratchet explained. "And while there's probably nothing that can hurt her here unless she's caught off guard, not only is there the chance of that...but if we're here to help somewhat, I'd rather not cause more damage than the invaders."
"The only way she could do that would be if she decided to crush numerous enemy robots by ripping a mountain from its roots and dropping it on them," Clank pointed out.
"I've yet to see a limit to her telekinetic lifting capacity. How do you know she can't? Or wouldn't?" Ratchet shook his head. "That's why I sent her into the waterworks. According to the Gadgetron scans, there aren't that many robots or biological in there, just mechanisms."
Twilight carefully made her way through the waterworks, dealing with what few organic and mechanical hostiles she encountered. Her first run through led her to what was - for her - a dead end in a deep pool of water, as she didn't know how to swim. Not only were there few lakes or rivers on Veldin for her to learn in, the way her wings became waterlogged was both uncomfortable and weighed her down. Turning back, she noticed a couple of pistons that, for some reason, weren't moving. Seizing them in her magic, she forced them to change position so she could hop from one to the other so she could get out of the watery tunnels and into the actual waterworks.
Once inside, she discovered quite a few gaps she had to leap across. Normally they'd be too wide to leap across without aid, but her smaller frame and four-legged gait enabled her to gain more momentum in a run for a leap, and by spreading her wings at the apex of her jump she could glide the distance. She wasn't able to fly yet, much to her irritation, but short glides were within her abilities.
He raised his head. "Eh?" He pulled out some papers. "That's not in the script," he mumbled under his voice, too quiet for Twilight to hear. Putting the papers away, he turned to her. "Well now," he said with a wide grin, "you weren't who I was expecting at all. That's a pleasant surprise."
"What do you..." Twilight started to ask, but her voice trailed off as he began scratching her right behind her left ear. All thought left her mind as she relaxed into the gentle, euphoric caress.
The strange man chuckled. "Friendly little lady, ain'tcha?" He kneeled down to her level. "What are you doing all the way out here all on your lonesome, hmm? This planet's pretty dangerous right now."
She looked up at him. "Then why are you here?"
"Socioeconomic disparity," he proclaimed, grinning widely.
"Eh?"
He sighed. "Never mind," he said, shaking his head. As he stroked her back, he paused. "Wings? Well, certainly wasn't expecting that. That's going to be a doozy when it happens."
Twilight tilted her head in confusion, unable to follow his words at all. "Who...are you?" she asked at last.
"Just call me The Plumber," he said jovially.
She stamped her hoof. "That's not a name!" she complained.
"Well, excuse me, Princess!" he countered. Then he chuckled. "Feels like I shoulda been wearing green for that one."
Twilight began to back up a little nervously.
The Plumber sighed. Then he raised his hands. "Cross my heart," he said, doing the motions, "hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, I am a friend and mean you no harm, Twilight Sparkle."
Twilight's eyes widened, both at his knowing that promise and knowing her name. "How...how do you know all that?"
Grinning, he leaned in close and waved a finger at her. "That...is a secret!" He chuckled a bit. "Man, I've always wanted to say that!"
Twilight frowned. "Why won't you just answer my questions?" she demanded angrily.
"Because you don't need the answers yet," he replied, stroking her head soothingly. "But you do need this." He pulled out an infobot and played it for her.
Twilight watched the film in interest. "So we'll have to go there?" she asked.
"Not for a bit, but you will," he replied. "Time for me to go and you to head back to whoever brought you here."
"Right!" she said happily as she pocketed the infobot. "I need to find my Daddy!" She turned back the way she came.
"You could take the shortcut," he suggested, jerking a thumb at a large sewer pipe with water running through it, looking not unlike a waterslide.
"But...my wings..." Twilight stared at the pipe. While it would be faster, getting her wings clean was always so hard...
The Plumber sighed. "I'm not supposed to do this...but hop on!" He dove into the pipe to begin sliding on his belly.
Twilight eagerly leapt onto his back before he got too far. Keeping her body low, she banked with his weight as they slid down the pipe. Towards the end, she spread her wings wide as she enjoyed herself immensely.
"Here's your stop!" he called to her, bouncing her back up to the entrance of the waterworks. "When you meet my daughter again, give her my regards!" With that, he slid into a wall which - along with him - ceased to be there.
Twilight blinked in confusion. "Well...he was strange...but fun." With that, she headed back out of the waterworks.
"Hey Twilight!" Ratchet called out to her from in front of a new ship, waving her over.
"Hey Daddy!" Twilight called out, running up to him. "Is this our new ship?"
"Yup!" Ratchet replied. "We're...borrowing it from the planet chairman."
"It was his thank you for us helping fight off the Blargian assault troops," Clank added. "We also have a lead on Captain Quark's whereabouts. We must head to planet Kerwan."
Twilight nodded. The infobot the Plumber had given her had coordinates to planet Aridia, but it didn't include any clues as to Captain Quark's whereabouts. Besides, the Plumber had said they wouldn't need it until later. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" She eagerly hopped into the new ship. "Ooh! Comfy seats! Can I call shotgun this time?"
"I'm afraid not," Clank said as he hopped into the discussed seat. "I need to sit there in order to access the controls and act as the Robotic Ignition System."
"Aww!" Twilight pouted.
"If you two don't behave, I'm pulling over!" Ratchet proclaimed as the cockpit closed on the three of them.
The more automated landing system of their new ship made landing on Kerwan much smoother than it had been on Planet Novalis. Once they were safely settled, Ratchet and Twilight hopped out of the cockpit, Clank following to settle on Ratchet's back. Twilight suppressed a giggle at seeing them already working so smoothly together. Walking down the path, they came to a fork. "So which way?" Twilight asked.
Ratchet glanced at his map from the Gadgetron uplink. "Well, we need to find Big Al's shop so we can ask about Captain Qwark..."
Looking around, Twilight gasped. "No we don't!" she shouted, pointing. "There's Captain Qwark over there!" She took off towards the distant figure.
"Twilight, wait!" Ratchet called, running after her. When he caught up, he panted, "Don't run off like that, Twilight. Especially not to talk to a stranger, even a famous one."
"It's not Qwark," Twilight pouted. "It's just an automaton."
"Welcome to the Captain Qwark Fitness Course!" the green clad mechanoid proclaimed, waving its arms as it bobbled back and forth on its spring. "If you're strong enough, fast enough, and clever enough to beat my fitness course, you will receive a reward from my head trainer. Simply make your way to the third island to complete the course. Good luck!" It's voice quieted as it then spoke much faster. "Qwark Enterprises is not responsible for sprains, broken bones, snapped tendons, bruised egos or accidental death incurred while taking the challenge."
Twilight looked over to the island in question. "How are we supposed to get over there?" she asked.
"I believe we need to ascend to the top of the tower on each island in order to access the zip line to the next one," Clank proposed, pointing out the zipline.
"But...but I can't ride down a zip line!" Twilight complained.
"You can hold onto Clank while I slide down it," Ratchet offered.
Twilight nodded. "Alright."
As they climbed the first tower, they encountered several obstacles that tested their physical abilities. Long jumps over gaps between platforms were nothing to worry about, but Ratchet paused in concern at the first segment he would have to triangle jump upward. Twilight's body wasn't built for such a maneuver, after all.
Twilight, however, found no problem with this. Standing up on her hind legs, she pressed her forelegs against the wall, then lifted her hind legs to stand fully on the wall, her horn glowing as she utilized a gravity spell she had read about to realign her personal gravitational field to a 90 degree rotation. She let Ratchet triangle jump up the passage ahead of her so that he could pull her up to level at the top, as the absence of a curve at the top made that difficult for her.
Their original plan for the zip line immediately following didn't work as well as they'd hoped, as Twilight was unable to hold onto Clank, nor could Clank grip her without disengaging from his place on Ratchet's back. However, a rather risky idea of Twilight's proved workable. With a boost from Ratchet, she balanced her Omniwrench on top of the zip line and stood balanced on it to ride down the top of the line, while Ratchet gripped it from below to maintain that balance.
The tower on the next island proved even less of a challenge, as the only addition was platforms that moved in and out of the tower in predictable patterns. The slightly longer jumps proved foal's play for Twilight, as she could easily glide past the retracting platforms all the way to the other side, especially if Ratchet threw her across. The retracting jump slot - as the Gadgetron uplink informed them they were called, proved a bit more difficult for Twilight, as she was unable to get a stable gravity spell applied to a moving surface. However, Clank came up with a different solution that worked flawlessly: by bracing Twilight's forehooves against Ratchet's hands, the two of them could walk up the jump slot with ease, and a slight application of Twilight's telekinesis allowed them to crest the top to stable ground.
"Twilight, if your telekinesis is so advanced and powerful, why not simply levitate yourself up the jump slots?" Clank asked curiously.
Twilight shook her head. "While I have a lot of power, it takes a lot of concentration to work levitation like that. Being braced on a solid surface means I don't have to brace myself with my magic as well. Trying to levitate myself would be much harder, not to mention very disorienting."
Clank nodded understanding. "I see. ...have you considered perhaps the creation of steps made of focused telekinetic energy?"
"Like a magic staircase?" Twilight asked.
"Something like that."
Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof. "I had considered it...but to build an entire staircase that way would require so much magic..."
"Do the individual steps need to be braced against each other, or solid surfaces?" Clank inquired.
Twilight thought for a bit as they approached the last zip line. "No, I don't think so. I mean, I can create a thin platform to stand on in midair." She generated a magenta square made of solid light with her magic, wide enough for all three of them to stand on. "But I don't see-"
"What if you only maintained three steps at a time?" Clank suggested. "The one you are currently standing on, the one you just stepped off of, and the next one up?"
Twilight frowned. "But that would..." Her voice trailed off. "That's...that would conserve my thaumic quotient so I didn't expend my entire magical energy maintaining the entire stairway, and it would have more stability than trying to levitate myself, as each step would be a fixed point to work from. It'll take some time to figure out the exact formulae..."
"If you explain the mathematics and science behind your abilities to me," Clank offered, "I could assist with the computations."
"That'd be great!" Twilight squealed happily, clapping her hooves.
Ratchet shook his head. "This is all way beyond me," he admitted. "I can build something based on the science I know...but I can't make heads or tails of your magic, Twi."
Twilight patted his shin with a hoof. "It's okay, Daddy," she said as she climbed up to stand on his Omniwrench before they slid down the zip line. "I'll explain it to you when this adventure's over."
At the end of the zip line, they encountered a rather hefty fembot in workout clothes, her 'hair' in pigtails. She was doing jumping jacks until they arrived. "Listen up you lard balls!" she proclaimed in a heavy German accent. "That was the most pathetic display I have ever seen on that obstacle course."
"Whaddaya mean?" Ratchet demanded.
"We finished the course," Clank pointed out reasonably.
"And I doubt you've seen many six year olds run it," Twilight grumbled, glancing nervously at her belly. "Daddy, do I really look like a 'lard ball'? I didn't think I was fat..."
"Oh yah!" the fembot proclaimed. "But it was we-" She cut herself off. "Did you say you were six?" she asked, leaning over Twilight, shocked.
Twilight nodded. "Uh huh." She looked up, sad. "Am I really...a lard ball?"
The fembot scooped her up into a hug. "Oh I'm so sorry, kleine," she whispered hurriedly. "I was expecting grown ups running this course, not children. For one as young as you, that was an excellent time! And you are not fat at all, little one. That is just Helga's way of encouraging lazy bums like the cat boy over there who disgrace her obstacle course. Don't be sad, ja?"
"Hey..." Ratchet complained. "I'm not fat, either..."
"Then where were those cat-like moves I was expecting on the course, eh?" Helga proclaimed. "Your performance was pathetic!" She then turned back to Twilight. "But you weren't, little one. Captain Qwark was very impressed by you, I'm sure. He wants you to have a Swingshot." She gave the gadget in question to Twilight.
Twilight grinned widely. "A gift from Captain Qwark?" she gasped happily.
"Ja!" Helga confirmed. "With it, you can sway to and fro from those targets up there, and any like them. Doesn't that sound fun?"
Twilight nodded eagerly. "It really does!"
Helga set Twilight down with a smile, then turned to Ratchet with a scowl. "Dat idiot Captain also wants me to give you one, but you disgraced my course today! If you want it, then I will make you pay!"
"But..." Twilight whimpered. "But I need Daddy to show me how to use this." She looked up at Helga, her eyes wide as she whimpered. "Please let my Daddy have his, too, so we can swing together?" Her lip quivered as she begged.
Helga caved. "Oh, alright. I guess it isn't such a disgrace if he was working so hard to help you cross." She tossed a swingshot over to Ratchet.
"This thing is sweet!" Ratchet said, looking it over. "I bet Captain Qwark uses stuff like this all the time."
"Ha!" Helga proclaimed. "Real men can swing without silly toys like that!"
Seeing Ratchet with his swingshot, Twilight grinned. "Works every time," she mumbled under her breath.
Helga's hearing, however, was apparently more acute than Twilight had expected. She let out a gasp. "Why you little lausbub!" she proclaimed loudly, bending over to tickle Twilight mercilessly as the filly laughed as she rolled onto her back from the assault. "You are a tricky one, aren't you? I hope I see you again, if not your lazy Papa!" With that, Helga hopped into a nearby air taxi and sped off.
Smiling and still giggling, Twilight turned. "Well, I guess it's time to look for Big Al's, after we test these out." Lifting her Swingshot - mounted on her hoof - she aimed at the nearest target. "Whoa!" she shouted, as the hook launched out, caught on the target, and dragged her through the air.
Chuckling, Ratchet followed her, determined to keep up.
With Swingshots in hand - or hoof, in Twilight's case - the group continued to make their way through the towering city of Kerwan. While they were occasionally assaulted by rocket launching troops, bomb dropping bots, and the occasional swarm of robo-dogs, they managed to get through with only the occasional bump and scrape, until they reached a long bridge over which an attack chopper hovered.
"Hmm..." Ratchet mumbled, standing back to examine the situation. "Say, Twilight, think you could throw something at the chopper to take it out?"
Twilight examined the situation for a bit, then shook her head. "Even if I could, it would crash into the bridge, and then we wouldn't be able to get across."
"So we're going to have to dodge bullets," Ratchet grumbled, loosening his limbs.
"Or deflect them," Clank suggested. "Twilight, the 'magic steps'...can you produce them with a vertical alignment?"
Twilight blinked. "Sure," she confirmed, focusing her magic to create a solid plane of her magical energy floating in front of them. "But why?"
"If it is solid enough to hold all three of our weights, it should be solid enough to deflect bullets," Clank explained. "Can you move it forward with you as you walk?"
Twilight rubbed her chin. "I think so. I won't be able to shoot any attackers while holding my focus on the shield, though."
"Leave that to me," Ratchet confidently reassured her, pulling out his Blaster.
The strategy worked quite well, and they were able to make it past with few problems beyond temporary mental fatigue on the part of Twilight from maintaining a mobile solid projection for so long, although she seemed quite pleased at discovering that she could crush attacking robots by pressing them between a wall and her projections.
Shortly after, they reached Big Al's robot shack. Ratchet attempted to break the ice. "Say, you're that robot guy, right?"
"No, I build robots," the yellow skinned, hefty roboticist said from behind the counter. "I, myself, am not a robot guy, per se." He laughed nervously, as though afraid only he would find it amusing and desperate to be proven wrong.
"Nerd," Ratchet whispered in an aside to Clank and Twilight, only to quail from Twilight's glare.
"I like him," Clank replied.
"So now that we've cleared that up," Big Al continued, eager to get past the awkward absence of laughter, "what can I do for you?"
Twilight Sparkle stepped forward to take control of the conversation. "We saw your broadcast with Captain Qwark. We were hoping you could help us find him."
"Your logic is commendable," Big Al replied, "but I haven't seen Captain Qwark since we shot that commercial..." His voice trailed off as he lifted his scope for a better look at who he was talking to. He then gasped. "Wait...are you Twilight Sparkle?"
Twilight blinked in surprise. "You've...heard of me?"
"Are you kidding?" Big Al proclaimed. "Every scientist across the galaxy has heard of you! Hired on to Gadgetron at the age of three and a half, and your name's been on every best selling product of theirs ever since! Technical genius of that level doesn't come around every day. Can I have your autograph?" He quickly held out an autograph book.
Sheepishly, Twilight seized a pen in her telekinesis and signed her name in the book.
"Fascinating..." Big Al said as he watched the energy activity, lowering his scope for readings. "It seems to be a standard gravimetric displacement field, but highly focused and biologically generated. Not only that, it doesn't appear to use any known energy type. Not to mention the neural input allows for much finer directed control than anything technology can do, save through having the controls being built into a robot's brain..."
As Twilight stepped back behind Ratchet, flustered by the close attention to her and her abilities, Clank took control of the conversation. "It appears you cannot assist us after all. We will have to look for leads elsewhere. Our apologies for wasting your time."
Big Al waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it!" he replied easily. "And I'd hardly call meeting my scientific idol and witnessing a completely undefined field of science in action a waste of time. It's not like I have any customers today." He then took a closer look at Clank. "Say, do you run on standard XP-18 sisterboards?"
"Version 7.66," Clank added.
"Back at ya," Big Al replied eagerly. "I may be able to help you out after all. How does a Helipack upgrade sound?"
"Upgrade?" Twilight asked eagerly, zipping onto the counter.
"Natch. Since he's a seven-six-six, I could have the little guy flying in no time," Big Al explained.
"Oh, please show me!" Twilight begged. "Ever since the cancellation of the RYNO project, I've been eager to learn anything I could about robotics, but because of that project I'm not allowed to get a roboticists license."
Smiling, Big Al turned to Clank, eager to impress Twilight. "Okay, this won't hurt a bit." Reaching forward, he grabbed Clank.
"Hey, wait!" Clank objected, but it was too late. Before he had a chance to say another word, Big Al had gotten to work on the Helipack upgrade, an entranced filly watching eagerly over his shoulder and taking notes. Before long the work was finished.
"There we go," Big Al said as he set Clank down on the counter, the helicopter parts of the upgrade springing from his head and arms. "I also added some extra stabilizers and power to the boost jump function so he can carry both of you up a good height."
"Ratchet," Clank asked, "am I cool now?"
Ratchet chuckled. "Yeah. You da man, Clank."
Twilight was clapping eagerly at the notion of riding along, seeing there was even a grip brace for her on Clank's shoulders that would keep her under the head propeller...as long as she ducked. "Thanks so much for showing me that!" she said happily, hopping up to give Big Al a light peck on the cheek.
Big Al sat back with a huge goofy grin on his face, rubbing his cheek. "You're welcome," he said happily.
Out behind Al's shop, the three travelers got to test out the new Helipack to ascend some stacks of boxes. Using the grips installed at the top and bottom of Clank's chassis, Twilight was able to ride up with him and Ratchet during the Boost Jump. Twilight's running glide, however, proved to be able to give her more range and air than the Spring Jump gave Ratchet and Clank...once again, especially if she got a throwing start from Ratchet. However, while the Glide function of the Helipack had a steeper angle of descent than Twilight's spread wings, it could get more distance overall as Twilight could only hold her wings at extension for so long before she had to drop.
After continuing to trek through the city with their new maneuverability, they eventually reached a sky train. Hopping on, Twilight gasped as it began to pull out of the station. "Wow!" she cried excitedly, eagerly glancing over the side. "How is it moving without rails? I haven't gotten that far in my studies yet!"
"We can read about it when we get home," Ratchet pointed out. "For now, we should probably go investigate that infobot up by the engine."
"Right!" Twilight agreed, turning back to the matter at hand.
When they reached the front of the train - and coincidentally, the next station - the infobot attempted to fly off. However, Twilight stopped it in its tracks by snagging it in a telekinetic bubble. Once it stopped trying to escape, she drew it to Ratchet, and together the three of them watched it's message. It contained a recording of a video conference between Chairman Drek and a robot Lieutenant, preparing planet Eudora for 'harvesting'.
"Drek is destroying another planet," Clank pointed out as he miniaturized the infobot for storage.
"Yeah," Ratchet countered, "but if that's the kind of help he's getting, I don't think we have anything to worry about."
"Do not underestimate Chairman Drek," Clank began.
"I think what Daddy means," Twilight spoke up, "is that, given what we saw of the progress, there isn't any immediate urgency for a direct confrontation with Drek's forces there." She then pulled out the infobot she received from the Plumber back on Novalis. "Besides, there are two people here stranded that need help, and we can do that quick, and that might get us some new equipment, or hints on where to go to find Qwark." She then played the infobot, containing - amongst other things - coordinates for planet Aridia.
"Did you see that guy on the left?" Ratchet pointed out excitedly. "That was Skid McMarx."
"The hoverboard champ?" Twilight asked in surprise. "I'd heard about him. If we save him, do you think we can get an autograph?"
"I suppose," Ratchet admitted. "Don't see why you'd want one."
"However, Twilight is correct that he - or his agent - may have resources that can assist us in finding Captain Qwark."
Ratchet shrugged. "Okay, okay...guess we're off to Planet Aridia next." He smiled as he shook his head over Twilight's excitement.
As they hopped out of their ship on Planet Aridia, Ratchet once again checked the Help Desk minimap. "Alright, it looks like we've got...two civilians located in different locations, and a tower that might have something useful in it."
"I think you and Clank should take the tower, Daddy," Twilight pointed out. "I still haven't mastered the magic steps Clank and I discussed, so I'd probably hold you back in a climb."
Before Ratchet could speak up, Clank added his two bolts. "That would be an appropriate distribution of labor. It would appear that one of the civilians' beacons is a good distance from the tower, while the other is much closer. Twilight, you should take the much more distant civilian while we take the tower, and we'll meet up to investigate the second civilian beacon."
Ratchet shrugged helplessly. "Not a bad idea," he admitted. Kneeling down, he rested his hand on Twilight's neck. "Just be careful, okay?"
Twilight nuzzled into his arm. "Don't worry, Daddy. I'll be fine." With that, they turned and headed their separate ways.
As Twilight approached the first beacon - which, as it turned out, was quite close to where they'd landed their ship - she gasped in joy. "Skid McMarx! I saw your distress beacon on the infobot!"
"In the flesh, little lady!" Skid said, completely relaxed despite his situation. "You get a load of that epic space battle I was in?"
"Yeah, I saw," Twilight agreed. "You okay? What happened?"
"My agent and I got ambushed on the way to glide board practice," Skid informed her.
"He must be that other beacon we picked up!" Twilight fretted. "I hope he's okay."
"Ah, he's fine," Skid reassured her. "But I've had a little trouble getting back to my ship, due to my sprained ankle..." His voice trailed off, his eyes on a pair of Sandsharks passing by.
Without missing a beat, Twilight whipped her blaster out and shot the two Sandsharks without even pausing to look and aim, both clean hits. Levitating her weapon to her mouth, she blew away the smoke. "I'm afraid I don't know healing magic," she admitted, "and I don't have any spare nanotech..."
"Heck, if you can take out all the Sandsharks as easily as you did those two, I'll be just fine!" he said eagerly. "Heck, I'll even throw in a spare glide board for you!"
"Autographed?" Twilight gasped eagerly.
"Sure!" Skid agreed readily. "Let me just find a pen." He turned to look around in his crashed pod.
As he did so, Twilight eagerly spun and charged out towards where the Sandsharks were congregating, hunting down every last one. While the mud pits would have been a point of concern for most, her lightweight frame, widespread weight, and low center of gravity let her run right across the top of the pits with only the smallest application of magic on her hooves. Between telekinetically flinging the Sandsharks around, tossing bombs at them, potshots with her blaster, and torching them with her Pyrocitor, she had them all dead - or hiding deep underground in terror - in under two minutes, after which she then rushed back to Skid. "All done!" she said happily.
"Dude, you work fast!" Skid said happily, capping his pen. "Here you are, little lady. One autographed glide board, as promised." He tossed her the signed board.
Twilight eagerly caught it in her magic, grinning from ear to ear. "This is so great!" she squealed happily, bouncing from hoof to hoof. She then glanced at the glide board from a few different angles before trying to climb aboard, only to fall off and flat on her face. "How do you use this thing?" she demanded in frustration.
"Naw, naw girl," Skid said, taking out another board. "Like this. Here, watch. It'd take too long to explain." Holding the board out, he pointed the hover units forward and threw the board in front of him, hopping onto it as it came level with the ground, riding it around in a small circle. "See? Now you try. Just tilt the board in the direction you want it to go while maintaining balance. Don't wanna wipeout, ya know?"
Nodding, Twilight got back to her hooves. Throwing the board forward with her magic, she leaped onto it. However, before she could get her balance, the front of the board tipped downward causing it to shoot forward. "Whoa!" she screamed out. She started to push back.
"No!" Skid called out, gliding his board to keep up with her. "Don't fight it, run with it!" He showed what he meant, using slight pressures of one foot or another to angle the board, while using his arms to maintain his balance.
Watching, Twilight did what she could to imitate his actions, mantling her wings slightly to help her maintain balance. Once she was balanced on the board, she found it much easier to control, with slight shifts of her weight forward or back being all it took to accelerate or decelerate, and the shifting of her feathers letting her turn much easier than Skid could.
"Now you're gettin the hang of it!" Skid said happily. "Now try a jump off this sand hill!" Putting actions to words, he shot up the hill. "Wahooo!" he called out as he cleared the top, bending his knees, grabbing the side of his board, and flipping sideways through the air a full 1080 degrees before catching the sand at the bottom of his jump.
A sudden urgent desire to outdo him filled Twilight, and her wings felt like they sparked with lightning. Leaning forward, she shot up the hill as fast as her board could go - which, with her much smaller weight and air resistance profile, was much faster than Skid went - and shot off the top of the hill like a rocket. "Eeeeyahhh!" she screamed out, her wings tilting as she went into a drill like spin as she shot forward, flipping a total of eleven times before she came down to the sand, leaning back far enough that the board tipped up to balance on one hoverjet, her wings gripping the sides as she spun like a top as she rocketed across the ground before coming to a complete stop, bracing one hoof on the sand to steady herself.
Skid, for his part, had been so busy staring at the amazing trick he'd just seen that he slammed bodily into the next sand hill. "Oomph!" he gasped out, falling onto his butt.
"Are you okay?" Twilight asked, using the glide board to shoot up beside him.
"I'm okay!" he said happily. At that moment, his glide board - which had shot out from under his feet when he wiped out - came down front first on his stomach. "...less okay!" he whined.
Twilight quickly levitated him back into his pod. "You should get some rest," she said worriedly. "You shouldn't have been doing so much on a sprained ankle, let alone after taking a glide board to the gut."
"Yeah...right...my ankle..." Skid said nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Guess I went overboard giving you your lessons...but girl, you're a natural on the glide board!" He grinned winningly at her. "If you get an agent, I'm gonna have some serious competition on the professional circuit."
Twilight blushed in pleasure. "Well, I'm going to go meet up with my Daddy and let your agent know you're okay!" She turned to go.
"Hey kid!" Skid called out, making her turn back. "I didn't catch your name!"
She turned and smiled back happily. "I'm Twilight Sparkle!"
He stared at that smile for a few minutes. "Say...don't mean to sound weird, but how old are you?"
Twilight blinked, then giggled. "I'm six years old. Why?"
"Oh, no reason. No reason..." Skid lay back in his pod, watching as she zoomed off on her new glide board. "Dang it Skid," he muttered after a while. "Why the heck did the perfect dame hafta be 19 years too young?" He punched his pod in frustration, wincing as he then cradled his hand.
As Ratchet and Clank left the tower to approach the second beacon, Ratchet glanced around worriedly. "What is wrong, Ratchet?" Clank inquired.
"Well, we said we'd meet up at the second beacon," Ratchet explained, "but the only way to the second beacon is through the tower, which Twilight wasn't sure of her ability to climb. Admittedly, the swingshot did most of the climbing work, but..."
"You are worried about her getting lost or not catching up?" Clank offered.
"Yeah, something like-"
"Wahoo!" Twilight called out, shooting over the huge mudpit - and Ratchet and Clank's heads - on her glide board, her wings spread for even more air, coming in for a landing some distance away, spinning and nearly colliding with Skid's agent.
"Hey, watch where you're going!" he yelled out as Ratchet and Clank rushed over to catch up. "Hey, where'd you get that glide board, anyway?"
Ratchet gasped as he got a closer look at the board Twilight was riding. "That's a Z3000! You can't even buy those yet! How'd you get it, Twi?"
Twilight beamed happily. "Skid gave it to me after I cleared out some Sandsharks for him!" she said happily, boosting up a nearby hill and into a triple flip to show off her moves, the board, and the signature. "Gave me lessons in how to use it, too!" she said happily.
"What?" the agent demanded. "Giving away company property and unscheduled lessons? I am so renegotiating my contract with that idiot. He might not even be my client when I'm through with him!" He looked closer at Twilight's maneuvers on the board. "Hmm...you seem to be pretty good on the glide board, miss. How would you like to be my next big star?"
"M-me?" Twilight asked in shock.
"Yup!" he confirmed. "I'm always on the lookout for new talent, and you certainly know your way around the glide board. Course, I can't promote a novice, so you'll need to have at least one victory under your belt. Bring me the trophy from winning the Blackwater City glide board competition , and I'll sign you right away."
"Ratchet, we do not have time for this!" Clank pointed out.
"Clank, if we get the coordinates, it'll be because there's trouble there, likely connected to what Drek is up to," Ratchet pointed out. "If we end up there anyway..."
Clank sighed. "A valid point."
Twilight, for her part, ignored the conversation as she continued to bounce happily.
As they had no other leads to follow - and no coordinates yet for Blackwater City - the trio made their way to planet Eudora. Landing, they saw that the 'harvesting' of the planet's trees was well under way...and at this point, the robots had ceased with collecting and now seemed to be focused on simple destruction. "Okay," Ratchet said calmly, "I think this time we'd better stick together."
"Alright, Daddy," Twilight said calmly, seizing a nearby harvest robot in her telekinesis and slamming it repeatedly into another until they both exploded.
Clank remained silent, internally calculating exactly how much force Twilight was actually generating and running through the calculations of her potential energy generation if she could do so at such range without even visible signs of strain. The results were not proving to be comforting.
Here, they discovered the first bolt crank operated bridge. At first, Ratchet was going to use his Omniwrench and walk around it to open it up, but Twilight was able to handle it much more efficiently by levitating her Omniwrench over, attaching it to the bolt, and remotely spinning it around the bolt crank. "Say, Daddy," she spoke up as she did so, "why does this work?"
"Well," Ratchet explained, "according to Gadgetron Help Desk, bolt cranks like this are designed to interact with things like the Omniwrench."
"But only you and I have Omniwrenches," Twilight pointed out. "And I made mine by duplicating yours. So why would systems be designed for interface with tools nobody has?"
Ratchet opened his mouth to answer, but had none.
"Much of the construction technology available to the galaxy is based off the initial reverse engineering of Lombax tech," Clank spoke up. "Aside from those facilities which are old Lombax constructions left abandoned and adapted for later residents. The Omniwrench, obviously, is a Lombax tool, so it makes sense that various other tech is designed to interface with them."
"...huh," Ratchet and Twilight said together, doing their best to wrap their heads around this.
After a while of exploring along the main path, they eventually came across a new weapon.
"The Suck Cannon," Ratchet read from the Gadgetron Uplink. "Apparently, it can suck up enemies and fire them as high-caliber missiles...but only if they're small enough to fit in the barrel of the Cannon."
"It sounds a great deal like what Twilight generally uses her telekinesis for in combat," Clank pointed out, "except...more limited."
"The name's appropriate then," Ratchet admitted. "This Suck Cannon really...sucks."
"I wouldn't be so sure," Twilight said, looking the cannon over and tapping her chin. "Daddy, can I see it? And your Power Glove Gadget?"
Blinking, Ratchet handed them over. "Sure. What did you have in mind?"
"Let's see..." Twilight muttered as she began disassembling both devices. "A miniaturized power source...tweaked to generate high end suction and propulsion...if I instead tweak it to amplify the gravimetric energies of the Power Glove...hey, it's already based in gravity manipulating principles, this'll be easy! ...and done!" Turning back, she held out the Power Glove Gadget, but slightly bulkier and with a new design on the outside. "Behold the Power Gauntlet!"
Taking it, Ratchet slipped it on. "Looks and feels like the old Power Glove..." he pointed out.
"Try using it to grab that robot!" she said, pointing at one of the smaller robots nearby.
Shrugging, Ratchet held out his gloved hand, focusing to trigger the gravimetric field the glove generated. The robot in question levitated, flailing about in the field. "Well, that's impressive..."
"Yes!" Twilight cried, pumping her hoof. "The glove's circuitry takes the fluctuations of the target's movement into account in adjusting the field strength! Now, look at another target and flick your wrist towards it!"
Shrugging his shoulders, Ratchet glanced towards one of the larger robots which was watching its levitating comrade, and flicked his wrist in its direction. The levitating robot launched forward, slamming into the other robot's head and exploding, breaking both. "Sweet!"
"The enhanced targeting system works too!" Twilight crowed happily. "Now, try grabbing one of the smaller robots again, but this time make a fist afterwards."
Eager to see what else the Gauntlet could do, Ratchet followed her instructions. The generated gravimetric field crushed the levitated robot into scrap. "Now that's a weapon!" he crowed.
"Oh, I can't wait to submit this new design to Gadgetron!" Twilight cheered, bouncing happily from hoof to hoof.
Coming to the end of the looping path back to the ship, the group headed forward to a door protected by a Gadgetron Invinco-Lock, which Ratchet's new Trespasser was designed to interface with and unlock.
"Hang on a minute!" Twilight complained. "So Gadgetron makes these Invinco-locks, which are supposed to be unbreakable except with the key the lock comes with, right?"
"That is correct," Clank agrees.
"And then they come out with the Trespasser, which is specifically designed to interface with any Invinco-lock and bypass them?" she continued.
"That is also correct."
"Then how are they still selling Invinco-locks?"
Clank opened his mouth to answer, his hand lifted to make a point. "...that is a very good question," Clank finished lamely.
"Because their customers for the locks are impressionable idiots who fall for carefully designed marketing schemes?" Ratchet suggested as he finished opening the lock.
Twilight frowned. "...okay, I can see the logic there. I don't really like it, but I see the logic."
Eventually, after clearing many widely spaced platform jumps, the group encountered the lieutenant they had seen in the original infobot transmission. He stepped forward as though to attack, but as soon as he saw how much force was readily arrayed against him, he quickly ran for it, leaving an infobot behind.
"Why didn't we capture him?" Twilight asked.
"Because we don't know anything about interrogation," Ratchet pointed out. "Besides, the infobot should provide all we need."
After watching the ad for the Blargian research station, Twilight bounced eagerly. "Did you see all that new tech? I bet I could figure out how to make all sorts of new tools to help us fight them if we went there. Not to mention I could figure out how their tech works and find a way to combat it."
Clank frowned. "We don't really have time for side trips-"
"We don't exactly have any other leads to follow," Ratchet pointed out.
Clank sighed. "Very well," he relented, collecting the infobot and downloading the coordinates for the Blargian Tactical-research Station.
Upon arrival at the research station, the trio began to plan their approach.
"Alright," Twilight said. "What's the plan this time? Split up again?"
"Actually, according to the map, there's really only one path for us to take," Ratchet pointed out. "Unless that pod over there is running."
Rushing over, Twilight checked it out. "...no, it's not," she pouted. "We probably need to throw a switch somewhere to turn it on. Once we do, it's locked in autopilot to that defunct ship out there."
"It would seem that we are sticking together, then," Clank concluded.
"Alright," Ratchet agreed. "Let's go."
The three proceeded down the single, straightforward path, leaping over the toxic gas that sprayed from broken vents on their way. When they first encountered a swarm of what looked like mutated frogs, they dealt with them quickly. Ratchet utilized his Pyrocitor, while Twilight used her telekinetically controlled wrench to 'pinball' whole swaths of them. Both their Blasters proved useful in dealing with flame wielding thugs, which occasionally blocked their path.
None of the obstacles proved too much of a problem, and Twilight rather enjoyed riding as Ratchet and Clank used the Heli-pack to clear the few high jumps. Eventually, however, they encountered a few of the mutant creatures they had seen in the infobot's video.
Though Ratchet prepared for a tough fight, Twilight resolved the matter rather easily by levitating one of the creatures up and hurling it at the other, repeating until the first dropped dead.
"Wish the Power Gauntlet were strong enough to lift them," Ratchet grumbled.
"Try grabbing just a piece!" Twilight suggested.
Blinking, Ratchet held out his gauntleted hand, focusing on the remaining mutant's head. Seeing the field hold the creature's head steady, he grinned and clenched his fist. The mutant monstrosity fell dead, its head crushed. "Nice!" Ratchet crowed happily. Now certain of their ease at dealing with the threats here, they continued easily.
Their next encounter with flame wielding enemies also proved very easy, as Ratchet discovered that using the Power Gauntlet to crush their fuel tanks created a most satisfying and effective explosion.
Eventually, the trio came across a much larger specimen of the mutant aliens they had been fighting. As it approached, Ratchet once again attempted to seize its head in the Power Gauntlet's grip, only for the field to fail to form. "I can't get a grip!"
"It's too big!" Twilight pointed out. "And it's got some kind of innate telepathic ability that's shielding it from my magic!"
"How does that even work?" Ratchet demanded.
"It is likely a queen specimen of a rudimentary hive mind," Clank postulated. "Since Twilight's magic is shaped by thought, the high concentration of thought energy likely disrupts the energy fields she generates as she forms them. I believe it would be best if we limited ourselves to weapon attacks."
Ratchet grunted, pulling out both blaster and bomb glove. "This is going to be a long fight, then."
The fight proved to be longer than anticipated. Not only did the creature take very small amounts of damage with each hit, it also proved Clank's postulation by summoning creatures of each mutant type after taking a certain amount of damage. Despite the first wave being small enough for Ratchet to grab and propel with the Gauntlet, there were too many for him to aim well to target the main creature.
After finally finishing the queen off, the trio took the new path that opened. Before long, they encountered a scientist being harried by a pair of the frog like mutants. Ratchet made short work of them.
"Whew!" the scientist said, wiping his brow. "I thought I was a goner this time! Some nanowit in genetics must have left the cages open again."
"You can come down now," Ratchet informed him, gesturing to the stool the scientist was standing on.
"Honestly!" the scientist proclaimed, hopping down. "A Gadget Engineer deserves a bit more respect if you ask me-" he pauses, seeing the Gauntlet. "Is that the Power Glove Gadget from Gadgetron? It looks like a new model."
"It's an upgraded version," Twilight explained. "By combining the Power Glove with parts from the Suck Cannon, the Glove is upgraded to the Power Gauntlet. It can now seize animate targets as well as inanimate, up to the same size as the Suck Cannon could capture. The object can be retrieved, propelled as a weapon, or crushed. It can also seize parts of a larger object and manipulate them independent of the large object."
The scientist stared helplessly for a while. "Oh. My gods," he said at last. "You're Twilight Sparkle, aren't you? The child prodigy, pride of Gadgetron, and the envy and idol of scientists across the galaxy?"
Blushing, Twilight hid behind her Omniwrench. "I only learned about that last bit recently..." she mumbled.
"D-do you think you could take a look at these Grindboots I developed?" he asked. "Do you think they'd be good enough for Gadgetron? I think I'd like to change employers to work somewhere safer."
Twilight took a look at the boots for a while. "Hmm...tell you what. Sign here-" she held out her Gadgetron uplink as a form appeared, "-and I'll have my product tester give your Grindboots a work-over. Then we'll write a review of the product and send it in to Gadgetron. If it works well, we'll also include a recommendation that you be hired."
"Oh thank you!" the scientist replied happily, eagerly signing the form and handing over the boots.
Twilight smiled. "A pleasure working with you..." She glanced down at the name. "...Hsi Teng Duc?"
"And a real pleasure to meet you!" Hsi Teng agreed before hustling off.
Twilight glanced up at Ratchet. "Why do scientists have such strange sounding names?"
Ratchet scratched the back of his head. "Well..."
"I mean, what's wrong with naming a kid Sitting Duck?"
Snorting with laughter, Ratchet put the Grindboots on. "Let's just try these out, huh?" he suggested, gesturing to a shaft that seemed ideal for doing so.
Grinning happily, Twilight hopped onto his back, clinging to the grips Clank extended from the Heli-Pack upgrade for her to hold onto as Ratchet leaped to grind down the rails.
At the end of the rail, back in the initial chamber, they found that the pod was still not activated.
"What do we need to do to turn this on?" Twilight demanded.
"This appears to be an airlock," Clank informed them. "If you open it with your Trespasser, Ratchet, I believe I can explore outside the station."
"Alright," Ratchet agreed, opening the lock. "Have fun, Clank."
Nodding, Clank stepped out into the elevator.
Ratchet sat back against the wall to wait. To his surprise, Twilight curled up in his lap. "You okay, Twi?"
"Just tired," Twilight admitted. "it's been a while since I took a nap..."
"Alright," Ratchet said softly. "Get some sleep then."
Sighing happily, Twilight curled up, and Ratchet gently stroked her mane as she drifted off.
When Clank returned, he was surprised that he was immediately shushed by Ratchet. "She's sleeping," Ratchet whispered.
"I see," Clank replied, reducing the standard decibel level of his vocalizations. "I have found a useful gadget, and activated the pod."
Ratchet nodded, accepting the Hydrodisplacer. "In that case, I'll tuck her in in our ship, then we can go investigate."
"Alright," Clank agreed.
After tucking Twilight in and closing the canopy, the pair took the pod to the derelict warship. After accidentally triggering the warship's self destruct, they evacuated along with the infobot. Discovering that Twilight was still asleep on their return, they decided to let her sleep, setting a course for the coordinates contained in the infobot...Blackwater City.
As they arrived on Planet Rilgar on the outskirts of Blackwater City, Twilight slowly stirred. "W-where are we?" she asked.
"Planet Rilgar," Clank replied easily.
"What?" Twilight asked, shocked. "But what about that ship we were going to explore?"
"You were sound asleep," Ratchet explained. "We were in a hurry, but I didn't want to take you if you needed your sleep."
Twilight frowned, but nodded. "Alright. But we're going to go back sometime so I can look around it, right?"
"That will be impossible," Clank explained. "Ratchet triggered the self destruct."
"Accidentally!" Ratchet hastened to add at Twilight's angry look. "Besides, we're going into Blackwater City! Remember the hoverboard race?"
Twilight bounced out of the canopy eagerly. "Really? But I thought we would only go to the race if we were coming here anyway?"
"That's the best part!" Ratchet encouraged. "Captain Qwark is going to be awarding the grand prize at the race!"
"Then I gotta win!" Twilight said eagerly, pulling out her board and hopping on.
"The city sewers also appear to be infested with some form of violent ameboids," Clank pointed out.
"We'll deal with them later!" Twilight said eagerly. "I wanna race!"
Ratchet rolled his eyes and chuckled indulgently at Twilight's eagerness, before hopping out of the ship to lead the way.
Making their way into the city proved rather simple for the trio. The only new obstacle they encountered were large tanks, which proved easy to deal with. Ratchet would seal the barrel with the field from his Power Gauntlet, and Twilight would use her telekinetic field to rip the top part of the tank free of the treads and then smash it back down, exploding both.
On their first encounter with an Amoeboid, Twilight held her hoof up a good distance away. "Hang on," she said. "I wanna try something." Focusing on the Amoeboid, she laid her hoof on Ratchet's Pyrocitor. Her horn glowing, she analyzed the inner workings of the weapon for a time. "Amoebas are mostly water...something that liquid would need to hold itself together with a careful liquid/solid balance. They like the sewers, so they wouldn't like heat..." Her magic focused at the tip of her horn, then launched out.
As the new spell impacted against the Amoeboid, it burst into flames before drying up and crumbling into dust. "Whoa!" Ratchet shouted in shock.
"Impressive," Clank concurred.
Twilight grinned widely. "I read in Spells of the Unicorn that Unicorn magic was theorized to be able to influence the Four Elements. I'd been wanting to try, but I couldn't find a good basic formula to work from. The Amoeboid made a perfect test subject to contain the spell, and now that I know how to make it work..." Grinning, she turned her head, focused her horn, and launched another fireball at another nearby target.
"Sweet!" Ratchet said eagerly. "Think you could turn that into a gun?"
"Well, it's just based on the Pyrociter ignition sequence...though I suppose a few mods could make it launch balls of flame instead of a stream...I'll work on that after Qwark saves the galaxy from Drek." With that, Twilight hopped back on her board to zip off further along.
Making their way into downtown, they cleared the first street they came to of hostiles before encountering a rather shady character. He glanced around nervously before addressing them. "RYNO for your robot - trade ya," he said slyly.
Before Ratchet or Clank could respond, Twilight immediately stepped forward. "According to the data files I found at the Blargian Tactical Research Station, even after buying the original blueprints for the RYNO from Gadgetron, they were never able to successfully complete the weapon while still meeting safety guidelines. They only made one prototype, which was stolen after the project was cancelled. No attempt to retrieve it was made, as it was deemed as dangerous for the one wielding it as those being fired at, as without proper bracing to maintain a level firing angle, the ammunition could go off in the barrel and cause an explosive backfire." She gave the shady salesman a very direct look. "Now...how did you acquire it, hmm?"
"What are ya, a fed?" he demanded angrily.
"Nope," Twilight countered, glowering at him. "I'm a member of the original design team for the Gadgetron RYNO project. And you have two choices: one, you hand over the RYNO to me for safe and proper disposal of a flawed weapon, or I trigger the ammunition to detonate remotely for safe disposal...also dealing with the criminal who would willfully sell such a dangerous weapon." Her horn glowed. "You have ten seconds."
"Here, take it!" the now terrified salesman said, tossing her the RYNO as he ran for it.
Twilight smiled as she held the RYNO in her telekinesis. "If I see you again, I'm reporting you for selling a Category 3 Weapon without proper license!" Popping open the side panel of the RYNO, she made a few tweaks before closing it. "There we go. All fixed."
"Wait," Ratchet interrupted, "what about-"
"Oh, those all were problems," Twilight agreed, "but after reading those documents, I saw the major flaw they had been making with the design, and I figured out how to fix it. Still needs to be braced level to fire, though." Pulling out some belts, she strapped the RYNO to her back, the barrel positioned just over her head so the rockets it launched wouldn't interfere with her horn or wings. "Seem stable enough?"
"Sure you need that firepower?" Ratchet asked jokingly. Twilight merely stuck out her tongue in response.
Between the RYNO, her new fireball spell, and Ratchet's own arsenal watching her back, Twilight made short work of any hostiles that approached, giggling happily at how effective the RYNO proved to be against large groups. "The only problem is the limited ammo supply...I'll have to figure out how to tweak that..."
"Perhaps you can convert the rockets to energy projectiles and design it to slowly refill its own ammo by absorbing ambient energy?" Clank offered.
Twilight grinned widely. "That just might work! It'd take a bit to redesign it to apply the homing capacity to energy based ammunition - plasma would probably be the most accurate - but the ambient energy restoration would be on the same principle as a lot of my magic, which manipulates ambient energy via the application of magical fields..."
As Twilight trailed off babbling the new specs she would give the RYNO, Clank turned to Ratchet. "Twilight is beginning to frighten me," he said calmly.
"Why? You're the one who made the suggestion."
"I was being facetious."
After skipping over a high security segment of laser grids by Boost Jumping off a magical platform Twilight built in order to walk over the top of the focus pillars, they made it to the central square. There, they spotted a green skinned woman in a skimpy purple outfit. As Twilight stared at her as they approached, she found herself thinking of a spell she had read about for some reason, though she quickly dashed those thoughts away.
"Welcome to the Hovercon Intergalactic Hoverboard Competition!" she greeted them excitedly. "Captain Qwark's giving away a brand new Platinum Zoomerator to the winner of this competition!"
"Eeeeee!" Twilight squealed, zooming circles around the woman on her board. "If I win I get to meet Captain Qwark!" Shooting off a large stack of crates, she did a triple flip through the air before stopping in her usual mad spin on landing.
"Hey, nice moves there, kid!" the woman complimented her.
"Skid taught me how to ride it!" Twilight replied eagerly.
"Wait...you don't mean Skid McMarx?"
"Yup!" Twilight confirmed. "And his agent said if I win this competition, he'll sign me!"
"Well, then we'll just have to see how you do," the woman replied. "You ready to race?"
Twilight kept herself low to her board as the race began, aiming for the first boost tile she saw. She knew that her own lower weight meant that it was harder to build up velocity on the board, since she couldn't get a strong enough forward angle without losing balance entirely. However, maintaining the boosted velocity once she hit the boost panel proved to be incredibly easy. Not only did her low body weight and small size mean she didn't slow down as much, keeping her horn pointed forward cut the air resistance in the same way a plane increased aerodynamics with a pointed nose.
Between that and using her wings for fast turns while maintaining velocity, Twilight had lapped every other racer once - and the one in last twice - by the time she finished her third lap, squeeing in excitement as she braked to claim the victory prize.
Outside the race, however, her face fell as she saw Qwark...on a vidscreen.
"Hi folks, Captain Qwark here!" he announced. "It's my distinct pleasure to introduce this year's Hovercon Intergalactic Champion. Let's give it up for newcomer-"
At this point, the screen cut to a static image of Twilight, and a synthesized voice over stated, "Twilight Sparkle," in an emotionless monotone.
The screen then cut back to the prerecorded message of Qwark's, as he explained exactly what a Model T-15 Platinum Zoomerator was. Twilight ignored the explanation, though. After all, she'd read the memo on it when Gadgetron first produced it, and had already been asked by the company to collaberate with the production of the Model T-20. Accepting the drive unit from the race announcer, she sullenly attached it to her board.
As the message ended, the race announcer kneeled down beside Twilight. "You were really looking forward to meeting him, huh?" she asked sympathetically.
"Yeah..." Twilight admitted sadly.
The woman thought for a time. "Well...I'm not really supposed to mention this, but..." She pointed at a barred gate. "His trailer's on the other side of that gate. He'll be in their for a while, so if you can make your way around-"
"EEEEEE!" Twilight shrieked excitedly, her horn flaring brightly. The gate - and the wall it was braced in - were ripped from their moorings by her telekinetic grip as she raced for the trailer. "Captain Qwark!" she screamed out happily.
The guard in front of the trailer took one look at what approached him - a purple filly with wing and horn, swinging a massive chunk of building about in a glowing field of energy with the RYNO strapped to her back - and immediately ran for it. "I'm not getting paid enough for this shit!" he yelled, leaping into a cab and speeding away.
The race announcer sat down heavily on her rump as she stared after Twilight, Ratchet and Clank already in pursuit of her. "...guess I cheered her up..." she said finally.
Captain Qwark shot to his feet as the door to his trailer burst open. "What the-"
"EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Twilight screamed happily, slamming into him hard enough to knock him back against the wall as she hugged his massive forearm with all four legs. "Captain Qwark!"
Captain Qwark stared at the tiny filly clinging to his arm, for the first - but not likely to be the last - time in his life, rendered completely speechless.
Twilight then hopped back, pulling her autograph book out. "Can I have your autograph?" she begged.
Qwark grinned happily. "Certainly!" he replied, on more familiar ground now. "Anything in particular you'd like me to write, Twilight Sparkle?"
Twilight gasped. "You know my name?" She bounced happily. "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh!"
"Of course I know your name," Qwark replied. He didn't mention that probably more of the galaxy would know her on sight than him, given how unique her appearance was...not to mention being one of Gadgetron's most valued developers at the age of 6. "I've been expecting you...and your friends, what was it...Ratchet and Spank?"
Twilight giggled. "it's Clank," she absently corrected, her eyes shining as Qwark signed her autograph book. "But wait!" she said as a thought struck her. "If you were expecting us, why were you asleep when I came in?"
Qwark chuckled. "Well...I wasn't expecting you quite so soon, so I took a little siesta. Being a Galactic Hero is exhausting work, after all." He tilted his head. "Say, how did you get here so fast?" He glanced at the time. "The race was only three minutes ago. It should have taken you at least 20 to make it through the sewers to get over here."
Twilight chuckled nervously. "I...took a shortcut." With this distraction, her horn stopped glowing. A loud crash could be heard outside.
"What was that?" Qwark asked, spinning into a combat stance as Ratchet and Clank came inside.
"That was the gate and wall that used to separate this square from the central square where the race sign up is held," Clank explained. "Twilight appears to have dropped it."
"I'll put it back!" Twilight hastened to assure everyone.
Qwark grinned widely. "If you have that kind of power, then maybe you can help me."
"Help you with what?" Ratchet asked as Twilight's eyes lit up in eagerness.
"There's a dastardly plot being hatched to destroy our planets..." Qwark intoned.
"You know?" Twilight asked, shocked. "About how Chairman Drek is taking chunks from other planets to build a new Blargian home world?"
"Indeed," Qwark intoned dramatically. "And I have information regarding the plot that is of supreme importance. And I believe that we, together, can put a stop to this madness...but only if you are ready!"
"We're ready!" Twilight eagerly proclaimed. "How can we prove it to you?"
Grinning, Qwark pulled out an infobot. "This infobot contains coordinates for my secret base on Planet Umbris," he informed them conspiratorially. "It's where I go to train and keep in shape. I've been watching you three, and I have never seen anyone with so much raw heroic potential. But that potential needs to be brought out, tested in the fires of adversity and forged into the steel of ability. If you can clear my training course, then I will know that you are true heroes...and ready to face the truth."
Ratchet was beginning to get star struck at this point himself. "Captain Ratchet, huh? I like the sound of that."
"We won't let you down, sir!" Twilight and Clank respond together, Twilight with considerably more enthusiasm than Clank, even going so far as to salute.
"I know you won't!" Qwark proclaimed, waving as they left to head for their ship. Turning, he headed for his own ship.
However, deep inside his soul, something quivered at having seen the shining hero worship, the idolization, the hope shining in Twilight's eyes. Suddenly, the plans he had made seemed less business, and more personal...and a seed of doubt wormed its way into his invincible pride. And a voice he had long forgotten whispered in his mind. A voice from his past. His own voice, the one that had told him to be a hero before the fame and money of hero work had gone to his head. It whispered a question.
Twilight stared up at the announcer woman for a time, then finally spoke up. "Excuse me, Miss?" she said cautiously.
"Yeah?" she asked. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, there's this new spell I've been working on," Twilight explained, "and I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me test it."
The woman shrugged. "Sure, why not?" she said. "Knock yourself out."
Nodding, Twilight lowered her head and focused her magic through her horn. The woman's breasts began to glow.
"Whoa!" she exclaimed. "What's this? It feels weird!"
"It's the spell," Twilight said, screwing up her face. "Now hold still."
Slowly, the woman's breasts began to expand, her tight fitting top expanding along with it to contain them. "Ooookay..." the woman commented, glancing down at them. "That feels weird..." She blushed. "Also kinda nice..."
Ratchet and Clank both stared - Ratchet slack jawed, Clank somewhat confused - as the woman's bust line expanded several cup sizes. After a time, though, Twilight lost focus on the spell, and the woman's body returned to normal.
"Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Twilight squealed happily, bouncing in the back seat of their ship as Clank set course for Planet Umbris. "We're going to go through Captain Qwark's training course! We're going to prove to be true heroes by the Qwark standard! And then we're going to save the galaxy with him!"
"Calm down, Twilight!" Ratchet cautioned as her bouncing rocked the spacecraft. "You don't want to use up all your energy getting excited about the course and then have none left to clear it, do you?"
Twilight immediately settled down. "Right. Conserve energy, show my stuff!" She was still grinning from ear to ear with excitement, and a quiet "Eeeeeeee!" escaped her mouth as she struggled to control herself.
Ratchet rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Kids," he said jokingly to Clank as he initiated lift off, forgetting for the moment that he himself had gotten just as excited over sillier things as little as two years ago.
As they arrived on Planet Umbris, Qwark greeted them via a megaphone on a helicopter. "Welcome to my Challenge Course," he called out. "Now is your chance to prove yourselves strong and brave, like me!" He chuckled deprecatingly. "Conquer it, and you'll join me in my fight against evil!"
"Haven't we done enough already!" Ratchet called back.
"We'll clear this course in record time, sir!" Twilight called out.
"What?" Qwark called out. "I can't hear you!"
As Ratchet tried shouting louder, Twilight frowned. Focusing her magic, a spot of glowing light appeared in front of her mouth and another right beside Qwark's ear. "We'll clear this course in record time, sir!" she said clearly into the glowing spot, her words coming out the other right into Qwark's ear.
"That's the spirit!" Qwark called back. "Do me proud!" He lowered the megaphone. "Do me proud..." he mumbled.
Clank wasn't certain, but he could have sworn he saw a brief conflicted look flash across Qwark's face as the chopper flew off.
"Alright!" Twilight said eagerly. "Let's go!" Turning, she rushed off towards the course.
"Twilight!" Ratchet called after her, yanking Clank onto his back as he ran. "Wait up! Be careful!"
Twilight, however, plainly had no intention of slowing down. Leaping into a long glide over the first gap, she used her Swingshot to latch onto the second target for an extra boost in speed and altitude, which allowed her to easily glide over the first bomb launching turret, dropping a bomb from her own modified bomb glove to blow it up and clear the path for Ratchet. A fireball from her horn took out the next one as she came in for a landing on the bridge. As she came across the first set of proximity mines, she seized them in her telekinesis, dragging them along behind her as she ran.
Discovering that she was actually too small a target for the machine gun turrets to track, she ignored them and merely leapt over the fire when the automatic sweep came towards her. She used the proximity mines she seized to take out any others she encountered along the path, along with bomb launching turrets she could destroy, always making sure to hold at least three mines for emergencies.
When she reached the first switch locked door, she managed it easily by stepping on one switch while pressing the other two with her telekinesis. It was only after pressing them all that she realized they were on a timer and did not have to be pressed simultaneously. Chuckling at her own exuberance, she managed the next switch set that way, using her captured mines and a fireball to take out the four bomb turrets in the way.
As she crossed the next bridge, she had a momentary panic moment as part of the bridge started to collapse under her. However, quick thinking and a magic step held it in place until she'd disembarked on the other side, letting it fall. Glancing back, she made sure the gap was narrow enough that Ratchet and Clank could clear it with the Heli-pack, then continued onward. Recognizing the unsteady platforms of the next bridge, she created a single magic step to cover the whole bridge to cross on.
Using her hover board, racing through the barbed wire maze proved easy, as the board actually kept her above the level of the machine gun fire. Clearing the next gap with her Swingshot, she continued through the next set of obstacles. Her hover board made the following maze of machine gun fire and switches easy to clear, using her telekinesis to depress the switches while hovering above the machine gun fire on her board. Finding the door the switches opened, she continued onward.
Past another switch set and an easily dispatched group of mines, and after climbing a ladder using her magic steps - utilizing three at a time as Clank had suggested, and anchoring them in the walls for extra stability - she was forced to come to a screeching halt at the edge of a large pool. Her ears went flat against her skull. "No fair!" she whimpered, staring in despair at the obstacle she couldn't easily clear. Managing to glide over to another platform, she sighed. "And I was doing so well."
Spotting a large, predatory looking fish in the pool, Twilight seized it in her telekinesis and levitated it out of the water. She did a quick scan with her magic. "Well, I am getting hungry," she decided. Sending a spear of magic into the fish's skull, she killed it quickly and cleanly before roasting it with a fireball. She then proceeded to fill her stomach as she waited for Ratchet and Clank to catch up.
As she'd cleared most of the obstacles from the course, she didn't have long to wait. "Hey Twilight!" Ratchet called, leaping across to her. "I told you to wait up!"
"Sorry," Twilight apologized. "Guess I got a little excited. Hungry?" She offered Ratchet some of the roated fish.
"Starved!" Ratchet replied eagerly, grabbing a hunk of the fish. "Thanks, Twi!" He chowed down eagerly. "But how come you stopped?"
"Because I can't swim," Twilight reminded him sadly.
Ratchet smacked his face with his hand. "Dang, keep forgetting to teach you when we get a chance. Well, don't worry. We don't need to swim here." Grinning, he pulled out the Hydrodisplacer. "Ta-da! Here you go!"
Twilight blinked at the one popular Gadgetron gadget she hadn't been on the development team for. "So...what is it?"
"It is a Hydrodisplacer," Clank commented.
"Sweet! I've always wanted one of these..." Twilight struggled to say enthusiastically. Taking it in her magical aura, she examined it carefully. "I...think?"
"Try using it on that interface," Clank suggested, gesturing to an object Twilight didn't recognize.
Shrugging, Twilight did so, then stared in amazement as the pool instantly drained into the Hydrodisplacer. "Sweet!" she said eagerly, leaping down into the drained pool.
"What happened to wait up?" Ratchet yelled after her, rushing to follow.
"I promised Captain Qwark I'd make a record for the course!" Twilight called back. "I have to make up for lost time!"
Running through the tube at the bottom of the pool, Twilight used a magic bridge to cross the next pool, hearing Ratchet just behind her. Emptying the hydrodisplacer into the ocean off the side of the platform, Twilight drained the next pool, followed the no longer underwater path, and used magic steps to allow herself and Ratchet to ascend back to the path.
Using a series of small magic bridges in the same style of her magic steps, the trio crossed the next two pools - one full, one empty - depressing the switches to open the door as they went. Continuing through the narrow path, Twilight spotted Captain Qwark waiting for them.
"We made it!" Twilight called out happily, rushing up to the Captain. "Did we make a record? Did we? Did we?"
Qwark looked quite shocked to see them so soon. "Indeed you did!" he proclaimed. "You cleared the course faster than I usually do." Remembering what he'd seen of Twilight's capabilities, he had to ask, "Umm, it's still more or less in one piece, right?"
"I only broke turrets!" Twilight promised.
Qwark chuckled happily. "Well, well, you three continue to surprise me." He frowned slightly, a conflicted expression crossing his face.
As he watched the unfolding of events from within the Great Clock, Orvus paused time once more as something caught his eye.
"Is something the matter, sir?" Sigmund asked. "Is this moment important?"
"Indeed it is," Orvus said, looking at the readings the Clock's systems gave him. "Three possible futures exist here, all resting on the decisions of that man. And one such path...could lead to the destruction of several galaxies, the ultimate failure of the Great Clock, and the destruction of all reality."
Sigmund shivered. "You mean the fate of all existence rests on him?" Sigmund asked. "We're doomed!"
"Not so," Orvus interrupted. "That future of total loss requires him to be clever here."
"We're saved!" Sigmund cried happily. Orvus couldn't help but laugh at that.
Still, Orvus thought to himself, which path will you walk, Captain? If you are blinded by greed and weakness, the path shall make both Ratchet and Twilight into much greater warriors, and eventually lead to greatness for all of you. But if you heed honor, this journey will be much shorter...and there is no predicting what will come with future events when your nemesis returns. And more than that, the four stars may not form.
Orvus sighed sadly. What kind of universe is this...that the good must be evil for the sake of history?
"Step into the Ring of Heroes," Qwark said, jumping back onto a floating platform, "and I will finally give you what you deserve."
Clank eagerly raced onto the platform.
Orvus held his breath as he watched.
"Ratchet!" Clank called back as Twilight raced onto the platform as well. "This is no time to be cautious! We have reached our goal!"
"Come on Daddy!" Twilight yelled happily, bouncing on the platform. "We're going to be heroes!"
Orvus exhaled explosively in relief. "The darkest path has been evaded..."
Cautiously, Ratchet stepped out onto the platform. "...something fishy's going on here," he mumbled under his breath, watching Qwark.
Qwark stared at the three of them on the platform for a time, his face in an agony of indecision. Then, his eyes closed, he pressed the switch behind his back.
The platform dropped, letting the trio fall into the depths.
Orvus sat back sadly, frowning.
"What's wrong, sir?" Sigmund asked. "Is...is this a bad path?"
"Ultimately? No," Orvus said sadly. "Ultimately, it will lead to great things, and the awakening of the Four Stars."
"Four Stars?" Sigmund asked.
"Not a part of our responsibility," Orvus explained, "but something that has to happen nonetheless." He sighed sadly. "But...this path will lead to mistakes, regrets, and pains that may never fade completely. Fate sometimes demands great sacrifice." He shook his head. "And sometimes...none can be sure if they were worth it."
As the trio landed softly, thanks to a quick inertia dampening spell from Twilight, they looked around, Clank and Twilight in confusion, Ratchet in sudden rage. Seeing Qwark lowering down on the platform, Twilight spoke up. "Captain! Why?"
Qwark frowned down at her. "I'm the spokesman for Drek's new planet," he explained. "That means, amongst other things, I have to stop anything getting in the way of the planet being completed. And...unfortunately, that means you three."
"You won't get away with this!" Ratchet snarled, brandishing his wrench as Twilight shrunk in on herself in tears.
"...one can only hope," Qwark muttered under his breath, his eyes still on Twilight. "I wish it hadn't had to come to this," he said sadly, his platform rising up as a large green beast broke free of its bindings. "I never wanted to hurt you, Twilight. I'm...so sorry." On those last words, his platform vanished.
As the Blargian roared, stomping its way towards them, Ratchet leapt to Twilight's defense, as she just huddled there. The worst part for Twilight was that, somehow, she knew Qwark's apology was the truest words he spoke there. For some reason, that realization came on the heels of an unfamiliar taste in her mouth that she somehow knew was the taste of apples. "No..." she muttered, clenching herself.
"Twilight?" Clank asked nervously.
"No..." Twilight repeated, green fog leaking out the edges of Twilight's closed eyes. "No!" she screamed, red energy pouring forth from her horn, instead of her usual purple. "No!"
On this last scream, she jerked her head. Red energy surrounded the Blargian, and it was flung forcefully through the solid rock of the chamber's ceiling.
Back in his ship as he flew off, Qwark was surprised as he saw the Blargian come bursting out of the mountain, fly off into the distance, and crash into the sea. "Nope!" he said quickly, focusing on his course. "Didn't see it, didn't see it..."
Back in the magma chamber, Twilight buried her face in Ratchet's chest. "Why?" she wailed. "Why would he do this?"
Ratchet, at a loss for what else to do, held her close and stroked her comfortingly. Clank stood back, struggling to control his own emotional state.
In the Great Clock, Orvus sighed as he watched events unfold. "This is the path fate requires," he explained to Sigmund. "This is the darkness I foresaw, that I wish could have been avoided."
Sigmund stared, wiping his optics as he saw the filly's sorrow.
As the trio headed into a ship hangar through a door in the magma chamber, Clank spotted an infobot. "I wonder what this infobot is for?" he asked curiously.
Ratchet ignored him. Carrying Twilight - who had cried herself to sleep - he walked right up to the ship in the hangar. Popping the cockpit open, he tucked Twilight in in the back seat.
Unsure where Ratchet's mind was, Clank reviewed the footage on the infobot. Having watched it, he approached Ratchet. "Ratchet, the Planet Batalia is under attack by Drek's forces. A commando is calling for assistance!"
"Not my problem," Ratchet said simply, closing the cockpit and hopping back down to the floor, crossing his arms.
Clank stared up at Ratchet. "What do you plan to do? Ignore the fate of the galaxy?"
"Qwark made it pretty clear what happens to people who try to be heroes," Ratchet said bluntly. "You think I want to turn out like that? The galaxy can take care of itself." He leaned back against the ship, glaring down at the little robot.
"What will you do then?" Clank asked angrily. "Pursue Qwark for vengeance?"
"He made his own bed!" Ratchet snapped. "It's punishment enough that he has to sleep in it. The only place I'm going is back to Veldin, so I can help Twilight through this."
Clank's eyes widened in shock. "You realize if you abandon the quest, than Qwark and Drek have won," he pointed out, trying to goad Ratchet.
"Let them!" Ratchet growled. "You know what I've done for the past six years? I've dedicated myself to taking care of Twilight, trying to give her the childhood I didn't get. I tried to fill her world with the childish wonder I had to leave behind just to survive. I failed to give her faith in Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, or even in the Tooth Fairy...but reading her the stories of Captain Qwark helped her believe in heroes. She genuinely believed that there were good people out in the galaxy who dedicated themselves to the good of others, whatever the personal cost. She believed." He slammed his fist against the ship. "And now she's lost that, too! Now she knows, there's no such thing as heroes. And the worst part of all this is I have no one to blame but myself."
"How do you mean?" Clank asked in surprise. "Is it not Qwark who-"
"I've known for years that Qwark couldn't be all he was cracked up to be," Ratchet interrupted. "But he was cool, and Twilight idol worshiped what he stood for...so I didn't say anything. I laid the groundwork for this, so I can't blame Qwark for being human instead of an ideal. I knew that was all he really was from day one." He glared down at Clank. "I really want to blame you. I want to so much. But Twilight was eager enough to meet Qwark and fight alongside him even without your urging. And I knew something was up with him wanting us to step into the 'Ring of Heroes', but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to discourage Twilight." He sighed. "I can only blame myself.
"So I'm going to take her back to Veldin, take her home, and help her get over this. And you're going to help by activating the ship, even if I have to hold you down while Twilight excises your robotic ignition system!"
Clank took a step back at Ratchet's vehemence, but then stood his ground. "You will not do that," Clank said simply.
"You willing to bet your circuitry on Twilight not taking you apart?" Ratchet asked, quirking an eyebrow up quizzically.
"No, if you told Twilight to do so, in her current mental state I imagine she would do so without hesitation," Clank explained. "I will, however, bet my functionality that you won't tell her to do so to someone she knows as a friend."
"Oh?" Ratchet asked. "And what makes you so sure?"
"Because you are too good a person to do so."
Ratchet actually laughed, though it was cynical laughter. "And where do you get off claiming I'm such a good person, anyway?"
"Because the only reason Twilight would believe so strongly in good people who chose to be heroes would be because she had known one for most of her life," Clank said simply. "Qwark's betrayal hurts her so much because she knows, from you, that he could have been better than that. Because she knows you are better than him."
Ratchet stared at the eloquent robot, his arms unfolding as he listened.
"You say Qwark's actions have made her come to the conclusion that there are no heroes?" Clank asked. "Show her she is wrong. Be the hero she needs to believe in. Save the worlds Drek seeks to destroy. Stop Drek. Stop Qwark. Bring them not vengeance, but justice."
Ratchet slumped back against the ship, Clank's words running through his head. "And why," he asked finally, "would you think I'd bring Twilight along for when we would surely confront Qwark again? What good would that bring her?"
"Closure."
Ratchet stared down at the little robot for a time. Finally, he sighed. "Clank, right now I really don't like you."
"Understandable," Clank replied. "I do not find myself all that appealing just now for my part in Twilight's disillusionment, either."
Ratchet pushed himself to his feet and hopped up to the ship. "Set a course for Batalia, Clank."
Hovering into the cockpit, Clank began programming the course. "Course set."
"Let's go," Ratchet said calmly, taking the controls.
As the ship started entering the atmospheric envelope, Twilight awoke. "Where are we?" she asked groggily.
"Batalia," Clank replied. "Drek's forces are attacking, so we're here to lend a hand to a commando who sent a distress beacon."
"R-really?" Twilight asked in surprise. "W-we're still trying to save the day?"
"The day still needs saving," Ratchet replied as he triggered the landing gear.
Slowly, a smile spread its way across Twilight's face, and she rubbed away her tears. "...new ship?" she asked, struggling to control her emotions.
"Yeah!" Ratchet replied eagerly, hoping to distract Twilight from her inner turmoil. "Found it in a hangar back on Umbris. Pretty sweet ride, huh?"
"Yeah," Twilight agreed. "Certainly more comfortable than the last one."
Landing, the trio leapt out of the cockpit. A commando immediately began lecturing them. "At attention you deserting maggots-"
His rant was cut off as Twilight sealed his mouth with her magic. "We aren't your troops," she said coldly. "We're combat trained civilians responding to your distress beacon."
"So you can treat us with proper respect," Ratchet added, "or we can turn around and leave you to the bombardment."
As Twilight released her magical grip, the commando swallowed and nodded. "Right then," he said, regaining his bearing. "There's a turret in that fortress over there, and it needs to be repaired and used to shoot those bombers out of the sky before they reduce the planet to rubble! I'll be at the city entrance to give you further instructions!" With that, the commando left.
"Is that our only mission here?" Clank asked curiously.
Twilight checked her map. "According to the uplink, there's also one of his soldiers in some trouble along the grind rails just outside the city," she read off. "How about you two go handle them while I see about that turret?"
Ratchet blinked. "You sure you want us to split up?"
"I just woke up from a nap," Twilight pointed out. "Clinging to your back as you ride around on the rails, struggling to stay awake enough to not lose my grip and fall, does not sound like a good time. Besides...just now, I really want to blow some stuff up. It'll be cathartic, you know?"
"You sure you'll be okay by yourself?" Ratchet asked in concern.
"I'll be okay," Twilight replied. "Besides...I've got a lot to think about...or not think about, as the case may be."
Sighing, Ratchet nodded. "Alright. Just...be careful, okay? And meet back at the ship in no more than an hour."
"I will. And you too, Daddy," Twilight replied. They embraced before going their separate ways.
As Twilight made her way through the wrecked city, only half her mind was on the obstacles and enemies she faced. Since she'd managed to tweak her RYNO to have a much larger ammo capacity - it now had 200 rocket volleys in stock that she could replenish at any Gadgetron kiosk, and her employee discount (boosted by having been on the original design team for the weapon) reduced the price to manageable levels - she decided to test the weapon out. Braced on her shoulders, she was able to fire without even halting her steady walk towards the fortress. Nothing stayed standing for long under that deadly volley.
Twilight had intended to think her way through her emotions regarding Qwark's betrayal, but every time she tried to push her thoughts in that direction, they skittered away to random ideas. She would start coming up with some new spell, or go over a design for a new weapon or gadget, or grumble about how little depth Flight of the Pegasus had gone into the actual internal mechanics of Pegasus wings. She really wished she could fly, instead of just gliding, but every time she tried flapping her wings, she wound up crashing to the ground. She could never figure out what she was doing wrong.
Before she'd even realized it, she had made it to the fortress. She barely registered the commando muttering complaints about the out of reach bolt crank. He then noticed her.
"Alright, little lady! I need you to get into that compound and-"
Before he could finish, she levitated her Omniwrench over to the bolt crank and spun it open, extending the bridge.
"...right!" the commando said, obviously a little nonplussed. "Now get to that turret! And while you're at it, take this!" He handed her an infobot.
Twilight briefly watched the infobot with details on planet Orxon, the Blargian home world, before continuing into the fortress, obliterating all that got in her way with RYNO volleys. Getting behind the fortress, she spied the turret and headed towards it. Before she got there, though, she was starlted by a soft hand behind her ear and nearly fired her RYNO.
"Whoa, easy there Princess!" the Plumber cautioned with good humor. "Ease up on the trigger. You just looked like you could use a comforting scritchie scritchie."
Twilight smiled. "Mr. Plumber!" she said happily, relaxing into the ear scratch. "Good to see you're okay. What are you doing here?"
"Fixing the turret," he replied. "What about you?"
"Gonna use the turret to blow up the bombers."
He chuckled. "Good on ya. Better hurry while there's still some planet to save."
Nodding, Twilight hopped into the turret. At first it was mostly mechanical, just controlling the turret and taking out the bombers. However, as she continued taking out the ships, a slow grin began to spread over her face. Her magic began feeding into the turret through the controls, amplifying the destructive power of the shots. She surprised herself by laughing as she saw the last bomber explode, spinning down in a massive fireball towards the surface. She swung the turret around, seeking more targets.
"Whoa there!" the Plumber said, plucking her from the turret seat. "Reign it in there, Princess. What's gotten into you?"
Twilight blinked, her smile fading as she turned towards the turret in confusion. "I..."
He turned her face towards him and stared into her eyes. "Oh...it's not what got in...it's what got out." Sighing, he cradled her gently in a warm embrace. "Don't worry, princess...things'll get better eventually. Trust me."
She wasn't sure why, but Twilight felt completely safe in his embrace, and found herself happy to believe his words. "...promise?"
"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," he replied, doing the motions one armed while the other held her. "Here," he added, stuffing a Metal Detector into her saddlebags. "A new toy to play with to take your mind off all this."
Squealing happily, Twilight immediately began tinkering with the Metal Detector. "Hidden caches of bolts? How limiting! I can make it work better than that..."
"Don't be late to get back to the ship," he pointed out to her.
"Right!" Twilight remembered. "I'm almost out of time!" She smiled up at him. "Thank you! See you later!" With that, she teleported back to the ship.
He waved to the ship, watching as it took off with its three passengers. "You will, Princess. Good luck."
Coming in for landing, Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank proceeded along on Planet Gaspar. "From the looks of things, the only thing we need to get here is that Pilot's Helmet we saw in that infobot we got from the soldier we helped," Ratchet explained. "It'll take a bit of exploration, but-"
"Pilot's Helmet?" Twilight interrupted curiously.
"It is a device that allows pilots to control ships and other devices directly with their thoughts," Clank explained.
"Oh! You mean a neural interface like I put in the Power Gauntlet, but one that translates thought directives into remotely transmitted commands for whatever device it's interfacing with?" Twilight asked eagerly. "How does it know what form the commands should be in, or what type of commands the ship or gadget will accept? Or what wavelength to use, or-"
"Tell you what," Ratchet interrupted. "We'll see if we can't get two. If we can, you can have the second to take apart and see how it works."
Twilight squeed happily at that idea. She then blinked at the first wave of mechanaloids that attacked them. "Those kinda look like Mousers from that ninja comic you like so much, Daddy."
"And me without a bo staff," Ratchet joked, pulling out his Omniwrench.
Cutting their way through the bots, they reached a turret. "You take it, Daddy," Twilight offered. "I...don't really want to be in a turret just now."
Ratchet blinked in confusion. "Umm...okay." He hopped onto the turret and proceeded to shoot out the enemies that were near, as well as clearing the path further. Through the first gate were spheroid mechanaloids that flew at them while charging for an explosion. Twilight dealt with them by grabbing them in her telekinesis and holding them far enough away that the explosions didn't touch any of them.
Continuing onward, another turret opened yet another path. Taking an elevator up, they used the same strategies as they continued, though Twilight sometimes held the explosive spheroids in range of other robots so their self-destruct took out other obstacles as well. When they came to a room with several gunners taking cover between tanks, Twilight dealt with that by smashing the tanks together, crushing the gunners between them.
Spying several gunners in the next room with a turret, Ratchet had an idea. "Twilight, do you think you could use your magic to remotely manipulate that turret?"
Twilight thought for a bit. "Maybe..." Focusing on the turret, she energized her magic. Gripping the turret, she spun it towards the gunners and triggered the guns, blasting away until they and the gate blocking the path onward were slag.
"Nicely done, Twi!" Ratchet praised, petting her just behind her horn.
Twilight smiled, nuzzling into the caress. "Hmm..." she murmured as a thought occurred to her. "I wonder if that's something like how the Pilot's Helmet works..."
Through the door and past several more spheroid bombers, they found two functional Pilot's Helmets. "What do ya know, Twi? Two of them after all," Ratchet said happily, donning one instantly.
"According to the infobot Twilight acquired, our next stop should be Orxon," Clank explained. "From the sound of the infobot, it has a highly toxic atmosphere. I do not believe either of you would be able to survive on the surface without some form of breathing assistance."
"Then waiting for you to explore and find us a lead should give me plenty of time to study the helmet there," Twilight pointed out. "And I can also see if I can tweak the Metal Detector I got back on Batalia so it can detect more than just hidden stashes of bolts."
"Sounds like we've got a plan," Ratchet replied. "Let's get back to the ship."
Putting words to actions, the trio took off for Orxon.
When they arrived, Twilight was able to create an atmosphere bubble around the cockpit to hold the breathable air in long enough to allow Clank to climb out. "Take this with you," Twilight told Clank, handing him her Hunter's Guild License. "You can use it to buy anything from shops or vending machines you might find. Anything you find out there might be useful for us, or at the very least something else for me to tinker with."
Clank agreed. "Close the cockpit as soon as I'm clear of it," he instructed. "Don't waste your energy or air." With that, he hopped out.
Twilight watched him walk off into the poisonous atmosphere. "I hope he'll be alright," she whispered worriedly.
"Don't worry, Twilight," Ratchet said, beckoning her over beside him. "Clank will be fine. You've seen how tough he is. Besides, he handled himself just fine exploring outside the BTS."
"True," Twilight agreed, laying down beside him. "I guess I can always tinker to take my mind off it." Pulling out her Pilot's Helmet and Metal Detector, she set them down before her and then pulled out her tool kit. "So which do you think I should work on first?" Twilight asked.
"Start with the Pilot's Helmet," Ratchet suggested. "You need to work it to fit over your head, after all. Maybe you can make it interface with your magic through your horn."
"Good idea!" Twilight said happily. She grabbed the Pilot's Helmet and her tool kit, beginning her tinkering.
Ratchet smiled down at Twilight as she tinkered away. He never got tired of watching her when she got into this mode. She became so totally absorbed in what she was working on that everything else would fade away for her. She never noticed discomfort or distractions. It was just her and her project. Watching her intuit the various aspects of a device - whether assembling or disassembling - was always amazing to watch, and she never gave up until she'd completed the task. Frequently, he had to stop her forcefully for mealtimes and bedtime...although when she was younger, he frequently found her climbing out of bed to continue to tinker. Half the time, that was because she was just that eager to finish the project. The other half, she was apparently genuinely sleep-inventing.
As he watched her work, mumbling about the neural circuitry, brain mapping, and data transference wavelengths, he occasionally made a suggestion or pointed out something she had briefly overlooked, even helping her write out her calculations and interpretations of schematics. As much fun as it was watching her work and working with her, the real pleasure Ratchet had was seeing her get back to herself again. He had feared that Qwark's betrayal may have scarred her emotionally, and had wondered how he could possibly help her overcome. But he could see her healing herself here, as she immersed herself in her true Element: the Magic of Science, and the Science of Magic.
He never had figured out why the marks on her flanks glowed every so often when they worked like this. She was always so absorbed when it happened that he never wanted to bring it up and interrupt the fun they had together.
"There we go!" Twilight said happily, setting the helmet onto her head, her horn slipping right through a hole she had made for it in the redesign. "I was right about the way it converts thoughts into data, but it scans the object it's manipulating when first activating it to match thought patterns to data forms for transmission. A very nice design." She had colored her helmet a very dark violet, darker even than her mane, and the visor had been modified into two separate HUDs that slid over whichever eye would best receive information at any given time.
For some reason, the coloration of the helmet made Ratchet momentarily nervous, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. "So what will you be doing with the Metal Detector?" Ratchet asked.
"I'm thinking I can tweak it to scan surroundings for any type of hidden resource, whether bolts, upgrade components, or Raritanium," Twilight replied, taking hold of the device in her magic. As it swooped up into the air in front of her, it suddenly burst apart into all the finite parts, holding the original pattern of the device as each part rotated in her sight and magic. Her eyes widened as she gasped. "Wow!" she said in excitement. "I knew the modifications I made the the Pilot's Helmet to interface with my magic would have some unexpected side effects, but this! It's created a modified chronometric stasis field showing me the fundamental nature of each piece of the device and how they fit together! This is the perfect way to study such things!"
"Well," Clank said, stepping into the ship, "I'm feeling rather left out." He glanced from the modified Pilot's Helmet to the sketched out schematics to the floating, suspended Metal Detector parts. "It seems like all the fun stuff happened here."
As Twilight powered down her magic, the Metal Detector reassembled itself before depositing itself in her saddlebags. "Hey Clank! Welcome back! What did you find?"
Clank smiled. "First, I found these for Ratchet." He pulled out a pair of boots which immediately attached their bases to his chest plate.
"So, are you going to give them to me?" Ratchet asked.
"Magnet Boots!" Twilight gasped happily. "I remember reading about those in a Gadgetron report. Those will let you walk across any metallic surface the way I use that gravity realignment spell."
"Sweet!" Ratchet said, tugging them off Clank's body.
"I also acquired both Ultra and Premium Nanotech for the two of you," Clank added, pulling out four cans of nano-injector. "The extra boosters for the Heli-pack that allows me to launch both of you into the air enabled me to explore areas much higher than my normal jump height."
"Awesome!" Ratchet said eagerly, taking his and chugging them down.
"These should help if we run into any foes that can actually hit us," Twilight joked, sipping hers. "Ooh! Minty!"
"Finally, I believe the next planetary coordinates I have found will be a means to acquire new useful gear, as well as a way to let Twilight rest up." Opening his chest compartment one last time, he withdrew the infobot, playing the information it contained regarding the resort planet of Pokitaru.
Twilight tilted her head. "Well...other than all the toxic waste dumping, it looks like it could be a fun vacation spot...after we stop Drek, anyway."
"By then, they might even have cleaned up the toxic waste," Ratchet pointed out. "For now, let's see what we can do to help out there."
Plugging in the coordinates, they took off for Pokitaru.
Landing on Pokitaru, the trio looked around at the vast beaches, blue oceans, bright sun...despoiled by the flying ships dumping toxic waste into the oceans. "Drek's ships," Clank pointed out, identifying the logos.
"It's not enough they're ruining so many other worlds to 'build' their new one," Twilight growled. "They're also despoiling ones they have no interest in? Why couldn't they just dump their waste into a star or a black hole? That would cleanse it far more efficiently and for less than the cost of planetary reentry."
"We'll stop them," Ratchet promised. "That's all there is to it." The trio headed down the path to explore.
Part way down the path, they encountered the green skinned man in the Hawaiian shirt man they saw in the infobot. "Hey," he said eagerly, "you three are the first friendly faces I've seen in weeks." He pulled back a little hesitantly. "You are friendly, aren't you?"
"To you, yes," Twilight replied.
"To them, no," Ratchet added, gesturing at the ships dumping toxic waste.
"Well that's wonderful!" he said happily. "Down at the visitor's center, we've got a atmospheric gunship. We used to use it for tourist stunt flights, but if you know your way around the controls, you could probably use it to take out all these ships dumping waste into the waters and turning the wildlife vicious! If you can escort me to the visitor's center safely, I can give you the keys, you can use the gunship to shoot all those Blargian dumpships out of the sky, and I'll even throw our last two O2 masks in free of charge! How's that for the deal of a lifetime?"
"Say, Twilight, you teleported to the ship back on Batalia," Ratchet pointed out. "Could you teleport the four of us to the visitor's center?"
"Sorry, Daddy," Twilight apologized. "I'm only advanced enough to teleport myself safely, and even then only to a place I've been to or seen. We'll have to walk."
Ratchet shrugged. "It was worth a shot. Come on, let's go."
"We will escort you, sir," Clank assured the man. "You are safe with us."
"If you say so," he mumbled nervously.
At first, the only enemies they encountered were mutant puffer fish that bounced along in a manner not unlike the horntoads of Veldin, only slightly more durable. Ratchet and Twilight took turns slamming them into each other, Ratchet with the Power Gauntlet, Twilight with her telekinesis.
The next new enemy they encountered was a strange purple creature that launched fireballs at them with telekinetic energy. Twilight's magic fireballs proved more than a match, however, and as those were the only two types of enemies they encountered on their journey, they faced few obstacles.
"Hey," the resort manager said, "you two are pretty good!"
"Thanks!" Twilight said happily. "We do our best!"
"We have to be good if we're going to stop the Blarg," Ratchet explained.
"Hey, Dad?" Twilight spoke up. "When you shoot down the Blarg dumpships, think you could save a sample of the sludge they're dumping? I want to try something."
"What have you got in mind, little lady?" the manager asked worriedly.
"You wouldn't happen to have a sample of the sea water from before they started dumping saved, would you?" she asked.
"I think we've got one," he replied. "Why?"
"Well, if I can analyze the exact chemical and molecular nature of the unsludged water, the sludged water, and the sludge, I should be able to create a gadget to unsludge the oceans, reversing the effects of the sludge dumping on both water and wildlife."
The man stared, nearly getting bit in the ass by another blowfish. "You really think you can do that?"
"If Twilight says she can pull it off, she probably can," Ratchet spoke up, dealing with the blowfish.
"She isn't the youngest member of the Gadgetron development team in history for nothing," Clank pointed out.
The manager grinned expansively. "Tell you what, if you can pull it off and clean the oceans and fix the wildlife, all three of you can have lifetime passes to this resort once it's open again! All the amenities, food, and relaxation, free of charge!" He paused. "You'll still have to pay for souvenirs, though, aside from the O2 masks."
"Deal!" Twilight agreed.
Two skiff rides, two bridges, and countless enemies later, they reached the visitor's center. The garage was sealed shut, and there was a giant button sticking out of the ground in front of it.
"Alright," the manager said, "the jet fighter is in the garage...but I have no idea how to open this lock-"
Purple light surrounded the button lock, forcing it into the ground. The garage door opened.
"I designed that lock...as a joke," Twilight replied. "It's opened by slamming the top of it down with a certain amount of force. The original design was small, the force too easy to generate. Gadgetron scaled it up and made it viable."
"In that case, away you go!" the manager said, stepping aside.
As Ratchet and Clank walked towards the fighter, Clank voiced a question that confused him. "Why was the garage locked up in the first place?"
"Policy ever since a tourist crashed a plane."
"How come you didn't know how to open the lock?" Ratchet asked, climbing in.
"Eh, I don't trust the tourists, and the Board of Directors doesn't trust me."
Rolling her eyes at that as Ratchet and Clank prepared for takeoff, Twilight turned to the resort manager. "So where's the untainted sample?"
"Right over there in the machine shop," he gestured.
"Got it." Heading into the machine shop, she grabbed the sample. Coming back out, she scooped a sample of the water from the ocean. She then managed to capture a couple lumps of sludge as they fell from a Blarg dumpship. "Okay." She turned to the guy running the machine shop. "Excuse me, umm..."
"Name's Bob!" the man replied. "Now what exactly are ya doing with that there sample? It's the last untainted ocean water on the planet!"
"I know," Twilight replied. "That's why I'm going to use it to design an anti-contamination unit to clean the entire ocean. But I'll need some parts from your machine shop to make it once I get started, and I'll be too 'in the zone' to handle any distractions."
"And just who do ya think ya are to order me around like that?" Bob demanded.
"Twilight Sparkle, Gadgetron Research and Development, Hoverboard Champ of Blackwater City," Twilight replied. "Speaking of, we should swing by Planet Aridia to sign my agent."
Bob stared at her. Then he fell to his knees. "Take whatever ya want, just let me watch!"
Twilight tilted her head. "...Any chance you're related to Al of Al's Robo Shack?"
"Taught that idjit brother of mine everything he knows!" Bob bragged.
"I'd love to see you at work when I'm finished with this," she replied happily.
"If'n ya got a robot with ya, I'll hook it up with a thrusterpack, no charge!"
"Deal." Twilight then turned to her samples, and her eyes and horn glowed.
All three samples floated out of their containers, then burst apart to hover in bits like the Metal Detector had aboard the ship. All the bits floated, spinning as Twilight examined them with her magic at a molecular level.
After a time, bits and pieces of tech from the robo shack floated out, coming apart and assembling as they approached, taking the shape Twilight's magic and will guided them into. Losing herself to the magic, other things began being drawn in to be broken down and assembled: lampposts, one of the skiffs, parts of a bridge, and a good sized chunk of one of the dump ships that got torn off as it fell from the sky, and most of the jet fighter as Ratchet and Clank came in for a landing.
"Dude!" Ratchet said, staring in awe as the jet came apart around him.
"Astounding..." Clank breathed. "What power and control..."
Eventually, the construction was completed, and the samples restored themselves. A massive crawler tank/boat/sub with large intake and outburst valves landed in the ocean, floating on the surface.
"Awaiting control sample!" it stated.
The three samples returned to their vials. Twilight's eyes and horn ceased their glow. "D-daddy..." Twilight breathed, looking a little dizzy. "Can you stick that vial in the top receptacle?" She pointed to the vial with the clean sample. "And then I need some food..."
The resort manager rushed into the garage, yanking out a ton of dried fruit and vegetables. "These do?" he asked as Ratchet hopped on top of the construction to insert the sample.
"Sample accepted!" the vessel stated as Twilight fell into the dried produce and devoured it eagerly. The vessel dove into the water and began zooming around under the waves.
"So...that's it?" the manager asked.
Twilight took a breath after demolishing half the offered food. "It'll take a few weeks to fully purify the ocean, and it'll continue to actively purify it, using the untainted sample as a base. The wildlife will revert back to normal a few weeks later as all the toxins are leeched out of their systems." She continued eating.
"So in six weeks I can open again?" the manager asked. "I'll need to raise prices a bit to cover the losses, but that's a damn sight better than I thought I'd be just this morning!" He quickly pulled out three passes and two O2 masks. "Here you three are! Lifetime VIP passes to the resort, and the two O2 masks, as promised!"
As each of them took their passes, Twilight looked at the mask. "I'll need to modify it..." Her horn glowed. The mask came apart, then reassembled, fusing with the Pilot's Helmet. The O2 mask portion then slid back into the helmet, slid out to cover her mouth, then retracted again. "Sweet! Retractable breather mask!"
Bob then grabbed Clank. "And I promised ya a thrusterpack for this feller!" he said happily. "Watch close!"
Having finished eating, Twilight eagerly watched the installation of the Thrusterpack. "So...cool..."
Ratchet then scooped her up. "But now you need some rest." As Clank hopped to Ratchet's back, he carried Twilight to a nearby teleporter. "You can rest up on the way back to Orxon. With these masks, we can look around there for a new lead."
By the time they reached Orxon, Twilight was feeling much better, and was able to go out onto the surface with Ratchet. As they explored the surface, Ratchet shuddered. "This place is just awful," he said finally. "Say, Twi, any chance you could modify that thing you made for Pokitaru for this place?"
Twilight shrugged. "I could easily make a model with a jet function for atmospheric cleansing, but without pure samples for the control, it wouldn't really work."
"If the Blarg intend to build a new world for themselves, they probably have some means of creating the exact atmospheric mix they need," Clank pointed out. "Could you not redesign the control interface to accept a pure data programming sample?"
Twilight thought about it. "Maybe...it'd take a bit of work, but I probably could..."
"Twilight!" Ratchet gasped. "Do you realize what this means?"
"What?" Twilight asked, surprised.
"Pollution of the environment - air and oceans especially - is the biggest problem facing civilized planets across the entire galaxy!" Ratchet proclaimed excitedly. "You've made a device that can solve that problem...permanently! You could name your price for those things, and planets would pay through the nose for them!"
Twilight's eyes widened, realizing just how valuable the depolluter mechs would be if pollution really was such a huge problem. At first, the thought of the amount of profit that would bring dazzled her...until her eyes fell on a collapsed homestead on the path, decayed from pollution. She closed her eyes. "No," she said calmly.
"No?" Clank asked, confused. "You will not give Gadgetron the design?"
"No, I will," Twilight said, opening her eyes, the air around her to her sight sparkling like diamonds. "But the depolluter mechs will be sold to planetary governments at cost on the condition they are treated as part of the planetary infrastructure."
"What?" Ratchet and Clank both said together in shock.
"Do you think it's planetary governments that suffer the most from pollution?" Twilight asked. "The ones who make the policy choices that lead to pollution like this?" She gestured to the wasted planet. "No. They're all rich and can go wherever they want when the planet starts dying. It's the ordinary people who suffer, who lose everything when the planet dies." She stared firmly at the dilapidated home. "And they pay enough taxes to governments to make them fix these problems. Well now I've fixed it for them...they won't be pulling taxes sky high to do their own jobs off my work."
The diamond sparkle to the air seemed to fade, and she shook her head. "Come on, let's find us an infobot." Turning, she headed further along the path, leaving Ratchet and Clank staring after her, slackjawed in awe.
Catching sight of an infobot, Twilight approached it. As it turned to try and fly off, she seized it in her magic and dragged it down to her. Watching the message contained, they learned about the 'Planet Buster' Drek had prepared to blow a planet apart just so they could install their new planet in its orbit.
"We won't let them do that," Clank said bluntly.
"To Planet Hoven," Ratchet agreed, and the trio returned to their ship.
As the trio arrived on Planet Hoven, Twilight shivered slightly from the cold. "You okay, Twi?" Ratchet asked in concern.
"I'm alright," she said. "Just wasn't expecting it to be so cold."
"...on an ice planet," Ratchet drolled.
"Shut up!" Twilight whined.
"Look!" Clank interrupted, pointing. "That must be the ship that will transport the bomb."
"Then we'll just have to take it down before it launches," Ratchet explained.
"How?" Twilight asked. "The RYNO's the only weapon we've got that could do enough damage, including my magic, and it doesn't have the range!"
"We should ascend to the dock and attempt to prevent the launch," Clank suggested.
"Alright, that's a plan," Ratchet agreed.
As they continued down the path, several small, yeti-like creatures leapt out of the snow to attack them, though they were dealt with easily. Clank, however, paused at each corpse that was slain with blunt force instead of weapons fire, stripping off the undamaged sections of thick fur and storing it in his chest compartment via miniaturization.
"What are you doing?" Ratchet asked.
"This fur appears to protect these creatures from the intense cold," Clank pointed out. "While you do not suffer from it, Ratchet, it was my thought to use this fur to make Twilight a thick coat to keep her warm."
As Twilight beamed happily, Ratchet nodded. "A good thought, but I don't think we'll be here long enough for you to make the coat."
"Still, this may not be the only time we visit an especially cold environment," Clank pointed out. "I shall continue to collect the fur."
"Thank you, Clank," Twilight said happily, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
His eyes promptly shot open as his antenna sparked. "I appear to be suffering a higher brain malfunction," Clank pointed out.
Ratchet laughed. "Nice one, Twilight. You got him blushing!"
Twilight blushed at that. "Let's...let's just keep going, okay?"
Chuckling, Ratchet nodded, leading the way.
Other than some Blarg armed with blasters that had been modified to have stronger shots in exchange for a slower firing rate and less ammo, the small yeti-like creatures were the only enemy obstacle the trio encountered for quite some time as they explored the planet, trying to reach where the bomb ship was docked. The environmental hazards proved a bit more difficult. Super chilled rivers could freeze them at a single touch, as Twilight discovered when she threw a Blarg into it. Ice on the ground also proved problematic for Twilight, as her hooves got no friction, sending her careening about on the ice and hoping flaring her wings could steer her. Eventually, she settled that issue by pulling her hover board out for the ice segments.
Most other obstacles - like wall jump segments - were dealt with in much the same way as they had been previously. The large propensity of Swingshot targets helped Twilight maneuver, especially when she realized she could curve her swingshot mid flight with her magic, and use it to rappel up walls once it latched onto a Swingshot target.
Part way along the path, the group encountered a split in the path. "I think we should go up the lift platform," Ratchet pointed out. "We need to get up to the dock, after all."
"This other pathway seems more heavily guarded, though," Twilight pointed out.
"As we are on a time crunch," Clank offered, "perhaps we should take both paths, each of us taking the path we think will lead to the goal."
"Sound idea," Ratchet admitted reluctantly.
"Don't worry, Daddy," Twilight reassured him. "I'll be fine. Between my hover board and my RYNO, I'm pretty sure there's nothing here I can't handle."
Ratchet sighed in defeat. "Just be careful, okay?" he relented.
"I will, Daddy!" Twilight promised, kissing him on the cheek.
Smiling, Ratchet ruffled her mane, then turned to hop onto the hover lift, Clank onto his back.
As Twilight first started leaping over platforms, the first new enemy obstacle she encountered was smaller, faster versions of the spiked, explosive mines from Planet Umbris. These proved even easier for Twilight to grab in her magic, and she soon had a full swarm spinning in a protective sphere around her as she progressed. After all, she promised Ratchet she'd be careful.
A few launched at high speeds proved especially effective against attack copters and other enemies that attempted to hinder her progress. When she reached another jump slot, she paused. "Hmm...without someone to pull me up at the top, changing my gravimetric alignment could be dangerous. If only I had an elevator...oh!" Smiling, she conjured a magic step braced within the jump slot. Hopping on, she triggered the step to slide up the slot to the top, using the bracing of the step to the slot for movement - letting the magic roll its way up like a conveyor belt - instead of using levitation. "Why didn't I think of this before?" Twilight squealed happily at how effective it was.
Before long, Twilight's ascent brought her to where the ship was getting ready for takeoff. "Guess I was right about which way to go," she mumbled under her breath, rushing forward to ascend. Unfortunately, by the time she got to the ship, it had already initiated takeoff procedure and was out of her range to board.
Muttering curses she'd learned from other Gadgetron techs, she glanced around for some way of assaulting the ship. Spying an old defense turret, she rushed to it. Hopping on, she began shooting at the ship's vulnerable points, seeking to make it either crash or drop the bomb before it was armed. Attack copters attempted to stop her from reaching it and from shooting the ship down, but she set her RYNO to auto target them while she focused on the main ship. Before long, the ship was down, crashing into the icy waters below.
"Nice shooting, Twilight!" Ratchet called as he and Clank finally caught up to her.
Twilight smiled as she hopped off the turret. "Thanks, Daddy!" she said happily.
At that point, an infobot stepped out of hiding from behind the turret, playing its message regarding the Blarg assault force being massed on their moon base.
"Hope you got that coat ready, Clank," Twilight muttered. "I'll probably need it if I'm going to be space walking."
"Or you could modify some of your equipment into an armor unit that maintains body temperature in any environment," Ratchet suggested.
Twilight's eyes widened. "Actually, I think I can make something like that from this old turret!" Turning, she channeled her magic through her pilot's helmet, tearing the turret apart. Before long, a dark purple peytral and shoes adorned her form. "There!" she said happily. "These generate an energy field between them and my pilot's helm when the O2 mask is active. It will protect me completely from environmental effects!"
Ratchet grinned. "Nice, Twilight! And you're looking rather awesome, too!"
As Twilight smiled with pleasure, Clank couldn't help but be concerned. Something about the design of Twilight's armor filled him with inexplicable fear.
As the trio arrived on Gemlik Moonbase, Clank looked around. "I do not see Drek's ship," he mused. "We must have missed him."
"If he was ever here," Twilight commented, the faceplate of her helmet down to protect her in the vacuum. The overall appearance was that of a war helm not unlike that of the magnetically powered sympathetic supervillain of her favorite comic book, save air tight. "He was ordering his troops here. There's no guarantee he actually was here. He doesn't strike me as the type to dirty his own hands." She flushed. "Well, at least not based on what I've read in stories."
"That doesn't do us any good when it comes to catching up with him," Ratchet growled. "We need a faster ship."
"Perhaps this space station will supply the ship we'll need," Clank offered.
"We're going to pay for it, right?" Twilight asked worriedly.
Ratchet and Clank shared a credulous glance. "Sure," Ratchet said at last. "If there's anyone in charge of the ship, we'll pay for it."
"If not," Clank offered, "we'll leave an IOU."
Twilight smiled. "Alright. Let's go!"
Heading into the base, it quickly became clear that some areas of the base were sealed off by force fields. However, the new Devastator and Visibomb Guns the Gadgetron vendor provided them - two more weapons of Twilight's design that were just now ready for testing - proved most effective at taking down targets at such great range, and they were more than able to take out the force field generating towers as they went.
Other than that, the enemies and obstacles they encountered proved to be no trouble for the trio. The robotic ducks were easily dispatched with fireballs, the Power Gauntlet, or any other small arms fire. The Blargian troops were just as easily dealt with, and Twilight was able to telekinetically manipulate the turrets the other troops attempted to control. While she wasn't able to turn the turrets enough to take out the ones controlling the other turrets, she was able to lock them at angles that allowed the three of them to pass safely and take them out from behind. The only other real hostile they encountered were the occasional jet fighter. However, Twilight was able to spot them before entering their assault range, and a well steered Visibomb took them down without any danger to the traveling trio.
When they had to cross over a ventilation duct over rising and lowering hazardous liquids, Twilight discovered that her gravity realignment spell was only so effective when applied to suspended surfaces. "At some point, I want to take a look at those magneboots," Twilight commented to Ratchet. "They have got to be easier than this, especially if I can convert them to hoof boots."
"When we finish dealing with Drek and get back to Veldin to rest, they're all yours!" Ratchet promised, stabilizing her with a hand on her shoulders.
Later on, when three turret guards were completely protected by the building they were in and completely covering the path the trio had to go through, Twilight paused, glancing around for an advantage. Spying a nearby glass lamp, she broke it, levitated the shards, and then sent them through the slits in the turret shields the guns shot through to take down the Blarg guards. Ratchet bumped his closed fist against her hoof in praise for good thinking.
Twilight winced as they rode the next elevator - which flipped over halfway down - as her gravity spell struggled to kick in. It did not agree with actively rotating surfaces. She was quite relieved when they were able to leap down from the ceiling to the floor shortly after stepping out of the elevator. She didn't even mind being instantly swarmed by hostiles, especially as they were easily dealt with once she and Ratchet went back to back.
Taking the next elevator out, they spotted Captain Qwark. Ratchet and Twilight's eyes both narrowed at the sight of him, and he flinched back at their glares. Leaping into a large star fighter, he flew off.
"We have to go after him," Ratchet growled.
"There appears to be ships available in there," Clank stated, pointing into a nearby hanger.
"Right! We'll both take one!" Twilight proclaimed, rushing to leap into one as Ratchet claimed another. While Ratchet needed Clank to activate his, Twilight's magic running through her Pilot's Helmet was able to override the Robotic Ignition protocol in hers.
As the two of them pursued Qwark, the Captain attempted to communicate with them over an open comms, but neither of them responded at first. "I'm doing this for your own good," he warned. "You have no idea what you're getting into."
When Ratchet took out the first engine of the craft, Qwark continued. "You don't have what it takes to stop Drek! He'll eat you both alive!"
As Twilight took out the second, Qwark pleaded with her. "You don't really want to do this...do you, Twilight?" Twilight said nothing in response.
When Ratchet took out the third engine, Qwark turned on the ship's shields and called for back up, which Ratchet and Twilight took out quickly. As soon as the shield went down, Twilight immediately took out the fourth engine.
"Now come on you two!" Qwark begged. "Don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?"
"You and Drek need to be stopped," Ratchet replied calmly. "That's all we're doing here."
As the ship took more and more damage, Qwark tried to plead one last time with Twilight. "Twilight, please...I...I never meant to hurt you."
"I believe you," Twilight replied over the comms. "...that's why what you did hurt so much." With that, she fired the last missile, making the ship crash to the planet below. Neither Ratchet nor Twilight spotted the escape pod launching free before the crash.
Coming back in for a landing on the base, Ratchet immediately noticed Twilight staggering about. "You okay?" he asked, rushing to her side.
"Just a little dizzy," she muttered, her horn sparking faintly. "Think...think I'll need to rest a few hours...overdid it controlling that fighter..."
"I believe we have found our new ship," Clank pointed out, gesturing to a much more advanced model ship than what they'd been using, much more streamlined with a more powerful engine.
An infobot came out of the ship, sharing with them the situation on the Planet Oltanis below.
"Twilight, you'll rest in the ship while Clank and I explore Oltanis, see what we can do and what we can find in terms of clues to Drek's location," Ratchet instructed. "With luck, you'll be fully recovered by the time we get back...but no tinkering in the meantime."
"Alright," Twilight agreed, slumping into the back seat of the new ship.
Clank, for his part, left the promised IOU.
IOU one hyper advanced starship, to be paid by saving the galaxy.
As they landed, the heavy electromagnetic storm proved dangerous for Clank, so he stayed in the ship with Twilight as Ratchet explored the surface. Clank sat next to Twilight as she continued to sway back and forth dizzily. "Are you alright, Twilight?"
"I...I think so," she murmured. "Just a little dizzy..." Her horn sparked again. "I think I may have pushed my magic too hard controlling all the systems in the fighter like that..."
"Then you won't do that again," Clank chided. "I do not believe we actually needed two ships in that battle."
"You said...facing Qwark would get me closure," Twilight explained. "When you told Daddy...he needed to be my hero now..."
Clank was shocked. "You heard that?"
Twilight nodded. "Vaguely..." She laid her head between her hooves. "Clank...do you know any stories?"
Clank thought for a time. "Hmm..." A file suddenly popped into his memory. "I believe I do know one story," he commented. "It is called...Daring Do and the Sapphire Stone..."
As Clank began to recite the story, the Zoni who had implanted it in his mind at Orvus' instructions vanished with a quiet, "Wee!"
While Ratchet's journey through the ruins of Oltanis was difficult on his own, it was rather uneventful, save for one particular encounter at a poorly constructed Gadgetron stand. "Captain Qwark?" he asked in shock.
"Where?" Qwark demanded in surprise, looking around.
Ratchet rolled his eyes. "Qwark, I know it's you. Now where's Drek?"
Qwark glanced back at his clipboard, searching for something.
Ratchet sighed. "You aren't going to say anything unless I buy something, are you?"
"You can buy this Gadgetron PDA-"
"How much?" Ratchet interrupted.
"Umm...1000 bolts," Qwark murmured.
"Here," Ratchet replied, handing over the bolts.
"Thank you and have a Qwarktastic day!" Qwark proclaimed.
"What'd you say?" Ratchet asked absently as he examined the Personal Delivery Assistant.
"Nothing," Qwark murmured.
Ratchet turned to glower at Qwark. "So if you aren't Captain Qwark, who are you?"
"I'm Steve," Qwark replied. "...McQwark."
Ratchet shook his head. As much as he wanted to just move on, there was still so much anger inside him just now over what Qwark had done to him and Twilight. He decided now was as good a time as any to vent some of it. Maybe he'd get closure, too. "Well, Steve, can I tell you something about Captain Qwark?"
"Uh...sure," he replied.
"He was a real asshole to my daughter, built up her trust and then stabbed her in the back in the worst way I could imagine...but you know what part of it makes me the angriest?" Ratchet didn't wait for a reply before continuing. "How stupid he was in going about it! He said he had to because it was his job to deal with threats to Drek's project, but there's more ways to eliminate threats than by eliminating them!"
"Then how should I - I mean, he - have handled it?" 'Steve' asked.
"Back on Umbris, the only one of us who was truly dedicated to stopping Drek was Clank. Twilight was excited about the idea of being a hero alongside her idol, and I was just there to take care of Twilight!" Ratchet slammed his hand into the stand. "He could have just dropped Clank when he was alone on that 'circle of heroes', and claimed it had judged him unfit to be a hero! Twilight would have had three possible technobabble explanations for how the circle might have done that before Qwark or I would have been able to get a word in edgewise, and convinced herself that Clank was the bad guy, which meant Drek was somehow the good guy!"
"Would she have really done that?" 'Steve' asked, surprised.
"As brilliant as she is, she's still just an obsessive, idealistic six year old," Ratchet pointed out. "Qwark could have easily just included Twilight and I in whatever deal he has going with Drek. Seriously, I'm 16, Twilight's six, we're both orphans...a sudden super hero family probably would have brought in even better press than a lone superhero. Twilight probably would have jumped at the chance to be 'Private Qwark', and I'd have gone along with it. At that point, I didn't care about the fate of the galaxy...just her."
"You...you really think that would have worked?" Qwark asked, his voice thick with emotion.
"Not anymore," Ratchet snarled. "He's burned his bridges with us..." His voice trailed off, seeing the naked agony on 'Steve's face. "Look, just...nevermind." Turning, he headed back to his explorations.
Qwark remained where he was, emotions and Ratchet's words swirling through his mind. His eyes fell on the required recorder on all Gadgetron stands, 'to improve customer service experiences'. Reaching out, he hit the playback, focusing on a few key phrases.
"-I didn't care about the fate of the galaxy-"
"-she's just an obsessive, idealistic six year old-"
"-a sudden super hero family probably would have-"
"-super hero family-"
"-family-"
Sunk deep in his depression, Qwark suddenly grinned. He'd just had an idea...a wonderfully, horribly, awful idea...
Ratchet swung back into the ship. he found Twilight dozed off next to Clank. "She okay?" he asked, concerned.
"Just resting," Clank informed him. "I told her a story. What did you find?"
"Well, I got a Gadgetron Personal Delivery Assistant for rearming when we're away from a shop unit," he started. "I also got this Morph-O-Ray. It turns enemies into chickens."
"I believe Twilight will like that," Clank observed.
"Like it? I bet 500 bolts she's made a spell to mimic it before we catch up with Drek!" Ratchet proclaimed.
"I will take that bet," Clank agreed.
"I also got an infobot with coordinates to Planet Quartu," Ratchet continued. "Drek's apparently making some sort of super robot weapon there."
"Then we must investigate!" Clank urged.
"Punch in the coordinates, then," Ratchet instructed, handing over the infobot.
As the trio came in for a landing on planet Quartu, Twilight began asking questions. "So, what exactly are we doing here?"
"Apparently, Drek's producing some sort of Ultra-Mech weapon here," Ratchet explained. "We're here to look into it. We don't want Drek getting any more super weapons."
"Alternatively, we can acquire an upgrade for me to utilize in combat to counteract such measures," Clank added.
"Or get an Ultra-mech for you to ride, Twilight," Ratchet finished.
"I'd rather get a hold of one of those Ultra-mechs to tinker with," Twilight admitted. "They look like they could be fun."
"We'll see about that," Ratchet cautioned. "I'd rather you ease off on the tinkering until we find out why you've been suffering so much mental fatigue recently. You never used to."
"Daddy, it's just the new features of the modified pilot's helmet!" she complained. "It uses a neural interface which applies my thought patterns directly to the magical field. I just need to tweak the dampeners a bit to ease the strain of transition and I'll be fine!"
"Still, until you do..." Ratchet warned. "I just don't want to see you collapsing like that, Twilight. I worry."
"I know, Daddy," Twilight replied softly, nuzzling him. "I'll be careful." With that said, she turned and hurried along the path.
"You are a good father, Ratchet," Clank commented idly.
"I try my best," Ratchet replied. "But I'm only 16. I keep thinking I'm going to make a terrible mistake and screw something up for her entire life."
"You have adjusted well to the role," Clank pointed out. "And that is a worry all fathers share, or so I understand."
"That doesn't exactly make me feel better," Ratchet grumbled as he started down the path after Twilight.
"It should," Clank pointed out. "It means you are doing no better and no worse than any other father, and you started out with many disadvantages few fathers would ever face."
"Oh yeah?" Ratchet demanded as he smashed a robot Twilight missed with his Omniwrench. "Like what?"
"You were - and still are - much younger than most when they begin parenthood," Clank began. "From the scarcity of your kind in this galaxy, I can conclude you did not exactly have a normal childhood yourself." When Ratchet didn't respond, Clank continued. "Not only that, Twilight is a completely different species from you, and one never seen before in this galaxy. After all that, the fact that you are even 'on par' with most fathers can be seen as a rousing success. Not only that, but you put consideration for her ahead of your own personal desires. Few fathers can claim that with any degree of honesty."
Confused by her outburst, Ratchet raced over to see what had happened. Twilight was surrounded by a pack of what had been small attack robots. However, they appeared to have been transformed into oranges with white feathered wings and yellow feet, walking around and banging their fruit bodies against the ground. One of them opened a wedge shaped mouth and let out a "Buk-KAK!"
"I was certain I had the spell form right this time!" Twilight whimpered. "I just don't know what went wrong."
"Exhibit D regarding your unusual hurdles of parenthood," Clank muttered dryly.
Ratchet quickly came up to Twilight. "Don't worry about it, Twi," he said softly. "You didn't originally design this weapon, so it's a completely new form of energy manipulation to you. It's to be expected you'll have a few hiccups, especially since you don't have anyone to ask how your magic works and have to figure it out for yourself. Just keep working at it. You'll get it eventually."
"In the meantime," Clank added, "this could be considered even better. The transformation result is even more unexpected, and a much bigger distraction to enemies."
"...Really?" Twilight asked, perking up.
"Yeah!" Ratchet hastened to reassure her. "It's a feature, not a bug!"
Twilight thought about that. "Well...alright. I'll keep track of this spell formula, even as I try to perfect the chicken transformation. Maybe I just need more exposure..." Pulling the Morph-o-Ray from Ratchet's arsenal, she ran off to run more tests.
Ratchet stood back, watching Twilight rush off. Eventually, he spoke up. "So Clank, about our wager..."
"I will admit defeat, but you can only claim victory if she perfects the spell before we fight Drek," Clank explained. "Otherwise, we'll call it a draw."
"Fair enough," Ratchet agreed, rushing after Twilight.
Ahead, Twilight could be seen handling Tesla soldiers, robots similar to the Thunder soldiers they'd sometimes encountered on Veldin, but armed with knockoffs of Gadgetron's new Tesla Claw. The Tesla Claw Twilight had recently received for final testing from Gadgetron, however, was the latest production model of the weapon Dr. Splodeya had been working on when Twilight first got her job with Gadgetron. Using the new functions, she caught the lightning being launched at her, used the uplink created to drain the enemy weapons of their ammunition, replenished her Tesla Claw ammo completely, and sent the excess energy back in a discharge which took the shape of a large blast which shot down along the path in a sphere, zapping every enemy that came in range until it faded out.
"Hmm..." Twilight muttered as she stared after the burst of electrical energy. Pulling out her tablet, she began recording specs for two new styles of Tesla weapons, one that would launch a sphere like she had just witnessed, the other for an energy barrier that would shoot lightning at any hostile that got too close. Those notes taken, she walked with Ratchet the rest of the way down the now cleared path.
Coming up to a scientist, Twilight decided to approach first. "Excuse me," she said politely, "we're looking for information about the Ultra-mech project?"
"Oh, that would be this," the bearded scientist replied gruffly. "Let's see...was it pi over infinity, or..."
"Need help fixing it?" Ratchet asked.
"Actually, I'm trying to destroy it," he replied. "I didn't know Drek was behind it when I was contracted to use my enlarging machine to make huge, heavily armed mechs! I want nothing more to do with it! But I can't leave the design where Drek can make use of it."
"Why not tweak it so it will only work with a specific robot design?" Twilight offered. "Drek and his scientists don't have the technical know how to reverse engineer it, and you can always blame their incompetence when it doesn't work for them anymore."
"Hmm...an interesting idea," the scientist admitted. "But what robot should I key it to that Drek won't be able to take control of or mass produce?"
Smiling, Twilight gestured to Clank.
"Me?" Clank asked, shocked.
"Hmm...with your design, I could probably even tweak my enlarging machines to let you reduce back to normal size as well," the scientist mused. "You seem to have similar technology built in...and you're a custom jobbie, not easily copied for mass production."
"Then you can do it?" Twilight asked.
"As sure as my name is Beige Maximum!" the scientist proclaimed. "But you can call me Big Max. All me friends do." Turning, he tweaked the machine. "Hop right on, lil' fella! You can keep the other mechs busy until the modifications are complete!"
Nervously, Clank stepped up onto the platform.
"That...was...awesome!" Twilight squealed after Clank was reduced back to normal size. "Oh, I hope I get to see you fight like that again! I wonder if I could manufacture a modular model that you could equip into your circuitry to expand and shrink back down like that at will!"
"Don'tcha think that might be aiming just a wee high?" Big Max cautioned Twilight.
"No," Ratchet said bluntly.
"Not in Twilight's case," Clank added.
"Hrmm..." Big Max mused. "Well, I must thank you for your help here. Perhaps this will be useful to you?" He pulled out an infobot, handing it over. "And distract the little filly from creating an accidental Armageddon..." he muttered under his breath as he walked away.
The infobot contained an advertisement for a gadget called the Hologuise, and coordinates for Kalebo III, where Gadgetron HQ was. "If we had that, we could sneak past those robot guards in that facility we passed by earlier," Ratchet pointed out.
"Robots are not so easily fooled," Clank complained.
"Actually, this model of Hologuise utilizes a special electrical signal transmitted on the visual spectrum when active," Twilight explained rapidly. "Robotic or cybernetic optics interpret that signal as a robotic image, causing the positronic brain to see an image of an echo of itself when looking at the subject. The cartoonish visual image on the ad is deliberate so that the guise will only fool robots, and not organic life forms." Seeing Ratchet and Clank staring at her, she flushed. "I helped design the basic format. The same signal can be tweaked to effect specific formulations of optic nerves so as to fool either other kinds of cybernetics or a specific form of organic life."
"Impressive!" Ratchet praised. "Think you could get us a freebie?"
"I can try," Twilight offered.
"In that case, let's get to Kalebo III," Ratchet directed.
Arriving at Gadgetron HQ, the trio discovered the place under attack from Blargian elite shock troops. At least, Ratchet assumed that was the reason for the different costumes. Twilight had sent in several designs of her own making for Gadgetron HQ's use which were proving to be incredibly effective. Luckily, Ratchet and Twilight were both registered employees of Gadgetron, so those same defense systems didn't target them. Clank was also ignored as he was with them.
"Guess we don't have to do any fighting this time," Ratchet mused as he watched the defense systems obliterate the invading Blarg forces with anything from focused attacks to overwhelming destructive force.
"Yeah, the defense systems here are state of the art," Twilight explained. She pulled out a sheaf of blueprints. "Look, I need to go talk with the CEO about a few of my new designs, and that Hologuise. I know the way, so I shouldn't be too long."
"You don't mind if I explore where those grind rails lead to, do you?" Ratchet asked.
"Not at all. Have fun, Daddy!" With that, Twilight gave Ratchet a kiss on the cheek before they went their separate ways.
Twilight smiled as she stepped off the employee elevator and into the CEO's office. Her grin widened as her elderly, bespectacled, green skinned employer came into view. "Mr. Fixxit!" she greeted happily.
The CEO grinned widely as he turned to face her.
"Twilight," he chided, "how many times do I have to tell you to call me Eiken?"
Twilight giggled. "I thought I should be more formal for our first face to face meeting, sir."
Eiken waved his hand dismissively. "Formalities are for factory workers, investors, and customers...not my number one R&D specialist, and certainly not for a friend!" He playfully tickled her under her chin. "So what brings you all the way here from Veldin?"
"Saving the galaxy, filing new patents, picking up some new gadgets, blowing things up..." Twilight shrugged her shoulders, fluttering her wings playfully. "You know, the usual."
Eiken laughed. "Young people these days," he joked. "Still, you seem to be sporting some new gear of your own." He looked over the armor she'd made for herself. "Very impressive. Stylish, intimidating, and dare I hope functional?"
Grinning widely, Twilight began explaining all the new technical functions of her new gear, as well as the new devices she'd constructed for herself and Ratchet, which naturally expanded into explanations of the new blueprints she'd brought to file. Eiken followed the explanations, asking pertinent questions, and taking notes about the technical details, focusing on those areas Twilight normally didn't pay attention to: potential misuse, public image, and the cost/benefit analysis.
When she introduced the depolluter mech blueprints, however, Eiken's focus was all the more intense. "Reports about that have already made it back here, and we already have nearly 200 back orders for that unit, especially if you can make an aerial model. I see that possibility has been marked here..."
"About those..." Twilight interrupted. "This...this blueprint will only be available to Gadgetron if I have it in writing that they'll be sold to the planets in need at cost."
Eiken looked at her for a time. "This isn't just some 'green cause' movement, is it?"
Twilight shook her head. "No...it just...feels like something I need to insist on."
"Another of your magical impulses?"
Twilight nodded. When she first started making devices for Gadgetron, every so often she would feel something inside her - something she assumed came from her magic - compelling her to make a unilateral decision regarding something she'd made. The fuss she'd made the first time she'd experienced such an impulse had been what led to her first interacting with Eiken Fixxit, as the decision regarding her contract in that regard had gone straight to the top.
As always when he encountered such an issue that logic didn't explain, Eiken reached into his desk and stroked the gilded mallet, a lucky charm he'd gotten from an old friend of his, a distant cousin who worked as a Plumber, but actually worked in so many disciplines Eiken had nicknamed him Mario. The man seemed ageless, and always seemed to have unexpected answers to perilous questions. Handling this gift from him helped Eiken work through illogical problems.
"Alright," he said at last, "here's what we will do. We will sell the units at cost, but the exact definition of 'at cost' will vary depending on where it's being crafted for installation in, and we'll also arrange a suitable maintenance subscription at a fixed rate as far as keeping the devices running. Is that acceptable?"
Twilight thought about it for a time, then nodded. "It is," she replied. "I just...don't want the civilians on these planets to go bankrupt from pork barreling on this."
"Understandable," Eiken agreed. "Most planetary governments get on my nerves too. So inefficient." Leaning back, he smiled. "Say, I hear you're pretty good on a hover board."
Twilight grinned widely. "I did win the Blackwater City championship race!" she crowed happily.
"Let's see how you do against my test bots on the new line, hmm?" he offered. "If you do well, maybe you can be in a commercial for them."
Twilight clapped happily at the idea. "Let's get started!"
Eiken could only stare in amazement as Twilight shredded the course even more intensely than she had the one in Blackwater City. The advantages she had back there were even more apparent this time around, as though her armor amplified her speed and maneuverability. Of course, when she'd gone into a triple spin off a ramp and shredded through the second place test bot as she lapped it for the second time, he knew that she was truly unmatched.
"Well done!" he praised her. "Now, let's see how you do on the air!" He gestured to the cameras.
Twilight gulped, still balancing on her board. "Hey everyone! Twilight Sparkle here. I just got finished racing a course against the XZ88 hover boards, the newest model from Gadgetron, and I have never seen such acceleration in such a small unit! Admittedly, they couldn't keep up with me, but then my small size and aerodynamics does give me a bit of an unfair advantage in speeding along...not to say the boards are bad! Not at all! The booster units enable all sorts of tricks, though they don't match up to what I've been able to pull with my wings...not that you all can't do just as good!" Blushing brightly, she hid behind one of the new model hover boards. Peeking out, she said, "Umm...buy our boards?"
Eiken chuckled. "Well, we'll see how that goes. Anything else you need?"
"We could use a couple of Hologuise units!" she pointed out.
Smiling, he handed two over. "Have fun with those. I'd like a report on how well they work if you don't mind."
"Not at all!" With that, Twilight ran out of the office happily to meet up with Ratchet and Clank back at the ship.
Sitting back in his chair, Eiken looked over what the focus groups had to say about the latest ad for the hoverboards.
"Aww...that little filly was so cute! I'm gonna get one of those boards right now!" "Dude, did you see that awesome armor she had? Think those boards will make me look as badass?" "Give me 20!"
"Hmm...note to self: get Twilight to do more advertisements," Eiken muttered, noting it down.
The Hologuises proved most effective for Ratchet and Twilight, and they were able to easily infiltrate the robotics factory back on Quartu. Once at the center, Ratchet and Twilight repaired the mother computer to get some information out of it. As it reactivated, Twilight had a few moments to wonder why Clank had been so quiet the entire time they were passing through the factory.
A message appeared on the screen.
Son
"Mom?" Clank asked in surprise.
Ratchet and Twilight watched silently, though Twilight instinctively moved closer to Ratchet, nuzzling into him. He stroked her mane comfortingly.
You have done well
"I...tried, Mom," Clank replied, wiping one optic.
There is still more to do
"I know."
An infobot came out the conveyor belt, and displayed its message. Twilight and Ratchet gasped in shock when they saw Drek intended to blow up their home planet to make room for his synthetic one. "How dare he!" Twilight demanded angrily.
"We won't let him," Ratchet growled.
"Affirmative," Clank agreed.
Ratchet and Twilight headed back towards the ship, ready to head for Drek's fleet. A beep from the computer captured Clank's attention before he left, however.
Take care of Twilight
Clank nodded. "I will do my best," he promised. "I will make you proud, Mom."
As he left, he missed the last message to appear on the screen.
Flying into the launch bay of the last ship in Drek's fleet, the trio's ship set down on the landing pad so they could disembark. "So where do we go from here?" Twilight asked.
"Now we must traverse from teleporter to teleporter," Clank explained, "going from one ship to the next until we reach the flagship so we can confront Drek directly."
"And...the reason we couldn't blow up the cockpit of the flagship from space to take him out?" Twilight pointed out.
"For one thing, our ship doesn't have any weapons," Ratchet pointed out.
Twilight drew forth her RYNO. "Strap me to the nose cone," she offered.
"For another, the fleet has a large amount of defensive weaponry," Clank countered, "and our ship has no weapons shielding. This was the only ship we could get on board without being shot out of the sky."
"I see," Twilight sighed. "It's just...I just want to go home and rest...get all this out of my system..." She shook her head. "At least tell me this doesn't have to be a stealth mission?"
"Nope!" Ratchet replied, pulling out his Devastator. "Blast everything that moves and force the locks."
"Sweet!" Twilight crowed, gripping her Omniwrench in her magic.
Clank shook his head. "Are you certain you two are heroes?"
Twilight giggled. "Action heroes, maybe!" She rushed to the teleporter.
The first ship passed easily. Two robots - one that needed to be fooled with the hologuises - and a room full of robodogs were easily dealt with. Twilight attempted her transformation spell on the robodogs, but they still became orange-chicken hybrids. Ratchet rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he stared at them. "What?" Twilight asked.
"Just wondering if they'd taste like orange chicken," he joked, earning a punch on the knee.
In the next ship, they passed the first room by having Twilight seal the side chambers so the robots couldn't get out to trigger the alarms. The second chamber was dealt with in the same way. Using the hologuise, they tricked the robot in the third chamber to lower the force field. After wrecking that robot, they went through the teleporter.
In the third ship, Twilight used her Swingshot to clear the gap first, as she could use her telekinesis to fire at the robot dogs on the other side mid flight. One RYNO volley cleared the next chamber. The hologuise got them through the forcefield to the next chamber, where they took the teleporter onward.
Once on the flagship, they had to go outside to get around a force field. Walking around the underside of the ship, Twilight projected a mobile magic wall as she had back on Kerwan to block the weapons fire of the other ships that came close to them. However, the weapons fire was stronger than she had expected, and the first shot broke the barrier into pieces. Dizzy from the feedback, she started to drift away from the ship as her gravity spell faded. Ratchet grabbed her and took her to another platform that led him into a hanger bay.
"Stay here and rest up," Ratchet instructed. "I'll handle the turrets." Taking the fighter jet inside, he flew out to do just that. By the time he returned, Twilight had regained her focus, but decided to husband her magical reserves for the actual conflict with Drek by clinging to Ratchet's back for the rest of their EVA.
Once back inside, Twilight dropped from Ratchet's back and fought her way through some robodogs to clear the path for him when he returned to normal vertical alignment. Entering the control center of the flagship, they began to stalk towards the Captain's chair. However, as they approached, an infobot came out from behind the chair, giving them the information that Drek was on Veldin, getting ready to press the button to blow up the planet.
"Not on my watch!" Twilight said firmly, and the group returned quickly to their ship.
Once on Veldin, the trio made their way to where the planet destroying laser was based. Along the way, they encountered Horned Toads, Blarg Elite troops, missile ships, and the occasional tank. All were dealt with quite easily with their combined arsenal.
When they reached an Invinco-lock, Twilight took the time to catch her breath while Ratchet hacked the lock. "Why couldn't we land closer?"
"There was not a safe landing pad closer," Clank explained.
"Besides, we don't know exactly where the laser is," Ratchet added.
"And it probably has defenses so landing on it would be a bad idea?" Twilight posited.
"Precisely," Clank agreed as the lock clicked open and the gate turned off.
Sighing, Twilight launched a fireball that cleared many of the hostiles before them. "Let's get going then."
They managed to make their way through the rest of the way with little trouble. The only major obstacle came when the only way forward was diving through a pool after filling it. Twilight grumbled, but eventually telekinetically anchored herself to Ratchet's tail and allowed herself to be dragged behind by the strength of Clank's Hydro-Pack. Once through, Twilight was soaking wet, dripping, and looked absolutely miserable as water weighed her wings against her sides.
"Not. One. Word," she scolded as Clank stepped onto an expansion platform.
"My lips are sealed," Ratchet promised.
"I do not possess lips," Clank pointed out as he expanded into immensity, carving a new path through.
Reaching a massive central platform, they saw Drek descend in a massive battle mech. "What the?" Ratchet asked in shock.
Drek laughed wickedly. "Imbeciles!" he crowed. "After all the trouble you've gone through, you're about to die right where you-"
"Shut up!" Twilight shouted. "Because of you, I've spent the last three weeks shuttling from planet to planet trying to save the galaxy! I've had my childish illusions shattered, been left for dead, and seen the worst the galaxy has to offer! And now I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm cranky, and I can't even perfect a simple transformation spell!" Her horn glowed as she ranted. "And on top of that, you've wrecked who knows how many planets through sheer stupidity! Whatever your reason for trying to build a new planet, buying a barren one and terraforming it to perfection would have taken under a week and cost a twentieth what you have to have paid to do all this, not to mention what you did to Pokitaru! And now you're giving me a headache! So you! Do not! Get! To talk!"
On her last shout, a blast of magical energy lanced from her horn and punched through the cockpit of the enemy mech, which promptly collapsed. After a time, a single sound was heard from within.
"Buk-KAK!"
A perfectly formed chicken wearing Drek's business suit hopped out of the cockpit, glaring at Twilight and looking a cross between mightily offended and enraged.
Twilight grinned widely. "I did it!" she crowed happily. "I perfected the chicken spell! Thank goodness my helmet automatically records the formula for these accidental magical discharges. Now I can see what I did right this time!"
Ratchet stared. "So...does this count as before fighting Drek?"
"She still needs to analyze the results, so no," Clank countered.
Ratchet snapped his fingers. "Darn."
"Besides, I do not even have 500 bolts on me to give you, so you should accept the draw," Clank pointed out.
"Alright," Ratchet relented. "So what are we going to do about the artificial planet? We probably can't leave it where it is."
"We shall investigate the laser and see what can be done," Clank suggested, heading for the laser platform, not noticing when his massive feet reduced the Drekken to a bloody smear.
At the laser platform, Twilight popped open an access panel on the laser unit and began analyzing the tech as best she could. "So what's the plan for all this, Clank?"
"I had thought we could use the planet destroying laser to destroy the artificially created planet so as to restore gravity stability to the solar system and end the threat of the Blarg armada," Clank suggested, gripping the side of the platform as he stood on the ground below, still gigantic.
"An interesting idea," Twilight murmured. "Shame about the planets damaged to make it, though. Most of them haven't begun completely destabilizing yet. If they could be restored, they could be saved at this point."
"Well, it's not like you can hotwire the laser to supercharge your teleportation spell to send each chunk back to the planet it came from, right?" Ratchet offered jokingly.
Twilight frowned. "Actually...that's not a bad idea!"
"It's not?" Ratchet said in shock.
"Any object has a certain intrinsic memory of the shape its supposed to be once it's been shaped," Twilight explained. "That's the basis of the reconstrunction spell I use to fix things in our home when they shatter. If I incorporated that spell into the laser fire, each chunk of the planet would seek the planet it was from originally to merge with it again. Combined with the teleportation spell, each chunk would teleport to the right planet to begin the reconstruction process! It'd be like the planets were never damaged!"
"If perchance you know a spell to create gyroscopic stability," Clank offered, "would that not combine with those spells to make any planet that has shifted from its original orbit and rotation return to its original courses?"
"It would, but I've never perfected such a spell," Twilight groaned.
"Perhaps you could use the gyroscopic stabilizer my gigantic form utilizes as a basis?"
"That could work!" Twilight said happily. "You just need to flip this laser around the other way, then I need to hook you up to it from underneath so I can super boost the power of the laser for this!"
Ratchet blinked. "Anything I can do to help?" he asked.
"Yes," Twilight replied. "After we fire the laser, Clank and I are probably going to drop like rocks, since the massive energy drain will force him to revert to normal size. Can you get down below and set up a bounce pad for us to land on safely?"
"Sure thing!" Ratchet said eagerly, repelling to the ground below from a nearby Swingshot target.
The firing went off without a hitch, save the force of the blast broke the laser down, causing it to explode, blasting them downward onto the bounce pad Ratchet had prepared. Looking upward, they saw the planet chunks vanishing in teleportation wakes.
"I guess we can only hope that worked right," Twilight muttered.
"We'll likely find out on the news tomorrow," Ratchet pointed out.
"Yeah," Twilight replied, yawning.
"Come on," Ratchet told her. "Let's go home." Scooping her up, he turned to head for their house. "You coming Clank?"
Smiling, Clank trotted along beside them.
Late that night, Clank was disturbed from his sleep mode as he heard Twilight fussing in her bed. Standing, he approached her. "What's wrong, Twilight?"
Twilight stilled. "Can't sleep without my plushy," she muttered.
"Where is it?" Clank asked.
"Over there," she said, pointing.
Turning Clank spotted the Captain Qwark plushy. "I see..."
"I can't just cuddle up to him like nothing's changed," she murmured. "But...I can't sleep without something to cuddle."
"Hmm..." After a time of thought, Clank opened his storage compartment and began working on something. After a time, he hopped into Twilight's bed.
"Clank?" Twilight asked, reaching out. Her hoof touched something warm and fluffy.
"Baa!" Clank said, synthesizing a childish sheep sound. He had used the mini-yeti fur from Hoven to make a sheep suit for himself, so that he resembled a sheep plushy when his limbs were pulled in.
Blinking, Twilight pushed her hoof against the fur and found it quite soft, thick, and fluffy, much like wool. Smiling, she pulled him in, and found him quite comfy to cuddle this way. "Thank you, Clank," she whispered happily.
It had been two months since Drek's defeat, and the restoration of the damaged planets, which went off without a hitch. Between that and Gadgetron releasing the anti-pollution air and sea mechas - dubbed the Sparklers by the marketing department - Veldin had actually been declared off limits to tourism just so Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight could have some peace and quiet. While Ratchet and Twilight had both wanted to live quiet, peaceful lives after defeating Drek - at least for a while - both forgot that Drek was broadcasting the destruction of Veldin live...and as a result, their work defeating Drek and restoring dozens of planets across the galaxy was also broadcast live across Solana galaxy. As a result, they were literally the big name in news for a full month afterward.
Eiken had suggested that actually making a few public appearances - and the occasional TV interview - would go a long way towards giving them the peace and quiet they desired. They had thus attended several parades, feasts, festivals, and conventions held in their honor. Twilight had only particularly enjoyed the conventions, as she got to meet and talk with adults who could actually understand some of the technical concepts she brought up. No interviews had been held yet, as Twilight had become painfully aware how things she said casually could affect things due to her sudden celebrity. 12 planets were now vegetarian due to her saying she didn't eat meat, and 20 more had gone vegan as a result of her unease at the sight of a whole cooked lamb, both at the same feast held in the heroes' honor.
Finally, much to all their reliefs, the furor had started to die down and they were able to relax again. Twilight had immediately gone to tinker with all the new toys they'd brought back from out in the galaxy. Ratchet had gone to design something he had in mind that he refused to talk about, and Clank settled for romancing the one female robot who had managed to evade the "no tourism" ban on Veldin.
One morning, however, Twilight had quite a few surprises for Ratchet and Clank regarding her tinkering.
"Wow," Ratchet said as he stared at the result. "That's...impressive."
"Isn't it though?" Twilight asked excitedly, looking up at her creation.
The device itself was rather simple, being a simple sphere of metal image projectors. However, when combined with the signal from a Pilot's Helmet and the included database and high end processor, it expanded outward to generate a complete holographic display of anything the user could think of, complete with a full 360 degree view of the generated image, which could be interacted with physically, by thought command, or by voice or text based commands.(1)
Presently, it was displaying some tweaks to Twilight's armor design, as she was trying to figure out how to expand it for more impact reduction without reducing maneuverability.
"This thing is amazing!" Ratchet praised, looking at the device. "With this, anyone could do what you do when you cause a device to expose all its component parts, or at least a simulation of it!"
"Except without the massive strain you experience when you do so," Clank pointed out.
"That's what I was thinking of when I made it," Twilight explained. "I wanted to be able to experiment like that without massive mental fatigue, so I figured a simulation would take much less energy than the actual thing, especially with the processor taking most of the strain of the computations. I made one for you, too, Daddy!" Smiling, Twilight levitated another simulator over in its compact form; a simple metal sphere on top of a simple metal box.
"Sweet!" Ratchet said happily, taking it into his hands, holding it carefully.
"Can it project things other than technical designs?" Clank asked curiously.
"It can project anything you can imagine," Twilight explained. "But what else would you use it for?"
"Depending on the individual, there are any number of unsavory things the capacity to generate any image you can imagine could be turned to," Clank explained.
"About 90% of it would probably be porn, though, given the statistical nature of people," Ratchet pointed out.
Twilight blinked. "...huh. It's a good thing I never planned to put this design on the market." Twilight shivered a bit. "Well, that's not all I have to show you! Check these out!" Turning, she posed, showing off her new footwear.
"Magnegrindboots!"(2) Twilight proclaimed happily. "After studying your magnet boots and grind boots, I was able to combine their functionality in a single set of foot wear, and use the spare set to make ones for me!" She levitated the new boots over to Ratchet. "Not only that, but the new design will actually allow you to leap off of a surface they're magnetized to without losing your orientation, as long as you maintain a straight line between the bottom of the boots and the surface they're locked onto, so you can jump over obstacles while walking up a magnetized wall!"
"That's incredible!" Ratchet said happily. "What next? Redesign the Swingshot so it can lock onto another Swingshot so you can pull yourself up somewhere after me?"
Twilight shook her head. "That won't work as long as the Swingshot uses a physical cable and hook," she countered. "However, I hear the next model will be using an energy cable! It's still in the very early stages of development, but when it comes out I'll see if I can manage that!"
"Why do you keep making those joking suggestions?" Clank asked Ratchet. "You know she always takes them seriously."
"That's why I wasn't joking this time," Ratchet replied. "Do you have any notion how many of the obstacles we faced pursuing Drek would have been easier for Twilight to clear if she could lock onto my Swingshot and drag herself after me? And vice versa?"
Clank raised a hand, and froze. "I had not thought about that," he admitted. He turned to Twilight. "And how goes converting the RYNO to energy based ammunition?"
"Already completed in theory," Twilight replied eagerly, calling up the design in question on her simulator. "I've already sent the design to Mr. Fixxit so he can see how to produce it cost effectively." She frowned. "He flat out vetoed the energy collector for rearmament on commercial models, though. Apparently, that makes it too dangerous to sell, as the one thing holding someone back from marching into a world with a RYNO model and obliterating everything is the cost of the weapon and its ammunition. If ammunition is suddenly free..."
"I see your point," Clank admitted. "Speaking of, how goes the magical formula? Have you worked out the magic stepladder yet?"
Grinning widely, Twilight called up the formula in question, and the two began discussing the various points of magical theorem and practice. Ratchet, meanwhile, took his simulator elsewhere to work on a project of his own.
Much later, when Twilight had gone into town to pick up some food for that night's dinner, Clank wandered around to find what Ratchet was up to. He found the Lombax a good ways behind their home, entirely focused on his simulator. The image of a suit in his dimensions with wings attached to the underside of the arms was visible. "Highly inefficient," Clank pointed out.
"Waagh!" Ratchet yelped, flailing as he desperately clung to the visualization. "Geeze, Clank! Can't you...I don't know, clank when you walk? I nearly lost the design!"
"The simulator auto saves whatever visualization you were working on in the event of a distraction," Clank pointed out. "As I was saying, that design for a flight suit would at best allow you to glide. It would not provide enough lift to get one of your mass airborne."
"That's where the suit comes in," Ratchet explained. "Micro-gravity generators sewn into the lining throughout the entire thing. When activated, it reduces my gravimetric profile, to the point that - as far as aerodynamics is concerned - I weigh much less than I actually do."
"Greatly reducing the amount of lift you need to generate to get airborne," Clank concluded. "But the amount of energy that would require would mean that you could not wield any weaponry while the suit is active, and you would have to hold perfectly still to maintain the balance of the field."
"Yeah, that latter part is causing problems with the wings," Ratchet muttered. "But I wasn't designing this for combat, or even for regular use. It's only meant for one thing."
"One thing?" Clank asked, confused. Then his eyes widened in understanding. "May I?" Clank asked, gesturing to the simulator. When Ratchet nodded, Clank plugged himself in. In the image, the wings separated from the suit, and extra details were added, slowly expanding. "I believe it would be a good idea to invite Al to install these in me," Clank suggested. "While the problems of energy use and stability will still be present, but I believe this will solve all other problems. Besides, I understand that various companies are currently working on creating other methods of personal flight that utilize energy platforms to charge functionality(3). Perhaps we can design the suit to tap into those for replenishing and activating this function."
Ratchet grinned as the two worked on the design further. "Not a bad idea, Clank. Not a bad idea."
Two weeks later, Al arrived on planet, surprising Twilight. "Al! What brings you here?"
"It's a surprise," Al said with a wide grin. "Ratchet, I brought everything I'll need based on the design you sent me. Rather ingenious, if somewhat inefficient, though I see why. And the suit?"
"Already completed," Ratchet replied. "I'll show it off to Twilight while you install the Pack in Clank. Come on, Twilight."
"O-okay," Twilight replied, torn between the pleasures of seeing something new Ratchet had made and seeing more robotics work. In the end, she followed Ratchet.
Ratchet was wearing a pitch black bodysuit with small white circles sewn into the lining in a pattern not unlike motion capture balls on suits used for CGI characters in films in ages past. "Like it?" Ratchet asked. "I call it the negative gravity suit. When active, it reduces my gravitational field in relation to all things around me in order to effectively reduce my effective weight as far as physics is concerned."
"That's incredible!" Twilight gasped out. "Did you make one for me?"
Ratchet chuckled. "You don't need one, Twilight," Ratchet chided gently. "The basis for this suit is what your own magic does when you spread your wings to glide. I even got the idea from reading pages of 'Flight of the Pegasus'."
"Oh," Twilight replied, frowning. She sighed sadly.
Ratchet grinned, knowing what was bugging Twilight. "Is Clank ready yet, Al?" he called out.
"Yup!" Al replied, walking Clank back. "All ready to go!"
Clank took his accustomed place on Ratchet's back. The new Wing Pack expanded, and shiny metal wings spread from his arm slots, matching in proportion to Ratchet's body the exact dimensions of Twilight's wings relative to hers.
Twilight's eyes opened wide as she realized what the purpose of this suit and Pack was. A huge smile crossed her face as tears of joy fell from her eyes.
"Ready to fly, Twilight?" Ratchet asked, going to all fours on the energy platform he'd prepared, charging the micro-gravity generators in the suit.
Twilight nodded. "Yes!" she said happily, matching Ratchet's pose.
Ratchet smiled as the Pilot's Helmet he wore linked him to Clank's circuitry for working the Wing Pack. "What's the first lesson of 'Flight of the Pegasus'?" he quizzed Twilight as they prepared to fly.
"Feel the wind currents with your feathers..." Twilight recited, as the pair prepared to reach for the clouds.
(1)The holodisplay inspired by this comment by Pinklestia. (2) The Magnegrindboots and image are thanks to Tangent, and this comment here. (3) This refers to things such as the Momentum Glider and the Levitator, which can only be activated on specific panels. It's not just Twilight who can come up with new tech that trumps canon availability, after all.
It had taken a while for Eiken Fixxit to find the right show to handle Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight's first big TV interview. He knew a straight news show was right out, as they wouldn't be able to take the time to ensure the comfort of a six year old genius being interviewed for saving the entire galaxy: too many other priorities for a standard news network. A standard press conference would also be a bad idea, as that would open the door to questions that would likely scar poor Twilight. Eiken could already imagine the first reporter for a gossip column asking about the exact nature of Twilight's relationship with Ratchet when they were so close in age, relatively speaking, with Ratchet mid-puberty after all. He didn't want to risk that.
Eventually, though, he found the right talk show host to handle it. She was popular enough to be well known, but not yet popular enough that keeping high ratings drove the material of the show. The exact right balance to coast along on giving the people who watched exactly what they tuned in for, what the show promised: Optimism.
And so it was that the trio appeared on the show, one that would get more ratings on this day than the production team had ever dreamed.
The host of the show smiled at the camera as the show began rolling. She was a Squiggly, a squid like amphibious race with eight tentacle like arms, two tentacle legs ending with club feet, a dome head with two eyes above the mouth, two more on the left and right sides of the dome, and two in back. Her skin was pale blue with dark blue squiggles over her tentacles, and darker blue suckers. Her yellow beak shaped itself around her words. "Welcome to The Bright Side!" she said happily. "I'm your host, Aska Ni Teng, here to give you the news that will bring you hope, not despair. Today we have a very special show in store for all of you.
"As we all know, recently the late Chairman Drek of the Blarg brought great devastation to many planets of the galaxy, trying to create a custom made planet as a crazed money making scheme, manipulating his entire species and many others. As many news agencies have already reported, three new heroes on the scene not only stopped and eliminated Drek, but repaired the devastated planets so that it was as though it had never happened!" As the audience applauded, Aska gestured with one of her tentacles. "And here's the special treat, boys, girls, and others: we have them on our show today for an interview! Please help me give a warm welcome to the heroes of Sollana: Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight Sparkle!"
The applause was thunderous as Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight made their way out from backstage. Clank walked easily, waving to the audience as he approached his small chair, which then extended upward so he was at eye level with those around him. Ratchet was somewhat more nervous, waving shyly as he approached Aska's desk before taking his seat. The applause slowly trailed off, followed by curious murmuring.
"Welcome to the show," Aska said calmly, "but where is Twilight?"
Ratchet sighed. Reaching behind his back, he pulled the lavender filly from where she'd been hiding under his shirt, clinging to Clank's usual spot. "Come on, Twilight, it'll be fine," he reassured her.
The moment Twilight saw so many people staring at her, however, she let out a loud "Meep!" and dove into the third chair, rapidly assembling the pillows - and a few books she yanked telekinetically from Aska's desk - into a make shift fort to hide her. This brought a huge, uncued burst of laughter from the audience.
Aska chuckled indulgently. "Her first time on TV?" she asked reassuringly.
"Yeah," Ratchet said. "She's been nervous since we agreed to come."
"It is the first TV appearance for all of us," Clank added.
Aska whistled appreciatively. "Television virgins, huh?" she teased. She winked flirtatiously. "I promise I'll be gentle."
As Ratchet blushed, Clank chuckled, and the audience laughed, Twilight stuck her head out of her fort, her natural curiosity getting the better of her nerves. "What's a virgin?" she asked eagerly.
Now it was Aska's turn to flush as the audience laughed uproariously. "Whoops! Forgot how young our guests were. I'll try to keep the rest of the show G rated." After another round of clapping, Aska addressed her guests. "So tell us a bit about yourselves."
Ratchet chuckled. "Well there isn't much to tell, really. Most of what we could tell is already public record from those official bios Mr. Fixxit released to the press. I don't think we've really got much to add to those."
Aska smiled. "Well, as those bios are now being displayed on screen for our viewers at home and our live studio audience, perhaps we'll just go straight to one of the major questions we have for you: how does it feel to have saved the galaxy?"
Ratchet chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "A little overwhelming, actually. When we first left Veldin, we were just trying to see the galaxy. Never would have imagined saving it. It's still hard to wrap my mind around it."
"I am quite proud of what we've managed to accomplish for ourselves," Clank replied. "While my initial goal was to gather forces that could stop Drek, I did not imagine that I would be stopping him with my own hands...or foot, as the battle proved." As he laughed at his joke, the audience followed the cue to laugh with him.
"Exhausting!" Twilight added her own answer. "I slept for a week when we finally got back home!" The laughter at this from the audience was far more genuine.
Aska laughed as well. "Now then, in preparation for this interview, we asked our viewers at home what they wanted to ask you three. Let's take a look at a few of those questions now, shall we?" The camera panned to the teleprompter, where questions began to appear. "Let's see what you make of these."
The messages on the teleprompter began to appear.
Dream asks Twilight, does Ratchet know how to preen your wings properly?
Twilight shook her head after reading the question. "Daddy doesn't preen my wings. By the time we realized my wings needed preening, I had enough command of my magic to do it myself." She flushed. "Besides...it makes me feel weird when someone touches my feathers..."
After the laugh, the next questions came up.
Crimson asks Ratchet, how do you feel knowing your daughter is much smarter than you in some ways? Twilight, do you realize that your level of sheer adorableness could cause villains to simply surrender to your will? if so, why haven't you used this power?
Ratchet chuckled. "Humbled and challenged," he answered the question for him.
Twilight blinked, tilting her head as she put her hoof to her chin. "I'm adorable?" she asked, surprised, absently chewing on the tip of a pencil from her nervousness. The audience let out a concerted 'Daw!' that didn't need to be prompted.
Knight asks Twilight, what was the strangest product you ever had to salvage?
Twilight tilted her head in confusion. "I...wouldn't actually classify anything I've scavenged for my inventions as actually being strange. So I don't really know how to answer that question."
Refferee asks Twilight, ever considered domesticating any one of the indigenous species of the planets you have visited as a pet? Or even somewhat modify one to your liking and its benefit? Oh, there's also a rumour that you are weaponized cuteness or are in the process of weaponizing it. Is this true?
Twilight groaned. "Back on Veldin before this all started, I tried to domesticate one of the native horned toads, and one of the Thunder Soldiers some space pirates left behind. It...didn't end well. I'm not trying that again any time soon."
Awesome asks Ratchet, when did you meet Twilight? How has she changed your life? Do these questions apply to Clank as well?
Ratchet chuckled. "Pretty sure most of the info about when we met and all that is in the official bios. As for how she's changed my life..." Reaching over, he scratched Twilight gently behind one ear. "Definitely for the better."
Twilight leaned into the caress, stimulating a chorus of Daws from the audience.
Brony asks 1. Twilight, have you done any more racing since the last race that you won? 2. Rachet, do you have any plans on maybe finding out more about your past? 3. Twilight, what was the funnest project you consider getting to work on? 4. Twilight, just how did you get hired in the first place? Or is that confidential?
As the questions scrolled up the screen, Twilight and Ratchet answered. "Well," Twilight began, "I do hope to do more racing in the future. It's just so fun!"
"My past?" Ratchet asked. "You mean, how I wound up on Veldin? I admit, I'm somewhat curious about that...but just now taking care of Twilight has to be my priority."
Twilight smiled back at him before answering her questions. "The project I had the most fun working on was building my magnegrindboots, since they were the first one I made all on my own just for me. And how I got hired is actually public record. Look it up!"
Cauchemar asks Clank, have you ever tried to analyze Twilights Magic in depth? Ratchet, how long did it take before you figured out Twilight didn't just eat grass like regular horses/ponies? Twilight, Has Ratchet given you the talk?
"I have attempted in depth analysis of Twilight's magic," Clank explained. "However, my own sensors are unable to fully analyze it. I do not believe the technology yet exists to do so...and if anyone will create it, it will be Twilight herself."
Ratchet blinked at his question. "Horses eat grass?" he asked in confusion, startling laughter from everyone.
Ratchet looked nervous at the question about 'the talk', but Twilight rapidly grasped what was meant. "Oh, you mean about romance, sex, and reproduction?" she asked. When Aska nodded, she continued. "I don't really think that's something that needs to be addressed. For one thing, I'm six. I'm still just a little filly, nowhere near sexual maturity for my species, however my species matures. Beyond that, I'm of a race unknown to this galaxy. For all I know, I'm still in the larval stage, and at puberty I'll spin a cocoon of pure magic before ascending into a being of pure energy that reproduces by sporing!" Seeing Aska's shocked expression, Twilight blushed. "I...read a lot of classic science fiction. It gives me a few ideas for inventions sometimes."
The next set of questions appeared on the teleprompter.
Tanget asks Ratchet, you have undoubtedly performed an outstanding job raising your adopted daughter, Twilight Sparkle, despite being an orphan yourself. Did you have inspiration from role models of your own? Perhaps a hero figure or parental substitute? Clank, how do you carry all of those items and devices? Many of those seen in verified recordings of your adventures seem to be as large, or even larger, than you are. Twilight, what is your response to accusations of industrial espionage committed on your part against Blargtech? Ratchet, how do you feel about being the last of your kind now that the Lombax Race is apparently all but extinct? Twilight, are the orange/chicken hybrids poultry or fruit? Dieticians across the known galaxies want to know!
Ratchet sighed sadly. "The only example I ever had for parenting...was the nursemaid bot that took care of the children back on Veldin when I was Twilight's age. She didn't distinguish: if there was a child, she took care of them. That's...the only exposure I had for parenting. Beyond that...I made it up as I went along, did the best I could...and loved her." Another series of Daws greeted this statement.
Clank chuckled at his question. "My interior compartments come equipped with a spatial compressor and miniaturizer. Anything I pick up I can shrink to put away and expand when I take them back out."
Twilight stared at her next question for a while. "What's...industrial espionage?" she asked in confusion.
"It means you stole technological secrets from your competitors," Aska explained.
"But Blargtech and Gadgetron have never been in competition!" Twilight pointed out. "Blargtech sold exclusively to Blargians, and Gadgetron has never sold to Blargians. Not to mention the tech I took from them was while they were trying to destroy the galaxy, and I improved on it!"
Ratchet chuckled at her indignation, but then frowned as he saw his next question. "I...never really thought about it..." He was distracted from dismay as Twilight answered her next question.
"How should I know?" she demanded, throwing her hooves up in exasperation. "I'm a scientist and a magic user, not a nutritionist! Cut one open, analyze the nutritional content, and find out for yourself!" Her frustration was met with sympathetic laughter from the audience.
Dragonok asks "Miss Sparkle, what inventions do you plan on inventing in the near future? Will they benefit the universe at large? If not, will they be focused on dealing specific issues?" "Which past invention would you consider to be your biggest achievement yet on a planetary scale?" "Are you by any chance considering to join the sports industry after your recent victory to perform in front of trillions of viewers universe-wide?"
"Mister Ratchet, how has it been being a father to a child prodigy such as Miss Sparkle?" "What would you consider to be your greatest achievement when taking care of Miss Sparkle?" "Do the both of you plan to go advertise your services like Captain Qwark?"
"Mister Clank, how has it been for you journeying with these two individuals?" "What model are you, specifically? I haven't seen it before and the audience would be quite curious to learn as well!" "What are your plans for the near future?"
Twilight chuckled at the first question. "I don't really plan my inventions. The ideas come to me, I record the details, and when I have time I build the prototypes. As for my biggest past achievement invention, that would be the..." She blushed. "The Sparklers, the planetary anti-pollution trawlers. I wish Gadgetron had named it something else, though. It sounds so cheesy..." She shrugged her shoulders. "And I don't have any plans to join professional sports. For me, hover boarding's mostly for fun."
Ratchet chuckled at his questions. "Raising her has been a real trial, I have to admit...but also the most rewarding experience of my young life. Though I can't say I've been at it long enough to really name achievements." He laughed. "She actually potty trained herself rather than use my Diapertron, and I was proud of that thing!" At his last question, however, he frowned. "I'd rather not discuss Captain Qwark, if that's alright," he said as Twilight pulled her head back into her fort.
Clank decided to answer his questions to distract from that. "Journeying with Ratchet and Twilight has been the most harrowing, exciting, enlightening, and rewarding experience of my life." He chuckled. "Of course, aside from crashing a space ship onto Veldin, it's also the first experience of my life." He frowned at the second one. "I...I am not actually a specific model number. The computer records of my actual manufacture are corrupted, but it appears some sort of computer error resulted in me coming out very different from other robots being manufactured there." He smiled. "As for my plans, I don't have any beyond enjoying time with my new friends." Ratchet reached over and patted Clank's head, and Twilight extended her own head from her fort to solicit Clank's affections. The audience Daw'ed once more.
Azreal asks What do you have to say about all the plushies that have been made of the three of you?
"If they weren't made by Gadgetron under our licensing agreement, expect a lawsuit," Ratchet growled.
"If they were, no comment," Clank added dryly.
"Either way, I want some!" Twilight chimed in happily, startling more laughter from the audience.
Pink asks Will there any official toys released soon?
"Gadgetron has already made a few designs," Ratchet explained. "Plushies, playsets, and even action figures!"
"Unfortunately, mine doesn't actually do magic," Twilight pouted. "I really tried, but I just couldn't figure out how to make that work..."
"The horn does light up, though," Clank added.
The next questions were skipped as per Ratchet's request not to talk about Captain Qwark.
Cobalt asks So, Twilight, what's it like to earn more bolts a year than most of our audience? Clank, are you multi-purpose? Say, could you make a smoothie or cook a stew in your chest compartment?
Twilight blinked. "I do? I didn't know that. Umm...I'm sorry?"
Clank chuckled at her awkwardness before answering his question. "I have not yet experimented. However, it would be easy enough to acquire a smoothie pack for installation, and it is easy enough to download a stew recipe."
Meddlers asks Twilight, have you invented a time machine? And if so did you went ahead or back in time? Ratchet, did your daughter ever made you do tea time with her, and if so who else she bring along?
Twilight shook her head. "I've never made a time machine. I wouldn't even know where to begin. And what's tea?"
Ratchet chuckled. "If that doesn't answer your question...Twilight was never one for tea parties."
Fanatic asks Twilight, With the many advancements in technology and the rate at which it advances. Do you believe there will ever come a time when technology will be unable to develop further as the knowledge required will take longer than a whole lifetime of any existing organism to learn, and utilize? And if so, will we even be able to reach so far, or will we by then have satisfied the universe and it's hunger for development? Clank, How much information are you able to process? Who is the smartest out of you three?
Twilight tilted her head. "Huh?" she asked, not really following the question she was being asked. "Daddy, did that make any sense to you?"
"Not really," Ratchet admitted. "It's a little over my head."
Clank chuckled. "Obscure philosophical debate is a little outside my friends' areas of expertise. And I am unable to answer the question put to me, as I have not yet discovered the limits of my computational capacity. However, I do not think that final question can be answered explicitly. We each have our own genius, and excel in our own areas. And we all surprise each other at times."
"I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today," Aska concluded the Q&A session. "I have to say, thank you for being on the show today. Is there anything any of you would like to say before we sign off for the day?"
"Reading is fun!" Twilight said eagerly, startling more laughter from the audience.
Clank thought for a time. "Don't let your goals blind you to what you really need. It could be right in front of you."
"Never stop dreaming," Ratchet concluded.
Aska smiled. "Well, with those words, I'm Aska Ni Teng saying, keep your eyes on The Bright Side."
As Ratchet walked out towards the chairs and couches they'd set up for the upcoming "Behind the Hero" interview, he noticed Twilight hard at work on her terminal. "What's eating you, Twilight?" he asked curiously.
"Remember that commercial we saw for the Hygienator?" she asked. "The one Captain Qwark was selling under that ridiculous pseudonym?"
Ratchet shuddered. He did remember that commercial. It still gave him nightmares, especially some of the things Qwark used the questionable device to clean...and on live holo-vision broadcast, no less! It wasn't even a late night broadcast! "I try to forget," he muttered.
"Well, he said it was a Gadgetron Hygienator," Twilight pointed out, "but I don't recall the product ever clearing testing. So I wrote Mr. Fixxit to look into it, and he just got back to me. Apparently, the Hygienator is a Gadgetron product, but it was canceled because it was never perfected. In the long run, it was more cost effective to create separate devices for each hygiene process and sell them individually or as a package deal. Investigations are currently underway regarding Qwark selling discontinued Gadgetron merchandise illegally."
Ratchet chuckled. "Glad I let you talk me out of buying one, then," he laughed. "But for now, we need to get to that interview. They came all this way, after all, and we haven't exactly had any real excitement lately."
"Right," Twilight replied, shutting down the terminal before progressing to her couch. She lay down facing the cameras on a specially designed couch for her comfort to Ratchet's left, while Clank was in a lounge chair to the right of Ratchet's.
"Welcome back to Behind the Hero!" the reporter announced. "Tonight's heroes are the trio who recently restored peace and order to our galaxy: Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight Sparkle." The announcer signaled the trio that the cameras were now focused on them. "So gentlemen, young lady, tell us about your latest, incredible adventures." As Twilight opened her mouth, the announcer cut her off. "Oh and Twilight, our audience is not exclusively the intellectual elite like yourself, so I'm afraid adventures in rewriting the laws of physics don't count." Twilight promptly pouted in response.
Ratchet couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, as you can imagine, we've been pretty busy. After Drek's defeat there were parades, press conferences, fancy dress balls..."
"Those last ones made me feel homesick for some reason," Twilight spoke up. "Which was weird, because not only have I never been to any fancy dress balls before, the first one was held here on Veldin." She shook her head in confusion.
"There was also that Weenie Roast at Al's!" Clank pointed out, trying to distract Twilight.
"Yeah, that!" Ratchet said with more enthusiasm than he'd expressed for the Weenie Roast when it happened. "And then...things started to slow down a bit," Ratchet explained in a more relaxed tone of voice. "After that, we focused on Twilight's flying lessons."
"There was the Grand Opening at Groovy Lube!" Twilight pointed out, grinning at Clank.
"And the petting zoo!" Clank added.
Ratchet and Twilight both shuddered. "We don't talk about that," Ratchet pointed out.
"Why's that?" the announcer asked.
"Because right at first, nearly everyone there mistook Daddy and I for new exhibits instead of celebrity guests!" Twilight snapped. Shuddering, she folded her wings protectively around herself. "So...many...hands..."
"Anyway," Ratchet interrupted, "I think those were...last week?"
"So we're still pretty busy," Ratchet explained, "in a more...domestic sense."
"Yesterday, I flushed out my radiator core," Clank pointed out.
"Which is good for us as a family," Ratchet pointed out happily. "It's just...no one needs a hero right now..."
As his voice trailed off, Twilight reached out a hoof to comfort him, and all three vanished in a flash of light.
The three - and their lounging equipment - reappeared in the hold of a ship with a hologram of a fat humanoid with sparse hair and an excessively happy expression.
The holographic image was entirely blue, however.
"Welcome!" he said happily.
"What the?" Ratchet demanded, going for his wrench as Twilight instinctively reached for her RYNO...which had been put away in storage, resulting in her cursing under her breath.
"I'm Abercrombie Fizzwidget," the hologram continued, "founder of the Megacorp company in the Bogon Galaxy."
"Bogon?" Ratchet asked in confusion.
"It's the next star cluster over from Solana, towards the Nexal point hypothesized to be somewhere in the unexplored Polaris galaxy," Twilight explained.
"Nexal Point?" Ratchet questioned.
"The hypothesized center of the universe," Clank explained.
"I'm sorry to incapacitate you," Abercrombie continued, causing Twilight to look around in fear, "but our entire galaxy is in a very precocious situation."
Twilight then facehooved. "Inconvenience, and precarious," she groaned.
"I must humbly request your sustenance-"
"Support," Twilight corrected with a groan.
"-on a mission of dire urgitude-"
"That one's not even a word!" Twilight complained vociferously.
"-a mission of superfluous peril-"
Twilight raised her hoof, then paused. "Actually, that part's actually grammatically correct, all things considered."
"-a mission of unequizacle imperitude!" Abercrombie finished.
Twilight slammed her face into her couch. "I give up!"
"That made no sense to me either," Clank explained.
"Oh, it made perfect sense," Twilight explained. "He wants us to come be heroes in Bogon. He just made every English Professor to ever critique language spin in their graves fast enough to power 12 planets in the process of asking is all..."
"Indubitably!" Abercrombie proclaimed. A holodisplay appeared. "A few days ago, this top secret biological experiment was stolen from our testing lavatory."
"Aw, it's adorable!" Twilight squealed over the blue, furby looking fuzzball. "I want one!"
Abercrombie seemed to smirk, then continued. "It was stolen by this dupliferous criminal mastermind!" The holodisplay showed a masked figure in a cape and mask.
"She looks cute," Twilight whispered to Clank.
"She?" Clank whispered back in surprise.
Twilight pointed with her horn. "The figure is plainly mammalian, and only female mammalian bipeds have the pronounced mammaries."
"I need you, Ratchet, to get the experiment back!" Abercrombie concluded.
"Wait, just me?" Ratchet asked in shock.
"The criminal seems to be a malodorous expert in gorilla combat, so it would be best to only send a single aficionado," he explained.
"But what about Clank and Twilight?" Ratchet asked.
"I have precipitated Crank's recalcitrance, and have prepared this counter offer. We are prepared to give him a job as the head accountant for Megacorp, plus a penthouse suite in lovely Megapolis, and our state of the art robotic masseuse." The holo display showed each item as discussed, and Clank's circuits sparked at the sight of the robotic masseuse.
"Deal!" Clank agreed readily.
"And me?" Twilight asked. "II'm pretty sure my exclusivity agreement with Gadgetron means I can't take a job at Megacorp..."
"We have consolidated such conflagration of intestines, and have a different offense planned for you, Twinkle Star," Abercrombie began.
"He could at least get the name right," Twilight groaned.
"While Ratchet is engaged in this mission of superlative importance, you will be staying in Megacorp's Child Care suite in our headquarters on Planet Yeedil, where you can spend your days either befriending other children your own age, exploring our high tech laboratories, or utilizing your own private lab for personal experiments!" Abercrombie offered, displaying holo-images of each.
"I could...make friends?" Twilight asked. "My own age? And...play with them?"
Ratchet had to look away. The naked hunger for such interaction in Twilight's eyes was embarrassing and almost painful. "Deal," he said, on Twilight's behalf.
"As for you, Ratchet," Abercrombie added, "we need you in superlatory shape! While in transit to the Bogon Galaxy, you will undergo heavy training and conditioning, including martial arts, heavy weaponry, survival skills, stealth, macrame, ballroom dance, and origami!"
"Can I train, too?" Twilight asked eagerly.
"Absotively!" Abercrombie agreed readily.
Two weeks later, they'd reached the Bogon Galaxy and completed the training. Ratchet was looking over the new green battle suit he had been provided with. "We've used bipolar vector regurgitation to track the thief's location to a flying base in Sector Seven. Infiltribulate the base, and retrieve the experiment."
"Sir, ready for launch!" Ratchet replied.
Twilight hugged Ratchet. "Come back safe, Daddy," she said. "I love you."
"Love you too, Twilight," Ratchet replied, returning the hug. "Have fun with the other kids."
Twilight stepped back. She could feel the excitement vibrating off Ratchet. He loved hero work, now that he'd gotten a taste for it. "Later, Clank!" she called out, waving.
"Safe journey, Twilight!" Clank agreed. "We will meet again soon. This shouldn't take Ratchet too long."
With that, the three went their separate ways on their various transports.
When Twilight arrived at the Megacorp base, she was greeted by workers in hazmat suits and immediately escorted to a medlab. "Umm...I thought I was going to play with other kids?" she objected in confusion.
"It's just standard issue quarantine!" Abercrombie hastened to assure her. "You're of an unknown species, after all. It's standard procedure to isomorphic you when you arrive from another galaxy before letting you fornicate with other children, to make sure they don't get any germs from you or you from them."
"That makes sense," Twilight regretfully agreed, hoping that was yet another of his linguistic slips. "So how long will it take?"
"Just a smattering of nonces, certainly," Abercrombie proclaimed. "Just to analyze a few samples is all."
Twilight sighed. She imagined this was going to take a while...
While Twilight wasn't suspicious by nature, her experience when going after Drek - specifically, when dealing with Captain Qwark - had left her with the lesson of not taking people at face value. It hadn't been a pleasant lesson, but it was one she took to heart now as she looked at her surroundings carefully. While the basic idea of a quarantine in this situation made perfect sense, the fact that Abercrombie hadn't mentioned it made it suspicious. Then again, he was desperate for assistance, so it was reasonable to assume a business tycoon would skip over unpleasant details when asking for help.
The quarantine itself, however, was exactly according to specifications that Twilight had looked up regarding Gadgetron quarantine protocols, so she assumed Megacorp would have similar protocols. They were also very careful with Woona when scanning her for any foreign contamination before returning her to Twilight. The basic scans for any such contaminants she might have on her was done just as rapidly, with no discomfort on her part.
The screening of her own biology against anything Bogon children might have would take considerably longer, however. She understood that, given that she was a brand new sophont as far as this galaxy was concerned as well. The expected blood sample was collected, along with a few feathers she was shedding anyway, some mouth swabs, and some horn shavings.
This last was the most discomforting for her. Not because it wasn't something that happened naturally. As her horn grew, the outermost portion of the calcified tissue flaked off as the newer horn grew in from underneath. The main reason it was discomforting is because a large concentration of nerve endings were focused in her horn. While blunt impact - such as using her horn to impale something - didn't cause too much reaction, any sort of rubbing or grinding motion was highly uncomfortable and disturbing.
Fizzwidget collected the horn shavings himself, being very careful and gentle with it. "I know this can't be very compatible for you," he apologized, "but it is unfortunately negatory for proper exhumation."
Twilight winced, more from his sentence structure than his gentle ministrations collecting the horn shavings. "While I appreciate that...I wish your elocution was a bit more standard in practice."
Fizzwidget sighed. "I'm well aware my verbosity is far from combustible," he replied. "I promise it's not intestinal."
"I know you don't do it on porpoise," Twilight replied before groaning. "But it seems horn shavings isn't all that's rubbing off."
Chuckling, Fizzwidget gathered the samples. "Is there anything I can do to make your stay more conformist?" he asked. "At least until we can lift the quasar?"
Twilight sighed, cuddling Woona. "Any chance I could contact Daddy?"
Fizzwidget frowned. "Given the erroneous nature of his mission, video contact would be inadmissible."
"I didn't mean calling him," Twilight countered. As much as I wish I could, she thought silently. "But could I write him a letter or something?"
"Certainly!" Fizzwidget replied. "I'll see he gets it potato bake!"
Smiling and rolling her eyes, Twilight accepted the tablet offered her to write her letter.
Dear Daddy,
I'm here on Yeedil, but I haven't met any other kids yet. I'm still in medical quarantine to make sure playing with the other kids doesn't get me sick. I hope you're doing well on your mission. Clank implied that you would be able to complete your mission quite easily. If so, I'll probably still be in quarantine by the time you come to pick me up from Day Care. Wouldn't that be a hoot?
I'm going to see if I can talk to Clank. He's working in the accounting department, so he should be able to make time to come see me, right? I hope he's not too busy.
Good luck storming the castle Daddy! I love you. Twilight.
She handed the tablet up to Fizzwidget. "Is there any chance Clank could stop by?" she asked hopefully.
"I'll let him know you asked," Fizzwidget promised before turning to leave.
Twilight wasn't entirely sure how long she'd been in quarantine. She'd fully expected it to be a protracted amount of time, but her only sense of the passage of time was whenever some doctor came in to run another test, whether collecting another sample or a scan, or some other examination. None of it was in any way invasive or uncomfortable, but it wasn't exactly reassuring, either. Without any books to read or anything else to work with, she ate the food she was provided whenever she asked for it and slept when she grew tired, and sent another letter to Ratchet whenever she felt it had been long enough since the previous one. However, it was impossible to keep accurate track of how long she had actually been there.
With boredom eating away at her, she eventually decided to try something she'd read about just before Fizzwidget had called on them. Curling up to Woona, she let herself sink into a state resembling slumber, slowed her breathing, stood up, and left her body behind.
She smiled down at her ethereal frame, pleased that her first attempt at Astral Projection had gone off without a hitch. Glancing back at her physical body, she saw that the glow of her horn flowed into her Pilot's Helmet, showing how the magic took shape so easily. Giggling, she turned and floated through the wall to explore the Headquarters.
"Well, Fizzwidget did say I could explore his high tech labs," she said aloud to justify her actions, her voice audible to none. Floating around, she looked to see if she could find the Child Care center. Maybe she could at least see what the children here looked like.
No matter how long she searched, however, she saw no children. She saw quite a few labs testing all sorts of products, and an uncomfortably large number of battle robot manufacturing plants, but nowhere that could conceivably be considered a Child Care Center. "Well, that doesn't make any sense," Twilight muttered. "Fizzwidget said I'd be spending time in the Child Care Center, but there doesn't appear to be one."
After a time of ethereal exploration, however, she saw Fizzwidget returning in private transport from somewhere, carrying a parcel of some sort. Curious, she followed him.
Making his way to the biolab, Fizzwidget pulled the Experiment from the parcel, stuffing it into a cage. The creature started snarling, biting at the cage bars and trying to chew its way out, but froze. Turning, it looked straight at where Twilight was floating.
Confused, Twilight floated around the room, shocked as the creature's eyes followed her. "You can see me?" she gasped.
The creature nodded.
"And hear me too? That's amazing!" She floated up to the creature to examine it more closely.
It suddenly roared, thrashing around in its cage.
"You're in pain?" she whimpered sympathetically. "Let me see if I can do something about it..." She stretched a hoof out to stroke its head.
Without warning, she felt her ethereal body pulled into its frame. Instantly, she was able to establish the source of its agony. "Geeze! Why is that gland making so much of that chemical?" She focused her magical awareness on the gland in the poor creature's brain. "There's no way you need this much. Let's see if I can..."
Focusing her magic, she attempted to decrease the bio-chemical production of the creature's gland. It took more focus than any other magic she'd tried before, both because she was working on a biological subject and because she was working without her physical body. However, eventually she was able to reduce the gland's production to only the levels that were actually needed. She also saw the creature's genetic code tweak itself to include the reduction in production.
"There we go!" Twilight said, separating from the creature. "Better?"
The creature smiled happily, letting out a purring sound as it nodded, attempting to nuzzle her non-physical form.
She giggled in reply. "I like you," she told it. "I don't know what Fizzwidget has planned, but I'm going to call you Mr. Fuzzy-Biter. Do you like that?"
Mr. Fuzzy-Biter nodded his appreciation of his new name. However, as Fizzwidget approached, Fuzzy-Biter growled at him.
Twilight could only watch in shock as Fizzwidget started using electrical discharges to force Fuzzy-Biter to produce more of himself at an accelerated rate, the excess copies immediately boxed up for shipment. "That's...that's awful!" She rubbed the fuzzy critter's back comfortingly. "Don't worry, Mr. Fuzzy-Biter. I'll get you out of here somehow."
Mr. Fuzzy-Biter gritted through the pain, but nodded his ascent.
Frowning, Twilight flew back to her body to begin her plans. However, as she merged with her flesh, a new worry made her pull Woona in for a tight embrace.
If the biological experiment had been recovered...where was Ratchet?
Twilight had been fretting for quite some time, how long she wasn't sure, about that last concern. Ratchet was supposed to retrieve Mr. Fuzzy-Biter. Mr. Fuzzy-Biter was here, but no sign of Ratchet. Also, she hadn't heard back from Ratchet or Clank despite many attempts to communicate with them. From her speculation, she had come to three viable conclusions from available data.
One, that wasn't the original biological experiment Fizzwidget had brought back, but a duplicate. This possibility was discounted as Fizzwidget - whatever his motivations - would not have hired anyone to retrieve the original if he had a backup copy. There would be no point to that, as far as Twilight could tell. Admittedly, she was only 7, so there might be motivations she wouldn't understand, but it didn't seem likely.
The second possibility was that Ratchet had returned Mr. Fuzzy-Biter, and then chosen not to return for Twilight. This was discounted by now because, even if Ratchet had taken time to indulge in a more adult form of female companionship before coming for her - her reading had indicated that adolescent males of any species could become easily distracted in that regard, and the thief was a mature female by Twilight's reckoning - he would have come for her by now. The only way that wouldn't be the case is if Ratchet and Clank were both secretly evil, and she didn't think that was possible. ...at least, she didn't want to think it was possible.
The third possibility was that Fizzwidget was evil, and had deliberately prevented Ratchet's return and was keeping Twilight isolated for his own nefarious purposes. Twilight at first found this possibility easy enough to believe, with how readily Abrecrombie butchered Galactic Standard. She couldn't figure out what his game plan was, though, as nothing in what he did seemed to make sense for any long term goal. If his goals involved using Twilight against her will, why was she kept in such comfort? If it required her cooperation, why hadn't he spent any length of time trying to talk to her? Beyond that, she had trouble thinking of Fizzwidget as any sort of tactical genius.
Whatever the actual reasoning behind what was going on, she needed to find out what was going on with Ratchet. To that end, she cuddled up tight to Woona once more, she feigned sleep as she focused her magic through her Pilot's Helmet and into her Omniwrench. It was a magically created duplicate of the one Ratchet wielded, so logic indicating that projecting herself into hers should result in projecting out of his. At least, if her understanding of magical theory was as accurate as she hoped. As long as she didn't come out backwards...
Twilight's ethereal body popped out in a bustling metropolis of a planet, surrounded by swarms of duplicates of Mr. Fuzzy-Biter. All were calmly playing with children - robotic or otherwise - and nuzzling up to Ratchet and Clank. The only time they seemed to show aggressive behavior was when robots brought out weapons or weaponized vehicles, at which point the fuzzy balls revealed their teeth and tore the weapons to shreds, but left the robots and vehicles intact before proceeding to nuzzle them.
"This is...weird," Ratchet was saying, staring around. "Angela said that she hadn't fixed the errors in the Protopet's genetic code yet."
Angela? Twilight wondered silently. I wonder who that is.
"Perhaps she progressed further than she thought before we retrieved it from her," Clank offered.
Oh! Angela must be the thief, and a scientist who worked on Mr. Fuzzy-Biter! Twilight mused happily. An even better match for Daddy than I thought! She paused in her musings. But why's Clank here?
As Ratchet and Clank progressed through the city, Twilight noticed Ratchet had modified his Omniwrench. Two new modules were attached to it. One was attached to the base, manipulating the mass of the wrench to add weight to the swing without making it heavier. The other was attached to the head, sharpening the outside of the wrench head to blade sharpness. I want those, she purred eagerly, already speculating how she might tweak them to be even more efficient.
"Either way, we need to get back to Angela and get the coordinates for Yeedil," Ratchet pointed out. "Twilight's there somewhere, and I don't believe for a minute after all this that she's actually in a Child Care center. 'Communications Blackout for the mission' my eye! Who knows what Fizzwidget's been doing to her!"
Twilight gasped. So that was why she hadn't heard back from Ratchet! Fizzwidget was deliberately keeping them from communicating. He was evil!
Still, this wasn't enough to go on. Even if she knew Fizzwidget was evil, it didn't clear the path enough for her to break out. She'd have to wait for Ratchet and Clank to get to Yeedil, since she couldn't get off planet without a ship.
Well, she doubted it would take that long. She could tell Ratchet was angry, and she actually felt a bit sorry for anyone who got in his way now. She turned to dive back into his Omniwrench.
"You think she's going to be okay?" Ratchet worried.
"I am certain she will be," Clank assured him. "I imagine she's making things hectic for Fizzwidget if she's discovered his deception."
Coming back out through her own Omniwrench to float over her body, she thought about what Clank had said. How could she make things hectic for Fizzwidget without putting herself in any additional danger? She decided to consult Mr. Fuzzy-Biter, since she wanted to save him, too.
Floating out to where he was in his cage, she found he wasn't presently being forced to produce more of himself, so she touched his mind. "How are you doing?" she asked in concern.
He smiled back at her, shrugging non-existent shoulders. She felt similar reactions from many other minds.
She gasped in shock. "You're linked to all your copies?" When he nodded in reply, she grinned widely. "I have an idea. Can you open a broadcast for me?"
At that moment, her mind was nearly overwhelmed as she felt the touch of millions upon millions of minds. All were simple and similar enough to handle, but the sheer volume of thought was overwhelming. They all fell silent, awaiting her instruction.
She presented Fizzwidget to them as she'd encountered him, the one who had carried Mr. Fuzzy-Biter into his cage. "Evil," she said, keeping it simple.
She felt a wave of agreement from the amassed minds.
She then offered her image of Ratchet and Clank. "Good." This was accepted easily. "Save us. Help them!"
This was responded to with a battle cry, and she felt hundreds of 'Protpets' on other worlds turning their attention to hostiles - robotic and biological - that were targeting Ratchet and Clank.
Smiling, she presented what she'd seen of the Megacorp base here on Yeedil. "Make chaos. Make path-"
A sudden explosion rocked her out of her astral projection and back into her body. Glancing around, she saw a slightly singed Protopet glancing at her through a nearby air vent. As soon as it saw she was still moving, it grinned, winked at her, then rushed back off into the facility. She heard a great many explosions, more curse words than she knew the meaning of, alarms, and the sounds of running feet.
"When did they become organized?" one scientist was shouting as he rushed down the hall.
Twilight smiled. It seemed things were under control now. Letting out a yawn, she curled up for a real nap to conserve her strength, and preserve plausible deniability.
Sometime later, she felt something nudging her awake. Turning, she saw a Protopet nuzzling against her and tapping her wrench with one little foot. It didn't take her long to realize he was telling her that Ratchet and Clank had arrived, and it was time to get a move on. Smiling, she gathered everything - including Woona - into the pocket dimension she'd created in her saddlebags to store her extra weaponry before following him into the airducts.
Following her guide, she managed to get through the air ducts to a lab entrance just in time to see Mister Fizzwidget blast the fembot that Clank had been flirting with back on Veldin. Ratchet, Clank, and a felinoid woman she didn't recognize stared in shock. Given body shape and proportions, Twilight presumed this was the thief, whom Ratchet had referred to as Angela.
"What the?" Ratchet demanded in shock.
"You dare!" Clank snapped angrily.
"Mr. Fizzwidget?" Angela demanded.
Mr. Fizzwidget then unzipped a body suit disguise, revealing Captain Qwark, who laughed maniacally.
"...well, that raises more questions than it answers," Clank said into the sudden silence.
"Alright," Angela snarled, "just what the it was censored in the game, too is going on?"
In the air duct, Twilight giggled. I like her already, she thought silently.
"Allow me to explain," Qwark proclaimed proudly. "I'm about to save the galaxy from the Protopets, and you are about to become public enemy numbers one, two, and three!" He pointed dramatically at Angela, Ratchet, and Clank. "I can't believe my plan has gone so perfectly! I don't know why the Protopets only attacked armed targets once they started being cloned, but the footage I've captured of their coordinated battles here are almost too perfect for my purposes!"
Twilight winced. Shit! she thought silently. I helped Qwark? But what's his plan, anyway?
"Guards!" Qwark barked out. "Seize them!"
As the guards grabbed hold of the trio, Ratchet struggled the most. "Where's Twilight? What have you done with her? What does she have to do with your plans?"
Qwark laughed. "Don't you get it Ratchet? This - all of this - has all been about Twilight!" Four gasps - though one unheard - greeted this statement. "And you gave me the idea, Ratchet." Grinning widely, Qwark pulled out a recorder and pushed play. Ratchet's voice was heard plainly.
"...a sudden super hero family probably would have brought in even better press than a lone superhero..."
Qwark stopped the tape. "Your idea, Ratchet. And you're right. My comeback will be so much better, more believable, and all the sweeter...with Twilight at my side."
"What?" Ratchet demanded angrily as Twilight gasped in shock. "What makes you think Twilight would ever pick you over me? I'm her Father! And a hero like her!"
"She may believe that now," Qwark replied with a grin. "But your own words will condemn you in her eyes." He manipulated the recorder to play two other quotes of Ratchet's.
"-I didn't care about the fate of the galaxy-"
"-she's just an obsessive, idealistic six year old-"
Turning off the recorder, Qwark grinned again. "How much would her faith in you be shaken, Ratchet?" Qwark asked. "How much more after I rescue her from Megacorp...especially when she finds paperwork showing that you sold her to Fizzwidget, and of 'Fizzwidget's plans to mass produce clones of her?"
"What?" Ratchet demanded in shock. "I would never-"
"You didn't really read all the paperwork you signed in amongst that 'non-disclosure agreement' regarding retrieving the Protopet, did you?" Qwark responded snidely. "I hired a real good lawyer to go over those to make sure she'd believe it. Between that and you not responding to the dozens of letters she sent you both-"
"I was under a communications blackout!" Ratchet countered hotly.
"I received no messages!" Clank added angrily.
Qwark grinned. "She doesn't know that." He then gestured to the guards. "Take them to the prepared area!" he proclaimed, swiping a gadget from Angela as they were dragged away.
At first Twilight wanted to go after them, but noticed something odd about Qwark. Once Ratchet and the others were gone, he didn't look pleased with himself. In point of fact, he looked...ashamed.
"It's the only way," he muttered under his breath. "It's the only way..." He turned to walk away, and Twilight followed him.
Before heading to where the guards had dragged Ratchet and the others off to, he went to a backroom of Fizzwidget's office that had been redecorated. The room was covered with tons of pictures taken of Captain Qwark at various points in his heroic career. At first, Twilight couldn't understand Qwark's sorrow in this room, until she looked at the oldest pictures.
As far back in Qwark's life as she could see...he was always alone. No one was in the pictures with him. Only the most recent was different. A picture of her from her first press conference after saving Solana had been cut from the original picture and pasted onto a picture of Qwark at a press conference. In the original picture, she had been half hiding behind Ratchet. Now, it looked like she was hiding behind Qwark.
"The only way..." he repeated to himself. "The only way you'll accept me...the only way I won't be alone anymore..." Nodding firmly to himself, he turned to head after his guardbots.
Confused, uncertain, but angry, Twilight followed, trying to decide what she would do.
Twilight had kept up with Qwark via the air ducts, and saw him making his speech to Bogon Galaxy via camera of how he was the hero. She wasn't really paying attention to much of it, since she saw Mr. Fuzzy-Biter standing in front of the camera.
When she heard him talking about using the Helix-o-Morph to render every Protopet in the galaxy harmless, she realized it was supposed to mess with Mr. Fuzzy-Biter's brain chemistry, probably what she'd already done to reduce that hormone production. But I already fixed that! she gasped silently. What'll it do to him now?
As he moved to press the button, Twilight screamed out, "No!" and teleported between him and Mr. Fuzzy-Biter. The energy from the device hit her and sent her flying back.
"Twilight!" four voices yelled in shock and concern.
Twilight glanced up at them all, pain flaring through her body as the energy coursed through her magic violently. "I...I already...fixed him..." she gasped out. She suddenly screamed in pain.
Her magic flared. Her shadow sprang from the floor to wrap around her before bulging off of her.
Twilight's scream of pain petered off as the shadow expanded, taking form over her as it finished manifesting. Its legs were longer and thinner relative to Twilight's proportions, and its coat a much darker shade of purple. Its large purple eyes surrounded cat like slits braced against a gray cornea. Bony armor gripped its barrel, back, and head in place of a mane, as well as surrounding its horn, which was a twisted mockery of Twilight's. The tail was a whip-like shadow stretching back from its body. One wing was a shadowy birds wing, but the other was a rotting bat wing. A purple jewel was embedded in its forehead just below the horn.
As the figure rose to its steel shod hooves, it seized Twilight's omniwrench in a magical grip. The wrench warped and twisted, and a dark sword blade erupted from the head, taking shape as a wicked weapon of destruction. As the shape stabilized, Twilight's color started to fade, and the marks on her flanks vanished. A single purple star appeared on the flanks of the creature, almost completely consumed by shadows.
A Nightmare was born from agony. A Dark Star had risen.
"What have you done?" Ratchet demanded of Qwark, rushing to Twilight's side.
Dark Star hissed, swinging the sword at Ratchet, positioning itself between him and Twilight. Twilight herself remained unmoving.
"Get out of my way!" Ratchet roared, pulling out several of his weapons to open fire.
Most of the weapons fire was either deflected magically, sidestepped, or blocked with the sword when Dark Star wasn't swiping at him directly. A few blasts, however, did impact against Dark Star. It flinched back at each impact, hissing defiance, but showed no sign of injury.
Qwark staggered back from the conflict, the Helix-o-Morph falling from his grasp. "No..." he whimpered. "This wasn't supposed to happen. She was never supposed to get hurt...this wasn't...Twilight..."
Taking advantage of Qwark's distraction, Clank raced forward and snatched the Helix-o-Morph. He then rushed back to Angela Cross. "Is there any chance you can fix this?" he asked her.
"What is this?" Angela demanded in fear, hyperventilating. "What is this-"
Clank slapped her across the face. "Hysterics later," he directed sternly. He handed her the Helix-o-Morph. "Science now."
Angela took the Helix-o-Morph, struggling to focus on analyzing it. "This isn't science!" she snapped angrily, turning it over and over as her brain went into overdrive. "What is that?" she demanded, pointing at Dark Star.
"I am not entirely certain," Clank replied, turning to watch the battle for a time. "However, whatever it is appears to be drawing power from Twilight. At best, I would guess that your Helix-o-Morph interacted with her magic and, for some reason, resulted in the generation of...that."
"But that doesn't make any sense!" Angela proclaimed. "My Helix-o-Morph was designed to reduce hostile behavior and mutations! What did Qwark do to my Gadget?" Angela shivered all over. "I don't do well under pressure! It could take months of research and-"
"The battery is in backwards," Clank pointed out.
Blinking, Angela turned the device over. "Huh, so it is." She quickly turned the battery around. "But what now? The battery is nearly drained! I don't think it has enough power to reverse this...not if it drained the battery this much!"
Meanwhile, the battle raged on. Ratchet was rapidly going through much of his ammunition trying to blast his way past Dark Star to get to Twilight. He had already lost all his Tesla Barrier ammunition deflecting fireballs, blasts of ice, and bolts of lightning. The barriers proved to have no effect on the waves of shadows thrown at him, so Ratchet had to either dodge or shoot those, and only energy based weapons worked. The frustrating part for him - which left him blinded by rage - was that Dark Star continued to show no reaction to any impact, taking no visible damage from the barrage.
Qwark's eyes hadn't left Twilight's recumbent form the entire fight. He saw her twitching as the fight went on, and desperately wanted to find some way to help her, to save her. However, his mind had never been strong. It had taken him nearly a year to come up with this insane plan to get Twilight away from Ratchet and make Ratchet look bad while he looked good, hoping that would lead Twilight to follow him instead. He couldn't think quickly in an emergency like this one.
It had taken him this long to realize that Twilight flinched every time Dark Star took damage.
Blinking at that, he pulled out a pair of magnifier goggles to look closer. His eyes widened as he saw the nanotech readout on Twilight's armor. He knew it had been full near the start of the fight, even after Dark Star had formed, but now it was nearly empty. When the next blast hit Dark Star, the gauge went dark, Twilight flinched and whimpered, and a burn wound appeared on her side just under her wing, right where Dark Star had been hit.
Qwark's mind put those pieces together so fast it actually hurt his brain. He spun to the battle.
Ratchet growled, pulling out his RYNO II. "Get out of my way!" he roared, opening fire. The rapport as the weapon discharged its entire payload of 100 missiles towards Dark Star was deafening.
"No!" Qwark shouted out, lunging forward. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion to his senses. The missiles flew towards Dark Star. Dark Star reared in response, hissing defiance, its sword swinging into position. He wasn't going to make it in time.
He refused to accept it. He had failed to be the hero Twilight wanted in Solana. He had made himself the villain to try and be her hero here in Bogon. He would not fail her again.
His eyes closed as he ran, and he remembered how it had felt when she had first turned that idolizing gaze upon him. She saw him as he had always wanted to be seen: a hero, a symbol of courage and hope. He probably would never be such a hero again. But he hadn't been lying when he'd said Ratchet and Twilight possessed the qualities to be true heroes.
He would not let his mistakes destroy them both!
He felt his arms wrap around a large equine form, heard a hiss of surprise and defiance. He heard Ratchet's scream of shocked confusion.
He felt the barrage of 100 destructive missiles slam into his arms, back, head, and legs, and the agony of their detonations tearing at his flesh.
As the noise faded, his eyes opened. Looking up, his vision blurry, he saw Dark Star looking down at him in confusion and disdain. Looking over the wing, he saw Twilight's recumbent figure, still breathing. He smiled in relief, only to be smacked away by the sword. He landed painfully on his back near Ratchet.
"Qwark, what are you thinking?" Ratchet demanded angrily.
"Twilight..." Qwark gasped out, his wounded flesh flinching against the ground. "That thing...she takes its damage..."
"What?" Ratchet demanded, spinning to glance towards Twilight. His eyes widened in fear as he saw the scorch across her side, where he'd scored Dark Star with his Lava Gun in desperation. "T-Twilight..." he gasped, realizing what would have happened if his RYNO II barrage had hit Dark Star.
Dark Star hissed in fury, and launched a wave of shadows at Ratchet and Qwark.
Ratchet lifted his hand defensively, closing his eyes against his own fear. He was all out of weapons. His Megacorp gadgets were useless here. Clank was out of reach. He was going to die.
He was going to lose Twilight.
The surprised turn of Dark Star's vocalizations caused his eyes to snap open. The wave of shadows was held at bay, a blue glow surrounding them. "What...?" Ratchet began in confusion.
"Ratchet!" Clank called out. "Do not lose focus!"
Blinking, Ratchet's eyes fell on his outstretched hand. The Power Gauntlet glowed with the same blue light that held the shadows at bay. "What...?" Seeing the blue light start to flicker, he discarded his questions and doubts and focused.
Dark Star roared in rage and swung the sword up to bring it down upon Ratchet...only for both sword and beast to be knocked back by a sudden barrage of Protopets. The blue fuzzballs piled onto the beast, gripping gently everywhere their mouths could find a hold, weighing the beast down through sheer mass of fluff.
Dark Star dropped the sword, which reverted to the Omniwrench. Snarling in fury, it struggled against the weight of the beasts. Letting go of the wave of shadows, Dark Star fired off a blast of raw power against Ratchet.
Not knowing what else to do, Ratchet held up the Power Gauntlet, focusing all he could on pushing the blast back. The Gauntlet glowed blue, and the blue light pushed against the blast, but it quickly started to fail. The Power Gauntlet shook violently from the stresses put on its circuitry. Ratchet closed his eyes against the inevitable.
The Power Guantlet shattered, the fragments tearing at Ratchet's arm. As his blood flowed freely, it dripped into the sphere of blue light that still emitted from the focus crystal that was the only piece that still held. The focus crystals of the mass produced Power Gloves and Gauntlets were of mass produced crystal formulated specifically for the purpose. But Twilight had found a natural gemstone that occurred only on Veldin in very small quantities for use in Ratchet's. It was a crimson gemstone that was not quite a ruby.
Twilight had called it a Carbuncle.
As Ratchet's blood dripped onto the gem, the blue light flared even brighter, pushing Dark Star's attack back. Dark Star's eyes widened in shock, and it screamed in fury, thrashing against the mass of Protopets holding it down, until the blue beam of light pushed all the way back to its horn, snuffing out the attack.
A desperate stratagem occurred to Clank as his sensors struggled to make sense of what he was perceiving. Trusting to his circuits, he seized the Helix-o-Morph from Angela and hurled it into the blue light.
The Helix-o-Morph shattered, and the blue light erupted into three bolts of lightning. The first shot straight through Dark Star's horn before anchoring in Twilight's, while the other two repeated the action with the wings. Dark Star screamed in rage, defiance, and agony as the shadows that made up its form began to dissolve. The darkness faded, purple light taking its place before flowing into Twilight. As the light flowed into her and the lightning faded, her coloration returned to normal. Last of all, the marks returned to her flanks.
"Twi...light..." Ratchet gasped out. Falling forward, he slumped into unconsciousness.
As Clank, Angela, and Abercrombie Fizzwidget - who had been released from the supply closet by a swarm of Protopets during the ruckus - rushed forward to tend the wounded, the Carbuncle fell to the ground, its surface cracked, its glow faded. Pushed beyond the jewels integrity and ability to handle the forces that had run through it, the crystal crumbled into dust, blowing away on the wind.
Twilight stirred slowly, dragging herself inch by inch from the blackness that enveloped her mind. As she struggled, she heard a familiar voice. "She is waking."
"C-Clank?" she managed to say, her voice still weak. "W...what happened? I dreamed...the Nightmare got out..."
Clank let out a sad sigh. "It did, Twilight. But Ratchet put it back where it belongs."
Twilight reached a hoof to her head. She didn't really like thinking about that thing being inside her.
"Twilight!" Ratchet gasped out, racing into the room and scooping Twilight into his arms. "Thank the gods you're okay!" He held her close to his chest, stroking her mane and crying his eyes out.
"D-Daddy?" Twilight gasped in shock.
"You're okay now, Twilight!" Ratchet whispered firmly. "You're okay, we're back together now, and I'm never leaving you in someone else's care like that again! I won't ever let something like this happen again!"
Twilight blinked for a bit. "Umm...does Clank count as 'someone else', or does this mean you won't be taking Angela on a date?"
"Wait, what?" Ratchet asked, shocked. "Me and Angela? No, no there's nothing like that, Twilight!"
"Dammit!"
At Twilight's sudden oath, Ratchet and Clank burst into laughter. A blue fuzzball bounced up to nuzzle them.
"Mr. Fuzzy-Biter?" Twilight said, shocked. "What are you doing here? And..." She glanced around at the spacious, well appointed apartment and out the windows on all sides to the spacious city vista visible. "Where is here?"
"This is our penthouse apartment in Megapolis," Clank explained. "Mr. Fizzwidget - the real Mr. Fizzwidget - decided we should keep the apartment Qwark assigned me while pretending to be Fizzwidget. Mr. Fizzwidget also decided that Mr. Fuzzy-Biter should stay with you, since he seems to have imprinted on you somehow."
Twilight smiled as she cuddled the original Protopet, but frowned a bit when her mind registered the rest of the sentence, not sure how to feel about Qwark. "And...the Captain?"
"In intensive care back on Yeedil," Ratchet explained, rueful compassion in his voice. "Even someone as tough as him doesn't get back up easily after a full RYNO II salvo to the back."
"He what?" Twilight demanded in shock. "Why'd you do that?"
"I think it'd be better to let her see for herself," Angela said from the door to the room, walking towards the TV. Halfway there, she tripped and fell flat on her face. "...I meant to do that," she groaned, holding her hand up assertively.
Clank chuckled briefly before picking up the remote. Twilight then watched the video recorded by the security cameras on Yeedil of the fight between Ratchet, Qwark, and her inner Nightmare. "But...but why did Qwark leap in front like that?"
"Because he saw what I missed," Ratchet explained. "That any damage to Dark Star-"
"Dark Star?" Twilight asked, confused.
"It's what the Nightmare that came out of you has been dubbed," Clank explained.
Twilight frowned. "Why the heck did they have to make it sound so cool?" she pouted. This startled another chuckle out of Ratchet and Angela. "You were saying?"
"Qwark spotted that damage to Dark Star was being echoed onto your body," Clank explained. He pointed on the feed to where Twilight's recumbent form was burned, and showed her the same spot on her own body. "Had Qwark not taken that blast...you would have taken the full force of a RYNO II salvo...with your armor's nanotech already empty. With that empty and all your magic in Dark Star..."
"I...I would have killed you..." Ratchet whispered. "I wouldn't even have known..." Tears beaded the corners of his eyes.
Twilight wrapped her forelegs around as much of Ratchet as she could reach. "It's not your fault, Daddy. You didn't know..." She took the remote from Clank's hands and began scrolling the video back and forth over Qwark's charge to protect her. "But how did he move that fast? It's not scientifically possible, and Qwark doesn't have any magic as far as I know..."
Ratchet managed a chuckle, pleased to see Twilight more like herself again. "Maybe you can explain the rest of it?" he asked, scrolling the video ahead.
Twilight stared, her jaw slack, as she watched the magical conclusion of the battle. "...since when do you have magic, Daddy?"
"No idea," Ratchet admitted, scratching the back of his head with his heavily bandaged arm.
"I guess I'll have to rebuild your Power Gauntlet," Twilight began, trying to sit up, only to fall back into her bed. "Or maybe just order a replacement from Gadgetron..."
Ratchet tucked Twilight back in. "You just rest up for now," he told her. "You'll be better in no time-"
"How was the mission?" Twilight spoke up. "I want some stories!"
Ratchet laughed. "Alright," he said easily, sitting beside her bed. "What part would you like to hear about?"
Twilight thought for a time. "How about how you found out the thief was Angela?"
"And perhaps his initial reaction to realizing she was female?" Clank offered teasingly.
"Hey!" Ratchet snapped at Clank, startling laughter all around. "Well, that's pretty late in the story. So how about I start at the beginning?" When Twilight nodded, he smiled and continued. "Well, it all started out when I infiltrated her aerial base..."
Angela sat back, watching as Ratchet told Twilight tales of his most recent adventure. She at first winced as he came to some of the things he told about her own actions, but he focused more on the humor of her occasional ineptitude rather than her more malicious actions. Admittedly, the only thing she did that could be classified as malicious was when she zapped Clank to try and make Ratchet back off, although Twilight found that more humorous than frightening.
Not that being known as the villain who can't push the right button is any better, she grumbled in her thoughts. Continuing to watch, she was happy to see that Twilight was going to be alright, and she was beginning to see why Ratchet was so focused on her rescue. Sighing, she pushed herself off the wall, turning to leave.
As she approached the door, however, she saw a sign stuck to the wall near her in a handwriting she didn't recognize.
No hurry. Wheee!
Chuckling, she continued to make her way to the door, only to trip and fall. Grumbling, she pushed herself up, only to trip again the moment she took another step, falling forward but somehow finding herself closer to Twilight's bed than the door. When this repeated a third, fourth, fifth, and sixth time, she threw up her hands in defeat. "Alright! I'll stick around!"
As she turned to rejoin the storytelling, she missed the Zoni dressed as Cupid vanishing with a quiet, "Wheee!"
Angela Cross stopped by the Megapolis apartment for what she was certain would be the last time. Her light knock on the door was quickly answered by a cheery looking filly. "Angela!" Twilight greeted happily. "Come on in! Daddy's not awake yet, but I think he'll be happy to see you when he wakes up!"
Angela winced. She hadn't been looking forward to this conversation today with Ratchet. She definitely wasn't looking forward to having it in front of Twilight, or with Twilight. "So how you holding up?" she asked, walking carefully to avoid tripping. "Fully recovered from what happened?"
"Pretty much," Twilight replied. "My magic is taking a longer time than usual to return to full strength, but all things considered, that's probably to be expected, right?"
Angela chuckled, shaking her head. "Someone as young as you shouldn't be talking about an event that resulted in such total exhaustion as 'usual'."
Twilight giggled. "I don't exactly live a normal life, that's for sure." Twilight focused as she levitated some tea out. "So how are things with you and Daddy?"
Angela flinched visibly. "Twilight...I really didn't want to talk with you until I'd talked with Ratchet about this..."
Twilight gasped happily. "Oh my gosh, are you pregnant?"
"No!" Angela said quickly. "No, I'm not pregnant." Seeing Twilight's disappointment and confusion, Angela realized she was going to have to tell her. "Twilight...I'm afraid I'm going to have to break up with Ratchet."
"What? Why?" Twilight asked, her ears flat against her head. "Don't you like him?"
"Of course I like him," Angela hastened to assure the distraught filly. "He's a swell guy, really sweet. He'll make somebody really happy someday. But...just now, that somebody can't be me. Even if he weren't ten years younger than me..."
"That shouldn't be a problem!" Twilight pointed out. "I mean, he's a Lombax, just like y-"
Angela's hands shot out, covering Twilight's mouth. "Don't say that!" she hissed quietly. "Don't ever say that! You have no idea how dangerous that information is!"
Twilight's eyes went wide in surprise and fear.
Angela sighed. She hated having to scare Twilight like this, but there was a reason things were like this. She decided to be as vague as possible. "Look...there's...a danger. Something that makes it not safe to be a Lombax. Ratchet is safe enough in Solana, and hasn't made a big enough name for himself to draw attention, especially with how young he is. I'm a different story. I don't dare draw attention to myself, and two known Lombaxes would draw attention like nobody's business, and I'm old enough to draw attention all on my own if I was known."
Twilight pulled away from her hands. "But it can't be that bad-"
"I cut off my own tail to hide!" Angela hissed. "Without my tail, my balance and stability is whack, but I can pass for any other felinoid species in the known universe, and there are plenty. Not only that, no one who knows anything about Lombaxes would believe one would cut off their own tail, because it doesn't grow back...ever." She took a few calming breaths, hating herself for terrorizing Twilight like this. "So...as long as that threat exists...as much as I like Ratchet, we can't go any further than we have."
Twilight stared at her for a time, and Angela feared she'd traumatized the poor filly. But then she spoke up. "So will you look Ratchet up after we've destroyed this threat?"
One of Angela's eyebrows shot up to her ear while the other tried to fold over her eyeball. "Excuse me?" she asked in disbelief.
"Daddy heard about Drek taking planets apart in Solana, and we saved the galaxy, stopping Drek," Twilight explained. "Then we learned about everything here in Bogon, and wound up dealing with that. Logically, if there's a threat that's going to be focused on Daddy at some point, Daddy, Clank, and I are going to end up dealing with it so it isn't a threat anymore!" Twilight beamed with the strength of her conviction in this regard. "So if we eliminate this threat, will you look Daddy up again?"
Angela chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief at the filly's innocent optimism. She wasn't sure how Twilight could still have it after everything she'd been through - Ratchet had talked a lot about Twilight on their few dates - but it was reassuring that it was so. It almost let Angela believe that Ratchet could pull off the insane achievement Twilight had suggested. "Tell you what: if you do pull it off, I'll happily join Ratchet's harem. How's that sound?"
Twilight tilted her head. "What's a harem?"
Angela laughed, having forgotten momentarily that Twilight was only seven. "In this case, it's when one male has several females as romantic partners."
Twilight gasped. "You mean I'll get lots of Mommies?" she squealed happily.
Angela rolled her eyes. "You just might," she joked.
"I'll hold you to that!" Twilight said happily. Then she blinked. "Wait...does that mean I could get a harem of boys?" she asked eagerly.
Angela chuckled again. "Aren't you still in the 'boys are icky' stage of growth?"
"Of course I am," Twilight countered. "But I've read enough to know that won't last forever, and the notion of lots of guys fawning over me and waiting on me wing and hoof has a guilty sort of appeal, you know?"
Angela smirked. "Save the galaxy enough times, and you'll get one whether you like it or not."
At that point, Ratchet came down from the bedrooms. "Oh, Angela, you're here." He looked somewhat nervous and sorrowful. "I...need to talk to you. Twilight, could you excuse us-"
"You're going to ask to just be friends because you feel your priority right now should be taking care of me, aren't you?" Twilight asked piercingly.
Ratchet winced. "I didn't want to-"
"Talk about it in front of her because you didn't want her to blame herself for us breaking up?" Angela interpreted.
Ratchet face palmed. "And there's reason two. One woman reading me like a book is more than I can take. Two is more than any man should have to deal with!" He grinned at Angela to show he was joking.
Angela smiled. "Actually, it's kind of a relief for me that you've made this decision." She stood up and scratched the back of her head. "I actually came here this morning to tell you that I didn't think things would work out between us because I didn't think either of us were ready for a serious relationship at this point in our lives."
Ratchet smiled sheepishly. "Well, I suppose that at least makes it easy for us to part as friends, right?"
"Yeah, it does," Angela agreed. "But hey, if we're in the same neck of the universe in a decade or so, maybe we could try it again?"
Ratchet's smile became more confident. "I'd like that."
They shook hands happily.
"See you around!" Angela said happily, making her way out.
Ratchet headed into the kitchen to start making breakfast. While he was in there, however, he paused. Taking out a tablet, he made a note to himself.
Identify threat to Lombaxes. Eliminate threat to Lombaxes. Harem get! :D
A hero he may have been. A loving and responsible father as well. But he was also 17.
Later that day, there was another knock on the door. Clank opened it, revealing a suave looking bearded sophont with yellow skin, dressed in a dark brown jacket and blue shirt.
"Clank, baby, there you are!" he said eagerly, shaking Clank's hand. "I've been looking all over for you! Have I got the deal of a lifetime for you!"
Clank stared at him for a time. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe we've met. Who are you?"
"Derek Tovid, biggest director in Solana and Bogon!" the man introduced himself. "My card!" He handed over a business card. "But let's get to business, Clank baby! I want to make you a star!"
"A...star?" Clank asked, surprised.
"What are you talking about?" Ratchet asked curiously. Twilight also walked over, intrigued.
"I've got this brand new holovision series lined up, and it's just perfect for you! Take a look at this!" Derek showed a title card.
"Secret Agent Clank!" he proclaimed proudly. "You, the suave, debonair, super spy versus anything the forces of evil - and the writers imagination and film budget - can throw at you! I'll make you the star everyone wants to see! What do you say?"
Clank thought about it for a time. "Can my friends participate, too?" he asked.
Derek looked over Ratchet. "Hmm...well, I suppose I can work him in somehow. Any super spy needs a staff-"
"Oh! Oh! Me too! Me too!" Twilight squealed, bouncing happily. "I can be the Penny to his Gadget! Or the Jade to his Jackie!"
"The who to what?" Derek asked in confusion.
Twilight sighed. "Old Earth television series. Very successful in their day. Basically, I'm the smart and spunky little girl sidekick who never stays home when she's told, sometimes has to be rescued, but also sometimes bails him out!"
Derek scratched at his beard. "I don't know..."
"It would really bring in the parents-with-kids crowd since it gives the kids someone to identify with," Ratchet pointed out.
Derek shrugged. "We'll give it a reel and see what happens," he allowed.
By the time the pilot episode aired, Secret Agent Clank was the hot new show in Solana and Bogon, and there was a major legal battle between Gadgetron and Holostar Studios over who, exactly, had the rights to make and sell official Twilight Sparkle plushies...although in the holo-films, Twilight's character was called Sparks and wore a rather adorable half-robot mask to imply she was a cyborg filly.
Twilight smiled softly as she channel surfed, listening with half an ear as Ratchet and Clank played some sort of board game that had never caught her interest.
"Ha ha!" Ratchet was saying. "My Blargian Snagglebeast devours your mutant swamp fly!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. Ratchet never was able to keep track of all the intricacies of the rules of this particular game. Twilight herself always kept a rule compendium open when she played against Clank, which was why she wasn't overfond of the game. Clank's computer brain gave him an unfair advantage. Her eyes widened as she gasped happily. "It's on again!" she cried happily.
Maktar Casino 12:31am
Clank faced off against a large yellow robot in a red business suit as he rolled the dice, yielding him further winnings. Several ladybots leaned around Clank, stroking him under the chin and otherwise acting flirtatious with the big winner, one even planting a noisy kiss on his metallic cheek.
The large yellow robot shook some ash from his cigar. "Your luck is extraordinary, sir," he mused. "But do you lose as gracefully as you win?"
"I would not know, Maximilian," Clank replied, putting emphasis on the name. "I never lose."
Maximilian's finger hovered over a red button. "Zere is a first time for everything." He pushed the button dramatically. "Agent Clank!"
Ninja bots armed with double beam sabers dropped from the ceiling as the civilians scattered. Maximilian drew a laser gun and started shooting at Clank, who performed a few ninja flips before using a drink tray to deflect the laser fire into the ninja bots in bullet time. However, one of the ninja bots' beam sabers cut the tray in half as it flew from its grip.
"You lose!" Maximilian proclaimed eagerly as Clank prepared for a new defense, his eyes sweeping around for a weapon. "So much for the famous Secret Agent-"
Maximilian's rant was cut off as the ceiling tile directly above him dropped downward, dropping the chandelier on him and electrocuting him into unconsciousness.
"Shocking," Clank murmured before looking up.
Twilight, in her half robot mask and wearing a cute sweater vest/skirt combo, hung from the ceiling. She chuckled nervously. "Hi Clank!" she said innocently.
Clank folded his arms over his tuxedo. "Sparks..." he scolded.
"I know, I know, too dangerous," Twilight replied, rolling her visible organic eye.
"Oh, I've given up trying to win that argument," Clank chided. "But it is past your bedtime."
"But that's when all the fun stuff happens!" Twilight pouted.
As the scene shifted to outside, Clank held a pouting Twilight towards Ratchet, who was dressed in a valet suit. "Care to explain, Jeeves?"
As Twilight smiled innocently up at Ratchet, he rubbed the back of his head, grinning sheepishly.
"Stay tuned for more Secret Agent Clank!" the TV announcer proclaimed.
"That was quite the episode," Clank commented happily.
"I'd say we all look pretty good there," Ratchet said happily, reaching out to tousle Twilight's mane. He didn't really mind getting sidelined in the show. It kept him out of the limelight - which given the warning Angela didn't know he overheard, was a good thing - and Twilight got to have fun being an HV star. That was just fine by him.
"Yeah, we did," Twilight said happily, going back to channel surfing.
"Don't you like watching it?" Clank asked curiously.
"Yeah, but I want to watch something else-" Twilight's words cut off as she turned to channel 64, and the group found themselves watching an on-site report of an invasion of Veldin by Tyrrhanoids, apparently masterminded by one 'Dr. Nefarious'.
As soon as the broadcast ended, Ratchet got to his feet. "We're going home."
As they worked on Ratchet's new ship - much more streamlined and built for interstellar - and intergalactic - flight, Clank expressed his concerns with the plan of action. "But Veldin is in the Solana Galaxy!" he pointed out.
With a grin, Ratchet pulled out something he'd been working on.
"Is...is that the gravimetric warp drive?" Clank asked in concern.
"The untested gravimetric warp drive?" Twilight added.
"The one you built from Blarghian scrap metal?" Clank fretted.
"The one you didn't let me help with because you wanted to do it yourself?" Twilight concluded as Ratchet threw the device into the back end of the ship for installation.
"You two coming?" he asked.
"We are doomed," Clank concluded as he and Twilight nervously climbed into the ship.
The gravimetric warp drive functioned flawlessly, getting them back to Solana in minutes.
"Woo hoo!" Ratchet yelled out as the ship spun in an aileron roll towards Veldin. "You were saying, you two?"
"I stand corrected," Clank grunted from his upside down position in the copilot's seat.
"Even monkeys fall from trees," Twilight pointed out with a groan. "I didn't want this to be your fall, Daddy."
"Well, we're coming in to Veldin now! Hang on!" Ratchet aimed the ship into the atmosphere.
Once on Veldin, the trio encountered some green armored soldiers.
"These must be the Galactic Rangers!" Clank pointed out.
"Hey look!" one of the Rangers said, pointing to Ratchet. "It's a new sergeant!"
"What?" Ratchet asked, surprised.
"Here Sarge, you can have my gun," the second said quickly, throwing Ratchet a Shock Blaster.
"There's too many of them!" the third shouted. "We're all gonna die!"
As Ratchet led the way forward against the Tyrrhanoids - green skinned aliens with three eyes on stalks, ranging in size from the size of Twilight and Clank to as big - or bigger - than the Rangers, some in battle suits - Twilight looked up at Ratchet as she pulled out some of her heavier firepower weapons, upgraded to latest specifications from Gadgetron based on her contract, including the brand new Nitro Launcher. "These guys seem...highly ineffective. Just who was saving the galaxy before we came along?"
"Captain Qwark," Ratchet replied, blasting several enemies with his new Shock Blaster.
"Ah," Twilight mused, blasting a large group of Tyrrhanoids.
They eventually approached a large attack jet piloted by a larger Tyrrhanoid, keeping two Galactic Rangers pinned down with its weapon fire. "Boy am I glad to see you, Sarge!" the first said.
Before anyone else could say anything, Twilight had blasted the attack vehicle to smithereens. "These weapons you got in Bogon are great, Daddy!" she said happily, cradling the Heavy Bouncer and cooing to it.
"...she scares me," the Ranger said nervously.
"Be glad you aren't her target," Clank teased before chuckling to himself.
After clearing their way through several more waves of Tyrrhanoid attack troops - and assisting several Ranger groups - the trio approached a drop ship. "What's the situation?" Ratchet asked the nearest Ranger.
"The Noids have fallen back to a base in F sector," he replied. "We have orders to go in and take them out."
"F Sector?" the second Ranger demanded fearfully. "Game over! No way man! We're all gonna end up as scrap metal!" He started to walk away.
"Get back in there, trooper!" Ratchet barked out. "We've got a planet to save!"
"Sir yes sir!" the Rangers replied in unison, saluting as the trio boarded the ship.
"When did you get so military, Daddy?" Twilight asked.
"Part of the training I had," he replied.
At F Sector, Ratchet leapt out to free fall along with the Galactic Rangers, counting on Clank's helipack to slow him down once they reached ground level. Twilight, however, folded her wings and dove, picking up speed. Pulling out her new N60 Storm - a new Gadgetron improvement on the old Blasters - she took pot shots at the missiles aimed at the diving Rangers. She then spread her wings turning her downward momentum into forward, pulling out her old bomb glove to drop bombs on the Tyrrhanoids as she flew over them, clearing a path and safe landing for Ratchet and the others. By the time she pulled back to go for a second bombing run, Ratchet and the Rangers had managed to clear out the rest of the Noids, the few dropships having shot each other while trying to shoot Twilight as she sped between them.
Ratchet and Twilight each took a last shot at a Noid assault jet with their heavier weapons, knocking it out of the sky, before approaching the drop ship at the pick up point.
"Sir!" one of the Rangers said with a salute. "We have a transmission from the President!"
The transmission displayed an older male Cazar, a felinoid race somewhat similar to Lombaxes but native to the Solana Galaxy. He had tan skin and a thick dark brown coat covering most of his facial features, and an easy smile. "How are things on the front line, soldier?" he asked, but then gasped. "Is-is that Secret Agent Clank?"
Ratchet rolled his eyes in amusement. "Greetings, sir," Clank offered. "We are here to help."
"Well this is an honor!" he replied. "And I see you brought your major-domo and-" He suddenly gasped. "Sparks! What are you doing on the scene of the battle? Isn't that too dangerous?"
"Probably, President Phyronix," Twilight replied, having recognized him after keeping abreast of politics in Solana to help her get to sleep at nights, since she felt she'd grown too old to need bedtime stories...not that she refused them when Ratchet offered. She then cocked the Heavy Bouncer. "For the Noids."
Phyronix laughed happily. "You got good spunk, kid. You're going to need it." He then turned back to Clank. "Agent Clank, we must stop Doctor Nefarious! As you may know, only one man has ever faced him and survived. I've just received a top secret report on that man's whereabouts. Here, take a look."
The trio watched, somewhat dubious, as a trailer for an episode of "Nature's Mysteries" depicted some sort of large, man shaped monster in the Florana Forests.
"So...we're going to Florana to find this guy?" Twilight asked, uncertainty in her voice.
"I guess so," Ratchet allowed.
"We won't let you down, Mr. President!" Clank assured Phyronix.
With that, the trio returned to their ship, setting course for Planet Florana.
The trio landed easily on Planet Florana, gazing around at the lush, tropical forest and the ancient buildings vaguely visible, braced invitingly over deep swamps filling the air with thick musk. A truly picturesque landscape spread out before them, welcoming them to a new world to explore.
"Gods the stench!" Twilight proclaimed, triggering her O2 mask to filter out the natural scents of the planet, which were truly overpowering to her.
"Yeah, I guess I see what you mean," Ratchet agreed, the scent affecting him as well, though not as strongly. "But this isn't getting us any closer to finding this guy we're supposed to-"
"It's Captain Quark," Twilight replied bluntly.
"What?" Ratchet asked in surprise. "Seriously?"
"President Phyronix said he was the only one to ever face Nefarious and live," Twilight replied. "I did research on the flight here. Why do you think I insisted on installing the galactic net outlet in the ship last time we got it upgraded?"
Ratchet scratched the back of his head. "So...we're tracking down Captain Qwark...gotta admit, I'm not sure how to feel about that."
"Neither am I," Clank agreed.
As the trio made their way across swamp water sections by leaping across wooden platforms - assaulted at regular intervals by large bugs, boomerang wielding natives, and at one point a giant water snake - they each went through their own thoughts regarding the one time hero.
While Ratchet had once absolutely despised Qwark for shattering Twilight's last illusions from her childhood innocence, and had been all too ready to hate him for his plot to use Megacorp as a means to make his heroic return and steal Twilight away. But then Qwark had nearly died, taking what should have been lethal amounts of damage, preventing Ratchet from accidentally killing Twilight. Plainly, there was still a spark of heroism somewhere inside Qwark, some semblance of the good man he presumably was once. Logic dictated that if Twilight had somehow brought that spark out, then she could conceivably nudge that spark into a flame, make Qwark a true hero again...assuming he ever was once. The debate in Ratchet's head now was whether or not it was worth it to risk Twilight's emotional well being on that chance by making her interact with Qwark again after everything he'd put her through. He didn't want to risk her...but at the same time, he knew Twilight would be disappointed in him if he didn't try.
Clank had read up on all of Qwark's exploits, and he was beginning to wonder about the former hero's motivations. His tirade back on Yeedil about how Twilight would be his didn't add up in hindsight. There was something missing from the equation, something that Clank found it difficult to logic out. However, he knew that will they or nill they, they would be spending a protracted amount of time in Qwark's company once they found him. With luck, he'd be able to decipher his motives, and ensure no future difficulties would rise.
Twilight's thoughts turned to that back room she'd followed Qwark into. All those pictures with him standing in the spotlight...alone. How long had it been since Qwark had a meaningful emotional connection with another living being? When was the last time someone had stopped worshiping the ground he walked on - or, as was the case after the Blarghian incident, spitting on it - long enough to ask how he was feeling? Did anyone even know when his birthday was, and give him a thoughtful gift to celebrate?
Realizing that she hadn't seen one picture of Qwark's parents back there, she found herself wondering...did he even know when his birthday was?
When she was very young, she had hero worshiped Qwark like so many others. When she'd actually met him, she had been ecstatic, thinking she'd join his hero team. When he'd betrayed her, she'd been hurt and angry. After Yeedil, she'd been confused and curious. But now, when she actually stopped to think about everything that she had learned...she felt sorry for him. She pitied him.
That smile that had been on his face in every picture she had seen...it felt fake now. Forced. Like a pain had been inside him so deep and so long that he'd forgotten he was hiding it...until he met Twilight. Now...now Twilight wanted to see what a real smile would look like on his face. She didn't know why that feeling was so strong in her, but the idea of making it happen filled her, and her heart felt like it was floating from the strings of 99 pink balloons.
Several ladders, zip lines, and other such obstacles later - many of which Twilight rode out clinging to Clank on Ratchet's back - they arrived at a wide open circular area...and were confronted by a hideous sight.
"Aaah!" Twilight and Ratchet both shouted in fear, reaching for their weapons.
"You trespass on sacred ground," the figure proclaimed in an echoey voice before letting off a hooting laugh. "Now you walk Path of Death!"
When Clank opened his mouth to complain, Twilight shushed him. "It's probably just an obstacle course meant to test us, to prove worthy to be here."
Rolling his eyes, Ratchet led the way in.
Twilight's assessment proved correct. After several platform jumps, dodging a few flamethrowers, fighting a few more of the natives that were under the 'mysterious figure's sway along with some bugs, and dodging a few boulders and wall crushers that could be jumped over, the trio reached a wide open arena, where said figure was waiting for them.
"Can...not...be!" the masked figure whispered in awe.
After a bit of a stare down, a small monkey snatched the mask off the figure, revealing a rather disheveled looking Captain Quark.
With the mask off, Qwark entered a battle stance.
"It appears to be some sort of trial by combat," Clank posited.
Any further speech was cut off as a massive pillar ripped from the wall in a magenta aura, smashing Qwark against the wall.
Ratchet and Clank both turned to stare at Twilight. "What?" she asked reasonably. "He took a full RYNO blast. He can take it." Pulling the pillar away, she revealed that Qwark was still standing. "See?" She then lifted the pillar up before slamming it down on top of him.
The monkey promptly put the mask on Twilight's face.
"I guess that means he thinks you're in charge," Ratchet suggested as Twilight tossed the pillar aside, letting the now tame and obedient, if somewhat feral, Qwark free to hoot and holler as he bounced around Twilight like a monkey.
When they returned to their ship, Twilight pointed imperiously to the back seat. "Sit! Do not move!" She added a few hoots.
Qwark hopped into the back seat and sat politely, the monkey on his shoulder.
"You are throne!" Twilight commanded, climbing into Qwark's lap. Qwark, for his part, looked overjoyed.
Ratchet and Clank then climbed into the pilot and copilot's seats. At that point, the computer indicated an incoming signal. Clank opened the channel.
The transmission displayed a Cazar female of approximately Angela Cross's age, with sharply pointed cat ears, a soft brown coat, bright blue eyes, a slim build, and dressed in a purple Captain's uniform decorated with a red and gold phoenix at the throat.
"This is Captain Sasha of the Starship Phoenix," she formally introduced herself. "The President has asked me to assist you."
"Well, we've managed to recover Captain Qwark," Ratchet explained. "But...he seems to think he's a monkey."
"Of course," Sasha replied, startling a giggle from Twilight. Obviously, she didn't share the President's high opinion of the former hero.
"Twilight has him under her complete control, however," Clank added. "However, we need instructions as far as what to do with him."
"Bring him to the Phoenix," Sasha instructed. "We'll see what we can do. Here's the coordinates." As the coordinates transferred, she concluded her transmission with, "Sasha out."
Inputting the coordinates, Ratchet set the course and took the ship into the sky.
As their space fighter flew in to dock with the Phoenix, Ratchet whistled in appreciation. "This ship is amazing," he marveled as they came in for landing in the docking bay at the rear.
As Twilight guided Qwark easily out of the fighter, Sasha greeted them all from a communications screen. "Welcome aboard the Phoenix, fillies and gentlemen," she greeted warmly.
"Whoa," Ratchet marveled as he took it all in.
"Impressive," Twilight commented as she started making notes on her holo-comp.
"Isn't she?" Sasha added proudly. "The Phoenix is the pride of the Galactic Fleet. She's equipped with the latest technology. Holodeck training suite, auto vendors for armor and weapons, virtual firing range, starfighter upgrade system...even a Gadgetron VG9000 game system!"
"A VG900?" Ratchet whispered, sounding on the verge of religious exultation.
"Of course," Sasha said easily, her smile soft but - to Twilight's eyes - showing a gamer's pride. Apparently, Sasha liked to game to unwind. Useful to know. Her next words confirmed that assessment. "With a Mavex Fireball Pro controller, VR headset, and a zero g dance pad attachment." The emphasis Sasha placed on the last made it plain what her preferred game type was.
"Will you marry me?" Ratchet blurted out, before face palming at how ludicrous it made him sound.
Sasha laughed it off. "You've obviously had an exhausting trip," she offered in a conciliatory manner. "Why don't you stop by your quarters? We've prepared a custom living area for Qwark, so he won't get in your way. Come meet me on the bridge when you're ready."
While Ratchet tried to hide his embarrassment, Twilight called up a different file on her holo-comp. It read Daddy's Harem/Mommy Candidates. Only Angela Cross was written down at the moment, but Twilight added, 'Sasha Phyronix' underneath.
Twilight guided Qwark into the monkey enclosure that had been prepared for him, giving him the order to enter. Once inside, the bars were closed, and she ordered him to relax. Once that was done, she set the mask aside. "I hope we find a way to turn him back to normal soon," she gasped out. "If nothing else, he smelled better before. Before we do anything else, I need a bath!"
"Me too," Ratchet admitted. "Or at least a shower."
Clank nodded. "After Florana, I believe we could all use a good thorough cleaning. I believe there is a chamber off our quarters where I can get an oil bath." With that, he sought out said chamber.
The quarters actually included separate bathing facilities for each of them, although Twilight's was still being customized so the 'bio-waste disposal facilities' could accommodate her equine physiology. The bathing area, however, was already resized to her smaller frame, so she hopped right in.
As she cleaned herself off with half her mind, she called up the Daddy's Harem/Mommy Candidates file and began compiling statistics.
Angela Cross Harem Pros: Is a Lombax Already has a fondness for Daddy Is highly flexible, if clumsy Has already promised to be a harem member, conditionally Harem Cons: Much older than Daddy More educated than Daddy A bit overdramatic Well established in Bogon Mommy Pros: Can talk with her about science without either of us dumbing down Can invent together Mommy Cons: Is awkward with kids Bio specialist Career oriented
Sasha Phyronix Harem Pros: Gamer Tough girl Understanding of awkwardness Number 3 'Hottest Bachelorette in Solana' according to a recent survey Harem Cons: Older than Daddy (?) ...
She paused as she got to there. While she didn't know much else yet about Sasha, it was hard to believe that of all she'd seen, that was the only con she could think of as far as Sasha and Ratchet dating. That was a pretty good sign, as far as she was concerned. She then returned to her data points.
Mommy Pros: Starship Captain (is used to responsibility) Knows how to have fun Well prepared for unexpected situations Knows how to enjoy herself Good sparring partner Mommy Cons: Career oriented More combat than technical focused, according to official bio
Twilight smiled as she finished compiling all this information. Admittedly, the major detail for any of this - Ratchet's actual taste in females - was beyond her knowledge, but she wouldn't be trying to play matchmaker if Ratchet could take care of his own love life. So far, while Angela was a heavy competitor statistically primarily due to being the only female Lombax Ratchet was likely to ever meet - a heavy psychological qualifier - on a purely emotional and practical level, Sasha already had a huge lead, both as a girlfriend for Ratchet and as a Mommy for Twilight herself. However, she knew it would take a great deal more observation and collection of data before she could make any conclusive results.
However, a bit of cultural research did allow her to add one extra detail that added more weight for Sasha.
Harem Pros: Before they reached space age technology, Cazar civilization followed a pride hierarchy, with one male servicing several females in a group relationship. While the custom has fallen out of practice as Cazar's find mates amongst other species in the galaxy, it is still culturally respected as part of their history, and respected in modern times, especially when the male is of exceptional qualifications. Translation: Sasha is culturally conditioned to not have objections to the idea of a harem, or being a part of one.
Twilight grinned as she added that detail. One girl Ratchet liked who had already agreed to be part of the harem, and another he liked who was unlikely to object to him having one, or being part of it if he managed to impress her.
...she was going to have lots of Mommies!
As the trio - now clean, refreshed, and ready to save the galaxy - entered the bridge, they saw Sasha attempting to communicate with someone. "We're losing the signal!" she barked out. "Try boosting the power!"
As one of the Rangers hastened to obey the directive, Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight approached, looking at the screen. "Isn't that the President?" he asked, looking at the main screen.
"They came out of nowhere-" the President was saying, though the signal kept cutting off. "Tyrrhanoid invasion force...Presidential compound has been breached...cannot hold out much longer here-" The signal ceased to be legible.
Sasha had plainly grown more and more concerned as the transmission went on. "Mr. President!" she called out worriedly. "Dad! Are you there?"
"Dad?" Ratchet asked, just before another signal overtook the communications.
The robot in the center of the screen spoke, while the one in the lower corner was apparently translating his speech into some sort of robotic sign language.
"Robotic citizens of the Solana Galaxy!" the blue robot began. "The hour of your liberation is at hand! Too long have we robots suffered under the bigotry, the stupidity, the squishiness and foul stench of organic life forms! Soon all robots will bask in the liberty and equality of my benevolent, iron-fisted rule! And, as for you filthy organic life forms...you can look forward to being disintegrated!" The camera recording the broadcast crashed to the floor as the speaker laughed maniacally. "That's all for now."
"Plot a course for Marcadia!" Sasha ordered as soon as the transmission ended. "Maximum speed. Prepare the dropship for planetary assault!" She turned to Ratchet and the others. "We're going in."
"We'll see you on Marcadia," Ratchet agreed.
"Our ship's engine's faster than what the Phoenix has," Twilight confirmed. "It's an experimental design Daddy just created. We'll be there in minutes! Don't worry!"
As they rushed to their ship, a few other thoughts crossed Twilight's mind. She hadn't realized until that moment that the shared last name between Sasha and the President was more than coincidence. Considering that no one on ship even blinked at her orders, she'd obviously worked hard to establish herself as more than "the President's Daughter". Not only that, seeing her side by side with Ratchet, it was plain that the age difference between them wasn't nearly as large as Twilight had initially concluded. Not only that, how emotional Sasha had gotten out when she'd called out to her father indicated she was a Daddy's Little Girl to a certain extent, much like Twilight herself. And also much like Twilight herself, used to taking care of a single father who was somewhat eccentric and of questionable social competency.
Sorry, Angela, Twilight thought to herself. If Sasha likes Daddy at all, then you've been replaced as primary love interest/Mommy candidate.
As the trio landed on Marcadia, the devastation was obvious. Two Galactic Rangers greeted them upon arrival.
"Glad you made it sir!" the first proclaimed happily. "The Presidential compound is on the other side of the city!"
"Then why didn't we land over there?" Twilight asked Clank.
"Too much enemy fire," Clank explained. "We'd be shot down and crash before we could find a safe landing."
"I suppose so," Twilight replied. "Haven't quite figured out how to apply the Tesla Barrier to the ship."
Clank blinked. "You've been making the attempt? Why?"
"I was bored," Twilight explained.
"Keep your head down!" the Ranger instructed. "The Tyhrranoids are everywhere! Keep your head down!"
"Come on, Twilight," Ratchet instructed. "Let's get blasting."
Grinning, Twilight reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a new shipment from Gadgetron. "I get to test this baby out!" she said eagerly.
"What's that?" Ratchet asked.
"The RY3NO!" Twilight said proudly. "The latest generation of the RYNO weapon system, complete with the auto-upgrade system that the newer generations of weapons have. It's the prototype, and Mr. Fixxit asked me to test it in combat to see how it functioned along the projected upgrade path."
"I am suddenly a lot less worried about fighting the Tyhrranoids," Ratchet replied.
"And I'm suddenly a lot more worried about property damage," Clank replied.
Chuckling, Twilight led the way through the streets, the RY3NO held in her magical grip, speaking her notes to her holo-comp as she moved. "The self-stabilization systems work flawlessly," she noted as she moved. "The smaller number of missiles per launch does allow for greater control, but there appears to be a bug in the targeting system, causing the missiles to lock onto crates as well. Cost-effectiveness becomes a major quandary as a result. Also, having only 25 salvos makes it difficult to maintain sustained usage through a mission. Will continue further notes as the RY3NO upgrades to future levels."
Ratchet glanced from Twilight taking notes to the devastation she had been causing with the weapon. "She considers this inefficient?" he asked in shock.
"That's Twilight for you," Clank admitted as they continued onward.
Their progress through the city was uneventful, although Twilight eventually ran out of ammunition for the RY3NO and had to switch to a different weapon. Before long, they reached a dropship attended by other Galactic Rangers.
"Nice shooting Sir, Ma'am!" he greeted them in a welcoming tone of voice. "A second wave of Tyhrranoids just landed! They're attacking the compound from the other side. We could sure use your help!"
"You got it!" Ratchet confirmed.
"Just let me reload!" Twilight added.
"The dropship's equipped with an ammo synthesizer!" the Ranger pointed out. "You can reload between waves."
Twilight's grin made Clank a bit nervous.
The first assault wave was the Rangers own assault, driving back the Tyhrranoids who had already laid siege. As there weren't any crates to screw up the RY3NO's targeting system, Twilight was able to purge most of them with a few volleys. As others came as Tyhrranoid backup, she and Ratchet fought back to back against the oncoming waves, especially as the RY3NO proved especially effective against Noid dropships.
When a brief break in the battle allowed for a breather, Twilight and Ratchet both took the time to reload.
"Sarge!" a Ranger called out. "We've got aerial assault incoming!"
Grinning, Twilight hauled out some weaponry. "Get back by the gate for shelter, boys!" she ordered, tossing out some Megaturrets from the arsenal she brought from what Ratchet had acquired in Bogon. "You there!" she called, pointing to the most competent looking Ranger and tossing him the Plasma Coil. "Aim for saucers primarily!" She then tossed the Heavy Bouncer to the Ranger next to him. "You focus primarily on laser wielders and larger Noids. Let the Turrets and the mini-bouncers handle the Mininoids. Daddy and I will handle the dropships and any that are outside your range!"
"Sir yes Ma'am!" the Rangers barked, rushing to obey orders.
"And you said I was military," Ratchet teased.
"Hey, I was there for those lessons, too," Twilight replied, sticking out her tongue.
Twilight's strategy worked surprisingly well. With her focused on the dropships and Ratchet thinning the numbers, the Rangers were able to confidently use their borrowed weapons to take down any Noids that got close to them. Twilight's instructions in that regard also conserved ammunition.
Ratchet took control of the Turret to handle the next wave of dropships, while Twilight used her N60 Storm pistols to target the saucers that backed them up. However, the turret took damage during the assault, and needed to be repaired. Twilight used her RY3NO to cover them, and during the assault it upgraded to a V2.
When this happened, she began taking verbal notes to her holo-comp. "The Version 2 shows a marked improvement in damage output, and the increase to 12 missiles per shot greatly increases damage potential. The targeting bug mentioned before has not been corrected, and should certainly be addressed before any models hit the open market. However, the disintegration aspect of the missiles is quite impressive, and the change to energy based projectiles instead of physical ones allows for much greater versatility."
With her notes taken, she continued to obliterate the assaulting troops alongside Ratchet, protecting the repair crew.
When it came time to activate the automated turrets, Twilight's remote manipulation of her Omniwrench proved especially useful. Once all the turrets were active, the Noids were pushed back, making the Presidential Compound once more secure.
President Phyronix came out to thank them personally. "Agent Clank!" he said warmly, shaking Clank's hand. "Wow, you're even more impressive in person than you are on the holovid. And I must say, I've never seen a butler fight like you do, son." He shook Ratchet's hand as well.
Ratchet rolled his eyes. "Well, if I'm supposed to keep 'Sparks' out of trouble, I at least need to be able to keep up with her, right?"
"Too true," the President replied. "Speaking of, Sparks, what happened to your cybernetics?"
Twilight raised an eyebrow at Ratchet and Clank, having a hard time believing she was really being asked this. "...synthoskin," she replied finally. "For when I'm going incognito."
"Well it's damn good quality!" President Phyronix rubbed her cheek. "Feels just like the real deal!" He turned back to Ratchet and Clank, completely missing Twilight's facehoof. "Sasha's told me a lot about you, though." He leaned in close. "Don't get any ideas, kid. She is way out of your league." He missed another roll of Twilight's eyes. "Sasha filled me in on the Qwark situation. I'm told the man thinks he's a monkey?"
"He has lost his memory, sir," Clank explained.
"Well then you'll simply have to find it for him," the President replied.
"I don't suppose you have any suggestions on how to do that?" Twilight asked.
"I'm afraid not, but then again, I'm not a secret agent like Clank," he replied.
Twilight rolled her eyes. Typical politician, she thought to herself. Says "Do this" without bothering to think "how".
"My daughter tells me you're a man who's good with his hands, Ratchet," the President continued.
As Ratchet opened his mouth, Twilight kicked him in the shin before he could insert his foot.
"The city's laser shield went down during the attack, and we are defenseless without it," he continued. "I sent out a repairman to fix it, but he disappeared."
"We'll get the shields back online and find out what happened to him, sir!" Ratchet said quickly.
"Good on you, son! Do me proud!"
Arriving at the laser lab, the trio encountered a new Gadgetron product called a Refractor. "Apparently, this device generates a field that absorbs lasers and redirects them," Clank explained.
"Why does it have to be a gadget?" Twilight complained. "Why not make it an armor attachment that auto-refocuses the laser through line of sight on the helmet?"
Ratchet smirked. "Why not try it and see?"
Twilight's eyes gleamed, and she grinned widely.
Ten minutes later, Twilight had adapted the Refractor into two armor attachment gadgets. It reduced the maximum nanotech by 10%, but the refraction field was constantly generated, and would automatically redirect any laser impacts on line of sight from their helmets.
"Not bad, Twi!" Ratchet said proudly.
Twilight blushed happily, and then led the way through the laser lab.
With the two of them redirecting lasers together, they made it through to the end with ease. They found a surprising figure at the controls. "Al?" Twilight gasped in shock.
"Just a minute, Twilight!" Al called back. "I'm almost at a high score!"
"High score-" Ratchet blinked. "Is that...are you playing an interactive vid-comic on the city's laser defense grid?"
"Impressive, isn't it?" Al bragged. "I simply bypassed the security server with a 626 hex matrix adapter, and reprogrammed the graphic subprocessor."
"However," Clank pointed out, "it appears you have a feedback loop in the induction coils of your DB3 signal processor."
"What?" Al demanded. "Impossible!" He examined the codes and the controls. "I ran a recursive checksum on the signal matrix!"
"Did the recursive checksum take into account the power drain of an active bombardment?" Twilight asked. "Because Marcadia's presently under attack by the Tyhrranoids."
Al's eyes widened. "No, it hadn't taken that level of usage into account. Oh my goodness..." A few quick keystrokes and the city's defense grid was back online. "That was close."
Twilight took a closer look at the vid-comic. "Is...is this about Captain Qwark?"
"Indeed!" Al proclaimed. "It's the first of four issues of a historically accurate interactive graphic novel about Captain Qwark's rise to heroism!"
"That could be what we need to help him regain his memory!" Twilight said happily. "It's compatible with a VG-9000, so we could play it right in front of him!"
"If it'll help Captain Qwark, then take it with my compliments," Al replied, handing the vid-comic over to Twilight.
Taking it carefully, with Marcadia now safe, the trio returned to the Phoenix.
Twilight walked up to the VG-9000, plugging the Qwark vid-comic into the system. "You're the best at platform games, Daddy," she pointed out. "You'd better play."
"Do you really think this will work?" Clank asked. "Do you really think a vid-comic will restore Qwark's memory?"
"Short of finding a spell for it, it's the best bet we have," Twilight explained.
"Don't worry so much, guys," Ratchet said as he took the controller. "Let me show you how it's done."
The trio listened to the intro sequence, and they couldn't help but comment as it went.
"How much of this do you think is really going to be 'real-life'?" Ratchet asked.
"Hopefully enough to jog his memory," Twilight commented dryly.
"We'll find out soon enough," Clank added.
As it went on, Ratchet cracked up. "A magic 8 ball?" he asked, shocked. "Whatever happened to journalistic integrity?"
"Just how magic was the 8 ball?" Twilight asked eagerly.
"Not at all," Clank explained. "They are toys based on physics and probability."
Twilight pouted...but then blinked. "Robotic pirate ghosts? How does that even work?"
"I know," Ratchet agreed. "Unbelieva-"
"I mean, it's theoretically possible to bind an ectoplasmic entity to a physical body, and a robotic one could be crafted specifically to house a given spirit, but the energy requirements to keep the ectoplasm contained without dissolving the shell is prohibitive! How did a pirate captain accomplish it? Especially for an entire crew?"
Ratchet and Clank turned to stare at her, their jaws slack.
"Umm...the gameplay portion's starting," she pointed out.
"Right!" Ratchet said quickly, turning back to the game.
"You...scare me sometimes, Twilight," Clank mentioned.
"Only sometimes?" Twilight asked, smiling with her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, eyes closed for greatest adorability.
"Indeed," Clank agreed. "The rest of the time, you're too cute to be scary."
Twilight giggled.
At Ratchet's request, Clank and Twilight stayed silent while he attempted to play. Admittedly, it had been a while since he'd played a Gamestation, and he'd never actually played on a 9000, or with this controller. As a result, he had some difficulty.
After some time, however, he reached the end and got the results screen. "You're out of practice," Twilight commented. "You didn't even get 100% completion, let alone a record time."
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Ratchet chided. "I suppose you could do better?"
"I'll try on the next one," Twilight replied happily. "There's supposed to be four in this game series."
They then watched the ending segment together.
"Just how many people in the galaxy are named Qwark?" Ratchet asked in disgust as they watched.
"Well, maybe he got better over time?" Twilight suggested nervously. While she couldn't refuse the evidence presented, she found herself wanting to believe the best of Qwark, for some reason.
At that moment, Qwark could be heard talking. "Well," he said, looking in a mirror the monkey on his shoulder was holding up, "who's that handsome devil!"
"Qwark!" Twilight said happily. "It worked! You've got your memory back!"
"Twilight?" Qwark said in surprise, quickly sinking to his knees to be closer to her level. "You're alright? After...after what I did to you, I never got a straight answer from Megacorp about your recovery..."
Twilight smiled. "Yes, I made a full recovery. I...I was a little upset you never came to see me."
Qwark hung his head. "I...I couldn't face you," he admitted. "After everything I'd done to you...first in Solana, and then in Bogon...I couldn't face you. I...I knew Ratchet would take good care of you. I...doubt if you'll ever be able to forgive me...I know I can't forgive myself. When I saw what I did to you...the monster I created from inside you..."
Twilight didn't know why, but she suddenly felt as though she were surrounded by butterflies, their tiny wings brushing her coat. Reaching out, she rested her hoof on his hand. "I do forgive you, Qwark," she said softly.
"You do?" Qwark asked in shock.
"You do?" Ratchet and Clank added together, no less shocked.
"Yes," Twilight replied. "You made many mistakes, with drastic consequences...but...I think I understand, a little bit, why it happened. And...all things considered, I don't think I can blame you. And since you are genuinely sorry - and I can tell you are - how can I not forgive you?"
Qwark sniffled, holding back tears. "Thank you, Twilight. You...you're a better hero than I ever was." He glanced around. "So, uh...why am I behind bars?"
Twilight giggled. "When we found you, you thought you were a monkey."
"Oh, yes. That." Qwark scratched the back of his head. "So, why did you come looking for me?"
"Because we need your help," Twilight began. "You see-"
"I'll brief him, Twilight," Sasha said, coming in. "While he's hearing his new mission and getting back in condition, I need you three to complete another job."
Qwark smiled. "A new threat to the galaxy? And this one we'll face together!" He reached out his closed fist to Twilight. "Like we should have done with Drek."
Smiling, Twilight returned the hoofbump. "See you when we get back!" she replied.
Sasha nodded. "There's a battle arena called Annihilation Nation. A recent prize they're offering for challengers is a Tyhrraguise, which apparently can let anyone disguise themselves as a Tyhrranoid. I need you three to win it, so we can determine if we can use it for future infiltration missions."
"It's based off the old Gadgetron Hologuise, which disguised people as robots," Twilight pointed out. "Making it a prize in the competition is an advertising promotion. It should work."
"In that case, we'll need it," Ratchet pointed out. "We're on our way!"
The trio arrived at Annihilation Nation, Twilight posed a rather important question. "So which of us is going to be running the Death Course?"
Ratchet spun around to face her. "Wait...you want to run the Death Course?" he asked in shock.
"I never said I wanted to," she countered. "But success here is important. We need that Tyhrra-Guise. So who would it be most logical to have enter?"
"You're just a kid, Twilight!" Ratchet pointed out. "Your tenth birthday is a few months from now. Do you really want to risk your life here for somebody's entertainment?"
"Do you think anything this course can throw at me is any more dangerous than what I'm going to face going up against Nefarious?" Twilight countered.
"Honestly, I'd rather you take a support role on the Phoenix," Ratchet refuted.
"And you assume I'd be safe there?" Twilight demanded. "How many times will you thwart him before he attacks the ship? And there I'm limited in space and taking a defensive position. You know I'm better on offense."
"But-"
"Ahem," Clank interrupted. They both turned to him. "Twilight raised an interesting point about who would perform better in the course. Perhaps an analysis of the course and your abilities would do better than this argument?"
"I can accept that," Twilight agreed.
Grunting in resignation, Ratchet leaned against the ship, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Now then, the course is two parts," Clank explained. "One part obstacle course, one part combat. Now, I'm sure we are in agreement that nothing in the combat segment is going to be a serious threat to either of you, correct?" Ratchet and Twilight both nodded. "Then the only matter of course should be the obstacle course...which is a series of platforms over lava, similar to the Path of Death back on Florana."
"The thermals back there were awesome!" Twilight sighed in reminiscence. "I've never flown so well before..."
Ratchet sighed. "Alright. Twilight gets to fly the course," he allowed. "Just go all out for the combat segment."
"I certainly will!" Twilight said happily.
As the cameras panned in, the announcer began his pitch. "Are you ready to play?" he screamed out, to a cheering response. "Alright! Let's meet our first contestant!" More cheers, as Twilight waved to the crowd. "She's Gadgetron's star prodigy inventor, mascot, and adventurer! However, most know her as...Secret Agent Clank's ward Sparks!" The cheers were deafening. "She wants the Tyhrra-Guise to win a costume contest this Halloween!"
"Really?" Ratchet asked Clank.
"It's both more conservative and gets better ratings than 'to save the galaxy'," Clank replied.
"Give a warm welcome to...Twilight Sparkle!" the announcer shouted, to rousing cheers. "Twilight will attempt to be the first contestant ever to survive the Death Course! Contestant number 1, are you ready?!"
"Here I come!" Twilight shouted happily as she faced down the course.
She started off by racing towards the first gap before leaping into the air and spreading her wings. The thermals from both the lava and the flame platforms gave her more than enough lift to clear the gap well out of range of any of the obstacles. She actually had to slip air to enter the gate without crashing into the wall.
"Now hang on!" the announcer began. "Is that legal according to the rules?" There was a turning of pages as the announcer searched the rule book. "Well, it seems flying isn't against the rules, as long as you were born with wings...and according to her paperwork, she was! This is going to be a fast course run, folks!"
Diving through the gate, Twilight threw her Omniwrench out. She'd given it a few upgrades and tweaks, and when thrown in a round arc, it generated a magnetic field that attracted metallic foes, as well as bolts. The floating bots awaiting her smashed into each other as the wrench flew by.
"Someone's in a hurry!" the announcer shouted as Twilight caught her wrench and headed down the next open path.
Racing up to the edge of the platform again, Twilight spread her wings and caught the thermals into the air. The robot at one end of the path tried to shoot her down with his laser, but she was able to easily fly circles around it.
"Look at her go!" the announcer proclaimed. "She should be a stunt flyer with moves like that!"
She stayed airborne as she swooped through the corner into the next flame platform segment. The maneuver sent her straight over the next section of flame platforms to trigger the next switch. She tossed a few bombs from her bomb glove as she swooped in, blasting the bots to bits.
Racing across the next bridge, she used her Plasma Coil to blast the bots backwards while she triggered the next gate. As she raced across the next bridge - leaping from moving segment to moving segment since she didn't have enough room to get lift - the announcer spoke up again. "She could be championship material, folks!"
Grinning widely, she brought her hooves down on the head of the last robot before leaping into the winner's circle, where she acquired the first of two prizes for the Death Course: the second Qwark vid-comic.
As she was brought into the arena - with several groups of robots and other gladiators charging out to meet her - the announcer spoke up. "Now it's time to get down and dirty for a lowdown showdown!"
Twilight blinked. "Uhh...I need an adult," she whimpered.
"I am an adult!" the announcer proclaimed loudly.
Shaking her head in confusion, Twilight pulled out the Plasma Coil, the Heavy Bouncer, the RY3NO v2, her N60 Storms, and her recently upgraded Agents of Doom. She held them all in her telekinesis. "Come on!" she challenged the assaulting gladiators. "If you think you're hard enough!"
She opened fire.
Over the sound of gunfire, the announcer shouted, "Where does she get all these wonderful toys?"
Under the force of the onslaught Twilight was able to bring to bear, the waves of gladiators were mowed down like wheat.
"I don't believe it, folks!" the announcer proclaimed. "She survived the Death Course!" Twilight waved happily. "And here to give her the prize is the lovely Miss Courtney Gears!"
Twilight turned towards the pop starlet who was sashaying towards her.
Courtney Gears threw the small green circle to Twilight casually before walking back off. Curiously, Twilight activated the device, instantly taking the form of a Tyhrranoid.
"Isn't she adorable?" the announcer proclaimed.
Twilight removed it as Ratchet and Clank approached her, just as Sasha called on the vid screen. "How's progress?" she asked.
"Twilight won the Tyhrra-Guise," Clank explained. Twilight held it up proudly.
"And I'm pretty sure Annihilation Nation is going to completely redesign the Death Course so wings and telekinesis don't break the game," Ratchet joked, ruffling her mane.
Sasha chuckled. "She's that good, huh?" she asked. "Maybe my father bet on the wrong horse...er, pony."
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.
"Now that Qwark's back in shape, President Phyronix has put him in charge of the fight against Nefarious," Sasha replied, "and he's called the first team meeting. You'd all better get back to the Phoenix."
As the trio returned to the Phoenix, they were guided to the bridge, where Captain Qwark paced back and forth before his assembled crew. As Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight entered the bridge, he turned towards them. "You're late," he pointed out jokingly.
Ratchet rolled his eyes. "We had to stop so Twilight and Clank could sign autographs," he joked.
"You shouldn't be taking time away from saving the galaxy to do that," Qwark scolded. "Do you want to end up like I was?"
Ratchet's jaw opened and closed like a landed fish. He did not know how to handle self-aware and self-critical Qwark. Though Twilight's giggle was worth the embarrassment.
"Fall in, troops," Qwark ordered. Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight took their place in the lineup between Sasha and the monkey. Qwark then turned to the assembled group. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" he began. "Oh, and Helga," he added when he noticed her glare. "Welcome...to the Q Force."
While Ratchet was unsurprised that Qwark had named the team after himself, he was rather surprised at the total lack of aplomb and self-aggrandizement he said it with. It was almost as if Qwark was taking the matter seriously.
"You have been assembled here because each of you is an expert in your particular fields," Qwark explained. "From Al's mastery of Electronics, to Skid's nerves of steel, to Helga's sensual powers of seduction!" He added a little playful growl at that.
Twilight glanced over, surprised to see so many familiar faces gathered.
"And we can't forget Ratchet's own prior heroic experience in two galaxies," Qwark continued. "And then there's Clank's own unique technical advantages...and my vocabulary isn't big enough to do Twilight's talents justice."
Twilight blushed and hid behind Ratchet as everyone turned to look at her with a smile.
"Each of you has shown that you are worthy - or more than worthy - to wear the Q!" he proclaimed. "Years ago, I did battle against Dr. Nefarious and emerged victorious. But like a rash on the galaxy's back side, he has flared up again."
"I wish he wouldn't use such colorful metaphors in front of Twilight," Ratchet whispered to Clank.
"There are far worse ones he could have used," Clank whispered back as Twilight blushed.
"Our first mission," Qwark continued, choosing to ignore the commentary, "will be to infiltrate the Doctor's top secret base on Planet Aquatos!" Qwark paused. "You have a question, Twilight?"
Twilight lowered her raised hoof. "If it's top secret, how do we know it's there?"
"I follow Nefarious' Hexafeed," Qwark replied. "It's an excellent way to keep track of his activities."
"Hexafeed?" Twilight asked.
"It's like Twitter, but specifically for robots," Clank replied. "But how were you able to become a member, Captain?"
"I am very good at pretending to be a sub-optimal imitation of life," Qwark replied. "At least online. I get treated as obsolete, but I get a few tidbits of useful information on occassion."
"Impressive," Clank replied.
Ratchet had to admit - privately, anyway - that Qwark appeared to have more skill than he'd previously given him credit for. He now found himself actively curious as to what Qwark's assault plan on Aquatos was.
Or he had been, until he saw Qwark haul out the poorly sketched crayon drawings.
"Here is the assault plan," he explained. "First, Ratchet and Clank will descend to the sea floor and wade through a series of tunnels flooded with waist high raw sewage."
"What?" Ratchet demanded in shock.
"Please hold questions until the end of the presentation," Qwark insisted. "After infiltrating the base, our agents will split up. Clank will enter the ventilation system, where he will rendezvous with Twilight Sparkle. Given that she has not yet learned to swim and doesn't do well with water environments, it will be up to agent Skid to make a separate entrance to deliver the pressurized capsule that will deliver her safely to the sea without entering the water. Meanwhile, Ratchet will use the Tyhrra-Guise to infiltrate the base and make his way to Nefarious office. Should he prove successful in making it that far, Skid will meet him on the way to provide him with the Hacker. Should Ratchet meet with any other sort of difficulties, Skid will render whatever aid possible before withdrawing."
"Clank and Twilight will meet him there, having acquired whatever data they can retrieve discreetly from Nefarious computer systems. Ratchet will see to it that Clank and Twilight can exfiltrate the base completely undetected!"
Qwark smiled as the presentation ended. "Any questions?" he asked magnanimously.
"How come you aren't doing anything in this plan?" Ratchet demanded.
"Because Nefarious has a personal grudge against me," Qwark replied. "As long as Nefarious doesn't get word that I'm involved, he'll continue to take his time with his plans, as he is very methodical most of the time. However, once he learns I am involved, he will begin a full scale assault in an attempt to settle his score with me. The longer we can delay that, the more time we have to prepare for the battle against him, and the more information we can gather to prepare." He smiled. "That's why I've asked President Phyronix to let no one outside the Phoenix even know I'm involved in the anti-Nefarious efforts, or that I am even in this galaxy."
"That is a valid point," Clank agreed. Twilight nodded as well, smiling. Nearly everyone else was slackjawed.
Qwark grinned widely. "Very well. If there are no more questions, we shall begin!"
"But...but this plan is crazy!" Ratchet finally blurted.
"But it just might work," Qwark countered. "We're counting on you, Ratchet. I know you won't let us down."
As the trio made their way to the ship, Twilight paused to ask a question that had been preying on her mind. "Captain, how did you come up with such a well thought out plan?"
Qwark smiled easily. "Oh, I'd actually come up with a much simpler plan based solely on some crayon doodles I made when I couldn't focus on my lessons with Al. When I presented it to Skrunch-"
"Skrunch?" Twilight asked.
Qwark gestured to the green clad, one eyed monkey, who bowed to Twilight. "He suggested a few alterations. I incorporated them before the presentation."
Twilight smiled. "Well, it's a good plan," she replied. "See you when we get back!" With that, she leapt into the ship.
"What was that about?" Ratchet asked.
"I wanted to know where he got his plan making skills," Twilight replied.
"And?" Clank inquired.
"The monkey's the brains of the outfit."
"Suddenly, everything seems right in the world," Ratchet joked, taking off.
Partway to Aquatos, the ship phone rang. "Oh no," Ratchet muttered as he saw the caller ID.
"Clank! Bubbi!" Derek Tovid said as he grinned from the view screen. "You and Twilight are killing me!"
"Ex...cuse me?" Clank asked.
"I'm trying to make a picture here," Derek explained, "and my Big-Shot stars are nowhere to be found!"
"If you'll examine page 324, paragraph six, subsection 2 of our contract," Twilight interrupted, "you'll see that filming will sometimes be required to be suspended due to danger to the galaxy...at our discretion."
Derek blinked. "So...this isn't something I can work around with incentives?"
"Afraid not," Twilight replied. "Which really sucks, because I love playing Sparks. But right now, the safety of the galaxy is of paramount importance."
"After all," Clank added, "no one will have time to watch the new holo-vid if Tyhrranoids are burning their homes down and shooting them in the back."
"Huh, that's a good point," Derek replied. "I don't suppose your quest to save the galaxy this time around would have you swinging by Holostar Studios and possibly filming the picture while you're there?"
"We'll let you know if it does," Ratchet spoke up. "But for right now, we need to get to Aquatos."
"Aquatos, huh?" Derek mentioned. "Hmm...underwater would make a nice setting for the next film."
"But...but I can't swim!" Twilight complained.
"Oh, even better!" Derek proclaimed. "We can ladle on the drama as Sparks desperately wants to go help Secret Agent Clank, but can't because she can't handle the water due to a design flaw in her cybernetics...and then she and Jeeves build her a little submarine so she doesn't have to get wet! I think we could get the base product built pretty quick, and then film the two of you putting the finishing touches on it when you're next here!" He clapped his hands eagerly. "Filming genuine inventing would be great for the realism!"
Twilight's grin split her face, and the sparkles of excitement in her eyes lit the canopy.
"Should the opportunity arise, we will definitely be stopping by," Clank promised.
"Thanks, babe!" Derek said happily. "We'll keep the set warmed up for you!"
With that, the connection was cut.
"We're almost at Aquatos," Ratchet commented. "Everyone get ready for aquatic entry.
Once the ship entered the atmosphere, Twilight got into the prepared capsule to be properly placed by Skid as he took a separate path into the base. Ratchet was nervous about leaving Twilight's safety up to Skid - he wasn't exactly reliable, as far as he knew - but Twilight wouldn't let him deviate from the plan.
Before long, Ratchet and Clank bumped into Skid again. "How'd it go?" Ratchet asked worriedly.
"No worries, mate," Skid replied seriously. "The package is wrapped and delivered, this side up! No damage, or your money back, guarantee!"
Ratchet stared at him flat eyed. "Drop the spy speech and just tell me."
"She's perfectly safe and sound, waiting for Clank to unseal the capsule," Skid promised. "She even has a few snacks and a GSM in there with her."
"With the Holo-double-display?" Ratchet asked enviously.
"Eeyup!" Skid replied. "She'll be just fine. And here." He handed over the Hacker. "You'll be needing this."
"Thanks," Ratchet replied, stowing the gadget.
"I'll stick close anyway until you two part ways," Skid pointed out. "Be a distraction for the bad guys."
"Our thanks," Clank replied.
Eventually, the trio reached the point where they were to take their separate paths. "I'll be heading back to the ship now," Skid said regretfully.
"Good work Skid!" Ratchet complimented him. "You did better than I thought you would."
"I had not expected you to be so brave," Clank added.
Skid scratched the back of his head. "Before I closed her up safe and sound, Twi said she believed in me," he replied sheepishly. "I couldn't go and let her down, could I?" With that, he turned and raced for the ship.
"This Twilight girl has a future in politics if she chooses to pursue it," a familiar voice whispered from a metal cylinder with an eye slot.
"Slim Cognito?" Ratchet asked in shock. "What are you doing here?"
"Still modding weapons, as usual," Slim replied. "Didn't expect to see you two again. You sure get around. I take it you saved that Twilight girl you were so worried about last time we met?"
"Yeah, she's alright now," Ratchet replied. "Why are you here in Solana?"
"There was a minor...misunderstanding regarding a Suck Cannon upgrade that was mistakenly sold to a minor," Slim explained evasively. "I swear, the kid looked 18. Anyway, I needed to go someplace less conspicuous to do business, so I set up shop here till the heat blows over. Interested in some mods?"
"Not just now," Ratchet replied. "But we'll be back if we want them."
"Think you could bring Twilight with?" Slim asked. "I did some research about her while I was here, and I think she and I could make some...unique modifications that would be quite the upgrade, know what I'm saying? Think she might be interested in learning a few of my...techniques?"
"As long as you come up with a way to suggest it to sound less creepy," Ratchet said nervously.
"She, too, is a minor, after all," Clank pointed out.
"I'll keep that in mind," Slim replied.
One submarine ride later, and Ratchet and Clank took their separate paths further in.
"Twilight and I will meet you further in," Clank promised.
Nodding, Ratchet activated the Tyhrra-Guise, and the two separated.
Through the vent, it wasn't long before Clank found the capsule and opened it. Twilight smiled as she stowed the GSM away in her bags. "Let's go!" she said eagerly.
"We will need to be at least somewhat cautious," Clank pointed out as Twilight started to pull out one of her weapons. "Destroying everything in our path would draw too much attention."
Twilight pouted as she put the weapons away. "Aww..."
Working together as a team, the pair were able to make their way through the vents easily, with Twilight flying over gaps to activate switches, using her magic to deflect laser blasts from security drones, along with occasional assists as Ratchet got various paths cleared using the Tyhrra-Guise.
Before long, they reached Nefarious' office. "We must work quickly," Clank whispered.
"Right," Twilight agreed, rushing to the computer. Focusing her magic, she cast a duplication spell on the hard drive. "Got it!" she proclaimed, catching the duplicate as it fell. "This has all the information on Nefarious' computer."
"And what about everything that might be on these disks scattered around?" Clank asked.
Twilight quickly duplicated each of the disks and flash drives, putting the copies in her saddle bags. "There. That's everything, and he won't even know we were here."
"Well done, Twi," Ratchet said as he entered the office. "Now let's get out of here." He glanced towards a bookshelf stocked with every episode of Secret Agent Clank - and quite a few Sparks miniatures - and shuddered. "Before Nefarious gets back here and sees his favorite stars waiting for him."
Diving into a nearby pipe, the trio made their way to the sewers.
As they descended into the sewers, Twilight spread her wings while Clank triggered his Wing Pack. The trio then glided to a stop near the exit, where a surprising figure was waiting for them.
"Whoa," Ratchet said as they approached. "Deja Vu."
"It's The Plumber!" Twilight said happily.
The Plumber stood up quickly, bumping his head. "Ow!" He turned around. "Well, it's you three again!" he said happily. "Right on schedule! This here's one of the nastiest, smelliest sewers in the galaxy."
"I noticed," Twilight commented dryly, her O2 mask extended from her helmet to block the stench. "I'm definitely going to need a bath when we get back to the Phoenix..."
The Plumber chuckled. "Most guys wouldn't set foot in a place like this. But me?" He inhaled happily. "Ah, I just can't get enough."
"So...what were you working on?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"Looking for sewer crystals," The Plumber replied, holding out a dark green stone. "Gonna make somethin' special for the Missus."
Clank looked curiously at the Sewer Crystal. "That's...an unusual gem," he commented.
"Oh, that's just what it looks like when harvested," The Plumber replied. He held out his other hand. "This is what they look like if you know how to clean 'em up." He opened his hand.
The stone was much smaller than the raw Sewer Crystal...but it sparkled on every facet and shone with a rainbow of colors. It looked like a successful crossbreeding between a cat's eye and a fire opal.
Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight all gasped in shock. "It's...it's beautiful," Twilight breathed.
"Yeah, but if you don't know exactly what you're doing with cleaning them up, all ya get is stinky dust," The Plumber pointed out. "If'n ya find any in here, I'll pay ya bolts for 'em. 2,000 a piece!"
Twilight blinked. "Can I...take a closer look at that raw stone?" she asked.
"Sure thing," The Plumber replied, holding it out.
Twilight examined the Crystal for a time with her magic, then grinned widely. Closing her eyes, she focused as her horn glowed.
The sewers suddenly echoed with the sounds of shattering crystal and the death screams of King Ameboids. Crystals flew to surround Twilight, held in her magical grip.
"There we go," Twilight said happily. "Every sewer crystal in the entire sewer system that's ready for harvesting. ...101 total."
The Plumber grinned as he accepted the crystals and handed over the promised bolts. "You don't do anything by halves, do you Twilight?"
Twilight grinned widely, shaking her head as the trio headed back to their ship, leaving The Plumber to his polishing.
Upon their return to the Phoenix, the Q Force reassembled on the bridge for Qwark's debriefing. "Well team," he proclaimed, "I believe some congratulations are in order."
Ratchet rolled his eyes, fully expecting Qwark to try and take all the credit.
"I believe the MVP of this mission was definitely Twilight," Qwark continued, "as she was able to acquire the entirety of Nefarious' stored data, which Al is currently decrypting, without leaving a trace of our presence! Let's give her a big hand, everyone!" At that, he began to applaud.
Twilight blushed as the whole team began to applaud. Ratchet raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"Ratchet, Clank, your teamwork at penetrating the base's defenses was superb as you went through the interior corridors, clearing paths for each other as you went," Qwark continued. "And Skidd, you showed courage above and beyond the call, proving your value to the team." More applause greeted. "According to Al, we should have a report on where the Tyhrranoids are coming from within the hour. We will have a plan of assault by then." He raised a hand. "One thing I feel I must point out here. As said before, Nefarious has a personal grudge against me. Now, I know I can't best him alone this time around, since he'll be gunning for me specifically. So, as soon as I make a public appearance fighting him, I will be claiming all credit for our accomplishments specifically to ensure all his attention is focused on me, leaving the rest of you to sneak around behind him and give his backside the Boot of Justice!"
Twilight blinked. "Did...did Qwark just justify being an unbearable show boat in public?" she asked.
"You are not the only one shocked," Clank agreed.
"The plan for the assault on the Tyhrranoids should be ready in 75 minutes," Qwark finished. "Until then, dismissed!"
(1)
As Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight made their way back to their quarters to rest and rejuvenate, Sasha caught up to them. "I was wondering if I could ask you something regarding your report on the Aquatos excursion."
"May I ask why you took that side trip in the sewers?" she asked. "None of you are exactly hurting for money, and I don't see what other purpose you could have in fetching those sewer crystals for...The Plumber?"
"Our actions there were actually two fold," Twilight explained. "First, we've encountered him several times before in our adventures, both here in Solana and in Bogon, and he always seemed to be a little more aware of events than he should be, and seemed to possess abilities not exactly defined by standard physics."
"Like your own abilities, you mean?" Sasha asked.
"Not exactly," Twilight replied. "But we all feel its best to complete whatever side trips he presents. It may prove helpful in the long run, whether it seems to or not."
"Alright, I can accept that," Sasha replied. "I've encountered my own share of 'more than they seem' characters. But why take his money when you don't need it?"
"Fundraising for our friends and allies here on the Phoenix!" Twilight chirped happily, bouncing the bag of bolts as she turned towards the shop terminals.
"Indeed," Clank agreed. "I went through the mission accounts and discovered that the bulk of our official funding went to the Phoenix itself."
"And until the ship is completed, stocked, and staffed, the three of us are the only ones with decent equipment, mostly what we brought with us," Ratchet added disapprovingly. "Even the Rangers assigned to us have only stock gear and training, and probably would have gotten wasted in previous missions if Twilight hadn't lent them some of her weaponry. So we decided to help them out a bit, you know?"
Sasha's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed as she thought through the arguments. "So...any future side missions not directly related to thwarting Dr. Nefarious are essentially going to be resource acquisition runs to support Q-Force?"
"Indubitably!" Clank agreed.
"I'm even going to donate any of my winnings from Annihilation Nation!" Twilight squealed happily.
"Well, that and maybe getting some 'on location footage' for Derek Tovid," Ratchet pointed out as the rest of the team passed by towards their own quarters. "It might be better if Nefarious assumed Clank and his assistants were here as part of his acting career."
"Ooh!" Clank piped up. "I hadn't thought of that!"
Twilight gasped happily. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun! I can whip up a copy of my costume prosthesis rather easily, and Al can help me make it so it stays on and actually functions like a cybernetic enhancement to the naked eye instead of just on camera! Oh, and once Qwark goes public, we can send some of his footage too for his heroic comeback!"
Qwark's eyes widened in surprise. "You...you'd really want me to be a part of your movie career?" he asked, shocked. "Do...do you think your agent will take me on as a client when the time comes? Mine kinda dumped me after the whole Drek contract fiasco."
Ratchet smiled easily. "I'm sure we can work something out. Anyone else want in?"
"You know it, dude!" Skidd proclaimed eagerly. "Don't even need a new agent, though that guy still owes me an apology. 'Celebratory fireworks' my ass..."
"Um...maybe, I guess?" Al offered as he looked up from his decryption work. "I don't know if I'm cut out for film..."
"You'll do fine!" Twilight assured him. "Clank needs a Q type character."
"But I don't have reality warping powers," Al pointed out. "Though those might be cool..."
"It's a spy drama," Twilight pointed out.
"Oh, that Q," Al replied, somewhat disappointed. "Yeah, I can do that."
Helga sighed in exasperation. "Bah! Holovids and glory hounding are vat nearly ruined Keptain Qvark! Still, you three doing okay with films. If the Keptain is in, then so am I...if only to make sure he stays in shape and on track!"
"What about you, Miss Phyronix?" Clank asked. "Do you want to be part of this?"
Sasha looked away, rather flustered. "I don't know...pretty sure I'm not cut out for film...and it wouldn't really be appropriate..."
"Are you kidding?" Twilight demanded. "It'd be great! Not only would it add that touch of realism to the film, it would seem like the entire project is making a holo-vid rather than fighting Nefarious. Since he's such a huge fan, he might even stop fighting so he can go over the script and participate!" She smirked. "Besides, 'out of my league' romance sub-plots are really big right now, and you can't get much more than that than the butler and the starship captain."
"Twilight!" Ratchet complained as Sasha turned away, hiding a blush.
"I'm talking the movie, Daddy!" Twilight pointed out, smiling to herself as she saw the blush. Walking over to the terminals, she chuckled. "You only play a butler, after all."
After an hour spent acquiring new equipment for the Galactic Rangers under their command - including new weapons, better quality armor, and an hours worth of training in a crash course of 'how not to die a screaming coward' - the Q Force gathered on the bridge for the new mission briefing.
"Now that we know where the Tyhrranoids come from," Qwark began, "I have devised a brilliant plan to put a stop to this alien menace once and for all!" He brought out the crayon drawings for the powerpoint presentation. "As the smallest targets with planetary assault experience, Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight will go in first, backed by their new crack unit of Galactic Rangers, code named the Sparkle Squad!"
Twilight groaned and face-hoofed. "Are they really called that?"
"They've even painted their armor lavender with a star insignia," Qwark pointed out, causing Twilight to groan even further. "To avoid damage to the ships, you will all have to free fall down to take out the mortar launchers. Once the path is clear, the rest of us will come in on the dropship. Next, Ratchet, Twilight, Skid and Clank will each take a specially designed assault vehicle to take out the four plasma cannon turrets. Once the turrets have been knocked out, they will join together to spearhead the assault on the Tyhrranoid main base while the Rangers keep the main force distracted outside. That will be when I join in, to annihilate the Tyhrranoid control points, ending the threat once and for all!"
Ratchet smiled. "This is going to be fun."
(1) The majority of this scene (through to the next page break) crafted by - and used with permission from - Tangent, who presented it in a comment as an Alt-script, which I felt had to be canon. The comment can be found here.
The trio flew in onboard their ship into the atmosphere of Tyhrranosis, maintaining a high altitude to stay out of range of the ground based defenses. "Is everyone ready?" Ratchet asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Clank replied nervously.
"Let's do this!" Twilight agreed happily. The four members of the Sparkle Squad sounded off in response.
"Let's waste these 'Noids!" Ironhead proclaimed, smashing his fist into his palm, energizing his shields. He was the team's defensive specialist now, utilizing a Tesla Barrier, a supercharger, and Gadgetron's new holo shield generators to create safe defensive points for the team. He was also the slowest member when not on a vehicle, as he was the most heavily armored, being not unlike a tank. He also carried the medi-units to keep the team up and running, though as a result he carried no weapons beyond his own fists...which were pretty intimidating on their own, considering his servos had been upgraded by Twilight to the point he could pulp steel in his grip.
"I've got them in my sights," Eagle whispered sibilantly, tweaking his gear. Being the long range specialist now, he was very lightly armored and only carried only a pair of N90 Hurricanes and a Splitter Rifle, along with a great deal of backup ammunition. He also had the clearest thought process of the unit, and would be the team spotter when they worked alone.
"Squishy 'Noids go boom-boom!" Boom Boom proclaimed. He was the team's demolitions expert, armed with a Decimator, a Heavy Bouncer, and a Nitro Eruptor. His was evenly balanced between the heavy armor of Ironhead and the light armor of Eagle, but most of his weapons were medium range and could cause a lot of damage. His transmission ended with a mad laugh.
"We're all gonna die...in glory!" Madd proclaimed, first cowardly than crazed. While he'd been the most dedicated to the training, he hadn't been able to overcome his inherent cowardice in a battle situation. Twilight had sympathized with him, and suggested he try pretending to be someone else during combat. Madd had taken it a step further, and downloaded a Klingon personality simulation crafted from Old Earth science fiction. As a result, he now randomly switched between being cowardly and being blood thirsty, though only ever against approved targets. His equipment included a Quantum Whip, an Infecto-Bomb gun, the Tempest, and the Agents of Dread. He tended to charge in screaming war cries as he doled out massive damage before the foe could react, then run screaming as the enemy started to counterattack, leading them straight into where the rest of the team had set up an ambush. He also used an experimental regenerating nanotech armor suit.
Ratchet grinned widely. "Let's go!" he shouted, popping the canopy and triggering the ejection seats. He strapped Clank to his back as the group made their way down in a dive.
The four lavender garbed Rangers leapt out of their dropship to join the dive shortly after, with Twilight swooping to the front of the formation to guide them. Following her movements, all four Rangers evaded the missiles being fired at them from below.
Once they landed, they engaged in combat against unarmored Tyhrranoids, taking them out quickly. Laser wielding mechs came next, but Twilight had equipped all of her unit with the same refractor field upgrade that she and Ratchet were equipped with, so the lasers were more dangerous to the mechs and their allies than to the Rangers.
Larger Tyhrranoids and saucers fell just as easily to the now well trained squad. As they continued to carve their way through, Ratchet turned to Twilight. "Just what sort of training sims did you put these guys through?"
Twilight giggled nervously. "I found this one old game in an ancient game library. I hooked it up to run as a simulation in their positronic brains, matching them to characters from the game that fit their personality...or a blend of characters, as the cases went."
"I'd say it was most effective," Clank commented dryly. "Do we even need to still be here?"
Eventually, they reached the first energy barrier generator. Locking on with the Heavy Bouncer, Boom Boom obliterated the generator with his first shot, as the mini-bouncers released from the first explosion focused on the generator. A second shot took out the power generator for the mortars, leaving the dropship free to come in to drop off the vehicles.
"Nice work, everyone," Sasha stated from the communicators. "I'm coming in on the dropship now."
"And this footage is amazing, people!" Derek proclaimed via remote link. "Thanks so much for bringing me in on this. Secret Agent Clank: Perils of War is going to be a huge hit when we add in the dialogue!"
Four vehicles came off the dropship. One for Ratchet was a standard assault vehicle. Skid came off on a gyroscopic assault craft, rolling around in a wheel with the weaponry on either side of the pilot's seat. Clank's vehicle was a hover unit armed with a bomb launcher. Twilight's was an attachment for her hover board to attach a high grade explosive to her turret as she swung around it.
"Sparkle Squad!" Eagle hissed commandingly. "Watch the bomber's backs, and kick these 'Noids back to where they came from!"
"But this is where they came from, sir," Madd pointed out in his coward voice.
"Then we blow it up!" Boom Boom laughed.
"Try to stay in one piece," Ironhead growled. "I'd like a chance to crush some 'Noids, too."
With that, the four mobile fighters scattered while the Rangers drew attention with their charge towards the main base. With the additional information Al had gotten from Nefarious' computer, they each went after one of the turrets that they could take out without leaving their vehicles.
With all four turrets down, nothing was available to prevent Sasha from flying the dropship in and blasting an entrance to the main base. "Time to finish the job!" she proclaimed over the comms. "Get moving!"
Qwark himself hopped out of the dropship as it flew by to assist. "Let's go, team!" he proclaimed, thrusting his fist into the air, clutching his trusty blaster.
As everyone charged in, Twilight walked in slowly. "So this is the part where Qwark hogs all the glory," she said sadly.
"Well, yeah, that's the plan," Ratchet replied. "So Nefarious will focus on him. It's a good plan."
"Yes, it is," Twilight replied. "Good for the team, and good for the galaxy and the mission...but I'm not so sure it's good for Qwark."
Ratchet and Clank both stared at her. "Explain," Clank finally requested.
"Hogging the glory and mugging for press attention...that's what started Qwark's descent into hedonism before heroism," Twilight pointed out. "What...what if he backslides because of this? He's going to be trying to 'play the role'...but he was the role for so long..."
"We won't let him," Ratchet said firmly. "We'll keep his ego in check."
Twilight smiled. "Thanks, Daddy," she said gratefully, nuzzling him.
Entering the control room, the assault group was confronted by the Tyhrranoid Mother.
"Lock and load, people!" Qwark shouted as he opened fire. The Sparkle Squad, Skidd, Ratchet, and Twilight followed suit.
With the sheer amount of firepower being unloaded, the massive beast did not last long. It was only a matter of time, dodging, and carefully placed shields before the monstrosity fell, and Qwark stepped forward as the press came in to crush one of the eyes beneath his heel.
Darla Gratch rushed up to his side with her mic and camera crew. "Captain Qwark," she said eagerly as she began the interview, "in yet another miraculous comeback, you've defeated the Tyhrranoids in a spectacular battle on their own planet! How do you explain your recent success?"
Mugging for the camera, Qwark went through the speech he'd prepared ahead of time. "Courage...compassion...dashing good looks...iron hard abs!" He grunted out the last part of the sentence as he flexed, Darla rolling her eyes. "Seriously though, to be a true hero of heroes, you need more than loads of charisma and a brilliant tactical mind. I couldn't have done it without..." Here he hesitated, his eyes turning to Twilight.
Smiling, Twilight gave him a nod.
Grinning, Qwark finished his prepared speech. "These massive guns!" he proclaimed, flexing his arms and blowing kisses at his clenched fists.
Ratchet led Twilight back to the dropship. "I don't think we need to worry about Qwark just now," he told her softly.
"Or us!" Madd proclaimed happily. "We can handle the clean up here on the surface! You head back up to the ship!"
Twilight smiled. "You seem a lot more confident now, Madd!"
Madd rubeed the back of his head unit. "Compared to the training you put us through, Sarge...the 'Noids just aren't that scary now I've fought 'em. I'm more afraid of disappointing you."
Twilight smiled. "No chance of that," she reassured him.
"Come on, you guys," Sasha said over the comms. "Head back to the Phoenix. You must have quite the story to tell, so why don't you come back and tell it?"
As Ratchet scratched the back of his head nervously, Twilight grinned. It seemed things were going swimmingly with Miss Phyronix and her Daddy after all...
Twilight sat happily in the main room of the quarters suite she shared with Ratchet and Clank aboard the Phoenix, laying on the couch in the center next to Sasha as Ratchet gave a slightly embellished account of the assault on Tyhrranosis. Skidd sat on one corner of the couch, while Clank took the other corner. To Twilight's eyes, Sasha was eating up the story. Not necessarily because she found this type of story entertaining, though. She'd have to confirm with Clank later, but it looked to Twilight like Sasha simply enjoyed watching the lengths Ratchet went to in his attempts to impress her.
As it got to a rather dramatic point of the retelling, Skidd gasped. "No way...what happened next?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Skidd, you were there," she muttered.
"Oh, right," Skidd chuckled nervously.
A hologram suddenly appeared on the table. "Yes, go on," the bulkier holographic robot - who resembled a butler - commented. "We're all riveted."
Twilight was glad she'd taken to wearing her Sparks prosthetic at all times, just in case something like this would happen. She slipped easily into character. "I could have sworn you were soldered," she joked.
"How amusing," the portly robot commented.
"So, this is the mighty Q Force I've heard so much about," the hologram of Nefarious proclaimed.
"Nope," Twilight quipped. "That's three nodes down. This is the local chapter of the Captain Qwark fan club."
"Lawrence!" the Nefarious hologram proclaimed angrily. "You said you had the right signal!"
"I do sir," Lawrence replied in a long suffering tone. "It's Sparks. I believe she is yanking your power cable."
"Oh, of course!" Nefarious proclaimed. "Clever Sparks, but you won't fool me! It takes more brains than you have to pull the wool over my eyes!"
"How did Captain Qwark sneak into your base without us knowing?" she asked, glancing over the hologram's shoulder.
"Qwaaa-" Nefarious started to scream as he spun around. He then froze, his green dome turning pink.
"Oh Janice," a masculine voice said passionately. "I'll never let you go."
"But Lance, we can't!" a feminine voice replied. "What would our families think?" Kissing sounds could be heard.
"I don't care! I love you so much!"
Shaking his head, Lawrence gave Nefarious a quick smack upside the head.
"-aaark!" Nefarious finished, then blinked. "Where did he go?"
"He was never here, sir," Lawrence groaned out.
"Made you look!" Twilight giggled.
"I am trying to brag about how pathetic you all are compared to me!" Nefarious snapped.
"And I'm trying to keep you distracted as Captain Qwark directed while Al traces your communications signal," Twilight replied happily.
"Guess who succeeded?" Al asked over the PA.
"QWAAAAA-" His circuitry sparked again.
Lawrence shook his head. "Clever girl," he murmured over the soap opera playing from Nefarious before disconnecting the communication.
"Qwark's a better planner than I thought," Sasha muttered.
"And an even better one if this had actually been my idea!" Qwark proclaimed happily.
Sasha stared. "That was a bluff?"
"We are supposed to make Qwark the center of Nefarious' attention," Twilight pointed out.
"And now you know why we don't play poker with her," Clank explained.
"The signal came from a facility on Planet Daxx," Al explained.
"You're going to need some new equipment to handle that place," Sasha explained. "A new gadget just came in from Gadgetron: the Hypershot. It's like a combination of the old Swingshot model and the Megacorp Dynamo. It can activate various devices and attach an energy cable to various hypershot targets, much like the old Swingshot could."
Twilight's eyes lit up. "An energy cable? You know, there's this idea I've had ever since I first saw the Swingshot. Can you provide me a pair of swingshots, two swing targets, and one drag target?"
Sasha frowned, scratching her chin. "I think we can provide those from the nano-manufacture plants. But why?"
Twilight's grin was infectious. "Just watch me work!"
Half an hour later, Twilight tossed a modified Swingshot to Ratchet. "Put this on, Daddy!"
Shrugging, he did so. "What about this part?" he asked, gesturing to the cord and sensor dangling off the wrist strap.
"Hook that to your belt where you have the Tyhrra-Guise," Twilight explained as she did the same with hers.
Shrugging, Ratchet did so.
Twilight then aimed her Swingshot at Ratchet and triggered it. The energy cable locked onto Ratchet's Swingshot and dragged her to him. "It works!" she yelled happily. "Ever since back at the fitness course on Metropolis when we had to wall jump, I'd been thinking of ways we could keep up with each other through areas where it's easier for one of us to traverse than the other!"
"Excellent!" Ratchet said proudly. "What happens if you lock onto me while swinging, though?"
Grinning, Twilight activated the spare swing target. "Try locking onto me!" she proclaimed as she swung from the swing target.
Shrugging, Ratchet did so. "Whoa!" he shouted as he found himself swinging on an extended cable from Twilight as she swung.
"Just as I designed!" Twilight proclaimed happily. "This is going to be so fun!"
Sasha shook her head ruefully. "Quite a handful, isn't she?"
"Oh, she's easy enough to manage when she's inventing," Ratchet joked.
"It's the rest of the time that she's impossible to control," Clank explained.
As the trio landed on the planet Daxx, Big Al contacted them over the communicator. "From what I've been able to pick up, there are two high security computer terminals in that facility," he explained. "One in the facility itself, and one out among the islands."
"I guess we're splitting up again," Ratchet mused. "Don't want to risk missing anything by getting there too late and some self destruct protocol on the data kicking in."
"An excellent idea," Clank agreed. "Who will take which path?"
"I'll take the islands," Twilight affirmed. "That's going to involve a lot of aerial maneuvering with the Hypershot. With the two of you, one wrong step or angle and you fall to watery deaths." She flared her wings. "I have a backup in case that happens."
"So we get the heavily defended interior," Ratchet joked. "Great."
"We shall endeavor to make it through as best we can," Clank agreed.
"Good luck!" Twilight called as she turned. "Be careful!"
"You too!" Ratchet replied as they took their separate path.
Twilight made her way into the islands, leaping from platform to platform, using her Hypershot both to swing and energize platforms. She glanced around as she went. "Huh," she muttered as she approached a large gap. I'd think the path would be guarded by more than just natural hazards."
As she cleared the gap, a gunship came out of nowhere and opened fire, targeting the platforms she was walking on.
"Eeeyaugh!" she yelped, rushing down the path. "I guess it is better defended than I thought!" Once she made it off the breakable metal platforms, the gunship pulled away. "...I'm going to be facing off against that thing a lot on my way through, aren't I?" she grumbled.
Spreading her wings, she flapped her way up a wall jump slot, reaching a higher level. Once there, she glanced across a gap spanned by swing targets and Hypershot platforms. "More metal fan platforms," she muttered as she saw what was on the other side. "I'm going to have to move fast." Sighing, she made her way across.
As soon as she was on the metal fan platforms, she started running, as the gunship warped in again to attack. "Teleporting?" she complained, swinging to the next group of platforms. "Where did they get that tech?"
Swinging across a few more metal platforms, she reached another solid platform, and the gunship vanished. "I'm getting sick and tired of that thing," she growled, priming her RY3NO V3.
When she crossed to the next segment of metallic platforms, the gunship appeared again, but it was out of range. "Get back here and fight!" she yelled angrily as it continued to stay just out of range, making her pursue it as she evaded the missiles.
This time when she reached a solid ground platform, the gunship continued to fire on her, but still out of weapon range. Screaming in frustration, Twilight leapt across the next series of platforms until she reached a weapons vendor. When she did, the gunship vanished again, and she growled. "That's it!" she snapped. "Next time you appear, I blast you if I have to swing you around in my telekinesis and wreck the base!" She swung across a pair of swing targets to a wide platform.
When she landed, the gunship warped in...this time in range. "You're going down!" she snarled, unloading her RY3NO at it.
The gunship hadn't been prepared for the force of the onslaught, and was soon obliterated. "Ha!" Twilight proclaimed angrily. "Take that!"
Stepping into the lab that the gunship had been guarding, Twilight found the walls plastered with posters of Courtney Gears. "So, is Nefarious just obsessed with media stars in general?" she wondered. Approaching the computer, she began analyzing the data in the computer, and found a music video that Nefarious had apparently been editing for Miss Gears. Curious, she played it.
Twilight tilted her head as the video ended. "...I don't know whether to be more upset about Courtney trying to stir up a robotic rebellion...or the fact that that is apparently considered music! Ugh!" Growling in frustration, she copied the file to take with back to meet up with Ratchet and Clank.
On returning to the ship, Twilight saw that Ratchet and Clank both looked rather upset. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"Well, we got in," Ratchet admitted. "But..."
"Nefarious was able to delete nearly all relevant data," Clank admitted. "All we were able to determine was that Dr. Nefarious is building a weapon called the Bio-Bliterator, and that a supply transport recently went to somewhere in the Obani Moons system."
"Yeah...that's really not enough to go on for anything," Twilight admitted. "I got a pretty good lead, though!"
"Oh?" Clank asked curiously.
"Nefarious was editing a...music video...for Courtney Gears," Twilight explained. "Though I hesitate to call it music."
"Well, Courtney Gears isn't the number one pop star in the galaxy for her singing," Ratchet joked.
"I noticed," Twilight explained flatly. "Anyway, the lyrics seemed to be aimed towards stirring up some sort of robot rebellion across the galaxy."
Clank tilted his head. "You think Dr. Nefarious and Courtney Gears are working together?"
"It's highly likely," Twilight agreed. "I was thinking we could find an opportunity to grill her for information."
"Well, she presents grand prizes at Annihilation Nation," Ratchet pointed out. "You're already a champion there. Why not ace a few more easy courses and talk to her there?"
Twilight blushed. "M-me?" she gasped. "But...but I hate public speaking! How am I supposed to talk to a celebrity in front of thousands of people?"
"Pretend she is in her underwear?" Clank offered.
Twilight glanced at some of the music video footage. "You mean she isn't?"
Ratchet laughed. "Twilight, you are a celebrity...and a much bigger one than her. You're a hover board champion, a galactic hero, a Nobel Peace Prize of Conservation winner, and a holo-vid super star. She should be the one nervous about talking to you!"
Twilight blushed, this time in embarrassment. "But...but I'm just a kid..."
"Which means your star is still rising," Clank pointed out. "Hers is reaching the end of its limelight, however, if I'm not mistaken."
Twilight lowered her head. "Well...I suppose I could give it a try. I'll...I'll run a few other courses before going after a grand prize, though. Just to get my nerves out."
A plan of action in mind, the trio got back into their ship and set course for Annihilation Nation.
Ratchet and Clank sat back and watched as Twilight went through the challenges at Annihilation Nation to calm her nerves before challenging the Gauntlet that would let her meet Courtney Gears again. While Ratchet had been nervous the first time Twilight had entered the arena, he wasn't worried in the slightest now. It was literally impossible for Twilight to lose the obstacle courses, as the blade bots and the laser or mace wielding automatons couldn't get close enough to her without being smashed or exploded, and the rest of the course used so much heat that she could easily fly over the entire thing. Apparently, the makers of the challenges had no idea how to handle a sophont born with wings.
The arena challenges were even easier for her. On weapon cycling challenges, Twilight went nuts with her guns and other equipment, blasting away her enemies. She never actually took a hit in the arena - mostly because she was too small a target for the robots to lock onto easily and had too much firepower - so the challenges where she couldn't take damage were easy as well. When the sleep gas was utilized, Twilight just activated the O2 mask part of her helmet...which left the arena promoters feeling really stupid as it wasn't against the rules. The specific weapon challenges proved more difficult for Twilight, as she'd never mastered ammo conservation, but she managed to clear them as well. When she first realized she was running low on ammo in the challenge, she began dodging between the targets, making them destroy each other.
Even the fights against the massive enemies proved simple for her. Since there weren't any limits on strategies with them, she took her fight to the skies. On the Terrible Two, she took out the one who went up into the air first before bombarding the one remaining on the ground from out of range. As the one who went airborne first was the one with the rockets, this left the other completely helpless. Taking to the air also put her out of range of any of Scorpio's attacks, rendering him not even a threat.
After a time, Twilight came back out to check the challenge lists. "Alright, what else is there...?" She scanned the list of open challenges, her eyes flicking past the championship match to meet Courtney Gears.
"Well, you could take the challenge to meet Courtney Gears now," Clank offered.
"I could...or I could see if there are any other challenges I haven't done yet!" Twilight said, scanning through them.
"Twilight, you've completed them all already," Ratchet pointed out. "Even the Qwarktastic Challenge they let you take special because the audience was demanding it. Heck, even the special 'Clean as the Captain' challenge by completing it without getting hit! There's nothing else left to do!"
"Not true!" Twilight countered, her eyes flicking back and forth. "I could...do some of those challenges over again to make more money for the Galactic Rangers! That'll be fun!"
Ratchet and Clank stared at her. "Twilight," Clank began, "are you deliberately delaying meeting with Courtney Gears?"
Twilight glanced away. "...no..." she mumbled unconvincingly.
"Why?" Ratchet asked.
Twilight scuffed her hoof on the metal floor. "...I'm afraid I'm going to make a fool of myself, the way I have every other time I've spoken on camera without a script," she muttered.
"Then why not make yourself a script?" Clank offered.
"...because I have no idea what Courtney's going to say..."
Ratchet thought for a time, then grinned. "Then forget about the cameras."
"Huh?" Twilight asked in confusion.
"Indeed," Clank agreed. "Don't speak in public. Just talk to Courtney."
"But...but she's a celebrity!" Twilight countered.
"So is Captain Qwark, but you don't have any trouble talking to him," Ratchet pointed out.
"Well, yeah," Twilight admitted. "But he's an idiot."
Ratchet and Clank both smirked at her.
It took a few moments for it to click. "Oh." She grinned sheepishly. "Silly me." Turning, she entered the challenge.
After easily clearing the obstacle course portion of the challenge, Twilight entered the arena. "Alright!" she said eagerly. "What have you got for me this time?"
"Well, Miss Sparkle," the announcer began, "you've easily cleared through every single challenge we've thrown at you. If you keep this up, we'll have to shut down! So we've come up with an extra special challenge for you..."
"Oh?" Twilight asked eagerly.
The gates of the arena opened. Out came the sword wielding grunts, the mace wielding bots, and the laser hand bots. Twilight did her best to count, and came up with around 100 enemies total.
"Here's our special challenge for you, Twilight!" the announcer proclaimed. "Defeat all these enemies...without dealing or receiving damage...in under 5 minutes!" The crowd oohed in appreciation.
"Wait, what?" Twilight shouted in desperation.
"Starting...now!"
As the timer started to tick downwards, Twilight glanced back and forth amongst the enemies in a panic. How was she supposed to-
An idea formed in her mind, like a light bulb over her head. The whole point was to make the targets attack each other...
Focusing her magic, she released a ball of light into the air. It floated above the arena, and she floated up beneath it to stand on a hard light platform she made with her magic. The sphere began to pulse like a strobe. It then began to release a riot of color patterns like a Disco ball.
All the combatants froze up as the hypnotic effects of the lights and music took hold. Twilight, for her part, began to dance on the platform. This wasn't a dance about expressing herself, however. That was too destructive. No, this was a dance about controlling others. She began her careful movements aboard the platform.
As she swayed back and forth, walking forward and back on all fours, the other arena combatants swayed into place in a circle around the platform. They swayed their arms in time to the movements of her forelegs. The ones who had legs moved them in echo of the movements of her hind legs. The robots with weapon arms swung them in time to her wings.
As the music played, she went into a spin, flaring her wings. The blade wielding grunts flipped onto their backs, doing a break dance spin. The robots spun with their weapons, the laser hand bots firing their lasers horizontally, destroying all the robots.
Seeing this, and feeling the magic start to lose its power, Twilight stood up on her hind legs and began a swaying trot forward. The sword wielding grunts moved forward, tightening the circle until there wasn't much space remaining between them. As the last of the song's lyrics began, Twilight made her move.
"Every-" She threw back her head, making her mane flare backwards. The grunts mimicked her actions, sending their helmets flying.
"-body-" She lowered her right front hoof. The grunts lowered their shields.
"-dance-" She brought her left front hoof to her right front hoof. The grunts brought the hilts of their swords against their shields.
"-now!" She brought her left front hoof up in the classic disco pose. Mimicking her actions, the grunts threw their hands up...impaling their blades in the skulls of their neighbor all around the circle.
The grunts slowly fell over backwards. Twilight stood on the slowly lowering magic platform, her wings mantled angelically around her, her forelegs spread low and wide as though she were curtsying. The platform reached the floor of the arena just as the music ended and the ball of light faded.
As the music came to an end, Twilight pulled out her 'gadget ideas' tablet. Using its built in data scanner, she uploaded the spell formula she'd used. Find a way to bind the spell to an object, she noted. Perhaps an actual levitating disco ball. Works on the same princible as the holographic disguise devices, but works by directly manipulating the subjects muscle control. However, direct control as I used it would be impossible for a device to handle all on its own. Perhaps just cause uncontrollable dancing?
Her notes were interrupted as the announcer began speaking again. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I've never seen a performance like this before! Twilight's Dance of Death has brought her foes to their knees - and backs - before her! Unbelievable! All hail the reigning champion of Annihilation Nation...Twilight Sparkle!"
Twilight blushed, waving to the cameras as the audience cheered.
"She'll take home a rare first edition Qwark video comic!" the announcer proclaimed. "And here to present her with the grand prize, the incredible, incomparable, intalented-" Twilight suppressed a snort "-Courtney Gears!"
Twilight watched as Courtney walked up, displaying the vid comic. She walked with a practiced sway of her hips, plainly designed to draw the eyes to her appealing specifications, as Ratchet had commented on previously.
Then it hit Twilight. Practiced. Courtney Gears wasn't just a celebrity. She had practiced her walk and dance moves to get where she was. She had trained. She had worked for it, in her own way. She wasn't just a celebrity. She was also a person. Twilight found herself smiling, deciding to take Clank's advice, and talk to the person.
Courtney Gears smiled as she knelt down beside Twilight, presenting the game to her. "My, my, Sparks...you're even more adorable in person the you are on the Holo," she said softly.
Twilight chuckled, stowing the game away. She was still wearing her Sparks prosthetic, so she looked like her character. And it seemed Courtney was a fan. She'd learned a bit how to handle fans.
"And far more graceful," Courtney continued. "With dance moves like that, I should see about getting you in one of my videos."
Twilight couldn't stop herself from blushing. Dancing...in one of those music videos? Trying to be...provocative? "I'll t-think about it," she stammered.
Courtney Gears chuckled. "Oh, you are just too cute! Say...do you think you could introduce me to your guardian, Secret Agent Clank? I'd love to meet him."
Twilight relaxed easily. She actually believed the things in the holo films were real, too? Like the Galactic President and Dr. Nefarious? Ratchet had apparently hit the nail on the head by comparing her to Qwark. However, it opened the door for a way to get the info they needed, and get some new gear while preparing a few contingencies. "I think I can do one better," she replied. "How would you like to star as the lovely Baroness in the next film?"
Courtney gasped happily. "Oh, I'd do anything to be in one of those films. Can you really manage it?"
Twilight grinned widely. "Well...Clank does need a few new leads in the Nefarious investigation...and a few clues point to you maybe knowing more than you let on. Think you could pass those details on to Clank after filming?"
Courtney chuckled. "It'd be a pleasure," she breathed eagerly.
"See you at Holostar Studios, then!" Twilight said happily as the filming ended.
Back on the ship, Twilight placed a private call. "Derek? Can you make a place in the next Clank holo for Courtney Gears?"
"The Courtney Gears?" Derek asked in shock. "I thought I'd have to kill to get her scheduled, even to play the lead!"
"Well, I've got her," Twilight replied, "and we're on our way to film it."
"In the middle of saving the galaxy?" Derek asked, confused. Then his expression turned sly. "Oh, I see. This is part of the mission?"
Twilight grinned. "You catch on quick, Mr. Tovid. Speaking of...I'm going to need a stunt double for Clank."
Derek tilted his head in confusion, but nodded in agreement.
As the trio arrived at Holostar Studios, they scattered to do the work they needed to do in order to prepare for the movie they would be filming. Ratchet went to get his costume and go over his lines. Clank shifted to his Agent attire while discussing with the writers the changes to the script for the inclusion of Courtney Gears. Twilight went straight to Derek to discuss the various technical aspects of this filming, and her special requests. Courtney Gears arrived soon after, and began being prepped for her role as the Baroness. Luckily for Derek, the entirety of the role was looking pretty, posing provocatively, letting out the occasional scream on command, and swooning when Clank rescued her...well within the pop star's abilities.
With all the preparations complete, the filming began.
"Jeeves, activate the cloaking device," Clank ordered as they rode in their prop car against the moving sky background.
"With pleasure sir!" Ratchet agreed, saluting. He pressed a button. "Now you see us-"
The machinery started to rev up, then sparked and fizzled as a panel popped open. "Heh. Oops," Twilight said, her prosthetic sparking along with the circuitry she was trapped in.
"Sparks!" Clank scolded as he disentangled her. "What are you doing in the cloaking device circuitry?"
Twilight chuckled sheepishly. "Trying to be invisible?" she offered.
At that moment, the circuitry sparked brightly as Clank and Twilight were ejected from the passenger seat.
"Sir! Miss Sparks!" Ratchet called out, managing to stay in character.
"I will keep track of Sparks!" Clank called back as he activated his propeller, getting enough lift to keep both himself and Sparks in camera view in front of the moving sky background. "With the cloaking device disabled, I would have to airdrop in anyway. Get it fixed and pick us up on our way out!"
"Sir!" Ratchet agreed with another salute.
"And cut!" Derek said. "Well done you three. Nice improv when the ejector seat went off like that. No idea why that happened. The tech boys will give the car a once over."
"I'll help!" Ratchet said quickly, unwilling to admit that he had pressed the wrong button...again.
"Sure thing! We don't need you for these next few scenes anyway," Derek replied easily. "Let's set up the next scene, people!" He rubbed his chin. "Pity about the chase scene, though..."
"Maybe Clank can ride me in pursuit of Maximilian?" Twilight offered. "My wings can support me in flight, and he's small enough to strap to my back now that I've gotten a bit bigger."
"Perfecto!" Derek proclaimed. "Let's get a few shots of you in flight, and we'll see how much traffic we need you to dodge through!"
Grinning, Twilight spread her wings and began flying around the studio. While she wasn't that fast when she had to power with her wings in dead air, she was quite maneuverable.
"Excellent!" Derek applauded. "We'll do some work with that later! In the meantime, let's get to the next stage!"
In filming the next scene, Clank made his way through a bar scene and across cars floating up and down to simulate leaping across cars in rush hour traffic. After clearing two groups of ninja minions - which weren't nearly as big or as deadly off camera - he freed 'Sparks' from a tangle she'd gotten into on 'landing'.
"Guess I got a little tied up?" she offered nervously.
Clank sighed, shaking his head, every inch the frustrated guardian. "Just stay close to me, and do as I say."
'Sparks' saluted eagerly. "Sir!"
The rest of the scene went in much the same way their cooperative venture in the vents of Nefarious' Aquatos Base had gone, though much simpler as it was all for a movie. One thing Twilight discovered that she especially liked was that her prosthetic had the same command circuitry that allowed Clank to control Gadgebots, letting her do so as well. She was limited to the same four basic commands that Clank had, but it was still fun.
Once they were clear of the tail end of the ground chase scene, Derek called, "Cut! I love it, people! Sparks, you're free to head over for that scene we talked about regarding building your own submersible gear. Clank, time for the giant monster battle!"
Twilight got back to the set in the background - after finishing filming her own scene of building herself an aqua-pack that was attached to her armor unit - just in time to see Courtney Gears zap Clank, activating his communicator as he shut down.
"What is it?" Nefarious' voice could be heard from the comscreen.
"I have a present for you, snoogy-woogums," Courtney said to the screen, pitching her voice and posing her body seductively.
Nefarious let out a frustrated, growling scream. "I've told you to stop calling me that!" he snapped. "Just bring me Agent Clank!"
"Of course, darling!" Courtney said happily, fluttering her eyelashes.
As the com screen closed, Twilight pressed a button on a remote, and Courtney froze in electro-stasis. "So that's it," she mumbled. "She's working for Nefarious because she's smitten with him." She sighed. "So much for anything ethical we could do to make her switch sides. Then again, even if Clank finds her sexy, the relationship wouldn't last long with 4.5 standard deviations of programmed IQ difference between them. Derek! Is everything ready!"
"Ready and waiting!" Derek called out. "Wonder if this will work for real as well as it did on set?"
Twilight grinned widely as she attached something she'd gotten from Courtney's dressing room to Clank, making the appropriate circuitry connections. "Flawlessly," she confirmed.
"...where am I?" Clank asked as he slowly awoke. "Is someone there?" he asked as he struggled to focus his optics. "I seem to-"
"Yes, Clank!" Nefarious said eagerly. "it is an honor to finally make your acquaintance! I have been following your exploits ever since your first mission, when you defeated the mind stealing snot beasts from Dimension X!"
Clank attempted to explain Nefarious' logical fallacy to him, but Nefarious was blinded by his insanity and ambition, and offered Clank the choice of joining Nefarious in conquest, or joining his 'Squishy' friends in oblivion. Clank was left only able to watch as Nefarious attempted his plan, and saw the trick he had lain.
He hoped his processor was up to the trick Twilight had prepared.
When the Tyhrranoids attacked the studio, Ratchet's first thought was to get to Twilight to make sure she was alright. With that thought firmly in mind, he drew his weapons and began blasting his way through. After fighting his way all the way through the studio from the trailers to where the ship was parked, he encountered Twilight and Clank. "You two okay?" he asked eagerly.
"Yeah, we're just fine," Twilight replied. "I pulled a wing muscle during that last scene, and Clank took me to see a masseuse."
"I had to stay with her," Clank added awkwardly.
"Alright," Ratchet agreed. "That is a good point. But did you at least manage to get any info out of Courtney Gears about Dr. Nefarious?"
"Dr. Nefarious is aboard a star cruiser called...the Leviathan," Clank replied, his voice pausing every so often.
"We can ask Sasha to track it down," Twilight pointed out. "In the meantime, we can pursue that lead about the Obani Moons system you picked up on Daxx."
"Great thinking, Twilight," Ratchet agreed. "I'll send the message and set a course."
As Ratchet turned back to the ship and Clank watched, Twilight grinned widely. Clank was having some slight difficulties, but that was to be anticipated. However, the 'target audience' wasn't exactly sophisticated.
She couldn't wait to reveal the ace up her sleeve this time around. It was going to be so much fun.
When the trio first arrived in the Obani Moons system on the first of the Gemini Moons, they discovered that the satellite network - which would have told them everything they needed to know about the freighter they knew had passed through - had been disabled and in need of repair. Thankfully, said repair only required redirecting the laser communication network between the satellites, which was both easy and safe despite the many enemies that attacked them, due to the Refractor circuitry being built into their armor.
"Great thinking with this design, Twi!" Ratchet said happily. "Makes the laser work a lot smoother."
Twilight giggled happily, pleased with herself.
Twilight found part of the job rather enjoyable. The jump pads used to access the floating platforms sent her flying much higher than Ratchet, and she always went up it with a loud, "Yahoooo~!" Ratchet would merely roll his eyes at this, letting her have her fun.
Once the laser network was finished, an energy field fell, opening a teleporter to the second of the Gemini Moons.
On the second moon, there were more enemies and a great many jump pads. The small stun bots were easily dealt with using a single strike from any weapon, or even a backwing from Twilight. The soldier type robots were tougher, but not by much, and still went down easily. The flying robots with arm mounted auto-plasma-cannons, however, were much more difficult to deal with, especially as there was little warning before they showed up and began to fire. After the first one kept them pinned down for an entire volley before it had to reload, Twilight got frustrated and took them out with her RY3NO.
This was enough nanotech acquired to upgrade the weapon to the Rynocerator. After one test fire shot of the weapon, Twilight began her report on it.
"RY3NO version 5, aka the Rynocerator, is the stupidest 'upgrade' I have ever seen!" she complained into the recorder. "Rather than a weapon with multiple shots to take out a large number of targets, it is now a barely controlled wave of destructive force that does a set amount of damage. Anything that can be taken out with that amount of damage is instantly vaporized. Anything that can't be destroyed by that amount, however, is unharmed unless the energy is shot through them before the explosion goes off! Not only that, the wave is directional, and doesn't go past the original weapon, so enemies who are behind the user or out of sight are unharmed. The Rynocerator is a serious downgrade from the RY3NO V4, and I strongly recommend that this model be scrapped, and funding put towards a new style of RYNO, one that does not become a useless pile of overpriced scrap once fully upgraded!"
After taking a deep breath, she continued. "Note to self: prune all RY3NO audio reports to be professional before sending them off to Gadgetron HQ."(1)
Ratchet stared at her. "Remind me not to buy a RY3NO," he murmured.
Meanwhile, at a presently unknown location, Nefarious whistled in appreciation. "Sparks has quite a fire in her, and an inventor's passion for a well made machine. I had not expected that. A true child genius, as well as a cybernetic star." He glanced at her bio. "Hmm...nearly 11 years old...well, I can be patient-"
From his place in his cage, Clank grabbed hold of the bars. "You keep your dirty metal claws away from her!" he snarled, his voice synthesizer sparking and erroring as it tried to convey the full force of his rage.
Nefarious blinked, turning to face him. "Well now, Agent Clank," he said softly, approaching the cage, "I truly never expected such passion from you...let alone on behalf of a half-squishy..." He leaned over. "But then again, she is your ward-"
Despite the electrical field keeping Clank contained, his right hand seized Nefarious by the throat and slammed his face against the cage. "Harm one hair or circuit on her, and I will kill you...even if I have to make you choke to death on my last functioning servo to do so." Clank's voice was absolutely calm, no visible emotion in it...but his eyes were narrowed to crimson slits that bored into Nefarious' mind like a demon reaching from hell to tear what was left of his soul to pieces.
Nefarious stared into those eyes for as long as he could without breaking...exactly 0.68 seconds. He then turned away. "Duly noted," he whimpered.
Clank released him, his right arm scorched from the electricity till it was barely functional, dropping limp at his side as he sat back.
Nefarious quickly scooted back to his chair as he struggled to get himself under control.
"A fair warning," Clank then said, before Nefarious completely recovered his calm. "Should you ignore my words, I will not be the only one hunting you."
"Y-you think I fear the squishies?" Nefarious stammered defensively.
Clank said nothing for a time. However, as Nefarious turned back to the screen, he answered, "You should."
Before long, Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight reached the end of the available paths, coming to a stop at a massive locked generator powering an Omega Class disintegration field that had Obani Draco completely sealed off.
"Cover me!" Skidd shouted as he charged in from out of nowhere. He promptly tripped over an uneven floor tile. "Man down!" he screamed in panic.
Twilight did her best not to giggle as Ratchet shook his head. "It's alright Skidd," he assured him. "Fight's over."
Skidd nodded, deciding to neither feign bravado or reveal cowardice as he stood and brushed himself off. "Sorry I'm late. I encountered...heavy resistance."
At this, Twilight snorted in amusement. "At the drive thru?" she asked, gesturing to the ketchup stain on his uniform and the 'Galaxy Burger' wrapper stuck to the bottom of his shoe.
Skidd blushed brightly. "So...what's the situation?"
"We need to find some way to unseal this," Twilight stated, gesturing to the massive barrier before them. "If we can disable the generator, the field will drop."
"I'll take care of it!" Skidd proclaimed. "Got just the right equipment with me!" He pulled out a crowbar. "Might take me a while, though."
"Take your time, but stay hidden," Ratchet instructed. "We never know when-"
"Sarge! Come in Sarge!" an urgent communication interrupted.
Clank opened the comm, revealing Ironhead on the other end. "Sarge, we have a problem here on Blackwater City," he explained. "The 'Noids are coming in hot. Nothing we couldn't handle normally...but we've got civilians caught in the crossfire. We have to choose between taking out the 'Noids or protecting the civs. We've set up a protected base, but the 'Noids have called in backup. We need back up to take out the 'Noids before the heavy artillery gets here!"
"We're on our way, Ironhead!" Twilight replied quickly. "Hang on till we get there! That's an order!"
"Sir, yes Ma'am!" Ironhead replied, saluting. The communication cut out.
"Let's go!" Ratchet said, heading for the warp pad nearby for the quick path back to the ship.
Once at Blackwater City, Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight air dropped in to where the Sparkle Squad had set up, quickly coming to their aid to push the 'Noids back.
"Nice timing, Sarge," Eagle said softly. "With you here, we can show these 'Noids what for."
"And what five, too!" Boom Boom proclaimed before laughing maniacally.
"Right!" Twilight agreed. "My RY3NO has recently become useless, so we're going to need to be more careful with our weapons and ammo."
"Leeeeroy~ Jeeeeenkins!" Madd shouted out as he charged across the bridge.
"...or not," Twilight allowed.
The bridge was cleared rapidly, and after that a few well launched explosives from Boom Boom took out the 'Noid base defense turrets. Eagle was able to take out the saucers and dropships before they could be a problem. With the city secure, Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight made their way back to the ship.
On the ship, a message had been left from Skidd, informing them that Courtney Gears had been witnessed at the generator on Obani Gemini II. It also stated that the disintegration field was down. However, the message was cut off half way through.
"That's not a good sign," Twilight worried as Ratchet punched in the coordinates for Obani Draco.
The inside of Obani Draco was reminiscent of the ventilation shafts back on Gemlik, where they had to cross through various chambers at odd gravitational angles while hazardous liquids raised and lowered. This was made much easier than it had been back then, first by Ratchet's Magnegrind Boots - which functioned so well with magnetized surfaces, amongst others, that the planned Gravity Boots gadget had been canceled as being obsolete - and Twilight's flight. The circular passages with partially electrified walls proved even less of a challenge for the group.
It wasn't long before the trio reached the center of the moon base. "This is the testing laboratory for the Bio-bliterator," Clank explained.
"Let's see what Nefarious has been up to," Ratchet said, playing the security camera feed.
The group stared in shock as the video showed Skidd getting converted into a robot by a ray gun.
"They turned Skidd into a robot?" Ratchet asked in disbelief. "That's...impossible!"
"Not necessarily," Twilight countered. "In theory, there is no measurable difference between biological brain wave activity and that of a positronic brain. The only real difficulty would be the encoding process, which had never been perfected. The problem had always been the brainwaves resisting the transfer, but converting the physical body into a robotic one and the physical brain into a positronic one at the same time, encoding DNA and brain wave patterns into data simultaneously would step over that issue. From the looks of it, he's using a massive energy source to stabilize the conversion process and utilizing a basic control program to suppress the personality matrix until the adjustment is complete, which would prevent the expected conversion trauma. That's actually rather brilliant!"
Ratchet and Clank stared at Twilight, their jaws hanging.
Their jaws weren't the only ones hanging, though the only ones there. "Did...did she just completely reverse engineer the theory behind my Bio-bliterator just from seeing it used once?" Nefarious demanded breathlessly.
"It...does seem that way, sir," Lawrence replied gently.
"Are...are you a little frightened of her now, too?" Nefarious asked nervously.
"Lubricating my pants in terror, sir," Lawrence replied with his normal calm, cool, collected voice.
"Don't be afraid Ratchet," Courtney Gears' voice echoed through the testing lab. "The transformation doesn't hurt...much-"
"Actually, given the control program, even if the transformation does hurt, the memory of the pain would be completely suppressed, and could then easily be deleted to avoid trauma-"
"Don't you ever shut up?" Courtney demanded.
"Only after I've tracked down the self destruct device Nefarious planted on you to keep you from spilling the beans on him once you realized he'd been using you," Twilight replied. There was a click over the comms as an innocuous device disconnected from Courtney's back. "Done."
"You...you're kidding," Courtney replied. "My Neffy-weffy would never do that to me..." She tried to sound certain, but her voice quavered.
"But you doubt," Twilight replied. "It's far too believable that Nefarious was using you. You've read and watched too many dramas - holo or otherwise - to not imagine the evil genius using and casting aside the lovely damsel with connections, her being little more than a tool and toy, to use and discard...and destroy if you became a liability."
There was silence for a time. "...if I turn myself in and tell you everything I know...can you..."
"I've got some pull," Twilight replied. "It'll be easy for me to tell the higher ups that you were actually a double agent working for our side all along, and I can keep you safe from Nefarious trying to get revenge on you. Just head back to Holostar. Derek has a safehouse already prepared."
"Alright," Courtney replied. "Thanks, Sparks." The communication ended.
"Wow," Ratchet said into the silence. "I...never imagined Nefarious would go that far."
Twilight was silent. "Let's get Skidd back to the Phoenix," she said quietly. "Al might be able to figure out how the Bio-bliterator works by examining Skidd, and figure out how to reverse it."
As they headed back to the ship, Twilight teleported the device she'd remotely removed from Courtney Gears to herself. Courtney really was as dumb as they came as far as pop stars went. Nefarious wasn't smart enough to think to do something like this to keep Courtney from talking, no matter how believable it was for him to have done so.
Which was why Twilight had put the 'explosive' on Courtney herself back on Holostar. Courtney never even noticed the Holostar Logo on the device.
(1) Before anyone says anything about my representation of the Rynocerator here, it is based in my personal experience using the weapon in the PS2 version. Please no 'corrections' based on anything they did with it in the PS3 version, or your own experience. I'm just using Twilight here to vent my own frustrations with the 'upgrade'.
Unfortunately, despite managing to flip her, Courtney Gears didn't actually know anything about Nefarious' plans that was of any use. This, unfortunately, proved Twilight's assertion that Courtney had been disposable to Nefarious, which left the pop star in a rather deep depression. Fortunately, Sasha was able to track down the Leviathan to Zeldrin Starport. Ratchet, Clank, Twilight, Qwark, and Skrunch had been dispatched to the location to deal with Nefarious once and for all.
"Does anyone else feel like this is a trap?" Twilight asked as the ship came in for landing.
"Of course it's a trap," Ratchet confirmed. "But that's the thing about an ambush style trap; the ambusher only has an advantage over the ambushee if they don't know about the ambush. Otherwise, the advantage goes the other way."
"Said advantage being the element of surprise," Clank explained.
"And possibly improper grammar?" Twilight teased.
"Shut up!" Ratchet complained. The trio laughed happily.
Once they landed, Qwark and Skrunch were plainly visible by their ship. "There's the Captain!" Twilight called out, pointing him out. The trio rushed over to him.
The Captain and his simian compatriot seemed to be in the middle of a heated debate. Skrunch started off by chirping and squeaking a rather vociferous complaint.
"I thought we agreed to put that jungle business behind us," Qwark groaned.
Skrunch countered with a vitriolic string of complaining sounds, possibly including a few monkey curse words.
"It was mating season!" Qwark defended himself. "How was I supposed to know she was your sister?" He then noticed Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight standing nearby. He chuckled and stammered nervously. "How long have you three been standing there?"
"Too long," Clank muttered.
"Was she a hot monkey?" Twilight asked.
"Twilight!" Ratchet demanded in shock.
"What?" Twilight asked. "Skrunch obviously has a fully developed language, since Qwark can understand him. He has a full range of fully developed emotions, since he's getting protective of his sister and upset over whatever happened between her and Qwark. He can use tools, he can fill out a tax form, and he can hold down a job. By all traditional definitions, he is a sophont, as is every member of his species, since Skrunch is not the result of genetic modification. Qwark dating Skrunch's sister is no different then if he were to date...Sasha. Or Helga."
Ratchet, Clank, and Skrunch all stared at her. Qwark scratched the back of his head. "Huh. I never thought about it like that," he admitted.
"But...but Skrunch is so tiny as compared to Qwark!" Ratchet complained.
Twilight shrugged. "So maybe his sister likes 'em big."
"Mk-kwak!" Skrunch complained, covering his ears and proceeding to make noises that didn't need to be translated to be recognized as, "I'm not listening! La La La La La La La La La La La!"
"Of course," Twilight allowed, "that's assuming Qwark is in proportion to himself..."
"...ouch," Qwark said slowly.
"Captain, do you require some Aloe Vera?" Clank asked.
"Nope," Qwark whimpered. "I'm good."
"Can we go before my mind is broken any further?" Ratchet begged.
"Right!" Qwark proclaimed as Twilight giggled. "Stop lollygagging and let's get to work!" He gestured behind him to a shuttle that was space-camo black and otherwise unmarked. "We'll use this shuttle to infiltrate the star cruiser completely undetected. Once onboard, we find Nefarious and finish the job."
"And when Nefarious springs the inevitable trap?" Twilight asked.
"We break it, and if dealing with Nefarious is impossible, steal anything that isn't nailed down," Qwark replied. "And anything we can pry up before the inevitable self destruct system goes off. Are you ready?"
Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight all saluted. "Sir, yes sir!"
"But only if Daddy drives and I get shotgun for once!" Twilight called out.
"Dammit!" Qwark snapped.
Once onboard the Leviathan, the group split up to make their way as quietly as they could through the ship. At first, it looked like they'd be stuck fighting their way through a massive force, but Twilight's HUD told her that each of them could be destroyed by the destruction wave of the Rynocerator. As long as she had it, she decided to make use of it. Positioning herself carefully near the roof, she fired one shot, clearing the entire first floor. A quick flight and a second shot cleared out the second floor. "Alright, the path to the elevator's clear," Twilight said into the comms.
The group made their way to the elevator to the bridge, riding it upward, the entire group ready for the trap.
"Come in, gentlemen," Lawrence greeted them. "We've been expecting you." He then turned to the captain's chair. "The riff raff have arrived, sir."
Nefarious spun around to face the group. "Captain Qwark! You've put on a bit of weight since last we met."
"Yeah?" Qwark countered back. "Well Courtney Gears didn't seem to mind!"
"Anymore than Skrunch's sister!" Twilight added with a giggle.
"We're supposed to be taunting the bad guy," Qwark hissed as Nefarious burst into gales of laughter.
"Oops," Twilight replied impishly.
"I was going to say that I would have the last laugh," Nefarious said as he got his breath back, "but I think I just had it! And now that I've lured you here, I will bear witness to your demise!" He tried to laugh, but wheezed. "Hurts to laugh," he choked out before pressing a button.
"Auto-destruct initiated," the ship's computer stated. "Prepare to die."
"I'd laugh more now, but I'm laughed out," Nefarious wheezed. "Teleport us out of here, Lawrence."
"Of course sir," Lawrence replied, triggering their teleporter as they both warped away.
Twilight rushed forward into the wake of the beam, energizing her horn. "Not so fast, you-" Orange light flared along her horn, and she let out a scream of pain before slumping over.
"Twilight!" Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark all called out, rushing to her side.
"Tried to...track the teleportation...with my magic...and reverse it...if I could..." Twilight gasped out. "They must have...saw it coming...left a trap for me..."
"Get her back to the shuttle!" Qwark ordered. "I'll meet you there as soon as I've raided Nefarious' files! I won't take long!"
Nodding, Ratchet, Clank, and Skrunch scooped Twilight up and raced back for the shuttle.
Using the Charge Boots he'd picked up back on Daxx in conjunction with Clank's Wing Pack, Ratchet was able to get the entire group back to the shuttle in 20 seconds.
"Forty seconds to detonation," the ship proclaimed.
"Clank, exactly how long will it take the shuttle to get clear of the explosion?" Ratchet asked as he belted the groggy, near unconscious Twilight in.
"15 seconds from the moment you press the button, bare minimum," Clank replied.
"...tell me the instant the detonation clock hits 16," Ratchet said, resting his hand on the launch switch.
"Oo-oo-mkak!" Skrunch complained.
"I can't give Qwark any longer than that!" Ratchet snapped. "We all know if it came down to him or Twilight, he'd choose Twilight." He stared at the button. "He already made that choice once." He turned to the ramp, hoping Qwark would make it.
"20..." Clank began worriedly. "19...18...17...16..."
Closing his eyes in pain, Ratchet pushed the button, launching the shuttle...leaving Qwark to his death.
As the ship returned to the Phoenix, Sasha, Helga, and Al awaited the return of the expedition group with bated breath. Ratchet climbed down from the ship slowly, gently setting the still unsteady Twilight down on her hooves. She spread her wings slightly to keep herself stable while Clank and Skrunch got down.
As they approached, Sasha ran forward, grabbed Ratchet by his ears, and planted a firm kiss right on his lips. "I-" she began when she broke the kiss, before seeming to come back to herself as she realized where she was and what she'd just done. "Well, we are all very glad that you made it back safely," she finished, plainly trying to deflect any inquiries regarding her personal pleasure at the return into group dialogue.
"Not...all of us," Ratchet said sorrowfully. "Were there...any other craft leaving the Leviathan?" he pleaded, hoping against hope that Qwark had somehow survived.
Sasha hung her head sadly. "I'm sorry Ratchet," she replied sadly. "We detected nothing." Seeing Ratchet glance guiltily at his hands, she rested her hand on his shoulder. "We heard the whole thing over the comm link," she told him. "You had no choice. You...made the right call."
Ratchet continued to stare at his hand. "Does that...make this any easier to live with?" he asked softly. "Knowing I made the choice...that cost Captain Qwark his life?"
Sasha shook her head. "Nothing makes living with those choices easier," she pointed out. "But...it helps to remember who forced those choices on you. Remember who created this situation. Remember what still needs to be done. And..." Her eyes trailed over to where Twilight was struggling to wipe her eyes. "Remember who still needs you."
Turning to Twilight, Ratchet nodded. He couldn't fall apart now. He had to stay strong. Taking a deep breath, he got his emotions under control. "Thanks," he said sincerely, managing to smile for Sasha.
She smiled back, then turned towards the bridge. "We've...prepared a funeral for him. It...it would be good if you could...say a few words."
Ratchet nodded. "...I'll try."
The funeral was calm, quiet, emotional, and reserved. It was also a military funeral, focused on inspiring those left behind. They'd even chained up robo-Skidd on the bridge to hear the speeches. Al had been first to speak, though all he was able to do was list off facts from Captain Qwark's bio. It was up to each listener to decide if it was because that was all he knew or if it was all he could process emotionally.
Skrunch had also given a deep, emotional, moving speech that tugged at the heartstrings and warmed the soul...but he was the only one present who spoke monkey.
Helga's speech was quite emotional, as she reminisced about happy times working with Qwark. "Und ve vould frolic in the fitness course until ze wee hours of the morning!" she managed through her tears before Ratchet was forced to gently push her aside before she short circuited herself.
Stepping up to the podium, Ratchet opened his mouth to give a speech about how heroic, brave, noble Qwark was...and paused. He knew that was the speech that everyone wanted to hear, the speech they needed to hear. But at the same time, towards the end, Qwark had been surprisingly honest about himself, both with himself and others. It felt like giving such a speech would be...betraying the man Qwark had been in the process of becoming, the man he died to be.
Ratchet closed his mouth, lowering his eyes. When he raised his head, he spoke as he felt that man would have spoken.
"Qwark was no hero," he began firmly, causing many a gasp, including one he did not hear from a distant location that was also listening in, and had been gloating up until that point. "He was a liar, an arrogant blowhard, a self-centered idiot, with a streak of vanity as wide as his much vaunted shoulders. He only cared about himself and how people saw him, and thought little of stepping on people to be what he wanted to be. This is the man Qwark was...but heroes are not born."
Every ear was craned to his words in confusion now. "Qwark wanted to be a hero. He pushed himself physically to be as strong and fast as powerful as he could be, so he could protect people, become a shield. However, at the same time, he was cowardly, unable to face up against true threats on his own. Fear gnawed at his soul, and turned him from a hero into a bully. This is the man Qwark was turned into...but heroes are not made."
At this point, even Ratchet wasn't sure where his words were coming from, but he knew he couldn't stop. He had to say them all. He had to speak for Qwark, say the words he would have said if he was here to say them, to Speak for the Dead. "But he faced down all of that, and when faced with the truth of who he had become, he chose to change that. On Planet Yeedil in the Bogon Galaxy, he made the choice to throw his life away on the chance he could save one he had greatly wronged." He glanced towards Twilight, who was now sniffling quietly, but managing to smile through her tears. "He survived that day, but he came out from it changed. He had cast aside his arrogance, his self-centered identity, his vanity, his ego. He had embraced his flaws, and was working to turn them into strengths. And at the last, he risked his life in the hopes of giving us one last advantage over Nefarious, who threatens the peace of the galaxy still. He died a hero's death, as the man he chose to be...because heroes are chosen."
The words swelled within him now, from the part of his heart that burned brightly when the Galactic Rangers looked to him for guidance, when Twilight looked to him for comfort, and when civilians looked to him for salvation. "Heroes are chosen. Whether by gods, or fate, or the needs of the galaxy, individuals are chosen to become more than an individual, to become the hero that the galaxy needs...but only if, in the depths of their hearts, they can choose to do so. Qwark chose, and was chosen. When Clank first crash landed on Veldin, Twilight and I were chosen...and in the end, we chose to act. And now, Qwark has chosen all of us." He looked from one face full of rapt attention to the next. "He gave us his symbol!" He pointed to the Q on his own uniform. "He chose us to be the heroes that Sollana needs! What will you choose?"
Twilight was the first to step forward. "For Qwark!" she proclaimed proudly.
"For Qwark!" Sasha added, saluting.
"For Qvark!" Helga proclaimed through her tears.
"Mk-mqwak!" Skrunch proclaimed.
"For the Captain!" Al added.
"For Qwark!" the Galactic Rangers said in unison.
There was a crash as robo-Skidd burst from his chains, smashing a clenched fist into a metallic palm. "Tear Nefarious limb for robotic limb and feed him his own servos!" he proclaimed, the synthetic quality of his voice failing to hide his genuine rage. "For Qwark!"
Everyone stared. "Did..." Ratchet began. "Did I just break Skidd free of robotic mind control...with an inspirational speech?"
"It...it sure seems that way," Al replied, checking the data his scanners were giving him on Skidd.
"You said heroes are chosen, Ratchet," Sasha pointed out. "And Qwark chose you to take over in his place should anything happen to him." She smiled proudly up at him. "He chose well."
In another location, unknown to those aboard the Phoenix, a certain robotic villain who had been prepared to gloat over the fall of his nemesis was instead bawling his optics out, much to the embarrassment of his butler and prisoner. "No~ho-ho-ho!" Nefarious wailed. "Why did Qwark have to die?"
"But...you killed him, sir," Lawrence pointed out.
"I kno-ho-ho-ow!" Nefarious wailed. "I feel so horrible!"
"But...he was your nemesis," Clank added.
"And absolutely horrible to you through your schooling years and your first conflict with him, sir," Lawrence elaborated.
"And now he's gone!" Nefarious bawled. "And it's all my fault! QWAAAAA-"
His circuitry sparked as it always did when he shouted Qwark's name thusly. However, unlike every other time, the listeners were not regaled with the sound of old space soap operas. Instead, the mournful tones of a bagpipe dirge regaled them. Lawrence was frozen in shock, unwilling to bring himself to interrupt the tribute.
"-AAARRRRRK!" Nefarious finished as the music ended, falling back into his chair to continue to cry. After a time, he regained control of himself. "Well, Qwark seems to have inspired his Q-Force to come against me," he said softly. "As my nemesis, I suppose I owe it to him and his memory...to give them a battle they will never forget!" His laugh was once more maniacal. "At least...one the survivors won't forget."
Much later, Ratchet was in the combat simulator, venting the emotional turmoil inside of him by taking his Omniwrench to as many mass-produced holo-bots as he could handle. Although he knew it wasn't healthy, he let his rage drive his strikes, visualizing Nefarious' head on each bot as he smashed it to bits. However, letting his rage drive him was rapidly wearing him down, as well as weakening his reflexes and acrobatics. At one stumble, one of the robots lunged up as per programming to attack him.
At the last moment, a beam of purple energy bisected the bot. "This isn't exactly healthy," Sasha scolded as she leaned over, helping him back to his feet.
Ratchet shrugged as he stood up. "Better then smashing things in front of Twilight. She's with Al going over the data on robo-Skidd, trying to see if Skidd breaking free of the mental control is a good sign as far as reversing the process."
Sasha nodded. "Last I saw, Al'd left her playing the Qwark vid-comics. Guess she's trying to deal with her grief in her own way."
"Could be," Ratchet admitted. Then he whistled. "Nice weapon!"
"Oh this?" Sasha asked, holding up the double bladed energy saber. "Just a standard issue Cazar beam saber. Nothing special."
"The standard issue sabers have only one blade," Ratchet pointed out. "And they don't come in purple."
Sasha grinned in embarrassment. "I may have...tweaked it a bit."
Ratchet grinned widely. "You don't say? Well, let's see how it holds up."
Both of them then began carving their way through more holo-bots. However, now that it was a competition, Ratchet was able to let go of his rage and really show his stuff. Despite this, Sasha was able to keep up quite easily, and her beam saber was at least as effective as Ratchet's upgraded Omniwrench.
Just as they were both getting into it, however, Twilight burst in. "Dad! Captain Sasha! I know where Nefarious is going next!"
"You do?" Sasha asked quickly. "Where? And how do you know?" She, like Ratchet, struggled to hide her annoyance that their 'exercise' had been interrupted.
"Psychology!" Twilight proclaimed. "This all began between Nefarious and Qwark when Qwark stopped Nefarious from destroying Metropolis. Now that Qwark's...well, anyway, now Nefarious would feel compelled to prove himself to have truly beaten Qwark by succeeding in what Qwark stopped him from doing all those years ago!"
"It's as good a lead as any," Ratchet confirmed. "Clank, Twilight and I will head there and check it out."
"The Phoenix will be right behind you," Sasha promised. Once Twilight had left the room, however, Sasha ducked up beside Ratchet and planted a light peck on his cheek. "Good luck, and stay safe," she said simply before rushing to the bridge.
Ratchet stood there befuddled for a time, then shook himself before rushing for his ship before Twilight took off without him.
As they came in for a landing on Planet Metropolis, the invasion had already begun. Tyhrranoids were racing around everywhere, and ships flew back and forth dog fighting. Explosions echoed nearby.
"It's already started," Ratchet said in shock. "We'd better stick together. Dr. Nefarious has gotta be around here somewhere...and I'm not losing anyone else. Stay close, Twilight."
"Yes, Daddy," Twilight replied, priming her weapons, along with a new one.
Ratchet glanced over. "That looks a bit like the Rynocerator."
"I made some tweaks," Twilight replied. "Instead of firing out all those energy beams to create an explosion, each energy beam now seeks out an individual target. It takes a bit to rev up before firing, but each beam should have a great deal of destructive capacity behind it." She leveled it towards the invasion force. "Lets see what this...RYNO IV can do, shall we?" She held down the trigger.
There was a brief, high pitched whine...and seconds later, half the weapon's ammo was depleted...along with half of the invasion force.
Twilight's eyes went wide, and she quickly hid the weapon behind her back. "Not sending these plans in to Gadgetron," she whimpered. "In fact, I'm going to destroy the prototype, split the holo-file of the plans into 13 pieces, and use a random scatter teleport spell to scatter the pieces throughout a completely different galaxy."
Ratchet stared. "...not a bad idea."
Elsewhere in Metropolis, Nefarious was staring at the vid screen in horror. "L-Lawrence?" he stammered.
"Fresh trousers, sir?" Lawrence offered nervously.
"Indeed," Nefarious replied. "And fire up the Bio-bliterator immediately...just as soon as she's destroyed that weapon and scattered the blueprints."
"Agreed, sir. That delay would be most wise. No need to give her a reason to keep it intact."
With so much of the invasion force obliterated, Ratchet and the others had a clear path through a good portion of the city. This gave Twilight plenty of time to obliterate the RYNO IV down to the subatomic level. It took her a bit longer, as she rode on Ratchet's shoulders, to set up the tele-scatter spell for the 13 segments of the plans...and to make sure that only all together would the plans allow anyone to reproduce the entire weapon with how she fragmented the data.
Once the plans were scattered and lost to the ether, Twilight sighed in relief, hopping back down to the ground. "Well, that's a load off my mind."
At that moment, a massive orange and grey sphere rose up to float above the city. "Is...is that the Bio-bliterator?" Ratchet asked.
"In all likelihood," Clank pointed out.
As it charged up, Ratchet quickly pulled the trio behind a wall as Twilight threw up a magical barrier. A wave of energy washed over the planet from the device, turning all organic beings it touched into machines. However, the wave wasn't able to penetrate Twilight's magic.
Staring out at what had happened - and at the large number of robo-Tyhrranoids now in their path - Ratchet swallowed convulsively. "Say, Twilight...out of curiosity, how long would it take you to recover those plans? Or rebuild it from scratch?"
"...about a year," Twilight offered worriedly.
"Kinda figured," Ratchet allowed. Sighing, he primed his weapons. "Well, let's see what we can-"
A wave of missiles blasted past him to obliterate several enemies.
Twilight hefted the RYNO II Ratchet had picked up in Bogon. "A bit low on ammo, but this still works."
Ratchet grinned. "Do you still have the original RYNO you used on our first adventure?"
Twilight shook her head, tossing the RYNO II to him. "Gadgetron confiscated it as being too dangerous to the wielder if misused," she replied. "Still, I've got plenty of other good weapons to use." Grinning, she pulled out her Flux Rifle. "This, for example, is especially useful from the air now that I've attached the inertial dampening mod to the stock." She then took to the air.
Ratchet grinned widely. "Let's go!"
Between the two weapons, very little was able to stand against them in their advance. The only difficulty each had was the limited ammo, but the pair did their best to be conservative. When Twilight ran out of ammo, she switched to her old standby of aerial dropping of bombs from her bomb glove, while using her lava gun to deal with aerial enemies. The lava that missed also happened to rain down on enemies below, so that was a plus.
When Ratchet ran out of RYNO II ammo, he switched to his new Qwack-O-Blitzer, which Twilight had received from Gadgetron for and upgraded during her Annihilation Nation rampage when delaying meeting with Courtney Gears. With a flaming bird flying around behind him and others exploding on the bad guys, Ratchet was easily able to advance, especially as it used no ammo. Twilight had given the weapon to him since she'd already managed to master a spell weave that created the same result.
Following the Bio-bliterator as it floated through the planet/city, the trio eventually reached Dr. Nefarious, who was on a hover train.
"Look Twilight, Clank!" Ratchet called out. "It's Dr. Nefarious!" He then gestured to Lawrence. "And that butler guy!" His gaze turned to a laser cage which - apparently - held another Clank. "And they've got Clank!" He glanced back at Clank. "They're...holding you prisoner. How about that?"
Twilight and Clank both let out a chuckle.
"I don't suppose there's any chance he's the duplicate?" Ratchet asked, pointing to the Clank in the cage.
Grinning, Twilight pulled out a remote and pressed a button. The eyes of the Clank in the cage went dark, and it fell to pieces.
"What?" Nefarious demanded in shock.
"I found your duplicate of Clank in Courtney Gears dressing room after I stunned her," Twilight explained. "After disabling it, I attached the transmitter that let you communicate with it to the real Clank, and put Courtney in her getaway vehicle with a remote Clank drone I'd had Derek Tovid make as Clank's stunt double, after messing with Courtney's internal chronometer so she didn't realize she'd been stunned." Grinning, she removed said transmitter from Clank, tossing it back to Nefarious.
"But...but that's straight out of episode 27, Double Agent Clank!" Nefarious shouted. "That's exactly what you did to sneak Clank into the Headquarters of the Deprogrammers of the Insomniac nega-verse! The forums laughed at me when I said it was realistic! They claimed no one would ever fall for something so obvious!" He scratched his chin. "I don't know whether to be tickled pink that I can now tell them it did work for real...or infuriated that it worked on me!"
Twilight merely smirked.
Nefarious glowered at them all. "I must say...Qwark did indeed choose well when he made you three his successors. I look forward to seeing just how far you will go...before you fall to me as he did!" As the Bio-bliterator passed overhead, Nefarious and Lawrence vanished in a teleportation beam. Twilight knew better than to try to hack this one.
Ratchet growled at the retreating ship. "Come on," he grunted. "Let's get back to the Phoenix and plan our next move."
As the trio returned to the Phoenix, a news broadcast detailing the Bio-bliterator attack was playing. As they reached Sasha, President Phyronix was giving a statement to the press regarding the event.
"Mr. President," Darla Gratch asked, "how will the attack on Metropolis effect your chances for reelection this fall?"
"I'm glad you asked, Darla," he replied jovially. "Our demographic research indicates that robots will make up 100% of the Galactic population by this time next week. Of course that's great news for my reelection campaign because, as you know-" With a sleight of hand trick, a robotic prosthetic was placed to cover half his face. "-I'm half robot myself!"
Twilight stared at the screen as it went dark. "...do I want to know who his opponent was last election?"
"Trust me, you don't," Sasha replied quickly.
"How did he win?" Twilight demanded.
"Qwark was still a big time hero at that time, and endorsed his campaign," Al replied.
"...ah."
"So how are we going to find those Bio-bliterators before they turn the entire galaxy into Nefarious' mind-controlled robotic slaves?" Ratchet demanded.
"Qwark said he was going to search for information...back on the Leviathan's bridge," Clank pointed out sadly. "Perhaps he found something...that survived the crash?"
Ratchet steeled himself, for Twilight's sake. "It's worth a shot," he replied. "It went down on Planet Zeldrin." He turned to Sasha. "We'll check out the crash site. Maybe...maybe Qwark left us something to help."
"We should...we should take Skrunch," Twilight said softly. "He knew Qwark best...if Qwark hid something for us somehow, he'd know how to find it."
Ratchet nodded. "Come on, Skrunch."
Skrunch 'mk-kak'ed in agreement.
Planet Zeldrin's surface was littered with the wreckage of the Leviathan. While many smaller zapbots, humanoid assault bots, and the flying robots with arm mounted auto-plasma-cannons lined the path in their way, Twilight came up with a rather interesting idea to get past them. "We don't really want to have to fight our way through, do we?" she asked.
"Well, no," Ratchet replied. "But we need to investigate."
Grinning, Twilight pulled out the original Hologuise, which allowed the holder to disguise as a robot. "Well, if these are Nefarious' forces, they're only programmed to go after organics, right?"
Ratchet couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face. "Clever girl," he said proudly.
With the Hologuise activated, the robot troops ignored them as they explored the wreckage, searching for some sign of what Qwark had been looking for, and what he might have found...and, perhaps, some sign of his body. While the path was long, winding, and full of quite a few obstacles to jump over or onto, Twilight had upgraded the Hologuise so it would maintain the hologram even while jumping...or, in her case, even while flying.
Eventually, they reached the one piece of ship debris they hadn't expected to find...an intact escape pod.
"This had to have come from the Leviathan," Ratchet said. "Could it be...could Qwark have survived? Is he alive somewhere on this planet?"
"These footprints are Qwark sized!" Twilight said eagerly. "He made it off alive! He's probably stranded out here somewhere, unable to get into contact! We need to find him!"
"He can't be far," Clank said, picking up a device from inside the pod. "This..." He hesitated as he saw Twilight turning towards him. "Portable Personal Massager for Men...is still warm."
Ratchet swallowed, trying not to think about what the device really was. "Well, I guess he had to work a few kinks out after crashing?" he suggested.
Twilight raised an eyebrow at both of them. She decided not to point out that the 'massager' was a Gadgetron product, or that she knew exactly what it was and what it was for. They were embarrassed enough as is. She did, however, make a mental note to invite Sasha and Helga to a tea party so she could joke about this with them.
"A call was recently made using the pod's emergency communicator," Clank pointed out.
Twilight tilted her head in confusion. "...Captain Qwark gave up the escape pod for his hermaphroditic twin sister who was being held hostage on board the Leviathan?" she asked, her mind struggling to come up with a logical explanation for what she just saw that she could accept.
"It certainly...seems that way," Clank offered nervously.
"That was Qwark," Ratchet corrected. "Dressed as a woman, for some reason."
"What?" Twilight asked. "But...but why didn't he call us? We would have come for him right away! And why hasn't he gotten into contact with us since?"
"Ooh-uu-mk'KAK!" Skrunch added angrily.
"I don't know," Ratchet replied. "But we're going to find him and ask him. Until we know, though...we should probably keep this information to ourselves."
"Good idea," Twilight replied. "He could be hurt or something, unable to fight, and we don't want Nefarious going after him to finish the job." Her eyes lit up. "Maybe that's why he hasn't contacted us! He doesn't want us to be distracted by trying to protect him while he's recovering!"
Ratchet nodded silently, unwilling to confess his own personal suspicions regarding Qwark's absence. He hoped he was wrong, anyway. "For now, lets get back to the Phoenix."
Skrunch then called attention to a datadisk he had found inside the escape pod.
"Let's get that to Al to decode," Twilight pointed out. "And we should probably sneak back out the way we snuck in. We don't want to draw any attention."
Reactivating the Hologuise, the group made their way back to the ship.
Once back aboard the Phoenix, Ratchet delivered the Data Disk to Al to decrypt. From what he said, this one would actually be a challenge to hack through. Ratchet didn't understand what 'Omega class asymmetric encryption' meant, but Twilight and Clank both seemed suitably impressed.
Twilight decided to investigate the fifth vid comic that had been found in Qwark's room, with the hope that it would have some clue to where Qwark might have gone to recuperate. In the mean time, Ratchet accepted a call from Sparkle Squad.
"Sir!" Eagle said as he saluted. "We're happy to report that the 'Noid incursion on Aridia has been dealt with! All robo-noids have been terminated, and their main base been neutralized and conquered. The planet is safe!"
"That's good to hear, soldier!" Ratchet replied. "Seems Twilight's training has done you all good."
"Madd would like you to give something to Twilight," Eagle explained as a new Gadget warped in over the comms. "It's a warp pad. It interacts with various energy signatures to create teleportation points. We used to use it to run away. After securing Outpost X12 here...Madd wants you to tell her he doesn't think he needs it anymore."
Ratchet saluted. "Will do, soldier!"
With the call ended, Ratchet went to deliver that message to Twilight.
While Twilight was overjoyed for Madd's progress, she was even more excited from what she discovered from the vid comic. "Qwark has a secret hideout in the Thran Asteroid Belt," she whispered excitedly. "If he'd hideout anywhere after escaping the Leviathan, it would be there!"
"Right!" Ratchet agreed. "We're going to go make sure he's alright and...find out what's really going on."
The hidden planet in the Thran Asteroid Belt was nearly frozen over, with patches of snow and ice covering the rocky terrain. The presence of Gadgetron Mobile Weapon Terminals and security systems indicated quite strongly that they were in the right place.
"Power scans indicate that the only place kept at comfortable temperatures for organics is the chamber at the top of the tallest tower," Clank explained. "Unfortunately, there is too much atmospheric interference to reach there directly from the ship."
"Any chance you could fly up and take a look, Twilight?" Ratchet asked.
Twilight shook her head. "With how cold this place is, I can barely move my wings. At best, I can manage a couple flaps for extra altitude before I'd have to shake out the ice crystals."
"Right," Ratchet said in resignation. "Looks like we're walking."
Although cold and difficult to progress along, the path was relatively straight forward. The first robotic opponent they encountered were sword wielding lawn gnomes. When they first popped up, Twilight actually stared at them long enough in stupefication that she nearly got hit before Ratchet took them down. "You okay, Twilight?' Ratchet asked.
She shook herself off. "Sorry. It's just...so ridiculous looking."
"That makes it more dangerous," Clank pointed out. "As you just proved."
Nodding, Twilight focused on her weaponry and obliterating obstacles.
The Warp Pad also proved useful, as Twilight was able to analyze the nature of the energy points it used to lock on in order to tweak her teleportation spell. Using the new tweak, she could lock onto the energy fluctuation for instantaneous transportation without having to gather as much of her magic as normal, allowing her both to warp more quickly and instantly evade incoming fire.
Not long after, they encountered robotic Qwark copies with guns instead of hands. As they attacked, Twilight chuckled. "Well, we definitely know we're in the right place now."
After fighting their way through a surprisingly efficient security system of attack robots and lasers, the group eventually made it to the heated chamber that Clank had detected. However, the gate was sealed tight. In order to get in, Clank, Twilight, and Skrunch had to take a smaller underground passage.
Other than large numbers of attack lawn gnomes and laser fields, the trip through the underground passage was no different than any other trip Clank and Twilight had taken together since returning to Solana. After clearing a few gaps and dealing with most of the obstacles with brutal application of Twilight's telekinesis, the final gate was opened.
Returning to Ratchet, they made their way inside. Once there, they found Captain Qwark...looking more or less healthy, but dressed in a white button down shirt and black pants. Most of his hero costume was tossed haphazardly on the other side of the room, and Qwark was staring at his reflection, his hand on his mask.
"C-captain?" Twilight asked, surprised.
Qwark spun around to face them. "Oh, hello! I...wasn't expecting to see you all here...or ever again..." He wiped his eyes briefly. "What brings you all here?"
"We found the escape pod," Ratchet replied simply. "And the data disc you left for us...the phone call...the secret vid comic..." He stepped forward in disbelief. "Why, Qwark? You had changed so much..."
Qwark sighed as he sat down on the bed. "...I'm a coward, Ratchet. You know that better than anyone. I...I can't face Nefarious...or his Bio-bliterator...I'll just...run away..."
"Like you have?" Clank asked.
"If I stayed with you all, as leader of the Q Force..." Qwark sighed. "Then at the pivotal moment when the whole galaxy counted on me...I would have crumbled. I know I would have. I always do. I...can't handle it." He shook his head. "I can't save the galaxy. I can barely manage to save me sometimes. I...barely managed to save Twilight...from my own actions."
He leaned back against the pillows. "When I managed to get out of the Leviathan, I was terrified. I couldn't stop shaking. When I got away from the pod, I threw up. It took me hours just to regain my composure. By the time I'd calmed down...I knew I couldn't go back. If I called you all, you'd bring me back to the Phoenix, put me back in charge...and I'd fail you right when it counted. I realized I had a chance to do one last good thing for all of you."
"Good?" Twilight gasped out. "How is letting us all think you were dead good?"
"Because you're all better off without me," he replied. "You especially, Twilight. You have what it takes to be a true hero. You can save the galaxy. You can save everyone. ...but you measure yourself against others. You can't let yourself shine under your own star. I...I knew you all thought I was dead. I thought...maybe, just maybe, it was better if 'Captain Qwark' did die on the Leviathan. At the very least...it could unite and inspire you all...to do what I couldn't.
"That's what this is all about," he explained, gesturing to the discarded costume and the civies he was wearing. "I was...working myself up to remove my mask. It's just...it's who I've been for so long...I have trouble remembering who I was without it..."
Skrunch, Ratchet, and Clank stared up at Qwark in disbelief. None of them had ever thought Qwark would have such deep reasoning for his actions. Ratchet had given a speech about the death of Captain Qwark...and in a real way, Qwark himself was seeing to it that the hero the galaxy knew died on the Leviathan...for their sake.
"...you think I can save the galaxy?" Twilight asked finally.
"Of course you can, Twilight," Qwark replied. "You've faced down Drek, your own darkness, so much that I could not...what's a galaxy or two to someone like you?"
"I can't handle the pressure any better than you!" Twilight snapped out. "When I think about all those lives counting on me - me! I'm just a filly! - I can hardly think! The only way I can deal with all that pressure...is to forget about it."
"Huh?" everyone asked in shock, nearly simultaneously.
"I can't save the galaxy," Twilight replied. "That's too big for me...too big for anyone. So...to keep fighting, I just focus on...saving two." She smiled up at Ratchet and Clank. "That I can handle. That gives me motivation and drive...just to save two." She then turned her smile on Qwark. "That's all you need to do, Qwark. Just focus on saving one." She brushed her wingtips over the scars that had appeared on her body while Dark Star had rampaged, scars that would never fade. "You did that once."
Surprised, Qwark pulled his shirt open, his fingers stroking the RYNO II scars on his back from where he had leapt to protect her from what would have been a lethal blast.
"All you have to do is find the strength...to do that again," Twilight said softly. "I...I know you have it in you, Qwark."
Turning, she headed back for the ship, the rest of the group following her.
Discarding his shirt, Qwark turned to look at the reflection of the scars on his back. "Just save...one...huh?"
When the group returned to their ship, they found Sasha on the communicator. "Ratchet!" she shouted, gunfire in the background. "Where have you been?"
"We were just-" Ratchet began, struggling to spin a tale that didn't mention Qwark.
"Never mind!" Sasha interrupted. "The Phoenix is under attack! Our shields are-" The signal was interrupted by static.
"Sasha!" Ratchet shouted in fear.
"Captain!" Twilight called out.
The signal cut back in. "-to 40%. Life support systems are-" More static interrupted. "-I think they're getting-" Longer static. "-aboard the ship. Whatever's on that disc has Nefarious worried-" Again, static cut the signal. "-do anything to get it back." Sasha smiled, this time just for Ratchet. "Hey hot shot, if I don't get to see you again, I just wanted to say-" The signal was consumed by static and was lost.
Clank looked up at Ratchet sadly. "The signal...is lost."
Ratchet's eyes narrowed. "But they won't be," he growled, gunning the engine. "Engage the gravimetric warp drive!"
As worried as Twilight was for the Phoenix and all aboard, a little detail appeared in her mind and wrote itself on the 'possible Mommy' checklist.
Mutual Attraction and Affection? Check.
As they entered the docking bay, their shuttle slipped in alongside the Sparkle Squad's ship. The four Rangers had apparently returned from Aridia, and were struggling to fight the invading force. Not only were the robotic enemies far more nimble than 'Noids - Twilight swore they were robo-ninjas - the Rangers weren't used to battle in confined space where collateral damage was a concern. Twilight made a mental note to add that to the training regimen she'd outlined for future Galactic Ranger trainees.
"What's the situation?" Twilight demanded of Ironhead, who was working on repairing Boom Boom.
"The crew are on the bridge," Ironhead growled. "The invaders have taken over the rest of the ship, though Eagle's keeping them out of Engineering. They were trying to blow the ship up."
"We'll take it from here," Ratchet proclaimed. "Make sure none of them escape."
"Sir!" both Rangers proclaimed, saluting.
As two robo-ninjas leapt over Ironhead's barricade to attack, Twilight grabbed one in her magic. Ironhead grabbed the other in his free hand. They smashed the two hostiles into each other, pulping them.
"Let's move!" Ratchet barked, priming his weapons.
For the most part, the robo-ninjas were the primary threat as they made their way towards the bridge. They took a lot of punishment, and were able to dodge quite well. The zap-bots were a minor nuisance at best by comparison. Eventually, however, Ratchet lost his temper. When one of the robo-ninjas evaded a bit too well and came in swinging its double beam saber, Ratchet caught it by the handle on the way down.
"Out of my way!" he growled, bringing his wrench down on the ninja's hand servos, shattering them. He then spun, driving the shorter blade into its head, shorting out its CPU. In the same motion, he hurled the weapon like a javelin, impaling three other robo-ninjas through the power core.
"I am so glad my prosthetic has a built in camera!" Twilight squealed as she watched the little REC in the corner of her HUD.
After that, the robo-ninjas avoided short range combat, staying back and hurling bladed discs at the group...which Twilight caught in her telekinesis and sent flying right back into their skulls. Suddenly, the robo-ninjas - despite their vast numbers - weren't as much of a threat.
"It appears the Conservation of Ninjutsu has worked in our favor," Clank commented dryly.
"That's why we're making sure to take them out in groups!" Twilight agreed.
Guarding the last stretch to the bridge was a massive mecha. It attempted to attack with high energy plasma blasts. Twilight, for her part, took advantage of the heat of exposed circuitry to glide close to the ceiling and land on its head unit. After determining that it lacked a pilot and was in fact a very large robot, she pulled out her Infecto-Bomb and popped open the ammo tank, leaking the acidic containment fluid directly onto the head unit of the mecha, burning straight through to the core circuitry. One Plasma Storm shot into the hole and the whole thing exploded, taking out the last of the robo-ninjas with the shrapnel.
Once aboard the bridge, they were confronted immediately by a heavily armed robo-Skidd. "What's the password?" he demanded over the whine of his weapons powering up.
"If you fire those, the recoil will send you flying right out the viewport," Twilight pointed out.
Robo-Skidd powered down his weapons. "Welcome back, guys-guys-guys." Apparently, his voice skip hadn't been addressed.
Sasha breathed a sigh of relief as she led the others out from their hiding places behind various consoles, each of them heavily armed. Helga had swapped one of her arms for a flame thrower, while Al had Mega-Turrets on a backpack, keyed to a control pad in his hands and an ammo supply in the backpack. "You guys made it just in time," Sasha admitted. "I don't know how much longer we would have held out."
"You held out long enough," Ratchet confirmed. "That's all that was needed. Any progress with the data disc, Al?"
"A bit difficult to work with all the gunfire," Al pointed out. "I'm not used to these conditions. But...I managed to pull it off."
"The disc contains a complete copy of Nefarious' battle plan," Sasha explained. "He's going to attack planet after planet leaving nothing but his robotic slaves in his wake. The bio-bliterator is so well protected, he doesn't believe we can stop it."
"Then we'll just have to prove him wrong," Twilight replied.
"The bio-bliterator is programmed to recharge its power cells after each attack," Al pointed out. "That's probably the only time it's even close to being vulnerable."
"It's recharging at a base on Planet Koros as we speak," Sasha pointed out. "And...the next target...is Veldin."
As Ratchet's brow furrowed, Twilight blinked. "So...the final battle's going to take place in our backyard again?" she asked. "But the repair crew just finished rebuilding our house, and I already paid the bill!"
For a long moment, everyone was silent. Then the entire bridge burst into laughter.
"Well we can't let Nefarious break our house again, then, can we?" Ratchet joked. "Repair crews don't give refunds, and I haven't gotten any homeowners insurance."
"Then we'd best not let Nefarious get that far," Clank added.
In high spirits and confidence, Ratchet and his team made their way to Koros.
As the trio arrived on Koros, the Bio-bliterator was plainly visible in the sky. "Look, there it is!" Ratchet pointed out.
"But how are we supposed to take it out?" Twilight asked. "The guns I have that could damage it don't have the range..."
"Then we need a bigger gun," Clank suggested, turning towards a massive ion cannon atop a nearby base.
Seeing it, Twilight's eyes lit up. "Can I supercharge it?" she begged.
"Only if the first shot doesn't do it," Ratchet cautioned.
"If you two can get me inside," Clank explained, "I can override its targeting controls and take control of that ion cannon."
"Then let's waste some baddies!" Twilight said eagerly.
As they progressed through the city outside the base, the major new threat was small robots that had hand-held ion cannons. These did quite a bit of damage when the shots hit, and because of how fast they moved and how rapidly they fired, it was hard to lock onto them. Twilight settled this by launching barrages of magic fireballs and throwing things at them with her telekinesis. It was still a difficult fight, though, as she couldn't duck out from cover to aim.
"Third person cover-based shooters have lied to me," she grumbled when she had to duck back behind cover before she could get a shot off for the fifth time.
Ratchet took a quick scan of the next one they faced. "They don't have much health," he pointed out. "Still got the Rynocerator?"
"Afraid not," Twilight called out. "I cannibalized it to make the RYNO IV."
"Damn," Ratchet replied. "It would actually come in handy here."
"Perhaps a Heavy Bouncer fired at a high angle?" Clank suggested. "The Mini-bouncers released automatically home in on targets."
Twilight grinned as she hefted the weapon. "Good idea!" she said, pulling the trigger.
As the plan worked flawlessly, the trio was able to move onward. Other high explosive weapons - such as the Nitro Eruptor - worked just as well, as the explosive could be lobbed to take out large groups. It seemed the best way to deal with the smaller bots was to use area of effect or auto-targeting weapons...or use the Infecto-Bomb to infect one of the giant mechas that backed them up.
The occasional heavily armored soldier also held them up somewhat, as they took several hits from even the heaviest of weapons. Twilight began using the strategy of flying ahead to infect the heavy mechs to clear the path for them. When they reached the entrance to the base, they began encountering heavily armed carrier ships. The first time Twilight saw one of those, she grinned widely. "Draw its fire!" she yelled out, spreading her wings.
Curious, Ratchet did as he was instructed. "Yo, bug ugly!" he shouted, waving his hands at the carrier.
Once its attention was fully on Ratchet, Twilight flew up to the side, used her Splitter Rifle to shoot the pilot through the window on the door, dove in through the broken glass, and used her Pilot's Helmet to seize control of the ship. "Now this is combat firepower!" she shouted as she began blasting the enemies.
Unfortunately, robotic opponents both on the carrier and off it locked on as soon as she started firing on them, which meant she didn't keep control for long before she had to dive out after setting it on course to blow up a large portion of the enemy force. "Well...that was fun while it lasted," she admitted sadly.
"That was awesome!" Ratchet praised, making her blush in pleasure.
Eventually, the trio was able to fight their way through to the control center for the Ion Turret. Once there, Clank took the controls.
Nefarious' face appeared on the comscreen. "Agent Clank?" he demanded as Clank manipulated the joystick. "What is going on here?" As the cannon locked onto the Bio-bliterator, he added, "What do you think you're doing?"
"After all those holo-films, there is one thing you should know by now," Clank pointed out. "Do not mess...with Agent Clank!" With that, he opened fire.
In one shot, the Ion Turret obliterated the Bio-bliterator.
"CLAAAAA-" Nefarious began to shout.
Clank cut him off. "Incoming call from the Phoenix."
Sasha appeared on the comscreen. "Nice shooting, Clank. There's no telling how many lives you've just saved." She hesitated.
Twilight sighed. "How many backups did he have?" she asked.
"From what the Data Disc said, just the one, thank goodness," Sasha explained. "But this one is even more powerful and dangerous than the one you just destroyed."
"Where is it?" Ratchet demanded.
"Nefarious has a master control center on Planet Mylon," Sasha explained. "We believe the last Bio-bliterator is there now, guarded by an entire robot army."
"Just robots?" Twilight asked. Grinning widely, she pulled out her Gadgetron Uplink. "Hey Eiken? Can you put Dr. Ivanna Splodya on? There was a project idea she had, and I was wondering if she'd done any more work on it..."
"Whatever your plan is, be careful," Sasha warned. "This time, they know you're coming."
As they arrived on Mylon, it became plain that, indeed, all the opponents were robotic. "So what's your big plan, Twilight?" Ratchet asked. "That new weapon doesn't look very impressive. Looks a lot like the old Bomb Glove."
Twilight grinned widely. "When Dr. Splodeya was first working on the Tesla Claw, an error in production caused it to constantly explode, releasing an EMP. She was considering changing the design to an EMP Mine until I showed her how to fix it so it would work properly. As it turned out, though, she did successfully create an EMP Mine Glove, which I'm now going to be testing."
"I fail to see the advantage," Clank pointed out.
"I talked with Al about robo-Skidd," she pointed out. "It turns out the circuitry of these organics turned robots..." Lobbing an EMP mine forward, it landed between two large robo-Noids. When it went off, both fell down out cold. "...aren't hardened," Twilight finished.
A grin slowly split Ratchet's face. "And the entirety of the defense force here is robo-Noids?"
"According to scans," Twilight agreed eagerly.
"I am glad my circuitry is shielded against EMP," Clank mumbled.
The EMP mines proved excessively effective in infiltrating the base. While there were only 50, Twilight was able to position them remotely with her telekinesis, setting them up at huge range to take out large groups of Robo-Noids, clearing the path long before they were in weapon range. Twilight's telekinesis also allowed her to open force fields from the far side, negating a need for the Tyhrra-guise. Between Twilight's flying and the new Swingshots, they were able to skip over most elevators and other similar segments as well. The only problem they came across was three groups of ion gun wielding mini robots like those on Koros - whose circuitry was hardened against EMPs - but one Nitro Eruptor shot took each group out.
However, despite their speed, they reached Nefarious and Lawrence just as they teleported onto the Bio-bliterator, which promptly took off.
"Damn! We're too late!" Ratchet swore.
Nefarious' maniacal laughter echoed.
At that moment, a dropship docked right in front of them. "Get in!" Sasha ordered from the pilot's seat.
Sasha flew them to where Nefarious had fled, taking them to the air over his destination. Once there, Ratchet, Twilight, and Clank leapt out of the dropship, free falling to where Nefarious had been detected, evading around the mortars being fired at them. As they landed, Nefarious spun to face them from his control panel. "You again?" he demanded angrily. "You will pay for your insolence, you miserable rodent! And your little pony, too! You will regret-"
Ratchet cut him off by hurling his Omniwrench at the control panel behind him. Nefarious dodged out of the way before he was hit, but the control panel exploded on impact. "Sorry Nefarious," Ratchet joked. "Your flight's been canceled."
Nefarious growled in frustration. "Lawrence!" he shouted out. "Lawrence? ...LAW~rence!"
Lawrence's hologram appeared. "How can I be of assistance?" the hologram asked.
"Annihilate them!" Nefarious proclaimed angrily, pointing at Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight.
"Just kidding!" the hologram added. "You've reached my holographic voice mail. Leave your name and a brief message. Ta-ta!"
Nefarious growled dismissively at the hologram. "Fine!" he snapped. "I'll do it mys-"
"Question!" Twilight interrupted.
Nefarious blinked. "Yes?"
"The Qwark vid-comics implied that you used to be an organic life form before an accident converted you into a mechanical organism," she explained. "Is that the same process that was the basis of the Bio-bliterator's functionality?"
Nefarious' eyes widened in surprise. "Why yes, yes it is!" he replied eagerly. "For only true genius can take one's greatest defeat and turn it into an ultimate weapon!"
"Have you made any alterations to your circuitry since then?" Twilight asked.
"Why would I need to improve upon perfection?" Nefarious demanded. "Aside from occasional repairs, I am exactly as I was then, reborn as a glorious machine!"
"Then that means your circuitry isn't hardened, any more than the Robo-Noids' circuitry was, right?" Twilight added, grinning widely.
"Well...no," Nefarious admitted. "But it should not matter! I have no need of-"
A click interrupted him as the combat gadget on Twilight's foreleg dispensed another EMP mine. "I restocked on the way in. The dropship has built in armament synthesizers, after all." She hurled it forward with both her own physical power and her telekinesis.
"AAAAAUGHHHH!" Nefarious shouted, turning and fleeing. "Keep it away! Keep it away! Keep it away!"
As he fled as fast as his legs could carry him, Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank raced off in hot pursuit. Nefarious summoned many of his robotic minions in an attempt to delay them, but not only were they too fast - Twilight had pulled out her hoverboard, and Ratchet was making use of his Charge Boots (Twilight had made a mental note to see if she could incorporate the rocket thrusters into the Magnegrind boots so Ratchet wouldn't have to keep switching shoes) - Sparkle Squad teleported in to join the final battle, obliterating everything in their range that moved that wasn't Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight.
"LAWRENCE!" Nefarious shouted again at last.
Lawrence beamed in, though he was dressed as some sort of rocker and had a guitar in his hands.
"Is this important, sir?" he asked as he strummed his guitar. The EMP mine went off against his back, doing nothing. Apparently, his circuitry was hardened. "It's almost time for my solo." He strummed his guitar, seeming completely oblivious to the chaos going on around him.
"Begin the transformation!" Nefarious proclaimed dramatically.
"I call it...Bass Odyssey." Lawrence continued his strumming.
"Now, Lawrence!" Nefarious shouted in his face.
"Aw!" Twilight complained. "Can't we hear Bass Odyssey first?"
Nefarious paused. "Promise not to throw an EMP mine at me?"
"Cease fire while the song plays?" Twilight countered.
"Deal."
Smiling, Lawrence began playing his musical solo.
Once his solo was complete, Lawrence pressed a button on a remote, causing the Bio-bliterator to unfold into a giant robot.
Nefarious cackled madly as he and Lawrence were beamed into the cockpit. A barrage of missiles came down on Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight. Twilight fled, circling the massive battle bot on her hoverboard. Ratchet hopped into a nearby land assault craft to race away along with her.
The barrage was interrupted as an assault craft that had obviously been green at one point but had been inexpertly repainted another color that didn't handle reentry well dove in, unleashing a barrage of laser fire.
"Who dares?" Nefarious demanded angrily.
The ship gave no response as it dove in for another strafing run.
"Whoever's flying that ship sure knows what they're doing," Ratchet pointed out.
"You can do better, Daddy!" Twilight said happily, pointing to another assault craft nearby.
Grinning widely, Ratchet hopped into the cockpit while Twilight braced herself on top of the ship. As the craft rose into the air, she pulled out her old Tesla Claw, amping it up for greater range.
It wasn't long before the endless barrage broke down the Bio-bliterator-bot's defenses, and it eventually exploded. Twilight managed to pick up a teleporter signal indicating that Nefarious and Lawrence had escaped. She attempted to trace the signal, but found it had no destination coordinates programmed. That might prove problematic for finding them, but it did indicate that it would be some time before they were seen again.
The welcome back aboard the Phoenix was spectacular, as was the celebration of victory. "So...any idea who that was who came to our aid?" Ratchet asked.
"We don't know," Sasha pointed out. "However, we're getting an automated request for docking from the ship. We'll be meeting them soon."
The entire crew went to the docking bay as the ship came in for a landing, parking gently in the empty spot left for it. As the door slowly irised open, Twilight spotted the half painted over symbol on the side. "...Captain Qwark?" she asked in joyful surprise, causing everyone to gasp.
A familiar voice spoke from the ship in unfamiliar tones as movie smoke poured out the door. "Captain Qwark fell with the Leviathan," the voice stated firmly. "He died trying to be a hero, trying to save everyone. The burden was too big, and it destroyed him. From this lesson, I have learned...how to save one. For I am..."
Qwark's silhouette appeared in the smoke. As the smoke faded, his costume could be seen to be different. Rather than the usual green, it was bright purple. Floppy wings were attached to his back, and a floppy purple horn was slipped on over his antenna. Instead of the usual Q, a purple star against a white star was emblazoned on his chest.
"SERGEANT...SPARKLE!" he shouted as he became fully visible, posing dramatically.
Everyone but Clank and Twilight burst into helpless laughter at the sight. Clank stared in fascination. "Oh...my," was all he could bring himself to say.
Twilight hid her face in her wings. "Qwark...please tell me you still have your old costume...that's terrifying..."
After Twilight finally talked Qwark back into his old costume after a long, frustrating, and hilarious in hindsight discussion, a party was quickly underway to celebrate the victory. During the last mission, Al had successfully finished decrypting Nefarious data, and had managed to reverse engineer the Bio-bliterator to reverse its effects. The process had already been tested on Skidd, and had worked perfectly. Scientists were already being dispatched to reverse the robotization of the galactic populace. And with Qwark returning, the entire victory had been achieved without any losses...unless the Tyhrranoids were counted, but no one seemed interested in taking them into account.
The party was in full swing, with Ratchet once more spinning tales of his exploits to entertain Sasha, who seemed quite fascinated. Of course, the fact that her eyes trailed everywhere except his face whenever he looked away from her to gesticulate indicated it likely wasn't his story she found so fascinating. Ratchet didn't seem to mind her distracted attention, though. If anything, he seemed to take every opportunity when she turned to hear what someone else had to say to return the favor with his own eyes. Twilight found this highly amusing, and began looking for opportunities to arrange for them to be alone together somewhere private. The situation resolved itself, however, when Sasha suggested to Ratchet she test his physical prowess in the VR Training Chamber in traditional Cazar combat...just as soon as she'd uploaded the data for the computer to generate traditional Cazar combat garb for the both of them. The fact that she sealed the doors from the inside with her Captain's authority and disabled the security cameras in the VR Training Chamber made sure that what happened inside was a secret to nobody, despite her best efforts.
(It was only later that Twilight's research revealed that 'traditional Cazar combat' was only ever utilized as part of Cazarian courtship, and was considered foreplay. Clank and Qwark were left feeling very awkward when she asked them what foreplay was.)
Twilight, Clank, and Qwark engaged in a dance contest with Helga, Al, and Skidd as judges. Clank won no contest, as when she danced to express herself Twilight's dancing could be best described as 'having less natural rhythm and grace than a jellyfish having a seizure', and Qwark on the dance floor had all the grace of a hippopotamus with an anal infection trying to scratch its bum. Things became much more even when they shifted to zero-g DDR. There, Twilight had the advantage as she had one hoof for each button.
Sparkle Squad joined in the party in their own way, dancing to the beat of the music and competing to see which of them could make the coolest, craziest hat out whatever was at hand. It was eventually decided to be a tie between Madd for his pony hat - sticking Twilight on his head - and Ironhead for his Hero's Cap - sticking Captain Qwark on his head upside down.
Towards the end of the party, Clank received a call from Derek Tovid, informing him that the new Secret Agent Clank holo-vid was going to be screened soon, and they all had reserved seating. Clank felt he had to inform Sasha and Ratchet - especially since the expanded script had them both on cast - so he decided to hack around Sasha's lock on the Training Chamber to tell them.
Thankfully, they seemed to be resting at the moment, but Clank did get a good look at Cazar traditional battle garb. All he could say was that it was definitely suited to the climate of the Cazar home world and its binary star.
The cameras zoomed in on holo-theater, a massive picture of Clank and 'Sparks' above the entrance as throngs of people lined the sides of the red carpet. "We're live from the star studded premiere of the latest film in the Secret Agent Clank series," Darla Gratch said into the news feed. "The atmosphere is positively electric, as thousands of fanatical fans clamor for a glimpse of their favorite celebrities."
Behind Darla, President Phyronix was waving to the voting public, though every so often he sent an unhappy glance over his shoulder. Ratchet and Sasha were walking hand in hand, waving to the crowd. Whenever they weren't looking at him, he sent an unhappy glance towards Ratchet...until Sasha caught him at it and glowered at him, her upper lip pulling back over her teeth. He backed up so fast he fell ears over tail and rolled into the theater, much to the amusement of the voting public.
Once inside the theater, everyone sat back to watch the film as it reached its climactic showdown.
Secret Agent Clank and Sparks raced away from pursuing forces of the dreaded Maximilian, the snowy backdrop adding tension to their flight. Through quick thinking, the pair of them were able to divert the pair of robo-ninjas into self destruction, the first cutting down the second before getting snatched up by a yeti.
They both had to leap off their boards as they approached a cliff edge. Sparks lunch fell out of her pack, scattering as her cookie burst apart on a rock. Maximilian then rose up from beyond the cliff in a helicopter, the cookie crumbs scattering over his body. "Agent Clank...Sparks..." he said as he grinned down at them. "It seems your luck has finally run out." He laughed wickedly. "The time has come...to say-"
"Duck!" Sparks shouted, pointing.
Maximilian and Clank instinctively ducked, but nothing seemed to happen. "Your tricks won't work this time, Sparks!" Maximilian snapped. "I have been waiting for this moment for a long time, and now, I am going to blow you both into a million-"
At that moment, a large avian flew into the cockpit of the attack helicopter, pecking away at Maximilian to get at the cookie crumbs. Maximilian roared angrily and flailed, accidentally turning off the engine of the chopper. The blades broke against the cliff as it fell before going up in a massive, majestic fireball.
"I tried to warn him..." Sparks pointed out, her cyborg optic whirring.
Clank pointed at the avian. "That is a goose," he corrected.
"Heh," Sparks replied sheepishly. "Oops?"
As the credits rolled, applause echoed. While Ratchet and Sasha shared a quick kiss, Twilight leaned up to give Clank a gentle peck on the cheek. "When's the next film?" she asked eagerly.
Ratchet and Sasha sat back aboard the Phoenix, watching the news feed. Ratchet lay back with one hand behind his head, while Sasha stretched across the couch with her head on his shoulder and her arms crossed on her stomach. The news feed discussed President Phyronix's latest polls, and how public opinion of him was at an all time low. Qwark's latest news feed had attributed success against Nefarious to the combined efforts of the Q-Force...under the joint leadership of Ratchet and Captain Sasha Phyronix, downplaying his own role in the efforts, going so far as to say his own showboating during the crisis was a ploy to lull Nefarious into a false sense of security where the real heroes of the day were concerned. Since President Phyronix had appointed Qwark to lead the fight against Nefarious over his own daughter, this did not play well in the polls for him.
"I know Dad's not the best of leaders," Sasha admitted candidly as they watched, a rare moment of privacy for them given the hectic life aboard the Phoenix. It had actually taken the assertion that, as a military vehicle, the Phoenix was off limits to civilians in order to get the press to stop showing up. Thankfully, every member of the Q-Force had been awarded a military rank as part of their reward for their efforts in defeating Nefarious, so no exceptions had to be made. "But he does try his best."
"He's a rather hands off sort of leader," Ratchet replied. "He listens enough to figure out what the problem is, finds someone who's an expert in the problem, tells them to solve it, then leaves them to do it. It could be worse."
"Yeah," Sasha replied. "And his primary opponent in this next election is worse..." She gestured to the other side of the news feed, where her Father's primary political opponent was giving his speech, which mostly consisted of denouncing President Phyronix as an idiot and calling for a new leader that actually had a brain to bring a change to how the galaxy was run. None of his speech actually stated what sort of change he intended to bring. "He thinks he's smarter than he is. He's the sort to try and fix things himself."
Ratchet shuddered. "The last leader I encountered like that was Chairmen Drek of the Blargh."
"Exactly," Sasha replied. "It looks like the galaxy is going to have to pick between bad or worse..."
Ratchet was silent in thought for a time. "Unless someone ran against them from a third party," Ratchet suggested. "Someone with the charisma, confidence, and reputation to garner popular support even without major party backing."
Sasha looked up at him. "You aren't seriously suggesting Qwark run for Galactic President, are you?"
"Heck no!" Ratchet countered. "He'd be as bad as your father! He's still learning that he's not as smart as he thinks he is. We'd need someone who actually knows what they're doing in command. Someone with successful leadership experience that involved more than 'this is what you do, figure out how yourself'. Someone who covered themselves in glory in this latest conflict."
Sasha chuckled. "Well, I'd certainly vote for you," she replied, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.
Ratchet blushed, but shook his head. "I wouldn't do good at the top of the chain. I know my limits. I'm a blunt instrument. In battle or in a lab, I know what to do and how to do it...but politics? Governing? Diplomacy? I'd be lost at sea if I tried. It would have to be someone smarter than me."
"Twilight's turning ten next month," Sasha replied. "Even with a celebrity, military, and corporate career under her belt, she can't run for political office until she's at least 16."
Ratchet burst into laughter. "No way would I suggest Twilight run the galaxy. You've seen what she's like when she comes up with something new to experiment with. Do you even want to imagine what would happen if she got like that with the resources of the entire galaxy at her disposal?"
Sasha began to picture that.
Specters of long forgotten beasts out of myth and legend rampaged through the galaxy. Planets were torn apart, or tore themselves apart as they unfolded into hellish beasts. Mind flayers and other beasts far worse hunted the living, while the dead rose from their graves to sing hellish hymns of praise to the unleashed abominations.
In the midst of it all, Twilight took notes. "While the Elder Gods prove an excellent source of free energy, the side effects of tapping them are not worth the profit." She turned. "Daddy! I made a mess!"
Sasha shuddered. "Yeah, definitely don't put her in charge of anything bigger than a squad of Rangers or a labful of interns until she's grown up." She smiled as Ratchet laughed at her vehement reaction. "But who else could you mean?"
Ratchet looked down at her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.
Sasha's eyes widened in shock. "Me? You can't be serious. I'm an officer, not a politician."
"A lot of military types go into politics," Ratchet countered. "You'd certainly do a better job than anyone else running, being your father's daughter will be an advantage because his political social circles will already know you, and Captain Qwark's already endorsed your leadership qualities. You'd win easily, and it would be good for the galaxy."
Sasha thought about that for a time. "...you really think I should?" she asked softly.
"Why did you join the military?" Ratchet asked, seeming to change the subject.
"To prove myself, and to serve the needs of the Solana Galaxy and its people," she replied without hesitation.
"Well, the galaxy needs a strong leader, and its people need someone who cares more about them than their own political ambitions," Ratchet replied.
Sasha was silent as she let his words sink in, mulling them over as the political news feed continued to play. "You realize if I actually did this...I wouldn't have time for the Phoenix...or you and Twilight."
"I know," Ratchet replied, his voice tinged with sadness that matched Sasha's. "But your Dad's going to lose this election. Nothing will change that. And you'd be miserable if that guy was giving you orders." Ratchet jerked his thumb at the other politico. "He strikes me as the expansionist sort, who thinks the solution to any problem is to start a war somewhere."
"True," Sasha allowed. She began running her hand over the nearby bulkhead. "I'd hate to leave the Phoenix, though. I'd want to be sure she was in good hands."
Ratchet grinned. "Well, Admiral," he joked, reminding her of the promotion she'd received as a result of her contributions to stopping Nefarious, "I do agree that the Phoenix needs a good Captain." He playfully gestured to the bars on his own uniform.
Sasha managed a smirk. "Well, you do seem to have an answer for everything...Captain."
"I try...Admiral," Ratchet teased back.
Grinning, Sasha reached up to cup his face in both hands. "So...what should I do with you now?" She lifted her face slowly towards his.
Ratchet lowered his face towards her.
"You should get a room!" Twilight called from the door. "One with a lock, maybe?"
Ratchet and Sasha both froze as the wave of giggles indicated that their moment of privacy had ended.
Aboard the Starship Phoenix, Ratchet carefully managed the controls, keeping track of the readings the systems were giving him. Al stood at the science officer's station, while Clank was at the second in command's chair. Twilight was taking a nap in her room. Qwark was in Metropolis, acting as Sasha's VP. Ratchet was a little bit upset that he couldn't fill such a role himself - he already missed spending time with Sasha - but the role of the VP was to shake hands, look good, and make the President look good...and Qwark was better at political ass-kissery than he could ever be.
As he thought about Sasha, Clank informed him of a transmission. "Incoming call from the Galactic President. The new Galactic President."
Ratchet looked up happily as Sasha appeared on the screen. "Greetings, Madame President," he greeted, halfway between respectful and teasing. "You seem to be doing well."
Sasha chuckled ruefully. "Greetings, Captain," she teased right back. "I see you're taking good care of my old ship."
Ratchet smiled. "She needed some tuning up, but I've kept her in good shape. How's life in the Oblong Office?"
Sasha stifled a groan as she rubbed her head. "I never should have let you talk me into this. So much paperwork, and these idiots constantly spewing meaningless rhetoric to 'explain' why what I've proposed is impossible...and half the time, they don't even know what I'm talking about, let alone what they're talking about."
Ratchet sucked in a breath through his teeth in sympathy. "Anything I can do to lend a hand?"
"Actually, there is," Sasha replied morosely. "I'm afraid I bring bad news. As you know, Captain Starshield disappeared over a month ago. I've just been informed that he's been killed."
Ratchet closed his eyes in sympathy as Al gasped in disbelief. Captain Starshield had been one of the 2nd-tier heroes, those who had been high profile before Qwark stole most of the spotlight. They'd done their work, supported good causes, and overall were good people just looking out for themselves and others. "What happened?" Ratchet asked, doing his best to keep his own emotions in check. He'd need to be strong for this.
"According to reports, he was involved in some sort of illegal combat sport," Sasha replied. "Something called Dreadzone." She called up an image of a bluish skinned slug man in a red suit jacket. "We believe it was being run by this man, Gleeman Vox. He operates an underground media empire from within the Shadow Sector."
"You mean that lawless region of space on the fringes of the Solana Galaxy?" Ratchet asked.
Sasha managed a smile. "I see you've been keeping up with the paperwork yourself," she complimented. "But you need to be careful. Many other heroes have disappeared, which leads me to think that not all of those who have been in these 'games' are in willingly."
"And Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight are the big hero names recently," Al concluded.
"Exactly," Sasha confirmed. "I wanted to warn you-"
The signal became interrupted as the ship alarms went off.
"Unidentified craft approaching!" Clank called out.
Ratchet leapt from the Captain's chair, racing for the crew quarters, but he didn't make it ten feet before the assaulting troops teleported in and had the three of them cornered.
Twilight groaned as she came to. She found herself staring out of a visor in a sealed combat helmet. A robot of some sort was working on her, and not speaking. She tried to talk herself, but found no sound came out.
She struggled to recall what had led up to this. She had been aboard the Phoenix, taking a nap. The Red Alert had gone off, and she'd leapt out of bed, racing for the bridge and her station. The moment she'd stepped through the door of her quarters, she felt lightning arcing along her horn, and she blacked out. And now she was here.
When she tried to focus her magic, an alert displayed on her visor. She paused, waiting for the alert to pass as the robot made a few tweaks. Glancing around, she was only able to take in the basics of a med bay before being teleported somewhere.
When she reappeared, she was on all fours, and she was able to see she was in some sort of brownish-red armor. Her visor continued giving her details...something about being a 'new contestant'.
A new message appeared on the visor. 'Calibrating targeting matrix.'
A green hologram of a robot appeared to her left. When she turned to face it, it vanished, to reappear to her right. Frustrated, she seized the weapon in her hip holster - her visor identified it as one half of the Double Viper weapon - and fired at the hologram. When the hologram reappeared on a higher ledge, she shot it again.
'Calibration complete,' the visor read out. A map then appeared, indicating her current location and a destination.
Following the map, she shot three more holo-targets, causing an energy shield to drop, granting her access to a teleporter. On activation, she came out in a large, open area that was plainly an arena of some sort.
A holo-screen appeared, revealing the grinning face of Gleeman Vox. Twilight's helmet opened up in response to a button pressed on her peytral.
"Greetings, hero," Vox gloated, "and welcome...to Dreadzone! Rest assured you are now far beyond the reach of hope. There will be no rescues, no pardons, no possibility of escape. You are now a contestant on the greatest holo-vision program the galaxy has ever known! A celebrity gladiator, battling for the pleasure of a billion screaming fans across the Shadow Sector and beyond! Chances are you'll be dead by tomorrow. But! Those of you who play the game with skill and strategy will earn a chance to win your freedom. So, good luck...hero. We'll be watching you."
The holo-screen closed on Gleeman Vox's maniacal laughter. Several robots came out of various ports to attack Twilight, but she quickly hauled out her Omniwrench - which she now discovered was still with her - and flung it forward, activating its return gyroscope so it would circle around her as she moved. Hauling out the Magma Cannon she also found herself equipped with - she recognized it as a variation of the Shock Cannon - she quickly blasted the larger robots to bits while her wrench took down the smaller ones before it returned to her.
As she finished, Gleeman Vox appeared on a larger screen, and proceeded to explain the Deadlock collar locked around her neck. She quickly grasped it was the basic 'shock and bomb' collar that was stock for every 'captured hero fighter' film she'd ever seen at Holostar...including one she and Clank had starred in.
She was about to ignore it, but a message appeared on her visor screen.
Oh, and Twilight...we're well aware of your 'magical' abilities, and have isolated the wavelength it utilized. That's why your collar is tight enough around your neck to compress some of your fur, where you'll always feel it. If your collar is exposed to your magical frequency - whether from being tinkered with by a tool held in your telekinesis, you casting a spell on it, or you trying to teleport with your magic...and a signal will be sent from your collar...and Team Dark Star will be down its primary competitor when Ratchet's collar explodes.
Vox
Twilight swallowed, whimpering. She knew she couldn't try to escape now...not if the slightest touch of her magic on the collar would kill Ratchet. Taking a nearby teleporter, she returned to what her visor indicated was her private Dreadzone containment area.
Back in her containment suite, Twilight discovered that it was rather sparse. There was a bed for her in the lab section, which would also allow her to upgrade battle bots if she had any. There was also Mission Control, where the silent automaton that had worked on her armor sent messages to her via her visor. Last but not least were the two space bus docks, one for the Battledome and one for other planet bases. In the center was an interface to let her view her scores, not that she really cared. A brief view of it informed her of a few of her future opponents. She saw a lot of hero names, and a few names in yellow that, according to the interface, were the Exterminators.
Max Force Destroyer Bio-Crusher
The names didn't mean anything to her, but she was sure they would before too long. She also noticed there was an automated weapons kiosk, complete with weapons, weapon mods, armor, and Omniwrench mods...all things that she could buy with the bolts she earned in the arena to make her more efficient in the arena...so she could get more bolts in the arena easier, to buy more stuff from the kiosk, to make her a more efficient gladiator...
There would never be an end.
She was rather unsurprised as a summons to the Battledome interrupted her musings. Sighing, she went to the transport to the arena.
As she reached the Battledome, a green skinned announcer with either antennae or horns in a blue suit began a speech about the previous combatants. "And it looks like Team Dark Star is making a huge success in the Dreadzone so far, not that such a streak can last long with the lineup we've got. Then again, a new contender always shakes things up a little." The camera zoomed out to show his red headed fembot cohost as well. The green alien then pulled out a piece of paper. "Next up we have...um, let me see here...Twilight Sparkle? Huh, never heard of her. Well, she's probably just intermission material folks, but don't worry! We have Black Tornado and Star Seeker coming up later, so stay tuned to Dreadzone!"
At that point, Twilight stepped into the arena, her head hanging with her helmet off.
"So...this is Twilight?" the green skinned alien asked. "She's tiny!"
"She's adorable!" the red headed fembot squealed.
"Someone had to say it, Juanita," the green skinned alien replied. "But I don't think she's going to be up to much."
"Don't be like that, Dallas," Juanita replied. "You never know with the cute ones."
Twilight sighed sadly. Not only did no one even know who she was...even being cute wasn't enough to get help. She was all on her own...all alone...
Her helmet snapped on before anyone could see any tears.
Twilight fought her way through the challenge presented to her, not letting herself take too much damage, but lacking the spark to make her really shine. She probably didn't look very good, but she didn't really care about that. When she reached the shielded turret, she simply ducked behind cover, levitated her Magma Cannon to behind it - where the shields didn't cover - and blasted away. She just...didn't care.
After that, she returned to her containment suite, sighing as she slumped into the bed. It wasn't even all that comfortable, a second rate mattress that felt like it had been stuffed with rocks, and a pillow that was practically flat. Not even a blanket.
Looking around, she saw no books. The computers didn't access any information networks beyond Vox Media. There was nothing to do except...fight. That was all she could do. Keep fighting.
No one would care if she won. No one would care if she died in battle. No one who cared about her back in Solana would know how or why she died. They might never even know. And...and she might never see Ratchet again.
Before long, the interplanetary transport arrived, plainly indicating she was to go to a new world to fight some more for the entertainment of the masses. Sighing, sniffling away her tears, she made her way to the transport, and selected the world that had been made available. Reading the instructions, she wasn't surprised to discover that any attempt to tamper with the controls would make it explode. There was no way out.
As Twilight came in to see a rather lovely world with gold skies, red land, and purple seas, Dallas began announcing the details. "It's a beautiful summer day on Attica Seven, Juanita, as we kick off a brand new season of Dreadzone's Second League! As you all know, the introduction of a second league was meant to balance Ace Hardlight's excessive success and give a few other competitors a chance to shine...before being ripped to shreds!"
"That's right, Dallas," Juanita replied. "The second league uses different worlds as combat stages, a different set of Exterminators, and the champion of each league gets to challenge Ace Hardlight! ...of course, if anyone actually manages to beat Hardlight, the champion of the leagues get to fight each other."
They were both silent for a time before bursting into laughter. "Like that could ever happen!" Dallas joked. "The Vox construction team have turned this world - once an idealistic vacation spot - into a deadly disaster course filled with pitfalls, laser traps, deadly mutated animals, and the chemically reanimated corpses of everyone who's ever been killed here, including previous heroes!"
"Well then, Dallas, let's see how little Twilight fares against the zombie hordes!" Juanita breathed eagerly.
Twilight stared around at the scenery that was so peaceful, her helmet off as she stared blankly at the beauty that disguised the deadly nature of the course. As her sorrow built up, she felt a pounding headache build just behind her horn. As the mutated animals and zombified former heroes began to rise and converge on her, she couldn't take it any more. She was surrounded by enemies trying to kill her, the announcers slandered her character as some kind of joke, and she was all alone for the first time since she was in quarantine in Bogon, and she'd hated that. She hated being alone...
Leaning her head back, she released all her magic at once as she shouted, "I WANT MY DADDY!!!"
The magic exploded out of her. The land tore upward as though ripped apart by a massive storm. Clouds swirled into miniature tornadoes that tore the Dreadzone structures apart as the seas boiled and parted. The creatures and zombies alternately vaporized or crystallized as magic blasted over them, the entire course tearing itself apart in a single massive blast.
As her magic left her completely, Twilight fell to the circle of untouched ground she sat on and burst into tears, curling up into a tight ball as she wept, the whole thing recorded by flying cameras that just happened to be in the right place at the right time to not be completely obliterated.
Up in the announcer box, Dallas swallowed convulsively. "Umm...Juanita?"
"Your spare trousers are in the back room," the fembot replied without taking her eyes off the devastation.
"Thanks!"
Gleeman Vox stared at the destruction caused by Twilight's outburst, practically salivating. "Glorious!" he breathed eagerly. "The ratings are going to skyrocket over that time bomb! I can hardly wait to see what the feedback is. I know how much the fans love carnage!"
"Uh...sir?" a robot said over the intercom. "You might want to take a look at this..."
"What is it?" Vox demanded angrily. "You know how I feel about interruptions when I'm scheming!"
"Well, sir...it's the latest focus group surveys regarding the new contestants...from the viewers..."
Vox groaned. "Customers!" he growled. "If I didn't need their bolts, I wouldn't put up with them...what is it?"
"Well...Twilight Sparkle has immediately become a fan favorite, but...the fans want to see her happy."
"Happy?" Vox bellowed. "Who cares about if the contestants are happy? They're supposed to be fighting to the death! When did this become a holo-drama?"
"Well, it's just..." The robot swallowed convulsively despite the absence of an esophagus. "There's already a petition on Space-Change, and...if her emotional situation isn't addressed by her next appearance...89 million viewers are going to boycott everything to do with Vox Media."
Gleeman blinked in shock. "89 million...how much of our viewership is that?"
"About...74%, sir. We'd go bankrupt within a month."
Gleeman Vox stared down at the figures being presented to him. "...so throw her a couple of scrap bots off the disposal line. She'll cling to anything if she's in this state. But I'm not putting her on Team Dark Star. I set up the whole second league just for that end game! I'm not throwing that out!"
"I might have a suggestion," a voice called from the corner of the office.
Vox rolled his eyes. "When did you grow a brain, champ?"
A chuckle greeted him. "Leave it to me, boss. I know just what to do here..."
Twilight curled up on her bed in her containment suite, sniffling. She hadn't made her own way back; a robot had been sent to collect her and deposit her back in her suite. She didn't really care, though. She was all alone here...and would likely remain that way, with only her thoughts and memories of happier times for company.
She idly wondered how long it would take her to snap and start talking to her wrench and guns?
A knock at the door to the bot lab where her bed was startled her, and she turned, surprised to see someone who was actually biological. He was roughly humanoid in shape, by appearance the same species type as Qwark. Narrow legs, broad shoulders, thinly muscled arms, garbed in red and black complimented by silver metal and glowing blue crystal. He wore no mask, but he did have a HUD visor pushed up towards the cowlick of his blond hair. A cape with what was obviously his symbol hung from his shoulders.
"Hear things are rough for ya, kid," he said without preamble, stepping in calmly.
Twilight backed up nervously. "W...who are you?"
"Ace Hardlight," the man replied.
"Oh," Twilight replied softly. "The champ..."
Ace nodded. "Yeah, that's me. Heard you just came in. First day's always the roughest."
"Does it really get easier?" Twilight asked, curling up in a tight ball, her wings folded around her as though trying to block out the world.
"Not alone, it doesn't," Ace replied. "You gotta have someone here to make things easier. Can't believe they stuck someone young as you in this alone. Whoever made that decision is gonna have to sing sweet to keep their job."
"Does...does that mean I'm going to be with Daddy?" Twilight asked hopefully.
Ace scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, I'm afraid that's something I can't quite pull off. Even as the champ, I don't have that much influence..."
Twilight's face fell, and she turned to curl back up on herself.
"But..." Ace continued. "I did manage to pull a few strings to get you some company that might help you be a...little less lonesome. Something to help cheer you up." He stepped aside from the door.
Two battle robots floated into the room. Both looked rather old and beaten up, probably days - if not hours - away from being scrapped. One of them held a sniper rifle, and was somewhat scrunched in on himself. The other - a fembot - carried a pair of wrist mounted flamethrowers with a fuel tank strapped to her back.
"They don't get much use, since they're specialized," Ace explained. "But both their personality cores are quite unique, so they should provide good company." He gestured towards the flame wielding fembot. "From what I hear, she was actually a caretaker bot, before she got reconfigured for combat."
Twilight got to her hooves, taking a look at her new battle bots. She then smiled up at Ace Hardlight. "T-thanks," she stammered.
"Don't mention it, kid," he replied easily. "Seriously, don't. I've got a rep to maintain."
Stifling a giggle, Twilight turned to the sniper. "I'm Twilight Sparkle. What's your name?"
"Who?" the sniper responded.
Twilight blinked. "You. Your name."
"Who?"
"I'm talking to you."
"Who?"
"The sniper robot right in front of me!"
"Who?"
"The-"
The fembot held up one hand. "That's all he can say, Twilight," she pointed out. "He has a defective voice box, and refuses to let anyone replace it."
Twilight blinked at that for a bit, then giggled. Turning, she noticed that the bot's faceplate flared back in an avian manner. "...I'm gonna call you Owloiscius," she stated firmly. She then turned to the fembot, noticing a certain reptilian cast of her face plate. "And...can I call you Barb?"
The fembot shrugged. "It's the best name I've been called in years," she replied. "Ever since I was just called 'Nana'."
Twilight smiled as she curled back up on her bed, shivering slightly against the cold. She flinched in surprise as something was wrapped around her.
Ace stepped back with a smile as he finished tucking his cape around her like a blanket. "Wouldn't be good for ratings if a rising star caught a cold," he joked.
Twilight smiled gently. Leaning up, she gave him a light peck on his cheek. "Thanks," she whispered. She giggled as she saw him pull back quickly and rub at his cheek like he'd just gotten cooties. As he turned to leave, Twilight turned to Barb. "So...you were a caretaker bot?"
"Nursemaid bot, to be specific," Barb replied. "Took care of the children on an agro-colony while the adults were in the fields...at least, I did until the Thunder Soldiers broke my old body to bits and sold me for scrap."
Twilight gasped. "Oh my gosh! You're the nursemaid bot that raised Daddy! You remember him, right? Little Lombax named Ratchet?"
Barb blinked. "No way he can have a kid your age already! He can't be 20 yet!"
Twilight laughed eagerly as she started telling Barb about her Daddy, and hearing stories of Ratchet's childhood in return. It was almost as good as having him with her.
Vox raised an eyebrow as Ace Hardlight stepped into his office. "What was all that schmaltz about?" he demanded, gesturing at the feed from the cameras locked on Twilight's containment suite.
Ace smirked. "Hey, she's happy with a couple scraps, and she'll put on a good show when she fights. That's what you wanted, right?"
"But what was with that...bonding?" Gleeman demanded, gagging on the last word.
Hardlight chuckled. "You said the reason my merchandise wasn't selling was because I had no charisma, right? And if I couldn't sell it, you'd find someone who could?" He gestured to where Twilight was snuggling into the Ace Hardlight cape. "How are sales on that since this broadcast?"
Vox glanced at some of his figures. "...huh. All Ace Hardlight sales are up 10%...and the capes are up 45%." He raised an eyebrow. "Is that what all that was? Just using her to boost sales?"
"Course it was," Ace replied. "You didn't think I'd gone soft, did you?"
Vox threw his head back and laughed. "Not bad, champ! Not bad at all. How'd you know it would work?"
"All those complaints about her being sad when she wanted her Pops," Ace replied. "Knew she'd cling to anyone showing her any sort of consideration...and the fans would cling to anyone she clung to."
Vox rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Brilliant! It seems you have a brain in your head after all, champ! Keep this up, and I might actually start making money off you again!"
Ace waved his hand dismissively as he left the office. Halfway back to his own chambers, however, his walk slowed. When he'd told Twilight he 'pulled some strings' for her, he knew he had been lying through his teeth. When he'd been talking to Vox just now, he'd been saying what he genuinely believed to be the truth: using Twilight to boost his own rep.
So why was it the conversation with Vox that made him feel dirty?
While waiting for when she would next be sent out to fight somewhere, Twilight decided to make good use of her time by repairing Barb and Owloiscius. "I may not be an accredited roboticist," she had told them, "but the least I can do is make sure you won't fall apart before the first shot." As she had worked, she had done her best to learn about her new robotic companions.
Owloiscius' story was mostly guesswork, as he still refused to have his voice box replaced. He apparently liked not being able to say anything but 'who'. However, the Megacorp logo on his personality core, the bite marks on his voice box, and the blue fur stuck here and there in his circuitry strongly suggested to Twilight that he had been on Planet Yeedil while she was in 'quarantine', and had been wrecked when Mr. Fuzzy-Biter and his fellows had staged their revolt. His terrified reaction at even the mention of 'Protopet' confirmed that deduction.
Barb's story was equally straight forward. When the Thunder Soldiers had destroyed her, she'd been sold for scrap. Her personality and memory core had been bought by Vox Media and stuck in her present body, and she'd been struggling to stay functional ever since. She was, however, able to mix up surprisingly high quality meals with the very limited ingredients they were provided for Twilight's regular meals.
When they weren't working on upgrades, practicing combat, or telling stories, they watched the Vox Media commercials. Sometimes they were informative as far as what would come. This was especially true of announcements related to her league.
"And now for a Vox Sports Update!" Dallas proclaimed on screen. "Dreadzone's extermination of the day award goes to Max Force, for his triple spin pile driver Tombstone special technique on Galactic Crush!"
A smaller screen within the large screen displayed a cyborg not much larger than Qwark hefting a massive android hero in an insane flip through the air before slamming it into the ground hard enough to break it in half right at the center of the spine. There was a visible dent in the arena at the site of the impact, and it was hard to tell if the strike did more damage to the fighter or the ground. Neither, however, would be fixed easily.
"It was quite a lovely finish, Dallas," Juanita agreed. "And it marks Max Force's third victory as an Exterminator, having only recently joined the squad for the new Second League."
"Why don't we see what he has to say on the subject?" Dallas suggested.
"I can answer that already," Juanita pointed out. "Max Force never speaks. No one knows why."
"Well one thing I do know!" Dallas countered. "Team Vampony won't last long against him. No one does."
"Team Vampony?' Juanita demanded. "Which team is that?"
"It's what they named little Twilight Sparkle's team after she got her own battle bots," Dallas explained. "Someone in marketing thought it would appeal to the 12-24 female demographic, for some reason."
"...I don't get it," Twilight said finally after that update played. She opened her mouth wide to look at her reflection. "Should I be wearing plastic fangs or something?"
Barb was silent, though Owloiscius was hooting hysterically. "How old are you, dear?" Barb asked.
"Ten," Twilight replied.
"That's why you don't get it," Barb replied in relief. "Don't worry about it. It's just someone's idea of a bad joke."
It wasn't long before Twilight's team was sent to their next world for combat, and she listened carefully to the announcement regarding the world.
"Folks we're live tonight from the dark planet of Noctus, where Max Force and his forces have turned the City of Night into their penultimate arena!"
As Dallas made his announcement, Twilight watched the city she was approaching. The planet itself couldn't really be called that. It didn't have a sun of its own, and existed in perpetual darkness save for the light of the stars. The city itself was an ancient structure of black rock, soaring majestically over the cratered surface, any details invisible in the blackness.
Dallas continued his announcement. "The only light Team Vampony will have going in will be that which they bring with them, and it will only last for so long. The hazards of this world include hidden pitfalls, black geysers, and of course the invincible grues. According to legend, this is their homeworld...if you believe they exist. At any rate, despite the dangers, Twilight and company will have to ration their light in their approach to the Black Keep, which is thankfully illuminated properly."
"And thankfully for the viewers at home," Juanita added, "Dreadzone is using special darklight cameras to record the action on the outside of this world, so viewers at home can see everything!"
"Except the grues," Dallas corrected. "Assuming they exist, they've never been seen on camera. No one knows why."
Twilight smirked as she led her bots off the transport. This was going to be...interesting. "Ration your lights, everyone," she stated firmly. "let your optics adjust as best you can, and test your footing." She thought for a bit, then suddenly grinned. "Owloiscius, sing for us."
As the sniper bot sang out in endless sequence of "Who"s, Twilight tweaked her optic scanners until she had it equipped for sonar. Keying it to the frequency of Owloiscius' voice box - which she discovered operated on hypersonic wavelengths as well as normal - she started to lead her team through the grim landscape.
Max Force paced back and forth in his arena, waiting for his opponents. He was leanly built, looking not unlike the T-800 model Terminator with how his cybernetics met his flesh. Despite now being little more than a hired killer, he still wore his dog tags. He took these fights seriously. It was the only place he could avoid being sent back to war.
He was caught off guard by a loud roar, followed by something massive crashing through the wall and into his arena. He had no idea how to describe the creature besides being absolutely...gruesome.
Twilight slid off her mount with a smile. "Good boy," she said happily, scritching it behind what - for the sake of sanity - would have to be called an ear. "Thanks for the lift!"
The grue - for that's what it had to have been - leapt out of the hole in the Keep. The hole then somehow sealed itself up as Twilight turned to face Max Force. "Shall we get this started?"
Shrugging his shock aside, Max nodded, pounding his clenched fist into his metal palm. He then leapt into battle.
While Max Force leapt full force into battle, using both wrestling moves and wrist mounted flame throwers to try and gain advantage, Twilight countered with her own energy shields, her weapons, and back up from Barb and Owloiscius. While the fight seemed rather even, Twilight was far more maneuverable than Max Force, and had a great deal more energy.
As Max Force's cybernetics began to glitch from overheating, Juanita shouted from the announcer's box, "Give him the chair!"
Grinning, Twilight ripped Dallas' chair from the announcer's box and smashed it over Max Force's back, knocking him into stasis.
"And victory for Team Vampony!" Dallas announced. "...but seriously, why did it have to be my chair? I'd just gotten the seat shaped to my buttocks..."
Back at her containment suite, Twilight focused on cleaning her weapons, reloading them, and maintaining her robot companions. However, she was caught off guard when Max Force knocked on the door. "Umm..." she began. "You aren't upset about losing...are you?"
Max Force shook his head, smiling. Kneeling down, he held out a bouquet of flowers that were black as night, with moon pale stems.
Twilight gasped as she caught sight of them. "Nightshadows..." she breathed. "But...they're supposed to be extinct!"
Max pointed towards Noctus.
"They grow there?" When Max shook his head in response, Twilight's eyes widened even further. "You grow them there?" At the nod, she stared at the flowers in amazement. "They're...they're beautiful..."
With a soft smile, Force plucked one flower from the bouquet and held it out to her.
Carefully, Twilight consumed the delicate, priceless blossom. "It's...it's delicious..." she breathed.
Smiling, Max Force set the bouquet in a basin of water so the flowers would stay fresh, then put them under a shade to block out light so they wouldn't wilt. In the darkness, the stems glowed, casting a monochrome rainbow on the petals. He then turned to leave with a smile as Twilight stared at the flowers in fascination.
The next trial Twilight and her team faced was the Avenger Tournament, a sequence of battles and challenges that she had to face one after another without breaks to achieve the rank of Avenger, which would allow her to take on more challenges. While at first the depression of 'no escape' started to kick in again, Twilight was able to hold it at bay by convincing herself it was no different than when she had been clearing all the challenges at Annihilation Nation. She was just buying time until a solution presented itself.
The first challenge of the Avenger Tournament was a series of timed battles against waves of robotic and biological enemies. Even with her unable to use her telekinetic abilities directly against her opponents due to concern of triggering the collar, it still went quite rapidly and easily. Rather than take out the small enemies the dropships brought in, she focused on obliterating the dropships as they came in. Since she'd taken the time to tweak her weapons as well as those of Owloiscius and Barb, the firepower she brought to bear was quite heavy.
After that was a sequence of obstacle courses lined with enemies that leapt out to attack them. This proved relatively easy for Twilight, especially since Barb and Owloiscius would warp to her if she got too far ahead, and she was a very small, fast target. In this course, she also discovered that having her battle bots be specialized made for a rather large advantage, as long as they functioned well. Since each bot was given different ability sets, rather than each having all the same, they each had different sets of commands. As such, she'd dispensed with issuing commands entirely - save when she had to send a self repair signal, which was infrequent, or a recall signal to have them back her up - and let them decide their own battle strategy completely.
She had given Barb the bolt crank interface. While she turned a bolt crank with one arm, she kept the other flamethrower going to her outside. This made it so she couldn't be attacked while she was doing so. Owloiscius got the EMP launcher, which he was able to launch at a much greater range than normal bots by loading the ammo into his sniper rifle.
Climbing the Tower section also proved easy for Twilight. Even though she wasn't allowed to straight up fly, the heat from the disintegration fields that covered much of the lower levels was more than enough to create thermals that turned her extra flap of her wings into a huge boost in altitude. Reaching the top of the Tower, the group obliterated the enemies atop, clearing the challenge.
Twilight glanced at the new green tint to her armor. "I'm...not so sure green's my color," she commented dryly. "Well, I guess I'll just have to get used to it...or clear the next Tournament challenge to get the next armor color."
"Now that's the right way to look at it," Ace Hardlight said from the doorway, a covered dish in his hands.
"Ace!" she called happily, turning to him. "I didn't think I'd warrant this much of the champ's attention."
He shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? Hanging with you makes me feel good about myself."
Twilight chuckled as he came in. "Now you're sounding like Captain Qwark," she joked.
"Oh please don't compare me to that moron!" Ace groaned as he took a seat.
"He's not that bad anymore!" Twilight pointed out.
"And you probably had a lot to do with that, am I right?" When she didn't respond, Ace set the covered dish down in front of her. "Decided to bring you something to celebrate your victory in the Avenger Tournament. Few competitors have ever managed that, so you deserve a special treat." With a grin, he lifted the cover of the dish.
Twilight gasped. "Is that...shrimp scampi?"
Ace chuckled. "Served over angel hair pasta with broccolini, asparagus, roasted red and yellow pepper strips, and a Caesar salad on the side. I looked up your bio, and knew it was your favorites. Told the chefs to make it for me - the champ gets hand prepared food of the best stuff - and snuck it over here for you."
Twilight smiled, tearing up a little. "Thank you," she whispered, hugging Ace around the leg before diving in.
Ace chuckled, watching her getting sauce all over her face. "Why don't we see what's on TV that's not Dreadzone, huh?" he offered, turning on the screen.
The camera zoomed in on a ground bound fortress made of stone, on what looked like a desert planet, or at least a continent. Vox's voice spoke up. "We here at Vox Network know how much our viewers love guns, violence, explosions and bloodshed. But we also know you have a softer side, and every so often, you want a story of the bond between parent and child. ...so we've found a way to put them together!"
The entire fortress erupted in explosions and gunfire.
"See the struggle for survival of hardened warriors who have known nothing but killing for their entire lives!"
Groups in red and blue - who beyond colors, seemed indistinguishable from each other - clashed in war.
"See the tiny infant that warms their hardened hearts!"
"Wuvoo, Dada!" a tiny yellow pegasus said to the camera.
"See her kick ass!"
The same pony could be seen slaughtering several enemies. "Nobody - and I mean nobody - Hurts! My! FAMILY! ...you got that?"
"While still staying just as cute and adorable!" Vox continued.
The camera showed the filly - now older - saluting. "Reporting for duty, General Daddy Sir!"
"And just for fun, some gender confusion drama, because who doesn't like awkward comedy!"
"He Mama!" the filly - now much younger again - said as she pointed to a red wearing, masked warrior wearing an apron.
"Don't miss a minute of this action packed adorableness in...Fortresshy: The Nine Fathers!" The logo for the show appeared. "Only...on Vox Network!"
Ace stared at the screen. "Did...did they just rip you off?" He glanced towards the horned, winged filly beside him, expecting her to be angry.
Instead, he found her staring at the screen in confusion. "That filly...she seemed...familiar..."
"She was CGI," Ace pointed out. "They don't actually have a Pegasus filly to film."
"Oh..." Twilight was silent for a time. "...still might watch it."
The cameras panned in across lakes of lava and tiny floating platforms of rock, with a massive fortress just visible off in the distance. "Tonight on Dreadzone!" Dallas began his announcement. "Team Vampony embarks on a perilous journey through the lava fields of the molten planet Mag'nos!" The camera zoomed in on the massive landstalker tank - an armored blue cockpit with blasters and rocket launchers on top, lifted off the ground on four spider like silver metal legs - as Twilight approached it. "Twilight and her bots will need to use the landstalker tank to clear the lava fields, as its the only thing that can cross the vast fields. In order to keep things interesting, Twilight has been restricted from flying at all. I mean, where would be the fun in watching her coast over the entire planet on the thermals, am I right?"
"Right you are, Dallas," Juanita replied as the camera focused on Twilight's actions. "And Twilight certainly seems to have caught on quick, and is familiarizing herself with the landstalker's controls-" Juanita paused. "Did...did she just rip the blasters off the top of the tank?"
"It certainly looks that way, Juanita," Dallas pointed out. "And she seems to have ripped the heat sinks off the legs that let the landstalker walk on lava. I have no idea what she's thinking, and I'm not even sure if this is according to the rules-" Dallas paused. "Wait, just got this in. Apparently she is allowed to modify the various vehicles she comes across, as long as she only uses the parts the vehicle is originally equipped with in the finished project. Apparently, she's a known super inventor, and watching her tinker is half the fun for the audience."
"Well, from the looks of things Dallas, she's strapped the blasters to the front set of legs, sharpened the rear set of legs into blades, and strapped the heat sinks to the bottom of the cockpit," Juanita pointed out. "Any ideas what she's trying to do?"
"Can't say I've got a clue, Juanita," Dallas allowed. "I mean, with the legs turned into weapons and unprotected from the lava, the only way she'll make it to the fortress is if she can make the landstalker fly!"
Dallas and Juanita laughed for a time...only for their laughter to die down.
"Dallas...that landstaker is flying over the lava," Juanita pointed out.
"Getting some pretty good altitude, too," Dallas added.
"And...the guns strapped to the front legs are locking onto things much more accurately," Juanita allowed.
"Oh! Did you see the way that magma beast got split in half by the blade legs?" Dallas asked. "Brutal."
"And there go those rockets," Juanita marveled. "I think she upped the payload on those. I do not recall them blowing up that big normally."
"So...think the next planet will be anymore of a challenge for her?" Dallas asked. "Pretty sure she just flattened this one."
The cameras remained fixed as the view blinked from one underground cavern to another. "We're here on the undead planet of Zo'beh," Dallas explained. "Due to a strange concatenation of celestial circumstances, spatial radiation has made the surface of this planet completely uninhabitable...while unimaginable forms of life have developed in the tunnels that honeycomb the inside of the world. Deep inside this maze of tunnels, Dreadzone has hidden a statuette of Ace Hardlight in a secret chamber! Twilight will have to search through the entirety of the tunnels, tracking the statue via only the subharmonic echoes it gives off, and hoping she doesn't come across the more dangerous forms of life!"
"...or she could just convert her Omniwrench into a drill and dig her way straight to it," Juanita pointed out.
"Well, sure there's that possibility," Dallas admitted. "But what's the chance of- oh, she just did that, didn't she?"
"Alright Dreadzone fans!" Dallas called out as the cameras zoomed up the Tower of Power. "Prepare for the Ultimate Showdown as Team Vampony fights their way through the Crusader Tournament, and a chance to take on the new, top of the line, all star Exterminator...Destroyer!"
Twilight and her battle bots braced themselves as wave after wave of enemies charged onto the playing field. The first challenge in this tournament she was given was the limited weapon challenge she was so fond of in Annihilation Nation. The weapon she was given to use was the Hunter Mine Launcher she had purchased from the vendor...and then promptly tweaked to her tastes when she was bored. Each individual mine now burst into four smaller mines, which each would burst into four smaller mines. Each smaller mine exploded with one fourth the explosive damage of the one it burst from...but also release the same dose of heavily modified acid which ate through everything it came into contact with except the arena. The round did not last long.
The next challenge involved shutting down four control nodes before they triggered her collar to go off, while also fighting off swarms of enemies. Twilight had fun with this one as she raced around the arena blasting away while Barb focused on the nodes. Owloiscius stayed back, guarding both their backs with well placed shots.
With that challenge concluded, Destroyer made his appearance. He was easily 50 feet tall with a tiny head that was a single eye in a swivel ball. His entire body was covered with weaponry of all sorts, and his exact coloration could not be determined with how the weaponry constantly shifted around. "Surrender now if you want to live!" he ordered, his voice monotone and synthesized.
Yelping, Twilight leapt for cover as the weapons primed. "Hasta la vista, pony!" Destroyer stated, opening up with a massive salvo from all of his weapons.
"Well, I guess we can say goodbye to Twilight Sparkle," Dallas pointed out. "There's no way anyone can survive Destroyer's onslaught-"
Loud pops and snaps filled the air as explosive impacts hit Destroyer's body, causing the weapons to fall off one by one.
"She's taking out his arsenal!" Juanita gasped in shock. "What a clever little fighter!"
After a time of massive explosions, nearly all of Destroyer's weapons were scrap on the ground, scattered about the arena. However, there was also no sound of a counter attack from Twilight. Destroyer pounded one fist into the other palm as he started to step forward carefully.
"I know what you're thinking," Twilight spoke up suddenly. "Did she fire all her ammo? Or is she just stalling for a good shot? You know, in all the excitement, I lost count of how many shots I had left on all my weapons, and the ammo read out on my HUD is damaged from the shockwaves. But that's not the question you should be asking.
"See, I'm a mad genius tinkerer in my own right," she continued, still unrevealed. "I've been known to turn just about anything into a weapon, as long as I have my trusty Omniwrench for a tool. And here I am, surrounded by all this scrap metal that used to be weapons. It'd be a real stroke of luck for you if I couldn't turn all this into something to tear you to shreds.
"So what you should be asking is...do you feel lucky?"
On that last word, Twilight leapt out from under cover and into the air, her Omniwrench clutched in her magical aura. She kicked the base with one forehoof, and it spun. As the base ratchet spun, the head of the wrench opened wide, and then folded outward. A thick, blue, energy blade erupted from between the two prongs of the wrench head.
With two slashes, Twilight had beheaded and bisected the Destroyer. As she landed, she caught his falling head in one hoof. "Well?" she asked. "Do you...Yorick?"
"I'll be...back..." the head spoke before its light went dim. As the two halves of the body fell and exploded, her Omniwrench returned to its normal configuration.
Gleeman Vox slammed his hands down on his desk. "How?" he demanded. "How is she so damn good? She's trouncing everything I can throw her way...and she makes it look good!"
"Isn't that why you picked her?" Ace asked from the other side of the desk, focusing on something in his hands.
"But the fans will get bored if everything goes so easily for her!" Vox pointed out.
"Last I checked, her popularity was only rivaled by Ratchet's, and sales of Barb and Owloiscius figurines have eclipsed literally anything else you're selling," Ace countered, still not looking up. "And that's only because you haven't signed a contract with her to produce Twilight Sparkle merchandise yet."
Vox was about to rant further when he noticed that Ace wasn't really paying attention. "What are you doing?" he demanded. "Is...is that needlepoint?"
"Crochet, actually," Ace countered, holding up a sweater the exact shade of red of his armor. In silver outlined blue text, the front of it read, 'Congrats, Cutie Mark Crusader!' "Made it for Twilight."
"I can see that," Vox pointed out. "It's too small for anyone else to wear, and you left wing holes. But why 'Cutie Mark Crusader'?"
"Well, she just won the Crusader Tournament," Ace explained. "The 'Cutie Mark' bit was something I heard on that new Fortresshy show that's been playing between tournaments. Since she really likes it, thought it fit."
"Why are you hand making it?" Vox demanded. "Why not get a machine to make it?"
"Because she can tell the difference," Ace countered. "And I haven't had an excuse to sew since I became champ. ...think she'll like it?"
Vox struggled to not strangle his champ. "Why should I care if she likes it?"
"Because if she does, you can sell factory made knock offs at premium prices," Ace pointed out.
Vox paused as he was about to launch into a counter rant. "Huh. You're right." He shrugged. "You're giving it to her. With how you've cultivated her needful heart, she'll like anything you give to her. You could skin my pet slug thing and make it into a hat, and she'd adore it. ...wonder if there's a market for that?"
Said pet slug thing gave off a highly offended squeal. Rolling his eyes, Ace headed off to give the completed sweater to Twilight...feeling dirty for how crass he made the gift sound.
When the time came for Twilight to hit the next off station course, the hype was high. The cameras panned over a massive field of asteroids floating back and forth, in constant motion around each other. Each asteroid had several launch pads on it, highly charged.
Dallas began his introduction. "We're live from the Hexadon Asteroid Belt. Unique in any explored region of space, each of the asteroids in the belt have an intense, highly localized gravitational field, making it impossible for anyone standing on one to jump without utilizing one of the rocket jump pads scattered throughout the Belt. Twilight will have to navigate her way from the landing point to the exit while dealing with the intense gravity slowing her down. Not only that, she can't take her time, as she only has so much air in her tanks...and the only refill points are at the entrance and exit to this maze."
"And if she's not careful in timing her launches," Juanita pointed out, "she'll shoot off into space, never to be seen again."
"Well, it looks like Twilight's ready to begin her run," Dallas commented. "She's launching, and...she's missed the first asteroid by such a small margin! What a lethal miscalcu-...what's happening?"
"It...it appears she shot close enough to the asteroid to be caught in the asteroid's gravity well," Juanita explained, "but not so close as to be dragged to its surface. She's...slingshot around it!"
"Well, that's an interesting strategy, but won't do much good unless she plans to slingshot around all the asteroids all the way to the exit!" Dallas laughed. "She has to throw several switches on her way to the end of the course to open the exit, as well as destroy several enemies holding keys, which she can't really do as she goes flying by, now can she?"
"She just did," Juanita pointed out. "She used the recoil from her guns to correct course while obliterating the key enemies, sending her battle bots down as she passes to activate switches and collect the keys."
"And...she appears to have completed the course in under a minute," Dallas allowed as Twilight reached the end of the course.
"What was this filly's IQ again?" Juanita asked.
"It's over 9000-"
Juanita promptly smacked Dallas in the back of the head. "Be serious, Dallas."
"I am being serious!" Dallas countered. "She's rated on the Terachnoid IQ scale!"
As the cameras zoomed in on the next course, Dallas' tone was somewhat bored. "And now we're live from the mobile planetary fortress Primus, an artificial Dyson Sphere originally designed to be a space colony, then transformed into a battle fortress, and now acquired by Dreadzone as a new death course has Twilight cleared it yet?"
"Not yet," Juanita pointed out.
"I guess I have to read the goal here then," Dallas continued, still sounding bored. "In this course, Team Vampony will have to ride the transport vehicles of Primus throughout the sphere, making their way to the center in order to disengage the self-destruct and use the escape pod to make it back to the surface and is she out yet?"
"No, she's not out yet," Juanita replied.
"What's taking her so long?" Dallas demanded.
"She already disabled the self destruct, but she's hotwired the gravity generators and the transport systems to turn the entire sphere's interior into a combination roller coaster and shooting gallery."
Dallas was silent for a time. "...god, that's adorable."
Back in Dreadzone, Twilight braced herself in the arena alongside Barb and Owliscious, waiting for the next Tournament to begin. Dallas began his announcement. "Due to what can only be described as game breaking adorable shenanigans, Twilight has made it all the way to the Vindicator Tournament. But, before she earns the rank of Vindicator, she'll have to survive the Battledome's deadliest challenges yet, and then take on the Bio-Crusher!"
Twilight smiled to herself as she prepared herself for the battles ahead. The first round was weapon cycling, which Twilight had no trouble with...especially since it meant she had no ammo limits. She just went nuts blasting everything in sight with whatever weapon she had at the time, giggling all the while.
The next challenge involved dodging bombs while blasting away at enemies, this time with her choice of weapons and the usual ammo limits. This proved challenging as she didn't get much warning before the bomb hit the ground, although her small size meant rolling to safety was much easier. Thankfully, the challenge only lasted for a specific period of time.
After that, Dallas and Juanita came in on the announcer's mobile box. "Welcome to the matchup of a lifetime, Dreadzone fans!" Dallas proclaimed. "Our challenger, a shining star of adorable badassery, here's...Twilight!"
Blushing, Twilight waved to the cheering crowd.
"Her opponent is a creation of science gone terribly wrong," Juanita explained. "Created specifically for this competition, it is the beast's first battle, so we'll just have to see how it stands up against Twilight! Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome...the Bio-Crusher!"
A massive roar tore through the arena. A cage was wheeled out, a frenzied beast contained within. It looked like someone had crossed a gorilla with a lizard, gave it a lion's mane, and then fused razor blades to every part of its body it could fit. The blades stretched out several feet, and the flesh around the metal blades constantly wept blood. Its eyes were blood red with madness, and its mouth were full of fangs that dripped acid. As the cage was opened, the beast leapt out, smashing the bots that had handled the cage.
The beast just so happened to be 30 feet tall, pure muscle and bone and bio-metal.
Twilight, however, couldn't look away from the beast's eyes. She recognized the look. It was the same look Mr. Fuzzy-Biter had when she'd first met him, when too much of a brain chemical had driven him to madness and absolute agony. As the battle began, she ordered her bots not to fire as she dodged around the attacks, trying to learn the creature's patterns.
After a time, she was able to predict its movements, and leapt onto an extended arm as it took a swing. Racing up the arm - and dodging around tentacles that leapt out of the flesh to ensnare her - she reached the back of the beast's head and pressed her horn to it, diving into its mind.
As she had suspected, it was in continuous agony from its very existence. She had thought she could reduce the neurochemical production like she had with Mr. Fuzzy-Biter...but she quickly discovered that the high levels of that particular chemical were the only thing keeping it alive. If she reduced the production, it wouldn't be able to heal from the damage it did to itself just by moving.
It could either live in agony and madness...or die in agony and madness.
Pulling back, Twilight stared down at the creature, tears pouring from her eyes. "I...I'm so sorry," she whimpered, drawing her anti-matter sniper rifle. She placed it to the base of the beast's skull.
And pulled the trigger.
Ace was unsurprised when he found Twilight weeping in her containment suite, curled up tight inside her 'Congrats, Cutie Mark Crusader' sweater, worn over her new Vindicator armor, the black and orange not looking too good with either her purple coat or the red, blue, and silver of the sweater. He sat down beside her. "I take it that last fight was rough?" he asked, stroking the back of her neck.
"H...he was in constant pain," Twilight whispered through her tears. "He...he could never rest, never be comfortable...his very existence was agony. I...I couldn't fix him...couldn't help him...could...could only..." Her choked sobs continued.
Ace gently pulled her into his lap, holding her close. "You freed him from pain," he said softly. "Sometimes...that's all you can do..."
"But...but how do I..."
He placed a finger to her lips. "The pain will fade in time. Comfort yourself knowing that you do more good than harm, and that he would thank you if he could."
Twilight closed her eyes as she shivered. "I...I don't think I want to sleep tonight," she whimpered.
Ace chuckled as he wrapped the cape he gave her around her like a blanket. "Not even if I read you a bedtime story?" he asked, pulling out a genuine book with leather binding and paper pages.
Twilight gasped, and her face split into a wide grin.
Smiling, Ace opened the book. "’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves..." he began.
"Are...are those real words?" Twilight asked, her mouth twisting like she'd sucked a lemon.
Ace shook his head. "Nah. The author made up a bunch of words just for this story. It's classic Literature from Old Earth."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Humans are weird."
"Hey!" Ace complained. "I resemble that remark!"
They shared a laugh before Ace continued to read her to peaceful sleep.
Cameras zoomed in on a sea of pink clouds, tornadoes rising out of them and approaching a delicate array of platforms hanging above the clouds, various housing groups and resource collectors hanging from the platforms. Screams could be heard from within the housing sections as lightning flashed from the windstorms.
Dallas began his introduction. "Welcome, Dreadzone fans, to the planet of Bigspins, the City in the Clouds. This city gathers resources and energy from the constant cloud storms of the gas giant to build itself up, power its weather shields and anti-grav units to keep it afloat, and run its industry! However, the weather shields have tragically been disabled, the primary anti-gravity generator is malfunctioning, and the city and its inhabitants run the risk of being obliterated! Can Twilight Sparkle disable the jamming devices, reactivate the weather shields, and repair the anti-gravity generators without falling to her death in the acidic storms of the planet?"
"She'd best work quick," Juanita replied. "The Dreadzone armor can only handle the acidic content of the storms for so long before it fails, and then she'll be eaten from the inside out as she inhales the acidic vapors."
"And she'll have to balance the power until the power collectors are back online," Dallas pointed out. "If she puts too much power into any one system, the others will fail...but the power collectors can't draw the lightning unless shielded from the acidic winds."
"Thankfully's she's been given a Landstalker to work with for a time," Juanita continued. "She can customize it...but she isn't allowed to do so once she finishes ducking inside, and-"
"And she's already fully customized it to draw power from the storms to fly around the city, break the jammer units, and repair things from the remote position," Dallas pointed out. "I have no idea how she made it do all that, but after seeing that chain lightning barrage she used to obliterate all the attacking robots, I want one!"
The cameras zoomed in on a frozen wasteland, the only buildings large grey blocks erupting from the ice and snow, covered in bars and energy fields. The frigid winds howled as they blew across the wastes, cold hardened killer robots patrolling the streets.
"Welcome Dreadzone fans," Dallas chattered. "This is the frozen prison planet Hura Pentre. Patrolled by killer robots programmed to obliterate anything not themselves outside the cells, Twilight has her work cut out for her. Her battle bot companions are sealed up in cells somewhere on the planet, and Twilight will need to free them, fight through the killer robots, and make her way to the escape shuttle to return to Dreadzone."
"In addition to that, the weather itself is against her," Juanita added. "The Dreadzone armor is only so effective against the cold and wind, and her wings are especially sensitive. If she's not careful, she will freeze to death."
"However, heat oases are scattered around here and there," Dallas explained. "She can hide out there to recover from the cold...if she can deal with all the vicious wildlife that also congregates there to deal with the cold."
"You know, I'm a bit surprised she's functioning at all without her battle bots," Juanita commented. "As I understand it, she does not do well alone, and those bots are the only things keeping her from breaking down like she did back on Attica Seven."
"A rather interesting story behind that," Dallas explained. "See, we've all noticed from the out of battle footage that the Dreadzone Champion, Ace Hardlight, has developed something of a soft spot for the little filly...so he went to Vox when it was her turn to face this challenge without her bots. For this challenge only, Ace Hardlight is acting as Twilight's spotter, coaching and encouraging her as she faces the challenge to recover her bots so she won't feel all alone."
Juanita gasped in surprise. "I had no idea Ace Hardlight had...such a compassionate heart. I can only imagine what could have possibly happened in his past to have made him such a cool, collected, merciless Exterminator as he's been in the past of Dreadzone."
"No idea, Juanita. He won't let us talk about it. Perhaps a secret shame?"
"What part of 'not talking about it' do you not get, Dallas?" Juanita demanded, smacking Dallas upside the head as Twilight pursued the challenge.
"Is...is she snuggling a Frost Beast?" Dallas asked as the cameras zoomed in, showing Twilight cuddling with a creature that looked like a cross between a polar bear, a lion, and a gorilla, a mouth full of razor sharp teeth pulled into a goofy grin and two hands full of claws gently stroking Twilight's mane. The creature was also the size of the Dreadzone transport ships.
"That is just too precious," Junaita cooed.
"And now it's stuck her in its mane and is rampaging through the prison," Dallas replied. "It's the grue all over again, but on a larger scale."
"I guess she's just too cute for wild animals," Juanita allowed.
Back in the Battledome alongside Barb and Owloiscius, Twilight faced off against the Liberator Tournament. The first round was another Cycling Weapon challenge in the arena, which Twilight handled easily. The following round caused her armor and weapons to function faster and faster the more enemies she killed. Towards the end, she was having difficulty keeping up with her own tech, but she managed to clear the challenge.
She expected to face off against Ace Hardlight after that. In fact, she had been looking forward to it. However, instead, she was simply handed her new Liberator armor in black and gold and sent back to her containment suite.
Back in her suite, Twilight paced back and forth in confusion. "No Ace in the Liberator Tournament?" she asked in confusion. "No contact from him afterwards? Wha...what's going on? Why hasn't he...?" She shivered a bit, cuddling up to Barb.
Barb's communicator beeped. "...Twilight?" she said nervously. "You've...you've been called to Gleeman Vox's office...at your convenience..."
As Twilight stepped into Vox's office, she didn't know what she expected. Many possibilities had occurred to her mind. Perhaps she was about to enter a new level of arena combat. Perhaps she was going to be reassigned in the leagues now that she was a Liberator. Maybe he was going to gloat about how far she'd come. Given how money oriented everything she'd seen had been, she'd even considered the possibility that Vox was going to try and get her to sign a contract to let him sell merchandise of her.
What she did not expect to see was the shark faced head of Dreadzone looking down at her somberly, a look of obscure pain on his face. "Come in, Twilight," he said softly. He gestured to a seat in front of his desk. "You should sit down for this. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of...bad news."
Confused, Twilight climbed into the chair. Everything she'd seen of Gleeman Vox on the screens screamed at her instincts that something was seriously off here. The gloating, conniving, manipulative, money grubbing maniac did not fit this somber faced gentleman. One of the two had to be a facade, and it felt like this one should be. She did her best to be on her guard, and decided to probe with a question to try and set the pace of the conversation. "How come I didn't fight Ace at the end of the Liberator Tournament?" she asked.
Vox closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face. "Because he fought in the Liberator Tournament of the original league first...and the champion of that league - the new champion of Dreadzone - murdered him in the ring."
Twilight gasped in shock. "But...but Daddy wouldn't do that..."
"It wasn't your father," Vox said quickly. "You're right that he wouldn't do something like that."
"But..." Twilight began, tears in her eyes. "But Daddy was in the other league..."
Vox covered his eyes with his robotic hand. "I wanted to ease you into this..." he murmured. "I'm sorry, but...Team Dark Star has been...eliminated. By the new champ."
Tears began to pour down Twilight's face. "No..." she whispered. "Daddy...Clank...they can't be..."
"I'm afraid it happened early on," Vox said softly. "It...when it happened, Ace decided to take you under his wing. He...hoped that by the time he had to tell you, you'd be close enough to him that he could help you through your grief. And now this..." Vox closed his eyes, tears visibly beading the corners as though he were struggling to hold back tears of his own. "I wish I could help you more...but I've lost one of my own closest friends now, too. Ace...he was more than just the champ..."
Within her own grief, Twilight made the connection. This was why Vox was acting so different from before. She struggled to marshal her grief...and found a flicker of rage beginning to burn inside her. "...if he's the new champ," she whispered, "when do I face him in the arena?"
"He's not, technically," Vox replied. "To be the champ, the winner of the tournament has to sign a contract with Vox Media, so we can properly represent them. He refused to sign the contract. And..." He shuddered a bit. "From what I've picked up in chatter, he intends something rather horrible."
"What?" Twilight asked, the tiny flicker starting to burn a bit brighter inside. "What could be more horrible than what he's already done?"
"There have been several attempts to hack into the Dreadzone network from inside," Vox explained. "I haven't been able to get a trace on the point of origin, but given how much of the Dreadzone related tech has been hacked around him, I have reason to believe it's him. If that's the case, he's been looking at specs for the Dreadzone itself...floor plans, customer density flow charts, the physical location of the central computer...and the protocols to initiate the self destruct program."
Twilight's eyes widened. "Why the heck does this station have a self destruct program?" she demanded, her sense of logic temporarily overriding her emotions. "That doesn't make any sense!"
"It used to be a military outpost before it got decommissioned," Vox explained. "I bought it up cheap, but the self destruct can't be deprogrammed, or the bombs it's connected to disconnected. It's hardwired in."
"Oh..." Twilight replied. She floundered for a bit, her mind reeling between logic and emotion.
"As best I'm able to determine," Vox continued, "he plans to set off the self destruct when the station is most populated, creating a massive massacre."
"Then he needs to be stopped!" Twilight insisted.
"I've been trying!" Vox replied desperately. "But his Deadbolt collar's been rewired so any signal sent to it redirects to a different collar, and nobody I have working for me is tough enough to take him down! He's biding time now - I've even sent him into the hardest course ever designed for Dreadzone...one that calculations prove to be mathematically impossible!"
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Why do you even have a course like that?"
Vox glanced away. "...Ace asked for it to be made...for you." At Twilight's confused grunt, Vox continued. "You've been clearing every challenge we send your way so easily...Ace wanted to give you a real challenge of a course for after you beat him, before you took the mantle of champ." Vox chuckled softly. "Ace was so certain you'd beat him someday...and he told me that he enjoyed being your spotter on your last gauntlet run so much that...starting with that new course, he was going to retire from active combat in the arenas after you took his title...to work permanently as your spotter."
Twilight remained silent. She wanted to cry, for Ratchet, for Clank, for Ace, for the life she could never go back to now...but she couldn't find the tears. The flames of rage were burning too hot for tears, but they were without direction.
Vox sighed. "But with how he's been progressing, he might just clear that 'unbeatable' challenge...and then there'll be nothing to stop him from destroying everyone..."
"Except me," Twilight said quietly.
"Eh?" Vox asked, seemingly caught off guard.
"You know the path he's going to take to try and set off the self destruct?" Twilight asked. "Put me on it. I'll end him. I'll make him pay."
Vox shook his head. "I can't," he said softly. "The security protocol in there is quite strict. A Liberator can't go in there. He's going to have to disable it before he can go in, and if I disable it sooner, he'll know we're onto him. And I'm all out of Exterminators to send-"
"Then make me an Exterminator!" Twilight snapped, stomping her hoof. The chair buckled from the impact, barely staying intact.
Vox stared at her for a time, then pulled out a contract. "To keep all the protocols intact, we'll have to go by the protocol. Just sign here-"
Before he'd even finished speaking, Twilight had signed the contract. "Now what?"
Vox smiled softly as he pulled the contract back. "A new color scheme," he replied.
Twilight's armor flashed. The Liberator suit had been black and gold. The Exterminator colors were silver and red.
"One of the Exterminator bots will show you where to go," Vox explained. "You won't be able to bring your battle bots with you, though."
Twilight nodded. "I'll handle it," she said firmly.
As she turned to go, Vox rested his flesh and blood arm on her back. "Ace cared deeply for you. He wanted to take care of you, after what happened to your Father. The...least I can do to honor my friend's memory...is to take care of you in his stead."
Nodding without speaking, Twilight closed her helmet tight, marching out to her post.
Vox watched her go, his face still somber. Once she was well out of range of sight or hearing, he grinned widely. "Too easy," he chuckled wickedly, picking up the contract Twilight had just signed, his eyes going happily to the fine print Twilight hadn't even noticed, let alone bothered to examine.
When Ratchet returned from Ghost Station, he immediately went to see Clank. "Any news, Clank?" he asked.
"I have found a way to shut down the containment fields, and release all the heroes," Clank replied.
"Okay," Ratchet confirmed, barely seeming to register. "What about Twilight?"
Clank frowned. "I'm sorry, Ratchet. She hasn't been on the news reports since she won her own Liberator Tournament, and I can't locate her - or her battle bots - anywhere on the station."
Ratchet clenched his fist around his Omniwrench. After what Vox had said when he'd tried to recruit him as arena champ after he defeated Ace...
"Kill other heroes for money?" Ratchet demanded angrily. "I'll never do that! You're sick! The only thing I want back from you is my daughter!"
Vox chuckled a bit. "I'm sure you do want her...but are you sure she still wants you? After all, she's learned such horrible things about you..."
"She'd never buy that nonsense you've been broadcasting about me," Ratchet growled.
"Really?" Vox asked. "Then why would she be bonding so strongly with Ace? You've seen that yourself, haven't you?"
Ratchet hesitated. He had seen that. It was why fighting Ace had been so difficult...especially since Ace had said he couldn't tell Ratchet where she was.
"And of course," Vox continued, "she's bound to be crushed when she hears how you brutally slaughtered him in the ring...and she'll have no reason to doubt-"
"I didn't kill him!" Ratchet shouted. "He was alive when I walked away!"
"Not according to what Vox Media will say if you walk out that door," Gleeman pointed out with a grin.
Ratchet glowered. "I'm going to save Twilight...and I will end you."
As Ratchet walked out, Vox laughed. "You just signed your death warrant, kid!" he called out.
"You okay, Ratchet?" Al asked, turning from the computer screens to check on his friend, revealing his now cybernetic body.
"Al?" Ratchet asked, shocked. "You're alright?"
"Of course I am!" Al said disparagingly. "Dreadzone steals only the best...and they just so happened to have some of Twilight's prototype cybernetic prosthesis."
Ratchet managed a chuckle. "Well, that's a relief..."
Clank nodded. "At any rate, I have uploaded the plans of the interior facility of the Dreadzone station into your suit's nav computer. I've also included where the control system you need to destroy is located. And I've reprogrammed the transport shuttle to take you there...but it is a one way trip."
Ratchet nodded. "Then while I'm there...I need someone to find Twilight."
"You can count on us sir," Green, one of Ratchet's battle bots, declared.
"We'll search the whole station from base to top!" Merc, the other bot, agreed.
"Thanks guys," Ratchet said softly. "This place is going down."
Vox looked over the plans for the final event with a wide grin. Before long, Ratchet would make his move to try and free all the heroes. When he did, Vox would trigger the field traps, locking everyone into the Battledome and causing everyone to be equipped with a Deadlock collar automatically. He'd then send his 'desperate' message to Dallas and Juanita, putting the blame on the 'brutal challenger', along with instructions not to announce him by name, for reasons that would become clear, since Vox had taken steps to try and 'stop this', but 'the show must go on'.
Meanwhile, the bug he'd put in Ratchet's suit had already activated. When he next closed his helmet for access to the nav comp's HUD, he would be unable to open it, and the speech synthesizers that let him speak to people through the closed helmet would shut down. And then he'd face Twilight, who would be convinced that this was some faceless monster who had killed her father and her friend.
And of course, if things didn't go exactly according to plan...Vox already had something even better in store. And with Ace out of the way - Vox had been fooled for a moment, the sentimental fool had fallen under the filly's spell, so he'd ordered the fool killed after Ratchet finished the fight - there would be no one to stop him.
Ace groaned as he pulled himself together in the champ's quarters. "Ugh..." he groaned. "That was a lot more painful than I remember it being..." He staggered to the bathroom, where he was noisily sick.
Everyone who had ever seen him fight knew where he got the name Hardlight. He was able to generate multiple hard-light duplicates of himself, each one animated by a small portion of his energy. He frequently used that ability, both while a hero and in the arena. What he made sure no one ever learned was that they were more than just autonomous body doubles. If his main body ever got killed, he could transfer his physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual nature into any hard light duplicate still active, actually turning it into his original body.
It was never a pleasant process, but after the first few times it had happened during his early career, he'd convinced himself it was far preferable to staying dead. Which was why he left one of his duplicates behind in his room any time he went to fight in the arena.
However, it took time for him to fully infuse the new body, and even longer after that before he could manifest more hard light duplicates. Knowing what he did of how Vox thought, if he was to help Twilight, he wouldn't be able to wait until he could generate more hard light duplicates. He'd have to be a bit more careful.
"Still can't believe he shot me in the head," he grumbled as he donned his old Liberator armor, which completely hid his identity. "Gonna have to pay him back for that...and make sure Twilight gets out of here...Ratchet will take care of that..."
Now disguised, he grabbed his spare weapons and leapt into the back corridors of the station, heading for Vox's office, ready to intervene when the time was right.
As Ratchet was warped into the bowels of the station, he glanced around nervously. Something...doesn't seem right here... He would contact Clank, but he knew the little robot would already be trying to reach Twilight, away from the communications. Deciding to be on the safe side, he triggered his helmet...only to realize he couldn't open it. When he tried to speak, the synthesizers wouldn't work.
And then the cameras came down. Not good, he thought silently.
A screen dropped down, revealing Vox. "And here he is, Dreadzone fans," Vox explained magnanimously. "The vicious brute who so mercilessly slaughtered our champion...now trying to sabotage the Battledome itself. Will his lust for blood never stop?"
Ratchet growled angrily, but knew he could do nothing here. Whether he liked it or not, he had to play by the rules Vox had set up.
Vox continued his lies. "As I'm sure you've all noticed by now, loyal Dreadzone fans...this maniac has sealed you into your seats so you can't escape! And now he's going for the self destruct system of the Battledome. If he makes it, we're all dead. But I've anticipated his plans. Not only will he have to fight against the toughest robotic foes the Battledome has ever produced...but he will also have to best one last Exterminator...the strongest, toughest, most powerful Exterminator Ace Hardlight ever trained! And this Exterminator is bound and determined to avenge him...oh, I'm getting chills just thinking about it!"
As the cameras moved away, Vox leaned in. "Good luck, Ratchet," he whispered into the comms. "The timer has already started. If you don't make it to the controls in time...bye bye everyone...except me. I happen to be in a safe, remote viewing location." Cackling, Vox turned off the communication screen.
Ratchet growled to himself as he began to make his way through. Without Merc and Green backing him up, he'd have to rely on brute force to make it all the way through. He hoped he had enough weapons and ammo.
By the time Ratchet made it through the bowels, deactivating both generators along the way to free the other heroes, he was feeling quite battered. As if running low on ammo and nanotech weren't bad enough, but the entire time the announcers were going on and on about how bad he was, how he was responsible for the situation, and overall painting him to be a monster. What really confused and upset him, though, was that they never once referred to him by name. They always referred to him as 'that scoundrel' or 'Ace Hardlight's murderer', or some other horrible epitaph. It felt as though he was being slowly erased, to be replaced by the monster they were making him out to be.
Finally, he reached the control room for the self destruct system. He knew he needed to deactivate it to save the station. As he staggered in, however, three things caught his attention that made him question the situation. The first was that the controls were shielded completely, with no deactivation switch in sight. The second was that he could see nothing on the controls to indicate that they were active.
The third was the sight of the Exterminator. Even with the full body Dreadzone battle suit in the Exterminator colors, there was no mistaking that figure. "Twilight?" he tried to ask, but his words did not leave the suit. He tried to open his helmet, but it wouldn't open.
"You monster," Twilight growled as she approached, the suit around her horn focusing her magic output as she lifted numerous weaponry. "You killed my Father...and you killed Ace, who wanted to take care of me...without Daddy, there's no one left for me back in Solana...or anywhere...you've taken everything from me!"
With that last shout, she opened fire. Ratchet did his best to avoid the barrage, but there was just too much firepower. A few glancing blows hit him, and he knew he was in trouble. He knew the only way he'd survive this was if he started shooting...but that meant shooting Twilight.
"Fight back!" Twilight commanded, pulling her Omniwrench out. "You've killed so much already...surely a little pony would be nothing to you!" She seized her wrench in her forehooves. "Fight me!" She lunged in, swinging the wrench.
Desperately, Ratchet pulled his own wrench out to block the strike.
Twilight snarled. "And you took his Omniwrench!" she snapped. "Obviously for a trophy, since you didn't bother to learn to use it properly!" Taking the wrench in her magic again, she began delivering a barrage of blows which Ratchet struggled to defend against.
"Is that the best you've got?" Twilight demanded. "You're pathetic! You never would have stood a chance against Daddy or Ace in a fair fight with skills like this. You must have sabotaged them to get your victory...just as you tried to sabotage this station to kill everyone!" She leapt back, yanking out her Harbringer. "But that killing spree ends here!" Pointing it straight up, she fired off all the ammo.
Ratchet's eyes widened as he saw the targeting circles cover every square inch of ground in the arena save a tight circle around Twilight. There was no way he'd be able to position them both in the circle before the blasts came. He had a choice of pushing her out to take the blows...or taking them himself.
Oh shi- his thoughts began, only to be interrupted with agonized screams as he took several Harbringer shots unprotected. He staggered as the volley ended. I...I'm alive? he wondered. His musing was interrupted yet again as he coughed blood up into his helmet. His nanotech readout showed he had hit zero. He was dead, he just didn't know it yet. The next hit would start tearing his armor apart...tearing him apart.
Inside, he didn't care. He'd failed Twilight. He'd let her get sucked into this and twisted around until she was trying to kill him. He deserved this for failing her.
Twilight's wrench flew towards him...and to his amazement, a spin of the base caused the head to open up. An energy blade tore half the helmet off as the wrench struck him hard enough to send him spinning.
Twilight stalked towards him. "Any last words?" she asked, leveling the energy blade towards him.
Ratchet rolled over, coughing up blood as he looked into her eyes. "N...nice upgrade," he gasped out with a smile, his eyes flickering from the blade to her. "Have to show me...how it works sometime, Twi..."
Twilight's magic failed, and the wrench clattered to the floor. "D...D...Daddy?" she gasped out in shock, disbelief, and horror.
"What are you waiting for, Twilight?" Vox demanded over Twilight's comms. Ratchet was close enough he could hear it. "Avenge Ace! Finish him off!"
"But...but he's my Daddy..." Twilight whimpered.
Vox growled. "I think we have a bit of a misunderstanding...that wasn't a request!"
Twilight's collar suddenly flashed, and she shrieked in agony, staggering backwards as electricity coursed agonizingly through her body and battle suit.
"Twilight!" Ratchet screamed out, reaching desperately for her.
The audience watched with bated breath as Twilight screamed in agony. This wasn't supposed to happen. Twilight was supposed to finish off the bad guy, saving the day, and then everything would go back to normal. That was how it was always supposed to go. Even Twilight's speech during the fight had said that. And then Twilight had stopped, and claimed that Ratchet was her Daddy...and Vox had started shocking her.
Vox's voice was once more audible to all in the Battle Dome as he ranted. "Do you really think you have a choice in this, Twilight? Well, you don't! You signed the contract: I own you now! I've worked too hard for too many months to have this fall apart on me just because you got squeamish! Do you have any idea how much setting up the double league cost, so you'd not know what was happening to Ratchet while you climbed your own ranks? How much it cost to ensure that neither of you ever witnessed any Vox Network broadcast about the other, so you'd fight your hardest just to find each other? I've invested billions into making this the greatest fight the Dreadzone has ever seen, bringing millions more into the fanbase!
"And then of course there was Ace! None of this would have happened if he'd had enough charisma to keep people buying his junk! And then, of course, he starts babying you! Of course, he told me it was so he could use your adorability to sell his junk by proxy, but I knew better! You'd wrapped him around your little hoof, just like you've done to everyone you've ever met...except for me. If you were a bit more like me, you'd have turned that into a power play, wrapping the entire galaxy around your hoof and ruling with an iron horn! But no! You're such a goody four shoes that you genuinely care about everyone who falls under your spell! You make me sick! And that's why, when Ace lost to Ratchet, I ordered him terminated so I could spin that saccharine spiel about how he was brutally slain in the arena, to twist you around until you'd kill your own father without even realizing it!
"And even though you've found out the truth, you're going to anyway...or I push this button, and every Deadlock collar in the arena save yours - and that includes the one around Ratchet's neck - goes off in a big blast, killing them all!"
The audience gasped in shock.
"...hey, why are all the fans looking like someone just shot their puppy?" Vox asked. After another moment, he asked, "Hey! Who set this thing to general broadcast?"
"That would be me," a familiar voice spoke over communications.
"Ace?" Vox gasped. "But you're dead!"
"And you expected that to stop me," Ace replied.
"Well if at first you don't succeed..." The sound of gunfire was heard over the broadcast, followed by static.
Meanwhile, Twilight was still screaming...but to Ratchet's ears, the timbre had changed. She wasn't screaming in pain anymore. Her voice had become suffused with rage. Her eyes flared open, blazing white...and then cleared, her irises blazing red. Her coat suddenly changed from purple to white as her wings flared out, and her mane and tail burst into flame.
The Deadlock collar around her neck melted off as the mystic flames consumed it, and her magic exploded off her body in a chaotic torrent that began to rip the Dreadzone apart. Ratchet managed to push himself to his feet to keep an eye on her, and was rather surprised when his own collar short circuited and fell off of him.
Hearing screams of panic and the start of a stampede, he came to the conclusion that the short circuit had been more or less universal. Either that, or they'd noticed the chunks of the station being ripped from their moorings to swirl around in the visible magic vortex around Twilight.
As the viewers started to panic, several Dreadzone automated defenses activated to keep them in their seats...only to be blasted apart by ship mounted weaponry. "Attention civilians!" a voice boomed out. "This is Captain Qwark, pro-tem commander of the Solana Galactic Federation flagship Phoenix! A level five quantum distortion has been detected within the station. You must evacuate immediately. The Starship Phoenix and others stand ready to accept civilian evacuees. Please board in an orderly and responsible manner."
Captain Qwark himself stood at the foot of the Phoenix' boarding ramp, ushering civilians inward. Seeing one Deadlock collar that hadn't disengaged, he grabbed hold of either side and jerked his arms, tearing it in half and crushing the explosive circuitry at the same time.
"That was scientifically impossible," a familiar voice told him.
"Nothing's impossible for Captain Qwark!" Qwark proclaimed, not as a brag but as a comfort for the child whose collar he'd just broken. Then he recognized the voice. "Clank! There you are, little buddy!" He knelt down over the tiny robot. "We're here to rescue you! I see you've got Al with you...and four other robots I haven't met!"
"This is Merc, Green, Barb, and Owloiscius," Clank stated quickly.
"Who!" Owloiscius proclaimed.
"No time for that!" Qwark countered. "Where's Ratchet and Twilight?"
"If I'm not mistaken...at or near the center of the level 5 quantum distortion," Clank replied.
"Yeah, sounds like them," Qwark agreed. "Well, you all get on board. I'll be right back!" Hopping onto a nearby hoverbike, he zoomed into the station as Clank, not knowing what else to do, took over guiding the civilians into the ships.
In the center of the distortion caused by her magic, Twilight continued to scream as the station was torn apart around her. Her magic poured off her body, warping the very fabric of reality as the undirected etheric energy continued to build up, the pressure turning it into a swirling etheric vortex, tearing everything around her to bits.
Nearby, Ratchet started to stagger towards the vortex. He'd been listening, and Twilight's screams had changed. They were no longer full of rage. Now, they were full of fear. She had lost control of her magic, and it had been fully unleashed. And now, it looked like it was about to tear her apart.
Steeling himself, Ratchet took a step forward, and then another. He had failed her so much already...he would not fail her again. How could he call himself her father if he wouldn't face this for her? Stepping into the vortex, he felt it tearing at the very fabric of his being, but he steeled himself and continued forward.
He didn't know how long it took him to reach the center, but eventually he felt the fur of Twilight's soft face against his. "D...D...Daddy?" she whimpered.
Making soft shushing noises, Ratchet wrapped his arms around Twilight, holding her close, ignoring how the mystic flames of her mane burned his arm and hand as he stroked her. "It's alright," he said softly. "It's okay. It's all over..."
After a time of comforting, Twilight's coloration returned to normal and the flames turned back into hair as the magic began to disperse. Clinging to Ratchet, she cried into his shoulder, dizzy from magic exhaustion, her reserves completely spent.
"It's all over," Ratchet promised. "We're going home..."
As he turned to leave, however, he was knocked aside as the helpless Twilight was yanked out of his grasp. "Not yet!" Vox crowed as he laughed, sticking something to Twilight's armor. "Did you forget the part where I said I owned her?" He dropped her to the floor as the device he'd attached primed itself and began to whir.
"Twilight!" Ratchet yelled out, staggering to his feet. "Let her go, Vox!" His hands gripped both discarded Omniwrenches, Twilight's with its blade already out.
"Or what? You'll kill me?" Vox laughed dismissively. "You're both on your last legs, I've already seen that! And you might want to pay closer attention to that device I attached. It's a thermal detonator, and big enough to take out this entire station! It's primed to go off if it gets too far away from me, if I send a mental command through my cybernetics...or if it stops detecting my vital signs!" His insane laughter filled the air. "Oh but don't worry...there is a way to get it off her. It just has to attach to another suit of active Dreadzone armor...oh, and once attached, it prevents the armor from being removed. So...what's it going to be, Ratchet? Leave her here with me? Or let the bomb attach to you and try to send her away...knowing she'll never leave you?"
As Ratchet hesitated, another voice spoke up. "Any active suit of Dreadzone armor, huh?" Ace asked, scooping Twilight into his arms.
With a click, the bomb attached to Ace's Exterminator armor.
"You!" Vox snarled. "What do you think this will accomplish? They won't-"
Ace interrupted Vox's rant by grabbing him by his throat and putting him in a one armed choke hold. "Go ahead. Set the bomb off. You know I'm not bluffing in that I won't hesitate to take you down with me."
"But they'll never escape!" Vox shouted out.
"You sure about that?" Ace asked as a hoverbike crashed through the weakened wall, Qwark atop it. "Qwark! Get them out of here!"
Qwark took one look at the situation and nodded. Grabbing hold of Ratchet and Twilight, he slung them into his lap before turning the bike around and gunning it back for the ship.
"And you think that accomplishes anything?" Vox laughed. "I've just got you on a leash again, Ace! And with this noble sacrifice bit, they won't hesitate to come back to try and rescue you! They'll never escape!"
Ace smirked. "Except for one thing, Vox. My HUD just told me that there's no living thing within the blast radius of this bomb except you and me now." Drawing his gun, he put it to Vox's forehead. "Twilight and Ratchet are never going to have to worry about you again. I said I wouldn't hesitate to take you with me. I may be all outta extra lives...but you're out of luck. I'll see you in hell."
He pulled the trigger.
"Are you certain you're all alright?" Sasha asked over the comms.
"As alright as can be expected," Ratchet replied. "Twilight's...well, she'll be okay eventually, I'm sure. And I'll be okay once she is."
"You both could use some serious medical attention," Sasha pointed out.
"The new medical facilities where we're going are state of the art," Ratchet pointed out. "And...well, we all need to decompress from what's happened. We need the time off. And..."
"And you need to help her get over Ace," Sasha concluded.
Ratchet glanced to the backseat of the ship, where Twilight was locked in fitful slumber. "...yeah," Ratchet replied. "She...she doesn't want to believe he's really dead. He came back from being 'dead' once already, after all. And...to be honest, after seeing how much she cares about him, I kinda want to believe it too."
Sasha chuckled softly. "Alright Ratchet," she said finally. "Go be a Father. You all deserve a vacation after all this. I've already seen to it that no one will know where you are outside our inner circle, and none of them will spill the beans."
"Thanks, Sasha," Ratchet replied. "We'll be back...once we're ready."
"Take your time."
Turning off the communicator, Ratchet leaned back with a sigh, rubbing his heavily bandaged arm and hand. "Clank?"
"Setting course for Pokitaru," Clank replied. "The resort manager has already received our landing and privacy requests. We are in the registry for the Presidential Suite, listed in the resort directories only as VIPs."
Smiling, Ratchet reached out to gently stroke Twilight's face. "We'll get better," he promised her. "It's going to be okay..."
Ratchet sat back on the beach, watching worriedly as Twilight worked at building a sand castle with Clank's help. While there was nothing about the situation itself that should worry Ratchet, it was Twilight herself in general that Ratchet was concerned with. Ever since they were reunited after Vox's manipulations, she'd been rather clingy. She was only ever truly comfortable if Ratchet and Clank were both in sight, and if only one of them was present she tended to get nervous, constantly looking around for the other. Neither of them had dared to leave her alone once they noticed this.
Even at night, things weren't doing well. She tended to wake with nightmares several times during the night, often screaming. The only way she could sleep well was if she slept cuddled in Ratchet's embrace, with Clank in his sheep suit. Her old Qwark plushy - recovered from their Solana homestead - made a somewhat good substitute, as they discovered. She couldn't fall asleep comfortably with it, but it did work to keep the nightmares away if she stayed in Ratchet's arms.
All in all, it was plain that Twilight was suffering from what had happened, and Ratchet wished he could do more. "I wonder if the resort has a psychiatrist on staff," he murmured.
"It does," Barb said as she hovered into place beside him. "Clank's already scheduled her an appointment for evaluation so a treatment plan can be drawn up."
"Really?" Ratchet asked once he'd calmed down from being caught off guard. "Good old Clank. Knew I could count on him."
"The only problem might be that there's two evaluations," Barb explained. "Once with the parental figures present, once without."
Ratchet winced. "She's not going to like that," he murmured. "She's always hated being alone, and this is just going to make it even worse...as if that wasn't bad enough after Bogon..."
"Aside from all that, she seems rather well adjusted," Barb pointed out. "Highly intelligent-"
"Can't take credit for that one," Ratchet countered. "She was a genius the day she crashed through my roof."
"But you gave her opportunities to develop her intelligence," Barb pointed out. "You never held her back, pushed yourself to keep up with her, and encouraged her every step of the way."
A chuckle greeted this assessment. "Now you sound like Clank did back on Quartu, trying to convince me I was doing a good job being her father despite my worries," Ratchet reminisced. "Even said my worries were a point in my favor."
"She's certainly an unusual child," Barb agreed. "But it's not just her intelligence that speaks in her favor. She's kind, compassionate, generous, loyal, honest...such good qualities born of your raising her. It shows just what a good job you've done, despite all those hurdles."
"I had good starting material," Ratchet pointed out.
"I am certain Twilight would disagree with how little credit you give yourself for her well being," Barb sniped back.
"Not what I meant," Ratchet disagreed. "I...I've never known what I was doing. 90% of the time, I'm completely lost, scared of doing something horrifically wrong...convinced I'm going to fail her..."
When he didn't say more beyond that, Barb spoke up again. "How do you deal with it? How do you keep going?"
"When I reach a point of indecision, I ask myself one question...and act on the answer," Ratchet replied. "...What Would Nana Do?"
"...Nana?" Barb asked, her synthesized voice quavering.
"The nurse-bot who raised me back on Veldin," Ratchet explained. "I...I wasn't raised by her long, but she was the closest thing to a mother I ever had. If...If I've been a good father to Twilight, I owe it to Nana..." A choked sob caught his attention. "Barb? What's wrong?"
Barb rubbed at her optics, lubricant tears pouring from them. "Oh Ratchet...I...I'm so happy..." Without warning, she pulled him into a hug. "I had care of you for such a short time...but I could see your potential...I tried my hardest to give you everything you needed, so you'd grow up to be good...I...to know you credit your good work with Twilight to me...to say you're a good father...because I was a good mother..."
Ratchet tried to pull back, confused. "Barb, what are you talking about? We only just met-"
"You would sit still so happily when I braided ribbons into the floof at the end of your tail," Barb reminisced, her voice crackling. "You hated the ribbons themselves, so you shed them as soon as you thought I wasn't looking, but you loved the attention. As soon as you thought I wouldn't realize it was deliberate, you'd come back upset that they'd all fallen out, and I'd braid them in again..."
Ratchet's eyes widened, then quivered. He hadn't even told Twilight that story. "N...Nana? But...but how?"
"When the Thunder Soldiers destroyed me, the pirates they worked for salvaged and sold the pieces," she explained. "My CPU and Personality Core are hardwired together, so they had to be sold as a single item. And then...who should I be assigned for the last time as a Battle Bot but your daughter, Ratchet..."
Closing his eyes against the tears, Ratchet wrapped his arms around the robot who'd shaped his early life. "Nana..."
Over by the sand castle, Twilight smiled as she watched the reunion. She was glad she hand't told Ratchet flat out that her flame throwing Battle Bot was actually his old caretaker. It was good for both of them to discover the strength of their bond - and the reunion - this way. Inside, she felt a little bit of the pain of the Dreadzone fade, seeing some of the good that came of the experience.
Unfortunately, she was forced to look away. Even Barb's Dreadzone design brought back the painful memories...all the more painful because those memories should have been happy.
Noticing Twilight's reaction, Barb pulled back slightly. "I'm thinking of applying for a retrofit," she brought up. "Maybe get a job here on Pokitaru. They do have child care here for families who want to have some alone time for the parents."
"I could rebuild your original body, if you want," Ratchet offered. "I still have the specs."
Barb chuckled. "I'll just bet you do. How many times did you give me an unofficial repair job when I malfunctioned?" She nudged him teasingly. "Thanks all the same, Ratchet, but I need to start fresh. Besides...I like being Barb. I like the flame." She glanced at her flame throwers. "I'm thinking of asking for chef protocols, too."
"You were a pretty good cook back on Veldin, too," Ratchet pointed out.
"Flatterer," Barb taunted.
"Want me to help design your new body?" Ratchet asked.
Barb smiled at him. "I'd like that. Just don't let Twilight be a part of it."
"I'm not actually a licensed roboticist, either," Ratchet pointed out.
"Not that," Barb interrupted. "I just don't want to find out sometime down the line that she snuck a particle cannon or two or a heavy rocket launcher into my new chassis, 'Just in case'."
While Twilight enjoyed the sound of Barb and Ratchet laughing together, she couldn't help but feel the joke was on her somehow. Thus, when Clank started giggling, she pushed him into their sand castle and stuck her tongue out at him. That led to a rather enjoyable half hour of throwing sand at each other.
Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank all stared up...and up...and up at Pokitaru resort's on staff psychologist. He was a Caluf'ti, a race of four armed winged giants from a star system between the Solana and Bogon galaxies. This particular member would easily top fifteen feet tall when standing, and was very heavily muscled under his aqua skin. Against one wall was a rack of glasses, each one having a different number of eyes in different arrangements, matching the ocular patterns of the various races of Solana. He was currently wearing a set with two eyes which looked out at them all calmly. His wings were folded gently to his back over the massive Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts he was wearing to account for Pokitaru's tropical climate, given Caluf 4, his homeworld, had a temperature that varied from pleasantly cool to frozen over the course of a year.(1)
"Greetings," he stated simply, his voice gravely but somehow calming. One large hand clutched a small notebook, another clutched a pencil. The third held a mug filled with an acidic concoction that was lethal to most races but the equivalent of coffee to Caluf'ti, and it bubbled and steamed with frost. His last hand turned a set of stress balls around and around in his palm. "I am Dr. Fizzi K. Drake. You can, however, call me Fizzy Drink if you prefer." His smile would have been less off-putting if his teeth weren't razor sharp. "Many of my patients do."
It was plain to them all that he was making a genuine effort to be relatable and calming. The effort would likely have worked better if any of them were eye level with anything above his ankle.
Fizzi glanced over the expressions locked on him. The Lombax was terrified. The robot was nervous. His patient looked more curious than anything. He decided to start there. "If it will help you feel more comfortable, I would happily answer any questions you have about my species, or myself personally."
The eyes of Fizzi's glasses widened somewhat as the torrent of questions bombarded him. This would take a while.
Nearly two hours later, Fizzi had finally answered all of Twilight's questions...or at any rate, all such questions he felt it appropriate to answer for a prepubescent patient. Some of the questions had left him stupefied from how out of left field they were (2), while others seemed unusual for a child to ask(3), and some startled him with their logic(4). "While I'm glad your more comfortable now," he said at last, "I believe we're here to talk about you, Twilight Sparkle."
"Oh...right..." Twilight rubbed the back of her head sheepishly while Ratchet chuckled indulgently. Clank 'baa'ed for some reason, resulting in Ratchet laughing and Twilight punching Clank.
Fizzi smiled softly. "Now then, Twilight...tell me what bothers you."
"Really?" Fizzi asked. "It was my understanding that you've been suffering..." He glanced at the notepad. "Nightmares, occasional anxiety attacks, flashes of inexplicable temper, and...magic surges?" He looked to Ratchet and Clank for explanation of that last one.
"Twilight generates an energy field that is...unique in nature, as far as the known galaxy is concerned," Clank explained. "The only texts covering it at all are Old Earth texts describing the 'etheric' sciences."
"Twilight calls it magic," Ratchet added. "It comes out through her horn, and...sometimes, when she loses control of herself emotionally, it comes out in huge bursts that...she can't entirely control."
"Can you give me an example?" Fizzi asked curiously.
"The resort only fired off one firework last night," Clank replied. "The rest was Twilight's magic reacting to the sound of the unexpected explosion."
"I see..." Fizzi turned back to Twilight, and saw she was looking away. "Ratchet, Clank, perhaps now is the time for me to speak to Twilight alone...professional to patient."
Twilight looked up nervously, but Ratchet nodded. "It's going to be okay, Twilight," he reassured her, stroking her mane. "We'll be just outside the door if you need us."
"We aren't going anywhere," Clank added.
Twilight stared after them, looking anxious as the door shut. She started to hyperventilate.
"Twilight, look here," Fizzi directed firmly, calling up a holo-display.
The display showed the live camera view of just outside the office door, easily confirmed by glancing out the window into the hall. "They're right there," Fizzi reassured her. "If you need them, they can come back in at any time...and in the meantime, they can't hear what you tell me. So why don't you start by telling me what sort of nightmares you've been having about them?"
Twilight looked up at him in shock.
"I'm no amateur," Fizzi pointed out. "Now...tell me. None will hear from me of what you speak."
Twilight swallowed and nodded. "Well...we recently escaped from the Dreadzone...it was-"
Fizzi held up his hand. "I am aware," he said softly. "You aren't the only new patient of mine to have escaped that hell hole. Though given how the others have spoken of you three, I'm surprised you haven't been swarmed by them and their gratitude."
"Daddy goes to an effort to make sure we aren't," Twilight replied. "For my sake..." She glanced up at the holo-view, her eyes on Ratchet.
Fizzi thought about everything the other escaped heroes - and audience members - had told him. "It's about when you were tricked into fighting him, isn't it?" he asked. "Your nightmares, I mean."
Shivering slightly, Twilight nodded.
"Tell me."
Taking a few calming breaths, Twilight spoke. "I...in the dreams, I'm fighting Daddy again. Sometimes, I end up killing him before his helmet comes off...and only discover I've been fighting him after I've already killed him. But...but those aren't the worst ones, even if they are the ones that feel all too real."
Fizzi nodded. "What are the worst ones?"
"...when the helmet comes off, I see I'm fighting Daddy...and then I kill him anyway...and then Ace is looking at me in horror..."
"Ace?"
"Ace Hardlight," Twilight replied. "He...he kinda looked after me in Dreadzone, and...he died, making sure we made it out in one piece...and making sure Vox couldn't come after us. I...I heard him die..."
Fizzi nodded. "And how are you dealing with that? Losing someone who cared for you, whom you cared for?"
Twilight chuckled a bit. "Well...you'd probably say I'm in denial, but...I don't want to believe he's actually dead. I mean...he survived being killed once before shortly before that."
"Why do you want to believe it so strongly?" Fizzi asked.
Twilight looked down. "It...it helps me to move on from all that...if I don't have to think that someone died...for me. It...it's already hard enough, remembering the Bio-Crusher...the one I had to put out of its misery..." She sniffled. "It makes me miss Fuzzy-Biter so much..."
It had been after coming to Pokitaru that Twilight had discovered that Fuzzy-Biter - the original Protopet - had died while she was in the Dreadzone. Apparently, to balance out their incredibly high rate of reproduction, they had a very short lifespan, and the forced extraction Fuzzy-Biter had undergone had shortened his life artificially. While there were many others, it just wasn't the same for Twilight.
Fizzi remained silent, having been briefed previously on much of this. "And so you cling all the more tightly to those you care for," he added finally.
Twilight nodded. "Yeah...I guess so..."
Fizzi let her think for a time, then nodded. "Twilight, while we're a long way from any sort of treatment - if such a thing is even applicable - I think we are well on our way to identifying your issues and helping you to address them. I see no reason why, in time, you shouldn't be just fine."
Twilight looked up. "Do you really mean it?"
"Indeed," he replied, reaching into the jar of small treats he kept for his child patients. "Here," he said, tossing her one, "have a peanut."
(1) Like Aska Ni Teng back in "Interlude: Interview", Fizzi K. Drake was created by my Mom. I think she's enjoying helping me come up with things like this. (2) "Do you generate etheric energy for flight, or are your wings just for gliding?" (3) "How many breasts do the females of your race have?" (4) "If you hatch from eggs, why does your race even have mammaries?"
It had been several months since Twilight had first started her therapy with Fizzy Drink, as she called him now. She was showing steady improvement, though apparently still a long way from full recovery. Thankfully for Ratchet's budget - since she'd taken unpaid vacation from Gadgetron once this started - therapy was one of the services covered by their lifetime VIP packages. However, Fizzy Drink's last advice to them had been hard for all three of them to act on. After all, even if saving the day again would help them, the galaxy wasn't exactly in danger every other Tuesday, and none of them were ready for 'active duty'.
For today, Twilight and Clank were working together on a sand sculpture, while Ratchet set up a beach umbrella for them all to relax under. However, it wasn't long after he'd set up the umbrella and lay back in the shade before someone managed to snap a picture of him. He turned, mildly irritated, to see who the photographer was.
To his surprise, it was a little red haired girl with her hair done in a quad-pigtail style. She smiled happily at the picture she had taken before turning to snap one of Twilight.
"Hey!" Ratchet growled, though not too menacingly. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm taking picthureth for my thcool projecth!" she replied happily in a pleasantly high pitched, innocent voice. "I'm doing a report on heroeth, and I recognithed you from the newthpaperth!" She looked up endearingly. "You're Ratchet, right? And Twilight Thparkle?"
"So much for VIP anonymity," Ratchet murmured.
"I wath wondering," the girl continued eagerly, "if it would be pothible to get thom picthures of you two doing thome 'heroic acthion!"
"I don't know..." Ratchet replied. "Now might not be-"
"It could be fun," Twilight interrupted, stepping forward.
"Twilight?" Ratchet asked worriedly. "Are you sure?"
"Just a bit of practice while she takes some pictures," Twilight pointed out. "No big danger, no huge stakes, no galaxy in danger...baby steps, right?"
"I know where there are thome robotth you can fight!" the girl offered.
Clank sighed as he attached himself to Ratchet's back. "This will not end well," he murmured to no one in particular.
Ratchet and Twilight went down the path the little girl indicated, fighting some wild crabs that were still only somewhat hostile, and performing various physical activities of exploration - from double jumps to triangle jumps and the like - as the little girl requested, so she could take pictures. As promised, they also encountered some robots to fight, as this was apparently Pokitaru's new obstacle course.
At the end of it, the girl - who introduced herself as Luna, which gave Twilight a momentary sense of vertigo for some reason - began to fangasm over how great her report would be. Twilight took a step to the side to get her bearings again, and noticed a rather familiar figure doing his best to be inconspicuous as he read a newspaper while wearing a rather pretty white hat with flowers in it. He wasn't doing a very good job at being inconspicuous. "Qwark?" she asked in surprise.
"Why Twilight!" Qwark replied, doing a very poor job of acting surprised and innocent. "What a coincidence! And I was just hoping I might bump into you accidentally so I could wish you a happy birthday and see how you were doing!"
Twilight blushed happily. "You came all this way...just to wish me an early happy birthday and check on me?" Her thirteenth birthday was coming up in a few days, and she had been thinking it would be a good time to reunite with everyone, but Qwark making his way here - especially when he apparently wasn't supposed to - was very touching.
"Yup!" Qwark replied happily. "And...other stuff." He quickly coughed. "So what are you doing on the obstacle course?" he asked, changing the subject.
Twilight's eyes narrowed. Sometimes, Qwark was just too transparent. "I'm trailing Ratchet and Clank to see what they're doing so I can join in on their next adventure," she replied in a deadpan monotone.
"Hey! That's what I'm doing!" Qwark called out happily. He then realized from Twilight's glare that he'd been had...again. "Uh, I mean...oh, you know me too well," he admitted.
Twilight watched Qwark for a time, trying to analyze his motives. All too readily, all those pictures she'd seen in his sanctum back on Yeedil came to mind, the ones where he stood alone. "...what happened to your parents?" she asked, directly and quietly.
Qwark flinched visibly. Had he been maneuvered around to this subject, he likely would have burst into tears at having to retell it. But Twilight's sympathetic look, and the way she cut through all his distracting excuses, helped him face it without a storm of tears. "I...I don't know," he said at last, sitting down beside her. "I never knew them. I was raised by Skrunch's people, it's why I know their language so well, and went back to them when I was...lost...after what happened in Bogon."
Twilight reached forward and patted his arm in sympathy. "Have you...considered looking for your parents? Trying to find out who they are?"
Before Qwark could answer, new green robots attacked, damaging the resort and pursuing Luna. All four heroes immediately broke into pursuit, Qwark proving to be surprisingly in shape as he raced along with the others, only having minor problems getting up jump shafts due to his bulk. He'd also apparently acquired a pair of Magnegrind Boots in his size.
However, despite their best efforts, they made it too late, catching up only just in time to overhear that Luna was being taken to someplace called Kalidon. Before she was stolen away, Luna dropped a small green device that Clank claimed was of Technomite origin.
"Technomite?" Twilight asked in confusion.
"It's what parents tell their children to explain how technology works," Ratchet replied. "They say the Technomites do it. They're just a fairy tale."
"So's magic," Qwark pointed out, jerking a thumb at Twilight.
Ratchet's glaring frown in response was almost comical.
"Whether it is Technomite in origin or not," Clank spoke up, letting Ratchet salvage some of his dignity, "the coordinates etched on the side are our only lead to finding her."
"I dunno..." Ratchet began, looking towards Twilight worriedly.
"It's just a simple rescue operation," Twilight pointed out. "Maybe an ancient secret or two, but no real danger. Baby steps, right Daddy?"
"Why do I feel like that should be on a list of famous last words?" Qwark asked no one in particular.
As the group landed on Ryllus, Qwark let go of the outside of the space ship - as the cockpit hadn't had room for him, and he'd claimed he could handle riding the outside - dropping heavily on the landing pad with a thwump. Twilight immediately poked her head out to check on him, stupefied to find that he had somehow suffered no damage from space flight, reentry, or oxygen deprivation. Somehow, clinging to the outside of the ship like a limpet and 'holding his breath' had actually worked for letting him hitch a ride, and he claimed he'd done so before.
Meanwhile, Clank gestured to how ruined the area seemed to be, overgrown and untended. "The Technomites appear to have abandoned this area," he pointed out.
"Yeah," Ratchet agreed sarcastically. "The 'Technomites'..."
"Still don't believe?" Qwark asked, sitting up.
"Not until I see one," Ratchet countered. "I'll accept there's a possibility I'm wrong, given what you said about magic...but I'm not about to be pleasant about it. I know too much actual science to accept the idea of a race of microscopic beings making it all work."
"Fair enough," Clank replied. "But where do we go from here?"
"I'd suggest the biggest building," Qwark pointed out. "That's where all the functional tech is left. At least, that's where it was last time I was here."
"Thanks Qwark," Ratchet replied. "Let's go!"
"Actually..." Twilight began, drawing attention. "Think I could just wait here? It's...been a while since I was in space, and I'm feeling a little woozy."
"Really?" Ratchet asked in shock, rushing over to check on her. "In that case, we'll wait until you've recovered-"
"Luna's life is in peril, remember?" Twilight pointed out. "We can't waste time. You and Clank can go check out the building. Qwark can stay here and keep an eye on me, right Captain?"
"Of course!" Qwark agreed readily. "You'll be perfectly safe with me Twilight, or my name's not Copernicus Leslie Qwark!"
"Copernicus?" Clank asked, surprised.
"Leslie?" Ratchet snorted in amusement.
"And now you all know why I prefer to go by 'Captain'," Qwark replied sulkily.
"But are you certain you'll be alright without both of us, Twilight?" Clank asked. "You...tend to get nervous when we're away..."
"I'll be fine as long as Qwark's here," Twilight replied, smiling up at the Captain.
Ratchet's eyebrows climbed up to his ears at that statement. "...alright," he replied. "Stay safe. We'll be right back." With that, he and Clank began to explore the planet's surface.
As soon as they were out of sight, Twilight hopped easily up to the ship's computer console, calling up a search engine.
"I'm not, really," Twilight replied, "but I didn't feel it was the appropriate time to tell Daddy about you being an orphan, and I wanted to help you research your family history to see if we can find out where you come from."
Qwark gasped in shock at her statement, then pulled her into a hug. "You're too good to me, Twilight...and I don't deserve a bit of it."
Twilight giggled and wriggled out of the embrace. "Come on," she said again. "Let's find your parents."
Qwark sat back, feeding her whatever information she needed as she worked the search engines to find out about his parentage. Partway through the search, however, a message for Qwark popped up from a company called Faux-Family.com. It contained within it what appeared to be the entirety of Qwark's family tree.
"Wow, can you believe it?" Qwark asked eagerly. "And look! My parents are still alive! I can go meet them!"
Twilight winced slightly at his eagerness, unwilling to disillusion him but knowing she had to point out the obvious. "Umm...Qwark? Don't you think this is...at all suspicious?"
Qwark rolled his eyes. "Of course it is, Twilight. I know what 'faux' means. French is literally the only course in school I aced. In all likelihood, some villain created this specifically so they could use it to manipulate me for some villainous scheme as dumb muscle. It couldn't be any more obvious if it was trying. I'm not that dumb!"
Twilight stared at him in surprise. "But...but if you know, then...why are you so excited?"
Qwark looked Twilight straight in the eye. "Because, Twilight...ever since the day I realized I wasn't a monkey - when I turned 18 - I've wondered...where do I come from? Who are my parents? Why was I left behind? Who am I?" He shook his head. "In all likelihood, this is a trap...but there's a slim possibility that it isn't...and I have to seize that chance with everything I have. In my shoes...wouldn't you do the same?"
Twilight lowered her head. "I...I guess..."
Reaching out, Qwark stroked her mane. "Don't worry. I'll keep my eyes open and won't take anything I'm told at face value. I'll guard myself against possible trickery...but I can't just walk away if there's any chance it's real." Leaning forward, he wrapped her in a gentle embrace. "We won't mention this to Ratchet and Clank, and I'll make my own way from whatever planet we go to next."
Twilight nodded, returning the embrace. "I understand. Good luck."
Not long after that, Ratchet and Clank returned with coordinates for Kalidon.
As the group landed on Kalidon, Qwark hopped off the outside of the ship and made his own way to a port to get a ship of his own, to meet up with the parents he had discovered. Twilight pretended not to notice as she faced the Kalidon facility with Ratchet and Clank.
"This does not seem right," Clank murmured. "It has been too easy."
"Says the one who gets the free ride," Ratchet countered playfully, rolling his eyes.
"I mean that if the Technomites want to stay hidden," Clank corrected, "they are making it awfully easy for us to find them."
"That's assuming they want to stay hidden," Twilight pointed out. "It could be that, up till now, being hidden wasn't a choice, but a necessity due to nature or situation, and we've stumbled upon them as that's changing."
Clank shrugged. "A valid point," he allowed. "There appears to be two paths ahead of us. Should we split up?"
Twilight shivered at the mere suggestion.
"Let's stick together," Ratchet suggested. "We'll take the shorter path first."
At the end of the very short path, they found a purple haired being with yellowish skin and pointed ears working on what looked like a sky board, the successors to the old glide boards. "Tweaking the old engine?" Ratchet asked.
The man spun around, hiding the board somewhat behind his body. "Why? What've you heard? Who are you? What're you doing here? Did the committee send you?" All the questions spilled out too fast to understand.
"Ooh!" Twilight gasped eagerly as she stared at the board. "That's the new Z-XXX-TS model with total customization options, so no two boards will ever be the same! I only just got my advance model last month for testing! I didn't know they were already on the market!"
The man chuckled. "You sure know your boards, little lady."
"I should!" Twilight pointed out. "I designed the initial prototype this series is based on. Eiken even insisted on naming this series after me."
The man gasped. "Oh gosh, you're Twilight Sparkle! Glide Board champ, child genius inventor, and galactic superhero!"
Twilight chuckled, blushing and rubbing the back of her head. "Yup, that's me. What's your name?"
"Phasta Thinyu," the cheetah-like racer responded, making both Ratchet and Clank groan. "Say...any chance I could get a race against you?"
Twilight's grin widened. "Sure thing, Phasta! What are the stakes?"
"I've got this weird gadget I found here," Phasta replied. "Never seen anything like it before. Pretty sure it ain't Gadgetron or Megacorp work. Might even be Technomite!"
Ratchet rolled his eyes, but Twilight's eyes glittered eagerly at the idea of a new piece of tech. "Alright," she replied. "If you win, I'll sign your Skyboard."
"Deal!" Phasta agreed eagerly.
The major difference between Skyboarding and Glide Boarding was the tracks. While Glide Boarding followed the standard track with occasional extra paths, Skyboarding tended to be much more sprawling and had a major difference in regard to the rules: if a racer and the board were capable of making a track deviation without the use of illegal modifications, then it was a legal maneuver. Where Glide Boarding was primarily 2-dimensional racing with a bit of up and down as the track dictated, Skyboarding was a truly 3-D race.
And Twilight had customized her Skyboard to take advantage of that. It was much smaller than the standard Skyboard, to take into account her smaller frame. As a result, it had less power to its engines. On the other hand - or hoof, as some put, much to Twilight's frustration - it had a much easier time gaining altitude than the larger Skyboards due to the reduced weight, as well as maintaining that height with its booster jets for a much lower cost of fuel. As a result, Twilight's strategy for Skyboarding often involved gaining a massive altitude boost near the start of the race, and spending the rest in a near continuous dive, then using her wings and body weight to maneuver once she was moving at incredibly high speed.
As a result, Twilight was able to blow past Phasta and the other two participants in the race, easily claiming first place.
"Woo!" Twilight cheered as she spun around on her Skyboard. "That was great! Still got it!"
"Didn't really think I could beat you," Phasta said as he pulled up, tossing her the gadget he'd wagered. "Pity I won't get that autograph..."
Twilight passed the gadget to Clank for identification, then turned to Phasta. "About that...since I had so much fun...check your Skyboard." Turning, she then led the way away with Ratchet and Clank.
Confused, Phasta took a look at the bottom of his Skyboard.
Keep on racing, Faster than Phasta, Twilight Sparkle
Phasta let out a whoop of joy.
With the Shrink Ray in hand, the trio continued further into Kalidon. The factory building in the distance was locked shut.
"This is a Grind Lock," Clank explained. "In order to unlock it, we will need to use the Shrink Ray to infiltrate the lock itself, grind around its inner workings to disable the security, and make it out the other side in one piece."
"That sounds fun," Ratchet said happily, picking up the Shrink Ray.
"Sounds oddly specific to our skill set and resources," Twilight murmured. "What if the person who owns the grindlock doesn't own Grindboots or a Shrink Ray?"
"Then they don't buy the Grindlock?" Ratchet suggested.
Unable to find a fault in the logic but still feeling a sense of incongruity, Twilight nodded in acceptance.
With the Grindlock open, the trio entered the factory, which seemed to be primarily about manufacturing the robots that had kidnapped Luna. Partway through the factory, they dealt with an elevator trap that dropped out from underneath them, forcing them to fight wave after wave of robots, including light bulb sentry spheres that tried to catch them in their light beams before zapping them.
At the bottom, they leapt off, letting the platform fall and crash. Throwing a nearby switch caused ooze to seep back up through the tube with various platforms rising for them to leap up. The entire thing almost seemed designed like an obstacle course with the trio's skill set in mind.
Something about that thought caught Twilight's attention, but she dismissed it, too focused on saving Luna. She didn't know how much she'd regret that.
After clearing a few segments filled with attack bots and another Grindlock, the trio found themselves at a spherical room with limited magnetized tracks around the room.
"Hey, I have an idea!" Ratchet said quickly. "Twilight, do you think you can fly to the exit?"
"Uhh...sure," Twilight allowed, taking to the air. "But what about-"
Ratchet pulled out his swingshot and locked onto hers, dragging himself in bursts of unidirectional magnetic force after her as she flew.
"Clever," Clank complimented as they continued onward.
After a long conveyor belt, a large, purple, gorilla like creature rose up on a platform surrounded by bottomless pits. As it leapt into the air to attack them, Twilight used a little bit of telekinetic force to flip it over them and into the pits.
Opening a sealed door beyond the arena, they found Luna waiting for them. "Wow! Thankth you guyth! You are tho heroic!"
"We should leave before any more robots show up," Twilight pointed out.
"But I haven't had a chance to tell my friends about your heroic deeds!" Luna complained, her voice sounding subtly different.
Twilight froze in shock, and Ratchet looked nervous. "Uh...you mean your 'friendth', right?" he asked hopefully.
"Ratchet!" Clank snapped. "That is very insen-"
"She's faking!" Twilight snapped out. "It's a trap!"
As she spoke, Luna pulled out a small device and zapped all three of them with a highly charged Tesla burst, draining their nanotech and rendering them unconscious. "It seems you're the real brains of the outfit after all, Twilight," Luna purred as more robots closed in. "Good to know..."
When Clank awoke, he found himself on a barren world surrounded by other robots blasting away at each other. "Where...am I?" he asked, confused.
A nearby robotic head the size of Clank's whole body bounced back and forth. "They must have blasted you good, soldier!" it barked out. "You're on planet Metalis in the middle of Robot War III!"
Clank blinked for a time as he saw other robots homing in on him in what looked like combat vehicles...though the more he looked, the more this all began to resemble Old Earth battle bots matches. Seeing a scoreboard, he made a quick connection. Reaching into his chassis, he pulled out Ratchet's old Blaster, promptly blasting the vehicles around him to bits.
"Hey!" one of the robots shouted. "That's against the rules!"
"I do not have time to play!" Clank barked out. "I need to get off this planet as soon as possible, and find Ratchet and Twilight. If you cannot assist me, then you are in my way."
At that moment, Skrunch landed in a monkey shaped rocket, squawking about having seen Ratchet and Twilight on Medical Outpost Omega. He even was able to provide video footage of what was being done.
Clank could only stare at the video of Ratchet and Twilight laid out on twin tables on two sides of the video screen. "Processing of subjects 261595 and 261596 are now one third complete," Luna's voice stated in a voice over. "Begin internal examination of subject 261595. Begin harvesting of internal samples of subject 261596." The robots on screen raised drill arms towards the apparently unconscious subjects.
Working quickly, Clank downloaded the coordinates. Since Skrunch's rocket was too small for passengers, Clank made his way to a transformation platform, letting him shift to Giant mode.
He paused as he looked upward along his projected flight path. "...I cannot risk not making it," he said simply. "I shall simply have to risk internal damage instead." He activated an internal circuit.
While he hadn't let Twilight do any work on his internal circuits since she wasn't a registered roboticist, that hadn't stopped her from constructing various devices to amplify his functionality, both in normal size and Giant. And Clank, being the most cautious member of the group, had installed the inactive upgrades in his chassis, just in case. And now he was activating all of them.
Instead of his usual energy pulse blasters on his wrists, his entire hands converted into massive buster guns. Instead of the secondary barrage of auto lock rockets, he could charge up a massive laser blast to obliterate everything he swept it across. An energy deflector shield reflected laser or plasma blasts away from him, and a gravimetric coil caused missiles aimed at him to loop around him to fly back at those that launched them. His boot rockets and back jetpack had been similarly augmented, tripling his speed in flight.
The one drawback he noticed to all of this was the strain it put on his power core. If he took more than a few hits, his core would rupture and he would explode. Thankfully, the design was efficient enough that, as long as he was even moderately careful, he'd take no hits.
As such, he blasted off without hesitation.
After literally carving his way through the space defenses, Clank made it to Medical Outpost Omega. Shrinking back down to normal size, he took a few moments to realign his internal systems and plan a new approach. After how he'd blasted his way in, he knew that the defenses would be high. The Technomites would do everything in their power to stop him from getting to Ratchet and Twilight. Every tactical instinct in his mind said to sneak in and locate them.
However, a deep rage was burning inside him. Seeing Ratchet and Twilight laid out like that...imagining the horror they were being put through, especially little Twilight, who was only just overcoming the horror of the Dreadzone... That rage was bursting at his circuits, begging to be let out.
He also knew that, whatever Twilight was going through, she would need at least one of them to be calm, cool, and collected. He could not count on Ratchet to do that. He would need to purge his rage before he got to either of them.
As he saw the defense robots approaching, he almost pitied them. Almost. He activated all the normal size upgrades he'd installed of Twilight's work, and he saw the fear in his targets' eyes as his new armaments unfolded. "You should have researched us more thoroughly," he stated firmly. "Then you would know the mistake you have made." He leveled his guns. "You do not mess...with Agent Clank!"
Ratchet staggered out of the wavering lab where the Dreks in lab coats and Blahrgian nurses tried to cut him to pieces, bursting out the door to find a beach that looked like a part of Pokitaru. The lab vanished as the door closed behind him, fading into the ether.
Another door appeared before him and opened, revealing Clank and Twilight...but they looked odd. Clanks eyes were red, and his head floated independent of his body. Twilight's eyes looked bloodshot, like she was stoned, and she giggled as her wings flapped around her head, detached from her body.
"It is okay, Ratchet," Clank stated. "You can come in. It is safe inside this door."
"In here, everything is perfectly fine!" Twilight assured him with a strange giggle as the door closed in his face.
"Twilight...Clank..." Clenching his teeth, he stormed forward through the wavering vision, trying to find the door again.
As he continued, visions of enemies of his past, allies, Twilight's inventions, and other things assailed him. At one point, he found himself walking through a colorful land filled with candy colored horses. He could have sworn it was a piece of Twilight's home world...but a tiny pink pony, the same size as Twilight was right now, told him he wasn't supposed to be there yet, and to say hi to her Daddy. She then promptly pushed him through another door, leaving him on a massive platform in front of a Giant Clank made of butterflies. The pony stuck her head through the door and blew on the Giant Clank, causing it to fly apart. The pony then ducked back through the door, and the door vanished.
The door from earlier opened up, with the odd looking Clank and stoned looking Twilight inviting him in, and he started to follow. However, another door opened opposite it. Clank stood there, looking normal but smoking, bits of his chassis fluctuating and cracked. "You must wake up!" he begged Ratchet. "There is still so much to do!"
As Ratchet glanced back and forth between the doors, the damaged looking Clank sighed. "I knew there was something off about that Luna girl...but I said nothing, because Twilight needed the adventure..." He hung his head in shame. "This...is all my fault..."
"Hey, it wasn't your fault," Ratchet reassured the damaged Clank. "I'm the one who's supposed to be her Father." The other door closed when his attention left it. "I'm the one who's failed her...again..."
"You can hear me?" Clank gasped in shock.
"Yeah," Ratchet pointed out. "You're standing right here."
Clank promptly grabbed hold of Ratchet and yanked him through the door.
As Ratchet slowly opened his eyes, he saw Clank standing over him, his chassis cracked and smoking. "It is good to have you back," Clank said warmly, the sentiment only somewhat marred by the smoke that poured out of his mouth.
"Clank?" Ratchet asked, shocked. "What happened to you?"
Clank smiled with his eyes. "You should see the other bot." He tried to laugh, but it was interrupted by smoke.
Staring past Clank's shoulder, Ratchet's eyes widened. "I...think I can..."
Bits and pieces of robots were scattered around the room, several spots were charred and smoking, the doors of the chamber were hanging off their hinges, the hallways outside were filled with wreckage and broken robots...one of which was actually impaled on a broken piece of wall, sparking and smoking.
"What happened?" Ratchet asked in shock as he sat up.
"I...lost my temper," Clank replied sheepishly.
"Remind me not to piss you off in the future," Ratchet replied nervously as he got to his feet.
As one robot that was still somewhat functional staggered to its spindly legs, an agonized scream echoed through the facility...a familiar scream.
"Twilight!" Ratchet yelled out. Lunging forward, he tore the front of the robot's torso off and stuck his hand in, squeezing something. "Where is she?!" he demanded angrily.
Clank gasped. He recognized what was happening to the robot. Ratchet had grabbed hold of several of the pain management circuits and the robot's CPU. If he squeezed hard enough, the circuits would become permanently entangled with the CPU, and the robot would be in constant agony as though every part of its body were in endless pain...and the damaged pain management system wouldn't be able to trigger a shut down into unconsciousness.
When the robot hesitated, Ratchet started to squeeze. "Where?!"
The robot babbled in code.
"He has transmitted a map of the facility with Twilight's location!" Clank said quickly. "I have a path determined."
Growling, Ratchet clenched his fist, dropped the robot, and stormed off. The robot writhed in agony.
Following along behind, Clank shut the robot down. He made a mental note to call Ratchet to task about this and reel in his temper...after Twilight was safe.
Twilight lay curled up inside her shield spell, cutting herself off from everything else in the universe, shivering and crying, wishing that the world was not as it was.
She had watched, frozen, as she had woken up on the operating table. The robots around her were examining her, and there was talk about how she was under anesthetic and wouldn't feel a thing, would sleep right through it completely unaware. But she wasn't asleep. She wasn't unconscious. She was aware...but frozen, paralyzed, unable to move, and only able to breathe through the tube she couldn't cough out of her throat.
She couldn't flinch as the needle jabbed into her leg, drawing blood. She couldn't wince as a thicker needle bored into her bones, extracting a sample of marrow. She couldn't cry as another needle jabbed into her back between her wings, digging into her spinal cord and extracting fluid from there. She couldn't scream in pain when feathers were torn out of her wing at the roots, blood and other tissues stuck to the quills.
And she could only stare in horror as they shaved a sample off the tip of her horn, drilled into the base, extracted a crystalline sample from within, and then sealed the hole with a laser.
After a time, the tube was removed from her throat and she was left there. And when the anesthetic agent they had given her - the one that, for her species, turned out to only be a paralytic - finally worked its way out of her system, her body finally flexed in response to the agony she'd been through, and a tortured scream ripped its way from her throat.
And then all she could do was curl up. She wanted to curl up in her wings, but her wings had been used to hurt her. Even her horn had been hurt. All she could do was activate her Tesla Shield, supercharging it with whatever magic she could bring to bear...and then weep.
She wasn't aware of her shield falling, or of Ratchet scooping her into his arms. She wasn't aware of much of anything as she escaped...until she heard something from a recording...Luna's last transmission from the base.
"Twilight's samples are incompatible with our process. We are unable to create a viable control sample."
"Then she is useless to us," a cold voice replied. "Dispose of her."
Useless...
She buried her face once more against Ratchet's coat, weeping.
After the Medical Outpost exploded, Ratchet set course to land back on the ruins to pause and check on Twilight. Much to his despair if not surprise, Twilight stayed huddled in the back seat of the ship, shivering and whimpering. He and Clank both stroked her gently, trying to calm her down and comfort her.
As they tried, Phasta Thinyu pulled up behind them on his newly customized Skyboard. "Yo dudes! Fancy seeing you here. Isn't this, like, a totally sweet skyboard course?"
"If you say so," Ratchet muttered dryly, not turning around. "It's not our concern just now."
"Not your concern?" Phasta asked, surprised. "Well, I know one little lady who-" He froze as he spotted Twilight over Ratchet's shoulder. "Dude...what happened to her?"
"It was unpleasant," Clank replied. "Let us leave it at that."
Phasta frowned in concern. "Well...she seemed to really like getting that shrink ray. Think if I gave her a new gadget, she might cheer up? I got this Polarizer I found a while back. Thought about using it to supe up my board, but this is more important."
"It's worth a shot," Ratchet allowed desperately.
Reaching under his board, Phasta pulled off the Polarizer - which resembled a giant magnet with an attached control panel - and held it out to Twilight. "Here you go," he offered. "Got a new gadget for you. Don't you want to take a look?"
Twilight stirred briefly, examining the Polarizer for a moment, before huddling back up.
"Well, it helped a little?" Phasta whined, almost pleading with the universe for it to be true as he gave the Polarizer to Ratchet. "Let me know if she gets better?"
"Will do," Ratchet promised, hopping back into the ship along with Clank, setting course for Challax, where they knew Luna was headed.
As they came in for landing on Challax, they discovered a seemingly empty world, covered in desert. "Where the heck are they?" Ratchet demanded angrily. "Did they give false coordinates or something?"
"Alternatively," Clank offered, picking up what looked like a very tiny vehicle, "we are too large to see their facility."
"Then let's get small," Ratchet stated firmly, pulling out the shrink ray. "Stay with Twilight, alright?"
"It's better if we both stick together," Clank corrected. He pressed a few buttons on the ship's controls while tweaking his own systems. "There," he said, his voice coming from both him and the ship's comms. "Now we will both be in constant communication with the ship, and it will be as though we are constantly with Twilight."
"Good thinking," Ratchet agreed, getting ready to head to the Technomite city.
Twilight sat quietly in the ship, listening to the communications from Ratchet and Clank. They both kept up a running commentary of what they were doing when they weren't in combat, doing their best to give her something to listen to, but Twilight was only barely able to focus on it. It was enough to keep her from freaking out about them not being there, but not enough to draw her out.
And then there was battle, when all she heard was the sounds of weapons fire, flung objects, and things being smashed by Ratchet's Omniwrench as he yelled at the Technomites, fueled by his rage on her behalf. She shivered a bit each time she heard that. However, it also proved, in its own way, to be the key to her recovery.
"That's it!" Ratchet shouted, the sound of yet another Technomite soldier being smashed against something heavy echoing behind his voice. "Come get some! I'm not unconscious now, am I? I'm not helpless on your table! Can you take me on now, huh? Huh?"
Twilight shivered as she heard the swing of the Omniwrench. But then the combat noise stopped.
"Ratchet, that is enough!" Clank snapped. "Get a hold of yourself!"
"What are you talking about?" Ratchet demanded.
"I understand you are angry," Clank stated calmly. "But you cannot let your anger rule you like this!"
"What?" Ratchet shouted. "Do you think I'm going to just let them get away with what they did to Twilight?"
"Justice is all well and good, but you must not seek vengeance!" Clank snapped back. "For Twilight's sake."
"Where the hell do you get off talking about-"
"You are not the only one who cares so deeply for her!" Clank barked, overriding everything Ratchet was saying and punching deep into Twilight's tormented psyche. "We both have been enraged beyond reason by what the Technomites have done...but I purged that rage on my way to rescue you both, so I could help you keep yours under control. It is all well and good to make sure the Technomites do nothing like this to anyone else, to bring them to justice for their crimes. But if you continue to seek vengeance as you are, then you are a monster no better than they are, and no good at all to Twilight!"
The comms were silent for a time. "But...what they did to her-"
"Yes," Clank replied firmly. "To her. Your concern now must be about what's best for her, just as it was back on Umbris."
More silence. Finally, Ratchet responded. "Thanks, buddy. Sorry about...shouting at you like that-"
"I'd rather you assault me verbally to purge your anger than lose your soul smashing the Technomites."
Ratchet couldn't help but chuckle. "Sure thing, Clank. Thanks."
As Ratchet and Clank continued their way through the facility, Twilight thought about what she'd heard. Clank's words percolated far too easily to things she had heard and read in various fictions. All the tales of friends banding together to raise a child placed in one of their care, whether or not there was any sort of romance between the friends. More often than not in that fiction, there wasn't. She'd always liked those stories...but never thought to apply it to her own situation here.
Her eyes lit up as a startling conclusion filled her mind, pushing her despair back fully, if only for a time. As Ratchet and Clank returned from the Technomite facility and unshrank themselves, Twilight flung herself at Clank, hugging him tightly. "I love you too, Mommy!" she squealed happily, tears in her eyes.
"Mommy?" Clank asked in shock, causing Ratchet to burst into laughter.
"Forgot you left the communications open?" Ratchet joked.
"No, I remembered," Clank corrected, wrapping his arms gently around the weeping filly. "But I certainly did not expect this level of reaction."
"No more did I," Ratchet agreed. "Not gonna argue about it, though." He smiled down at Twilight. "So what do you say, Twi? Up to helping-" He snorted in amusement. "-Mommy and Daddy hunt down the big, bad Luna-bot that tricked us into this?"
"Luna-bot?" Twilight asked, confused.
"It turns out that Luna was in fact a Technomite mobile robotic warship," Clank explained.
Twilight tapped her hoof against her chin. "You mean...I won't face charges if I cave her skull in?"
"Nope!" Ratchet confirmed happily.
"Then let's go smash her!" Twilight shouted eagerly, leaping back into the ship.
"'Mommy and Daddy'?" Clank asked Ratchet quietly.
"She's talking again," Ratchet replied just as quietly. "If I thought it would keep her happy right now, I'd dress you up in a Victorian Gown and switch your voice box to one from a Wagnerian Opera Bot. Heck, if it made her happy right now, I'd adopt Captain Qwark. So if Mommy is what she needs, get used to it."
Clank shrugged his shoulders. "No arguments there. It's fitting though, I suppose. I am the only one of us who can cook at all."
"Hey!" Twilight shouted out. "I'm getting better! I didn't burn the salad last time!"
"No," Ratchet countered playfully, "you turned it into a slime monster that died from drinking the burnt juice."
Laughing, the trio took off for the Dayni Moon, in pursuit of the Luna-bot.
Upon reaching the coordinates in question, the trio discovered that the Dayni Moon was an agricultural outpost, with diverse crops and strange looking sheep tended by robotic farmers. "A rather peaceful world," Clank commented.
"Should be easy enough to find Luna, then," Twilight growled, her wrench spinning idly in her magic. Ratchet echoed her sentiment by bringing the head of his wrench down in his hand a few times.
Shortly thereafter, they came across their first would be opponent, a robot with a rocket launcher. As they were walking down a narrow path with sheer cliffs to either side that disappeared into either clouds or fog below, Twilight seized the bot in her telekinesis and tossed it over the side.
When the sun went down, the sheep changed, becoming more monstrous in appearance. While Ratchet and Clank prepared to fight, Twilight smiled, charging a spell. When she zapped the sheep with the spell, they reverted to normal. "What was that?" Clank asked curiously.
"I recognized the transformation as an overproduction of monsterproposene in their brains, the same thing that affected Mr. ...the Proto-Pet," she explained, her voice trailing off towards the end. "I used the same spell to rebalance the production of that neuro-chemical in the sheep, since their gland is overstimulated by moonlight."
"Clever!" Ratchet praised, leading the way forward.
After leaping up a few replanted flowers to clear a cliff, the Luna-bot came into view, manipulating a few levers to send more monster sheep their way. Twilight de-monsterfied the sheep rapidly before seizing the Luna-bot in her telekinesis, dragging it forward. "I hope you didn't think you'd get away that easy!" she snapped, slamming the robo-ship into the nearby stone cliff face several times with mental force, following up by smashing it to bits with her wrench. After a great deal of smashing, the bot shut down, falling to pieces as the Technomites inside escaped. At the end, Twilight sighed happily. "...that felt good."
Ratchet and Clank stared in shock. "Well...that was...brutal."
"I hope there's enough left to scan for information," Clank pointed out.
"Oh, don't worry about that," Twilight countered, ripping a chunk of tech from the destroyed robot. "The nav comp's still intact, but any security systems are non-functional at this point. You can pluck their coordinates straight from it."
"You do try to think of everything, don't you?" Clank chuckled as he proceeded to scan the comp unit. "...their next destination was a Technomite manufacture facility...on Quodrona. I have the coordinates."
As they landed on planet Quodrona, they once more found nothing of any interest that they could see. "Another dead end?" Ratchet asked morosely.
"No," Clank pointed out, picking up another miniature vehicle. "Another tiny facility."
"Then let's shrink down tiny, find the place, then expand back to normal and stomp the place flat!" Ratchet growled, punching his fist into his hand.
"Wouldn't work," Twilight pointed out. "Technomite metals can handle impact forces many times normal levels once shrunk, in much the same way an ant can lift so many times its own weight. The smaller you are, the tougher you are."
"Then I guess we'll take them out from the inside," Ratchet relented.
Once shrunk down, the three made their way to the Technomite facility. Once inside, they were confronted by turrets...backed up by clones of Ratchet. When Twilight saw the first copy of Ratchet shooting at her, she started to hyperventilate.
"Close your eyes," Ratchet ordered Twilight before blasting the clone to bits.
After that, Clank made a quick modification to Twilight's helmet. "There," he stated as a visor slipped over her eyes. "We and those we know well are marked as friendly targets in your sight now. You won't be able to see the shape of hostile targets, so you should be okay."
Twilight nodded in agreement, priming her weapons.
The path through the facility was quite straight forward, and beyond that point they were only assaulted by Ratchet clones. No longer able to see their shape - and the fact they were all mute - Twilight was able to fight against them more readily, though she seemed to get more and more disturbed as they moved forward. However, she refused to return to the ship, despite frequent suggestions that she should.
Eventually, the three encountered the leader of the Technomites and the mastermind behind their actions...Emperor Otto. He was a tall(1), thin, pale blue skinned being with a bulbous head, thinning black hair, a mustache, and a goatee. Twilight was privately of the opinion he couldn't look more evil if he tried, sitting there on his floating throne thing.
"Ratchet, how very nice to see you," Otto purred, his voice silky smooth. "Although I'm sure you've seen enough of yourself already." He began to laugh madly.
"So, what's this all about?' Twilight demanded. "Why clone Daddy? And...and why torture me like that?"
"Simply put, because you two are the most powerful heroes the galaxy has ever known," Otto explained. "An army of clones of the two of you would have been unstoppable in gathering the geniuses of the galaxy here to allow me to absorb their intelligence, thus gaining the most powerful mind the galaxy has ever seen!"
"It won't work," Twilight pointed out bluntly.
"Oh, what do you know?" Otto countered. "You're just a child! You couldn't possibly understand my-"
"An organic brain cannot handle a knowledge transfer," Twilight explained. "Even if you could develop a machine to transfer intelligence and brain power as data, an organic brain's capacity to store data is finite. Any transfer would overwrite a portion of the existing brain, meaning you'd lose some of your brain power with every transfer. Even if you could design a system that would add brain energy without overwriting, you'd also be gaining the personality data of the sophont being scanned, and you'd end up having a split persona of every sophont you copied into you. An advanced enough robotic brain might be able to handle the influx of data without crumbling, but it wouldn't be able to utilize the raw brain power as a telekinetic force as these blueprints indicate you intend."
Emperor Otto stared at her, completely flummoxed. "...how did you get a hold of my blueprints?" he demanded.
"A friend of mine sent me them," she explained. "And I was right, the fault in your design is the limitations of an organic brain. It wouldn't transfer the intelligence of the sophont in the left pod to the one in the right. It would overwrite the sophont in the right pod with a copy of the brain wave patterns of the sophont in the left pod."
"But...but that's impossible!" Otto proclaimed angrily. "My technology is perfect!"
"Oh, it is," Twilight chided. "Your tech works exactly as you designed it. But you obviously have no idea how the brain works."
Otto growled angrily. "I should have ordered you terminated when your samples proved useless!"
"You..." an angry voice growled from above as Qwark stepped up, gigantic relative to everyone else as he was normal size. "I didn't want to believe it...I wanted to believe I'd found my family...but you did that to Twilight?"
Otto moved his hover chair back. "Now son...I understand you're upset your little friend got hurt, but-" He was forced to leap sideways out of his chair as Qwark's fist crashed into it, flattening it to the ground.
"I thought you said Technomite stuff was tougher," Ratchet whispered as he staggered back from the impact and the buckling metal floor.
"I analyzed his genetics," Twilight replied back quickly. "His brain chemistry is unique, and generates a reality weft centered around his person based in perception mechanics derived from certainty."
"What?" Ratchet asked, uncertain of the terms.
"He is physically capable of anything, as long as he has no reason to believe it is impossible," Clank translated.
"...his super power is ignorance?" Ratchet asked, groaning.
"And his weakness is fear," Clank finished.
As they staggered around, Qwark continued trying to crush Otto. "You're no father of mine! I knew that report was likely fake, but I wanted to give hope a chance! But you hurt Twilight!" He brought down both his clenched fists hard, sending towers tumbling. "For that you die!"
Scrambling, Otto managed to get a hold of the Shrink Ray Ratchet had dropped when he first lost his balance. Turning, he shrank Qwark down to the same size as everyone else.
"This changes nothing except how many times I have to hit you!" Qwark snarled, pounding his closed fist into his open hand.
"Oh, doesn't it?" Otto asked, smirking as he pointed the Shrink Ray at himself, causing himself to expand to what, relative to the others, was giant size, but was actually just their normal size.
Twilight smirked as she charged her horn, casting a spell on all four of them, returning them to normal size. "You didn't really think I'd spend that long with such a unique, energy based gadget without developing a spell form to do the same thing, did you?"
Otto grinned somewhat nervously. "How interesting," he began, lifting the Shrink Ray to his head.
Qwark's blaster snapped out from his holster, shooting the Shrink Ray out of Otto's hand. Before he could reach for it, Twilight had used her size manipulation spell to shrink him back down to his normal size, and trapped him under a force field.
"Well," Twilight began, walking forward to the small force field, smiling widely, "look how the tables have turned. It wasn't so long ago that you had me trapped, powerless in your clutches, helpless to resist against anything you might do to me." She lowered her head to look Otto in the eye as he flinched back from the electrical nature of his trap. "I imagine you expect me to show mercy, since I'm one of the heroes...but then again, on the other hand, you probably know how cruel children can be..."
She rose up over him, purple smoke pouring from the sides of her eyes. "So tell me, Otto...how does it feel to be completely helpless, and at the mercy of someone beyond your power to influence?" With a sudden movement, she brought her front hooves down hard on the shield, causing Otto to scream in pain inside as the electricity of the shield arced into and through him. "Tell me!" she roared, striking again. "How does it feel? How does it feel?" She struck again and again, her eyes going red as her coat started to darken.
She paused as her next hoof strike encountered metal rather than magic. Looking down, she saw Clank, his left arm buckling at the socket as his left hand held her hooves. He looked up at her, his eyes worried, compassionate...and pitying. "Not nearly as bad as it will feel for you...if I let you strike again."
Twilight blinked at him in confusion and anger...until she saw her own coat. Staring beyond him, she saw Otto, twitching and convulsing as the shield around him flickered. The next strike would have killed him. Twilight staggered back, her coloration returning to normal. "I didn't...I wouldn't...I...I didn't mean..."
Clank let his arm hang from its socket as he, Ratchet, and Qwark moved to embrace and comfort the poor filly, haunted by the darkness born of magic and pain.
(1) Relatively speaking, anyway. He was a Technomite, after all.
As Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark worked to comfort Twilight, Skrunch arrived in his rocket with a news printout. It showed Qwark's real parents, and gave the report of how they died...due to faulty Technomite equipment.
Qwark took it as well as he could, all things considered. Clank did his best to comfort him as well. "I recognize them from the photo," he pointed out. "Your parents were both great heroes in their own right. You should be proud."
"How can I be proud, after how much I've let them down?" he asked. "This is the third time I've been on the wrong side...and the second time as a puppet! I...I'm no hero..."
"Yes you are," Ratchet interrupted. "Making a mistake doesn't make you less of a hero...even if it is a trend. What you do once you realize the mistake is what determines that."
Qwark managed a soft smile, wiping his eyes. "Thanks Ratchet." He chuckled. "I can always count on you three to help set me straight, can't I?" He sat down heavily. "You know...I think the real reason I came to follow you wasn't just to try and join in on your adventure." He sniffed. "The truth is...you're the closest thing I have to a family..."
Skrunch, from his position on Qwark's shoulder offering comfort, was the only one to see Twilight's eyes briefly flare with a rainbow of colors. "So...we're like family to you?" she asked softly.
"Yeah," Qwark agreed, nodding his head. "Kinda pathetic of me, huh? Especially how this all started..."
"...not if we feel the same," Twilight pointed out.
"Huh?" all four around her asked, Skrunch in his monkey tongue.
"Well...I've always wanted a big brother..." she indicated, drawing circles on the ground with her hoof. "And back on Challax, I heard Daddy talking about adopting you, so I think he feels the same way."
"Really?" Qwark asked eagerly as Ratchet facepalmed.
"Forgot how good her hearing was didn't you...Dad?" Clank teased quietly.
"Shut up...Mom," Ratchet sniped back. Louder, he spoke up, "Well...if it'll make everyone happy..."
Qwark let out an ecstatic cheer as he pulled all three of them into a hug. "I love you sis!" he called out, kissing Twilight on the cheek and making her giggle. "I love you Mom!" Kissing Clank on the cheek caused him to spark uncertainly. "I love you Dad!"
The things I do for Twilight, Ratchet thought ruefully, rubbing at his cheek.
"Now we can do all that fun family stuff I see on TV!" Twilight called happily.
The three men around her glanced at each other, wondering if they could pull this off.
Back on Veldin, Twilight, Qwark, and Skrunch sat around the dinner table. Twilight sat in a high chair to put her above the height of the new table - adjusted so Qwark could sit comfortably with them all - tilting her head in confusion at her new brothers. Skrunch was wearing green overalls, a white t-shirt, an ornate orange choker, a blonde wig, and a green hat of unusual design...and a jetpack. Qwark was wearing a white and black striped T-shirt and his old school's varsity hoverball jacket. He was also attempting to convince her of something she simply didn't understand.
"Why do I need the frying pan?" she asked yet again.
"Because," Qwark explained, "when Ratchet comes in to say hi to you, you're supposed to whack him upside the head with it and say, 'Not the Mama!' It's part of these 'normal family' things you talked about. I should know. It's from my favorite old family TV sitcom. I used to watch it all the time when I was younger."
Twilight tilted her head in confusion. "I...must have missed that one. It doesn't ring any bells." She glanced towards Skrunch. "And...that one doesn't either."
"But...But Ratchet said you always enjoyed Old Earth TV," Qwark pointed out. "That's what these are all from."
"Huh?" she asked in surprise.
At that moment, Ratchet stepped in through the front door, wearing a white button down shirt under a black suit with a red tie. "Clanky, I'm home!" he called out happily.
Finally realizing what was going on, Twilight burst into laughter. "Did...did you all dress up as...characters from...different shows about families?"
The four men glanced at each other with a shrug. "It...would seem so," Clank admitted.
Ratchet scratched the back of his head. "We really should have coordinated better-" He paused as he caught sight of the frying pan. "Hey! No bludgeoning! Besides, Twilight's much too old to be the Baby."
Twilight continued to laugh. "That's not what I meant!" she gasped out. "I just...I wanted us to do normal family things...as us, now that we're a family."
"Then again," Clank pointed out, "we are the last Lombax, a uniquely designed robot, an unusual superhero, and a talking candy colored pony with wings and horn. We are not exactly normal."
Qwark shrugged. "Normal's overrated anyway."
That got a laugh out of everyone.
Later on that night, Qwark was reading Twilight a bedtime story from a picture book, making the story up as he went along. Of course, the story was all about some insanely fantastic exploit of his that probably had little anchor in reality or actual events, but Twilight was absolutely enthralled. As he reached the end of the story, she let out an adorable yawn.
"Sounds like someone's ready for beddy," he teased, tucking her in.
"Stay with me?" she pleaded sleepily.
With a soft smile, Qwark pulled out something he'd been working on. It was a small pendant in the shape of his Q symbol, on a silver chain long enough to be slipped over Twilight's head but short enough to not hang down to her hooves. "Here," he said, slipping it onto her. "As long as you wear that, no matter where you or I are...I'm always with you."
Twilight stared down at the pendant happily before letting out another yawn. "I love you, BBBFF," she murmured as she dozed off.
Qwark smiled, wiping a tear from his eye. It was the first time she called him that, but he instinctively knew what it meant and how to respond. "Love you too," he whispered as he planted a kiss just below the base of her horn, "LSBFF."
As he turned to his own bed for the night, he didn't see the pendant he'd just given her briefly flash with a rainbow sheen.
For the 12th day in a row in the little house on Veldin, Clank was the only one to wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed. Ratchet was grumbling and rubbing his eyes, Qwark was engaged in an excess of uncomfortable stretching, and Twilight was sitting in the window, staring out at the ground and blinking her eyes. Clank had noticed that everyone had been having trouble sleeping ever since Qwark had moved in, but no one had said anything about it. Clank, however, decided it was time to address whatever the issue was before it festered into an argument. "So how did everyone sleep?" he asked solicitously.
"Not well," Ratchet yawned. "Qwark's snoring was like a foghorn...like every night..."
"My bed's too small," Qwark murmured as he stretched, pointing to the small cot he had been sleeping on. "Can't really get comfortable."
"Qwark's so big he blocks the breezeway," Twilight muttered. "I don't get any ventilation, and it's too hot..."
Clank blinked, surprised at how clear the problems were. "And...why didn't any of you say anything?"
"Didn't want Qwark or Twilight feeling guilty," Ratchet muttered as he chugged his coffee...which, because he wasn't fully awake when he made it, was actually boiled chili powder. He wound up spitting the fiery beverage against the wall...before taking another sip.
"Was too happy about finally having a family to want to complain about anything," Qwark muttered, a loud crack echoing as he finished his stretches. "...ow..."
"The dimensions of the house is such that no matter how our sleeping positions are rearranged, the new dimensions of sleeping figures will result in my bed getting an insufficient amount of ventilation for comfortable sleeping," Twilight indicated rapidly. "Since the problem couldn't be fixed, I saw no point in complaining."
Qwark blinked. "She gets...real technical when she's tired, doesn't she?"
"You have no idea," Ratchet muttered as he continued to drink. "Say, does the coffee have more kick this morning or something?"
"It's kinda cute," Qwark giggled, snapping his head back into proper alignment after the stretching with a loud snap.
"The coffee?"
"No, Twilight getting technical."
Clank scratched the back of his head. "Well, this house is a bit small for a family of four...perhaps we should renovate?"
Twilight let out a pleading whimper, turning towards the group with sorrowful eyes.
"I...don't think she likes that idea," Qwark pointed out.
"The whole place has sentimental value for both of us," Ratchet pointed out. "It...wouldn't feel right to redesign it."
"Then our only other option would be to find a new abode that can handle all four of us," Clank indicated.
"I do own a house in Metropolis," Qwark pointed out. "Got it back in my heroing days. It might be big enough for all four of us."
"...nice?" Clank asked, shocked beyond words at the understatement.
"Little?" Ratchet demanded, equally shocked.
"Why didn't you mention it?" Twilight demanded.
"You didn't ask," Qwark replied easily. "Besides, I...wanted to know what it was like to live in a family home..."
"Then we shall simply have to turn your 'bachelor pad' into a family home," Clank concluded. "It is certainly more attuned to our needs now than this place, and holds fewer sentimental attachments. It shouldn't be too difficult."
Ratchet, Qwark, and Twilight all smiled at the prospect.
A week after the Sparkle family(1) had finished moving in and renovating the 'house' Qwark had gifted to the family at large, an unexpected visitor stopped by.
"Sasha!" Twilight called out happily as the familiar Cazar came into their new home. She rushed forward and hugged her old friend, only to back up a bit with a giggle. "I mean, Galactic President Sasha Phyronix, how good to see you."
Sasha chuckled as she set down a large fruit basket she'd brought as a house warming gift. "Please, this isn't a formal visit. I'm just visiting some old friends." This statement was backed up by the fact that she was wearing black sweats rather than her usual uniform. "Just thought I'd come welcome you all to the neighborhood...or in Qwark's case, back to the neighborhood."
"Looking good, Sasha," Ratchet said happily. "Can you stay for dinner? Clank cooks a mean swordfish surprise."
"I still haven't figured out what the surprise is!" Qwark pouted. "But I won't give up!"
"Me neither, and I've run every scientific analysis I can think of!" Twilight complained.
Leaning in, Ratchet whispered in Sasha's ear, "There actually isn't a surprise, but calling it that lets those two have fun speculating, and makes it feel like a family event."
Sasha couldn't help but giggle. "Well, I'd be happy to stay," she replied gladly. "Maybe I can help you figure out what the surprise is."
"Nuh uh!" Qwark countered. "Whichever of us figures out the surprise first gets double dessert! I'm not losing on that!"
"Those cheesecake brownies are mine!" Twilight snapped back.
Sasha couldn't help but laugh as she took the offered seat at the table. Swordfish Surprise turned out to be rather heavenly seasoned swordfish steaks, fire roasted russet potato chunks with the skins on, mixed vegetables cooked to perfection, white grape juice for Twilight and Qwark, and white wine for Ratchet and Sasha. The cheesecake brownies served afterwards were just as delectable.
"I think I ate too much," Sasha moaned out as she finished. "My compliments to the chef, and how much do I have to pay to hire him out from under you for the Presidential Palace?"
"I'm afraid I don't have a price," Clank replied jovially, "but I thank you for the compliment."
"Say, Sasha," Twilight spoke up, "any luck getting a replacement for the head of the Planetary Defense Center? I heard the last one retired."
Sasha shrugged. "Not yet. The problem is that the position is being a glorified figure head. The job's basically looking good for the cameras, knowing how to fight just in case, and knowing how to convince people things aren't as bad as they seem. What warrior could I hire to be a glorified press secretary?"
Qwark blinked as three sets of eyes turned his way. "Why are you all looking at me?"
(1)When they had decided to make them being a family official, Ratchet and the others had to select a family name. However, Twilight and Qwark were the only ones who had multiple names, and Qwark categorically refused to let his name become the family name, since he was joining the family, not overtaking it. As such, they became Ratchet Sparkle, Clank Sparkle, Copernicus Leslie Qwark Sparkle, and Twilight Sparkle. Twilight had made a joke about Qwark collecting names...which had led to him trying to extend his name even further with additional names, or simply words. Thankfully, Ratchet kept all the legal stationary.
Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight stood together on the roof of their home, working on a new experimental hover bike together. It had been a couple of years since they'd moved into Qwark's old bachelor pad, now their family home. Twilight was now 14 years old, and was as tall as Ratchet if she stood on her hind legs, coming up to just below his shoulders when on all fours. While their life together was quite happy, her main regret was that Sasha's work as Galactic President kept her from visiting as often as she would have liked, meaning that nothing really big had happened yet between her and Ratchet. Ratchet didn't seem to mind, since they talked often, he was frequently consulted on any number of things, and he and Sasha often sought out 'alone time' when she was over to visit.(1) However, both knew they weren't at a point in their lives for a permanent commitment.
Clank began going down the checklist for the bike. "Fuel lines?" he asked.
Twilight did a quick scan of the internals. "Check."
"Horizontal stabilizers?"
"Check," Ratchet confirmed after examining the bike's wings.
"Ion thrusters?" Clank inquired.
Twilight's attention shifted as she felt a change in the breeze. "Tail wind..." she breathed eagerly.
"If we timed it right," Ratchet added, "we could ride the slipstream of the grav-train past the c-grid traffic-"
"-launch the mag-grappler onto that pedway overpass-" Twilight added eagerly.
"-and slingshot right up to-"
"Ion. Thrusters," Clank interrupted Ratchet firmly, catching both their attentions. As he saw them both chuckling nervously, he shook his head. "Last I checked, Ratchet, you were the Father of this little family. Qwark's the overgrown manchild."
"The thrusters are fine, Clank," Ratchet reassured, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment as Twilight giggled. "See?" He quickly switched them on, only for them to start to burn out.
"I got it!" Twilight said happily, racing around to the back of the bike, using her magic to manipulate the internals. "Probably just a fused ion duct or something-"
Clank's data tablet immediately began blaring the emergency signal. "Speaking of the overgrown manchild," Clank commented, letting the tablet float up to display the message.
"Mom, Dad, there's a situation at the Planetary Defense Center," Qwark explained quickly. "It's...not too bad. I...I could probably take on all...thousand...or so...heavily armed robotic commandos that are invading the planet, but...well, I wouldn't want to hog all the fun, right? And...well, I figure a flanking maneuver or two might be useful-" Letting out a quick scream, he raised the energy shield on his left arm to block a laser blast. Abandoning all signs of bravado, he screamed out, "HEEEEEELLLLP!!!!!" before drawing his blaster with his right hand and returning fire. The signal cut out.
Twilight tilted her head. "...I'm not sure if he's better or worse than when we first met him," she murmured.
"It's definitely an improvement in some areas," Clank muttered.
"Well, sounds like he needs some backup!" Ratchet pointed out, pushing the bike to the edge of the roof. "Let's go before we lose the tailwind."
"After we're through with them?" Twilight offered.
Laughing, Ratchet started the engines.
"Are you both certain this is functioning properly?" Clank asked.
Twilight grinned madly as she seized the main throttle. "I have no idea!" she shouted as she threw the lever.
The bike jumped off the edge of the roof...and promptly began to plummet.
"...huh, guess not," Twilight commented calmly as Ratchet and Clank began to scream.
Some careful maneuvering, an overcharged auxiliary thruster, some crazed stunts, and a badly placed blimp later, the trio pushed themselves out of the pile of rubble that had once been the bike. Thanks to the safety features Twilight had installed, none of the passengers were damaged. "Guess we're walking," Ratchet offered pleasantly.
"We can try out the new nav units!" Twilight offered eagerly.
Clank couldn't help but smile, pleased to see that Twilight had, at long last, recovered her irrepressible optimism. It was good to know that the actions of Vox and Otto had not broken her, and that at long last she was back to her old self...if rather clingy.
"What are our weapons like?" Ratchet asked. "Did we remember our arsenals?"
Twilight blinked. "Actually...we've only got a couple of the new line up," she admitted. "The ones that can be upgraded with Raritanium, in addition to leveling them up through use. But don't worry. I'll be able to build something to summon all our old weapons if I get a hold of the right parts."
"Well, make sure your Combuster and Fusion Grenade launcher is prepped," Ratchet ordered. "We're going in."
In addition to ordinary robots, there appeared to be strange fish-like aliens in domes controlling robotic bodies. As all appeared hostile, Ratchet and Twilight tore through them without concern. However, Twilight kept her ears open, and heard that they were looking for 'the Lombax', and were under orders to 'bring his head back to the Emperor'. Idly, she wondered if this might have something to do with what Angela Cross had told her back when she'd parted ways from Ratchet.
The trio made their way through the city with relative ease. Even without the majority of their arsenal, they were simply too experienced to be taken down easily, and the small groups they encountered were no match for them. Where their weapons weren't enough, Twilight's magic provided the same assistance it did back in their first adventure, and Twilight's flight made things even easier.
The first real obstacle they encountered was when they had to race across the Sky Bridge as it collapsed underneath them, though Ratchet was the only one who had to run. Clank was on Ratchet's back, and Twilight took to the sky as soon as the footing became unstable. Ratchet was light enough on his feet to easily outrun the collapse, even with robots on the bridge trying to kill him.
Grinding along the grav train rails proved slightly more problematic, since the trains were still using them. "Whoever's in charge of managing traffic needs to be fired," Ratchet grumbled as he leapt back and forth between the rails to dodge yet more oncoming trains.
As they approached the Planetary Defense Center, the trio was forced to free fall down to it from above, through rush hour traffic. As they dove, Ratchet and Clank noticed Twilight's ecstatic expression as she deliberately cut close to several vehicles, whooping it up as she barely evaded harm. "When did she turn into a thrill seeker?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"Probably while fighting Nefarious," Clank mused.
"Wonder whatever happened to him," Ratchet posited idly as they landed safely.
Unfortunately, Qwark wasn't presently in the Planetary Defense Center, and the trio had to immediately withdraw when it became apparent that, yes, Ratchet was the invaders primary target. As they fled down more grind rails, they eventually came under fire by a large warship. Reaching the end of the rails, they found themselves cornered by the warship and an army of robotic commandos.
The warship came to a halt, and a mechanical walker carried out a tiny figure with a large head, dressed all in red, on a throne. "Behold!" he proclaimed wickedly. "The last Lombax in the universe! ...truly a pathetic specimen of the race, I'm afraid...so weak."
"And you are?" Ratchet asked.
The creature stood up on tiny, spindly legs, raising a strangely configured scepter. "Emperor Percival Tachyon, Crown Prince of the Cragmites, conqueror of space and time, and - pending the obliteration of a few insubordinate species - Ruler of the Universe!"
"So why are you after my Daddy?" Twilight asked.
"I have sworn my vengeance against the Lombaxes for what they did to my once noble race!" Tachyon proclaimed. "I will hunt down and exterminate every last Lombax in the cosmos...and annihilate them!"
"How come it took you so long to find Daddy, then?" Twilight asked, all eyes on her as Ratchet and Clank began to sneak around the Emperor towards his warship. "I mean, Daddy and I have been in the news for years."
"That's odd," Percival commented, tapping a few keys on his wrist unit. "He only appeared within my search parameters just last month."
Twilight hopped up onto the throne, examining the screen. "...why is the search parameters locked onto 'Lombaxes' or 'Lombax invention'?"
"Because that's the only way I'd know I would only get current activity, rather than constant barrages of how this, that, or the other thing is related to Lombax tech!" the Cragmite barked out.
"You mean...it wasn't Daddy saving the galaxy five times that brought you to him," Twilight began. "Or his 'whirlwind romance' with the Galactic President, or even his adoption of another Galactic superhero...it was his invention of the 'Thunderpants'? The electrified undergarments?"
"Umm...yes?" Percival offered, feeling like he was being scolded somehow.
Twilight stared at him flat eyed. "...I'm going to enjoy rearranging your digestive tract when the time comes," she stated bluntly before teleporting into the warship, which promptly took off as Ratchet and Clank had gained control of it while she'd kept them all distracted.
(1) Out of consideration for Twilight's nose, one of the bedrooms had been specifically set aside for Ratchet and Sasha's "alone time", and Twilight kept her distance from it.
As the trio settled into the pilot's seats of the ship's controls, the computer spoke up. "Auto pilot engaged."
"We'd better hang on tight!" Ratchet shouted out. Twilight and Clank immediately strapped themselves in.
"Hyperspace boosters online," the computer continued. "Engaging cryosleep."
As a strange gas began filtering out of grills on the control console, Twilight's helmet automatically activated the O2 mask, giving her clean air to breathe. "Good thing I increased the yield on this," she pointed out. "I'm good for three days."
As Ratchet slumped into unconsciousness, Clank grinned. "And it is a good thing cryosleep doesn't work on robots." As he began to chuckle, a panel on the control console popped open and he received a punching glove on a spring to the face, slamming him into his chair and knocking him out.
Twilight promptly surrounded herself and her chair with an energy shield. "Beat that!" she challenged the computer. "Ouch!" she added as something pricked her rump. Turning, she saw a hypodermic retracting into the seat cushion. "Clever girl..." Her words drifted off as she slumped into unconsciousness.
"Cryosleep engaged," the computer asserted firmly, and more than a trifle smugly.
When the three came to, the ship had crashed on an unknown planet in an unknown sector of space. Twilight simply glowered at the ship, considering its computer at fault for the crash for being so insistent on cryosleep.
Looking around, the planet was lush and fertile, and they seemed to have crashed in a jungle segment not far from a city, or at least what looked like a spaceport.
"Come on, you guys," Ratchet pointed out. "We need to find another ship and get back to Kerwan."
Nodding agreement, Twilight followed as Clank leapt onto Ratchet's back. At first the path seemed rather straightforward, the only hostile lifeforms being small reptilians that resembled baby dinosaurs. When attacked, they could be felled with a single swing of the Omniwrench. A larger hostile lifeform resembled a giant centipede that spat explosive balls of acid. It took several more hits to take down.
Though the terrain was varied, the path continued straightforward, and was relatively easy for the experienced trio to traverse. However, the ease of travel that the trio had been enjoying was disturbed when a massive creature reared up out of a deep pit. It resembled a large fish that hovered in midair, a large part of the underside of its body glowing blue, with the top side being stone brown. It didn't actually attack them, but it gave the trio pause nonetheless.
"W...what was that?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"No clue," Ratchet replied.
"Perhaps, instead of attempting to find out, we should continue with our efforts to get off this planet," Clank offered.
Quickly agreeing, the trio made their way further along, continuing to follow the path. Discovering a large box filled with crystals, the trio examined it to discover it was full of Raritanium.
"Finders keepers," Ratchet decided, stowing the Raritanium away for use in weapon upgrades.
As they progressed further on, the creature from before arose to attack them. It swam through the air, dropping spheres of electrically explosive energy, while occasionally diving down to try and bite them or spit acidic energy at them. Twilight discovered that, while she couldn't grab the spheres of energy with her magic, using a flat plane in motion could knock the spheres into the massive beast. She decided to go with a giant magic projection of a ping pong paddle, while Ratchet focused on using the Combuster and Fusion Grenade launcher to deliver damage. Before long, the beast's body swelled before exploding, a sphere of blue light and gas left behind, which found its way into Ratchet's inventory, along with a large amount of Raritanium that fell out of the creature's body.
"Congratulations," Ratchet's nav unit spoke up. "You have collected a Leviathan Soul. These are valuable in the Polaris Galaxy, and can be traded for bolts."
"I...guess it was a Leviathan," Ratchet allowed.
"And we're apparently in the Polaris Galaxy," Twilight pointed out. "We're really close to the Zero Coordinates, then."
"Zero Coordinates?" Ratchet asked, confused.
"The hypothetical center of the universe, from which all of the cosmos are measured in terms of the coordinate grid," Clank explained. "Many have tried to reach the Zero Coordinates, but the space around it is...unusual."
"And what are the chances that this information will be innocuous trivia rather than unexpectedly significant to our journeys?" Ratchet joked.
"Unlikely," Clank mused, having learned to recognize certain patterns by now.
"Although I don't think it qualifies as unexpected at this point," Twilight added with a giggle.
Not far beyond that, the trio reached the city they'd spotted from a distance, which had a large sign proclaiming it as 'Cobalia Spaceport'.
"Guess this is Planet Cobalia," Ratchet offered as the trio moved into the city. As they entered the spaceport, they could hear an announcement talking about how a Lombax had infiltrated the star sector. "So much for anonymity," Ratchet growled.
"Assuming anyone here will actually know what a Lombax looks like," Twilight pointed out. "It's not saying anything about me, or about Clank, so if you tie your tail around your waist like a belt and call yourself a Cazar and no one will blink twice."
"And your Omniwrenches?" Clank asked.
"Reverse engineered," Twilight countered quickly as Ratchet proceeded to bind his tail as suggested. "As long as we stay out of Tachyon's sight, no one should realize who we are."
"I guess it's time to be stealthy, then," Ratchet allowed, carefully leading the way into the spaceport.
With Ratchet's 'disguise' in place, the trio made their way into the Cobalia spaceport. Their first stop was the weapon vendor. Approaching the automated device, they discovered it was actually a remote uplink to a network.
"Welcome to Grummel-net's Weapon Shop," a gruff voice said through a communications grill. "Here you can buy ammo, upgrade your weapon, or purchase new tools of destruction. Go ahead, name your poison."
Ratchet and Twilight glanced at each other nervously. "Umm...do you take Gadgetron bolt cards?" Twilight asked nervously.
"Gadgetron?" the voice replied in surprise. "Huh. Didn't think anyone in the Polaris galaxy would know that name."
"So...do you?" Ratchet asked for clarification.
"Kid, Grummel-net is the Polaris branch of Gadgetron," the voice replied. "While regulations dictate we can't sell or deliver Solana weaponry to Polaris systems without written approval from Orvus Zoni-"
"Who?" Clank asked, the name ringing a chord in his programming.
"I dunno. It's just on the contracts," the voice replied. "But anyway, if you've got a Gadgetron account, I can sell you anything Grummel-net with whatever discounts and the like attached to your account. Just insert your card, and we can get right to the dealing."
Smiling, Twilight inserted her bolt card - and Gadgetron ID - into the indicated slots.
"Well blow me down!" the vendor proclaimed. "It's Twilight ruddy Sparkle! What are you doing all the way out here in Polaris?"
"Buying weapons," Twilight replied jokingly.
"Fair enough," the vendor agreed. "I'll just let Mr. Fixit know you've been located. He's had an intergalactic APB out ever since you vanished during Tachyon's attack on Metropolis."
"Well, let him know I'm doing just fine," Twilight requested. "So what do you have to sell?"
"Well, first there's the brand new Tornado Launcher and Plasma Beasts," the vendor began, going into his spiel as the weapons in question were displayed. "The Tornado Launcher, as the name indicates, launches a tornado disc which you can remotely guide to destroy your enemies. The Plasma Beasts, once launched, lie in wait until anything designated 'hostile' enters their range, at which point they launch themselves at the target and burst into toxic - and caustic - goo. Excellent for getting past shields and taking down groups."
"Oooh!" Ratchet crowed, rubbing his hands together in eagerness.
"We've also got some combat gadgets available, too," the vendor continued. "The Groovitron you started working on based on that spell you used in the final battle of Annihilation Nation - you know, the one you never finished because you had to take time off? - has been completed and ready for combat use. We also have the Leech Bomb, which will drain nanotech right out of your enemies to replenish yours."
"We'll take everything!" Twilight proclaimed happily. "How much will that put me out?"
"Barely a drop in the bucket, thanks to interest rates," the vendor replied. "Want to upgrade them, too? Ever since the development of upgradable weapons, your account's been credited a good amount of raritanium, too. For bonuses."
Twilight's grin was almost vicious. "Yes!"
A few minutes later, Ratchet and Twilight were each equipped with all available weapons and battle gadgets, fully upgraded. "Keep an eye out for the armor vendors!" the vendor called from the grill. "They work for us, too!"
Smiling, the pair continued onward through the port, looking for an available ship. Eventually, the came across a blue skinned, lizard faced sophont dressed as a pirate arguing with a huge headed and eyed parrot.
"Don't you lay this on me, you worthless sack of Kerchu sweat!" he was shouting. "You were supposed to watch the gel gauge!"
"AWK!" the parrot replied. "Blame the parrot! Always blame the parrot!"
"Nothing for you to worry about, little lady," the reptile replied.
"AWK!" the parrot shouted. "Imperial spies! Hide the bodies! AWK!"
Before anyone else could react, Twilight had her combuster at the parrot's face. "Go ahead," she growled out. "Associate me with that idiot Tachyon again. I'd love to see what these upgrades do."
The parrot stared at her for a time. "AWK! Can I have a cracker?"
The reptilian alien couldn't help but laugh. "No need to be so hostile, little lady," he said graciously. "He don't mean no harm. We're just a couple of smugglers, is all. My partner's just a tad paranoid."
Twilight withdrew her gun with a smile. "I'm Twilight. What are your names?"
"AWK! No names! No tracks! AWK!"
"Well, I have to call you both something!" Twilight complained.
The Smuggler scratched his chin for a bit. "Well, how about you give us some nicknames, then?" he suggested.
Twilight glanced back and forth between them for a time, then grinned. "You're Blue Shift," she proclaimed, pointing to the smuggler. "And you're Red Shift," she finished, pointing to the parrot.
"AWK! Capital idea! AWK!"
Blue Shift chuckled. "Well, that's something to smile about today..."
"Is there a problem, sir?" Clank asked, walking up along with Ratchet.
"The imperials have shut down the Gelatonium plant," Blue Shift explained. "As a result, we can't refuel our ship."
"We'll turn it back on if you'll give us a lift off-world," Ratchet offered.
Blue Shift grinned widely. "Friend, you've got yourselves a deal." He pulled out a device reminiscent of the old Hydrodisplacer. "You'll need this Gelanator to pull the job off."
"Thanks!" Twilight said happily, eager to play with the new toy.
Progress through the Gelatonium plant was rather uneventful, although at times Ratchet did have to get firm about moving forward, as Twilight enjoyed bouncing on the gel cubes the Gelanator produced a little too much. Even the gel eaters weren't a problem, as Twilight was able to surround the gel cubes with magic walls that prevented the gel eaters from chowing down. Once the plant was fully operational, the trio exited the factory.
On the way back to Blue Shift, Twilight and Ratchet paused at the Armor Vendor to see about getting the new Blackstar Armor. They proved to actually have a model fitted to Twilight as well, which was quite surprising.
"Snazzy new threads," Blue Shift commented as they caught back up to him in front of his ship. "I'm heading ta Stratus City myself. That work for you three?"
"Sounds good," Ratchet agreed. "We'll figure out our own path from there."
"Then hop on in," he agreed, gesturing them inside.
As the ship entered Planet Kortog's atmosphere, on approach to Stratus City, Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight began quizzing Blue Shift regarding details of the local situation.
"So...the Polaris Galaxy...Tachyon owns all of it?" Ratchet clarified.
"Yup," Blue Shift confirmed. "Ironic, ain't it? The one Cragmite they didn't vaporize comes back to oppress the galaxy."
"Who is they?" Clank asked.
"You're talking about the Lombaxes, aren't you?" Twilight asked. "That's why Tachyon's after Daddy, isn't it-oops!" She quickly covered her mouth with her hooves.
"No need to fret, little lady," Blue Shift reassured her. "You're dead on the money...though that Cazar disguise might work on most of Polaris. The idea of doing anything like that with their tails was unthinkable to most Lombaxes, so any native of Polaris - including Tachyon - will assume that the lack of tail prominence means he ain't a Lombax."
"AWK!" Red Shift shouted out. "All hail the Lombaxes! AWK! Saviors of the Universe!"
At that point, the communicator beeped. "Attention transport vessel. A bioscan reveals a Lombax lifeform aboard your vessel. Stand by for immediate disintegration."
"Then again, bioscanners don't judge..." Blue Shift admitted. The ship suddenly lurched forward at increased velocity. "What the-" Turning back, he saw the cargo hold was empty...save a note.
Thanks for the lift. Sorry for not saying goodbye, but if we stayed onboard, we'd all get zapped. So I blinked us and all the cargo out. See you later! Twilight
"Heh. Thoughtful little lady," Blue Shift chuckled.
"AWK! Too young for you!"
"I know that!" Blue Shift took a swing at his parrot as he steered the ship out of weapons range.
The free fall into the city proved no more difficult than any other such free fall, and the trio landed safely. Once they landed, they each purchased a Predator Launcher - and fully upgraded it - from the nearby vendor hologram. They then proceeded to carve their way through the enemy units being dropped in to attack them, their weapons proving quite effective. Some of the enemies carried shields that blocked most weapons fire, but Twilight had no interest in fair play, and used her magic aura to crush the robotic hands clutching the shields before ripping them away, and then destroying them.
They ignored Tachyon's announcements that slandered Ratchet's character, since he wasn't even as good at it as Gleeman Vox had been, and continued their trek into the city. Not long after, they found the Shock Ravager, an electric whip based weapon. Twilight was able to use her magic to duplicate it, and they then backtracked to the vendor to upgrade them. After all, a weapon designed to disable enemy shields was bound to be useful.
At one point, Ratchet was forced to latch his Swing Shot onto a sky tram in order to progress onward. Twilight, for her part, took flight. At the next skydock, the pair tried out their new Predator Launchers, firing multiple lock on missiles at once. Twilight found herself missing some of her more powerful weapon tweaks, and even her RYNO IV.
Not long after that, the group encountered a gel tank from which they could fill up the Gelanator. A brief bouncy detour brought them to a chest full of more Raritanium before they returned to their journey through the city.
At one point, Clank paused. "Ratchet...Twilight...those creatures are telling us to go inside that building."
"Creatures?" Ratchet asked, turning. "What creatures?" Gazing in the direction Clank was staring, he saw nothing.
Twilight turned to look. "...wait...you mean the floaty glowing tiny robots that seem sort of translucent and I can only see clearly if I squint while focusing my magic?" she clarified.
"They...do not seem translucent to me," Clank stated.
"Whee?" one of the robots offered, confused.
Twilight gasped as a memory surged to the fore, a sound she'd barely heard and never considered. "They're tooth fairies!" she gasped happily.
"They're what?" Ratchet demanded in confusion.
"It was a creature like these that took my tooth and left the ticking egg behind way back on Veldin!" Twilight crowed happily. "They are real!"
The robots in question floated over to Clank, and he felt energy flowing into him. The flight pack erupted out of him, energizing as the wings turned crystalline rather than metallic.
"And...the invisible magic robots just upgraded you," Ratchet muttered.
"What makes you think they're magic?" Clank asked.
"Because Twilight can see them but I can't," Ratchet explained.
"Alternatively, they might use a form of energy unrelated to magic that I've somehow been heavily exposed to," Twilight hypothesized as she examined her scanner readouts. "Given the high levels of chronitons left behind from their manipulation of Mommy's tech, they probably utilize time energy. It's entirely possible that my arrival on Veldin involved quantum displacement."
"In which case these tiny time bots are the only clue we have for where you come from," Ratchet concluded with a sigh. "Great. Guess we do what the fairy bots tell us, then."
The new Robo-Wings proved to be only a minor improvement over the original flight pack, negating the need for the anti-grav suit. Twilight couldn't help but giggle at the idea that the improvements that 'magic time fairy bots' were so slight as compared to one of her Daddy's first inventions for personal use.
At the end of the flight, the trio reached a building dubbed 'The Hall of Knowledge'. Twilight visibly squealed at the mere idea of a building filled with all the knowledge of an entire galaxy. Then an automated announcement played.
"Attention citizen. You have entered the Hall of Knowledge without authorization. Knowledge has been declared contraband by Emperor Tachyon. Any attempt to learn while on these premises will result in permanent confinement in Zordoom Prison."
Ratchet took one look at the look on Twilight's face and rapidly backed up to the opposite end of the room. However, Twilight apparently had better self control than he'd thought. "Daddy?" she asked, her voice almost sickeningly sweet.
"Yes Twilight?" Ratchet asked worriedly.
"When we have the chance at Tachyon...can I perform an...experiment?"
"What sort?" Ratchet asked in concern.
"I want to cut open his belly, throw a loop of his guts over a thorny tree at the edge of a cliff, and kick him over the edge," Twilight replied sweetly. "Ever since I read about that hunchbacked sorcerer discussing the experiment, I've been idly curious about whether or not the tensile strength of intestines was enough to bounce at a height like that...and I've finally found someone I hate enough to want to try it."
"...I'd really rather you didn't, Twilight," Ratchet said carefully. "I...don't think that sort of behavior is good for you. Remember Otto?"
Twilight shuddered as the mad grin left her face. "Right...I should just incinerate him..." She shivered again.
"In the meantime, you can give his rules a giant middle finger-"
"I don't have any fingers," Twilight pointed out.
"Middle feather, perhaps?" Clank offered.
"-and read everything in this entire hall," Ratchet concluded.
The high pitch squeal shattered the gelatinous domes around the fishlike creatures piloting the nearby enemy robots, disabling them completely.
A large portion of the Hall of Knowledge had underwater passages. Thankfully, Twilight had used the Shrink Ray technology to miniaturize the submersible pod that Derek Tovid had helped her build for a movie stunt, and installed it in her basic armor unit so it would deploy whenever she needed to go underwater. That way, she wouldn't have to worry about getting her wings wet.
Eventually, after a few detours for Twilight to download various bits of information into an intergalactic Cloud account, they reached the map room. In the Map Room itself, Clank was able to get coordinates for Planet Fastoon...a Lombax planet.
Since enemy units were about to break in after them, the trio quickly escaped in the escape pod, programming it with Planet Fastoon's coordinates. Unfortunately, Clank didn't have time to tell Ratchet...that Planet Fastoon was registered as 'deserted'.
Due to the ramshackle construction of the pod, conversation while inside it was impossible, since all three passengers had to be strapped in so tight for safety that they could feel every shake of the pod. On top of that, there were only two sets of safety harnesses, so Clank had to stay strapped to Ratchet's back or bounce around the cockpit randomly. As a result, he was unable to tell either of them what he had learned about Planet Fastoon until after they'd landed rather heavily.
As they stepped out of the pod, they stared around in dismay. "Mommy," Twilight whimpered, "I thought you said this was a Lombax planet..."
"Yes," Clank replied sadly. "Was. The records show that it was deserted ages ago. No explanation was given."
"But...it looks like this place was attacked from space," Ratchet moaned, staring about at the devastation. "I was...hoping I could...I could..."
Twilight sorrowfully walked over to Ratchet, nuzzling him. She knew exactly what he had been hoping. He'd promised her long ago to help her find her homeworld, her people. He had been hoping he would find his here.
Mustering his sorrow and stroking Twilight's neck comfortingly, Ratchet did his best to observe his surroundings objectively, trying to find something useful. His eyes fell on an old red ship, looking not much larger than their own back in Solana, but much more advanced, if derelict. "Clank, Twilight, look! It's an old ship!"
Twilight immediately rushed to the ship, using her magic to lift the entire thing out of the ground it was partially embedded in, extending the landing gear and setting it down gently. "It's a bit damaged...but I think we can fix it up if we can find the right components!" She examined the sides. "It looks like there's writing here, but...I can't read it!"
Twilight and Clank both approached. "It...it looks familiar..." Ratchet murmured.
"According to my database, it is Lombax writing," Clank informed them. "However, I do not have a translation index for that language-"
"I do!" Twilight called out happily. "It's one of the things I downloaded for later perusal back in the Hall of Knowledge!" Tapping away at her console controls on one foreleg, she called up the program in question. "Hmm...over here it says 'Aphelion'..." She wandered over to the other side. "This one says Angel..." She climbed into the cockpit after forcing it open. "There's a serial number here...and some papers in the glove compartment, but it's locked...was locked." There was a click as she popped the lock. "Let's see what this says...Experimental Ship Project Angel Seed?"
"What's that?" Ratchet asked, climbing up after her, Clank right behind him.
"Apparently this ship was a prototype built by a Lombax scientist, given a ship not just an Artificial Intelligence, but an Artificial Soul...capable of all the thoughts and feelings of a living thing, and the instincts of one as well. To the point where the auto-pilot could react at computer speeds, but with the gut reactions of an organic pilot. It was supposed to be the first step in breaching the life boundary between organic and technological!"
Clank and Ratchet's jaws dropped in awe at the sheer scope of such an undertaking...Clank's jaw more literally than Ratchet's. He promptly bent over to pick it up and reattach it.
"Does it say anything about who built it?" Ratchet asked.
Twilight quickly scanned the papers. "The head of the project, and the owner of this ship, was...Kaden Gyro. It lists his family here, too. Wife, Vashiir Gyro, son..." Twilight stared at the name, and the translation. "Daddy...this was your Father's ship..."
"My...Dad's?" Ratchet asked, stunned.
Clank did a quick scan of the ship. "Ratchet, Twilight, there appear to be six components missing for interstellar flight. I have uploaded the data on the missing components to your nav-unit, Ratchet. You should check to see if it can pick up the components - or viable substitutes - in our area. Either way, we should be quick to collect them. Tachyon will have the pod's flight codes before too long."
Nodding, Ratchet checked the scans. "...yes, they're all in the area," he confirmed. "If we can get them all, I can fix her."
"Then what are we waiting for?" Twilight demanded. "Let's go!"
Five of the six flight components were relatively easy for the group to find, scattered around the ruins for the taking. Amidst the journey, however, they received a somewhat confusing message.
"Congratulations!" the Nav-Unit chimed out. "You have received an Interstellar Holo-Vite from-"
"Sergeant Sparkle!" Qwark's voice rang out, leading Twilight to face hoof.
Once all five readily available components were acquired, however, a conundrum arose. According to scans, the sixth was within the Raritanium mine, which - due to a collapse - did not have an entrance large enough for Ratchet. However, it was large enough for Twilight to squeeze through.
"You get to work on the ship, Daddy," Twilight instructed. "Mommy and I can find the last component between us."
"Okay," Ratchet agreed. "Be careful."
As he turned back to the ship, however, he worried. Ever since they'd arrived in Polaris, Twilight had changed. While she had readily embraced Clank as 'Mommy' back when she first determined the little robot filled that role, she had started calling him by name again six months before Tachyon's invasion of Metropolis. Now, however, she was calling Clank 'Mommy' at every opportunity. Ratchet worried it might be because, at some level, she was feeling insecure.
He tried to push those thoughts aside as he got to work on the ship.
Once inside, Clank and Twilight were immediately confronted by several of the 'tiny magic time bots', as Ratchet had dubbed them. "Do not be afraid," they all said together to Clank. "We are here to help you destroy it."
"That's hardly comforting," Twilight commented dryly. "What is 'it', and how do we know we even want to destroy it?"
"I second those questions," Clank agreed.
"We have a lot to show you," the bots chorused as though neither of them had spoken.
Twilight glowered. "Answer our questions already! What are you?"
"We are Zoni," they chorused. "Keepers of Time."
Twilight blinked. "Alright. And what about our other questions?"
"You are not ready for those answers," the Zoni chorused. "You will discover the answers in time, and through discovery understand them much better. Worry not. Discovery will come in plenty of time to act on knowledge."
Twilight didn't like being stonewalled like that, but Clank was nodding along in agreement, so she was forced to accept it.
Early on in the journey through the mines, the Zoni unlocked an ability in Clank he hadn't even been aware of: the ability to slow down time. Much to the Zoni's surprise, if Twilight focused her magic when Clank activated this ability, she was able to move through the slowed time as readily as he was, though she wasn't able to cast any other spells or even use her telekinesis, relying on armor mounted weaponry for defense. Between that, her flying, and the other things the Zoni could do to the environment on a command from Clank, they were able to get through the Raritanium Mine without much trouble.
However, towards the end, the Zoni poured much of their energy into Clank, proclaiming, "They will return!" before vanishing, leaving the final Flight component behind.
"Mommy?' Twilight asked worriedly as Clank collected the component. "Who is they?"
"I do not know," Clank replied. "However, I fear we will know all too soon. For now, let's get back to Ratchet."
They found Ratchet working on the ship when they returned. "Found the last part?" he asked.
"Yup!" Twilight replied as Clank handed it over.
"Alright!" Ratchet cheered. "Just one last connection here, and..." As he installed the part, the ship came to life. "Yes! It's working!"
The ship lifted itself into the air. "Miserable little Drophyds!" the ship snapped angrily in a distinctly feminine voice. "I can't believe they used Seeker Ammo! Oh what a bunch of cheats!"
"Aphelion?" Ratchet called out. "Do you function?"
The ship paused, spinning to face Ratchet. "Daddy?" the ship asked. "Is that...no, you aren't Daddy. You're too young...who are you?"
"I'm Ratchet," he replied. "Kaden was my Father..."
"Was?" Aphelion asked. "Oh, then...he had to use that plan..." The ship seemed to sag in the air before brightening up. "Thanks for repairing me, Ratchet! It looks like you grew up to be every bit the tech and hero Daddy hoped you'd be."
"Can...can you tell me about him?" Ratchet asked hopefully. "I...I never got the chance to know him..."
"I'm sorry," Aphelion apologized. "My scanners indicate that Tachyon is still at large, and I've been hardcoded not to discuss certain things as long as he's a threat. I can't tell you about him just now." Seeing Ratchet hanging his head, the ship floated closer to him. "Though I can tell you one thing that will help you know him."
"You can?" Ratchet asked hopefully.
"Yes. Look in the mirror. You're every inch his son."
As Ratchet marveled at that thought and Twilight smiled proudly up at him, Clank quizzed Aphelion regarding Emperor Tachyon, the Drophyds, and the Lombaxes. Unfortunately, the more useful information Aphelion contained was under the hardcoded seal to not discuss. In fact, had Ratchet been unable to confirm that he was Kaden's son, she would have claimed to not even possess the information.
"Can you play this Holo-vite we just received?" Clank asked at last.
"Of course!" Aphelion replied. "I am equipped with an HD-47 Optical Holo-screen. A bit beyond the tech of that message, but I can adapt. Hop in."
With the cockpit opened once more, the trio eagerly hopped in. The Holo-vite proved to be Captain Qwark doing a voice over invitation/advertisement for Tachyon's preferred Arena, the Imperial Fight Festival on Planet Mukow.
"Planet Moo Cow?" Twilight asked in disbelief.
"Actually, it's Mukow," Aphelion corrected. "Though I do understand the phonetic frustration. I have the coordinates in my database."
The end of the message played. "Offer only valid for fuzzy, long eared orphans, their tiny robot companions, and fluffy pony super geniuses. And yes, you're fluffy, I've seen what you look like after drying off but before combing your fur."
Pouting, Twilight blew a raspberry at the screen, which caused Ratchet, Clank, and Aphelion to all laugh. "That was Captain Qwark," Clank pointed out.
"Which means it's probably a warning about a trap," Ratchet indicated.
"So we should go spring it, then?" Twilight asked. "From the sound of that, BBBFF's doing some undercover work, ingratiating himself with Tachyon so he can feed us information, and this is the only way he could manage to get in contact with us."
"I'll set a course then, shall I?" Aphelion offered, plotting the course.
Less than halfway to Planet Mukow, Aphelion dropped out of warp. "I'm afraid we'll have to travel through normal space at this point," she explained. "The unique nature of space in the Voron Asteroid Belt makes warp drive travel incredibly dangerous. Normally I'd go around it to reach Planet Mukow, but I don't have enough fuel for the parabolic warp course I'd need to set. Thankfully, I'll be able to refuel as we fly through the Belt. There's a great deal of ambient energy of various sorts I'm capable of absorbing-"
At that moment, the communicator sparked to life, and a thick necked robotic face appeared. "Ahoy there, young scallywags!" the face proclaimed. "This be Cap'n Slag, Scourge of the Galaxy." As he said this, he revealed that one of his hands was, in fact, a hook. "Surrender your vessel, or be cast to the depths of the universe!"
"Can we at least refuel first?" Twilight called out before Slag could cut the com link. "The depths of the universe sound fun to explore, and we'll probably come back with a ton of new stuff with which to rip our enemies a new one...maybe even a new RYNO design! My hooves are itching to make another one."
Captain Slag stared at Twilight over the comms. "I get the feeling ya ain't taking me seriously," he growled out.
Twilight tapped her chin. "Well, let's see here...we're in a state of the art Lombax ship, our pilot's the last known Lombax in the universe, the copilot has Zoni based time manipulation capabilities, and I can apparently rewrite the very laws of physics on a whim with the right spell formula or weapon design. What was it you had at your command again?"
Captain Slag blinked, but recovered quickly. "I have a mighty armada at my command! You won't stand a chance against-"
"Oh, can I blow this armada up, Daddy!" Twilight begged. "You got the last one!"
"These controls aren't designed for hooves," Ratchet pointed out.
"I do have a neural uplink," Aphelion countered. "Though really I'd rather demonstrate my talents and take these pirates out myself! As long as they aren't filthy cheaters like those Drophyds with homing ammo."
"Besides," Clank spoke up, "you already got Tachyon to soil his imperial trousers with your words. Don't I get a turn to be awesome?"
"Wait, back up a tick there!" Slag pointed out. "Ya made that self entitled slug piss himself? How'd ya manage that?"
Twilight grinned. "Oh, I told him I was going to enjoy rearranging his digestive tract, then vanished off his shoulder."
Much to their surprise, Captain Slag burst into uproarious laughter. "Yer a mare after me own heart, lass!" he crowed. "Ya got guts, and style! What say ye to a lil' wager?"
"A wager?" Twilight asked.
"Yer ship said it has a neural uplink," Slag stated. "Hook yerself up, and ah'll race ya through this here asteroid belt while me men turn it into a real obstacle course...of death! Feel free to shoot at them or me, since we'll be shootin' too. If I win, we get your ship and the three o' ya join me crew! If you win, then we'll sail under yer flag when the time comes to feed Tachyon to the fishes. Have we got a bet, lass?"
Twilight grinned widely as she hooked herself up to the ship. "Deal!" she agreed readily.
"If I may ask," Clank spoke up, "where does your rancor for Tachyon come from?"
"He built the lot of us ta harvest resources for him when he started his little empire," Slag explained. "When he did'na need us anymore, he marooned us all on Praxus Seven. We got a score to settle with his High Mightiness."
"You'll have to catch us first!" Twilight crowed happily.
Joining her mind with Aphelion's core computer, Twilight was able to fly the ship quite expertly, and was rapidly able to take the lead. "Watch out!" Aphelion warned when a particular salvo of pirate ammunition came their way. "Those are homing missiles!"
"Activate the point defense lasers, then!" Twilight ordered. "I can see the command prompts for them."
"They were never installed!"
"We'll fix that at the next Grummel-net vendor if you've got the blueprints!" Twilight promised as she gave the engines an extra flare. "What are those missiles tracking?" she called as she performed a quick aileron roll.
"The heat of our engines and their ion trail," Aphelion explained.
Smirking, Twilight put the ship into a quick barrel roll. The flare of the engines had caused both that heat and ion trail to cling to the outer most points of the ship's wings. The barrel roll left a heat-chaff that confused the lock on of the missiles, causing them to hit each other and explode.
"Good show, Twilight!" Aphelion crowed. "I'm adding that maneuver to my database-whoa!"
Twilight had hit the brakes, letting Slag shoot ahead of her. Locking on, she fired precise shots into each engine, disabling them. As Slag started shouting curses, she gunned the engine, pulling ahead of him again and reaching the end of the belt before Slag got the ship moving again.
The communicator opened. Slag looked surly but impressed. "Not bad at all, lass!" he proclaimed proudly. "Keep track o' what I'm sendin' ya. It's proof o' my promise ta fly under your flag against Tachyon when the time comes...and a mark that yer officially an honorary Pirate!"
The transferred material turned out to be an orange and brown striped shirt, a black skull-and-crossbones hat, and an eye patch, all sized to Twilight. "Cool!" she crowed happily as Aphelion - once more recharged from the energies of the local star - set course for Mukow. "I've got my own pirate costume!"
Once they came in for a landing on Planet Mukow, a communication from Qwark came over their comlink. "Dad, Mom, Sis, I can't talk long. I'm at the arena. We can talk there."
"Well, he's certainly taking this seriously," Ratchet muttered.
Stopping at the nearest Grummel-net vendor, Twilight sent the schematics for Aphelion's planned weapons that were never installed to the Grummel-Net manufacturing plant. She received a guarantee that they'd be finished and installed by the time the group was ready to leave Mukow. The trio also bought and upgraded the new weapons available.
After moving a bit further along the path, the group discovered a holoplan fragment. Twilight gasped in shock when she saw it. "This...this is a piece of the plan for my RYNO IV!" she gasped out. "This is the galaxy that the parts were scattered in!"
Ratchet and Clank glanced at each other. "Well," Ratchet began, "do you want to track down all the pieces? It should take a while to find them all, long enough to decide if you want to reassemble it-"
"The spell that scattered them is still embedded in the fragments," Twilight pointed out. "All I need to do is charge this fragment with my magic, and it'll summon the other parts to me. Then I'll have the complete plan, and we'll just need to find someone to put it together."
"Then the question is-" Clank began.
Twilight's glowing horn interrupted him. "Tachyon outlawed knowledge," she growled out. In a flash of light, the completed holo-plan appeared in the air before her, quickly saved on her armor-comp. "Now we just need someone with the parts to put it together...someone unofficial. So not Grummel-net."
"Why unofficial?" Ratchet asked.
"Because I don't trust anyone else with a weapon this dangerous," she replied. "I barely trust me with it. Hmm...maybe Blue Shift can put it together..." She shrugged. "For now, let's go find Qwark."
Nodding agreement, Ratchet and Clank joined her in their continued progress through Mukow.
Eventually, the trio reached the entrance to Mukow's arena. They found Qwark hiding just nearby. He blinked as he stared at them. "Mommy?" he asked, confused. "Where's Daddy and Sis? And who's the Cazar and pirate?"
Ratchet facepalmed while Twilight facehoofed. Clank groaned. "Qwark, it's-"
"I can't stay and talk long," he hissed. "Look, when you see Daddy again, give him this." He handed over a special disguise kit. "It'll protect his anonymity in the arena. I need to get back to my post before Tachyon gets suspicious." Turning, he stepped into the teleporter and vanished.
Twilight buried her face in one wing. "His heart is bigger than his brain," she muttered under her breath. "His heart is bigger than his brain..."
The disguise kit coded itself into Ratchet's arena combat profile as the group teleported into the arena. In addition to pink glasses and a fake mustache, Ratchet's orange-yellow fur was turned the same purple of Twilight's coat, though the brown markings remained unchanged. "My pseudonym better not be 'Sergeant Sparkle'," Ratchet grumbled as Twilight giggled.
In the center of the arena, an announcer's platform rose up, revealing Qwark holding a microphone. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" he proclaimed loudly. "Join me in welcoming our guest of honor! Your Cragmite Overlord - and my new best friend - Emperor Tachyon!"
Twilight whistled appreciatively under her breath as Tachyon appeared on a large screen. "He's gotten that close already?"
Once applause began - encouraged by two Drophyids shaking their weapons at the audience - Qwark gestured to Ratchet and the group. "Let the battle begin!"
All three of them had been through arenas in the past, and this one - at its heart - was no different. Sure, the obstacles and enemies were different, but the essence of it was the same, and it was relatively easy for them to adapt their experience to the new situation. As they fought through the first three waves of enemies, Qwark continued his announcing.
Twilight managed to conceal her face fault in a headbutt.
As they continued fighting, Qwark continued to announce. "Now, normally these matches only allow one challenger at a time, but it turns out that today is Take Your Daughter to Work Day by the Old Earth Calendar as measured by the JL-666 guild of Terachnoids, so a special exception was made for this father/daughter team...and look at them go!"
Qwark's other announcements showed he was tapping into who he had been back before meetting up with Twilight, especially his comment about the groupies. The fact that this led to Twilight trying to hide from the audience under Ratchet led to hilarious laughter from the audience.
After the three waves were down, a giant, cybernetically enhanced fish monster was released to leap into the fight. "Okay, troopers!" Qwark announced. "It's time-"
"For dinner?" Twilight called out eagerly. "I haven't had a good meal in days, and that fishy looks yummy!"
The fish monster cried out in terror as it proceeded to run circles around the arena with Twilight in hot pursuit after it.
Eventually, the chase ended with Crushto - the fish monster - leaping into the magma that surrounded the arena platform to escape Twilight. With that done, Qwark appeared in the arena to offer the congratulations, as well as the prize.
"Congratulations!" he proclaimed. "You lot remind me of me when I was a young fighter. Only...shorter, and less strapping."
"So how goes the undercover work?" Ratchet asked calmly.
"Unpleasant," Qwark replied fervently. "Here. This vid pack has all the information you'll need. I've disabled the optical relay, so it can only be viewed on a non-Imperial ship computer. And here's the Heli-pack gadget you won as a prize." He quickly handed the two items over.
"Ingrate!" Tachyon proclaimed from the display screen. "Quit messing around and get over here! I have boils that require lancing."
As the screen turned off, Qwark shuddered. "I don't know how much more of this I can take..." he whimpered.
"Did I give you clearance to quake in fear, Captain?" Ratchet barked out without warning.
Instinctively, Qwark straightened up. "No sir!"
"Then I don't want to see any quaking!" Ratchet snapped. "You get back up there and keep pulling the wool over the eyes of the big bad! We need the information you're getting us. Don't let me down soldier!"
Qwark saluted, his whole body thrumming with pride. "Sir yes sir!"
Twilight smiled as she patted Qwark's hand with her hoof. "Good luck!"
With a wide grin, Qwark returned to his 'post'.
In order to cover for Qwark so the extended conversation wouldn't draw suspicion, Ratchet and Twilight ran through several more arena challenges before leaving to head on their way.
After making use of the Heli-pod gadget to open the way out, the trio made their way back to Aphelion to play the new vid-pack. It turned out to be a recruitment video from Tachyon himself.
"Greetings, inferior beings of Polaris," he stated calmly. "Does your life lack a sense of purpose? Do you constantly worry about finding steady income? Do you like killing stuff? Then join the imperial army and aid me in my humble quest for galactic domination. Here you'll travel to new places, meet interesting people, and execute them in the name of...Me!"
"Hold the phone!" Qwark's voiceover cut in, along with a cardboard cutout. "Did you say I could meet interesting people?"
"Why yes I did, celebrity hero Qwark," Tachyon replied.
"That sounds terrific!" Qwark gasped excitedly. "Tell me more!"
Twilight decided to quickly skim through the rest of the video, focusing on the important details. "The Lombax Secret?" she asked in shock.
"Any idea what that's about, Aphelion?" Ratchet asked.
"I'm sorry, but that data is hard coded," Aphelion apologized.
"That means it's important," Twilight surmised. "Set course for the Nundac Asteroid Ring!"
As the group came in for a landing at the outer edge of the Asteroid Ring, they found a curiously configured pod. "This must be the transport to the station," Ratchet pointed out. "But how do we get the Launch Code?"
"We oughta warn ya that the owner o' that station ain't accustomed to visitors," Blue Shift called out as he approached, Red Shift flapping around him.
"Hey!" Twilight called happily, waving. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, little lady, it just so happens that this place is a natural breeding ground for Leviathans," Blue Shift explained, gesturing to the massive creatures floating around the various larger asteroids. "And some space pirates have commissioned me to get them some Souls...but I ain't that much of a fighter." He smiled winsomely. "But I do happen to have the launch codes for this here pod..."
"Which you'll trade for the Leviathan Souls you need for your commission?" Ratchet interpreted.
"Why that does seem like a fair trade, don't it?" Blue Shift drawled.
"Before we do..." Twilight began. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out the holoplan. "You wouldn't happen to have the parts to build this, would you?"
Blue Shift whistled, his expression a mixture of awe and terror. "Miss...this here's the RYNO IV. It's the most dangerous weapon ever produced..."
"I know," Twilight replied. "That's my signature on the blueprint."
Blue Shift shivered as he saw that. "Well, I do have the parts based on what this blueprint says. If anyone can be trusted with this weapon, it's the one who made it in the first place." Ducking back into his ship, he began piecing some things together. "Here ya go, little lady," he stated nervously, presenting the weapon. "The RYNO IV..."
Twilight smiled as she looked it over. "Say...you wouldn't happen to have an etheric collector, energy converter, and a solar panel on you, would you?"
"Well, sure," Blue Shift replied. "The first two are the major components used ta process Leviathan Souls. Got a couple spares, and a bunch of solar panels. They don't get used much anymore, but they make good salvage."
"Could I have one of each, please?" Twilight asked eagerly.
Blue Shift shrugged. "Well, how about I trade ya them for a Leviathan Soul?"
Curious as to what Twilight planned, Ratchet handed over one of the Souls they'd collected.
"Pleasure doin' business," Blue Shift replied, handing over components.
Grinning widely, Twilight cobbled the components together, attaching a bulbous unit to the back of the RYNO IV. "There we go! Now to test it." Turning, she sighted on a nearby Leviathan and held the trigger down. The RYNO IV whirred to life before letting loose with its barrage.
The Leviathan did not last long under the onslaught. As it burst apart, Twilight threw a switch on the component she'd added to the weapon. The Raritanium and Soul the Leviathan left behind was drawn to her to be collected. The weapon continued to beep for a time, then dinged. "Yes!" Twilight crowed, throwing the switch back.
"So...what's that doohicky do?" Blue Shift asked.
"An ammo regenerator," Twilight replied. "Since the RYNO IV uses energy based projectiles, the etheric collector, solar panel, and energy converter can change any ambient energy in the environment - including solar - into ammunition! As long as I hold still while it recharges, it now has infinite ammo!" Noticing the judgmental stares from Ratchet and Clank, she rolled her eyes. "I'm not handing this design over to Gadgetron! As far as I'm concerned, the only one to ever wield one of these babies is me!"
"AWK! God help us all!"
Once Twilight and Ratchet had fully explored the asteroid ring, they traded some of the gathered souls for the launch code for the pod. "Now be careful up there," he warned worriedly. "Last I heard, the place is run by a pair of old war bots. Don't wanna cross 'em if ya can help it."
"We'll be careful!" Twilight promised as they launched.
The transport pod carried them to the station's maintenance grid on a gravity cube, an obstacle course of laser fields and moving platforms, as well as curved platforms where gravity rotated 90 degrees. "We should be able to find a way to enter the station from here," Clank suggested.
After traversing the grid for a time, the trio reached the maintenance elevator, and were able to use it to enter the station. Just inside the station, the group was able to witness a massive natural preserve within a sealed dome. "Wow!" Ratchet gasped out. "Look at that terrarium!"
"It appears that whoever constructed this station wanted an oasis as well as a fortress," Clank commented.
Taking a closer look at how the terrarium connected to the rest of the station, Twilight let out a gasp. "No...they wanted a sanctuary!"
"Eh?" Ratchet asked, confused.
"This place isn't about protecting something!" Twilight intuited. "It's about protecting someone. Someone precious. The terrarium is there for them to live in, while the station itself is to keep them safe and hidden."
Staring out at what Twilight had noticed, Ratchet nodded. "...I see what you mean," he murmured. "This place was built by someone with a lot of enemies...as a place to keep their child safe, I'll bet."
"A place you might have built for Twilight, had you the resources and need," Clank added.
Nodding, Twilight put the RYNO IV away.
As they began to make their way into the station, a crotchety voice blared out over the loudspeaker. "Attention intruders! This is Lieutenant Commander Zephyr of the Apogee Space Station! Lay down yer weapons, and prepare for a whuppin!"
The robots that appeared to attack them, however, were...somewhat disappointing. Ratchet and Twilight were able to take them out with just their Omniwrenches. Continuing onward, another message played from Zephyr.
"This is your final warning! Lay down your weapons so you can receive your aforementioned whuppin!"
After another wave of pathetic security bots, another robotic voice blared over the speakers. "Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Intruder! Am I doing that right?"
"Stay in character ye darn fool!" Zephyr countered.
"Alright!" the other replied. "Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!"
The trio continued their way into the station, listening to the two robots - identifying themselves as Cronk and Zephyr - proclaiming how they were sending more and more advanced robots after them...although the robots sent continued to be the same quality of opponents, merely steadily increasing in numbers.
At one point, the Zoni showed up to give Clank another upgrade. In this case, a Geo-laser which could be used to locate and drill through weak points in geological structures. Before Clank actually made use of it, however, Twilight managed to retune her communicator to access the station's channels. "When was the last time you two updated this places defenses?" she demanded.(1)
"Huh?" the pair of robotic voices said in shock. "Miss Apogee?"
The sealed door popped open, and two ancient war bots - one tall with a faded blue and white paint job, the other hunched over with a faded red and white paint job - came rushing out, tripping and falling down the ladder.
Twilight walked up to them, looking over them in concern. "Are you two alright?" she asked worriedly.
"Sure thing Miss Apogee!" the taller one, whose voice was recognizable from the comms as Cronk stated. He blinked as he caught sight of Twilight. "Umm...when did you turn into a pony?"
Twilight blinked in confusion. "Umm...I've always been a pony?" she offered in confusion.
"That's odd," the other bot stated, its voice recognizable as Zephyr. "I could have sworn yesterday you were a Markazian yesterday."
"Markazian?" Twilight asked in confusion.
At that moment, a Markazian female - a mostly humanoid race with sharply pointed ears and whip-like forked tails - floated in on her jetpack. She had black hair and green eyes, and was wearing a green, brown, and black outfit. "What do you two think you're doing out of the control center?" she demanded of the two robots, her tone somewhere between angry and concerned. As she turned side on to Twilight and Ratchet, Twilight noticed from her profile that she was relatively young, and definitely slim.
She's probably about Daddy's age, she thought to herself...only for her eyes to light up in excitement. It was only when everyone was staring at the woman that Twilight realized something else as well.
"If this were Tachyon or...or the pirates again..." the woman continued before her voice trailed off, noticing no one was really paying attention to her words. Turning, she caught sight of Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight. "...what?"
"Twilight?" Ratchet and Clank asked together in confusion, glancing between Twilight and the Markazian.
"Yeah Dad, Mom, I know..." Twilight replied. Her voice and this woman's were uncannily similar. The only real difference was that Twilight's voice sounded relatively younger.
The woman glanced between Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank. "Dad? Mom?"
"Adopted," the trio chorused together.
The young woman chuckled. "Unusual family...not that I can say otherwise." She glanced fondly over at the two warbots. "Anyway, I'm Talwyn. Talwyn Apogee. And these two rust-for-brains bots are Cronk and Zephyr."
The two robots attempted to strike dramatic poses as their names were given, but their age showed through as each lost the outside arm relative to the pose. Talwyn rolled her eyes and giggled...only to pause as she heard an identical giggle coming from Twilight.
The pair stared at each other for a time. "Weird," they murmured simultaneously. Both went wide eyed as they realized what happened. "Hey..." They once again spoke simultaneously. "Hey! Stop that!" Both started glaring at each other as they continued to speak in perfect synchronicity. "Stop that! Stop copying me! ME? I'm not copying you, you're copying me!"
Ratchet glanced back and forth between them, struggling to figure out how two being of completely different species could sound so alike. Eventually, he turned to Clank. "Any ideas?" he asked, hoping for an explanation.
Unfortunately, Clank could only shrug. "I have...nothing," he admitted finally.
"I have popcorn!" Zephyr offered helpfully.
Shrugging, Ratchet accepted the offered snack as the four sat back to watch the unusual argument between Talwyn and Twilight.
(1) The following scene was heavily inspired by this comment. Thanks, The_Whovian16.
Once Twilight and Talwyn stopped fighting over who was copying who - and Zephyr ran out of popcorn - Ratchet and Clank began filling Talwyn and her robot friends in on their mission and everything that had led them here. However, an unexpected revelation caught them all off guard.
"Kaden?" Talwyn gasped in shock. "You're Kaden's son?"
"Yeah," Ratchet replied. "I only learned his name recently. How do you know him?"
"He and my father were good friends," Talwyn explained. "They did a lot of research together, and he trusted Dad with a few things." She scuffed her foot against the ground. "Actually...Kaden commissioned this station from my Father as...a possible place to hide you from Tachyon. If the attack had come a few months later...we'd have probably grown up together here."
"Whoa," Twilight murmured in shock. "Talk about a bomb to drop..." She glanced between Ratchet's stupefied face and Talwyn's nervous/embarrassed one. She couldn't help but grin as she added Talwyn's name to the list of possible Mommies/Harem members. It was unfortunate that one of the major cons was 'We sound exactly alike', but Twilight was certain she could work on that one.
"Would your father's friendship with Kaden be why Tachyon thinks you have a Lombax weapon here?" Clank asked.
"Probably," Talwyn replied. "Kaden was the premiere weapons research scientist of his generation. Just about everything made by the Lombaxes in the 40 years before Tachyon went after them had Kaden's name on it somewhere."
"Guess that talent skipped a generation," Twilight teased.
"Hush," Ratchet scolded. "Just because you've invented nearly everything to come out of Gadgetron in the past decade or so is no reason to brag-"
"Wait, you're that Twilight Sparkle?" Cronk demanded in shock. "My last replacement power core is your design!" He quickly popped his chest compartment open to show it.
"Oh! That's the Regenerative Quantum Coil!" Twilight eagerly proclaimed, rushing forward. "I had a huge argument with the other techs about making the adapters for older model robots so they could upgrade themselves. There's still a debate going on about the effect on personality cores from transfers between shells, and older robots should have a choice of keeping their shell while upgrading." She suddenly gasped. "Zephyr, is that my Recoil Shield Pulse Rifle!"
Zephyr grinned. "It sure is! With my old circuits, it works real well that the recoil from firing gets diverted into a reflective energy shield, rather than tearing my arm off...again."
Talwyn couldn't help but chuckle. "And we did have a Lombax artifact here, entrusted to us by Kaden, but...we were raided by Pirates, and they took it. Dad...never came back from going after them." She gripped her left arm with her right hand.
Twilight looked up. "By any chance was the pirate Captain Slagg?"
"Yes, that was the crew," Talwyn replied. "Why?"
Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank all grinned widely.
As Aphelion entered orbit around Planet Ardolis, Twilight opened the comms. "This is Twilight Sparkle to Captain Slag! Twilight Sparkle to Captain Slag!"
"Twilight, what are you doing?" Talwyn demanded in shock from her own ship. "Why are you-"
Slag appeared on the comm screen. "Well, lass! Fancy meetin' ya here! How'd ya find our home base?"
"A mutual acquaintance mentioned facing off against you in a game here," Twilight replied. "Say, did your pirates ever raid Apogee station?"
Slag scratched his chin for a time. "Yeah...think we might of. Why ya ask?"
"Well, I need the artifact you took from there in order to fight Tachyon," Twilight explained. "Can I borrow it?"
"If ya need it ta fight Tachyon, you can have it!" Slag proclaimed. "Yer an honorary member of me crew, after all! The booty gets shared out at need! It's down planetside, even though I ain't just now. Me crew down there won't bug ya...but y'all still need to make your own way past the security. Can ya dance like a pirate?"
Twilight grinned. "You'll see how well I dance!"
As communications cut, Twilight turned to Talwyn. "We've got clearance to land!" she called out.
"H...How'd you become an honorary pirate?" Talwyn demanded.
"Beat Slag in a race!" Twilight proclaimed proudly.
The exploration of Planet Ardolis went rather smoothly. The Pirates reacted with hostility at first, until they saw Twilight in her pirate outfit. Once they recognized her, they greeted the group cordially, toasting them and offering some grog, which Twilight politely declined and Cronk and Zephyr were ordered not to drink. Clank declined as well, as the mugs were bigger than he was.
It surprised Twilight that not all the pirates were robots. In fact, most of them were either cyborgs or entirely organic, with the robotic pirates being the upper echelons of command.
It didn't take long to make their way through the security, after dancing their way past the security doors on occasion. Much to Twilight's chagrin, while she could follow the directions of the door for the steps, each door opened laughing. "My dancing's not that bad, is it?" she whimpered.
"Not bad," Talwyn reassured her. "Just adorable."
Twilight pouted as they reached the pirate vault. "When am I going to outgrow being adorable?"
"Likely never," Cronk offered helpfully.
Clank lifted the artifact off the pedestal where it was suspended. "Hmm...it appears to be gene locked," he murmured. "Either species based or bloodline based. Either only a Lombax or only someone of Kaden's bloodline can activate this."
"I guess that's up to me, then," Ratchet replied, taking the pyramid shaped object into his hand. The crystal up top immediately broadcast a star map, complete with coordinates of a particular planet.
"That's Rykan V!" Talwyn proclaimed, recognizing the planet. "That must be where the secret's hidden!"
"Send Aphelion the coordinates!" Twilight instructed. "If it's there, it's probably gene locked as well!"
As the group made their way towards Rykan V, they had to stop in the Rakar Star Cluster so Aphelion could absorb more solar energy to refuel. Upon entering the cluster, however, they found themselves surrounded by Slag's pirate ships.
"Captain?" Twilight asked. "Am I missing something?"
"Well...mah boys are having trouble believing ya beat me in that race before," Slag explained. "They want ta see it again. Care ta indulge?"
"We don't have time for this," Talwyn complained from her ship.
"Aphelion needs to refuel her interstellar drives, anyway," Twilight pointed out, once more hooking herself up to the neural interface.
The race went by swiftly, and even Talwyn got into it once Cronk and Zephyr badgered her into competing. Twilight once again came in first, with Talwyn a close second.
"Arr!" Slag shouted. "Ah'm losin' mah touch at these speed games! You youngins are just too fast for me! But mark mah words, ah'll beat ya next time!"
With Aphelion's interstellar drive fully topped up, the two ships left to reach Rykan V.
As they came into Rykan V's atmosphere, it became clear that it was occupied by heavily hostile forces. Missiles were coming from below, targeting them for destruction. Ratchet, Twilight, and Clank were forced to free fall to the surface.
Staring down, Twilight saw that Rykan V was an almost entirely lava world, and the heat waves coming up from below were intense. She quickly clung to Ratchet's side. "Clank, I'm going to have to rely on you to land me," she called out. "If I try to spread my wings in these thermals at this speed, I could lose flight feathers!"
"Understood," Clank replied. "I have been upgraded to handle such weight."
Glancing down, Ratchet saw that Cronk and Zephyr had jumped with them. He frowned, unsure if the pair were actually up to this sort of thing.
Talwyn's voice spoke over the comms on a private channel. "Ratchet, would you please take care of Cronk and Zephyr? It's been a long time since they've seen real combat."
"Don't worry," Ratchet replied. "I'll keep an eye on them."
"Thanks, Ratchet."
Once the group landed, they immediately pulled out their weapons as they became surrounded. "Get behind me!" Twilight called out as she pulled out her RYNO IV.
"But there's no real sunlight," Ratchet pointed out.
"It can draw from heat, too!" Twilight called back as she held down the trigger.
"Then what are we here for?" Clank asked jokingly as the barrage devastated the attacking forces.
"For the Lombax specific systems," Twilight indicated.
Talwyn continued to feed them information, including the specific location the starmap gave them on the planet's surface, though they would have some difficulty getting there through Tachyon's forces, simply from the sheer numbers Tachyon was bombarding them with. Not only that, there was a heavy barricade in the way that the RYNO's blasts weren't destroying. Twilight was forced to switch to other weapons to avoid hitting Cronk and Zephyr while they set up the charges to blast the barricade to bits.
This strategy served through several such waves as they approached the space port. When they had to deal with the space port's defense turrets, however, they pulled back and let Twilight's RYNO blast them to bits. With the space port open, Aphelion was able to slip in and land, though Talwyn's ship wasn't maneuverable enough to follow. She continued to search for their destination from the air.
Blue Shift was waiting for them at the space port. "Well hey there, friends," he greeted happily. "You picked a dangerous time to come to Rykan V. Percival's shut down the spaceport until he gets his paws on the Lombax Secret."
"Funny," Twilight replied. "That's why we're here. To get it before he does."
"Well, if you're looking to explore the lava refineries, you could use this here Gyro-Cycle," Blue Shift indicated. "Course...being a merchant, I'd like some form of monetary compensation. Ya know how it works."
"Where did you get this Gyro-Cycle?" Clank asked curiously. "If it can cross lava, it must be very unique technology."
Blue Shift glanced away, looking evasive. "I bought it from a Lombax who was looking to get rid of it quick," he replied.
"Can you tell us about this Lombax?" Clank asked.
"Eh, you know how they are," Blue Shift replied. "Not big on answers." He glanced towards Ratchet. "Looked a bit like you, though."
"Kaden?" Ratchet gasped out in shock.
Blue Shift rounded on Ratchet, his hand trailing to his hip. "How'd you know that name, boy?" he asked hostilely.
"He's...my father..."
Blue Shift stared at Ratchet for a time, then lowered his gaze. "...take it," he stated, handing over the Gyro-Cycle.
"What?" Ratchet asked, shocked.
"Kaden...was a good friend o' mine," Blue Shift replied sadly. "He didn't pawn the Gyro-Cycle off on me. He gave it to me because he knew I'd never let it fall into Tachyon's hands. He saved my life more than once, and I never got a chance to repay him. Havin' that debt on my conscience...it don't sit well. If I can help his son out..." He shrugged helplessly.
Ratchet nodded as he climbed into the Gyro-Cycle, Twilight and Clank with him. It was a simple vertical metal circle generating a spherical energy field. "Thanks," he replied.
Emotion was thick all around, so Ratchet quickly quit the scene, using the nearby launcher to fling the trio in the Gyro-Cycle out into the lava refineries.
As Ratchet drove the Gyro-Cycle, he was amazed at how intuitive the controls were, as though it were made for him. Remembering who made it, he sighed, realizing it may very well have been. Eventually, however, the sheer exhilaration of riding the vehicle - and the sound of Twilight's screams of delight as they passed each hypergate for a burst of acceleration - broke through Ratchet's dour mood.
Reaching the end of the refineries, the last launcher propelled them to an old bunker. They found Talwyn, Cronk, and Zephyr waiting for them outside it.
"This is where the coordinates lead," Talwyn stated as they approached, seeing a great many runes on the surface.
"What do these mean?" Ratchet asked, confused.
"In this room a secret born," Twilight recited, using the same Lombax translator program she used to translate the runes on Aphelion's sides, "to quell the angry Cragmite storm. You've traveled far but to be clear, without a tail, your quest ends here." She blinked. "Whatever the Lombax Secret is...this is where it was made. And only a Lombax can open it."
Ratchet rested his hand against the door, only for the door to flash, the runes glowing brightly. "Welcome back, Lombax," a computerized voice stated. "I hope your long journey has been rewarding."
The door then opened ponderously, allowing them entrance.
Inside, however, was only an old holo-vid player, which activated at their presence. It then played an educational documentary on a Lombax invention called The Dimensionator. It also included coordinates for Planet Sargasso, indicating it was a testing facility for the weapon...as well as what was hopefully a taste of Lombax humor.
When Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight disembarked from Aphelion on the swampy jungle planet of Sargasso, they almost immediately caught sight of Blue Shift. "Are you following us or something?" Twilight joked.
Blue Shift shrugged. "I pay my debts, little lady," he replied softly. "I also just so happened to have business here. By the way, you'll need this decryptor here to power up these launch pads so ya can get around the planet easier." He held up a curious interface gadget, resembling a tesla coil surrounded by blue glass and strapped to a gun handle with a view screen. "Take it with my compliments." He handed it over to Twilight.
Smiling, Twilight handed over a few Leviathan souls. "Here. The price of those ought to cover your expenses at least."
"Now ya don't need to do that-"
"Being here with what we need when we need it is enough," Ratchet interrupted. "No need to bankrupt yourself in the process."
Blue Shift shook his head back and forth. "And now you know why I was never able ta pay yer father back for everything he did for me. You sound just like him."
Ratchet paused, glancing around. "Can...can you tell me anything about him?" he asked hopefully. "I...I never got a chance to know him."
Blue Shift glanced away, his eye misting as he thought to himself. After a time, he smiled. "Well, I can't really tell ya much about him beyond what ya know so far - we weren't that close - but I think I can give ya something that can give ya the answers someday." He turned to Clank. "X-327p, Y-77252p, Z-minus 37749p, 21274-11-25.13:47.54-321. Remember that. I think it'll come in handy someday...if you're at all your father's son."
"My father?" Clank asked, confused. His confusion was echoed in Ratchet and Twilight's expressions.
Blue Shift chuckled. "His fellows have already been guiding you, little bot," he replied. "Only one race could build that Geo Laser you've got there. But don't press me further. There's a reason that Plumber told me I'd know when to share this and say no more."
"The Plumber?" Twilight gasped out.
"So ya know him, too?" Blue Shift asked. "Met him a couple decades back, not long after..." Blue Shift looked away, his fists clenching. "At any rate, have fun here you three, but be careful."
"AWK! No more spoilers!" Red Shift squawked.
Accepting that directive from the bird, the trio moved on.
The Decryptor proved to be just like any of the other lock picking gadgets they had acquired over the course of their adventures, easy enough to learn to use yet difficult to master. Activating the launch pads for the Wing Pack proved to be less than challenging, though.
Once they were in the air, the Zoni once again appeared before them, guiding them along a path through the air. Since Clank was the only one who could see them clearly, he led the way, carrying Ratchet. Twilight trailed after him, following the glowing rings in the air that were clearer to her vision than the Zoni themselves were.
For some reason, the Zoni chose to guide them in a roundabout path over a good portion of the planet's surface before leading them to the cave path to the facility itself. The facility itself appeared to be another Gelatonium plant, requiring the Gelanator to progress. Once through, the trio continued along a more roundabout path.
The facility proved to just be the first in a long sequence that the trio had to get through. In one, however, Twilight noticed an unusual glow from a high platform. Spreading her wings, she flew up to investigate, only to find a Lombax weapon. Picking it up, she received a transmission from Aphelion.
"I see you've found an Alpha Disruptor," Aphelion explained. "This nano-weapon was one of the first designed by Father and his fellow scientists at the Center for Advanced Lombax Research, where the Dimensionator was made. It utilizes a controlled gravimetric charge to unleash a reality warping beam with intense destructive capacity. It was built for the war against the Cragmites, but was discarded once the Dimensionator was perfected. Not many still remain to this day-"
With a glow of her duplication spell, Twilight crafted three copies of the Alpha Disruptor. "One for me, one for Ratchet, one for Qwark, and one for me to take apart and study," she stated happily.
Aphelion was silent for a time. "It's a good thing you're a pure scientist, uninterested in profit," she stated at last. "The Galactic Economy couldn't handle you, otherwise."
Giggling, Twilight returned to Ratchet, arming him as they continued onward. Coming across a Grummel-net vendor not long after, they immediately fully upgraded the Alpha Disruptors for maximum destructive capacity.
After a long trek, the trio finally reached the actual facility they were heading for. Ratchet rushed ahead. "Come on, it's this way!" he called out.
Rushing up to a sealed portion of the facility, all three were shocked as the doors swung open to reveal The Plumber. "Oh it's you three! Almost didn't recognize you after all these years." Chuckling as he adjusted his glasses - which were new - he gestured to what looked like a giant toilet behind him. "You're all just in time. I'm about to try out my revolutionary, high speed, interplanetary transportation gizmo!" Seeing the trio's expressions, he chuckled. "I take it you were expecting something else? Say...something capable of vaporizing an entire planet of whatchamacallits?"
"Cragmites," Ratchet corrected.
"Well I hate to burst your bubble, but it doesn't exist," the Plumber replied with a shrug.
"That's because the Dimensionator doesn't vaporize things," Ratchet replied, causing Clank and Twilight to spin and face him in shock. "It's an interdimensional transportation device. The Lombaxes...my father didn't use it to vaporize the Cragmites. He used it to take the Cragmites, their armada, and their planet...and push it into another dimension that had no other forms of life."
The Plumber burst into a true belly laugh. "Well now, my boy...you're a lot smarter than I gave ya credit for. Yer right, that's exactly what the Dimensionator is, and what it's for. Scientist Lombaxes like yer old man abhorred the very idea of killing anything. So they built a weapon that won the battle without killing."
"And that's why the Lombaxes are all gone now!" Twilight gasped. "Tachyon didn't exterminate them! They used the Dimensionator to take themselves beyond his reach!"
The Plumber chuckled to himself. "You three are something else." Reaching into his device, he pulled out a golden three and three quarters cubit hexagonal washer. "This might come in handy for you someday soon." He tossed it to Clank.
"Does the Dimensionator work based on thought commands?" Ratchet asked.
"Nope!" the Plumber replied. "Voice. That's what makes it so dangerous. With enough power, it can find anything you tell it to." Shrugging his shoulders, he leapt into his transportation device, flushing himself away.
At that point, Clank's communicator buzzed. "Dad, Mom, Sis, is everything I just heard true?" Qwark demanded. "Can the Dimensionator really find anything you tell it to?"
"That's what it sounds like," Twilight replied. "But from the sound of it, even using it could threaten the very fabric of the universe...and overusing it could destroy the universe."
"Punch too many holes in a blanket and it can't keep you warm," Qwark replied. "But for now, I need you three at the arena. I think I've found another C-L-E-U-W..." He began counting on his fingers. "Four?"
"C-L-U-E," Twilight corrected absently as she and Clank turned to head back to the ship.
Ratchet, however, found himself lost in thought, staring at Twilight. "...anything I tell it to find..." he murmured thoughtfully, remembering an old promise.
Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight made their way directly back to Mukow, and from there to the arena, eager to meet up with Qwark to see what he'd found. Of course, once at the arena, they found they had to fight their way through a few challenges first, not that they were actually challenging. Several waves of enemies went down easily, only to be followed by yet another larger target.
The enemy itself, however, was rather unique. Its body appeared to be made entirely of energy, given shape only by its armor, which was somewhat reptilian in design.
"It's time for our next major contender of the evening!" Qwark announced as the beast flew in, waving to the crowd. "It's a giant...menacing...energy creature of some sort!"
Twilight stared flat eyed at the announcer box. "Seriously?" she asked, her voice flat. "That's seriously the best he can do?"
"It's Qwark," Ratchet pointed out. "What'd you expect?"
"Some effort, at least," Twilight pouted.
The creature was easily dispatched, however. Its attack pattern was predictable and easily dodged. The only challenge proved to be just how much punishment it could take.
Once it was down, Qwark rose up on his platform from under the arena. "Outstanding work, strangers I've never met!" he proclaimed expansively. "And now for the fruits of your labor! One holo-pirate disguise for Moustachio - perfect for parties and undercover misadventures..." He tossed the device to Ratchet. "And for the little guy-" He pointed to Clank. "A copy of my new exercise book, 'Body By Qwark'! Now you too can have the Calves of a Champion!" He tossed the book to Clank, knocking him on his back. "And for Periwinkle, a secret message from our sponsors!" He tossed an info bot to Twilight before his platform dropped back down.
The recorded message on the infobot spoke of a super computer by the name of IRIS, currently held in the possession of Captain Slag.
"Maybe this IRIS knows where to find the Dimensionator," Ratchet suggested.
"That would explain the Holo-pirate disguise," Twilight allowed. "Qwark doesn't know we're honorary members of Slag's crew. But...why the exercise book?"
Clank, who had wondered that himself and opened it, froze. "I will explain back at the ship."
As he refused to say more, the trio decided to adjourn to the ship.
"Aphelion," Clank stated, handing over the 'exercise book' to the ship's scanners, "please check the text of this book for data encryption."
"Scanning," Aphelion confirmed. "...the text itself has no encrypted data, but when scanned through pink, lavender, and violet light, three levels of data encryption are stored in the pages themselves, as though someone printed the encrypted data out in the pages, and then wrote on them to hide what they were. However, I am unable to determine the decryption password."
"Try LSBFF," Twilight offered, causing Ratchet and Clank to turn to look at her in confusion.
"...data decrypted," Aphelion replied. "It is the complete schematics of all of Tachyon's weapons, ships, and defenses, including a signal that can be emitted to disable the homing capacity of Drophyd weaponry."
The trio could only stare. "Okay," Twilight admitted finally. "I forgive Qwark's lackluster arena announcements. He certainly knows his spycraft when he puts his mind to it. He's just a terrible actor."
"Which may well be his greatest advantage," Ratchet allowed, "since any suspicious behavior is written off as him just being stupid."
"Remind me not to underestimate him so much in the future," Clank added as Aphelion - acting on the coordinates in the infobot - set course for the Kreeli Comet.
As Aphelion came in for landing on Kreelie Comet, several pirate ships were seen blocking the path to IRIS. "Any ideas on how to get through?" Clank asked.
Twilight opened a communications channel. "Captain Slag, can I access IRIS, please?" she called out pleadingly.
Captain Slag's visage appeared on the screen. "I dunno..." he replied worriedly. "Only the highest ranked officers get access to that comp..."
"Please?" Twilight begged, her ears going flat against her skull as her eyes widened. "When...when I saw what Tachyon had done to the Hall of Knowledge - and outlawing Knowledge, of all things - it made me so mad! But...but a supercomputer of mysterious origins with possibly all the knowledge in the universe...it's like a dream come true for me. Couldn't...couldn't you let me access it as a birthday present? My 15th birthday's coming up..."
"It is?" Slag asked, shocked. "Then I need ta ask IRIS what the perfect present'll be for ya! Come on, I'll show ya the way!" The Captain stepped out of one of the ships and waved them on to follow.
"The power of cute compels you...the power of cute compels you," Ratchet whispered, waving his hands jokingly towards Slag as though performing an exorcism. Twilight, Clank, and Aphelion all giggled in response.
With Slag's escort, the trip through the icy landscape of the Kreeli Comet was uneventful, and the group reached the vault where IRIS was kept without trouble. Twilight immediately raced forward to access the supercomputer. "IRIS?" she called out eagerly, her hooves on the touchpad. There was no response. "IRIS?"
"Huh...it was functional last time I was here..." Slag muttered.
"Twilight, let us investigate the inside of the system," Clank offered. "Perhaps we can make some repairs."
Nodding, Twilight ducked into the internal areas of the supercomputer along with Clank. They hadn't been in there long before Twilight climbed back out, glaring at Slag angrily. "Captain...would you care to explain why so many of the interior components are missing or damaged?" she demanded angrily, her mane and tail beginning to flow like flame.
"Well, we needed the spare parts-" Slag began.
"Spare parts!" Twilight demanded angrily. "You scavenged her for spare parts?"
"It," Slag corrected absently.
"Her!" Twilight snapped. "This is no mere machine or supercomputer. I already spotted what has to be a mere fragment of the most advanced personality core I've ever seen! IRIS is as alive as you or Clank or Rusty Pete!"
Slag stared, completely poleaxed. "B..but..."
"Captain, I'm going to want every part ever scavenged from IRIS to be put back," she ordered. "It's going to take a while to fix, but you are going to help!" She ducked back inside.
Slag bridled angrily. "Where does she get off orderin' me around? I'm the Captain-"
"Get me those parts or I'll take them out of your chassis!" Twilight barked.
"Yes Ma'am!" Slag replied quickly, almost instinctively, before rushing off to do as ordered.
Given how quickly Twilight worked when this intense, it was only an hour later when she'd finished the repairs. She'd sorted through the parts brought back to see what was still usable, what could be repaired, and what needed to be flat out replaced. "Alright, I've done all I can," she stated finally. "With the help of Clank and the Zoni that were in there, IRIS should now be at...80% functionality. At this point, once IRIS is activated, she can tell you what else she'll need to be fully repaired, and her auto-repair functions will take care of the rest. Just make sure to be careful when running around inside her in the future. She doesn't like grog, it doesn't agree with her electronics."
As she spoke, IRIS came to full activation. "Thank you, Twilight Sparkle," IRIS stated, her robotic voice echoing.
Twilight jumped. "You know my name?"
"I have been expecting the three of you," IRIS replied.
"What can you tell us about the Dimensionator?" Ratchet asked.
"Dimensionator," IRIS replied, calling up the schematics. "Created by the Lombax architects of Breegus Minor. Its creation marked the turning point of the Great War."
"Where is it now?"
"The last prototype was hidden by explorer Max Apogee in Kerchu City," IRIS replied.
"We'll have time for more questions later!" Twilight interrupted. "The Zoni told Clank that Talwyn was going to die in Zordoom! We need to rescue her!"
"Right!" Ratchet agreed. "Slag, can you blockade Kerchu City to make sure Tachyon doesn't get anywhere near it?"
"I won't let that scurvy dog within a hundred parsecs of the place!" Slag barked out.
As Aphelion scythed into the atmosphere of Planet Viceron, Clank glanced towards Ratchet. He'd tried to raise the point of having to destroy the Dimensionator, but Ratchet had simply cut him off, saying, "Not now." Clank was worried his friend was a bit too tempted by the potential the Dimensionator offered, and - despite his better judgement - had shared his concerns with Qwark when he'd passed along the request for the schematics of Zordoom prison.
"Mom? Dad? Sis?" Qwark called out from the communication screen. "Everything okay? Feels...a little chilly on your end."
"Everything's fine, Qwark," Ratchet replied. "Did you get the holographic schematics?"
"You already have them," Qwark corrected, pointing to where the 'exercise book' he'd given Clank sat. Clank called up the appropriate schematics from the data file. "But I've also taken the liberty of drawing up a plan for infiltrating the prison! Behold!" The screen shifted to Qwark's hand drawn imagery that the group had gotten used to back in Polaris when going after Nefarious. "Zordoom Prison, a dangerous dungeon of deadly denizens, death and destruction! A deadly den of devious desperados damaged by decades of d...uh..."
"Dietetic degeneration?" Twilight offered with a giggle. "Also, nice alliteration."
"Thanks!" Qwark replied as the images continued. "To infiltrate this fortified fortress of fear, our agents - codenamed 'Dead Meat' and 'Nerf Pone' - will make their way along the Grind Rail of Certain Death, traverse the Walkway of Tortured Souls, and ascend the Grav Ramp into the mouth of the Jolly Jackal! While I direct the operation from my Townhouse of Solitude, our agents will jump down the elevator shaft to the lair of Eternal Sorrow. It is here they will be confronted by an army of Tachyon Troopers, a battalion of embattled bandits, an entire school of Zombie Ninja Panda Bears!"
"You're making that last bit up!" Ratchet scolded as Twilight giggled.
"I wish," Qwark grunted. "Tachyon is weird, and that's me saying that! Good luck Dead Meat and Nerf Pone! May you not die glorious heroes' deaths!"
Clank rolled his eyes as Aphelion came in for landing. "Oh, for a time when this would all seem strange," he moaned theatrically.
"It's more fun this way!" Twilight countered, priming her weapons. "Besides, I've got a new combat gadget to test out!"
"Test?" Ratchet and Clank both asked, shocked.
"I felt like tweaking," Twilight replied. "You know that Mr. Zurkon gadget?"
"Yes?" Ratchet replied nervously.
Grinning widely, Twilight threw out a small ball that burst open. The floating robot was wearing a long flowing robe speckled with stars, a pointed hat adorned with bells, and a long white beard. Instead of a gun, his arm held a wooden staff. "Behold, Zurkon the Bearded!"
"Zurkon the Bearded is ready to fry!" the little robot proclaimed, sending a bolt of lightning from the tip of the staff into an enemy soldier. "And so are you."
Clank chuckled nervously. "You made a support bot capable of magic?"
"Experimental," Twilight replied. "It's the lining of the staff. I've found certain materials here in Polaris capable of channeling etheric energy, and I decided to see if a robot could be designed to utilize the energy in combat. Unfortunately, the refining process is a bit expensive-"
"Zurkon the Bearded has no need for bolts!" the floating robot proclaimed. "His currency is devastation! Zurkon the Bearded has unstoppable spells!"
"Not Locate City! Not Locate City!" Twilight called out in terror. Ratchet tilted his head in confusion as Zurkon the Bearded laughed and Clank shuddered.
The initial path into the Prison facility was rather straight forward, with only weak robotic foes that were readily blasted apart by Zurkon the Bearded. Twilight flew most of the way, while Ratchet made use of Helipods. Before long, they reached the grind rail.
Taking a look at it, Twilight backed away. "Even with the Magnegrind boots, my balance isn't so good on rails. I'll fly."
"Keep an eye out for dangers on the rail and in the air," Ratchet requested, leaping onto the rail.
As they rode the rails, they heard various announcements from the prison speakers. While Ratchet ignored most of them, one dragged all three to full attention. "Inmate #510D, Hardlight, Ace please report to the mess hall for KP."
"Ace Hardlight?" Ratchet gasped out, shocked.
"He's alive!" Twilight shouted eagerly. "We have to find him!"
Ratchet made a quick decision. "Twilight, have you got the prison schematics?"
"Yeah, right here on my nav unit," she replied.
"Then get to the Mess Hall and bust him out of here. We'll meet you back at Aphelion with Talwyn."
"Right," Twilight agreed. "I'll try to be discreet-"
"Why? We won't be," Ratchet interrupted. "Cut Zurkon off his Bearded leash!"
"Zurkon the Bearded will liberate Ace Hardlight in...at least one piece!" the floating robot agreed. Chuckling, Twilight peeled off to find the Mess Hall.
Twilight found her way to the wall of the Prison just outside the Mess Hall, making sure she was opposite the kitchen, where Ace would be for KP. "Alright," Twilight told Zurkon the Bearded. "I've loaded Ace Hardlight and Talwyn Apogee's genetic code into your scanners. Once I open the wall, blast anything that isn't them."
"Zurkon the Bearded is ready to destroy!" the robot replied.
Twilight hesitated. "You're...not going to ask why I have their genetic codes?"
"The only question Zurkon the Bearded has is this: how many squishies does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Umm-"
"FIREBALL! Both problems fixed!"
Twilight's hoof met her forehead rather firmly. Groaning, she charged up her magic and ripped the wall from its moorings. Zurkon the Bearded immediately began blasting away. "Ace!" she called out. "Ace Hardlight, are you here?" She marched into the Mess Hall as guards and inmates alike fled Fireballs, Chain Lightnings, and Cones of Frost.
"Twilight?" a familiar but young voice called out. The figure that stepped out of the kitchen looked like Ace...but much slimmer and younger than when Twilight saw him last. "What are you doing here?"
"Saving you!" Twilight replied. "What happened to you?"
"Long story, can we talk elsewhere?" Ace requested, grabbing a discarded blaster and taking shots at guards that were charging in.
"Hold onto me!" Twilight shouted. As soon as Ace had hold of her, she shouted, "Zurkon! Locate City!" She then teleported herself and Ace to Aphelion.
Zurkon the Bearded grinned widely.
When Twilight and Ace arrived at Aphelion, they witnessed a massive explosion - something on the scale of a small scale nuke - rip a good portion of Zordoom Prison apart. "...you play D&D?" Ace asked, surprised.
"...I dabble..." Twilight replied evasively.
"A bit more than dabble if you know about that," Ace joked.
"Speaking of knowing," Twilight pointed out, turning to him. "What happened to you? Last time I saw you, you were...were..." Tears beaded her eyes as she struggled to say it.
"Dead," Ace replied. "For the second time in Dreadzone."
"How did you survive?" Twilight demanded. "Why did you let me think you died? And...why do you look like...this?" She gestured to him.
"You know my hard light copies?" Ace asked. "Well, if I leave one behind when I go into battle, I can use it as an extra life."
"Quantumly entangled brain wave and life force patterns?" Twilight asked eagerly.
"I don't know the science," Ace countered. "All I know is it's unpleasant...but better than not having one available. And...well...I actually forgot about this one." He gestured to his body. "When I first discovered I could survive death like that, I put one of my copies in cold storage in an asteroid that wasn't in a fixed orbit. Figured if I was going to take advantage of my ability, it would be best to have a final backup. Course, that was about 30 years ago, so it slipped my mind. I...genuinely thought my death taking out Vox was going to be the real deal."
"Well, I'm glad it wasn't," Twilight replied intensely. "And look at you! You can't be far into your teens, even. You look practically my age!" Noticing the sudden blush on Ace's cheeks, she frowned. "Don't even think about it. My Dad would kill you, and I don't think you have another backup available."
"Nope," Ace replied. "And I won't be able to make another one for another 30 years, when I catch up to the age of my life force. That's the delay between returning to an old copy and being able to make new ones."
Twilight scratched her chin. "...we'll drop you off with a friend at the first chance so you'll be safe," she promised. "Don't want to risk losing you again."
Ace smiled softly. "Good to see you recovered from Dreadzone, too."
"So how'd you end up in Zordoom Prison?" Twilight asked.
"Tried to go back to hero work," Ace replied with a groan. "Tried to fight Tachyon, since the asteroid had wandered into Polaris. That's when I found out how long I'd have to wait to make another copy."
After a giggle from Twilight, the pair sat in silence as they waited for Ratchet to show. While they were waiting, however, Aphelion had an announcement. "Twilight, Qwark has just sent me the coordinates for Kerchu City, which he managed to get off Tachyon's personal computer."
"Good job, Qwark!" Twilight praised as Ratchet came into sight. "Hey Dad! Where's Talwyn?"
"She made her own way out after finding Cronk and Zephyr," Ratchet replied. "She'll meet up with us once it's safe. And who's your new boyfriend? I thought you were looking for Ace?"
"He's not my boyfriend!" Twilight snapped angrily. "This is Ace!"
"Long story," Ace stated in response to Ratchet's expression.
As the group landed on Planet Jasindu, Ratchet turned to Ace. "You stay here in Aphelion," he instructed. "I don't know why Slag and his pirates weren't up in orbit - I meant to drop you off with them so you could be properly armed and armored to be safe - so we're going to play this safe and careful. Understand?"
"Got it," Ace agreed, ducking into Aphelion's back seat. "I'll just familiarize myself with whatever reading material you have-yowza!" Pulling up something from amongst Ratchet's bags, Ace let out a 'rowr' of appreciation. "Who's the sexy Cazar?"
Blushing, Ratchet snatched the poster - which happened to be an expanded holo-shot of Sasha Phyronix in her 'traditional Cazarian battle garb' - and stashed it away in Clank's storage compartment alongside his weapons.
Twilight giggled. "Careful not to let Talwyn see that!" she joked. "You don't want to lose the points you scored with her."
"I do not believe Miss Apogee would mind," Clank indicated. "While the three of you were discussing various details of our plan back at Apogee station, Cronk and Zephyr showed me her anime collection, which is - apparently - how she learned normal organic-being social interactions and mores."
"What's that got to do with it?" Ratchet asked.
"They were almost all old Earth titles," Clank explained. "To Love-Ru, Infinite Stratos, Rosario+Vampire, Highschool DxD, Love Hina..."
Twilight giggled loudly. "But those are all ecchi harem romantic comedies!" she pointed out.
"Precisely," Clank replied. Gasping, Twilight pulled out her tablet and added another 'Pro' check on Talwyn's profile for the 'Potential Mommies/Daddy's Harem' list.
"How do you know that?" Ratchet demanded in confusion.
"Because I was bored and they're funny," Twilight pointed out logically. "It's not like it's anything special to me if the characters in those anime ran around naked half the time. I don't normally wear clothes, anyway!"
Ratchet's jaw worked. "Umm...I don't know if that's something I should try to fix or not..."
"I think we should focus on getting the Dimensionator," Clank suggested.
"Right!" Ratchet agreed, turning to lead the way into Kerchu City, through the jungles they'd landed in.
In the distance, Kerchu City could be seen to be under heavy attack, but very few pirate vessels could be seen. The trio set off to get there as fast as they could. As they made their way through the jungle, they encountered the usual hostile wildlife, along with Kerchu automotons and Pirate troops doing battle with Drophyds...and, unfortunately, each other. Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight did their best to skirt these conflicts. After all, if there were Drophyds here, then Tachyon had arrived in force. While evading most of the battles proved difficult, the Pirates all recognized them on sight and did their best to provide covering fire for them to help them get past the Kerchu and Drophyds, who were indiscriminately attacking anything that wasn't themselves.
Once inside the city itself, the trio came across a heavily damaged section of the city maneuverable via grind rails. Ratchet took to the rails while Twilight flew on ahead. At the end, they found a severely damaged Kerchu mech, the pilot dead, a cracked open vault...and a very badly damaged Captain Slag and Rusty Pete.
"Captain! Pete!" Twilight called out in fear, rushing forward. "What happened? What are Tachyon's forces doing here? Why are-"
"Arr, lass...gimme a moment ta speak and I'll tell ya..." Slag groaned, sitting up. "Err...have ya seen me hook arm?"
Seeing the pieces scattered about, Twilight tried to repair Slag. However, she quickly noticed that his power core was heavily damaged. All she was able to do was piece him back together so he'd die...whole.
"Thank ye lass," Slag groaned. "Now, don't ya be given me that look. Ah know what's happened ta me. But ah swore mah life ta get vengeance on that scurvy dog Tachyon...and he didna get what he wanted here."
"He didn't?" Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank all gasped out in relief.
"Nay. Ah left the booty in the hands o' someone too stupid ta use it, and sent him off ta a spot we pirates know. He's got a few o' us goin' with him ta guard his back."
"You don't mean-"
"No names!" Slag cut off Clank. "There are ears all around us." He turned to Twilight...and took off his hat. "Lass...this crew needs someone ta lead 'em, with me gone. Ya got the heart...the soul...the brains...will ye?" He offered her his hat.
Swallowing convulsively, Twilight swapped the offered hat for the one she'd been wearing. "I won't let them down," she promised. "Tachyon's going to be sleeping with the Leviathans." At the confused looks, she shrugged. "Well, what other types of space fish are there?" she asked defensively.
Slag let off one last laugh. "Ah know...me crew's in...good hands with ye...even if ya don't have any..." With that, Slag's eyes went dim.
"We'll be with ya soon, Captain Sparks," Rusty Pete promised. "Just as soon as...we see ta Slag's final rest..."
Twilight nodded. "Alright. We're going to go spoke Tachyon's last wheel." Turning, she led Ratchet and Clank into a teleporter back to the ship.
"So...you know where we're going?" Ratchet asked as they leapt inside. Ace, noticing the seriousness of their expressions, said nothing.
"Yup," Twilight replied, taking off the hat. Inside were engraved two sets of star coordinates. One was marked as a hiding place, the other as a treasure trove. "Set course for the Ublik Passage."
"Affirmative," Aphelion confirmed, taking off.
Ublik Passage turned out to be where a massive Pirate fleet stood at anchor, a space fortification to resist Tachyon's assault. Upon their arrival, Twilight immediately opened up communications. "Attention all pirates!" she proclaimed. "This is your new Captain speaking. I regret to inform you all that Captain Slag has fallen nobly in battle, fighting Tachyon to the last spark. Now it falls to us to ensure that Tachyon does not get his mitts on the Dimensionator! Are you all ready to show that goat-buggering Cragmite reject what you're made of?"
"AYE!" The massive shout echoed back from the entire fleet.
Twilight knew that Tachyon's forces would be there soon in pursuit of Qwark. Even if they didn't have coordinates to go on, large congregations of Pirates such as this one would be suspicious to the Cragmite. As such, Twilight spent the next few quiet hours - and 50% of her Gadgetron/Grummel-net accounts - upgrading the Pirate Fleet's weaponry to the top of the line. If Tachyon expected to roll right over the Pirates, he had another thing coming. Of course, Twilight then had to spend another hour giving the Pirate troops and gunners a crash course in using state of the art tech.
Just as she was confident the Pirates weren't about to blow themselves up, Tachyon's forces arrived. The Drophyds unleashed their full arsenal of ship bound weapons and the Pirate Fleet, which was already returning fire. When the ships got close enough to each other, Pirates and Drophyds alike leapt from one ship to another to engage in hand-to-hand combat the honorable way...with massive guns, swords, and other such weapons.
Twilight oversaw the whole battle from the Pirate flagship, while Ratchet and Clank offered support from Aphelion. Ace Hardlight had been put in charge of a squadron of Pirate fighter craft, and he engaged in numerous hit and run tactics, which proved supremely effective against the Drophyds, who didn't know how to deal with it.
Once battle was fully engaged and underway, Twilight was able to sit back. At this point, everyone knew what they were supposed to be doing, and she was able to turn her attention to other things. "Where's Qwark, anyway?" she asked. "Slag said he sent him here."
"He never showed, Cap'n," one of the Pirates replied.
"What?" Twilight demanded angrily. "What do you mean he never showed?"
"Just what ah said, Cap'n," the poor Pirate repeated nervously. "He...never showed..."
"So you're saying that Captain Qwark, my BBBFF, who left Kerchu with the Dimensionator and couldn't find his way to the bathroom without a nav-unit sometimes is who knows where?" Twilight shouted, her voice cracking from her rage.
"Umm...yes?" the Pirate offered hesitantly. "Please don't keelhaul me?"
Realize how terrifying she must look at that point, Twilight managed to get herself under control. "I don't shoot the messenger," she reassured the troop. She then grinned impishly. "Especially not when I have so many better targets." Taking hold of the targeting controls, she turned the ship's new main cannon on the Drophyd fleet.
"Nice shot, Cap'n!" the very much relieved Pirate called out as several Drophyd ships went up in a massive fireball.
"Pity we can't fire it too often," Twilight sighed. "But it's a damn good show when we can!"
"Incoming transmission!" one of the others aboard the flagship's bridge called out.
The comm screen lit up, revealing Captain Qwark against a rocky background. "Can anyone hear me?" he called out worriedly.
"Qwark!" Twilight called out in relief. "What happened? You were supposed to rendezvous with the fleet!"
"Umm...I took a wrong turn at the last nebula," he admitted shamefacedly. "I wound up crashing here on Planet Reepor."
"Where is that?" Twilight demanded of the navigations officer.
The Pirate checked the starmaps, then swallowed convulsively. "Umm...there's good news and bad news."
"Less stalling, more answers!" Twilight demanded angrily.
"Good news is that it's very close," the Pirate replied quickly. "Don't even need to go hyperlight to get there from here. Bad news...it's the Cragmite homeworld."
"More bad news," another Pirate added. "This is less than half of Tachyon's forces."
"And..." the Comms Officer began nervously. "This transmission is on an...open channel."
"Then Tachyon likely heard this, too?" Twilight demanded, aghast. "Dad! We need to get to Planet Reepor, stat!"
As they entered the atmosphere of Planet Reepor, Aphelion gave a report. "The signal comes from three kilocubits away...but there is no landing site with ground connection in reasonable range."
"Then we won't land," Twilight replied.
Ratchet nodded in agreement. "Cronk, Zephyr!" he called out to the other ship accompanying them. "Prepare for a HALO jump!"
Cronk cackled in response. "Ten-four rookie! Lead the way!"
The group performed a free fall to the ground, only to be confronted with a massive group of Drophyds. "I'm not letting Tachyon get my brother!" Twilight shouted out, deploying her RYNO IV v3, blasting away and obliterating most of the defending Drophyds.
"And the Dimensionator, right?" Zephyr asked.
Twilight blinked and chuckled, blushing. "Yeah, that too."
Eventually, Twilight's RYNO ran out of ammo. When she switched it to recharge mode, she gulped. "That's not good," she muttered.
"What isn't?" Clank inquired.
"There isn't enough ambient energy in the area for the RYNO to recharge," she explained. "Either the mere presence of the Dimensionator distorts reality enough to cause that, which says really bad things about what will happen if it's activated..."
"Or it's already being activated," Ratchet groaned. "We'd better hurry!"
Pushing themselves and their weapons as hard as they could, the group made their way through the dark, rocky landscape and the ruins of the Cragmite fortifications. Talwyn even joined in, lending her blaster and maneuverability to help blast their way through. Unfortunately...they were too late.
When they made it through, they found Tachyon on his throne wearing the Dimensionator. Qwark was across the platform, half embedded in a pillar and cradling a broken arm. "I honestly didn't believe that you had the gumption to be a double agent. I'm genuinely impressed, Captain. However, yours isn't the only race for whom reality bends to faith...and my conviction is far stronger than yours! A hero has no chance against a fanatic in a battle of faith!"
Qwark fell forward onto his face, his expression showing he didn't actually understand what Tachyon was saying. "I'm...sorry, Dad...Mom...Sis...I failed you..."
Seeing Ratchet arriving, Tachyon laughed. "How fitting! The Prince of the Cragmites and the Son of the Lombaxes on the very ground their ancestors last fought!" He started to say more, but noticed Twilight's horn starting to glow. "I wouldn't recommend that, Miss Sparkle," he chided. "The Dimensionator is in pre-activation mode. Put too much energy into the environment around it, and you could wipe out the whole galaxy. And you wouldn't want that, would you?"
Twilight wilted on herself, her magic dissipating as she let go of her focus. "Seriously?" she complained. "A villain with a practical reason why we have to sit and listen to his monologue?"
Tachyon cackled. "I know! It's just too perfect!" Turning back to Ratchet, he waved his staff, gesturing to the broken environment. "How do you like my planet, Lombax? It's been dormant for years, thanks to your kind! I have waited years for this moment. Finally the time has come...for the Cragmites to rise again!" He pulled a pull cord on the side of the Dimensionator that would have looked more appropriate on a lawn mower...which quickly became more appropriate, as the Dimensionator gave off a sound like a motor failing to turn over. "Ahem...to rise again!" He pulled again, only for it to fail again.
"Having a bit of trouble there?" Ratchet joked.
"It's alright," Twilight teased. "I hear this sort of thing happens to a lot of guys." She giggled louder at the expressions on Qwark, Ratchet, and Clank's faces.
"To rise again!" Tachyon shouted angrily, pulling the cord one more time. This time, a massive technological sphere with all sorts of protrusions erupted out of the Dimensionator, balancing over Tachyon's head. The entire area began to shake as the fabric of reality rippled in response to the device activating. Tachyon paid it no mind, lost in his madness. "The horrors committed by your race during the Great War shall finally be reversed! Dimensionator, find the Cragmites!"
A massive rift opened above Tachyon, the surge of reality warping energy causing Twilight to scream as she clutched at her head. A massive shock wave ripped through the area, sending the four heroes flying in different directions.
When Twilight came to, she found herself somewhere in the dark, rocky, slime river filled landscape of Reepor. "Ugh...what happened?" she asked as she rubbed the back of her head. "...Mom? Dad? Is Qwark okay?" she called out, shaking her head. When she got no response, she looked around quickly. "Mom? Dad? BBBFF?" she called out worriedly. She found no sight of her family. "A...Anybody?" she called, panic slowly creeping into her voice.
She huddled in on herself as a terrifying realization sank in on her mind. She was alone. She was all alone on a strange, desolate world where everything was probably going to be trying to kill her, if not worse. She tried to shy away from the 'worse' part, but her own experience had given her too many ideas of what could be worse than death, and her imagination had always been too fertile for her own good.
As she shook, her whimpers and moans slowly changed. All of a sudden, her mane sprang up crazily, and a mad grin crossed her face. She began to giggle crazily, her pupils narrowing to pinpricks, her irises not much larger, and her eyes began to twitch. "Gotta find 'em, Twilight!" she cackled. "Gotta find 'em before they're gone forever! Clock is ticking, Twilight. Clock. Is. Ticking!"
Two of the larger Cragmites - looking like a somewhat successful crossbreed of a gorilla, a raptor, and an angler fish based on the shape of the jaw - were on a rampage as they readjusted to their old world, their pale spotted skin looking unhealthy against the dark coloration of the world, but was actually healthy as far as they were concerned. Having just escaped where they'd been banished to thanks to Tachyon, they were limbering up for a real war.
"Craggy!"
At the sound of that voice, both Cragmites turned, coming face to face with a crazed looking winged purple pony. "It's Craggy the friendly Cragmite!" she called out giddily, giggling like a loon. "You're gonna help me find my family, right?" She flew right up in the face of the first Cragmite as she called this out.
Snarling angrily, the large Cragmite took a swipe at her.
She floated back out of the way. "Oh...you aren't Craggy at all! My bad!" With a mad giggle, she launched a blast from her horn into the Cragmite. It screamed in unbearable agony as he was slowly torn apart at the subatomic level.
The other Cragmite stared in horror as the fate of his companion slowly played out. At the end of it, the pony was in his face. "Are you Craggy?" she asked wickedly.
Terrified out of his wits, the Cragmite nodded vigorously.
Laughing, the pony cast out energy bonds that wrapped around the Cragmite as she sat on its back. "Good Craggy!" she praised, grinning madly. "Now...if it isn't a Lombax, a Markazian, a robot, or Captain Qwark...kill anything that gets in our way. Now mush!" Conjuring an energy whip, the pony cracked it over the Cragmite's withers.
Bellowing in terror, he mushed.
Twilight continued to cackle madly, her perception twisted as she hid from loneliness in madness. She laughed as she saw the Cragmites fall to one of their own, adding to their terror and fear by blasting them on occasion, whether with magic or mundane weaponry. Her laughter obviously terrified her mount, and she reveled in that. At one point, she levitated up one of the smallest Cragmites. "Good Craggy!" she praised, then hurled the Cragmite into the acidic lakes below. "Fetch!" Her amusement tripled when 'Craggy' nearly lunged into the pools after the doomed Cragmite.
Before too long, 'Craggy' was in sight of Aphelion...and Twilight caught sight of her family.
Ratchet was startled, to say the least as a large Cragmite leapt down from the cliffs, practically landing on Qwark, who was being treated for his injuries by Talwyn. He was even more startled when Twilight leapt off the Cragmite's back and into his arms. "Daddy!"
"Twilight!" Ratchet called back, pulling her into a tight hug. He barely noticed the Cragmite racing off, howling in terror. "You're alright!"
"I am now..." Twilight whimpered, snuggling into him as her mane returned to normal. She buried her face in his chest as she cried in relief.
Clank stepped up to hug her as well, and Qwark - despite Talwyn's scolds - reached his unbroken arm over to pet her head. Talwyn managed a smile. "Good to see the brains of this outfit is in one piece."
"Hey!" Ratchet and Clank both snapped defensively, causing everyone else to giggle.
"While I am as glad as everyone else that the family is whole again," Aphelion piped up, "I'm afraid I must interrupt. My sensors are detecting a massive Cragmite Armada rapidly approaching Meridian City."
"That's the capitol!" Talwyn shouted out. "Ratchet, you and yours need to head there immediately to help suppress the invasion! We'll catch up as soon as we repair Cronk."
It was at this point that Twilight noticed the old warbot staggering around headless, only to collapse to the ground. "But...but what about Qwark?" she asked, looking towards her BBBFF.
"My inertial dampeners are not up to properly shielding a broken arm," Aphelion indicated. "Even one already in a cast."
"We'll bring him with us," Talwyn promised. "I have a med-table in my ship, where we can strap him in."
"No need for that!" Qwark proclaimed. "Twilight needs her whole family with her now. If a broken arm keeps me from joining her, then I simply won't have a broken arm!"
"Hide all the blades!" Zephyr called out worriedly.
Qwark laughed. "Oh, silly bot, I would not mar myself. I have something much more elemental in mind!" Turning his head towards the immobilization cast on his broken arm, his face scrunched in an effort of concentration.
As everyone watched in amazement, the cast burst off his arm from the sheer force of his flexing muscles. He then moved his arm back and forth, no sign of a break visible.
"H...how?" Talwyn gasped, stunned.
"Behold! The flexing of my muscles and sinews are too powerful for mere bone!" Qwark struck a pose. "I have flexed my broken bones mended!"
Talwyn glanced from Qwark to the others, completely stupefied.
"It's Captain Qwark," Ratchet offered helplessly.
"Safer not to question it," Clank added.
"Less headaches that way," Twilight agreed.
"Setting course for Meridian City," Aphelion piped up.
As Aphelion swooped into the atmosphere of Planet Igliak, she began scanning the battle situation. She knew Ratchet would want an answer as soon as possible.
"Aphelion, what's the situation on Meridian City?"
And there it was. Her scans were incomplete at the moment, but she could give him some information, and hopefully cheer her little family up. "Partly cloudy, 72 degrees. A perfect day for Krull fishing."
"We'll have to try that after dealing with the invasion," Twilight offered happily, hugging Ratchet and Clank.
"Speaking of?" Ratchet asked firmly.
Aphelion smiled to herself. She'd accomplished her goal there. "Over a quarter of the city has been decimated by Cragmite Drop Ships. They will not last long without support."
"That's our job," Clank indicated smugly.
As Aphelion landed, Twilight hopped out, deploying her RYNO IV. "Time to level this up the rest of the way," she stated grimly.
Aphelion watched proudly as the group headed off. "Make Father proud," she whispered to herself.
With the RYNO IV and the other weapons in Ratchet and Twilight's arsenal, the individual waves of Cragmites that came against them were easy enough to deal with, simply through sheer mass of firepower. And those that Twilight and Ratchet missed, Qwark found, switching between using a blaster and his bare fists at need. Unfortunately, the number of Cragmites deployed meant that the damage the trio was inflicting was not as massive as they'd hoped.
"This isn't working," Ratchet growled. "They just keep coming!"
"Then we need to make them go!" Twilight barked back. "We need to get to Tachyon!"
"There's a reason the Lombaxes didn't want a drawn out war, and now I see why!" she shouted back. "Let's go!"
"But what about the danger?" Qwark demanded.
"We're at the Godzilla Threshold!" Ratchet shouted back.
Qwark paused as he hefted a massive Cragmite over his head. "...I don't get it."
"It is a trope that dates back to Old Earth science fiction," Clank explained. "Regarding the films starring the kaiju Godzilla, King of Monsters-"
"Oh!" Qwark interrupted, light dawning in his eyes. "The situation's so bad that dropping Godzilla into the mix can't make it any worse! I'll clear a path! Charge!"
With a change in priorities, the group focused less on destroying all Cragmites and instead on getting past them. Progress was much smoother this way, as the Cragmites themselves seemed more interested in general destruction than focused assault on a trio capable of obliterating such an assault. And with Qwark charging ahead to clear a path - batting Cragmites of any size aside with backhands and punches - the group was able to advance rapidly.
The only real enemy challenge the group faced were walking tanks with heavy cannon fire, but Qwark proved his mettle by tearing chunks of masonry from walls or ground to give mobile cover to attack them from, often finishing them off by charging forward and smacking the tanks with the masonry chunk to send them flying. "Home Run!" he called out proudly each time he did so.
At one point, Ratchet had to use the Gyrocycle to progress further. While at first it seemed like this would mean leaving Qwark behind, Qwark had his own unique solution. Climbing onto Twilight's back, he pointed forward. "To battle!"
"There's no way I can fly with you on my back!" Twilight shouted. "The physics-"
"Not with that attitude you won't!" Qwark overrode her. "And don't talk to me about physics! You're magic!"
While Twilight didn't agree with the logic, she knew making the attempt would have more effect than any amount of arguing. The fact that it worked flawlessly left her rather put out, and Ratchet and Clank in stitches.
It was a good thing it worked as well as it did, though, since immediately after the gyro-cycle segment ended, a long corridor that could only be maneuvered through by flight - whether Twilight's organic wings or Clank's robo-wings - awaited them. As they flew through, they did their best to avoid obstacles, whether electrified fences or ordinary traffic, since it was apparently a commuter tunnel for flying cars.
When they reached the end, however, there was no trace of Tachyon.
"Dammit!" Ratchet cursed. "Where is he?"
"I...believe he is headed for Fastoon," Clank offered.
"What makes you think that?" Twilight asked.
"A cryptic message from the Zoni," Clank admitted.
"Wish you'd told us before we came here," Ratchet grumbled. "This whole trip has been a waste of time!"
"And time we don't have," Qwark agreed. "We need to get to Fastoon, pronto!"
"Thankfully, there's a teleporter to take us back to the ship here," Twilight indicated.
"Then let's go!" Ratchet shouted, leading the way.
Aphelion was startled to see the group return so readily. "Didn't you find him?" she asked.
"It was a dead end and a wild goose chase!" Ratchet told her. "Set a course for Fastoon!"
"You mean I get a second chance to defend it from Tachyon's forces?" Aphelion gasped in shock. "I won't let you down!"
"I know you won't, Aphelion," Ratchet confirmed. "Get us there as fast as you can."
"I've contacted Cronk," Clank mentioned. "Talwyn's group and the Pirates will meet us there."
"And then we go to war." Steeling herself, Aphelion set her engines to maximum. She would not fail this time, not again. She failed her father, Kaden. She would not fail his son.
As Aphelion entered the atmosphere of Planet Fastoon, she immediately came under fire. "Warning! Warning!" she shouted out. "Tachyon's fighters have locked onto our position!"
"Don't worry!" Twilight replied. "I gave you the perfect countermeasure for homing weapons at our last pit stop. Activate the mirror protocol!"
"Understood!" Aphelion replied, activating the program. An odd signal was broadcast on Aphelion's ID frequency...and the weaponry that was locked onto her veered away, targeting Cragmite and Drophyd craft. "What?"
"In a battlefield as crowded as this, the only way to lock onto a target reliably is to lock onto their ID signal," Twilight explained. "This requires a smart missile, with Friend/Foe recognition protocols. The Mirror signal broadcasts on the ID frequency, and inverts the Friend/Foe definitions in anything locked onto us."
"Even so, it won't be safe to land," Ratchet pointed out. "You'll be a stationary target. They won't need to lock on with homing weapons."
"Then good luck, brother," Aphelion murmured, popping her canopy.
"Wait, what did you call MEEEEEEE?!" As he spoke the last word, the group was launched into a free fall.
"I have an aunt!" Qwark called out as he dove for the ground fist first, not bothering to try and slow his descent. He came down on a Cragmite skull, flipping off the crushed corpse to begin attacking with a wide grin on his face.
When Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank reached the surface of Fastoon, they saw that Tachyon had fortified the place, plainly intending to turn it into a new dark Cragmite capitol. Cronk, Zephyr, and Talwyn joined them, ready to charge through.
"Qwark, Cronk, Zephyr, lay down covering fire!" Ratchet ordered. "Talwyn, Twilight, with me! Let's take out those mega cannons so Aphelion can do some bombing runs!"
"Yes sir!" Qwark, Cronk, and Zephyr barked out.
"On it!" Twilight shouted.
"Be careful everyone," Talwyn cautioned as Clank hopped to Ratchet's back.
The Mega Cannons were plainly visible, and not that difficult to get to with the covering fire Ratchet and crew were given. Actually disabling them proved more difficult, as they were both well constructed and well armored. When they managed to destroy the first, the ground troops immediately focused their efforts on taking them out.
When the assault started becoming too intense, Twilight pulled out a Zurkon the Bearded. "Too many friendlies to Locate City, but anything else goes!"
"Zurkon the Bearded has no need for friends! Zurkon the Bearded has magic omnipotent!"
As the little robot charged into battle, Twilight couldn't help but feel there was something of emotional significance to herself in its words, but she couldn't for the life of her think what.
With all five Mega Cannons down, Aphelion was able to come in for a landing after a few quick bombing runs, causing enough chaos that the airborne troops weren't interested in tracking her. Beyond that, she'd called in the Pirate Fleet to engage in orbit, and their new armaments put them on an even footing with Tachyon's fleet.
With heavy confrontation in the skies, the Cragmite and Drophyd ships began sending more and more troops to the surface. As Aphelion was still working with the Pirate fleet to triangulate Tachyon's exact location, Ratchet and Twilight began unloading their arsenal on the landing troops. Since there was a Grummel-net vendor right nearby - which dispensed free nanotech refills in addition to selling ammunition - neither of them saw reason to be stingy or cautious.
As she watched the pair unload their arsenals, Talwyn gasped for breath. "So...that's what they're like when they cut loose?" she asked breathlessly.
"Not quite," Qwark corrected. "That's what they're like when they're having fun. If you want to see cutting loose, you should see them when they're angry."
A Cragmite managed to come up on Ratchet and Twilight unawares, leaping to attack. Clank, strapped to Ratchet's back, pointed his arm at the leaping Cragmite and fired a massive energy discharge that incinerated the Cragmite. "Do not mess with Agent Clank," he stated calmly before blowing the smoke from his hand.
"I see what you mean," Talwyn commented, priming her pistol. As she watched Ratchet fighting for a time, she bit her lip...then promptly turn to shoot a few other Cragmite and Drophyds, in a direction where she wouldn't be distracted by hunky Lombax.
With all the cooperative effort, it wasn't long before Aphelion had Tachyon's exact location. "Let's finish this!" Twilight proclaimed firmly. She, Ratchet, and Clank leapt into Aphelion's cockpit, riding to above Tachyon's location before leaping into battle with him.
Coming down in the Court of Azimuth, they found Tachyon waiting for them, Dimensionator on his head and riding a massive war armor. "You know, Lombax, when I laid siege to this place, the Lombaxes took shelter in these very walls. You seem far more capable than they could ever be. Perhaps that's why they left you and your father behind when they fled from this dimension."
"...Fled?" Ratchet asked, shocked. "What are you talking about?"
Tachyon grinned as he pulled the Dimensionator's power cord. "Dimensionator! Find the Lombaxes!"
Before Ratchet's very eyes, a dimensional gateway opened. Beyond the gate beneath a blue sky lay a shining city, the architecture unmistakably Lombax. A place of absolute peace. Ratchet was startled to discover just how strongly his heart yearned for the place.
"I offer you this one chance," Tachyon explained. "Go home. Join your race. Or stay...and suffer."
Ratchet, as though hypnotized, began to reach forward.
"Daddy?" Twilight called out worriedly.
Blinking, Ratchet turned, and saw Twilight looking up at him worriedly. Thoughts raced through his mind, and a realization struck him with a force unbearable. He turned back to Tachyon. "Here's my answer!" he snapped, yanking out his Negotiator rocket launcher and firing it at the Dimensionator.
Tachyon did his best to evade, but the Negotiator was homing. The explosion rocked the world.
When the blinding light faded, Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight found themselves in the midst of a Dimensional Vortex. The Cragmites, Drophyds, and Tachyon were all caught in the wake of the damaged Dimensionator. "You fool!" Tachyon roared. "Do you have any idea what you've done?!"
"What my Father would have done," Ratchet replied, drawing out his upgraded Omega Disruptor. "And now I'm going to finish the job he left me...with the weapon he left for me to find." He began to charge it.
Tachyon laughed. "Do you really think that is all it will take to stop me? A second rate Lombax weapon?"
Ratchet grinned widely. "Twilight took one apart and experimented with it. Found ways to upgrade it. Found out how to disengage the Charge Limiter. In a dimensional vortex like this..." He left that sentence hanging as the weapon began to shake from the amount of energy it was storing.
Tachyon stared a little nervously. "You're bluffing!" he proclaimed hysterically. "You wouldn't take such a risk!"
"Wouldn't I?" Ratchet replied. "I'm a Lombax. And in the words of, I'm certain, so many of my brethren..." He braced the Disruptor against the ground. "What does this button do?" He pulled the trigger.
Tachyon screamed as the dimensional blast knocked him into the Vortex, which quickly began to consume everything within it. Twilight managed to catch hold of the falling Dimensionator. "We need to get out of here, fast!"
Ratchet quickly looked over the device. "It's not working! I think something got knocked loose!"
"Perhaps a three and three-quarters centicubit hexagonal washer?" Clank suggested, holding out the one The Plumber had given him on Sargasso.
Grabbing it, he pushed it into the Dimensionator, where it clicked in. Strapping it on as the platform began to crumble, Ratchet grabbed hold of Twilight and Clank. "Dimensionator!" he called out as he pulled the cord. "Find home!"
The world swirled before their eyes, and he blacked out.
Ratchet slowly came to, blinking his eyes as he struggled to focus. He could see a dome of some sort over his head, but his vision was too blurry to see what sort of dome it was. A somewhat familiar blurry metallic figure entered his field of vision.
"Ratchet?" Clank asked. "Are you alright?"
Recognizing Clank, Ratchet shook his head a bit, clearing his eyes enough to see his surroundings. "Where...are we?" he asked, just before his vision became clear enough to recognize the Court of Azimuth.
Clank smiled down at him as Talwyn, Zephyr, Cronk, Twilight, and Qwark crowded around him. Gesturing to everyone, Clank replied simply, "We are home."
Ratchet managed a soft smile as he was helped up. While not what he'd intended when he'd told the Dimensionator to find home...he had to admit it was true. With family and friends around him...he was home.
Once everyone was outside the Court of Azimuth, under a blue sky clear of any sort of battle, everyone began to relax. Qwark was hanging out with Rusty Pete, Ace Hardlight, and a few of the other pirates learning how to act the part better. He was having trouble getting the right attitude, accent, and dialogue though, much to Hardlight's amusement. Cronk and Zephyr were having fun 'reenacting' the fight between Ratchet and Tachyon, much to the amusement of the pirates who were watching and assisting in the reenactment. Talwyn was running around trying to keep everyone in line.
Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight were sitting off in one corner on their own, decompressing. Twilight was sitting in Ratchet's lap, enjoying having her head and neck caressed, letting out a soft whinny that was almost a purr. Clank was sitting in front of them, analyzing the Dimensionator.
After a time, Twilight spoke up. "Daddy...do you regret not going through that portal?" she asked. "It's...probably the only chance you'll get to be with Lombaxes again..."
Ratchet shrugged his shoulders. "Not really," Ratchet replied. "I...don't think I'd fit well with other Lombaxes, for the most part. I mean...what do I know about my own people's culture? Society? Heritage? Evolution? Heck, even how they govern themselves?" He shook his head. "I mean, I have this vision in my head of them as a shining example to the galaxy...but I've seen enough to know that can't be all they were. And...I'm not entirely sure I want to learn what the rest of it is. I've got Aphelion and...Angela to give me whatever information I really want, answer any questions I really want answered. But actually leaving all this behind to go to my own people?" He let out a dismissive laugh. "Even the Dimensionator knew I didn't really want that. When I told it to find home, it brought us...here. To our friends and family."
Twilight chuckled. "Yeah...I guess so."
"If anything, I regret that it's no longer usable," Ratchet sighed. At the worried glance Twilight shot him, he stroked her cheek. "I mean...it could have found your homeworld, Twilight. Could have...helped me keep my promise to you."
Tearing up a bit, Twilight nuzzled him.
"Actually, I think it tried to," Clank spoke up, drawing Ratchet and Twilight's attention. "The Dimensionator keeps a record of the actions it takes or attempts, and that continues to function even if it ceases to function in other ways. It lists three actions for its last functionality. The first being taking the three of us out of the dimensional rift, the second being closing said rift. But on the third, there's an error message."
"Error message?" Ratchet asked, pulling the Dimensionator over to him to read it from the small pop-up screen. "...Etheric quotient exceeds safety parameter Omega, can not open rift gates within 500 light years of mobile etheric source...quantum instability detected, contact Temporal Administrator Orvus for further assistance?"
"Apparently, Twilight's homeworld is not at fixed spatial coordinates, and is a huge concentration of etheric - magical - energy," Clank explained. "Something that the Lombaxes apparently knew about and understood. In addition, it seems to be experiencing some sort of quantum anomaly, and this...Orvus...is the only one who can give the answers..." Clank's voice trailed off. "Orvus...that name...it means something to me..."
At that moment, a massive surge of energy erupted above the gathered group, a swirling vortex of light visible to all. Three Zoni floated down, also in the visible spectrum, and Ratchet and Twilight - amongst others - were able to see them. They were tiny, robot-like creatures with relatively large heads, big blue eyes, and tiny arms and legs.
They approached Clank. "We needed to be sure you survived," they spoke together, their voices echoing. "Now it's time to come home."
"Wait, what?" Ratchet demanded as Clank seemed to go blank eyed. "Where are you taking him?"
"Mommy?" Twilight called out worriedly.
"Mommy?" Qwark echoed her.
The Zoni surrounded Clank in a quantum field. "The time has come, sire...to learn who you are...and who you will become."
"Leave my Mommy alone!" Twilight shouted out, charging her magic up and firing a powerful blast at the Zoni...only to gape as the blast froze in time before it ever reached them.
"It is time to understand your purpose," the Zoni continued as Ratchet and Qwark both lunged in, only to bounce off the energy field surrounding them. "It is time to come with us."
"Yes..." Clank muttered drowsily, plainly not fully functional. "Time to come with you..."
"Clank!" Ratchet shouted painfully as he watched Clank vanish, along with the Zoni and the vortex.
"MOMMY!" Twilight wailed, reaching for the empty space where one of the pillars of her world had vanished without a trace, tears pouring from her eyes.
None dared speak up in the silence that followed, broken only by Twilight's sobs.
Under Twilight's banner, the Pirate Fleet coasted into the atmosphere of Planet Merdegraw. "So...you're certain this is where Captain Darkwater and his treasure hoard are buried?" she demanded of Rusty Pete.
"Abso-hic-lutely!" the drunken pirate agreed, cradling the head of the late Captain Slag in his hands.
"And Darkwater's the only one in the galaxy who knew anything about the Zoni?" Ratchet clarified.
"That's what IRIS said," Talwyn indicated. "Even IRIS didn't have any information about the Zoni themselves."
"And...how come you're carrying Slag's head around?" Qwark asked. "It's...kinda creepy."
"Don't insult Space Pirate traditions!" Pete barked out. "When a brave pirate falls in battle, his parts are harvested to be equipped to anyone who is missing pieces, so our fallen comrades can be fighting by our sides once more, forever standing with us!"
"A touching - if morbid - sentiment," Twilight admitted. "So...you're carrying Slag's head around just in case somebody should happen to need a spare?"
"More or less, yeah," Pete agreed. "Also, Slag's the only one who knows exactly where Blackwater's buried, so..."
Pulling her pirate hat off, Twilight examined the second set of coordinates on its insides, the ones labeled as a treasure trove. "Here on Hoolefar Island?" she asked.
"Well...yeah," Pete agreed. "But there's all sortsa traps and whatnot that'll stop us from gettin' through without Slag's help-"
"Pete," Twilight interrupted. "If you want to bring Slag along with you when we go there, all you have to do is ask. I'm the Captain. I can give permission."
"P-permission to bring Slag along ta see the booty, Captain?" Pete asked tearfully.
"Granted," Twilight replied. "Now wipe your eyes before you rust anymore."
"So," Twilight asked for clarification after they passed through the settlement on Hoolefar Island, "the Obsidian Eye is a powerful telescope designed to keep in contact with the Zoni?"
"That's what I understand," Rusty Pete replied.
"So the Zoni are somewhere in our universe, then?"
"Sure seems that way."
"But we need the Fulcrum Star from Blackwater's treasure to activate it," Ratchet continued. "So we need to go dig it up."
"But the only way to find Darkwater Cove where the treasure trove is is to dig up Blackwater's body in the Morrow Caverns," Talwyn concluded.
"Shouldn't be too hard!" Qwark proclaimed happily. "What could possibly go wrong?"
"Never. Say that. Again," Ratchet grumbled at Qwark as a large portion of the group ducked for cover behind massive boulders to evade out of control ectoplasmic surges.
After passing through Morrow Caverns carefully to evade traps and rockfalls - Twilight's magic making quite a few last moment saves as she caught falling rubble and machinery before it could hit someone - the group had reached Darkwater's Tomb. Of course, as soon as they'd reached Darkwater's headless body, Pete had the brilliant idea of attaching Slag's head to the body to resurrect Slag. It had worked, after a fashion...but it had also resurrected Darkwater, and the two were now fighting for control of the body while the undead spirits of Blackwater's crew swarmed the place, seeking their old bodies to possess...or anything else that would make a viable ghost host, such as the recently vacated body of somebody else.
"Captain on the bridge!"
That shout drew everyone's attention as Twilight stepped onto the ship. She turned to the undead pirate leader. "Blackwater ye scurvy dog, I'm Captain Sparks! I hereby challenge you for leadership of all Pirates in this cluster!"
Blackwater laughed aloud. "Ye and what army, foal?"
"She probably means the armada she's got surrounding the planet," Slag pointed out. "She's very thorough like that."
"So what?" Blackwater demanded. "With the trillium deposits, no radio signal-"
Twilight opened a magic window to the bridge of the Pirate flagship. "Ace, are you ready to open fire?"
"Ready and waiting," Ace replied. "The entire planet's been evacuated, and if any ghosts prove uncooperative, we're ready to drop the etheric charges and turn the entire planet into a magical singularity. We've also got a lock on all of you to teleport you out before the charges land."
"On my signal," Twilight replied before closing the window. She then smirked up at Blackwater. "That army," she replied calmly.
Blackwater burst into laughter. "Well now, a lass after me own heart! Alright, let's see what you got. A captain's duel is one weapon only. And I be usin' me sword!"
Smiling, Twilight drew out a tweaked Alpha Disruptor. "And I'll use the Theta Disruptor," she stated calmly. "In addition to dimensional weft technology, it contains an etheric charge, adding a magical aspect to the shot." Calmly, she aimed the weapon at Blackwater's right kneecap.
Blackwater stared for a time, then seemed to shrug his whole body.
Just as calmly, Twilight shifted her point of aim to his left shoulder.
This repeated several times, Blackwater getting more and more nervous as Twilight shifted the point of aim to random and seemingly unimportant parts of his body. Finally, he dropped his sword. "For the sake o' me undead crew, I yield! But how could ye track me anchor?"
"Ever since I first heard about undead robot pirate ghosts from Qwark's vidcomic, I've been studying how it could work," she explained. "I finally discovered that it was possible to create a technological device that could act as a focal point for a massive amount of ectoplasmic energy, but it would always give off a specific etheric signature. I just scanned for that. Clever of you to put it in your own body. The nature of the curse lets you self repair, meaning that short of total destruction or damage by a magical source, the anchor itself becomes indestructible."
"And now ye know why I gave her me hat!" Slag pointed out.
"...aye..." Blackwater agreed. "And I know what I need ta do now. The mystic that sold me the curse told me that a lass might come with magic of great strength, and that if I fought her the curse itself would turn agin me. She swore me to obey that lass in all things, or be cast into the abyss forever...and in rhyme, too." He shivered all over. "Last time I buy anything from a merchant with stripes. At any rate, yer in charge...Captain Sparks."
For some reason, the description of the mystic seemed familiar to Twilight, but she shrugged it off. She had more important things on her mind. "I hereby requisition the Fulcrum Star to power the Obsidian Eye," she ordered. "The Zoni kidnapped my Mommy."
"They what?" Slag demanded, his sudden rage on Twilight's behalf momentarily completely overwhelming Blackwater. "We'll make the scurvy dogs pay!"
Plugging the Fulcrum Star into the Obsidian Eye, Twilight gazed into the telescope's viewscreen as it showed her what she sought.
Clank hovered in a stasis field, Zoni surrounding him.
"Has the chosen one spoke?" one of the Zoni asked.
When several Zoni energized him, Clank began to babble. "If X is the coefficient of A squared minus the improbability of the hypotenuse at absolute zero, the Bogon index of the denominator must be equal or lesser to the number of bees in your bonnet." He then burst into laughter.
"Don't worry, sire," one of the Zoni reassured Clank. "The doctor will be able to repair you."
A door behind the Zoni opened. "He has arrived!" several Zoni chanted.
Despite a momentary moment of comedy as the 'doctor' fell down the stairs, there was nothing reassuring about discovering that Dr. Nefarious had Clank in his clutches, and the Zoni obeying him.
"Signal lost," the Obsidian Eye computer intoned. "Coordinates acquired for the Breegus Nebula."
"We're off!" Qwark proclaimed, the pirates present cheering along with him.
"No," Twilight countered. "Qwark, you need to get back to Solaris. Let our friends there know we're okay, and call in the cavalry for backup in case we need it. Have them rendezvous with the pirates here, then meet us in the Breegus Nebula." She turned to the Pirates. "Stay here in Polaris and make sure no one takes advantage of the power vacuum left behind by Tachyon's fall. As my first mate, Ace Hardlight is in charge until I return!"
"Aye, Captain!" the pirates shouted back as Ratchet and Twilight leapt into Aphelion.
"So...why give those orders?" Ratchet asked as he set the course.
"Because someone needs to let Sasha know what's going on," Twilight replied. "And this is the only way to put you back in charge. I hate giving orders..."
"Got it," Ratchet replied, letting Aphelion lead the way.
Qwark's ship gracefully cut the atmosphere of Kerwan as he set course for the private landing pad on the roof of the family estate, as he'd come to think of what had once been his 'little bachelor pad'. As he passed over Metropolis, he opened communications with the Planetary Defense Center, figuring that was the best way to get in contact with Sasha and the others. "This is Captain Qwark calling the Planetary Defense Center. Captain Qwark calling PDC, over!"
"PDC here!" Al called back over the comms. "It's been a while Qwark. What happened to you and the others? You all vanished during Tachyon's assault."
"I'm actually here to brief you all on that, specifically President Phyronix," Qwark explained. "Can you put me through to her?"
"I'm afraid not," Al replied with a frown. "She's at the 'Sparkle Estate' for a private meeting, and is completely incommunicado short of planetary emergency."
"We'll, I'm coming in for landing there," Qwark replied. "So I'll be able to tell her in person, then! By the way, I'm also here to call up the cavalry, so get everyone ready for marching orders. Qwark out!" Cutting the communication, he guided the ship into landing. While it was still powering down, he leapt out and rushed inside.
"President Phyronix!" he called out bombastically as he raced through the house, following the smell of Sasha's favorite tea. He also smelled Ratchet's favorite tea, which meant Sasha either had someone over or was trying to ease her worries over them by reliving scent memories. Either way, she would likely welcome his news. "Sasha, I have news about-" He skidded to a halt as he reached the lounge.
Sasha was sitting on the couch, holding a tea cup with one hand as she stifled some giggles. Next to her was Angela Cross, who had set her teacup down to hold in her belly laughs. "You mean he still does that?" she gasped out.
"He did when I last saw him," Sasha replied laughing. "Doesn't matter how famous he gets or how much of a big shot he is, or even how long I've been in a relationship with him...get even a little bit flirtatious with Ratchet when he doesn't expect it and he gets all tongue-tied."
"Does he still drop everything if Twilight so much as coughs?" Angela inquired further.
"Oh yes," Sasha replied with a groan. "Everything. She even had to lecture him about it being bad form to interrupt our 'training sessions' to check on her...and he only agreed when she complained about not liking how our scents mixed."
"So you made a lion out of Ratchet, huh?" Angela asked slyly. "So how'd you enjoy it with a Lombax?"
Sasha managed an embarrassed chuckle. "It was...quite the experience," she admitted. "Are Lombax males...always like that?"
"Like what, exactly?" Angela asked.
"So...energetic and...insatiable?"
Angela laughed. "According to my Mom, only if they get the strong warrior or scientist genes. From what I saw - and you've told me - of Ratchet, whatever his parentage is, he's got both! Which is why I was more than happy to come keep my promise to Twilight now that I've confirmed Percival Tachyon's dead."
"You really mean to join Ratchet's...harem?" Sasha asked. "Not that I'm opposed, it's rather traditional for Cazarians as well, but there are very few females I've met of any race that are so open minded about the idea." She chuckled wickedly. "Beyond that, I'm surprised you're willing to share the - from what we can determine - last living male Lombax in the universe."
Angela shrugged. "Three things. One, it's as natural for Lombaxes to form group or open relationships as it is for Cazarians. Two, if he is the last male Lombax in the universe, then he's got a lot of work ahead of him repopulating."
"Doubt he'll complain about that," Sasha joked.
Angela nodded as she laughed. "And third, from what my Mom told me about Lombax males with the genes for science and battle, it'd take four of us just to keep up with him. Tell me, when he really got going, how...relaxed...did you get?"
Sasha blushed as she chuckled. "I see your point." Turning away, she noticed Qwark. "Qwark! You're back!" Setting her tea down, she leapt to her feet. "How's Ratchet? And Twilight and Clank? Are they here with you?"
"Much to Ratchet's bad luck, apparently, no," Qwark replied. "Angela...it's...been a while."
"I hear Ratchet adopted you," Angela teased, taking a sip of her tea.
"Indeed!" Qwark confirmed proudly. "Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Copernicus Leslie Qwark Sparkle Gyro-"
Angela's tea promptly wound up all over the wall. "Why the Angela has a self-censor function are you using the name Gyro?" she demanded, plainly shocked and possibly stupefied.
"Because it's Dad's birth name," Qwark explained. "Ratchet Gyro. He learned that when he found the ship Aphelion, built by his father-"
"Kaden Gyro?" Angela interrupted. "Married to Vashiir Gyro?"
Qwark nodded. "Precisely. I take it they were famous?"
"Actually, Vashiir and my mom, Lorna, were best friends," Angela explained. "And it's a good thing I was already intending to join Ratchet's harem...since the last thing my mom told me before Tachyon's war began was that she and Vashiir had arranged an assignation between me and Vashiir's son."
"Lombaxes still practiced arranged marriages with children?" Sasha asked, surprised.
"Only amongst the nobles," Angela replied. "Since your rank in Lombax society was determined by your ability, it was common for the elite to arrange marriages between their children and acclimate them to each other for better relationships starting young, as a way to breed for talent. Of course, careful records were kept to prevent excessive inbreeding between close relations."
"Dad's a Lombax elite?" Qwark asked, shocked. "What was his title?"
"The titles we use don't have exact equivalents in Galactic Standard," Angela explained. "But...relative to ranks...I think it would be...Prince?"
Sasha sank back into the sofa in shock. "...and I thought I'd outgrown all those 'Prince Charming' stories Dad read me as a cub..."
Glancing around, Qwark cleared his throat. "So...is now a bad time to mention that Clank was kidnapped by the Zoni right in front of Twilight?"
"What?" Angela and Sasha both shouted, leaping to their feet...the reaction only somewhat marred by Angela tripping into the table.
Clank awoke in darkness. At first, he was a bit disoriented, but his proximity sensors told him that Dr. Nefarious and Lawrence were nearby. His auditory sensors had not yet reactivated, but his motor functions had. Deciding not to waste time, he immediately raced for a nearby door.
His auditory sensors reactivated just in time to hear a robotic voice proclaim, "Backup generator activated." The room filled with light, and Clank paused by the door as he adjusted from dark vision.
Nefarious turned towards where Clank had been, only to see nothing. "What the?" Spinning, he saw Clank. "He's awake!" he proclaimed. "Stop him!"
Clank's memory files were still suffering from damage of some sort, but an old file kicked in, giving him a way to handle himself. Turning, he raced off, slipping partially into the persona of 'Secret Agent Clank'. They'd actually made a film where 'Agent Clank' awoke in an unknown facility somewhere with partial memory file corruption, so he would just make use of that here.
Following the path, he spotted several creatures his databanks registered as 'Zoni' being harassed by some sort of sonic weapon creation. However, he had no data available defining the Zoni as friend or foe, so he continued on, ignoring their plight for the moment. However, their image did call up other data files, and he realized there was something important missing...something that filled him with anger as he raced onward through the beautiful halls and mechanisms of...wherever he was.
He knew he'd never been here before - wherever here was - but it was still somehow familiar. He found himself...oddly saddened at the destruction the sonic weapon was causing, but he pushed it aside as he raced onward across glass floors partially damaged by the thing's rampage.
A hologram of a strange robot that resembled a cross between a gumball machine and a popcorn maker with manipulator arms appeared next to a walkway just as it collapsed. "Sire!" it called out. "Listen to me! I'm your only hope for escaping Dr. Nefarious! Get into the air ducts and keep moving!"
Having nothing more likely planned, Clank followed the advice, racing through the open air duct. Finding himself in a large room somewhat shielded from the noise of elsewhere, Clank saw the hologram appear again. "Good," the hologram said in relief. "You're safe now."
"Where am I?" Clank demanded firmly. "And what is Dr. Nefarious doing here?"
"I'll explain everything as soon as you're safe, sir," the hologram promised. "But right now, your systems calibrations are out of whack. Let's just give you a quick check up, shall we?"
After recalibrating his ocular functions, Clank continued onward. However, he was getting miffed at being led around by the nose. Finding himself in a huge chamber, he continued on along the collapsing paths as a computerized voice spoke about time anomalies on various worlds. Lawrence could also be heard on the screen talking about how rapidly the number of Zoni in the facility were dwindling, from over a hundred thousand to less than three hundred. For some reason, Clank found that detail both worrisome and upsetting.
One particular thing Nefarious called out to the Zoni, however, stuck with Clank. "Remember when I told you where your new Master was and you kidnapped him right in front of his easily traumatized daughter? Priceless!"
The world around Clank went red, and he wasn't even aware of blasting the announcement screen to bits. He continued onward along the path. A large portion of it exploded, then froze in mid explosion. Clank ignored the holographic guide as he appeared, charging along the path. Whenever he spotted one of Nefarious' devices, he blasted it to bits without hesitation...along with any other obstacles that got in his way.
"Orvus never mentioned you had an arm cannon," the hologram murmured at one point as Clank raced past it, continuing to shoot at anything in his way.
The damage to the mechanisms of the location seemed to upset the hologram as well, but Clank ignored it for the moment. He also shot any screen he spotted that Nefarious was being broadcast from.
Eventually, Clank spotted the real robot behind the hologram, just before it was sealed inside a room. "Sir!" the robot called out. "They've locked me-WAAAGH!"
The scream was because Clank had switched from arm cannon to arm blade, and the energy blade had slashed through the door with ease. Clank had them kicked the door in before pinning the robot to the wall, the blade at his neck. "I have four questions for you," Clank growled out. "Answer them honestly and quickly, and you remain in one piece. Otherwise, I show you why you do not mess with Agent Clank. Where am I, how did I get here, who are you, and most importantly..."
Clank slammed his clenched fist into the wall. "Where is my daughter?" he growled out angrily.
Several nuts and bolts dropped out the bottom of the robot he had pinned. "You're in the Great Clock, built by your father Orvus!" he began, speaking so fast that Clank had to listen in slow motion. "The Zoni brought you here on Dr. Nefarious instruction after your father vanished! I'm Sigmund, your Father's assistant and caretaker in his absence! I work for you! Twilight's still with Ratchet!"
Clank pulled his blade back. "...I see," he murmured. While he wouldn't normally believe him right off the bat, he recognized absolute terror when he saw it...and it all rang true. "Sorry about the rough treatment-"
"So...awesome!" Sigmund gasped out. "It was just like being in one of your holo-films! Where'd you get the blaster and energy sword?"
"Gifts from Twilight," Clank explained. "Now, what is the Great Clock?" Seeing Sigmund flinch visibly at another explosion, he held up his hand to forestall a complicated explanation. "Something that could spell great evil if destroyed or misused?"
"That could destroy the universe!" Sigmund gasped out.
"All I need to know," Clank replied, turning and bringing his energy cannon out again. "Follow me." He raced forward along the only available path.
Sigmund squealed audibly. "So...awesome!" He immediately raced after Clank, grabbing a discarded pipe in one of his manipulators on impulse.
As Clank raced on, followed by Sigmund, he found himself confronting Dr. Nefarious himself. "Well, Clank," Nefarious began. "You've led me a merry chase...say, where did you get an energy blade?"
"Twilight," Clank replied, stalking forward.
"Well, she is impressive, isn't she?" Nefarious asked. "And...why are you still walking towards me?"
"I was planning on dismembering you before interrogating your head," Clank replied calmly.
Nefarious staggered back, practically tripping over Lawrence. "But...but you're the hero! Heroes don't do that!"
"I'm not a hero just now," Clank replied. "I'm a parent worried about his child..." His eyes turned red. "And you know something."
"Lawrence!" Nefarious screamed in terror. "Get us out of here!"
"Immediately, sir," Lawrence replied, teleporting them both away.
Clank stared after the vanished foes and sighed, disengaging his energy blade. "So much for that lead," he muttered. "Now, Sigmund...show me what I need to do to fix this place."
"Right away, sir!"
By the time Ratchet and Twilight had made it to the Breegus System, Qwark had managed to catch back up with them, claiming to have 'taken a shortcut taught to him by a pink skeleton'. Ratchet and Twilight both decided not to question that. Besides, Twilight found much more amusement in Qwark's retelling of his meeting with Sasha and Angela, especially the expressions Ratchet made in reaction.
"You realize this ship has an ejector seat, right Twilight?" Ratchet chided as she laughed anew at Qwark's retelling of Sasha's testimony of 'Ratchet in the bedroom', even if Qwark didn't quite realize that's what he was describing.
"As if Aphelion would eject her niece," Twilight countered.
"I certainly wouldn't!" Aphelion confirmed.
Ratchet sighed. "At least you aren't laughing at me, sis." He was...rather touched to learn that Aphelion was, technically, his sister, and he found in himself a desire not unlike Twilight's for a sibling. As such, he'd taken to referring to her as 'sis'.
"Oh, I have been," Aphelion replied. "Just silently, to spare your ego."
Unfortunately, having a sibling came with all the difficult parts as well. Groaning, Ratchet checked the nav computer. "So where are we headed? We're in the Breegus System...where to now?"
"Dunno," Qwark replied. "Talwyn only said the sector was crawling with mercenaries. Took a while to convince Sasha and Angela not to come to your aid when they heard that-"
"Wait! Angela and Sasha have met Talwyn?" Ratchet gasped out.
"Of course!" Qwark replied. "They were talking about having a slumber party while they waited for the call for backup. Those three are getting along like a house afire!"
Groaning, Ratchet slammed his forehead into the console.
"Warning! Warning! Unidentified anomaly detected!" Aphelion announced, red lights flashing over the console.
"I didn't do it!" Ratchet shouted out, prompting even more laughter from Twilight.
A strange blue energy wave passed over the ship.
"Error!" Aphelion shouted out. "Unknown energy overloading systems. Shutting down all but life support to preserve AS functionality! Crash protocols engaged!"
"Hang on!" Ratchet shouted, doing his best to steer the ship with the unresponsive controls.
The ship cut into the atmosphere of an unknown planet at an unsafe angle, only just barely shifting to protect the occupants from an excess of reentry heat. Pieces of the ship broke off as it fell.
"Twilight! Can you give us any protection?" Ratchet begged.
"That energy wave...it messed with my magic!" Twilight groaned, clutching her head as blue lightning arced up and down her horn. "Can't...push past it..."
As Aphelion bounced and tumbled through the atmosphere and off landscape, she flipped one last time into what would be a lethal crash...only to halt as the air around them all turned blue.
Twilight blinked as the energy dissipated around her horn. "...oh. That's why I couldn't force past it. I thought it was spatial energy, but it was temporal energy!" Popping open the canopy, she calmly hopped down debris that were suspended in midair.
"Uh...Twilight?" Qwark called out. "Are you sure it's...safe?"
"It's Zoni magic," Twilight replied. "I've dealt with it before. It's the same time manipulation ability Clank was using while we were going after Tachyon, but on a much more massive scale."
"So...is it safe to leave Aphelion here and explore?" Ratchet asked.
Twilight glanced over Aphelion, scanning with her magic. "...it's going to have to be," she murmured worriedly. "This anomaly right here is the only thing keeping her AS functioning. If we try to move her out of the anomaly, her core systems will be wiped. We're...we're going to need to find some way to address the anomaly to get her out of there."
"Alright," Ratchet replied, hopping out of the ship. "Let's go explore this uncharted jungle and find some Zoni."
"Should somebody stand guard over her?" Qwark asked. "In case the anomaly fades?"
Twilight shook her head. "Bad idea," she countered. "There's only three of us while Aphelion's offline. We shouldn't leave anyone on their own in a new environment. That's just asking for trouble, or kidnappings..." She winced visibly, biting her tongue. "I don't want to risk losing anyone...not now."
Qwark nodded. "Alright Twilight. Aphelion's...a big girl. I guess she can take care of herself."
With that, the trio turned to head into the uncharted wilderness.
The trio made their way carefully into the lush forest surrounding them, the wildlife peaceful as far as they could tell. The path was mostly straightforward and well traveled, and could be expected to have some degree of safety. The trees were tall and tropical, the sky blue and cloudless, and the sun shone brightly. What wildlife did attack them was tiny and barely worth note, easily dissuaded with a single swing of wrench or fist. A dilapidated stone bridge showed signs of civilization, and proved enough to make their way across a river running far below.
Before long, they reached a wide pool that spilled over into a waterfall...and Qwark admitted something he'd kept close to his chest.
"Umm...I'm not so good with the swimming in the moving water," he admitted.
"But what about the pools of water in your training course?" Twilight demanded, shocked.
"I held my breath, walked across the bottom, and climbed up the opposite wall," Qwark explained. "With all this muscle mass, I've got super negative buoyancy or something."
"Then wait here," Ratchet explained. "Looks like a mechanism of some sort over there. It'll probably extend a bridge or something."
"I got it!" Twilight called out, flying over to it. As expected, the mechanism did, in fact, raise a bridge over the pool. "Come on, you two!"
"So what's our plan, anyway?" Qwark asked as they crossed.
"Where there are bridges, there are people," Ratchet explained. "Where there are people, there are ships. Failing all else, we can get off this rock to find some Zoni to help Aphelion."
"I...guess that works as a plan," Twilight allowed, not liking the idea of leaving Aphelion behind.
"Alrighty then!" Qwark proclaimed eagerly, smashing his way through a thin stone wall to clear a path. Behind the stone wall, two other columns of blue time-light - as Twilight had come to think of it - held other areas in suspended time. "...is that normal for this planet?" Qwark asked worriedly.
"If it isn't, something seriously wrong is happening," Ratchet indicated.
"If it is, someone likely knows how to get Aphelion out safely," Twilight countered.
Since they had no better idea of what to do, the trio clambered up the bits of floating rock to a new path. Not long after, they encountered a Grummel-Net Uplink. "Maybe they can tell us something useful," Ratchet suggested, approaching it.
"We're sorry," the uplink intoned, "but this Grummel-Net uplink is currently not linked to the main network due to a temporal anomaly in the vicinity. Please accept our apologies for only being able to provide you with a tutorial for the new line of weaponry, the Constructo Models. These modular weapons utilize a variety of components to achieve various effects, allowing you to fully customize your arsenal. You are currently equipped with the Constructo-Pistol. Allow us to provide you with the new Constructo-Bomb, in exchange for 1000 bolts each."
"That's...moderately useful," Twilight allowed, swiping her bolt card.
As they continued on, a strange, purple skinned alien in homespun garb came running up to them. "Help!" she cried out. "Please help me! My children are in danger!"
"What seems to be the problem, citizen?" Qwark asked formally.
"Zyphoids!" the woman explained, gesturing to the fungus like creatures the group had been fighting. "We were fishing near the river when they attacked!"
"Qwark, stay here and keep her safe," Ratchet ordered. "Twilight, you help the kids. I'll take care of the Zyphoids."
"Understood!" Qwark barked out with a salute.
"Got it!" Twilight intoned as she flew off.
The division of labor worked well. Ratchet would go up to where each child was hiding from the Zyphoids and draw attention by wading into them, wrench swinging. Twilight would use the distraction to telekinetically lift the child onto her back and fly them back over to Qwark, who would catch them gently as they came down and set them beside their mother, standing guard over them until the ordeal was over. With Ratchet not having to worry about hitting a friendly target, he could be a lot more free with the use of his arsenal.
While their focus was on saving the three children, all three travelers noticed them talking about someone named 'Orvus', and they plainly recognized Ratchet on sight as a Lombax. They decided not to investigate this for now, but they felt they were on the right track for finding Clank.
When pursuing the third child, Ratchet and Twilight found themselves entering an area in which time seemed to be constantly fluxing between flowing normally, pausing, and flowing backwards. Platforms took shape, broke apart, and froze mid-fall, only to take shape again.
"This looks like it will require very careful planning and maneuvering," Ratchet murmured.
"Or I could just fly over," Twilight offered, flapping her wings.
"Or you could just fly over," Ratchet agreed, feeling more than a little silly.
Twilight smiled as she flew over, safely grabbing the child and collecting a Constructo-Mod for their pistols. She returned safely with both.
"Oh, thank you!" the woman cried out joyfully as she embraced her three children. "But the Zyphoids will be back soon. We must make haste to the village where it is safe."
"Lead the way," Ratchet replied. "We'll watch your back."
"Our deepest thanks," the woman offered sincerely, turning to lead the way to the village, keeping careful track of her children and making certain they didn't run off. Walking up to a large wall, she called out, "Alphius! Open the door!"
The wall lowered, and another member of her race - which the nav-comps finally identified as Fongoids - greeted her. "Enessa? What are you doing out here?"
Twilight did her best to keep her giggles inside. He sounds like Stitch, she thought, remembering one of her favorite movies as a child.
"The Zyphoids are back!" Enessa explained hurriedly. "There must be something wrong with the time keeper."
"Not in front of the outsiders!" Alphius responded chidingly. "Quickly, we must head to the village."
As the Fongoids led the way, Ratchet, Twilight, and Qwark fanned out around them, working to keep the path clear. As they entered the village proper, Alphius spoke up. "I saw your starship crash on the other side of the ridge. Perhaps we can be of assistance."
"You can help Aphelion?" Twilight gasped eagerly.
"Not I," Alphius replied. "The Zoni. Meet me at the Temple of Zon whenever you are ready." Indicating the structure with his glowing staff, he headed off. "I will explain everything there."
It didn't even take a full moment of thought for the trio to agree to see what could be done, and they made their way to the Temple.
On the way to the Temple of Zon, Twilight spotted a Grummel-net vendor, and decided to see if they had anything new. She and Ratchet each acquired one of the new 'Sonic Eruptor' weapons. Twilight wasn't sure how to feel about the weapon.
"A...genetically engineered creature, designed to only function as a weapon?" she asked, feeling a little iffy about it. "And...it looks like someone cut the front half off a giant bull frog and stuck it to the front of a gun."
"It's...pretty effective, though," Ratchet pointed out, equally weirded out by the weapon.
"I think it's kinda cute and squishy," Qwark offered helpfully, only to get weird looks. "What?"
Deciding to set that aside for the moment, the trio headed for the Temple where Alphius was waiting for them. "Your starship is not beyond repair," he explained to them, his voice serious. "But fixing it will take powers beyond anything this universe has ever seen, powers not to be taken lightly. Can you keep a secret?"
Twilight stepped forward with a smile. "Cross my heart," she began, making the motions, "hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, we will reveal this secret to no one who isn't already aware of it."
Alphius gasped and shivered. "Truly you can be trusted. Never would any of us who know the power of time have demanded of you invoking the Pink One. She is terrifying."
Ratchet glanced down at Twilight, a thoughtful frown on his face. He was beginning to get a few ideas about exactly how Twilight had found her way to him...and what might have happened to her in the process. When I keep my promise to her...things are likely to be awkward. He shivered. Especially if that 'Pink One' is there.
Getting himself under control, Alphius continued. "The Zoni are powerful creatures, capable of almost anything. But they are also hive-minds, and must be kept together for their energy to work. Inside the Temple is a vessel that will allow you to rescue lost Zoni and harness their bio energy. Follow me, and don't touch anything!"
Turning, Alphius opened the doorway to the temple. Much to Ratchet and Qwark's surprise, the pair found themselves levitated in Twilight's magic as she spread her wings, flapping to hover two feet off the ground.
Noticing this, Alphius rolled his eyes. "You may touch the floor," he corrected. "If that was a misconstrued attempt at respect, it is most appreciated. If it was an attempt at humor, it was not."
Chuckling nervously, Twilight returned all three to the ground before following Alphius into the Temple of Zon.
Inside was a room with three switches, followed by a sealed door. "We have to seal you inside until you recover the vessel," Alphius explained. "So...who's going in?"
"I'll go," Twilight offered. "I'm the most versatile." She moved up to the door, not waiting for anyone to countermand her.
Ratchet sighed. "Alright. Connect nav-units so we can stay in contact."
"I'll call you if I need any help!" Twilight promised as she stepped through the door once it opened.
"20 bolts says she doesn't call until she's got the vessel!" Qwark shouted as the door closed behind her.
Chuckling, Twilight made her way in.
The puzzles within the Temple were nothing Twilight hadn't faced before. It was relatively easy to evade the lasers of the first door to press the switch, and her wings made crossing the next chamber - more lasers aimed at the ground, rotating gears, and ground level flame throwers - an almost literal breeze. Beyond that was an open air chamber containing the vessel itself.
As she collected the vessel, two Zoni floated in, looking lost and forlorn. While at first Twilight grew angry, seeing the ones who had taken her Mommy, she let that feeling subside. Opening the vessel, she examined it, and discovered it emitted a signal of some sort on a very weak wavelength. "...it's a Zoni lifeboat," she murmured, focusing her magic on amplifying the signal.
As she gathered her magic for the spell, however, one of the Zoni kicked up some dust that got into her nostrils. Unable to stop herself, she sneezed, the reaction causing her to put a great deal more magical power into the spell than she'd intended.
A blaze of incandescent light focused in on the vessel from all across the known universe, blazing for a full five minutes until it ended, just before Twilight's spell fizzled. As the vessel sealed itself, Twilight examined it, her eyes wide.
"Twilight, what happened?" Ratchet called out through the nav-units.
"Uh...I found the vessel," Twilight began nervously. "And...I saw two Zoni. I...tried to guide them into the vessel magically...but I sneezed. The 'safety signal' amplification spell was...more powerful than I meant it to be, and...I've got a lot more than two Zoni safe inside here."
"How many more?" Qwark asked curiously.
"...according to the readout...117,000."
There was silence over the comms. "Twilight, I think you should get back here, now. Alphius just shouted something about 'the broken clock, the end of days' before fainting dead away."
Twilight nodded. "...right. The room's open air. I'll fly out."
"Also, the settlement appears to be under attack by someone," Qwark commented. "Might want to be careful."
"Then I'll go get Aphelion first to help!" Twilight proclaimed firmly, taking to the sky.
Ratchet and Qwark readied themselves for battle against the invading force. "Ready to let those stallions out of the stable?" he asked.
Qwark grinned widely, flexing his muscles. "I was born ready!"
A creature that appeared to be a green head inside a dome anchored to floating red armor teleported in behind Qwark. "Azimuth!" the creature barked.
"YAAAUGGGH!" Qwark screamed out in fear, spinning and nearly punching the creature's head off, only missing because it ducked under the swing before grabbing him in a manipulator arm and tossing him aside.
The creature then moved up towards Ratchet. "I believe Dr. Nefarious was clear as to the repercussions of leaving your hovel. The clock is ours."
Ratchet blinked a few times. "Three questions. One, who's Azimuth? Two, what Clock are you talking about? And three-" Reaching into his bag, Ratchet pulled out Twilight's RYNO-IV-EVER. "Tell me where Dr. Nefarious took Clank before I reduce you and everything under your command to slag."
The being blinked a few times. "...you are not Azimuth," it muttered, backing away slowly. "And that last...wasn't a question."
"That's because I don't do requests," Ratchet growled before pulling the trigger.
Twilight took a few deep breaths as she came in for a landing beside the column of frozen time in which Aphelion was trapped. She then opened the vessel. "Please...help her," she begged.
The massed Zoni swarmed out in a continuous stream to flow around Aphelion before flowing back into the vessel, completely obscuring Aphelion from view in the process. The entire time, they were chiming out different things in their high pitched voices.
"Save the ship!"
"Help her!"
"Do it!"
"We can make it!"
"Better!"
"Faster!"
"Stronger!"
As the Zoni all returned to the vessel, Aphelion was changed. Her wings had been restored, as had her canopy and engines...but all to a level Twilight could only begin to comprehend. The red metal had been replaced with a bright blue material that looked more like reactive energy than an actual substance. Weapons of all sorts could be seen barely hidden within the ship's superstructure. The canopy itself now contained a space that looked like it held its own pocket dimension somehow. And to top it off, Twilight could hear the hum of a self-contained quantum singularity powering the ship.
"...I am...online?" Aphelion asked, confused, her voice far clearer than before as she floated easily out of the time beam.
"Aunt Aphelion!" Twilight gasped happily, leaping into the cockpit. "I'm so glad you're all better...you have a swimming pool in here now?"
"I appear to have been upgraded...massively," Aphelion murmured softly. "Where is Ratchet?"
"He's trying to help the Fongoids!" Twilight began, only to lurch back as Aphelion gunned the engines. "Whoa! I'm not-"
All sense of movement faded within the cockpit. "I have engaged the inertial dampeners," Aphelion commented as she blazed towards one of the landing crafts.
Staring out the window, Twilight let out a startled gasp. "Aphelion! You're going to crash-"
A distinctive sound filled the air around and inside Aphelion as the nosecone unfolded into two arms, the wings into legs, armor surrounding the cockpit and a head at the front. An energy blade erupted from the right wrist of the ship-turned-mecha as it plunged straight through the landing craft, tearing it apart from the inside out as the other craft fled the planet.
When Twilight finally finished processing what had just happened, all she could do was squee.
The enemy forces did not last long being assaulted from above and below. Once they were all wiped out, Aphelion reverted to ship form, coming in for a gentle landing right in front of Ratchet. "Ratchet!" she called eagerly. "Are you alright?"
"I am, Aphelion," Ratchet replied, climbing up. "But that commander - the Fongoids called him Vorselon - kidnapped Qwark!"
"Then we're going to rescue him!" Twilight proclaimed. "Can you get his com-signal, Aphelion?"
"I'll have better luck once we leave the planet's gravity well," Aphelion explained. "The quantum disruption we experienced earlier is especially strong on this planet."
"Right," Ratchet agreed as he hopped into the cockpit. "...is that a sushi bar?"
"I have been massively upgraded," Aphelion replied easily. "Do not get any crumbs on my synth-leather seats."
Once out amongst the vastness of space, Ratchet waited until Aphelion proclaimed enough distance from temporal anomalies to attempt to lock onto Qwark's signal before activating the comms. "Qwark, come in! Do you read me?"
"It's good to hear from you, Dad," Qwark replied quietly. "They've got us in containment cells, and they're just inhumane!"
"What did they do to you?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"They're making me drink unfiltered tap water with the food!"
Ratchet slowly closed his eyes, covering his face with one hand. "Qwark...you drank river water when you lived with Skrunch's people."
"Well, yeah, but Florana's unsettled and undespoiled!" Qwark countered. "Do you have any idea how many chemicals they put in tap water?"
"Please activate your nav beacon so we may rescue you," Aphelion interrupted before the conversation could get even more inane.
"...which button is that again? Oh right, this one!"
Twilight smiled as Aphelion picked up the signal. "Hang on tight, BBBFF. We're on our way-"
"Just remember the Fongoids can't hold their breath as long as I can, okay Aunt Aphelion?" Qwark interrupted.
Aphelion sighed. "Fine," she grumbled. "We'll do this the boring way."
Twilight couldn't stop herself from giggling at that.
As they approached Vorselon's ship, 25 fighters flew out to engage them. "Can I, Ratchet?" Aphelion begged. "I won't be able to go into the ship with you!"
Sighing, Ratchet released the controls. "Go nuts!" he allowed.
Aphelion immediately gunned her engines, performing a strafing run with her primary laser weapons as she zipped through the cloud of fighters too fast for them to get a lock on her. Three enemy fighters went down from that first barrage. Aphelion then shot away along the z-axis, relatively above the group of fighters as she rolled before releasing a swarm of missiles, taking down five more. She then shot straight into the group again before shifting to her more humanoid configuration, deploying an energy blade on one arm and a blaster on the other. A quick dash let her slash three more, while four were shot clean through their cockpits. Seizing one of the remaining ten ships, she hurled it with a spin, causing it to slam into the remaining nine as they attempted to get her with a formation assault.
"Steeee-RIKE!" Ratchet shouted out, pumping his fist.
Reverting back to ship form, Aphelion chuckled. "That was fun!" she agreed. "I hope I get to fight more with you like that."
Aphelion came in for landing on one of the wings of Vorselon's warship. Ratchet and Twilight both deployed their space gear - O2 helmets, MagneGrind Boots Mark 2 with magnetic surface lock on tech to drag them to a distant magnetic - or merely ionized - surface, and low-yield weaponry to avoid tearing the ship apart. They made their way carefully past the ship's engines towards the main body of the ship, hoping they'd have good luck finding Qwark once inside, as Qwark wasn't able to provide very useful information regarding his present location.
The pair made their way through a tunnel into the ship itself, using the ionized walls to evade the security laser grids. They encountered few robotic enemies as they progressed, and were able to deal with them rapidly with their wrenches.
As they progressed, Vorselon could be heard making announcements regarding a rebel named Azimuth. Given a location bearing the same name on Fastoon, Twilight didn't need to be told Vorselon had mistaken Ratchet for Azimuth to know what it meant: there was another Lombax still alive.
"We'll be looking into that once we save Qwark, right?" Twilight asked.
"Certainly," Ratchet agreed.
When they were confronted by a swarm of security robots, Twilight discovered that Grummel-Net had an upgrade available for Mr. Zurkon, turning him into a full fledged weapon capable of leveling up. While Ratchet purchased this new option, Twilight applied it to Zurkon the Bearded...only to discover that it had gained enough experience already to unlock the first level upgrade, generating a second Zurkon type bot alongside Zurkon the Bearded...a female one called Zurkon the Clever.
"It is Zurkon the Bearded's turn to take out the organic trash," Zurkon the Clever piped up as they took form. "He is supposed to be demonstrating proper thaumaturgical vaporization techniques."
"Watch closely, my student," Zurkon the Bearded replied, and the pair of bots began vaporizing everything in range.
This new assistance easily cleared the path to the Central Hub...where they found a Holo-Plan fragment. "What's this?" Ratchet asked, confused.
Twilight examined it carefully. "It...looks like someone tried to reproduce my RYNO IV designs with rockets instead of energy blasts. I doubt it'd be as effective, but if the plans were dismantled like this, it must be effective."
"Then when it's assembled, I'll use it," Ratchet decided. "That way you won't leave me behind in the wanton destruction department."
It wasn't far beyond the central hub that the pair found their way to an elevator. "What floor, please?" the computer asked.
When Ratchet hesitated, Twilight stepped up. "Detention wing," she stated firmly.
The elevator closed, and took them down the shaft. This led them straight to where Qwark was being held, along with the Fongoids.
"I knew I could count on you!" Qwark proclaimed as the cells were opened. "Now we just need to release everyone else, and get out of here!" Qwark, being Qwark, immediately kicked a door down, setting off an alarm. "...Oops?" he offered lamely.
Thankfully, the new weaponry available was good for fighting inside a spaceship, and the enemy robotic foes were still rather weak. Clearing the path forward was tedious, but readily doable.
When they reached the last group of captured Fongoids, there was also an escape shuttle available. "Qwark!" Ratchet barked out. "You fly the shuttle with the Fongoids to safety. We'll open the door!"
"But what about you both?" Qwark asked worriedly.
"We'll get back to Aphelion!" Twilight replied quickly. "But you're the only one who can fly a shuttle this old full of civilians to safety! With you at the wheel, no blaster can hit you."
"...really?" Qwark asked, fear battling with swelling pride.
Ratchet grinned up at him. "Believe it!" he said proudly, giving him a thumbs up.
Once everyone leaving was in the escape shuttle, Ratchet opened the loading bay doors. Once the shuttle was safely away, Ratchet and Twilight made their way back out via the central hub. However, hearing Vorselon giving various orders to the computer, Ratchet knew they wouldn't make it out the normal way. "Aphelion!" Ratchet yelled into the comms. "They've blocked my escape route-"
"All friendlies are confirmed evacuated!" Twilight added.
"Understood!" Aphelion replied. "I'll meet you via the lower deck landing bay. I'll be there in 30 seconds!"
"Gotcha!" Ratchet confirmed.
As they took the elevator down towards the lower deck landing bay, the pair was confronted by Vorselon himself. "Pitiful creature!" he proclaimed. "You've meddled in Dr. Nefarious plans for the last-oomph!"
Interrupting his speech, Aphelion blasted her way into the lower central hub, canopy opening as she literally ran Vorselon over. "Hop in!" she proclaimed. "I've received news from Qwark. I have our next destination."
Ratchet nodded, the pair leaping into the cockpit. "So where we going?" Ratchet asked as Aphelion shot out of the larger ship.
"Torren IV," Aphelion replied. "In the Breegus System. It's where Alister Azimuth can be found. The Lombax Alister Azimuth."
Ratchet fell silent. "So...can you tell me anything about him?"
"I think you'll like what you'll be told more if you hear it from him," Aphelion replied. "But once he gets a good look at you, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."
"Set course, then," Ratchet directed.
"Setting course for the Vela Sector," Aphelion agreed.
Meanwhile...
With Nefarious repelled, Clank followed Sigmund around within the Great Clock, trying to figure out what it was, why he was there, and how to get back to Twilight. And, for that matter, all the other missing details of his memories.
"Here," Sigmund offered as they progressed, offering an unusual device. "It's a quantum actuator. It'll allow you to use the tech within the Great Clock to split into multiple selves in order to manipulate the various systems."
"A useful upgrade," Clank murmured, taking the device and inserting it into his chest compartment, where it was automatically assimilated into his systems. "Ooh, tingly!"
Following Sigmund's instructions, Clank was able to learn to use the new upgrade - and the Time Pads it was designed to interact with - to make his way past the various security systems. He was eventually led to Mnemonic Station Beta.
"Where is Orvus?" Clank asked, since Sigmund told him that he was going to meet him.
"He's in your head, of course!" Sigmund replied. "Locked away in a secret partition in your memory banks! Dr. Nefarious spent over a year trying to hack in-"
"A year?" Clank gasped out. "I've...I've been missing for a year? It's been that long since Twilight last saw me?"
"Umm...yes?" Sigmund offered. "I suppose so..."
"And the universe is still more or less in one piece?" Clank stroked his chin, then chuckled. "I guess she has learned self control, after all."
"That little pony grew up to be a real spitfire, huh?" Sigmund chuckled nervously.
Clank stared at Sigmund for a time, but eventually nodded. "I assume I'll eventually get the answer of how you know Twilight is a pony?" he asked as he stepped up towards the Mnemonic Chamber.
"O-of course!" Sigmund hastened to assure him. "Now we need to deactivate your neural safeguards and send you into your own subconscious. Hop in!"
Once in the chamber, Clank felt himself sink into his mind.
He found himself in a blank field of white and blue, flowing like water but solid like land. In the distance, metallic constructs could be seen, not quite discernible in detail. As he looked around, an elderly Zoni wearing a crystal topped hat appeared out of the ether. "Hello, XJ-0461!" the Zoni greeted. "And welcome to your subconscious. I am Orvus, and I've been anticipating your return for quite some time."
"I...do not understand," Clank replied. "Have I...been here before?"
The Zoni chuckled, the exact same chuckle Clank always gave. "You didn't think your soul came from a robot factory, did you?" the one calling himself Orvus replied. "I created you!" When Clank fell silent for a time, Orvus continued. "Oh, you must have a lot of questions-"
"I can introduce Twilight to her grandfather?" Clank asked eagerly.
Orvus stared at him. "...she really has claimed you, hasn't she?" he replied softly, and somehow sadly. "I'm afraid I can't answer too many of your questions right now - I'm not the actual Orvus, merely a fragment of a neural imprint here to guide you through this - but I do have a present for you." In a flash of light, a golden staff topped with rotating rings and blue lights appeared, floating down to Clank's hands. "Off we go! We have lots to do!"
Following the image of Orvus, Clank learned to use his new tool, the Chronoscepter, to manipulate time within his surroundings. He could use it to throw Time Bombs, that slowed down time in the range of the explosion until it faded. It could also be used to cause broken objects to repair themselves by swinging the scepter at the object. It could also be used to knock projectiles back at enemy targets that launched them...or just to bash heads in. Clank practiced on mental projections of Gleeman Vox, finding it rather cathartic.
"You've done wonderfully, my son," Orvus stated as he finished. "I know you're going to take good care of this place."
At that, Clank lowered the scepter. "Father...what happened to you?"
"...you aren't ready for that answer yet, XJ-0461," Orvus replied. "And I don't have the actual answer in my program. But...the program's only supposed to be activated in...certain circumstances. ...program terminated."
As Clank returned from within his mind, he stared at Sigmund. "What...what happened to my father?" he asked.
"...sorry, sir," Sigmund replied, opening a sealed capsule to reveal the Chronoscepter. "I'm...not allowed to tell you that yet."
"...I think I know," Clank whispered as he took the scepter. "The geas of being metallic. I have no tear ducts...but I must weep."
Clank moved onward, Chronoscepter in hand. The various security puzzles and the like proved little to no challenge for Clank's advanced brain. However, he moved through it in a halfhearted way. The puzzles didn't really hold his attention, nor did the enemies he had to deal with. Even Sigmund's antics barely registered for him.
"Sir?" Sigmund finally asked worriedly. "Are you alright?"
"Do you need to ask, Sigmund?" Clank replied. "Orvus - my father - is..."
"Well, he might not be dead, sir," Sigmund replied.
"Excuse me?" Clank asked, his eyes lifting in shock. "The program echo of him said that it would only activate in...certain circumstances. Doesn't that mean he's...dead?"
"Well, it could also mean he had to perform an Emergency Temporal Shift to some unknown future date," Sigmund explained. "He can do that, you know. All the fail-safes' activations mean is that Orvus isn't currently in existence at this point in this temporal continuum."
"So...he might still be alive, but so far in the future that I'll never meet him?" Clank asked.
"Or he might pop back into existence tomorrow!" Sigmund countered. "You just need to stay positive!"
Clank thought about that as he stepped forward into a large, open area. As he thought, a large mechanical contrivance floated by, releasing powerful blasts of sonic energy.
"Look out!" Sigmund shouted. "It's the Hypersonic Brainwave Scrambler!"
"It is no threat," Clank murmured as he hurled a Time Bomb straight at it.
"Are you sure?" Sigmund asked worriedly as the mechanical creation slowed in the time field.
Clank smirked as he extended his blaster arm and charged it. "I'm...positive," he confirmed as he fired.
The blast punched right through the glass shield covering the delicate circuitry of Nefarious' device, causing the whole thing to spiral out of control and explode.
"One Hypersonic Brainwave Scrambler...scrambled," Clank offered, before giving his classic chuckle.
"Nice one, sir!" Sigmund praised as the pair continued onward.
Meanwhile...
"Now entering Vela Sector," Aphelion spoke up as they reached the region of space they were headed for. "Qwark has sent a message stating that Azimuth lives in an abandoned mining robot in the Molonoth fields of Torren IV."
"Then what are we waiting for?" Ratchet demanded. "Set course!"
"He's doing great," Aphelion responded. "He's looking into ways to counteract Nefarious so you can get to Clank - wherever he is - unmolested."
"He's learned to be quite the team player," Ratchet murmured as he guided Aphelion into the atmosphere. "...proud of him."
Aphelion came in for easy landing amongst the stone pillars of the world. "Qwark's last message states that Alister Azimuth supposedly lives in the ruins of Vulgram Pass," Aphelion informed them.
"Any idea where that might be?" Twilight asked.
"Unfortunately, no," Aphelion replied. "But once you find it, I'll be able to meet you there."
"Alright," Ratchet agreed. "Let's see if a local can guide us."
The dry, rocky terrain posed no real problem for the pair as they made their way through. Ratchet was naturally adapted for such terrain - both from what Lombaxes were adapted to, and his life on Veldin - and the hot sun over flat rocks created thermals so strong Twilight had to consciously spill air almost constantly to keep from soaring up to where the air was too thin.
After climbing for a time, they encountered what was presumably a native. The being was short and squat, wearing so much equipment and carrying such a large pack that it was hard to tell if it was organic, robotic, or some sort of fusion of the two. "Greetings, Outsiders," it greeted warmly, its voice half synthesized as it passed through a grille on its face mask. "What brings you to Molonoth?"
"We're looking for Volgrom Pass," Ratchet replied quickly.
"Volgrom Pass?" the creature asked, shocked. "Surely peaceful adventurers such as yourselves-" He paused as Twilight giggled. "What?"
Twilight smirked up at Ratchet. "He called us peaceful!" she gasped out between giggles.
The native stared at them for a time. "It is just beyond the Hollow to the East. Ask the Guardian for entry. Please don't kill us."
"Not that unpeaceful!" Twilight complained, pouting.
Chuckling, Ratchet led the way east.
After making their way past a few robotic enemies who fell too fast to their arsenal to be clearly identified beyond their Nav Units recognition of them as hostile, the pair found their way to a massive metal head, empty on the inside but still able to turn to speak to them. "Halt, outsiders! What business have you in the Hollow?"
"We're looking for Volgrom Pass!" Ratchet called back.
The head seemed to grow pensive. "Volgrom Pass?" its voice echoed. "Where the exile dwells? It is beyond this Hollow, but we do not grant entrance to outsiders. They must find it for themselves."
As the head became inactive, Ratchet sighed and led the way away, seeking another path.
"Ratchet, Twilight," Aphelion called over the comms. "Qwark informs me he is attempting to make contact with the Agoreans, who - apparently - hate Nefarious."
"...we're going to have to rescue him, aren't we?" Twilight asked.
"Likely," Ratchet confirmed.
After making their way through a short obstacle course, the pair found their way past the 'Guardian' head, and were granted entrance to the Hollow. Entering, they found a city of the natives that was somewhat orderly...except for the fact that their primary power source - small critters referred to as battery bots - were racing around out of their sockets, refusing to power the city. They were informed that, until the bots were back in their sockets, entrance to Volgrom Pass was impossible.
"Can I make this quick, Daddy?" Twilight asked hopefully.
"Go right ahead," Ratchet replied.
Grinning, Twilight took to the air, focusing her magic. Locking on to each and every battery bot as she flew through the facility, she seized them all in her telekinesis before sticking each in their sockets, restoring the city to full functionality. While Twilight did that, Ratchet stopped by a Grummel-net vendor to purchase a new weapon - The Dynamo of Doom - for each of them.
With the city once more fully operational, the residents were happy to guide Ratchet and Twilight to the entrance of Volgrom Pass. Volgrom Pass itself was, at first, the same as the area before the Hollow, with nothing distinctive to mark it as different, save the occasional metal wall construction blocking the canyon path.
Before too long, the pair came to a large, abandoned mining robot. Near the head, a Lombax silhouette could be made out, and the shifting of light revealed grey fur, red stripes, lightweight armor, and a vaguely wrench-like weapon.
"Excuse me!" Ratchet shouted out, getting the figure's attention. "Hi! Do you know where I can find Alister Azimuth?"
The figure hurled an explosive device at Ratchet, only for it to be surrounded in a lavender aura and be launched right back at the figure. "How rude," Twilight grumbled as the figure raced off. Ratchet and Twilight took off in pursuit, Ratchet leaping onto a grind rail, Twilight into the air.
"You've lost the element of surprise!" the figure shouted at them as he raced ahead on some sort of hover shoes. "Killing me won't be so easy!"
"If we wanted you dead, I'd have pulled out my RYNO!" Twilight shouted back. "We just want to talk!"
"Lies!" the figure shouted back. "You're here to assassinate me! Who sent you? Vorselon? Nefarious? Figures they lack the spine to kill me themselves!"
"Considering neither of them has a spine anymore..." Ratchet pointed out jokingly as he leapt from rail to rail.
"Is this really the time for jokes, Dad?" Twilight grumbled, rolling her eyes.
"Well, reasonable discourse isn't working," Ratchet pointed out bluntly.
"Your foolish behavior will not lower my guard, as amusing as it is!" the figure shouted back.
"Look at me!" Ratchet shouted out. "I'm a Lombax!"
"The Lombaxes are gone!" the figure roared back angrily. "And I know a hologuise when I see one!"
Twilight groaned. "Aphelion!" she shouted out.
Aphelion zipped into the air over them. "Did you need me to shoot something?" she asked, lowering down to fly alongside Ratchet.
"Aphelion?" the figure gasped in shock, only to charge in. "What have you done to my brother's ship!" he roared in anger, knocking Ratchet off the grind rails and pinning him to a stone wall over a narrow rock platform to the side of the chasm...only to blink his eyes. "...Kaden? But you're...no, those are Vashiir's eyes...you're his son..." He stepped back, falling to his knees. "Forgive me. General Alister Azimuth, Four-Bolt Magistrate of the Lombax Praetorian Guard, Elder Councilman for the Center for Advanced Lombax Research." He then smiled widely as Ratchet got back to his feet. "And you, my dear boy, look just like your father..."
"Why'd you refer to Kaden as your brother?" Twilight asked, confused. "Aphelion's paperwork said he didn't have siblings."
"He didn't," Alister confirmed. "But we were very close friends...as close as brothers."
Twilight gasped happily. "Uncle!" she shouted out, glomping onto Alister.
"Umm..." Azimuth began nervously.
"Well, Great Uncle, actually," Twilight corrected. "Ratchet's my Daddy!"
The elder Lombax glanced between the two of them. "Ratchet...who did you wed?"
"My Mommy's a robot named Clank!" Twilight proclaimed happily. "But it might also be a Cazar named Sasha...or a Lombax named Angela Cross-"
"Lorna's daughter?" Alister interrupted, shocked.
"-or a Markazian named Talwyn Apogee-"
"Max's daughter?" Alister chuckled as he looked at Ratchet. "None of that explains how you sired a pony, dear boy."
"She's adopted," Ratchet explained, rolling his eyes.
Alister Azimuth chuckled. "You are...so very much your father's son."
Ratchet smiled up at him. "I...I have so many questions..."
"Tell me everything!" Ratchet demanded eagerly as the group returned to Alister's little residence at the top of the defunct mining robot. "How did the two of you meet? What was my dad like when he was younger? How did my parents meet? How did he become friends with so many different people? How did he start working on all these-"
"Whoa, whoa!" Alister interrupted. "Easy there, Ratchet. That's a lot of questions, and I only have so many answers." He sighed a little sadly. "It's...it's been a long time. And...as fond as the memories are, some have faded a bit." Seeing Ratchet, Twilight, and Aphelion's disappointment, he sighed. "Alright, I'll try..."
He leaned back, letting his mind reach into his foggy past. "Your father was brilliant, even as a child. He used to brag that his parents found it impossible to contain him, since he could dismantle his play pens and turn them into mobile walkers with just his binky and a well sucked candy. Despite that, he wasn't very physically fit until he reached his late teens. But one thing that stood out for everyone who knew him...as we put it, the only thing stronger than his brain was his heart. Friends, family, strangers...if there was someone in trouble or needing help, he wouldn't leave until he'd tried to help them." He chuckled softly. "The only thing more frustrating for those of us who called him friend than that part of him was the fact that he usually succeeded.
"We first became friends...when we were about six," Alister explained. "I'd gotten a bit...reckless with my father's hoverboots, and found myself trapped at the bottom of a cliff. He stumbled across me, and scaled down to ask me what was wrong." He chuckled rather fondly at that. "Of course, then we were both trapped at the bottom of a cliff. But he managed to supercharge the boots to get us both to the top...where our folks found us, and we both got in trouble for recklessness and burning out the boots. We became fast friends ever since."
"Yeah, definitely sounds like something you'd do, Daddy," Twilight said happily.
"I really do need to learn to look before I leap, don't I?" Ratchet agreed, rubbing Twilight's upturned head.
"And that's why looking after you is so stressful," Aphelion grumbled.
Laughing, Alister continued. "As for Vashiir...we met her in secondary education, about equivalent to what the rest of the galaxy calls 'middle school'. Kaden was still a bit physically limited, so he struggled in the more physical aspects of the curriculum...but even though he could have chosen to drop those and specialize in the academic, he wanted to stick with me, so I helped him get through it. Vashiir was at the complete opposite end of the social ladder from us. Top of the physical classes, the most popular girl in the school, but she struggled a bit with her academics relative to the other students...not that she'd let that slow her down. If there's one thing she was - other than beautiful - she was stubborn.
"The three of us were actually born to the lower echelons of Lombax society," Alister explained, "but your level in society was based on your talents, not your birth. All three of us were determined to climb all the way to the top...and when Kaden freely offered to tutor her without asking for anything in return, she stuck with us just to figure him out."
"Sounds a lot like most of your girls, Daddy!" Twilight offered with a laugh.
"Eh...not really," Ratchet responded, not quite agreeing with her.
"Funny you should say that, though," Alister commented to Twilight. "When Kaden finally got his growth spurt, he turned into a total chick magnet. I can't count the number of times Vashiir and I would be talking about some assignment or other in Tertiary school - high school - and Kaden would charge into the dorm room the three of us shared, dive under his bed, and beg us to 'keep the crazy chicks away from him'!"
Twilight and Aphelion burst into peals of laughter. Ratchet found himself feeling nervous, trying not to imagine what it would be like if Angela, Sasha, and Talwyn decided they wanted to share him...only to learn they weren't interested in taking turns.
As Alister started to take a drink, Twilight spoke up. "So at what point in Kaden and Vashiir's courtship did you get over your unrequited crush on her?" She quickly raised a magical shield to deflect the spray.
Alister coughed a bit, then set his cup down. "We have more important things to talk about," he stated firmly. "The fate of the entire universe hangs in the balance." He stood up, moving to a shelf where various objects were set.
"Kaden was the first Outsider to theorize the existence of the Great Clock," Alister explained, pulling out an old parchment. He unrolled it to reveal some old runes and their translations. "'Clock' being a crude translation of the runes on Quantos, as they actually mean 'Keeper of Time'. Since the Fongoids - who know more about the Zoni than anyone - refer to them as the Guardians of Time..."
"Then you think the Zoni took Mommy to the Great Clock?" Twilight asked, surprised. On the way back, Aphelion had given Alister the Cliff Notes version of their reasons for being in the system.
"If Clank's connected to them, he must play some part in its operation," Alister agreed, returning to a large chest where he began fishing around for something.
"...Vorselon said something about how the Clock was theirs," Ratchet murmured. "And we saw that the Zoni brought Nefarious to 'repair' Clank..."
"Then we'll need to go fast if we're to save your friend," Alister replied firmly. "And the universe as we know it. And for a Lombax, there's only one way to go fast." Grinning, he tossed Ratchet a pair of boots. "Your father's hoverboots. Ready for your first lesson-"
"No, Twilight!" Ratchet scolded, glaring down at Twilight's pouting begging face. "You may not take them apart to study how they work or try and combine them with the magne-grind boots. Make a duplicate and experiment with that."
"Okay!" Twilight agreed happily, using her magic to duplicate the circuitry of the hoverboots before taking them into Aphelion to study their workings.
Alister stared after her. "...how is it she takes after Kaden almost more than you do?" he asked.
"We were well matched," Ratchet offered lamely. "So...about that lesson?"
After a bit of instruction in how to properly carry himself while wearing the Hoverboots, Ratchet followed Alister on the course he'd set up to fully test him with the new gadget. He discovered that the extra speed it gave him allowed him to crash through some obstacles, although the only weapon he could safely wield while using them was his wrench. There were also any number of devices that seemed designed for use with the hoverboots for added mobility, like kickpads he could leap off of. He was certain Twilight would question why such things were scattered about when only Lombaxes used Hoverboots, but he privately thought the devices might have been set up at all points by Alister himself, and ignored by those who didn't understand their purpose.
"Well done," Alister praised as Ratchet finished the course first try. "You're a faster learner than your father when it comes to these things. You must get that from your mother. Come on, I have one final test set up this way!"
The next course had flares scattered along it to test Ratchet's speed and control. Alister had just enough time to explain Ratchet had to collect them all in under a minute before Ratchet was off. Much to Alister's surprise, Ratchet accomplished it in 30 seconds. "Amazing!" he proclaimed, completely astounded. "How did you get so good at maneuvering like that?"
"When I first adopted Twilight, she was about this size and could fly and shoot lasers from her horn," Ratchet explained, demonstrating the size with his hands. "Trying to catch her when she was feeling energetic was good practice for a lot of my adventures."
"I can well imagine," Alister chuckled. "She's been a real handful growing up, then?"
"Worth every moment," Ratchet confirmed, smiling proudly. At that point, the Hoverboots shorted out, and Ratchet staggered to balance himself.
"Ion coils might be a bit rusty," Alister pointed out. "But you'll get used to them." He hesitated. "Just...how old is Twilight, exactly?"
"Well, I don't know how old she was exactly when she arrived beyond 'infant'," Ratchet replied, "but we celebrate that day as her birthday, and she's 15 now."
"But...but then you couldn't have been more than ten when you adopted her!" Alister burst out, stunned.
"Still worth it."
Alister shook his head in amazement.
"So what's our next goal?" Ratchet asked. "Storm Nefarious' fortress and hook his head up to Aphelion's Zoni-upgraded circuitry so she can strip his mind for the location of the Clock?"
Alister stared at Ratchet. "...I genuinely didn't expect such a vicious plan from you," he admitted.
"Twilight wants her Mommy back," Ratchet grunted, pounding his fist into his palm.
Alister nodded in understanding. "Still, Nefarious would be foolish to provide any means for us to extract the Clock's location from him. But we have an advantage I did not before."
"Twilight?" Ratchet offered.
"Well...her too," Alister admitted. "And you for that matter. But the real advantage...a contact inside the clock."
"You have a way to communicate with Clank?" Ratchet demanded eagerly. "Tell me how!"
"Not here, not yet," Alister cautioned. "We need to make sure it will work first." He gently tapped a device on the front of his armor. "Meet me in Axiom City, on Planet Terachnos."
As the General's ship rose - the same fighter model as Aphelion had been pre-Zoni upgrade, but plainly not an AS - Aphelion shot into the air near them, Twilight hopping out, levitating a new set of boots. "Behold, the Omniboots!" she proclaimed proudly. "By applying grinders to either side of the hover jets of the hover boots that automatically deploy in the presence of a grind rail, lining the entire boot with material that can become magnetized when properly energized, and boosting the power source to a Mark 7 micro-generator instead of the ZZX model it had which was equivalent to a Mark 5, I have incorporated the functions of all types of boot gadgets into these!" She smiled widely at Ratchet. "I can give your boots the upgrade while replacing the ion coils with fresh ones. If they're anything like the duplicates I made to study from, they've gotten a little degraded over time."
Alister stared at Twilight, completely poleaxed. "...maybe I was mistaken about the order of the new advantages..." he murmured.
"It's been ten minutes, Twilight," Ratchet joked. "What took you so long?"
As Alister turned to stare at Ratchet, his jaw somewhat hanging, Twilight replied, "I had to take a potty break in the middle, but I couldn't find it! Aphelion's too big inside now!"
"...you're not kidding?" Alister asked, stunned. "She encountered brand new tech she's never known before, fully analyzed it, and upgraded it while incorporating other kinds of tech in ten minutes...and that's not amazing?"
"Not for her," Ratchet admitted modestly. "Though I'm half surprised she hasn't upgraded it to also be a weapon-"
"And the boosters can be activated while kicking to add the force of the jets to the blow!" Twilight piped up.
"There we go!" Ratchet praised.
Alister was torn between two warring impulses in his mind. The first was to back away slowly, jump into his ship, and get as far away from the pair as possible before Twilight got ahold of the Great Clock and rewrote the laws of reality. The second impulse eventually won out, however. "...can I get those upgrades?"
After giving Alister the upgrades to his hover boots to turn them into Omniboots - and convincing him to let her examine his wrench/lance/zapper - Twilight hopped into Aphelion alongside Ratchet, while Alister took his own ship. "I understand the logic of two ships taking two different paths being harder to track than one," Twilight admitted, "but his ship could fit inside Aphelion!"
"Are you calling me fat?" Aphelion demanded jokingly.
"No, just dimensionally advantaged," Twilight corrected with a wide grin.
Ratchet rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Let's just get to Planet Terachnos."
"Ratchet, Twilight, come in!" Alister's voice spoke up suddenly. "I've keyed into your Nav Unit so we can communicate!"
"Are you sure the signal's secure?" Twilight asked in concern.
"Of course," Alister replied. "No one would be stupid enough to try and mess with the Nav Unit signal, making it the perfect secure communications."
"So what's in Axiom City?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"A company called Pollyx industries," Alister explained. "Nefarious hired them to locate Zoni technology. They keep a database of every Obsidian Eye in the universe."
"We used one to see Mommy inside the Great Clock!" Twilight gasped out. "Another one closer to him would be able to lock onto his exact location for communication!"
"With luck, that's exactly what's going to happen," Alister confirmed. "But first, we need to find out where they are. Pollyx won't let us just waltz into the building-"
"You sure?" Ratchet asked. "Not even for a visiting super-genius, galactic superhero, holo-vid star, and glide board champion?"
Alister chuckled. "Well, they might for all that. But where are you going to find a group like that who won't spill the beans?"
"I call him Daddy," Twilight piped up.
"...seriously?" Alister asked, stunned. "How did you manage all that at your age?"
"Adorable sells better than sex," Twilight replied jokingly. "I'm also a three time battle arena champion. Would that help?"
"...in that case, you may be too famous," Alister pointed out. "You making an official visit to Pollyx industries would make news throughout the sector, and Nefarious would know what we were up to."
"Wow," Ratchet joked. "Never thought your adorable success would come back to bite you, Twi."
"Curse my eternal cuteness!" Twilight proclaimed angrily. "It forces me to vigilantism instead of politeness! ...actually, I think I like it better that way. Zurkon the Bearded and Mrs. Zurkon the Clever can help blast our way in."
Alister was silent for a time. "Ratchet, how terrified should I be right now?" he finally asked.
"As long as you stay out of the line of fire, not very," Ratchet reassured him. "Everything's going to be fine...Uncle."
Alister coughed a couple of times, clearing his throat. "Try to keep a bit more disciplined, Ratchet," he chided gently. "This is a military operation now. Azimuth out!"
Laughing, Aphelion set the course for Terachnos and hit the boosters.
Once they landed in the midst of the delicately rising skyscrapers of Axiom city, Ratchet once more opened his communicator. "General, come in," he called out. "We just landed in Axiom City. Where are you?"
"I'm afraid I ran into a bit of trouble," Azimuth replied. "I've had to make a slight adjustment to our plan."
"What...kind of adjustment?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"Attention citizens!" the city's Public Address System announced. "Rogue Lombax Alister Azimuth spotted within city limits. Troopers have been mobilized for your protection."
"Oh," Twilight grumbled. "That kind."
"Don't worry, I have a plan!" Azimuth hastened to explain. "Just get to Neurox Plaza and wait for me to make contact."
With nothing else to do, Ratchet and Twilight began making their way through the city. The Terachnoids themselves that they spotted were pink aliens with four crab-like legs, immense heads, and spindly bodies supported by customized technological prosthetics. The buildings all soared into the skies, and wide skyroads divided the paths, bridged by Swingshot targets and the occasional hover boot jump ramp.
As they made their way through, they came across a Grummel-net vendor with a new weapon available, Tesla Spikes. This was a mine-like weapon which created electrical fields between the spikes once planted. Ratchet and Twilight each bought one as they made their way through. The armor vendor also had a new armor system available for use, which they both got customized to their bodies.
One particular Terachnoid seemed particularly miffed about their presence, though. "Another Lombax?" he grumbled in a high pitched voice. "Typical! Who do you think you are, hoverbooting over everything in sight like it's your own personal playground?"
"He's my Daddy," Twilight offered, stepping between Ratchet and the Terachnoid. When she opened her mouth again, the language that came out was not one Ratchet understood...but apparently, the Terachnoid did, as he responded in kind. After a time, she turned back to Ratchet. "Azimuth went to the starport," she explained, pointing off towards a particular jump ramp.
"Umm...?"
"I speak Terachnoid," Twilight explained. "That cleared up quite a bit. He's going to be spreading the word around in Terachnoid code that we're the good guys, so we should get a bit of a helping tendril from the civilians."
Ratchet and Twilight carefully made their way through Axiom City. Ratchet made his way through the various streets with a combination of hoverboot jumps and swingshot targets, while Twilight made her way on her own wings. They spotted some of Vorselon's robots giving some of the locals a hard time, and didn't hesitate to blast them to pieces, which was much appreciated by said locals.
Following directions, they eventually found their way to the spaceport. Two Terachnoids approached them, at first looking belligerent...until Twilight stepped forward, at which point they became much more pleasant and...almost fannish. Twilight talked with the pair for a time in Terachnoid, and then Twilight turned back to Ratchet. "Alister did some damage on his way through while fighting Vorselon's robots. The defense grid activated, and they're completely trapped here until the reboot switches are activated."
"So which of us is going to take care of that?" Ratchet asked.
Smirking, Twilight closed her eyes, her horn glowing. On the other side of the security grid, the reboot switch triggered, resetting the system and dropping the security grid.
"Hmm," one of the Terachnoids murmured. "We'll need to submit that security hole in the next report to Pollyx Industries. Telekinetic abilities do ignore a great deal of present security."
"They won't do anything about it," the other countered as they made their way out. "There are only three recorded individuals in the trans-galactic census with abilities of that sort - outside the mythical Zoni - and of the three, one is the go to fix-it of the universe, and another has the highest IQ ever recorded on the Terachnoid scale..."
Ratchet's eyes widened. "That second one was you, wasn't it?" he asked.
Twilight blushed. "Uh...yeah, kinda..."
"How does that work, anyway?" Ratchet asked as they continued onward.
"Well, it analyzes an individuals ability to absorb and utilize new information, and adapt to an excess of information," Twilight explained. "It's scored out of 10,000 - a hundred hundreds - for predicted perfect cerebral potentia. Even robots rarely score over 5000, and most non-terachnoids can't even get to 1500."
"Where do Terachnoids usually score?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"Anywhere between 7000 and 8500," Twilight replied evasively.
"...and you?"
Twilight blushed. "...well, at first they thought the score was 1006, until they realized the printout was upside down."
Ratchet decided not to say anything as they hitched a ride in a transport tube to Neurox Plaza.
When they got to the end of the transport tube, Alister contacted them. "I'm in position, but Pollyx has increased security around the entire Plaza."
"Why would Pollyx help Nefarious?" Ratchet asked, confused. "He's not a robot."
"For the same reason Vorselon is, probably," Alister replied. "To use the Clock for his own purposes."
"Well, Mommy's not about to let them do that!" Twilight proclaimed firmly. "So we've got some time to work with."
"Not too much," Azimuth countered. "We have no idea what Nefarious or his allies have planned. I have to go. Call me as soon as you reach the Plaza."
With the communication cut, the pair made their way through the city. It didn't take long for them to reach the Plaza itself, where they found Azimuth already engaged in battle with the invading robots. Even before he could speak up, Ratchet and Twilight had opened fire on the robots.
"You got here just in time!" Azimuth shouted happily. "Time to see what you're like in combat!"
"You'd better look fast!" Twilight shouted back, dashing through the attacking robots while lashing them with her magic, splitting them into pieces.
Azimuth stared at the carnage, then smirked. "Not bad, you two," he complimented. "Time to get into contact with my man on the inside."
"You know someone working for Nefarious?" Ratchet asked surprised.
"Actually, he's a data miner for Pollyx," Azimuth corrected. "I saved him from becoming food for the Agorians."
While Azimuth's plan seemed to be going well, someone managed to get on his contact's trail. The data miner, Jarvis, worked to find a workaround with Twilight's help, while Ratchet and Azimuth fought off Nefarious' forces.
"Hang on a minute!" Twilight shouted out. "We just need the list of Obsidian Eyes, right?"
"That's what we're here for, yes!" Azimuth shouted back.
"Then why do we need to break into the facility?" she demanded. "Couldn't Jarvis just send us the file?"
"Actually, I can," Jarvis replied. "That's standard information for all employees. The only one not under Pollyx Industries control is in Krell Canyon on Planet Lumos. Can't give you anything more specific than that. ...also, Nefarious is sending a super-mech after you."
"Aphelion!" Twilight shouted into her communicator. "Super-mech incoming! Trash it!"
"I'm coming in!" Aphelion replied, diving in to fight.
Ratchet shifted over to Azimuth's side as Aphelion shifted to mecha mode - much to Alister's amazement - and engaged the incoming automaton. "I can't believe neither of us thought of that."
"I did, actually," Azimuth responded.
"Then why not do that?"
Alister glanced away, gripping his lance. "I remembered how much Kaden and I enjoyed assaulting a fortified position like this together...and since this place belonged to one of Nefarious' allies, I figured there was no harm in blasting our way in. And...it would give us a chance to bond. I...have been without contact of my own kind for so long. I can't imagine what it must be like to have never known one of your own kind growing up. I...at least wanted to give you this, the two of us fighting side by side."
Smiling, Ratchet patted Azimuth on the shoulder. "I appreciate it," he replied softly. "How about we take on Krell Canyon together?"
Azimuth smiled. "I'd like that."
"Can you give me a bigger challenge next time?" Aphelion called out. "This one went down too easily..."
Azimuth stared out at the wreck of the giant assault robot Nefarious had dispatched against them. "...if those two leave anything for us," he offered jokingly, startling a laugh out of Ratchet.
As Ratchet and Azimuth set their separate courses to the Korthos Sector, Clank continued to explore the Great Clock with Sigmund as his guide, using the Chronoscepter to repair any damaged section he came across. The first stop was the orientation room, which was basically a massive movie room. A massive screen with all the controls, and a comfortable sofa directly across from it. "All this...just for orientation?" he murmured.
"Not entirely," Sigmund admitted. "Orvus also used it to...observe your history. When Twilight arrived, time itself became unknown and difficult to plan for. Since, unlike before her arrival, he had no idea what would happen, he would come here to observe events as they happened."
Clank blinked in surprise. "He...was watching over me?"
"Over all of you," Sigmund confirmed. "I...I've never seen him sadder than...when he watched what happened on Umbris. He said it was necessary, though. That...all other paths led to...greater darkness."
"I...see," Clank murmured, not wanting to think about that part of his life just then. It had been...painful to see Twilight so emotionally crushed, and it brought back other memories of the harsher points of Twilight's life.
The orientation film that played proved to be a home made film, with Orvus explaining the purpose of the Great Clock. Apparently, long ago the fabric of space time became so badly damaged in a tiny point it threatened to end the whole universe. The Great Clock was built to both contain the tear and keep time moving normally throughout the universe.
"That's...incredible," Clank murmured. "And...I'm responsible for the Great Clock now?"
"Once you complete your training, yeah," Sigmund confirmed. "Now you know why Orvus kept it such a secret."
Clank stroked his chin in thought. "I find myself...somewhat conflicted," he spoke up. "Clearly this station needs expert tending, and someone who can handle anything imaginable, and probably many things that can't be imagined. The first person I think of along those lines is Twilight Sparkle. She would probably have this station in peak operating conditions before she'd been on station a full hour."
"I've seen her work while Orvus was watching," Sigmund agreed. "She's certainly impressive."
"But on the other hand...do you even want to imagine what would happen if you gave her the keys to time itself?"
"Though she has grown more responsible with her experimentations-"
"What if she tries to cast her duplication spell on the Great Clock itself to experiment with the duplicate?" Sigmund countered.
"...I take it there being two Great Clocks would be bad?" Clank asked worriedly.
"No idea!" Sigmund countered emphatically. "And I don't wanna find out!"
Nodding in agreement, Clank hopped into the nearby Mnemonic Station for another lesson from the Orvus program in his mind.
The lesson within his mind this time was in using the Scepter to manipulate some of the Clock's functions. Its primary function was to 'maintain temporal normality', and that wasn't always the case. Scattered throughout the clock were planet representations, each of which would manifest as any planet undergoing temporal anomalies. The scepter could be used at those stations to neutralize the anomalies, restoring time to normal.
There was one last message left for him at the end of the lesson. "I'm very proud of you, Clank. And now you're ready for the task ahead. Go forth and fix time. Save the universe. When you're ready, my chamber will be waiting. Program terminated."
With the lesson concluded, Clank made his way forward under Sigmund's guidance. As he moved on, he found he had a question. "Sigmund, what is...the chamber?"
"Ah, the Orvus Chamber," Sigmund breathed, awe and pride in his voice. "That's the main control hub of the entire facility. It's also the most secure. I've never been inside it myself...but I hear it holds a master switch for temporal manipulation!"
"Intriguing," Clank murmured, entering one of the planet chambers the Orvus program had told him about. The first planet he had to work on was Quantos. Cleansing the anomalies proved rather straightforward, once the invading parasitic creatures were dealt with.
Two more planets awaited his repairs a good distance away. The first was Torren IV. Repairs there went just as smoothly as it did in the previous planet chamber. The final planet requiring attention, Terachnos, was only somewhat more challenging.
With the last planet in need of attention repaired for now, Clank made his way back to Sigmund, where he spotted Sigmund watching an old recording from Orvus, which proclaimed he was going to be at the Tombli Outpost on Zanifar, a trip that Orvus apparently didn't expect to be gone long for...but from the way Sigmund behaved, was obviously the last time the Zoni Elder had been seen.
Deciding that what he needed to do most at the moment was cheer Sigmund up, he voiced an inquiry that had occurred to him while he'd worked. "Sigmund, why was it that the temporal repair procedure seemed like...some sort of minigame?"
"Oh, that was my idea!" Sigmund proclaimed proudly, managing to hide his distress most impressively. "I suggested to Orvus that work would be so much more enjoyable if it could be turned into fun, to the point you didn't even realize you were doing work! He liked the idea so much, he not only turned all the repair procedures into minigame-like procedures, but changed all the security systems into time puzzles!"
Clank narrowed his eyes. "So I have you to thank for those temporal echo conundrums lining my path through this place?"
"You're welcome!" Sigmund replied happily.
Clank rolled his eyes, but was pleased that he'd succeeded in cheering up his new friend.
As Aphelion entered the Korthos Sector, she gave an alert to Ratchet and Twilight. "There are hostile ships approaching," she informed them. "Should I give them a chance to state their business, or can I just obliterate them?"
"Let's hear them out, shall we?" Ratchet suggested, rolling his eyes. "If only so we know what to mark down in your score card."
"Affirmative!" Aphelion agreed, much to Twilight's amusement.
The comm screen came on, revealing beings that rather closely resembled Helga, but dressed for Wagnerian Opera as best as Twilight could tell. "Well well well!" the first, garbed in golden armor, greeted warmly. "What do we have here?"
"Looks like this Lombax is lost!" the second, garbed in blue, added, her voice just as sweet as the first.
"What do you say, girls?" the third, garbed in green armor, spoke in a more masculine voice. "Should we help him find his way?"
"That'd be great!" Twilight piped up. "Which way to Planet Lumos?"
"Aww...look at that adorable tyke!" the green armored being proclaimed happily.
Twilight looked back flat eyed. "I'm 16," she grumbled petulantly.
At that point, the figures engaged in inter-ship communication, and two of the craft peeled off to go after Azimuth. "General!" Ratchet called into his communicator. "We've got hostile ships inbound."
"I see them!" Azimuth replied. "They are Valkyries-"
"Were," Aphelion corrected as she shifted to mech mode and tore the larger ship in half straight down the middle, shifting back to ship mode to shoot away, leaving the two halves to explode.
"...I'm going to just focus on losing the ones pursuing me," Azimuth replied. "Just to let you know, they work for Nefarious, so you'll likely encounter them again. I'll meet you on Planet Lumos."
"Roger!" Ratchet agreed, leaning back in his seat. "Aphelion, how far to Planet Lumos?"
"Approximately 30 minutes at cruising speed," Aphelion replied.
"I'm going to take a quick shower before we get there, then," Ratchet stated, standing up. "And you should grab a bath, Twilight. We're both getting a little ripe."
"I didn't want to say anything, Daddy," Twilight replied teasingly.
"Incoming transmission from Captain Qwark!" Aphelion interrupted.
"What is it, BBBFF?" Twilight asked quickly.
"I'm in a bit of trouble," Qwark replied. "The Agorians somehow got the idea that I was a thrill seeking warrior with a thirst for battle!"
"Did you tell them you were?" Ratchet asked chidingly as Twilight giggled.
"I was just trying to make friends!" Qwark complained. "But now they've got me in their tournament, and I don't think I can do this!"
"Qwark, you can do anything physical you put your mind to!" Twilight scolded. "Even the physically impossible. What could they possibly throw at you that you can't handle?"
"Have you seen these locker rooms?" Qwark whined. "Skrunch wouldn't even throw his poo at it, it's so unsanitary! And the drinks are tap water, and the food is army reserve K Rations from their pre-space age!"
"We'll get you out of there as soon as we can," Ratchet promised. "Just find someplace to hide until we get there."
"Message received!" Qwark replied. "Qwark out!"
"Setting course for Agorian Battleplex!" Aphelion chimed in.
"Let's wait on shower and bath till after, shall we?" Twilight suggested delicately.
"I get the feeling we'll really need it by the time we're done," Ratchet agreed.
Once in the Battleplex, Twilight and Ratchet both quickly realized that it was yet another battle tournament, much like any other they'd faced throughout their journeys. They immediately began placing bets with each other over whether or not anything in them would be at all challenging. "At least it's a bit more impressive than the others were," Twilight commented as they entered the well decorated lobby.
The pair moved up to the Gladiator entrance to compete, stopping just long enough to hit the Grummel-net vendor to acquire Groovitron Gloves, the upgrade to the Groovitron gadget, turning it into a weapon that could also level up.
The Agorian audience seemed to find the pair laughable as they entered to fight. Ratchet and Twilight exchanged grins, both looking forward to making them reconsider that opinion.
The challenges proved just as easy as the pair expected. The first two challenges involved defeating five waves of enemies in different conditions, neither of which being at all problematic for Ratchet or Twilight. The third challenge involved defeating ten Agorian enemies with their own bombs. Ratchet actually brought a beach chair in to relax on while Twilight took care of that with her telekinesis, just for the show of it. The fourth challenge involved dealing with sinking platforms; Ratchet climbed onto Twilight's back, and the pair gave new meaning to the challenge's name, "Death From Above".
The final challenge was where they found Qwark waiting for them. "There you guys are!" he proclaimed happily as he saw them. "Let's give them a real show of what the Sparkle clan can do!"
Chuckling and rolling their eyes in sync, Ratchet and Twilight nodded as they prepped their weapons.
With the three waves down, the announcers proclaimed one last challenge. "And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...it's time for the War Grok!"
The War Grok turned out to be a massive four legged beast that seemed to be a cross between King Kong and a rhinoceros. Turning to the trio after callously casting aside the Agorian that had been holding its leash, it let out a roar, spraying saliva all over the place.
Twilight promptly hurled a strange cylinder into its mouth. The creature's mouth instinctively snapped shut on it, starting to chew. Not long after, it started panting happily.
"You were just hungry, weren't you?" Twilight cooed, climbing up onto the creature's back to rub it under its chin. "That better?"
The War Grok panted happily, pounding its right hind leg on the ground as Qwark joined in with rubbing its belly.
"Boo!" some of the audience members shouted. "No befriending! We want mauling!"
Twilight frowned, then attached something to the War Grok's back. The device slowly expanded until the entire War Grok was covered in Hyperflux Armor - still experimental and in testing with Grummel-Net - with all sorts of weapons and other armaments bristling over its body. "Snowball," she addressed the now heavily armored - practically giant bio-tank at this point - War Grok, "it sounds like they want you to maul them. Do you think I heard that right?" Chuckling, 'Snowball' nodded eagerly, his tongue flopping around.
The audience fell silent. "Yay, befriending!" one of them shouted desperately, and the entire audience quickly joined the cheer, much to the whole group's amusement.
As Qwark, Ratchet, and Twilight made their separate ways back to their ships - with a new Negotiator rocket launcher in tow for Twilight and Ratchet as their tournament prizes - Qwark promised to take care of Snowball until they next met.
As Ratchet and Twilight left the Agorian Battleplex aboard Aphelion, they received two transmissions in quick succession. The first was from Qwark, informing them that he'd gained information regarding a secret entrance to Nefarious' base of operations, and that he would be investigating. After the usual exchanges of luck wishes, warnings to be careful, promises to be careful, warnings to not do anything rash, and a Pinkie Promise to make contact before taking any major action, communications were cut.
The second transmission was from Azimuth. "Ratchet, Twilight, come in! I just landed in Krell Canyon."
"Any sign of the Obsidian Eye?" Twilight asked eagerly.
"None yet," Azimuth replied, "but if the coordinates are right, it should be somewhere near the Odin Caves."
"Anything more specific?" Ratchet asked wistfully.
"I'm afraid not," Azimuth admitted. "I'll secure a landing zone for you. Get here as soon as you can."
"Setting course for Planet Lumos," Aphelion chimed in as soon as the communication ended. "Also, running hot shower and warm bath for each of you. You need it."
"Wait, you can smell now?" Ratchet gasped out.
"Much to my regret when you just came back from the Battleplex," Aphelion chided. "While you both clean, I will be laundering the syntho-leather covers of the seats."
Aphelion came in for landing gently beside Azimuth's own ship. "I will wait here unless you have need of me," she promised as Ratchet and Twilight hopped out. "It's a pity Alister's ship won't be much for conversation..."
Ratchet and Twilight glanced around at the landing spot Azimuth had suggested. It looked to be the entrance of an old mine, with cart tracks laid here and there over pits, water flowing down into deep chasms, cracks in the roof letting in sunlight, and the occasional plant life springing up from the brown dirt amidst the stones, although the last seemed limited to desert grass or mushrooms.
"Perfect timing!" Azimuth praised from just ahead. "I've triangulated the Obsidian Eye's location, somewhere in these caves. Follow me." He activated his new Omniboots to coast over the tracks across the chasm directly in front of them. Ratchet followed suit, while Twilight flew overhead.
Before going too far in, the pair stopped at the Grummel-net vendor, where they were each able to acquire a new Plasma Striker, the latest generation sniper weapon, which included a new Bioscope for locking onto vulnerable spots for more efficient kills.
Azimuth waited for them at the edge of a deep pit. "We need to find some way to raise that mining platform," he explained, gesturing below.
"I'll get it!" Twilight shouted as she dove down, her horn glowing to light her way.
As Ratchet sat back to keep an eye on Twilight, he noticed Alister looking around fondly at the place. "Been here before?" he asked curiously.
"Your father and I used to come here all the time when we were children," Alister murmured, fondly reminiscing. "It was a Raritanium mine back then. It's...all dried up now, but this whole place used to shimmer." He stared around, his eyes half closed as he visualized the place as it once had been. "We'd sneak in after the miners left and hoverboot through the darkness." As a particular memory resurfaced, he pointed to a particularly tricky looking jump. "Kaden almost broke his arm right over there."
"What happened?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"He tried to supercharge his hoverboots to clear a jump three times too wide for him," Alister replied with a chuckle. "First it was too much and he nearly slammed into the wall...and then his boots ran out of juice and he nearly fell into the pit. Had to pull a rather tricky maneuver myself to save him." He sighed fondly. "Oh, how we laughed about it on the way home. We had some good times out here..."
As he finished speaking, the mining platform rose, shortly followed by Twilight, and then by her Omniwrench. "Got it!" Twilight proclaimed proudly.
"You seem to use your wrenches well," Azimuth praised. "Customized them at all? Every Lombax customized their wrench as they got used to it and grew into their skill set." He held up his lance. "I tweaked mine to specialize completely as a weapon."
"Well, I gave mine a remote tether," Ratchet explained, pointing to the energy link where the head attached to the shaft of his Omniwrench. "Good for manipulating things just out of reach when you don't have Twilight's telekinesis."
Grinning widely, Twilight spun the base of her wrench to make the energy blade expose itself.
"Very nice!" Azimuth praised of both modifications. "Kaden altered his to be an all purpose tool that could manipulate any number of interface points at range. He called it his Omnidriver." Seeing the confused expressions, he chuckled and explained further. "Like a screwdriver, but for all tool needs."
Twilight tilted her head. "That...sounds somewhat familiar-" She paused. "Aphelion, why are you laughing so much?" she demanded through the comms.
"You'll get it soon enough!" Aphelion replied, still chortling.
Shrugging his shoulders, Azimuth gestured inward. "Come on. Let's explore the caves."
As they continued onward, Azimuth stopped Ratchet and Twilight. "Hold up." He gestured towards a large, black, nest like structure. "See that nest over there? Tetramites." As he spoke, swarms of tiny metal mites with one large eye on their back and one large mouth between their four legs swarmed out. "Stay close and, whatever happens, don't let them touch you."
"What happens if they do?" Ratchet asked worriedly.
"Let's just say they can digest anything," Azimuth explained. "They hate water, though, so if we can get to the other side of that creek-"
"On it!" Twilight replied, focusing her horn. Water from the creek was pulled out of it, forming spheres around the three adventurers. "How's this?"
"That might protect us for a little bit," Alister replied. "But we shouldn't rely on it. As a swarm, Tetramites are smart enough to figure out they can jump through this if we give them the chance. ...let's move!"
The group continued through the caverns, evading the dangers even as Azimuth reminisced about the various locations where he and Kaden had gotten up to youthful rambunctiousness together. At one point, after a leap into an area of almost total darkness, he hesitated. "It...wasn't just Kaden and I who came here," he admitted. "And...it wasn't just as children." He gestured to a spot in the corner, where bioluminescent fungi turned a small trickle of water over stones into a river of liquid silver. "There, for example. It's...it's where Kaden...proposed to Vashir..." He gestured to a concealed corner nearby, filled with carved wind passages in the rock. "I was...over there. Playing music to...set the mood. They were so...happy together..." Blinking, he turned away, dashing tears from his eyes.
"...Uncle," Ratchet began firmly. "Why aren't you with the other Lombaxes?"
Alister hesitated. It was plain he didn't want to talk about it, wanted to deny the importance of the question. But with Ratchet using that familial address... "...because I failed them," he admitted.
Twilight and Ratchet moved up near him. "We're listening," Twilight offered softly.
Seeing Ratchet and Twilight staring at him, Alister sank back against the wall to answer their questions. "I...made a mistake," he explained, closing his eyes against the pain of the memories. "After the Great War, Polaris was a...dangerous place. Even with the Cragmites gone, I knew steps needed to be taken to protect the galaxy."
"Not everyone agreed?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"No," Alister confirmed. "Even Kaden didn't like the idea of developing weapons technology further. We...had quite a few heated debates over that. That made things...even harder when it looked like opportunity came knocking."
"Opportunity?" Twilight asked curiously.
"One day, we were approached by an inventor with incredible ideas," Alister explained. "Technology light years beyond of what we were using! The inventor was someone...someone Kaden warned me not to trust-"
"Percival Tachyon," Ratchet and Twilight both stated together.
Seeing Alister's startled expression, Twilight smiled softly. "It's not that hard to put the pieces together," she explained. "He had to get the technology from somewhere."
"Yes," Alister replied. "From the Lombaxes...from me. Despite the fact that everyone else on the High Council distrusted him, I granted him full access to our technology, all of our secrets. I thought his plans could be used to help keep the entire galaxy safe!" He sighed, lowering his head. "But instead, he helped himself...to the whole galaxy. And we were his first targets.
"Most of us took refuge in the Court...but Kaden refused." Alister's head rose, pain visible in his eyes. "Vashiir had only just finished delivering you, and neither of you were stable enough for ship transport yet. He rushed back to save you both, but...by the time he got there, it was too late for her."
Twilight and Ratchet listened in stunned silence, both knowing to a certain extent that this was how their story began.
"After that, Kaden fled with you," Alister continued. "I...didn't hear from him again after that, so...I have no idea how long he survived before Tachyon caught up with him...but I know...I was responsible for his death. His, and your mother's. Your life without knowing your own kind, Ratchet, and the hardships that caused you...I am the reason. For these crimes...I was forbidden from joining the Lombaxes when they removed themselves from this dimension, in the hopes that doing so would limit Tachyon's destructive rampage as he turned his attention to pursuing us...and those of us that remained in this universe. Since I created the situation trying to protect the galaxy...I was left to try and protect the galaxy by keeping Tachyon in check."
As Alister sat in silence, Twilight tried to comfort him. "It's...it's not your fault..." she began.
"Yes it is," Alister countered. "How can it not be? None of it would have happened if I hadn't dismissed Kaden's concerns about Tachyon off as more 'anti-weapons tech paranoia'!" He almost spat the last words. "If I'd only listened to him...this is all my doing..."
"Thank you," Ratchet stated calmly.
Alister and Twilight's heads both shot up. "What?" they both demanded, shocked.
"So you're saying everything in my life - being raised by Nana on Veldin, raising Twilight, all our adventures together - happened because of what you did?" Ratchet asked. "Thank you. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Sure, I've wondered what it would have been like being raised by my parents, especially since finding Aphelion, but..." Reaching out, he stroked Twilight's cheek. "Wouldn't be worth trading away even a moment of being Twilight's father."
"...Daddy..." Twilight whispered, her eyes shining as she looked up at him.
"But...to never know your parents?" Alister countered. "Your own people?"
"If I want to know more about the Lombaxes," Ratchet countered, "I can ask Aphelion, or Angela, or you. But my people?" He shrugged. "My people are my family. That's Clank, a robot who is apparently part Zoni somehow; Twilight, a magical winged unicorn from who knows where; Aphelion, a living spaceship that's bigger on the inside; Qwark, an overgrown manchild who desperately wants to prove himself a hero, but even more just wants to belong and not be alone..." He smiled up at Alister. "And now you...Uncle."
Alister stared at Ratchet, completely poleaxed. After a time, he finally smiled. "Thank you, Ratchet."
"And Angela," Twilight spoke up. "And Sasha. And Talwyn, and by extension Cronk and Zephyr-"
"Yes, Twilight," Ratchet groaned, shaking his head as Twilight giggled at his discomfiture.
Alister managed a chuckle as he stood up. "Still...that doesn't mean we can't fix what went wrong. With the clock under our control-"
"Seriously?" Twilight interrupted. "You're seriously considering trying to use the Great Clock - a time machine - to alter time in such a way to negate the events that caused you to use it in the first place? Do you have any idea what that sort of Paradox could do to you? Do you even have any idea how it even works?"
"Do you?" Alister countered.
"No, but I wouldn't try to use a technology I just discovered until I knew everything about how it worked. In the case of the Great Clock, that'd be at least a year of study, if not two, from the sound of it."
As Alister and Twilight glared each other down, Ratchet stepped between them. "Look, let's set this aside for a moment, okay?" he spoke up. "Can we agree that letting Nefarious or any of his allies use the Clock is a bad idea?"
"Absolutely!" Twilight agreed.
"Most assuredly," Alister confirmed.
"In that case, let's focus on stopping him and saving Clank," Ratchet suggested. "Table any discussion of actually using the Clock ourselves until the danger of someone else using it has passed."
As he got nods of agreement from the two of them, Ratchet suppressed his own thoughts of wanting to use the Clock to try and track down Twilight's homeworld. Like he'd said, it wasn't the time for that.
After blasting a path out of the dark cavern they were in, Alister led the way outside to a settlement of the same sophonts they'd encountered back on Torren IV...along with a great deal of Agorian bodies and wrecked ships. "What happened here?" Alister demanded, confused.
"I was bored!" Aphelion whined as she lowered down. "And the Agorians were attacking these guys who couldn't defend themselves, and that makes them fair targets. Sorry I didn't leave any for you...but you were taking so long!"
Alister swallowed a bit as he stared. "Are...are Aphelion's upgrades more of Twilight's work?" he asked worriedly.
"Technically, I did bring the Zoni to fix her," Twilight allowed. "All 117,000 of them..."
"...no wonder she's so powerful now," Alister muttered before looking around to determine which way to go.
"Hail great Sky Warrior!" one of the members of the settlement called out to Aphelion. "How can we thank you for saving us?"
"My companions need guidance to the Obsidian Eye," Aphelion replied. "Do you know where it is?"
"The Eye is in the Temple!" the resident proclaimed eagerly. "Follow me!"
The sophont guided them to the path in question, explaining that it had been sealed off ages ago due to an excess of tetramites, amongst other things, while also providing an Omnisoaker gadget in the hopes it would assist them. The Omnisoaker could absorb any nearby source of liquid before launching it, either to fill objects that needed the liquid or for other purposes. This proved quite useful in maneuvering around several badly placed tetramite nests throughout the cave.
Beyond there, they found their way to a Zoni Temple. Contained within was the Obsidian Eye. Unfortunately, the Fulcrum Star - the device's power source - was cracked, and there was no guarantee of a good signal. The system booted up successfully, however. "Stand by for system uplink," the computer proclaimed.
Clank was pondering what exactly to do next within the Great Clock when a screen activated behind him. "Mommy!"
At that familiar shout, Clank spun around to see Twilight, Ratchet, and a Lombax he didn't recognize. "Ratchet! Twilight! How did you find me?"
"You didn't really think we'd leave you out here all alone, did you?" Ratchet asked.
"Who is that behind you?" Clank asked curiously.
"Believe it or not, it's my Uncle...sort of," Ratchet replied. "General Azimuth's been helping us find you. Send us your coordinates, and we'll come get you!"
"Signal integrity 33%," the Obsidian Eye computer proclaimed.
"One sec!" Twilight called out. Levitating the Zoni vessel, she mixed her magic with the energies of the Zoni, and sent the combined reconstruction spell at the Fulcrum Star, restoring it to its pre-cracked condition by turning back its personal timeline.
"Signal integrity restored to 100%," the computer intoned.
"Very good, Twilight," Clank praised. "You're beginning to master time magic...which is rather unnerving, but reassuring as well. I need your help, all of you. Orvus is in trouble."
"We've been hearing that name a lot," Twilight replied. "Who is he?"
"My father."
As Ratchet and Azimuth's jaws both dropped, Twilight gasped. "Grandpa's in trouble? What can we do? We've got to save him!"
"You must go to Zanifar and confront Dr. Nefarious there," Clank explained.
"But Nefarious hasn't set foot on Zanifar since his station was completed two years ago!" Azimuth countered.
"Then that is when you must confront him," Clank replied. "Zanifar is currently experiencing temporal anomalies. I should be able to manipulate them from here to temporarily connect the present to two years ago, allowing you to confront Nefarious then...and with luck, save my father from whatever has happened to him."
"How will we get in contact with you again?" Ratchet asked. "We can't keep coming back to the Eye here..." His voice trailed off. "Twilight, I know that look..."
"Aphelion!" Twilight called out. "Can you enter the Zoni Temple?"
"On my way!" Aphelion replied as she dove in, hovering over the Obsidian Eye. "What is your plan?"
Picking up the Zoni vessel, she once more tapped the energy of the thousands of Zoni within, amplifying her analysis magic through her Pilot's Helmet...directing the energy at Aphelion and the Obsidian Eye. There was a blinding flash of light.
When the light cleared, the Obsidian Eye was gone, and Aphelion was floating there. "Obsidian Eye now installed within ship communications array," Aphelion stated bluntly. "But tell me next time you're going to mess with my internal circuitry like that, Twilight! That was freaky!"
"Can you maintain the communications link with the Great Clock?" Twilight asked hopefully.
"Affirmative," Aphelion confirmed. "The Obsidian Eye doesn't use spatial dimensions for its communication system, so once it is successfully installed, it automatically locks on to the Great Clock, no matter where it is."
"You never cease to amaze, confound, and terrify Twilight," Clank praised. "Clank out."
With the communications cut, Clank turned back to Sigmund. "Where are the temporal controls for planet Zanifar?" he asked. "We have a job to do, and a Caretaker to save."
"You're sure this will work?" Sigmund asked worriedly.
"Can you create a time portal on Zanifar using the anomalies?" Clank suggested.
"I...suppose if I used the oscilloscopic entanglement modulator to create a vacuum of negative energy, it could theoretically create a traversable wormhole," Sigmund replied, running rapid-fire computations on his attached console and inputting commands.
"Time rift stabilized," the Great Clock computer proclaimed.
"Twilight is going to love you," Clank stated with a smile.
With their new plan laid out and a new communications array installed, the group set their separate courses for Planet Zanifar.
The planet of Zanifar was protected by a special satellite barrier that likely would have proven more of a deterrent if Aphelion weren't so heavily upgraded. As it was, the only reason Ratchet and Twilight were even aware of it as they approached was because Aphelion mentioned it in passing. Zanifar itself proved to be a rather picturesque world, the area they landed in being filled with snowy plains and distant - and not so distant - snow capped peaks. The only thing marring the beautiful vista was the massive fortress of Dr. Nefarious.
"My sensors are detecting an unknown anomaly," Aphelion spoke up as they started their approach. "Similar to the one that hit us near Quantos."
"That must be the time gate Clank said he was making for us," Twilight hypothesized, only to pause. "Time...Gate? That terminology seems...familiar."
"We'll think about that later," Ratchet replied. "We need to figure out how to get to Nefarious and Orvus before Clank's Dad bites the big one!"
"Right!" Twilight agreed as the pair leapt out of the cockpit. "Any help you can offer, Aphelion?"
"Unfortunately, my own quantum signature is currently unstable due to the newness of the Zoni based upgrades," Aphelion apologized. "It would be best if I limited my activity on this world as long as active Time Gates are present."
"Then we'll do this the old fashioned way," Ratchet decided, limbering up with his Omniwrench.
As Ratchet and Twilight began to explore, they encountered enemies similar to the mushroom like creatures they fought on Quantos, but a different color. They did not appear to be any more durable, however. The robots deployed by Nefarious to patrol the area proved to be much the same as they'd encountered before as well, providing little to no challenge for their tried and true tactics.
Not far along the path, the pair came across a Grummel-Net vendor, which now had a new Cryomine Glove for sale. The weapon was apparently based on some old Lombax tech, and deployed mines that would home in on hostile targets and freeze them solid. Ratchet and Twilight each bought one, once Twilight was able to get hers modified to work for her even though she lacked fingers.
Beyond the next gate, the pair encountered Fongoids who appeared to be rather miserable. The first they approached brightened at their presence. "Praise Orvus, a Lombax!" he proclaimed eagerly. "Have you come to rescue us?"
"Actually, in all likelihood, when we're done here you'll have never needed saving," Twilight replied. "Clank sent us here after arranging to stabilize the temporal anomalies here into Time Gates we can use to go back in time to save his father, Orvus, from Nefarious...which probably means whatever happened here won't have happened the way it did."
"What did happen, anyway?" Ratchet asked, staring around at the energy field cages most of the Fongoids were trapped in.
Once the Fongoid got over the shock of Twilight's statement, he began his explanation. "Well, Dr. Nefarious arrived a little over two years ago, and tricked us into helping him build this outpost. Before we knew it, his troops were herding us into detainment camps! The gates are controlled by that guard tower up there." He glanced nervously between Ratchet and Twilight. "Before you start playing games with causality, do you think you could help us out in the now?"
Twilight glanced at the Guard Tower in question. "...anyone in there friendly?"
"No, just Nefarious' robots," the Fongoid replied.
"Aphelion?" Twilight called through the comms. "How big an etheric discharge can I risk without destabilizing the local temporal fields?"
"I would recommend not carrying out your current plan," Aphelion cautioned. "Given the proximity of the open Time Gate to the Guard Tower, obliterating the Tower with a magic discharge may flash back across the portal to destroy it two years ago as well, and that's likely where Nefarious and Orvus presently are in the past. The resulting paradox would likely obliterate Zanifar, and us."
Twilight ceased gathering her magic. "Time travel is such a headahce," she grumbled. "I can't even blow stuff up anymore!"
Shaking his head, Ratchet led the way towards the Guard Tower. The path was blocked at first, but a bit of cleverness involving the Omnisoaker and a tetramite nest cleared it. Making their way along the towers to the main controls was straightforward, as Twilight was able to swoop around them to deliver a bombardment from above, allowing Ratchet to sneak up behind the defenders while they were focused on Twilight. This allowed them to readily make their way into the main Tower, where they were able to shut down the containment grid, clearing the path to the Time Gate.
When the pair reached the Gate, they paused. "Are you ready for this Twilight?" Ratchet asked.
"Ready for what?" Twilight responded, a little confused.
"To leap through time," Ratchet replied. "To play with the fundamental nature of causality. To toy with the very fabric of space time in an attempt to undo events that have already occurred, and reshape history to our whims?"
Twilight paused. "Oh...wow. I hadn't really thought about it like that. When you put it that way...that's a lot of responsibility. My every action in the past is going to carry with it terrible consequences which could drastically alter everything we know. The slightest mistake could very well create a paradox that would wipe us from existence, and who knows what else!" She stared into the Gate. "...I don't think I'm ready for this..."
Ratchet knelt down beside her. "Twilight...I know it's a big responsibility-"
"I need bigger guns first!" Twilight proclaimed eagerly.
Ratchet chuckled. "I don't think there are any available, Twilight."
"Huh," Twilight replied thoughtfully. She then shrugged her shoulders. "Eh, I'll jury-rig something on the other side." With that said, she leapt through the Gate.
As Ratchet and Twilight came out the other side of the Time Gate, they found the plains of Zanifar far more idyllic, covered in colorful grasses and flowers, with only the occasional wooden fence marking off a vegetable garden. The beginnings of the Tower they'd just been inside was visible nearby, and a computerized voice could be heard from the structure. "Dr. Nefarious is not a disappointment, as his mother once said."
"...wow," Ratchet muttered. "He's...actually got his computer announcing that? He's...got some major self esteem issues."
"His nemesis was Captain Qwark from before we got to him," Twilight pointed out. "This is news?"
Ratchet glanced at Twilight disapprovingly. "Don't you think that's being a little harsh on Qwark?"
"Can you tell me he'd hesitate even a moment before agreeing with that assessment of who he used to be?" Twilight countered. "You know how critical he's gotten of his own past. And it's not like he's like that anymore."
Ratchet shrugged. "True, I suppose...but now I'm kinda feeling sorry for Nefarious..."
"Save that for after we save Orvus," Twilight chided him. "Let's go!"
As they moved around the past Fongoid village, they heard the various Fongoids muttering phrases about how 'great and wonderful' Dr. Nefarious was. "Apparently, he's dabbling in brainwashing again," Ratchet muttered. "No longer feeling sorry for him."
"Let's go fix him, then!" Twilight proclaimed eagerly.
A nearby sign told them about a 'crash site' where Nefarious and Lawrence had arrived. According to the text, the reason the Fongoids had been so welcoming of them was because they believed it was a sign Orvus felt the Fongoids were ready for technology again, whatever that meant. As the pair continued to explore, the computerized voice recited the lines they'd heard the Fongoids muttering without emotion, showing how the gentle brainwashing was progressing. Twilight grumbled about being too close to an active temporal anomaly to risk the level of etheric discharge it would take to "shut that stupid machine up!"
As they approached the path to the tower, one of the Fongoids stopped them. "Hey!" he greeted warmly. "Are you here to help build Dr. Nefarious' outpost? We just finished building the bridge, but the winch crank rusted up, so we can't lower it."
Ratchet frowned thoughtfully. "Say...have you seen Orvus?"
The Fongoid glanced around before whispering conspiratorially, "We're not supposed to talk about it, but he's inside. Can you imagine what those two have to talk about? Dr. Nefarious is brilliant!"
"How can we fix the bridge?" Twilight demanded. "We need to get inside now!"
"Nothing we can do," the Fongoid offered apologetically. "We'll just have to wait for them to finish building the oil derrick first."
Ratchet glanced at the structure in question. "Hmm...that was complete on the other side of the Gate...we could run back through, fill our Omni-soakers with oil, come back, oil the winch, and make the bridge."
"But that might take too long!" Twilight insisted worriedly.
"Well, if you're in that much of a hurry, you do have wings," the Fongoid pointed out reasonably. "The water's pretty warm, so there should be good thermals."
Twilight blinked for a time, then facehoofed. "I can't believe I forgot I could fly for a bit," she groaned.
"Especially since you're currently flying?" Ratchet added teasingly to the hovering young mare.
"Don't you start," Twilight grumbled as she flew over the gap.
Ratchet waited until she was halfway out, then locked onto her Swingshot with his to swing across. Inside the outpost a Grummel-net vendor was visible...but Ratchet and Twilight carefully stayed away from it. If it wasn't somehow quantumly entangled with their current endeavor to be receiving data from their present, they could cause a paradox by trying to buy ammo for weapons that hadn't been invented yet. And neither of them really wanted to think about what it could mean if it was so entangled.
Thankfully, the robotic defenders within the tower weren't that numerous or that durable, and the pair were able to take them all down without expending their ammunition completely, leaving plenty for what would come next. Bracing themselves, they rode an elevator to the top of the tower.
As they stepped off, they could hear Nefarious shouting. "You twit!" he yelled. "You told me this would work!"
"I-I don't know what's happening," an unfamiliar Terrachnoid replied. "We should have found it by now!"
As Ratchet and Twilight approached, they made out the scene. Nefarious, Lawrence, and the unknown Terrachnoid were in discussion of some sort in front of a clear tube filled with a beam of light. At the moment, neither Ratchet nor Twilight could see inside the tube clearly. However, it wasn't long before they could clearly make out the wizened figure of a Zoni inside the capsule.
"He must have erased his own memory!" the Terrachnoid gasped out, somewhere between anger and desperation.
"Time...is a gift," the Zoni stated, his voice weak but firm, "and...not to be tampered with."
Ratchet and Twilight leapt into position behind the group as Nefarious spoke again. "This is your last chance, Orvus. How do I get into the chamber?"
"You are making a mistake," Orvus insisted weakly. "The clock is not a time machine."
Growling, Nefarious gestured to a mechanical soldier nearby, which began firing energy at Orvus.
"There is only one who will enter my chamber," Orvus managed to growl through the pain. "And he is safe; far from you."
A blaze of white light blinded everyone...but Ratchet's keen eyes caught a brief flare of pale purple behind the light, and he could have sworn he heard Twilight shouting "Close it!" over and over...but Twilight was standing right beside him, her mouth closed, her eyes covered, and no glow around her horn. Perhaps he was seeing things.
However, when the light faded, Orvus was gone. "Where is he?" Nefarious demanded. "Where did he go?"
"I don't know, sir," the Terrachnoid replied. "I'm pulling up a residual image from his data banks. We scanned it before he...vanished." An image of Clank appeared on a holographic screen.
"Clank?" Ratchet gasped out in confusion.
"Mommy?" Twilight called worriedly.
"You!" Nefarious snarled as he spun to face them.
Ratchet quickly hurled the bomb he'd been priming, using it as a distraction to help himself and Twilight escape. Despite their best efforts to rescue Orvus...they had not made it there in time...
Or did we? Ratchet wondered as they made their way back to the Time Gate, leaving Nefarious to deal with the new gouge the bomb had left on his faceplate.
As Ratchet and Twilight returned to Aphelion, Twilight was down while Ratchet was pensive. "How did it go?" Aphelion asked worriedly.
"We...weren't able to save Orvus," Twilight sighed sadly.
"Yet," Ratchet corrected. "I'm pretty sure he vanished into time, so we just need the Great Clock to scan for him."
"I'll get in contact with-incoming communications!" Aphelion's words showed the unexpected interruption. "It is of high priority!"
Vorselon's visage appeared on the screen. "Greetings, young Lombax!" he proclaimed. "I think I have come across something that belongs to you." He stepped aside, the view now revealing Azimuth in a cage.
"General!" Ratchet shouted out worriedly.
"It is a dark day when one is tasked with destroying half the galaxy's Lombax population-"
"Signal traced," Aphelion informed Ratchet and Twilight. "Shall we set course?"
Vorselon frowned. "I was going to tell you where we were anyway," he growled out.
"So you could lead us into an obvious trap by implying Ratchet could swap places with Azimuth, which you knew would lead us into sneaking in to try and free him so you could get all of us?" Twilight countered. "Secret Agent Clank, Season 3, Episode 4, A Hero's Sacrifice. If you're going to use a cliche plot, at least make up original dialogue!"
Vorselon made strangled noises and a few strangling motions towards Twilight before getting himself under control. "Do I just kill him then?"
"Ratchet! Twilight! Don't listen to him!" Azimuth shouted out. "Find the Clock!"
"You've been outvoted, General!" Twilight called out. "We'll be there before we left!"
"Wait, what?" Vorselon demanded, confused.
"Activating Quantum Fold Drive!" Aphelion announced. Just before communications cut, Vorselon was stunned as Ratchet and Twilight burst in behind him.
By utilizing the energies of the open Time Gate, Aphelion was able to warp through time and space to a specific set of space-time coordinates without straining the quantum fabric, allowing them to arrive at Vorselon's warship exactly six minutes(1) before they left. "Sorry I couldn't give you more time," Aphelion apologized, "but any further would have strained the Quantum Drivers(2) and the Etheric Hole Driver(3)."
"It's alright, Aphelion," Ratchet replied. "It's more than enough time."
"As long as we move fast and quiet," Twilight agreed. "If Vorselon doesn't make the phone call, we'll make a paradox, and he won't make it if he knows we're on board."
"Hologuises?" Ratchet asked curiously.
Twilight grinned widely. "Hologuise Mark 2!" she replied, pulling out the devices. "Makes us look like flying robots, so we can jump without disrupting the image."
Hopping out of Aphelion's canopy, the pair stopped by at a Grummel-net vendor to get the latest version of the Buzz Blades weapon, which proved much more effective in the latest manifestation than it had been in Bogon or Solana. Once the weapon was purchased, the pair activated their Hologuises and made their way into the ship. The gadget worked as well as it always had, and the robots inside the ship let them through unmolested. They even went so far as to help open paths for them once Twilight explained - in a robotic voice - that they were reporting to Vorselon for orders.
Vorselon's warship hadn't changed inside, so they didn't need to wander all that much to make their way to where Vorselon was just finishing his phone call to them. Hearing that, they both busted in.
"What?" Vorselon demanded, shocked. "How?"
"You'd be amazed what our ship can do!" Twilight proclaimed proudly. "And then there's this!" Reaching into her bags, she pulled out her RYNO-4-EVER. "Wonder what happens if I pump Zoni energy through this?" Grinning widely, she hooked the Zoni containment capsule to the weapon's power core.
"Hit the deck!" Ratchet screamed out in terror as he dove behind the nearest cover as the weapon warmed up.
Twilight stared out at the wreckage of the ship, the bits and pieces of floating detritus that the trio were clinging to, and the new star that had appeared out of nowhere. "...note to self...don't do that again." She quickly disconnected the capsule. "Is everyone okay?"
"The containment cell took most of the damage," Azimuth groaned. "My ship's on its way to pick me up..."
"I hid behind the containment cell, so I'm okay," Ratchet muttered as Aphelion swooped up.
"No sign of Vorselon," Aphelion informed them as she collected Ratchet and Twilight while Azimuth entered his own ship. "Perhaps next time you could avoid making such a big mess, Twilight?"
"Yeah...definitely not doing that again..." she muttered, putting the weapon away. "So...where do we go next?"
"I was hacking into Vorselon's computer when I got caught," Azimuth explained. "I'd only gotten as far as coordinates to the Bernilius sector."
"Do you still have the coordinates?" Ratchet inquired.
"I'll upload them to your ship and meet you there," Azimuth replied readily.
"Got it."
The pair of ships made their separate ways towards the Bernilius sector.
(1) The Plumber does state later that it's the safety margin. (2) The parts of Aphelion's new tech that allows her to manipulate quantum energy, installed by the Zoni. (3) Since the Zoni were also exposed to Twilight's magic, they were able to install an engine that tapped into the etheric fields directly, with the magical equivalent of a controlled white hole, endlessly pouring mystic energy into the drives at a controlled rate.
"So," Clank asked as he walked alongside Sigmund through the halls of the Great Clock, "what's next on our Temporal To-Do List?"
Sigmund went over a few details from his check list as he compared them to things that had been taken care of already. "Only one thing left on the checklist...test mnemonic station Iota."
"Station Iota?" Clank asked curiously.
"Yup!" Sigmund confirmed. "As in, 'Iota test a mnemonic station'!" Seeing Clank's stare, he shrugged helplessly. "Sorry. Orvus' sense of humor rubs off on you after the first thousand years."
"You've worked for him that long?" Clank asked, surprised.
"Relatively speaking," Sigmund allowed sheepishly. "Quantum entanglement really screws with your internal chronometer, so it's hard to be sure...especially when we rarely deal with time linearly."
Clank nodded in understanding. He could well imagine how frustrating that could be. Letting the subject go for the moment, he followed Sigmund in the direction of the mnemonic station, pausing only long enough to repair any damaged parts of the Great Clock that he came across.
"I need to head to sector nine," Sigmund commented after reading a status report. "I'll meet you at the station!" He pointed in the direction Clank needed to go, then headed off.
Clank carefully made his way along the indicated path, past a more complicated Time Pad puzzle and several intruding hostiles before eventually catching up to Sigmund, who was getting a door open while complaining about some of the malfunctioning tech. Entering, Clank discovered that the mnemonic station itself was in need of repairs, which his Chronoscepter was able to provide. He then hopped in to test it.
---
As Clank entered his mindscape again, he was surprised to find The Plumber fishing several odd chunks of tech out of a large green pipe sticking up out of the ground for some reason. Each piece of tech seemed to be something out of Clank's memories. The 'exercise book' Qwark had given him, the Dimensionator, Tachyon's helmet...
"Hello?" Clank asked, confused.
The Plumber spun around. "Oh, it's you!" he gasped out in relief. "You gave the old ticker a start."
"I am not sure why you would be surprised to encounter me in my own memory banks," Clank pointed out. "Why are you here?"
"Your memory banks?" The Plumber asked, surprised. "Huh. Must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. I thought I was in the green fella's head, what with all the empti-"
"Keep in mind that is my son you are speaking of," Clank interrupted.
"No offense meant," The Plumber replied quickly. Reaching into the pipe, he pulled out a photograph. Ratchet, Clank, Twilight, and Qwark gathered together, posing for a family photo...Qwark managing to somehow give himself bunny ears. "Huh. Lotsa things are different, aren't they? Ya look so happy in this picture..."
Clank walked up to the pipe. "...the symbolism is rather intriguing..." he murmured. "This pipe...it's my path as my father's son...and my...family must be removed from the path for me to walk it unhindered. A rather...upsetting choice."
"Just keep in mind, Clank," The Plumber replied, attaching a tiny ticking egg to the photo, causing it to slip down the pipe freely, "your choices are your own. Keep your eyes peeled, and there's always a new path available." Light shone upwards from within the pipe. "And the future turns brightest when you least expect it..."
Clank prepared himself to leap into the light...only to turn to The Plumber. "Are you coming?"
"Plumbers don't just go diving down strange pipes willy-nilly!" The Plumber proclaimed petulantly. "That'd be silly." He then chuckled softly. "Thanks for lettin' me say that line. It's my little girl's favorite." Before Clank could question, The Plumber knocked him into the pipe, where the warm light surrounded him.
---
"So does it work?" Sigmund asked as Clank stepped out of the chamber. "I picked up some odd neural readings there for a bit."
"The station is operational," Clank hastened to assure him. "I merely encountered something...unanticipated."
"Well, then our last stop is the Orvus Chamber itself!" Sigmund proclaimed proudly. "Last one there's a rusted Zoni!" He raced ahead eagerly.
Clank shook his head as he followed along. "So very much like Twilight," he murmured as he moved in pursuit.
A few more invading biological hostiles got in Clank's way, but he dealt with them quickly and readily. The upgrades he'd installed of Twilight's design seemed to be rather overpowering as far as the foes he encountered were concerned. "Maybe I can do more on our adventures than just riding along on Ratchet's back," he murmured thoughtfully as he tossed another creature out into empty space.
The final Time Plate puzzle proved the most challenging, but Clank was able to make it past it after a bit of trial and error once he got the timing down better. After the last few hurdles, Clank caught up to Sigmund at the entrance of the Orvus Chamber. The door was massive and ornate, with an unusual locking mechanism. A switch designed only to react to Clank's unique body type while holding a Chronoscepter caused the bronze mechanism on the door to rotate until it and the two glowing circles took the shape...of Clank's own face, Orvus symbolically passing the reins of the Clock to Clank.
The Orvus Chamber itself was massive and wide open, a wide observatory that looked out upon all of time and space. In the exact center was the control terminal, which slowly rose out of the ground as Sigmund triggered it. It was a round circle around a single handle, allowing anyone to take hold of it to turn time forward or backward at will.
Sigmund spoke quietly about how much of Orvus' life post Clank's creation surrounded observations of Clank and the others...but the saved video files that played showed Clank far clearer than Sigmund's words could just how much he meant to his father. After a time, Sigmund played an 'orientation message'...a holographic recording of Orvus.
"Hello, XJ-0461," Orvus greeted warmly. "Or should I say Clank? Here in this very chamber, I watched over time. And now that you understand the power of the Clock, I must ask you to protect it at all costs; for even the slightest misuse of its power can rip the very fabric of existence. The Clock, much like Time itself, is a gift, and not to be tampered with." Orvus' expression saddened. "But like any father, my only wish is that my-"
The message was cut off at the same time as a strange electrical field shut down Clank's systems.
Lawrence smiled softly to himself. "I'm sorry, were you in the middle of something?" he asked playfully, having learned a very important lesson from watching his employer.
"We'll find him soon, Twi," Ratchet assured her. "I promise."
"Ratchet, come in!" Alister called out through the comms. "I've just picked up a looping transmission on one of the emergency frequencies. Can you make anything of it?" A strange oscillation of sound came through the speakers.
"Mommy!" Twilight called out happily.
"You got it, Twi!" Ratchet confirmed. "That's a distress signal with Clank's signature. Aphelion, track-"
"Setting course to Planet Vapedia!" Aphelion intoned, correcting course immediately.
"I'll meet you there as soon as I can!" Alister promised. "But...if the Clock were on Vapedia, it would have been found long ago."
"Then we need to get to him sooner," Ratchet grumbled. "Because someone's taken control of the Clock from him."
"And we need to take it back!" Twilight insisted.
"Engaging maximum warp," Aphelion warned.
As they made their way towards Planet Vapedia, they were intercepted by another Valkyrie ship. "Bonjour, Monsieur Lombax!" the pink armored Valkyrie greeted. "I see you picked up on our-"
Twilight seized the controls as her magic flared, a massive silhouette of an alicorn made of living fire surrounding Aphelion. "GET OUT OF OUR WAY!" Twilight roared out as Aphelion blasted right past the ship and through the energy barriers raised to stop them. "I'm coming, Mommy!" Twilight shouted in a more normal voice as Aphelion dove in towards Vapedia's atmosphere.
The Valkyrie commander stared, her jaw hanging. "...girls, if anyone asks, we saw nothing," she ordered to her troops. "Now where's the nearest mead hall?"
"What about Libra, Commander Carina?" one of the squad leaders asked.
"When the little one is not angry enough to summon a fire giant," Carina replied. "We may be Valkyries, but last I checked none of us were named Freya."
Vapedia was a blue world that, at first glance, wasn't plain whether the blue was from water or gas. The few bits of land floated high up in the atmosphere, traversable only by flight or the bridges connecting them. Alister was waiting for them when they arrived. "Clank's distress signal is coming from somewhere inside the citadel," he explained as they arrived, gesturing to a massive building visible in the distance.
"Then why'd we land all the way out here?" Twilight demanded. "Why not just blast our way in?"
"Because my circuitry needs time to repair after the magical overcharge you manifested to get past the Valkyries," Aphelion scolded the overenthusiastic filly. "It would have been better if I'd just ripped the ship in half like last time."
Twilight's ears went flat against her skull. "...sorry..."
"I'll be fully repaired by the time you're all ready to leave, but I'll need to stay put until then," Aphelion offered softly.
"Then we'll just go in on foot," Alister insisted. "Nothing we can't handle."
"Right," Ratchet agreed firmly. "Let's go."
The stony outcrops floating amongst the clouds were lush with grass and trees, somewhat idyllic in appearance. Ratchet insisted Twilight take the time to take in the scenery while he purchased them each a Mag-net Launcher from the Grummel-net vendor nearby, wanting her to be calm for this mission. Once the group was ready to go, they moved forward together.
The Omni-boots proved most useful in getting from outcrop to outcrop, and before long they began the approach to the Citadel itself. Valkyries began charging them on foot and by winged jetpack at that point, the foot soldiers being a bit more svelte in appearance than the commanders had been. Their primary armaments seemed to be large guns and larger hammers. Unfortunately for them, Twilight was a bit too quick on the draw for any of them to show what the weapons were capable of.
Once they'd dealt with the first group of charging Valkyries, Ratchet unlocked an airship dock that allowed them to commandeer a Valkyrie airship - little more than three hovering platforms fused together - to make their way to the Citadel itself, a large collection of buildings resembling Old Earth nuclear power plant silos.
As they moved in, another Valkyrie commander - this one in orange - blocked their path. "Well, well, well," she greeted coldly. "If it isn't the galaxy's favorite Lombaxes. Come to rescue your little friend?"
"Our quarrel isn't with you, Cassiopeia!" Alister shouted back. "Hand over Clank and we'll cause no more trouble!"
Cassiopeia burst out in laughter. "After what happened to Libra, you really expect me to be so forgiving?"
Twilight took a close look at the Valkyrie. "Say, Ratchet...doesn't she look familiar?"
Ratchet blinked, taking a look. "Huh. Now that you mention it...except for the coloration and the helmet, she looks a lot like Helga."
"Now that we have what we-did you say Helga?" Cassiopeia demanded, rounding on Ratchet and Twilight. "How do you know that name?"
Twilight snorted. "Know the name? She's one of my best friends! I trained under her when helping get my brother, Captain Qwark, back into shape!"
"You lie!" Cassiopeia proclaimed. "If Helga was truly your trainer, than she would have taught you-"
Twilight lifted up onto her hind legs, one hoof over her left eye and the other at the tip of her horn. "Zip Zoom Zigaloom, Zam Zot Zut!" She then went back down to all four legs. "She said that was 'the secret greeting' if anyone asked about her."
The Valkyries stared in shock. Cassiopeia finally found her voice. "She...she lives?" she gasped out. "We...we thought she had fallen with the destruction of our colony! Where has she been all this time?"
"Solana," Twilight replied easily. "Though more recently, she's with the Polaris Space Pirates-"
"Forget Nefarious!" Cassiopeia proclaimed as all the Valkyries turned to leave. "One lost has been found again! We go to her!" As Cassiopeia led the way, she shouted out, "I'm coming, Mommy! I've missed you!!"
Ratchet, Twilight, and Alister stared at the retreating warrior maidens. "Well," Ratchet finally said. "That was..."
"You really trained with the Valkyrie Queen?" Azimuth demanded, stunned. "The Child of Freya? Surt-Slayer? She who tamed ten thousand leviathans?" He shook his head in wonder. "No wonder you're both so skilled."
Ratchet blinked. "Huh. Helga never mentioned she was famous..."
"The least they could have done was tell us where Clank was!" Twilight pouted.
"Well, the path's clear at least," Ratchet offered.
Shrugging, the trio made their way further in unhindered.
With the Valkyries having abandoned the Citadel, Ratchet, Twilight, and Azimuth were able to make their way through completely unopposed. As such, it wasn't long before Twilight's scrying spell led them straight to where Clank was being kept in stasis. Once the stasis tube was broken open, Clank awakened on his own. "Hello, Ratchet," he said as his optics activated.
"Hey, Clank-"
"Mommy!" Twilight cried out, clinging tightly to Clank as she cried in relief, now that she knew he was alright.
Clank blinked for a moment, then rubbed Twilight's back with a smile. "I am happy to see you too, Twilight." He started to say something else, but he could tell that Twilight just needed him to stay silent right now. As such, he just held her close, unsurprised when Ratchet pulled them both into his arms.
By the time Twilight managed to get herself back under control, the group had returned to Aphelion, where Ratchet informed Clank of their failure in Zanifar's past. "I'm sorry about your father, Clank. We just...weren't fast enough..."
"This time around," Twilight muttered under her breath, the beginnings of an idea and understanding shaping in her mind. Something about the sound the Zoni made when they worked their energies tickled the back of her brain...
"It is alright, Ratchet, Twilight," Clank reassured them. "Nefarious will pay for what he's done. What matters now is that we keep the clock safe. It's only a matter of time at this point before Nefarious moves to take control of it, as I unwittingly opened the path to the Orvus Chamber for him."
"The Orvus Chamber?" Twilight asked curiously.
"The control chamber for the entire station," Clank explained. "If someone who doesn't understand the true nature of the Great Clock uses the controls there, they could tear the fabric of existence!"
"Well that's why we have this little lady," Azimuth insisted, patting Twilight on the shoulder. "She'll be able to figure out how to use the Clock safely if anyone can."
Clank stared for a time. "I'm not sure which scares me more. That you say that with such conviction, or that I genuinely believe Twilight could figure out a safe way to use the Clock to time travel, given enough time."
"How about seeing your father's face when she figures out how to use the Clock to save him?" Azimuth suggested. "Or Ratchet's face...when his parents embrace him?"
Clank frowned. While everything Orvus had said told him that it was too dangerous to risk using the Clock as a time machine, everything he'd seen of Twilight had told him that if anyone could figure out how to do it safely, it was her...but at the same time there was everything that could go wrong from having her study the Clock. "Umm..."
"We'll discuss it when Nefarious isn't an issue anymore," Twilight insisted. "Once we know no one will misuse the clock, we can talk about whether or not we'll use it."
Clank nodded. "I can accept that as a compromise," he allowed. "So, should I take my usual place on your back, Ratchet? Or would I perhaps do better fighting alongside you? I do have a few new skills at my disposal."
Smirking, Ratchet primed his weapons. "Lock and load, Clank."
Clank grinned widely as he joined Ratchet and Twilight in Aphelion. "...this is new..." he managed as he took in Aphelion's upgrades.
"You haven't seen anything yet...sis," Aphelion offered teasingly.
"Do not start," Clank scolded as Twilight giggled.
As the group entered space in the two ships, they received an unexpected communication. "Mega Hero to Ratchet! Come in Dad!"
"Is that...Captain Qwark?" Clank asked, shocked.
"Mom! You're okay!" Qwark cheered happily. "But if you're there, who's keeping Nefarious away from the Clock?"
"That's our job now, Qwark," Ratchet interrupted. "You said you were going to try and infiltrate Nefarious' base. How's that going?"
"Better than I anticipated," Qwark replied, sounding somewhat uncomfortable. "I can honestly say that I am...further undercover than I've ever been before. In fact, when this is over let us never speak of it again."
Twilight's eyes widened at the mere implications of that statement. "Umm...I need an adult..."
"You and me both, sis," Qwark agreed. His shudder could be heard over the communicator.
"We'll meet you outside the station, Qwark," Clank replied quickly.
"Oh thank god!" Qwark replied quickly.
"How's Snowball doing?" Twilight asked curiously.
"Better than me," Qwark answered. "Except for getting a bit hungry. There isn't much to eat around here for a War Grok his size."
"I will start preparing enough food to feed Snowball," Aphelion confirmed.
"Until we get there, Qwark, hold position!" Azimuth ordered. "We need to make this a focused assault to take Nefarious down hard. And once that's done...it will be time to move to secure the Great Clock."
Qwark was silent for a time. "...is this another one of those techy things where the temptation to misuse is nearly as dangerous as the risks of using in the first place? Like the Dimensionator?"
"And Qwark puts that together," Clank muttered. "Worry not, Qwark," he continued in a louder voice. "We will be quite careful with this. It is my legacy, after all."
"Ah, so Twilight's in charge then!" Qwark confirmed. "I feel much safer now. Qwark out!"
Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight turned to stare at each other, then burst into hysterical laughter, Aphelion joining in as she set course for Nefarious' station.
As they made their way to the space station, the two ships paused just outside the laser satellite defense barrier surrounding Nefarious' station. "So," Ratchet began over comms, "how do we get in? If we break through, Nefarious will know we're attacking."
"I believe I could make it through without breaching the barrier," Aphelion spoke up. "However, I cannot guarantee I could get a second ship through."
"It's probably best if you don't," Azimuth spoke up. "We should divide our forces at this point. My ship can breach the barrier if necessary. I'll stay out here and make some noise to divert Nefarious' attention. If you get cornered, call me and I'll bust in to help you."
"I...don't really like splitting up at this point..." Twilight murmured worriedly. "What if something happens to you?"
"Twilight, I've been taking care of myself in this galaxy for the past two and a half decades," Alister countered. "I can take care of myself quite well. You three have been a team for years as well. This is the most efficient way to handle things. Besides, someone needs to make sure Nefarious doesn't leave the station while we're infiltrating it."
"You make a valid point, General," Clank allowed after a time.
"Doesn't make this feel any less of a bad idea..." Twilight muttered.
"Once Nefarious isn't an issue anymore, we can take the time to help Azimuth if he gets in trouble," Ratchet explained calmly to Twilight. "He's the last threat to the Clock, after all."
"Just because I don't like it doesn't mean I'm going to throw a fuss over it," Twilight countered. "It's your call, Daddy. If you say we do it this way, we'll do it this way."
Ratchet nodded. "We're doing it. Good luck, General."
"You too, Ratchet!" Azimuth called as he directed his ship to peel away.
Aphelion activated her quantum fields, shifting herself to one second out of sync with the rest of the universe, allowing her to pass invisibly through the barrier.
Aphelion landed silently on one of the many linked asteroids surrounding Nefarious' Station. The station itself was a giant effigy of Nefarious head, with a large ring extending outward from where the ears would have been. The asteroids were within the range of the ring, but arranged above and below it.
As Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight leapt out, Qwark contacted them via communicators. "Dad, Mom, Sis, come in! I'm on an asteroid inside the main perimeter. Come meet me as soon as you can."
"We're on our way!" Ratchet replied fervently.
"And I have the food Aphelion made for Snowball miniaturized in my chassis," Clank added, patting his compartment.
"Thanks!" Qwark replied fervently before cutting communications.
"I have triangulated his position," Clank added. "Syncing to nav units now."
With his location locked in, the trio made their way forward carefully through the outer perimeter. The rocky asteroids were covered in pink bioluminescent fungal growths, and the occasional biological hostile. The three heroes easily dealt with any threats with low-energy weaponry that wouldn't draw too much attention from the station, and judicious use of Clank's new Time Bombs. Unfortunately, the path through the asteroids was not very straight forward, and even with Qwark's location marked on their nav units, they were forced to wander around until they found their way forward.
For some reason beyond any of their abilities to comprehend, the region governed by the space station had a breathable atmosphere with enough weight for Twilight to fly in, although she chose not to get too much air so as to avoid drawing attention. The only exceptions were a couple times where Ratchet missed landing on an asteroid and Twilight swooped down to pull him up as he fell.
"...okay, something's bothering me," Twilight muttered after the third such incident.
"Is it my sudden drop in acrobatic ability?" Ratchet suggested. "It's just that I have this weird kink in my tail just now, and-"
"No, not that," Twilight countered. "I can probably figure out why there's an atmosphere in a self-contained asteroid belt. Heck, even there being gravity to work with makes sense. But why is down out into space? Shouldn't it be towards the station or something? What's even down there to pull on us? I can't see anything down there!"
"A caged temporal anomaly," Clank answered as he glanced downward. "Apparently, Nefarious was somehow able to capture a piece of the time wave released when the Clock malfunctioned, and has a gravity cage containing it to analyze it to understand the Clock better."
"Oh," Twilight muttered. "I...guess that could allow for it. Is damaging the station going to cause a problem with that?"
"Negative," Clank assured her. "The anomaly is almost completely spent."
"That's a relief," Ratchet groaned out, massaging the kink out of his tail. "Let's get a move on."
As they continued on, they passed by a Grummel-net vendor, where they acquired a new weapon...the Rift Inducer 5000, which was designed to open an interdimensional rift, allowing an extra-dimensional entity - named 'Fred' by the Grummel-net engineers - to devour any hostile entities in the area.
Further on, they encountered a great deal more mechanical enemies, which the Rift Inducer was surprisingly effective at dealing with. Unfortunately, the sheer numbers were forcing the trio to move in a less and less stealthy manner in order to make progress.
"At this rate, Nefarious is sure to know we're infiltrating," Twilight grumbled. "We might as well have had Aphelion ram the station in mech mode."
"Except then we wouldn't be certain if he was even on the station," Ratchet countered.
"Not to mention Qwark is somewhere here, and might have been hit," Clank added.
"Speaking of Qwark..." Twilight murmured, her eyes wide as she caught sight of her BBBFF...and what he was wearing.
Twilight stared at Qwark, dressed in a tight fitting, fetishistic nurse outfit over his superheroing outfit, complete with red wig and nurse's cap. He also had red lipstick on his lips. "Qwark...what are you wearing?" she demanded, plainly upset.
Qwark scratched the back of his head nervously. "I did say I was deep undercover..."
"Not the outfit!" she countered. "After seeing you crossdress on that taxi call, this is nothing. I mean that!" She pointed straight at Qwark's chest.
"The...fake boobs?" Qwark asked nervously.
"The name tag!" Twilight snapped.
On Qwark's chest was a nametag that read 'Not Captain Qwark'.
"Oh, that," Qwark replied. "Well, I told Nefarious that I hated Captain Qwark so much that I had my name legally changed to 'Not Captain Qwark' so the whole world could know just how much I despised the awful man!(1)" Qwark scratched the back of his head. "So...now, in addition to being Dr. Nefarious' personal masseuse, I'm his third in command, right behind Lawrence...who of course isn't fooled in the slightest but is happy to let Nefarious dig his own hole."
Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank all stared at Qwark, their expressions a mixture of stunned, impressed, and disgusted. "How...complex...did you make the backstory?" Clank asked at last.
"About a hundred pages, so far," Qwark admitted. "Been building it up every time Nefarious asks for me to talk about more reasons why I hate Captain Qwark."
"...that's either very clever or very lucky," Ratchet replied slowly. "I'm not sure which."
"Can we go back to never talking about this again?" Qwark asked worriedly.
"The skirt does make your butt look fat," Twilight piped up.
"I knew it!" Qwark grumbled, snapping his fingers and hefting his blaster.
"I assume you have a plan for getting us inside?" Clank asked.
"Do I ever!" Qwark began, reaching to pull something out of a pocket.
"Then let's implement it and go over your designs when the power of Time itself isn't in jeopardy," Twilight suggested.
"Capital idea!" Qwark proclaimed, leading them to a transport craft.
As the group arrived at the trash compactor in the maintenance section of Nefarious' station, Twilight wrinkled her nose. "...could you have possibly found a worse way in?"
"At least we aren't being crushed by the pistons!" Qwark offered comfortingly.
The pistons began to move.
Twilight stared up at Qwark, flat eyed.
Qwark sighed. "I can confirm no innocent bystanders are aboard the station."
"Then call Snowball." Twilight then lifted her communicator. "Aphelion! Screw sneaking around! It's time to crack this place open like an egg!"
"Understood, Twilight!" Aphelion replied, and a massive explosion rocked the station.
Qwark sat upon Snowball's back, staring out at the ruined wreckage of Nefarious station. "That...that was..."
Twilight smirked as she stood upon one of the last pieces of wreckage. "That was satisfying," she said happily.
"I am currently scanning for signs of Nefarious or Lawrence," Aphelion began. "...I am detecting a single escape pod. Two robotic life forms, only one currently active."
"That would be Lawrence flying an unconscious Nefarious away," Ratchet muttered thoughtfully. "Meaning the last threat to the Great Clock has been neutralized."
Alister's ship flew up into the debris field. "What happened to sneaking?" he asked curiously.
"I changed my mind when Qwark led us into a trash compactor he hadn't disabled," Twilight grumbled. "Besides, watching Snowball and Aphelion tearing this place apart was cathartic."
"Is...Snowball...eating wreckage of the station?" Alister asked worriedly, staring at the mecha war grok stuffing huge chunks of the wreckage into his maw."
"Yes," Qwark replied numbly. "Yes he is."
"If everyone would board, I have set course for the Great Clock," Aphelion intoned.
Once Snowball finished stuffing his face, he climbed inside Aphelion, moving into the back of the ship. Once Qwark, Twilight, Clank, and Ratchet were aboard, Aphelion led the way to the Great Clock.
Ratchet, Twilight, Qwark, and Azimuth stared around in awe as they stepped out aboard the Great Clock. "This place is...amazing," Ratchet murmured.
"It...it's real..." Azimuth murmured, unable to tear his eyes away. "I'd always hoped and prayed...but I'd never imagined I'd actually set foot here..."
"I could spend weeks learning everything this place can do," Twilight breathed eagerly.
Clank blinked. "Weeks?" he demanded irritably.
"I'm being generous," Twilight countered, startling laughter from everyone except Clank.
"So...now it's time to correct the past," Azimuth began.
"No!" Clank insisted. "The Great Clock was entrusted to me by my father Orvus! His last instruction was to not let it be used as a Time Machine!"
"We came all this way to fix what had gone grievously wrong in the past!" Azimuth snapped. "We can save Kaden! We can save Vashiir! We can save everyone!"
"We can risk destroying the universe-"
"Shut up!"
Azimuth and Clank both spun, staring at Twilight in shock.
Twilight took a calming breath. "First off, we are not doing anything with the Clock as far as risking the safety of the universe until I'm sure we can do so safely. And Mommy...trust me." She then turned. "General...give me ten minutes to convince you to reconsider. If at the end of those ten minutes you still feel you must correct the past, I'll figure out how to let you do so safely. If not, we'll pursue alternative avenues of temporal tampering. Deal?"
Azimuth stared at Twilight for a time, then nodded. "Alright," he agreed. "Ten minutes."
Twilight sat calmly at a small table across from Azimuth as Sigmund poured tea for the both of them. "How are you feeling now, General?" she asked softly. "Calm? Relaxed? Open minded?"
Azimuth shrugged as he took a sip of his tea. He then paused, staring into the cup. "...nostalgic," he murmured. "This is exactly how Vashiir brewed tea for Kaden and I back in school..."
"Huh," Twilight murmured. "It's Daddy's favorite blend." Shrugging her shoulders, she settled herself. "Are we ready to begin?"
Azimuth nodded. "Ten minutes."
"Starting now," Twilight confirmed as Sigmund started the timer. "Let us begin with the assumption that I will discover a way to safely send you back in time without tearing the universe apart, whether through modifications of the Clock's hardware or software." She giggled. "After all, if I can't the entire conversation is moot, anyway."
"I can accept that as a stipulation," Azimuth agreed.
"Then there are two possible ways it will send you back to when you want to go," Twilight continued. "Either you as you are now will be physically sent back into the past, or your personal timeline will be collapsed backwards to the point in question. The latter has two ways that could work, so shall we address the former first?"
"Makes sense," Azimuth allowed. "So I'm sent back to before I gave Tachyon access to Lombax technology as I am now. I'd be able to prevent him from gaining access-"
"How?" Twilight interrupted. "It's Past You that's in charge of that, not Present You." When Azimuth hesitated, Twilight pressed on. "As I see it, you'd have only two viable options. Either try to convince your past self to not give Tachyon access, or try to take out Tachyon yourself...in the middle of a Lombax city where the Lomaxes have become dedicated to maintaining the peace. You won't be able to use any weapon that could finish Tachyon off in one hit, and anything less would have Present You locked in jail and give Past You more ammunition to convince the other council members that the military needed to be rebuilt, and Past You would put Tachyon in charge." Twilight paused, waiting for Azimuth to refute her claims.
Azimuth turned her assessment over in his mind. "...I can't find any fault in your logic," Azimuth admitted. "How do you know so much about how we ran our civilization?"
"I used the time viewer to look back in time and watch a few council sessions before we started talking," Twilight explained. "Wasn't sure if my interpretation was dead on till you just told me, though."
Azimuth let out a soft chuckle. "Alright. But there's still trying to convince my Past Self..." Azimuth trailed off. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Just remembering how hard it was to convince you that Daddy was actually a Lombax when we first met you," Twilight offered with a smile.
Azimuth stared at Twilight for a time. "...fair enough," he admitted. He then paused as he stared at something Sigmund was handing him. "...I'm allergic to aloe," he replied simply.
"Apologies, sir," Sigmund replied, putting the burn cream away.
"Now, you were saying there's two ways that collapsing my personal timeline could work?" Azimuth began.
"Yes," Twilight agreed. "It would either work by taking all your memories up till now and implanting it in the mind of your Past Self like a vision of the future, or you'd wake up as your past self. Assuming the former, we're taking a big gamble."
"Why a big gamble?" Alister asked, confused.
"Well, assuming all that information funneling into an organic brain doesn't cause it to explode, there's just as much chance of you shrugging it off as a bad dream, and only a very slim chance of your Past Self actually acting on the information, assuming it even transferred accurately." Twilight sipped her tea as she finished that explanation. "And even then, there's only your Past Self's ability and experience acting on it."
"That's a crap shoot," Azimuth murmured. "And if I wake up back in time as you suggested?"
Twilight smiled. "Then you'll be able to block Tachyon from getting access to military tech...but you'll be in the same rut as far as doing anything beyond that, and Tachyon will just find a different avenue to pursue his revenge against the Lombaxes. Like, for example, offering his services in the medical division, where he'll be able to create a super-virus that will kill all Lombaxes, including Daddy. Then not only does he have access to Lombax military tech, but the Lombaxes don't escape to another dimension, and neither you nor Daddy are there to stop him when he uses the Dimensionator to bring back the Cragmites."
"Then I just have to make sure that he doesn't get access to any Lombax tech!" Azimuth insisted. "I can convince Kaden to help me-"
"How?" Twilight interrupted. "By telling him the whole story?"
"How else would I do it?" Azimuth countered. "Kaden was the one to theorize the Great Clock's existence!"
"And then he has confirmation of his theories," Twilight agreed, nodding.
"See?" Azimuth proclaimed. "It works perfectly-"
"And so does Tachyon," Twilight added.
"W...what?" Azimuth asked, confused.
"There is literally no way you'd be able to prevent the conversation from being overheard," Twilight explained. "And Tachyon is thorough. You suddenly changing your tune about letting him work would make him suspicious. He'd keep track of you, and any information you shared with Kaden about the Great Clock, he'd learn. And then he can pull the same thing Nefarious did here...except more carefully."
"What do you mean by that?" Clank asked curiously.
"He won't use threats," Twilight elaborated. "He'll be the kind, curious, benevolent scientist, seeking to learn and grow...an enlightened Cragmite. Orvus would jump at the chance at working with him, helping him develop."
Sigmund sighed. "Yeah...he would..."
"And that would eventually lead to discussion of the Clock, even if Orvus refused to reveal anything about the Clock's location or controls," Twilight continued. "And Tachyon would learn about the Zoni vulnerability to sonic based weapons - like what Nefarious used to scatter the Zoni - and he'd do the logical thing...tell Orvus about such a glaring weakness in the Clock's security."
"Okay," Ratchet interrupted, taking a sip of his own tea. "I was following you up till now...but how is that logical?"
"Duh!" Qwark interrupted. "Spycraft 101. He's done nothing to make Orvus suspicious, so Orvus would ask him to develop the proper countermeasures. Of course, Orvus himself can't stay and watch, since he's got all these other responsibilities, but he'd assign a few Zoni to assist Tachyon, including testing the devices as they're developed, creating the perfect opportunity for Tachyon to create a sonic device that lets him control the Zoni, including Orvus!" He picked up a handful of cookies. "I used that in one of my movies." He stuffed the cookies in his mouth. "These are delish!"
Twilight smirked. "And if Qwark can come up with such a plot, you can bet Tachyon would be able to carry it out."
"But the Great Clock has built in Quantum Actuators!" Sigmund gasped out. "If you did make hardware modifications to enable Azimuth to travel safely, those modifications would travel back in time as well to maintain quantum stability! If events played out this way, and Tachyon built the device to control all the Zoni..."
"...then doing this would hand Percival Tachyon total control of Time itself..." Azimuth murmured, sinking into his hands. "...you were right, Clank. Nothing is worth risking that." He turned to Ratchet. "I'm sorry Ratchet...I guess we...can't save your parents..."
"Now who said that?" Twilight interrupted.
"But you just-"
"I was explaining why your plan was flawed," Twilight countered. "I haven't even come up with my plan yet. I still need to study the Clock first. Gimme a month for a preliminary investigation and study, and I'll have a basic idea." She grinned widely. "We haven't failed to save Orvus, Kaden, or Vashiir. We've just discovered one more way not to."
Twilight spent the next two months studying the workings of the Great Clock alongside Sigmund and Clank, focusing on the exact manner in which the systems were designed to manipulate time and how the safety systems kept the Great Rift - the tear in the fabric of space time the Clock was originally built to repair - in check. Since her overall goal was to use the clock to save three specific individuals, her focus was specifically on what systems could be utilized without risking damage to the Rift or the Rift Containment Systems...as well as the Rift itself.
During those two months, Ratchet, Azimuth, and Qwark focused on protecting the Clock, observing the universe for any possible threat to the Clock, or anything else they might have to fly out to address. Ratchet also put his skills to use alongside the 117,000 Zoni Twilight had brought back via the capsule, repairing the damage to the clock and restoring its systems to full working capacity. Sigmund made sure all organic beings had everything they needed nutritionally for their stay, doing his best to be a good host.
At the end of the two months, Twilight gathered everyone together in the Orvus Chamber. "Alright," she said firmly. "We're ready to attempt the first stage of the plan."
"Running a little slow, aren't you?" Azimuth teased playfully. "You did say a month. It's been two."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "I could have attempted this a month ago, but I wanted to make sure I'd reduced the margin of error to 1/1000000, instead of 1/100. Besides, it gave Ratchet time to fix a few key systems."
"Glad to know I was helpful," Ratchet offered happily.
"Mommy, Sigmund," Twilight instructed, "I need you to use the time gate on Zanifar to create a stable wormhole between the present now and a specific frozen instant of time." She laid out a few sheets of calculations. "These should enable linking to the frozen moment in question."
"Well...it could work in theory," Sigmund replied as he and Clank got to work. "But once you try to penetrate through time, the time flow rates will sync up. That's not something we can correct."
Twilight grinned widely. "I know," she replied. "I've taken that into account for this stage...and for the second stage, we'll have the help of the experienced expert who gave me this idea." Her hoof reached into her saddlebags, and she touched the egg she'd found so long ago under her pillow, ticking away to the heartbeat of the universe...to the rhythm of the Great Clock.
Sigmund lowered his hands as the rift appeared. "Time gate...open."
Twilight nodded as she braced herself. "And now the tricky part..."
Orvus glared at Dr. Nefarious, fighting through the pain he was experiencing as the villains tried to forcefully scan his brain. "There is only one who will enter my chamber...and he is safe...far from you!"
He began gathering his energy to launch himself through the fabric of time, to randomly return to the time stream somewhen else...if at all. However, as dangerous as this was, he could not allow Nefarious to learn of his son. The time energies began to surround him, the last of his power starting to burn as he was surrounded by a corona of light.
To his surprise, a pale lavender energy lasso slipped over his head and arms, tightening around his waist. "Close it close it close it close it!" a young female voice screamed as he was jerked backwards through a stable time gate that collapsed so quickly he nearly lost a foot. Only long instincts guided him to curl up around the lasso to minimize quantum drift.
His body slammed into something soft and warm, and he found himself staring through lavender hooves and feathers at his chamber. Seeing the portal closing behind him, he couldn't help but chuckle. "And with all I'd seen of you, I thought it was your enemies that had to stop underestimating you, Twilight!"
"Grandpa!" Twilight squealed happily, pulling him tight to her barrel. "It worked!"
"Are you alright, Father?" Clank asked worriedly, approaching eagerly.
"Sir! Did you make it through alright?" Sigmund demanded, just as worried.
Orvus chuckled again. "Nothing a good cup of tea, a relaxing story of how this happened...and a bit more oxygen won't fix." He glanced up at Twilight, amusement strong in his gaze.
Flushing, Twilight released him from her embrace, which had grown progressively tighter with her excitement. "Sorry..."
Twilight took a breath as she finished explaining what they had done. "So, Orvus, I was hoping you could help us with figuring out how to accomplish the same thing we did with you, but this time for Kaden and Vashiir."
Orvus shook his head in wonder. "Linking to a frozen instant of time to pull someone into the future at the moment they ceased to be part of the timeline...I never would have dreamed such a thing was possible."
"What?" Twilight gasped out, shocked. "But it was your idea!"
"I beg your pardon?" Orvus asked, confused.
Twilight pulled out the ticking egg, showing it to him. "This!" she insisted. "It's the Time Egg from the Chrono Trigger video game, but real! A Zoni left it under my pillow in exchange for my first baby tooth that I lost! It's what gave me the idea to save you using the Chrono Trigger method!"
"I'm aware of the game," Orvus admitted. "One of my favorites, actually. But the method won't work for what you want. The energy requirements alone to reach that far back without disruption are prohibitive, not to mention the need for an inorganic entity capable of functioning in frozen time to make the switch. You'd need millions of Zoni just to bridge the gap, not to mention sustaining the energy flow."
"But...but if it won't work, why would you send me the Egg?" Twilight demanded angrily.
"I didn't," Orvus insisted. "It may have been delivered by Zoni hands, but not at my orders."
Twilight sat down heavily, confused beyond belief. "But...but if you didn't do it...then who...?"
"Whee!"
Everyone turned at the sound as a Zoni arrived through a time hole, passing seamlessly without disrupting the time stream. While this wasn't anything interesting in its own right, this same Zoni was already directly overhead fixing some stained glass. Not only that, the Zoni which had just arrived floated straight up to Twilight...and handed her the baby tooth in question.
Orvus chuckled somewhat. "If I'm not mistaken, Twilight Sparkle...you did."
"Wha...bu...how...?" Twilight stammered, holding up the Egg as she stared at her tooth in confusion.
Temporal energy leapt between the tooth and the Egg when they got too close.
Twilight gasped, her eyes lighting up with sparkles. "Of course!" she screamed out. "Now I see it!" She laughed madly as she dashed for the control systems. "Hang on to your hats everyone...because I am about to be brilliant!" She patted her head. "Hang on a second!" She dashed out of the room. "Aphelion you sexy thing, get your tailfins to the Orvus Chamber!"
Aphelion quickly arrived as requested. "You really shouldn't be calling me sexy, Twilight," she chided. "I'm your Aunt."
"Just stating a fact!" Twilight shrieked happily as she dashed back in, wearing a fez and an impractically long multi-colored scarf. "Azimuth, give Sigmund the exact space-time coordinates - as close as you can - that Vashiir died in Tachyon's original attack on Fastoon! Sigmund, use the time viewer to fine tune and program the exact moment before her body was vaporized into the equations for the FTG!(1) Mom, do you remember the coordinates Blue Shift told you?"
"Plug those into the formula for a second FTG!" Twilight ordered. "Orvus, assuming a source of energy sufficient to generate two simultaneous FTGs reaching back that far, would 117,000 Zoni be enough to control the energy flow?"
"With myself at the helm, yes," Orvus agreed. "But who will go to make the swap? And where will you get the 'clone dolls', if you are doing the Chrono Trigger method?"
"Azimuth!" Twilight continued, spinning around. "You have a genetic sample of Kaden and Vashiir on your person? Well preserved?"
Caught in Twilight's intensity, Azimuth pulled out the locket he'd shown to them back when they first met, with the picture of himself and Kaden inside. "Two tufts of tail fur behind the picture!" he called out, tossing it to Twilight.
Catching it in her magic, she threw the locket up to Aphelion. "Protoplasm!"
"Already generating it!" Aphelion shouted out.
"But where will you get the power-" Orvus began.
Before he could finish, Twilight hurled the egg into the air and zapped it with magic, causing it to break open. Raw, unfettered time energy erupted out of it in an unceasing flow. Orvus quickly shot up to guide it, all of the Zoni acting on his instructions to shape it into the two gates.
"Kaden's gate is open!" Clank shouted out.
"Vashiir's gate is open!" Sigmund added, his voice awed.
"Orvus, time stop NOW!" Twilight screamed.
Orvus raised his hands, and time stopped.
Aphelion flew down, aiming herself at the gates. "Clone dolls are complete," she murmured. "Manipulator arms ready. Beginning transfer."
"How?" Orvus asked, stunned. "How are you able to function in frozen time?"
"AS systems upgraded with Zoni energy," Aphelion replied, driving first into one portal, then another. "Start time!"
Orvus quickly lowered his hands as the time energy was expended, the FTGs closed. Pandemonium began to ensue as the barely alive Kaden and Vashiir - the quantum shift had put a strain on their bodies - were rushed to the Great Clock's Temporal Recovery Ward. "It...it worked..." he marveled. "But...but where did you get the energy?"
Smiling, Twilight handed over the fragments of the Egg. "What is this?" she asked, leaving it with him as she carried her baby tooth to the Primary Control Lever.
Orvus studied the fragments. "It's...calcium constructs. Enamel and dentine...charged with chronitons, magic, and...potentia?"
"That's right," Twilight replied as she seized hold of the Control Lever. "It's my baby tooth. A completely organic substance effected by time, but so heavily charged with time energy and raw potentia magic from being the first tooth I lost that time energy can't damage it...making it the perfect container!" Without warning, she pulled the Lever in two, pushing it all the way to Past and Future at once. Rotating the control 90 degrees, she slammed them back together.
"Rift containment field disengaged," the computerized voice of the Clock intoned as the sky overhead tore open, the time rift exploding with raw quantum foam.
"What are you doing?" Orvus demanded in terror.
"Making causality my bitch!" Twilight screamed, casting a spell on her tooth and hurling it into the rift.
Time energy flowed from the rift into the tooth as it changed shape, swirling around itself as it sucked all the excess time energy straight out of the rift. When no more poured out, the Time Egg dropped, forged properly, right into Twilight's hoof. With a kick, she spun the Control Lever around.
"Engaging Quantum repairs," the computer intoned as the reduced rift began to spin around itself. "...Space-Time repaired."
Twilight grinned as she held up the Time Egg. "Ta-da-" Her words stopped, her horn and ears sparked, her eyes rolled up into her head, and she slumped to the ground, Orvus only just barely catching the Egg as it fell.
"Is...is she alright?" Qwark asked worriedly, Ratchet and Azimuth having rushed after Sigmund and Clank to the Temporal Recovery Wing. "What happened to her?"
Orvus floated forward and placed his free hand against Twilight's head. "...arrogant fool," he muttered. "Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should."
"Orvus?" Qwark asked worriedly.
"She's fine," Orvus replied. "She used her magic to Quantumly Entangle her mind with itself elsewhere in her own timestream in order to increase her available brain power, letting her think in the fourth, fifth, and sixth dimensions. But a three-dimensional mind like hers isn't designed to handle that...so when she was finished, the recoil knocked her out. Get her to the Temporal Recovery Wing. She should wake up...a little before Kaden and Vashiir do."
Nodding, Qwark lifted Twilight and rushed off.
Orvus stared at the ticking Egg in his hand before summoning the proper Zoni. "You know when to return to, yes?" he asked softly.
"Whee!" the Zoni replied, taking the Egg and warping away.
Orvus chuckled indulgently. "It seems I was mistaken, Twilight," he murmured. "I just hadn't already sent it yet."
(1) Frozen Time Gate, Twilight's term for a portal opened to a frozen moment of time.
Kaden groaned as he felt sensation returning to his body. "...did somebody get the number of that starship?" he grunted, trying and failing to lift a hand to his head to rub it.
"...Kaden?"
His ears perked up as he heard that familiar, musical voice. "Vashiir?" He immediately rolled over in an attempt to get to her, only to fall off the med table he was laying on and land flat on his face as his body refused to cooperate. He could hear laughter from nearby, but it wasn't Vashiir or any other voice he recognized, so it wasn't important yet.
"Kaden?" Vashiir asked worriedly. "Are you alright?"
"Just fine dear," Kaden mumbled into the metal floor. "I just seem to be suffering from some sort of metabolic imbalance and my body is refusing to function. But not to worry. I'll drag myself to you." He attempted once again to move his arms, only to get very little movement. "...it appears my arms are not cooperating. I guess I'll just have to cobble a mech suit together from nearby material to carry me to you."
"...sweetie, you just told me your arms weren't working," Vashiir pointed out.
Kaden thought about that for a time. "Well, my mind seems to be working, so I'll construct a device to manipulate my tools with my thoughts!"
"Your arms still aren't working," Vashiir pointed out.
Kaden pursed his lips. "...gimme a minute, I'm sure I'll come up with something..."
More familiar laughter echoed in his ears. "Or you could just ask me for help."
"Alister?" Kaden asked, stunned. As he was lifted to a more upright position, his eyes opened and he caught sight of his old friend. "...you look old! How much did you have to drink last night?"
Alister facepalmed as Vashiir laughed. "Kaden...what's the last thing your remember?" he groaned.
"Well, I remember hiding Ratchet before Tachyon was about to kill me," Kaden explained easily, "but that memory has Vashiir being dead shortly after giving birth. But she's plainly alive, so it must have been a bad dream because we drank too much last night. Where are we, anyway?"
A young sounding female voice burst into laughter. "Okay, Daddy, now I'm glad you take more after Grandma!"
"Me too, Twi," another male voice said. Another Lombax - familiar and yet unfamiliar - slipped under Kaden's other arm, smiling up at him. "Let me give you a hand, Dad."
"Dad?" Kaden asked, confused. "Wait...Ratchet, is that you? When'd you grow up so much?"
"Ratchet?" Vashiir asked, stunned. "My baby?"
Ratchet helped Kaden over to the med table where Vashiir was laid out. "Hey Mom," Ratchet said softly, his voice thick with emotion. Vashiir seemed to be built much the same as Angela was - save she still had her tail - with copper fur with brass highlights, with golden eyes and a soft smile.
Vashiir smiled up at Ratchet, lifting a hand to caress his cheek. "My baby...all grown up. I...I missed so much..."
Kaden blinked as he managed to look around. "Umm...I'm still trying to figure out what's going on..."
"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" a kindly voice asked as a quasi-energy being with bright blue eyes floated up, smiling widely.
"A Zoni!" Kaden shouted in surprise, letting go of Alister and Ratchet and promptly falling onto his back. "...I'm okay!" he called out, lifting an arm to hold up one finger. "Oh hey, my arms are working! Time to build that headset so my arms not working isn't a hindrance. ...hang on..."
The Zoni burst into chuckles. "Oh, I like this one," he said playfully. "My name is Orvus. Welcome to the Great Clock."
Kaden blinked. "...huh. Okay, gimme a minute to rethink my assumptions...whose bitch is causality?"
The unfamiliar feminine giggle from before came again. "Mine, Grandpa!"
"Grandpa?" Kaden asked, shocked. "Ratchet, you've got a kid? Help me meet her-whoa!" Kaden found himself suspended in a lavender aura as he was lifted into the air. "This isn't technological gravity manipulation. The field's too exact and lacks the impersonal touch of machine generated. But the control is much too accurate for any known telekinetic sophont-"
"Ahem."
Looking up, Kaden noticed the figure whose horn glowed with the same aura that surrounded him giving him an irritated glare. "Right! Granddaughter!" Kaden remembered, paying closer attention to the figure before him. "...you're a pony."
"And you're a kitty," the figure countered.
"I meant no offense!" Kaden offered quickly. "Merely stating facts."
"Me too!" the filly replied. "I'm Twilight Sparkle!"
"Oh, my Granddaughter sounds adorable!" Vashiir squealed. "I need to see her!"
"Let me help you up!" Kaden called out, trying and failing to push himself through the air. "Oh, right, levitating. Now where's my wrench..."
"Let me help you, Mom," Ratchet offered, helping his mother to her feet.
"Well, you certainly grew up strong and dutiful, son," Vashiir offered with a smile. "I'm happy to see that, even if I missed most of it."
"Any more family for us to meet?" Kaden asked Twilight.
"That's Mommy!" Twilight proclaimed happily, pointing at a green eyed robot.
"I am Clank," the robot offered. "I am Orvus' son, and heir to the Great Clock."
"And that's my BBBFF-"
"Big Brother Best Friend Forever?" Vashiir translated as Kaden's eyes went to the large, waving, green man.
"That's right!" the man confirmed. "I'm Captain Qwark!"
Kaden glanced around at the family members, then pursed his lips in thought as he began muttering calculations.
"Adopted?" Vashiir asked, smiling softly as she gestured to Twilight and Qwark.
"Yeah," Ratchet replied.
"Oh," Kaden piped up, nodding firmly. "That makes much more sense than what I'd come up with so far."
"I'm sure it must be an interesting story," Vashiir suggested. "Since we have a great deal we need to catch up on since we've been pulled forward..." She glanced towards Alister. "How far?"
"27 years," Alister explained.
"That long..." She shook her head in amazement. "Well, perhaps we could start with the stories of your lives?"
Ratchet smiled widely. "It's a long story..." As Zoni began bringing seating arrangements and snacks for everyone, he chuckled. "Well, it all begins on Veldin, under the care of a nurse-bot I called Nana..."
As the story reached its end, Kaden, Vashiir, and even Alister were completely awed. Being in the Great Clock made storytelling a truly immersive experience, as Orvus was able to call up the image of the actual events for all present to watch it happen. Despite the story being interrupted no less than 13 times for Twilight and Kaden to 'geek out' over various inventions and developments - it had taken a full hour to drag them away from Twilight's 'wrench saber' - the whole group finally made it through the emotional roller coaster of Ratchet, Clank, Twilight, and Qwark's lives together. Well before the tale reached its conclusion, Twilight was firmly ensconced in Vashiir's lap, being given motherly comforting caresses and mane and tail brushes. The events of Bogon, the Dreadzone, and the Technomites had been rough for Twilight to relive, and Vashiir had focused all her attention on helping her through it.
"You've had quite the adventurous life," Kaden said finally. "Saved three different galaxies multiple times, a loving family, and three separate ladies in pursuit of your affections?" He shook his head in wonder. "I can barely handle one. How'd you do it?" He quickly ducked a swipe at the back of his head from Vashiir.
Ratchet chuckled nervously. "It kinda sorta just happened," he admitted nervously, still unsure how to handle talking about such things with his parents.
"I helped!" Twilight piped up happily, causing Clank and Qwark to chuckle.
"Well, it's nice to know things are going well with you and Angela," Vashiir murmured. "Lorna was a dear friend of mine, and it's a relief to know she's got a bright future."
"And it's good to know Talwyn's getting along with you as well," Kaden added. "Had my original backup plan in case of events like Tachyon's assault pulled through, you'd have grown up with her."
"Although I have to say," Alister spoke up, "that Sasha is really something. I mean, I'd heard Cazars could be real wildcats, but...well, do I need to say anything?"
"Definitely not," Ratchet groaned, face in his hands. Kaden's idly curious inquiry about how well Ratchet fared in keeping the women in his life 'happy' had led to Orvus playing footage of himself and Sasha together for the whole group to see. He didn't know if he or Twilight was more mortified when that happened...or when Kaden started taking notes of things to try with Vashiir once they were fully recovered.
"The less said there, the better," Twilight grumbled. "I knew way too much about that already..."
Vashiir chuckled softly, gently stroking Twilight's mane. "Sorry, both of you," she offered apologetically. "Even if it is the parents' duty to embarrass the children, it's supposed to be with stories, not...this." She sighed sadly. "Even if we weren't there to hear the childhood stories..."
Ratchet stood with a smile, walking up to embrace her. "You're here now," he affirmed. "That's what matters."
Vashiir happily returned the embrace. "Thank you, Ratchet," she said gratefully, holding him close. After a time, she released him. "So-"
"Grandpa!" Twilight shouted angrily. "Stop tinkering with the viewer! It works just fine the way it is!"
"But I want to know how it works!" Kaden insisted. "And maybe I can improve on it!"
"Orvus had all of time to draw on to build this place!" Twilight countered. "Including everything you might ever build from being here! How do you expect to improve on developments you haven't already made yet?"
"I won't know until I try!" Kaden replied.
"Stop making that sound so appealing!" Twilight snapped back.
"Aren't you going to do anything, Father?" Clank asked curiously.
"Why?" Orvus inquired. "Either they will find some way to improve, or I can restore the machine from whatever they do to it with a single wave of a Chronoscepter. Where, exactly, is the downside of letting them experiment?"
"Twilight has magic," Clank pointed out.
"That's what makes things interesting!" Orvus insisted.
Vashiir chuckled, shaking her head. "So...when do we get to meet these girls, Ratchet?"
Ratchet scratched the back of his head. "As soon as I can arrange it," he insisted. "The only question is where and when."
"Either here or many years from now," Sigmund offered consolingly. "I'm afraid there are...long term side effects from Twilight's games with time."
"What do you mean?" Ratchet demanded worriedly. "I thought it all worked out well!"
"The problem is that all three of them are temporally out of sync with the rest of the universe," Sigmund explained. "That's what happens when you instantly shift over several years in frozen time. It's no problem for Orvus, since Zoni are naturally out of sync with the rest of time - it's how most of their abilities work - and it's no problem for Aphelion since she has a Quantum Actuator or a dozen built in. But for Kaden and Vashiir..." He shook his head sadly. "The Actuators in the Clock have been set to slowly adjust them back into sync with present chronality, but if they leave the Clock before the process is finished...all 20 plus years of skipped time will catch up to them all at once, and the momentum will just keep going. They'll...they'll be dust in moments." He shrugged. "And with so much rift energy involved, there's no way to predict how long the adaption process is going to take."
Ratchet sighed sadly, looking away.
"So you're saying instead of being dead, we have forced retirement in the most fascinating space station ever to exist where we can both watch and interact with Ratchet and his family at any time, since Aphelion is installed with a fully functional Obsidian Eye communications system?" Vashiir asked logically.
Sigmund blinked. "Well, umm...yes. I admit I hadn't thought to look at it that way."
"Are...are you sure you're okay with that Mom?" Ratchet asked worriedly.
"Ratchet," Vashiir chided gently, "we're in the pinnacle of science and magic for all of space and time. We can see any part of reality we want, complete with VR generators so accurate the only way you can tell it's not real is when the hurled Frisbee bounces off the invisible wall. Kaden and I have each other, and we can talk to you whenever we want as long as you're in communication range of Aphelion." She smiled widely. "That's an ideal retirement, and we're guaranteed to never get bored."
"So that's where I get my philosophical leanings," Ratchet offered with a chuckle. "Still...it'll mean it's going to be a while before you meet the girls..."
"You could bring them here," Orvus offered. "They are family to you. You are family to Clank, who is family to me. Ergo, they are family as well, and can be trusted with the secrets of the Clock."
"See?" Vashiir chided Ratchet. "Problem solved."
As Ratchet grinned widely, Clank aired his own concerns. "Are you certain it is wise to let Angela loose around the delicate machinery, Father?" he asked worriedly.
Orvus grinned widely. "And now you know why I've let Kaden and Twilight run free to experiment," he countered, lightly booping Clank where his nose would have been if he had one.
Aphelion made her way to her destination, where her bio-scanners showed her the only Lombax life sign off the Great Clock. It was a safe bet that would be Angela Cross, and last she had checked Angela was with - or at least knew the locations of - Sasha Phyronix and Talwyn Apogee. This was the first time she'd been given such a long solo mission, taking her nearly an entire galaxy away from Ratchet and Twilight, and she wanted to do well.
"Personal report," Aphelion muttered in her circuits. "I am in the proper range for locating my three incipient sisters-in-law, and am certain to be locating them soon...I have a lock!" She zoomed in on the location. "I have detected a Lombax, a Cazarian, and a Markazian...entering a bar." Aphelion paused as she hovered over the establishment. "...there's a joke in here somewhere...and I can't help but think it's on my brother."
"Hey!" someone in a hovercraft screamed out angrily. "No parking in the thoroughfares, moron!"
Immediately converting to her mecha form, Aphelion grabbed hold of the offending craft. "Care to say that to my face?" she asked coldly.
The pilot screamed in terror, running away as fast as he could.
Aphelion shifted back to ship mode. "...that felt good," she murmured to herself. "Now...how to get those three out of the bar...preferably without excess collateral damage." She began to circle the bar, looking for an opportunity. "...hmm...the bar's interior dimensions...if I fold my wings in, I should just fit..."
Aphelion folded her wings into her cockpit, then initiated her quantum shift, vanishing to reappear inside the bar, hovering over the billiards table. "Wow. This place is old school," she muttered.
"Aphelion?" Talwyn gasped out. "Is...is that you?"
"Like the new look, Miss Apogee?" Aphelion teased. "I'm here to pick you three up!"
"...why is the ship talking?" Sasha asked worriedly.
"And how did it-"
"She," Talwyn corrected quickly.
"...she warp into here?" Angela demanded.
"I am Aphelion, prototype Lombax Artificial Soul craft from the Angel Project, created by Kaden Gyro," Aphelion introduced herself. "Since upgraded with Zoni capabilities, with the ability to warp space and time."
Angela stared in shock. "I feel like I should be terrified. Whose ship are you now?"
"I fly for my family; Ratchet, Twilight, Clank, and Qwark," Aphelion explained.
"And now I know we should be," Sasha joked. "So...you're here to pick us up?"
"Yup! It's time for you three to meet Ratchet's parents!" Aphelion offered proudly as she popped open her canopy.
"But...but they're dead!" Talwyn gaped as Sasha and Angela started pulling her into the ship.
"I've stopped being surprised at the things that happen to Ratchet," Angela explained. "Especially if Zoni were involved."
"I'm guessing it was more Twilight than Zoni," Sasha offered, clambering into the ship. "Well, time to make a good first impression on his folks."
"Oh, they like you already," Aphelion told her. "Orvus used a time-view window to let them see your 'sparring sessions' with Ratchet. Daddy took notes!" She quickly extended a grapple arm from inside her cockpit to pull Sasha back in by her tail before she could run for it. "Here we go!"
Closing the canopy, Aphelion warped out of the bar and into space before setting course for the Great Clock.
"...you have an obstacle course in here?" Talwyn gasped out.
"Zoni upgrades are best upgrades!" Aphelion confirmed as she gunned her engines.
Angela, Sasha, and Talwyn stared around in awe as they stepped into the Great Clock. The location itself was enough to stun them, but behind their awed expressions, each of them had their own thoughts, their own feelings.
Talwyn was the calmest of the trio. It's alright, Talwyn. It's no big deal, really. You're just going to meet the parents of the guy you're massively crushing on. It's not that big of a deal. You've already met his girlfriend who's happy - eager even - to share him, and the other girl involved, and the three of you get along well. How bad could this be? Admittedly, it'd be nice if Cronk and Zephyr were here to back me up...but Twilight's here somewhere, right? That ought to be okay.
Sasha was fluctuating between terror and mortification. It's okay, Sasha. You've got nothing to be afraid of. It's just Ratchet's parents. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. You were Captain of your own starship, President of an entire galaxy, and helped Ratchet save the day a couple of times. There's nothing they could possibly hold against you...except for the crazy things you and Ratchet did in the bedroom. Which they liked! ...or at least took notes on... I am so dead...
Angela was incredibly tense as she walked very, very carefully. Okay Angela...you're going to be meeting up with Vashiir again. Last time you saw her, your Mom was telling you how a speculative assignation between you and Vashiir's not yet born son had been set up, and that you'd be very good friends. She only knew you as a little girl, and is now going to be judging you as a possible mate for her son whom you already promised to be a harem member of...a promise you actually want to keep now that you've seen what he's capable of and gotten to know the other two prospective members. But you're also meeting in the Great Clock, the most important and delicate construction in the history of...well, history. So whatever you do, Angela...do not trip!
"Hey Angela!" Twilight called out from a side room. "Grandpa, Grandpa and I were able to pluck your tail out of the timestream just after you cut it off to hide from Tachyon. Take your clothes off and get in here so I can use magic to reattach it before Daddy spanks you with a Chronoscepter to make the tail's timestream catch up with the rest of you to be normal sized!"
Angela wasn't sure if the face fault was the result of her clumsiness or just how out there that statement was. Either way, all three girls breathed a deep sigh of relief. After all, how awkward could this meeting really be with Twilight involved?
At Orvus' suggestion, the meeting between Ratchet's parents and his prospective mates took place in the Great Clock's medical wing, specifically the built in hot spring. Since of those present, the only one with any sort of cultural nudity taboo was Ratchet, making the meeting quite comfortable for all involved as they symbolically 'hid nothing'.
It was a relief to the three girls to know that neither Kaden nor Vashiir had any intention of sticking their oar in as far as Ratchet's love life, and were perfectly happy with the three of them being Ratchet's harem...well, after Vashiir had gotten Angela to bio-scan Sasha and Talwyn to make sure they were cross-compatible with Lombaxes. Apparently, they really wanted more grandchildren.
Once the explanation of how they were alive again was accepted - and Angela and Talwyn stopped throwing questions at Twilight - Sasha spoke up with news from their end. "There's something you all should know," she explained. "In the last election in Solana, someone started a write-in election campaign...and Captain Qwark won by a landslide."
Ratchet spat his drink out into the water. "How?"
"The write-in campaign had Twilight as his running mate," Sasha continued.
"Oh, okay, that makes sense," Ratchet admitted.
"But I don't want to go back to Solana yet!" Twilight complained.
"I don't think you'll have to," Angela pointed out. "I got a message from Mr. Fizzwidget. Apparently, aside from the villainous plot aspect, Megacorp actually did exceptionally well while Qwark was pretending to be Fizzwidget, leading to several big corporate folks concluding that Qwark has untapped leadership potential. He's been elected President of Bogon as well, with you as his VP."
Twilight groaned and facehooved. "How are we supposed to run two galaxies?" she demanded angrily.
"I'm afraid it gets worse," Sigmund spoke up as he served drinks. "A similar campaign started in Polaris and connected clusters. Given your roles in taking down Tachyon and Nefarious...you and Captain Qwark have been elected Vice President and President of this galactic sector as well."
"But...but that's the entire known universe!" Ratchet pointed out. "And Qwark's President of...all of it?"
"I just finished telling him that," Sigmund explained.
At that moment, the lights all went out, and a spotlight shone down. Captain Qwark appeared in the light, dressed as Elvis Presley complete with pompadour, his hands above his head displaying 'v for victory' finger positions. He then began to sing as music played.
"Here~ I am! Born better than a King! I'm the President of the U~niverse!"
He then proceeded to headbang while changing from finger Vs to devil horns. He then looked up with a grin. "What do you all think?" he asked eagerly. "Good intro for my first Presidential Press Release?"
Everyone groaned. "Who the heck would think making Qwark President of the entire known universe was a good idea?" Angela groaned.
Stuart Zurgo cackled wickedly as he rubbed his hands together. "Yes! YES! My plan is complete! Qwark is now President of the entire known universe! When he inevitably bungles and makes a mess of everything, everyone will know and see him for the impotent fool he is! There will be nowhere left for him to hide or rebuild! I shall have my revenge for his betrayal! Fall, false hero, fall!" He continued to cackle madly. "This is even better than trying to conquer the galaxy to make him fail in defeating me! Making Twilight Sparkle his running mate meant I barely had to lift a finger!"
Rubbing her forehead, Twilight spoke up. "BBBFF, just...promise me you'll let me help you write the parody song lyrics, okay?"
"Of course, LSBFF!" Qwark promised readily. "There's way more riding on this than I can even comprehend! I wouldn't dream of making any big decisions for this without consulting you first."
Stuart shivered as he logged onto the villain forums, a strange feeling overcoming him. He decided to type it into the chat.
TheAntiQwark: Say, anyone else ever get the feeling that your greatest villainous scheme ever just got spoked by a tiny pony that didn't even know you were trying to be villainous?
It wasn't long before he got a response.
Nefarious: Yeah, you get used to that real quick in this business...
Orvus leaned back with a smile as he settled into his favorite easy chair, turning on the galactic viewer to actual HV for the first time in ages. He'd finally caught up on everything he'd missed in the two years he hadn't been in the normal space time continuum for, and things in the Great Clock had finally quieted down enough that he could watch some holo-vision uninterrupted. Sigmund was skilled enough to handle the Clock without Orvus looking over his shoulder 24/7, Kaden, Vashiir, and Alister proved to be competent help in their own right - as long as Vashiir or Alister kept an eye on Kaden - and most of the other guests had left for one reason or another.
As the screen turned on, the channel logo zoomed in. "Good evening," a voice greeted from the television. "I'm Kip Darling, and you're watching continued coverage of...the search for a supervillain!"
As this was followed by an artistic representation of Dr. Nefarious, Orvus decided to stay tuned in, just to see what was on. As the screen shifted to show two figures he knew quite well, he chuckled. "This will be fun to watch."
"Joining us via satellite," Kip Darling continued, "are Ratchet and Clank, two of the heroes who defeated Dr. Nefarious over two years ago. Ratchet, Clank, thank you for coming."
"Thank you for having us, Kip," Clank replied, settling easily into his chair as Ratchet flopped into his own, his whole frame projecting exhaustion.
"First he was dead," Kip began. "Then he was status unknown. Now authorities have upgraded Dr. Nefarious to Alive and At Large. Will Ratchet and Clank join the search team?"
"I'm afraid I'm not available for any heroing anytime soon," Ratchet mumbled, rubbing his forehead and yawning.
"We've, uh, noticed you seem unusually tired," Kip Darling spoke up. "Are you unwell?"
"Oh, I'm fine," Ratchet replied. "I've just...well, I have three beautiful ladies in my life, all of whom I care deeply about and who care deeply about me...and each other."
"I believe I speak for the entirety of our male viewership when I call you a lucky dog-er, cat," Kip replied. "But how does this explain your exhaustion?"
"All three of them are...exceptionally eager to give my recently ressurected parents the extra grandkids they desperately want," Ratchet explained.
"...uh..."
"Twilight did it, do not ask," Clank explained.
"Right," Kip agreed. "Still, I'm not sure-"
"All three of them want to be first to grant my parents' wishes," Ratchet explained wearily. "...got any painkillers and energy drinks?"
"I...take it your lady friends are...exceptionally energetic?" Kip Darling asked worriedly.
"Any further details and you could not broadcast for general audiences," Clank translated.
"Right!" Kip agreed. "I can fully understand why this has left you with no energy for saving the universe, and I'm sure we'll all be better off one day from your efforts to restore the Lombax race."
"No need to make it sound so noble," Ratchet grunted, a smile on his face. "It's not like I'm not enjoying it..."
"Moving right along!" Kip continued on screen as Orvus howled with laughter from watching. "I take it you will be counting on your adopted son, President of the Universe Qwark to handle the hunt for Nefarious?"
"Between him and his sister, Nefarious is as good as found," Ratchet mumbled.
"We have utmost confidence in the President and Vice President," Clank confirmed. "We believe it is time and past that they step out from under our shadow as heroes in their own right."
"Yeah..." Ratchet agreed. "They won't rest until Nefarious is captured, knowing Twilight."
"Which reminds me," Clank added. "I'll need to arrange for someone to make certain Twilight doesn't overdo it...again."
"Speaking of which, let's check in with President Qwark and Vice President Twilight...at the presidential compound in Meridian City!"
As the camera view shifted, President Qwark could be seen...slumped over his desk and snoring away, with Twilight curled up on his back adding her own cute snores to the cacophony.
"Hmm...maybe we shouldn't disturb them..." Kip Darling began.
At the sound of that voice, Twilight raised her head. "Oh...right...Search for Supervillain interview..." She hopped down from Qwark's back onto the desk, brushing off her tiny business skirt-suit before nudging Qwark. "BBBFF, interview time."
"But you said we could take a nap since we got ahead in the paperwork..." Qwark grumbled. "We pulled an all-nighter balancing the inter-galactic budget to cover all new programs and clear out half the standing deficit..."
"And now we get to tell people what a good job we're doing," Twilight explained, rubbing her eyes.
"Oh! Right!" Qwark sat up, quickly clearing the sand from his eyes and smoothing his own business suit. "Is there something we can do for you?"
"The Polaris Defense Force claims that Lawrence escaped with Nefarious before the destruction of his space station," Kip Darling began.
"This is true," Qwark confirmed. "Nefarious did indeed escape from the station alive. We're aware of this, and have plans for handling him if and when he strikes again."
"If and when he strikes again?" Kip Darling asked, surprised. "What about measures to track him down?"
"None whatsoever," Qwark affirmed.
"...don't you think that's highly irresponsible?"
"Let me handle this one," Twilight began. "This policy was my idea, after all."
"So you do have a plan then, Vice President Twilight?" Kip inquired.
"Of course!" Twilight replied. "After careful analysis of Nefarious and Lawrence' psychological profiles, I've come to the conclusion that neither will do anything to damage the infrastructure of any galaxy unless they can do so in a spectacular manner, drawing attention to the fact that it's Nefarious behind it. As such, the priority is the construction of emergency instantaneous transmission ports at all population centers to allow for heroes or troops to be deployed immediately to any world the moment it comes under attack by Nefarious." She glanced away. "While the theory is sound and practical applications of such methods have been proven to work...stabilizing the devices for such long range transportation is proving a bit more difficult."
"Well...it certainly seems like you know what you're doing," Kip Darling replied. "Can we count on you to be on the scene should Nefarious once more engage his hostile endeavors?"
Twilight rubbed her chin. "Well, I'm not sure. Someone has to mind the store after all..." She shrugged. "However, I guarantee, should Nefarious rise again, he will be dealt with in the most effective and efficient manner available."
"Thank you, Vice President Twilight," Kip replied as the screen went dark. "Coming up...ten million ways your loofa sponge...can kill you!"
Chuckling, Orvus turned off the viewer. "500 bolts says Nefarious makes a move before the month is out," he joked.
"Sucker bet," Vashiir replied from nearby, smirking.
Auto-pilot slowly and carefully brought the Lombax fighter in for landing at the starport of Luminopolis. As the cockpit opened, Qwark reached the end of the acceptance speech he was practicing. "-in conclusion, I humbly accept this award for subduing the insidious Light-Eating Z'Grute against near impossible odds!" He gently lifted himself out of the ship and set himself down on the ground. "How was that, Twilight?"
"Not bad," Twilight admitted as she hopped out. "But...when did you fight this...Light-Eating Z'Grute anyway? I'm pretty sure we'd remember something like that."
"You are the one who told me my skills were reaching the point that, with the right amount of self-confidence, I could do hero work in my sleep," Qwark countered. "And we have been sleeping a lot ever since we started in on all that paperwork."
"You seriously think you took out a giant monster in your sleep?" Azimuth demanded as he leapt out of his ship, spear strapped to his back. "I thought Ratchet said you were learning to reign in your ego."
"Well no need to be rude about it," Qwark complained. "I have fought giant monsters before after all. And any chance your ship could get Aphelion's upgrades? That canopy is cramped!"
"Sorry, BBBFF," Twilight apologized. "Without an AS installed, there's no internal force to guide, shape, and control the Zoni related tech. Without it, the Quantum Drive would run out of control and supernova in a brand new time rift...and then we'd need another Great Clock."
"Alternatively, you could lose some weight," Azimuth grumbled.
"Where do you get off talking to me like that?" Qwark complained. "You're not my father!"
"No, but Ratchet asked me to make sure you two remembered to take care of yourselves," Azimuth countered. "While I'm not happy about being somewhere between a bodyguard and a babysitter, I'll do the job since you are family."
"Do you think you two could drop that already so I can enjoy the sight of the city?" Twilight snapped. "I've never been here before!"
"Sorry," Qwark and Azimuth apologized.
Smiling, Twilight glanced around at the soaring buildings, dark blue night sky, and the thousands of lights shining everywhere. "It's rather pretty, isn't it?" she asked mildly. "Pity it's probably going to all be destroyed by the time we leave."
"Twilight, I know we talked about how there was a 99.9% probability that this was a trap, likely set by Nefarious, but do you have to be such a downer about it?" Qwark pleaded. "I mean, your very existence is proof that that 0.1% happens sometimes, right?"
"Last I checked, being the jaded veteran always expecting the worst was my job," Azimuth added.
"But it's the Intergalactic Tool of Justice Award!" Twilight complained. "Seriously, Tool? Would any sort of award call someone stupid, useless, or socially inept?"
"Maybe it means that my greatest effectiveness is when I have someone to point me in the right direction," Qwark countered. "In essence, making me the right tool for the job. Say, someone like you, LSBFF?"
Twilight stared at her BBBFF, her jaw hanging. "Did...did you just make a valid logical point?"
"I know, right?" Qwark squealed proudly. "I've been working on that one all week!"
"Somehow, I doubt it will hold up," Azimuth stated, pointing forward. "I'm pretty sure that's the mouth of a paralyzed Light-Eating Z'Grute that the acceptance podium is set up in."
Indeed, the massive fanged maw that surrounded the podium was as large as a train, and the rest of the beast was just as massive in scale, with huge hands that reared up over the ground. Dark blue stony skin covered most of its body, and glowing bright blue eyes stared blankly forward.
Qwark stared at it for a bit. "Maybe it's the one I defeated?" he suggested lamely. "It is...kinda symbolic if that's the case..."
"Also, Nefarious and Lawrence are directly above us in the light/camera pod," Twilight indicated, glancing up from her Nav-com read out.
"Aw, come on!" Nefarious complained. "I had this whole big speech prepared and everything! Why'd you have to go and spoil it all? I've been working on this for months!"
"It is pretty obvious..." Twilight began.
"Will it make you feel any better if I go stand at the podium and let you make your speech?" Qwark offered.
"What?" Twilight demanded, shocked beyond belief.
"What?" Nefarious gasped, nearly as stunned. "You'd...you'd really do that?"
"Sure!" Qwark replied eagerly. "I well know the frustration of having a plan you've worked on for a long time blown right out of the water in the first few minutes. And what else do we have? Shooting each other until someone falls? That's hardly very dramatic or impressive! Won't do anything for the polls."
"You're...seriously going to put your life in unnecessary danger just to get higher ratings?" Azimuth asked, confused.
"Uncle, in my heroing career, I was a movie star before I was a politician," Qwark countered. "Do you really have to ask?"
Azimuth worked his jaw a bit, trying to come up with a counter argument.
"And Twilight," Qwark continued, "aren't you the one who said I should try and find ways to resolve situations other than immediately punching my way through?"
"So I'll just duck back in here," Nefarious offered, hiding in the light/camera pod again, "and you step up to the podium and call for House Lights, and then I'll leap out and do my big speech and pretend this part never happened?"
"Sounds like a plan!" Qwark agreed. "Camera's not on yet, right?"
"Lawrence?" Nefarious asked quickly.
"The camera will not be engaged until the lights are, sir," Lawrence replied readily.
Nefarious braced himself to leap out...but stuck his head back out. "I'm still going to be trying to kill you once I give the speech, though," he added. "Not gonna pull any punches just because you let me have this."
"No more am I for you giving me warning," Qwark agreed as he made his way to the podium.
Twilight shook her head in stunned disbelief. "Is...what is this?" she demanded, confused. "I thought Qwark was Nefarious' nemesis, and vice versa?"
"When two foes have fought each other often enough, a certain amount of mutual respect builds up," Lawrence explained. "When seen from the outside perspective, it can be...confusing."
"You said a mouthful," Azimuth grumbled. "I'm guessing Qwark will throw a hissy fit if I just shoot Nefarious out of the sky before this gets started?"
"Probably a full blown tizzy," Twilight admitted, sitting down. "We might as well just enjoy the show until we start blasting..."
Qwark happily took his place behind the podium and under the cryo-sleep frozen Z'Grute. "House lights!" he called out with a smile, clapping his hands.
Nefarious leapt atop his little pod as Lawrence turned the light and camera on. "Well hello, Mister President!" he shouted through a megaphone. "So kind of you to accept my invitation!"
Twilight and Alister exchanged glances as Nefarious and Qwark paused. "So...are they waiting for us to do something?"
"I think this is the part where Ratchet was supposed to say something, except he's not here," Qwark whispered.
"Rather inconsiderate of him," Nefarious grumbled, keeping his mouth away from the microphone.
"Really, Dr. Nefarious?" Alister groused. "I know you're compensating for how small your new station is, but you really have to pause to let your opponents taunt you?"
"Oh, you're hysterical!" Nefarious countered, flashing Alister a thumbs up outside the view of the camera. "Let's see you crack jokes from inside the digestive tract...of a Z'Grute!" He spun. "LAWRENCE!"
"Oh goody," Lawrence replied in his usual monotone, holding up a gun like device. "I get to reanimate something." Pulling the trigger, the device released a wave at the Z'Grute, causing it to slowly thaw from Cryo Stasis as Nefarious cackled maniacally.
"So you're going to unleash the Z'Grute on us," Twilight spoke up. "I assume you have some way to keep this Light Eating monstrosity from going after all the energy inside your robotics? Your pod is giving off a great deal of light, after all."
"But of course, Twilight Sparkle!" Nefarious countered, reaching into the pod and pulling out a strange device. "I studied the beast's nervous system for months to perfect a device that could interact with both its brain and a standard RC remote! With this attached to the Z'Grute's head, it will be completely under my control!"
"That's amazing!" Twilight gasped out eagerly. "Creating something like that must have been incredibly difficult!"
"Yes, I know, I'm a genius!" Nefarious bragged as the Z'Grute flexed.
"Shouldn't you have attached it before letting it out of Cryo Sleep?" Alister asked as the Z'Grute turned towards Nefarious' pod.
Nefarious blinked, turning from the Z'Grute to the device in his hand. "...I knew I forgot something," he admitted as the Z'Grute devoured the light from the pod, causing it to crash to the ground.
"It was on your 'to-do' list, sir," Lawrence reminded him, just before he shut down.
"Lawrence?" Nefarious asked worriedly. "Lawrence?" He shook his butler gently.
"His circuitry isn't as well braced as yours," Twilight spoke up as she rushed to his side. "He's not a combat model, after all. He'll reboot in a couple of hours when auto-repair finishes. I can evac him if you tell me where."
"There's an old ship docked just behind Igliak's moon," Nefarious replied immediately.
With that, Twilight teleported Lawrence clear. "Now, we should-"
The Z'Grute roared at the group before turning to begin devouring Light from the spotlights surrounding the square.
"...probably deal with that?" Azimuth offered, drawing his spear.
"Not a bad idea," Twilight admitted as the Z'Grute chucked the now dead lights aside before lunging into the city.
"Weapons everyone!" Qwark called out, quickly pulling his business suit off and revealing his hero suit underneath, drawing his weapon.
"Well, good luck dealing with the monstrosity I unleashed upon this unsuspecting metropolis-" Nefarious began.
"The cameras are off, Doctor," Qwark reminded him. "If you want any credit for this, you'll need to get ahead of the news feed before we take the beast down. Going to be hard making your own way through."
"Then I'll just tag along with you!" Nefarious proclaimed angrily. "I'll use the three of you to get where I need to go, then leap into the fray and show the whole universe my greatness!"
"You'll need one of these," Twilight offered, passing the robotic doctor one of her modified Swingshots.
"Ooh! Nice!" Nefarious purred happily.
"Did...did Qwark just manipulate Nefarious into helping us take down the Z'Grute?" Alister whispered to Twilight.
"Not questioning it anymore," Twilight whispered back. Louder, she asked, "Doctor, do you have any melee weapons?"
"But of course!" Nefarious proclaimed proudly. "Behold!" He pulled his left arm back, his hand flipping into the arm to reveal a chainsaw blade, amplified by a laser aura that extended a good foot beyond the blade itself.
"That's incredible!" Qwark complimented. "But how come you never used it against us?"
"It's new!" Nefarious explained. "Made it just for this fight!"
"Very nice!" Twilight praised as she examined it minutely.
"So I'm the only straight man now," Alister murmured.
"I ship 'em too," Twilight teased in his ear.
"I didn't mean like that!" Azimuth snapped back.
The Z'Grute roared as it collapsed a building.
"...we get very easily distracted, don't we?" Qwark murmured softly.
"We should work on that," Nefarious agreed as the four of them took off in pursuit.
"This is going to be a loooong trip," Alister murmured, blasting a few bots in their path. "Hopefully, there will be a few weapon vendors along the way."
"Should be!" Twilight confirmed. "Wonder what new ones are out now?"
The four quickly took off in pursuit of the Z'Grute, making their way through the damaged city. As they made their way, they spotted the Z'Grute chowing down on Alister's ship.
"Hey!" he shouted angrily. "My ship is not a chew toy!"
"It is now!" Nefarious taunted, cackling.
"Well, now how are we supposed to get home when we're done?" Twilight whimpered.
As they progressed, they could hear the news broadcast announcing how Nefarious had unleashed the Z'Grute upon the city. "Mwahahahahaha!" Nefarious gloated. "They shall know my greatness!"
"It's a live broadcast!" Qwark pointed out. "Why not show them some more greatness?"
"YES!" Nefarious proclaimed proudly. "I shall destroy everything in my path!" Lunging forward, he scythed through several robots with his laser chainsaw.
While they were able to keep up with the Z'Grute, it continued to stay just out of reach of any ranged weapons they had with them. "Dammit!" Twilight snapped. "You had to insist on defensive weapons only for this, didn't you BBBFF?"
Qwark shrugged his shoulders. "Oops?"
"I'd take more pleasure in that if I weren't in the same boat of risking being eaten as the rest of you!" Nefarious grumbled.
As they continued, the Z'Grute ripped a giant lightbulb from its moorings to consume what was inside, freeing several blue manta ray like creatures that made their way towards the groups. "Those are Lumenoids!" Twilight proclaimed. "The city uses them as a power source, and they're highly territorial when confronted with anything that isn't another Lumenoid!"
"In other words, they're going to try and kills us," Azimuth translated, spinning his spear to knock several away from him.
"Not if we kill them first!" Nefarious cackled as he blasted away with his hand blaster.
After fighting their way through the Lumenoids, another obstacle rose in the form of two robotic switches that had to be slammed into the ground in rapid succession. Twilight and Qwark both immediately took a switch, not even having to think about it. A light bridge formed ahead of them.
"Let's go!" Azimuth ordered, taking the lead across the light bridge. "Before the Z'Grute comes back and eats our bridge!"
As they crossed, the Z'Grute hurled the lightbulb from before ahead of them, freeing numerous more Lumenoids for the crew to fight their way through. "It's headed for the airway!" Twilight called out, pointing ahead. "We need to catch up!"
"I'll get there first!" Nefarious cackled, racing ahead.
"Not if I beat you there!" Qwark called back, racing after him.
"As if you ever could beat me at anything without help!" Nefarious quipped back.
"Who says he doesn't have help?" Twilight called out, quickly catching up.
"Is anyone other than me going to treat this seriously?" Alister demanded as he leapt forward with the group.
"Just because it's serious, doesn't mean it can't be fun," Qwark pointed out.
"Yeah, come on Uncle!" Twilight chided. "Lighten up!"
Ringing a large bell, the group summoned an air taxi to ride in pursuit of the Z'Grute. The air taxi turned along another path as the Z'Grute counter attacked, and the group was forced to steer around spinning blades by shifting weight on the taxi. Past the spinning blades, they then had to do the same to evade other air cars as they were travelling the wrong way relative to traffic flow.
Once they were out of traffic, they were forced to make a sharp turn as a building fell right in front of them. "It's destroying the city!" Azimuth shouted out.
"Then we'll have to destroy it first!" Qwark proclaimed. "Bring us in close, Twi!"
"On it!" Twilight proclaimed, steering in close. Seeing the Z'Grute drawing back an energy filled fist, she jerked the controls, turning so when the taxi was obliterated the four of them landed on a beam they could grind down. "...that could have gone better," she grumbled, clinging to Qwark's shoulders.
"It's not over yet!" Alister shouted, pointing forward. "Lean!"
The group leaned around on the large beam, shifting around breaches that released damaging energy. Twilight had to jerk her wing back as Qwark swerved a little too close and she singed the tip of a feather. "Yikes!"
"Sorry, LSBFF!" Qwark apologized. "Are you okay?"
"I'm alright," Twilight replied as they reached the end of the beam. "Just one feather, and it's only singed. It was due to molt later this week, anyway."
"Be more careful, you incompetent buffoon!" Nefarious snapped angrily. "She's worth more than the three of us put together, no matter how you measure it!"
Twilight lowered her head. "...I don't know whether to be pleased that shows signs of selflessness in you, upset at how little you value my BBBFF and Uncle, or terrified that you've got some crazy villain crush on me and plan to kidnap me and convert me into a cyborg villain sex-partner."
Nefarious blinked several times. "Wow, and I thought I could get dark. While I won't debate the possible kidnapping and roboticizing, I assure you that were my desires along the last one, I would most certainly romance you properly!"
Twilight stared at him nervously. "That's...comforting?"
"Speaking of which, do you prefer chocolates or flowers?" Nefarious asked. "Or perhaps chocolate covered flowers?"
"Hey!" Qwark complained. "That's my little sister you're hitting on!"
"Bro code does not apply to nemeses!" Nefarious snapped back.
"So is anyone else going to pay attention to the new attacking robots that just showed up?" Alister questioned, gesturing at the large, floating orange robots armed with lasers.
"Not mine, so they can wait!" Nefarious countered, barely sparing them a glance.
"Not mine, so I'd rather focus on the apparent freaky villain crush," Twilight added.
"I have more important things to focus on right now!" Qwark concluded, punching a robot that got too close without even looking at it, sending it flying into another bot, destroying both.
Alister groaned, shaking his head. "Then would somebody at least give me some popcorn?" he demanded petulantly.
By the time the heated debate between Nefarious and Qwark over whether or not it would be considered good etiquette for Nefarious to attempt to court Qwark's little sister finally started to die down, Alister had already cleared the first group of attacking robots. When he got back and found that they were still debating, he decided to add his own two cents. "Nefarious, you're a villain! Why do you care about what's considered good form from a social perspective?"
"Because I'm not trying to date Twilight as a villain!" Nefarious snapped back. "Didn't you catch that earlier when I said it was completely separate from any villainous intentions regarding kidnapping and roboticizing? I mean seriously, just because I'm an evil genius mad scientist bent on universal domination doesn't mean I can't be a gentleman!"
"An admittedly fair point," Qwark admitted. "And one thing I have noticed about you is that as deceitful and conniving you've been about your plans and villainous schemes, you've never actually lied."
"Of course I haven't!" Nefarious snapped back. "What's the point of lying? That's like those villains who 'pretend' to have a change of heart only to use it to stab the good guys in the back! No self respecting mastermind would stoop to that level!"
"For one thing, there's too much danger of the 'pretend' part changing," Twilight piped up.
"Exactly!" Nefarious agreed. "If I ever consider changing sides, I'm going to make a genuine try of it as serious consideration for a change in lifestyle, and give any friends I make in the process due warning if it's not working out so they can choose which side they'd rather be on. An inability to live a certain way is one thing, but there's no value in betrayal!"
"But what about teamed up villains stabbing each other in the back?" Twilight asked as they started moving through the city, almost absentmindedly activating the weapons vendor they came across to get new armaments for everyone. By habit, Twilight put it all on her tab, as her account had grown huge on interest and wise investments after renegotiating her Gadgetron contract at 18.
"Well, that's different!" Nefarious countered. "Villains expect that, and wouldn't respect you if you didn't! Even so, it's far more interesting to be the strategist of a villainous team-up. That way you can send your allies to their doom against the heroes, weakening both allies and heroes until whoever's left falls easily when the time comes for either the backstabbing or the dramatic confrontation! Alternatively, your victory leads to them being subordinate to you, and if they actually agree then that loyalty is worth keeping and rewarding."
Twilight gasped in amazement as the group took the automatic training course for the new function of the weapons in the 'Friendship through Firepower' program, where weapons fired together from multiple combatants with the same weapon at the same target would result in all weapons involved kicking into overdrive for greater damage and building up an explosive blast at the target. "You've read the Overlord List!" she squealed. "But...then how come you don't ask Lawrence to point out flaws in your plans?"
"Come now, Twilight!" Nefarious countered. "Lawrence is many things, and useful in many ways...but he is not an average five year old!"
"For anyone who cares about our actual mission here," Azimuth grumbled as Twilight giggled, "it seems the new robots are after the Z'Grute-"
Twilight yelped in surprise as one of the more advanced of the new robots grabbed her. "Put me down!" she shrieked angrily...only to stare, stunned, as Qwark, Azimuth, and Nefarious lunged in, literally ripping the robot limb from limb, Qwark with his bare hands, Azimuth with his lance, and Nefarious with his laser chainsaw. "Uh...guys? I think you got him..."
"It seems the robots are after Twilight as well," Azimuth concluded.
"Not on my watch!" Nefarious and Qwark both shouted together, only to turn and glare at each other. "Hey! I can do a better job protecting her than you!" they snapped, again simultaneously. "Can not! Can too! Can not! Can too! Hey, stop copying me!"
Azimuth leaned in towards Twilight. "...am I the only one getting a 'separated at birth' vibe here?"
Twilight stifled a giggle. "And here I thought you were the group's straight man," she teased.
"So that means it's my responsibility to reign in the insanity of the rest of you?" he grumbled in reply.
"Well...that is what Daddy asked you to do in keeping an eye on Qwark and I, right?" Twilight indicated.
Groaning, Azimuth brought his palm to his face. "...can we go back to blasting robots to bits?"
Chuckling, Twilight led the way forward, rather surprised to see that Qwark and Nefarious followed automatically. As they progressed, the FtF function of the guns achieved a great deal of use, and with everyone following her lead as to what to shoot, even the most heavily armored of the bots they encountered went down swiftly.
Before long, the group came to an obstacle Twilight was unfamiliar with. It appeared to be a swingshot target, but there was nothing to swing to. "Hmm..." Twilight murmured as she stared at it. "I wonder..."
"Only one way to find out!" Qwark proclaimed, latching onto it with his swingshot. It lifted higher into the air, dragging him with as it started to open up.
"Oh! It's a swingshot group carrier!" Twilight declared. "Once we're all hanging from it, it'll take us through the city!" She quickly latched onto Qwark with her swingshot. Glancing down, she saw Azimuth latch onto her before Nefarious could, and Nefarious grumblingly latch onto Azimuth. She giggled as the carrier extended a propeller to carry them through the city.
As it flew, Qwark spoke up. "Hmm...this is going to take a while...let's play I Spy!" Glancing around, he grinned. "I spy with my little eye...something that begins with...C!"
"Z'Grute begins with a Z," Nefarious pointed out.
"How'd you know?" Qwark gasped in shock as Twilight facehoofed.
Several rounds of I Spy later, it was once more Qwark's turn. "I Spy with my little eye, something beginning with-"
"If this is another sighting of the Z'Grute beginning with something other than Z," Nefarious began, "I swear to the Sleepless Gods and their Lorekeepers I will rip your belly open and hang you by a loop of your own entrails from this group carrier and let you fly around the city until you strangle or your guts break, just to see which comes first!"
Qwark was silent for a time. "...Z," he said finally.
"Z'Grute," Nefarious, Twilight, and Alister all said simultaneously.
Qwark gasped in shock. "How did you know?"
Twilight screamed in frustration. "Qwark, I love you to death, but if you don't change things up a bit, I will find a way to make that literal!"
"We could play 20 questions?" Qwark offered. As everyone nodded, he grinned widely. "I'll go first! I've already got one-"
"Is it the Z'Grute?" Nefarious asked.
"Wow you're good at guessing games!" Qwark marveled.
"Qwark," Alister grumbled as Nefarious and Twilight facepalmed and facehooved respectively, "not only have you picked the Z'Grute every time it's been your turn, you've also guessed it every time you were guessing at someone else's turn! And my first letter was Q!"
"There are limits to what's excusable for limited intelligence!" Nefarious snapped. "How did you get elected?"
"Sorry," Qwark replied. "I know I don't have that much brainpower, and what little I have I can't tear away from the danger the city's in."
Nefarious stared at Qwark in disbelief. "...okay, now I see how you were elected. If that's how your brain works, if you weren't my nemesis, I might have voted for you."
"The more he's in the limelight, the more public your confrontations will be," Twilight pointed out.
"Next election, I will vote for you!" Nefarious proclaimed, grinning widely.
The carrier finally came to a halt, dropping the group in firing range of the Z'Grute, which was close enough to fire upon. it attempted to fight them by electrifying the platform they were on and releasing shockwaves by smacking either side of the platform. Unfortunately for the Z'Grute, all four fighters were well adapted to combat such techniques. Alister had years of experience in addition to his natural cat-like grace and agility. Nefarious had given his robotic body several upgrades in anticipation of having to fight Twilight, Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark again. Qwark himself was in the best condition of his life. And none of the attacks the Z'Grute used could target Twilight when she hovered several yards above the platform to fire.
After a time, the Z'Grute pulled back, releasing a generator from a nearby tower to feed on to recover, but concentrated fire from the four combatants caused the generator to explode, knocking the Z'Grute back against a building, and sending it down, apparently knocked out.
"Well, that's another city saved, thanks to-"
"BBBFF?" Twilight interrupted. "Remember what we talked about with fall deaths?"
Qwark blinked, scratching his chin. "Uhh...never believe the bad guy's dead unless you find the body, and even then check for signs of cloning?"
"And how can this apply here?" she coached.
"Right!" Qwark confirmed. "Come on, men! Let's make sure that the Z'Grute is down for the count-"
"Hey!" Nefarious snapped. "Where do you get off ordering me around?"
"-so it won't interrupt when Nefarious and I have our dramatic clash!" Qwark finished.
"Okay, I can get behind that," Nefarious agreed.
Giggling, Twilight let Qwark take the lead as they moved to a launch platform, catching another ride on a wide beam they could grind on while they listened to the reporters talking about President Qwark's surprisingly high polls, most of which were attributed to Twilight. As they moved forward on the beam, the Z'Grute leapt up and began crawling after them on the beam.
"Like I said," Twilight told Qwark from her position on his shoulders, turning to shoot at the Z'Grute while they raced away.
"We need heavier firepower," Alister grumbled. "Any ideas?"
"We're approaching Zogg Tower," Qwark pointed out. "There are some fusion turrets on top. We could use them." Noticing the looks the others were giving him, he tilted his head. "What? I'm the President. I always read up on any new city or planet I'm going to if I'm going to make a speech. I have Zogg Tower's fusion turrets written down in my notecards, and was going to reference them as part of how I assumed I held the Z'Grute off in my sleep when I thought I'd beaten it already but didn't remember!"
Alister and Nefarious both stared at Qwark, stunned, as they came to the end of the grind beam. Twilight, however, flapped her way up to Qwark's head. "Good boy!" she praised, patting his head and offering him a cookie, which he devoured eagerly.
"I've heard of having heroes well trained," Nefarious quipped snidely, "but isn't that taking it a little far?"
"Positive reinforcement goes a long way with Qwark," Twilight replied as the group made their way towards Zogg Tower. "Oh, another weapons vendor!"
Alister shook his head, chuckling, as Twilight bought everyone a plasma bomb launcher. "Whatever works," he admitted.
Moving forward, their path came under attack by the Z'Grute...but it only used the same techniques as before, which were just as easily evaded. Some concentrated fire forced it to withdraw, allowing the group to take an elevator to the top of Zogg Tower...only to see the Z'Grute climb the opposite tower, draining energy from a new Lumenoid generator installed there.
"We need to get the turrets activated before it drains too much power!" Alister insisted. As he spoke, several enemy robots approached.
"Qwark, General!" Nefarious snapped. "You two guard our backs! Twilight and I will get the turrets up and running!"
"Why should I take orders from you?" Alister growled out.
"Because it's a good plan!" Twilight snapped back.
With the division of labor, it wasn't long before the attacking robots were destroyed and the turrets were activated, allowing the four to man the more powerful weapons. Unfortunately, the Z'Grute was surrounded by an energy barrier the Lumenoid generator was projecting, as well as occasionally launching explosive energy spheres at them.
"Qwark, Twilight, focus on the barrier generators!" Alister snapped out. "Nefarious, you and I will focus on the energy spheres! We're the better shots with turrets!"
"I was going to say that!" Nefarious complained as he connected his circuitry to the turret, taking direct control of its mechanisms.
Once the energy shield was down, the four focused all their fire on the generator itself, quickly causing it to explode, launching the Z'Grute so that it landed on the edge of the platform Twilight and the others were standing on, barely holding on with both foreclaws. Qwark and Alister acted quickly, smashing the claws with brute force and dropping the Z'Grute to the ground far below.
With the Z'Grute down, Nefarious turned to leave. "Well, it's been a lot of fun catching up...but I need to go check on Lawrence."
Qwark blocked his path, pulling the rest of his business suit off as he stood in his hero garb. "Lawrence can let you know how he's doing when he inevitably breaks you out of jail, after I've locked you up!" Qwark insisted.
Nefarious blinked, shocked. "Wow. It's...it's really hard to get used to you being this self aware and genre savvy."
"I'm so proud!" Twilight squealed happily.
At that moment, a massive ship appeared in the sky, warping the weather around it as it moved, generating a massive storm over the city, the clouds hiding the shape of the ship beyond what appeared to be a single glowing red eye. Alister gaped. "I thought you said the ship docked behind the moon was old?"
"That's not one of mine!" Nefarious insisted.
"Then let's steal it!" Twilight insisted eagerly, her eyes shining. "That kind of weather manipulating tech has so much potential!"
"Disengaging primary cryo field," a voice intoned as Twilight felt her awareness returning.
"Nnn...we don't do cryo sleep..." she mumbled as she slowly opened her eyes. She could then only stare as she found herself hanging upside down by her hind hooves, electrically bound to some sort of suspension device. "Oh hell no," she grumbled.
"I feel I should complain about your language as a parental figure," Alister commented dryly as he hung from a similar position, "but I'm feeling much the same way."
"Uncle!" Twilight called out. "Are you alright?"
"As well as can be expected when we've been kidnapped, kept in cryo-sleep for an unknown period of time, and hung upside down," Alister replied. "What about the others?"
"A little help here?" Qwark called out as he was lowered down, his entire body bound up like a pretzel and wrapped in an electric coil. He gestured to the device he was hanging from. "I think mine's broken!"
"...perfect," Alister grumbled. "Can this get any worse?"
At that point, Nefarious lowered down, similarly bound up like Qwark. However, he seemed to be in a programming lock, as he did not move and an unusual song was playing, rather than the usual snippets of soap operas.
"...BBBFF?" Twilight called out. "Would you?"
"I dunno," Qwark replied, bouncing as best he could to the beat. "I kinda like it."
"Excuse me!" a young, feminine voice called out. "Whatcha doing up there?"
Twilight glanced down at the source of the voice, a short blue girl dressed in orange and pink. "Oh, you know," Twilight replied. "Just...hanging around." Twilight paused as she caught sight of the gadget the girl had with her. "Ooh! What's that do?"
Grinning, the girl hefted the device. "Lemme show you!" Turning the gadget towards another device, she pulled the trigger. A massive suction was generated until it pulled part of the device part way out of its locking point, causing all four of them to drop to the platform below. Twilight and Alister landed gracefully, Qwark and Nefarious less so.
"Ugh...not the most comfortable way I've ever been snapped out of one of those," Nefarious grumbled, pushing himself to his feet.
"Aww..." Qwark complained as he rose, rubbing his back. "I liked that song..."
Twilight quickly rushed up to the device the girl was holding. "It looks like the old suck cannon, but it seems to have different features..."
"No time for that!" the little girl proclaimed. "You need to get out of here before she finds out I released you?"
"She who?" Alister demanded.
"No time!" the little girl countered. "Head through the Sector 7 air vent! We'll rendezvous on the South side! A Galactic Scout never leaves before her mission is complete!" Using her gadget to manipulate another device, a launch pad unfolded. "Get going!"
"Do we trust her?" Qwark asked Twilight worriedly.
Twilight looked the girl in the eyes for a time, then nodded. "We do," she confirmed.
"Good enough for me!" Qwark proclaimed, leaping onto the launch platform.
"If you're certain..." Alister grumbled, stepping on more hesitantly.
"I don't know," Nefarious began as Twilight stepped onto the platform. "I feel like I've been getting a bit too buddy-buddy with you good guys..."
"Nefarious, if you had a facility like this and had prisoners hanging upside down like that, what sort of experiments would you conduct on them?" Qwark asked curiously.
"Wait for me!" Nefarious screamed out exactly 0.68 seconds later, leaping onto the launch platform.
As the platform prepared to launch them, Twilight called out, "What's your name?"
"Susie!" the little girl replied as the group was propelled across a gap to a new platform, a door irising open to allow them to progress.
"I like her!" Twilight stated firmly as the group raced ahead, seeking a way out.
"How come you trusted her so readily?" Alister asked curiously.
"I scanned her with my magic, and I got apples," Twilight replied readily. "That told me I could trust her."
"You realize that makes absolutely no sense, right?" Nefarious pointed out as the group got on an elevator.
"Yeah, my magic's like that sometimes," Twilight replied. "But as far as I can tell, in my magic apples equal honesty."
"What do oranges equal, then?" Qwark asked curiously.
"No idea!"
As they spoke, the elevator stopped as a device scanned them. "Organic lifeforms detected," the device proclaimed in a somewhat feminine voice. "Reroute to creature pen for probing and experimentation."
"I need an adult!" Twilight squeaked out.
"Twilight, you just turned 18," Alister pointed out. "You are an adult!"
"We're not test subjects!" Qwark shouted out. "We're...uh...new trainees?"
"Very well," the computer replied. "Rerouting to training lab for gadget certification."
As the elevator started up again, Twilight turned to stare at Qwark. "That...was oddly brilliant, BBBFF. Not only are we not going to be experimented on, but we're going to get new gear!"
Qwark grinned widely. "I have my moments," he boasted modestly, rubbing his knuckled on his chest. A thoughtful look crossed his face. "Say, Twilight...since you needed an adult and I saved you, does that mean-"
"No," Nefarious interrupted firmly. "No you're not."
Before long, the elevator came to a halt at the training facility...which looked no different from any other area of the facility they'd seen so far. As they moved forward, the ways to get past various obstacles was displayed on the wall where they could see. "This is beginning to feel like an old game Daddy and I used to play," Twilight began. "...and Mommy and I would mod to make more challenging. Never did figure out how to make the handheld portal generator work for real the way it did in the game, though. Though that research did eventually become the Rift Inducer, and later the Rift Inducer 5000..."
"Did you remember to utilize the proper reactive wall substance for portal generation?" Nefarious inquired. "A lot of sophonts forget about the portals only working on walls coated in that special white goo."
Twilight paused, raising a hoof to her chin. "...you know, I never did look into that. That detail was only added in the second game, so I didn't think it was that important...but if I mixed the right reactive compounds..."
"Rotten bananas have been discovered under the air purification filter," the computer pronounced. "Dispatching cleaner bots."
"Susie seems to be going out of her way to give us a smooth escape," Alister commented dryly. "Perhaps we should save distracting discussion until we're either out of the death trap dungeon or heavily armed enough we don't need to worry about it?"
"That's a good point, Twilight," Qwark reminded her. "Most of the reason you can ignore danger is your extensive arsenal...which we don't have with us. And falling back on raw magic power burns you out rapidly, so you'll need to be stingy about that, too."
Twilight rolled her eyes as they swung across the gap via linked swingshots, the two pairs swinging together to cross. "BBBFF, sometimes I really hate it when you're right."
As they passed, the computer spoke again. "Excellent work. You will make fine minions."
Twilight couldn't help it. She began to sing under her breath. "...and the science gets done, and you make a neat gun, for the people who are...still alive!"
"I always preferred 'Want You Gone', personally," Nefarious countered as the door opened.
"Over here!" Susie called out from the other side of the door, gesturing with her head. "You guys are pretty smart, she thinks you're one of them!"
"I am impressive, aren't I?" Qwark gloated, grinning ear to ear.
"An interloper has been located in the Sector Two training lab," the computer intoned.
"You get out of here, Susie," Twilight instructed. "We'll be fine from here."
"Okay!" Susie replied, opening another door for them. "I left a present for you all on the Charging Station in the Equipment Room. It's on the other side of the lab! I'll meet you at the south exit!"
"Think she'll make it?" Nefarious whispered to Twilight as they rushed through.
"I think so," Twilight replied, taking a pot shot at a robot that was blocking their path. "She seems to know her way around here."
"They have names, you know," the computer chided robotically. "You just destroyed...Carl."
"Okay, even I'm seeing it now," Qwark spoke up.
"I refuse to believe you were any good at that game!" Nefarious snapped.
"What?" Qwark countered. "Leaping about in systems someone else designed, cracking open locks, and smashing things? That's totally my thing as a hero!"
"Smashing with your fist wasn't an option in the game to crack locks," Nefarious countered.
Qwark met the glare for a time, then lowered his head. "Okay, I admit, I lost my lunch the first time I did the infinite fall and never finished the game."
"Hah!" Nefarious snapped.
Before long, the group reached the Charging Station Susie had mentioned, where four gadgets like the one she'd been using awaited them. Twilight eagerly rushed forward, squealing, "New toy new toy new toy new toy!"
"There's a letter," Alister commented, pointing it out.
"And it's written in macaroni!" Qwark squealed, scooping it up as he took one of the gadgets. "Dear Lombax and friends," he read, "these Vac-U's will come in handy. Love Susie." Curiously, he pulled the trigger. A massive suction force pulled Nefarious' rear into the gadget's wide barrel, leaving him braced - and stuck - to the gadget.
"Let me go you half-wit!" Nefarious snapped angrily, struggling to get off the Vac-U.
"I'm trying!" Qwark snapped.
"There's a reverse button on the side!" Twilight called out.
Nodding, Qwark pushed the button, sending Nefarious flying through the air. Before he could smash into a pile of crates, Twilight caught him in her magical field, setting him down gently.
"Call me a name I don't call myself already!" Qwark countered with a wide grin.
Nefarious stared, slack-jawed. Twilight and Alister burst into laughter at his expression. Finally, Nefarious stomped his foot. "You are not allowed to stupefy me by insulting yourself!" he snapped. "That's not fair!"
"That's what happens when Twilight gets her hooves on you!" Qwark countered with a wide grin. He blinked as he noticed his Vac-U activate itself as it was surrounded by a purple aura, sucking Twilight into the barrel.
"Me next! Me next!" Twilight squealed.
Chuckling, Qwark pulled the trigger sending Twilight flying as she squealed happily. Nefarious just shook his head in disbelief.
As Twilight began examining her new gadget, the computer spoke up. "Attention minions, you have not been certified for Vac-U operation. Initiating tutorial program Alpha 2-4."
"Ooh!" Twilight squealed happily. "This is going to be fun!" She raced forward, leading the way to the activation platform. Qwark, Nefarious, and Alister followed with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Once the platform was activated, the four were surrounded with bright light.
As the light faded, Alister glanced around at the similar yet different surroundings. "So...VR or teleported?" he asked curiously as the group followed the only path.
"Not sure," Twilight replied. "I don't feel like we've moved anywhere, but then again that's been out of whack since we arrived here, so we might have. Nefarious?"
"My Personal Locator isn't doing much better," Nefarious replied. "And my sensors don't extend too far beyond organic range of detection due to the roboticization process, so your guess is as good as mine."
"I think it's VR!" Qwark proclaimed firmly.
"That confirms it, we teleported," Nefarious sniped back.
"Hey..." Qwark complained, pouting.
"Be nice," Twilight chided Nefarious.
"Never!" the robotic doctor proclaimed.
"For me?" Twilight wheedled, using her most winsome tone.
"Nope!" Nefarious countered. "I draw the line at to you."
"We need to use the Vac-U's to launch spheres into an incinerator," Alister pointed out, stepping back in from the next room. "Are you all going to lend a hand, or should I do this myself and leave you three to your banter?"
"Only if they're Edge-less Safety Cubes!" Nefarious countered.
Rolling his eyes, Alister continued clearing the 'training' course. Once the group made it past the incinerator room, they found that the force of the Vac-U's worked well for breaking crates and drawing in bolts, though none hesitated to put them on Twilight's account. Beyond there, they discovered a gadget specifically designed to interact with the Vac-U, called a Power Plunger. Drawing the plug out of the Plunger with the Vac-U activated - or deactivated, as the case might be - the connected device.
"Okay, it makes sense to have power couplings designed to interact with these," Twilight murmured. "Well, as much sense for so many devices scattered around to need an Omniwrench to activate when so few people actually have one...but really? Power Plunger?"
"What else would you call it?" Qwark asked curiously.
Twilight paused, her lips moving as she sounded out a few other possible ideas. "...okay, fair enough. The only other ideas I can come up with are either overly technical or even worse."
"What's wrong with the Torsion Turbine?" Nefarious asked. "The suction does go in a twisting motion, after all."
Twilight grinned widely. "Good one, Nefarious!" she praised, making the not-so-good doctor rub the back of his dome, embarrassed.
As Qwark and Alister activated the Power Plungers to move forward, the computer spoke again. "Objective complete. Well done, minions. You are almost ready to go forth and oppress the Farpods."
"Just a shot in the dark here," Alister murmured, "but I think Susie might be a Farpod."
"Maybe," Twilight replied.
In the next room, strange fuzzy creatures of unidentifiable origin bounced around. "These creatures have been released from their pens," the computer intoned. "Use your Vac-U's to capture them."
"Is that...safe?" Twilight murmured worriedly.
"Your Vac-U's will store critters using the Master's patented Zepto-shrink technology," the computer replied.
"First Portal, now Pokemon?" Nefarious demanded. "What next, Mech Warriors?"
"Oh, I hope so!" Twilight squealed out eagerly.
"Me too!" Qwark agreed happily as he scooped up a critter.
"I hope we make it out of this facility soon," Alister grumbled as the group stepped onto another pad.
A bright flash of light later, the group found themselves in yet another new location.
"Ha!" Nefarious proclaimed. "Called it! We teleported!"
"And now it's a dead end," Alister pointed out, approaching a wide gap without swingshot targets.
"Your Vac-U's can also be used to launch other minions across wide gaps," the computer informed them.
"...I walked right into this-OOOOONNNNEEEE!" Alister's groan turned into a scream as Qwark launched him across the gap, the remaining trio using their swingshots to pull themselves after Alister. Grumbling, Alister smashed a nearby robot.
"Attention, minion," the computer intoned, "you have now been scheduled for anger management class."
"Up your exhaust!" Alister snapped angrily.
"That is the correct location," the computer replied, leaving a flabbergasted Alister and a highly amused Twilight and Nefarious.
One last 'training' obstacle awaited them, a switch similar to what they'd encountered back on Igliak that required being slammed into the ground, but projected up high from the wall. Twilight dealt with it by launching Qwark upwards, letting him slam the switch down.
"Well done, minions," the computer intoned. "Your Vac-U training is almost complete."
"What's left?" Twilight inquired curiously as the group stepped onto another platform, teleporting to a new location.
"I doubt it'll be pleasant," Alister grumbled.
"Your Vac-U's contain a rechargeable nanotech dispersal unit," the computer intoned. "This enhances your ability to make fellow minions less dead."
"So if one of us is running low on nanotech," Twilight interpreted, "we can recharge them by holding them in the Vac-U?"
"Sounds like it," Nefarious mused. "Interesting..." He stroked his chin as he stared at the gadget in his hand.
"And you were worried it would be unpleasant," Qwark teased Alister, gently bumping him on the arm.
At that moment, Qwark was zapped by a jolt of electricity, rapidly draining his nanotech to critical levels.
"Qwark!" Twilight called out worriedly, locking her Vac-U onto Qwark and pulling him in. Within moments, Qwark's nanotech was restored and he recovered.
"Ooh...tingly..." Qwark murmured as he steadied himself.
"Objective Complete," the computer intoned. "Well done, minions. Your training is now complete. Gold stars for everyone."
"I'm beginning to really dislike that computer," Twilight growled as the path forward opened.
The four moved forward, gathering critters and bolts as they went, until they reached another transport platform. "Congratulations on completing your training," the computer intoned as the platform moved forward.
"If it mentions cake, cast the biggest ice spell you have," Nefarious whispered to Twilight, who nodded in agreement.
"You will now be transported to Sector 12," the computer continued as the platform zoomed off with the group on board, "for celebratory probing."
"Unless that involves us probing willing nubile females-"
"Ahem!" Twilight interrupted Qwark, giving him a disapproving glare.
Qwark held up his hands defensively. "Just saying...it's better than the alternative..."
"Don't worry!" Susie called from a nearby gate marked with a red light as she used her Vac-U to activate a Power Plunger, diverting the platform. "A Galactic Scout never leaves an ally behind!"
"Intruder Alert!" the computer intoned in its normal monotone. "All units converge on the minions in Sector 3."
"Mission complete!" Susie called out as she turned to open the door via another Power Plunger. "Come on, it's time to escape!"
As the door opened, it revealed a vast number of a new type of robot, this one having a small main body with wiry arms, floating in midair. They surely would have been interesting, if they didn't go down to a single shot from any weapon. However, as some went down, another group warped in.
Twilight gasped in surprise. "They have rift-jump capability!" Thinking quickly, she activated her Vac-U while surrounding it in her magical aura. After a time, she grinned widely, then zapped one of the robots with a new spell, causing it to shrink down and stasis-lock, allowing her to pocket it. "Now that's going to be useful," she purred.
"Oh the things I could do with a ray like that," Nefarious cackled.
Twilight smirked challengingly at him. "You provide the tech, I'll provide the formula, and we split the profits 50/50."
"Profits?" Nefarious demanded, confused. "I wasn't planning to sell it."
"You were planning to somehow make money off it, weren't you?" Twilight countered. "Long term, successful conquest results in profit, right?"
Nefarious grinned at that. "Fair enough! But are you actually offering to help me conquer the galaxy?"
"I'm already the right hand mare to the present ruler of the known universe," Twilight countered. "As long as I'm playing a big part in making the policy, does it really matter which side of the moral compass the one I'm assisting bases his ethics on?"
All three of her companions stared at her. Eventually, it was Nefarious who spoke up. "Umm...what if I wanted to institute roboticization of citizens?"
"50% profits means I'm an equal in authority, which means I can insist any and all transformations of that sort are voluntary," Twilight countered. "You're free to offer inducements, but as long as any roboticization is, indeed, voluntary, why should I stand in the way of someone pursuing an alternative lifestyle?"
"Crushing the citizenry beneath his heel?" Qwark inquired.
"Several political groups have been campaigning for equal taxation and an elimination of the loopholes abused by the rich for centuries," Twilight countered. "As any labor/monetary 'crushing' would be felt at the upper layers of society far more than the lower to maximize the profit/effort ratio, the majority of the population would appreciate the 'correction' to 'socioeconomic disparity'." She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really have an opinion on that one way or another, but as long as the extracted funds and labor goes towards improving the ruled area, why should I care how it's acquired as long as it's legal?"
"The hedonistic debauchery of the evil dictator, taking whatever he pleases?" Alister suggested.
"Not in my tastes to begin with," Nefarious countered. "Remember what I said about courting her to begin with?"
"And beyond that, it's the same thing as the roboticization," Twilight added. "As long as all participants are willing and happy with the result, why should I care what happens behind closed doors? Ratchet does have three sexually intimate romantic partners and counting, after all."
"Huh," Nefarious mused. "When put that way, I guess I can see what you mean about not seeing much of a difference between helping Qwark run the universe after he's elected or helping me rule it after conquering it-"
"What do you mean 'and counting'?" Alister interrupted.
"The number of ladies who he's made swoon has only gone up over time," Twilight pointed out. "I'm not discounting the possibility of more-"
"Attention interlopers," the computer proclaimed. "You have been found guilty of impersonating a minion. You are hereby ordered to stand down and prepare to be executed."
"In what mad universe would anyone obey a directive like that?" Nefarious demanded angrily of the computer.
Qwark bashfully returned to his feet, leading to two facepalms and a facehoof.
As they continued, a new robot appeared, with blades surrounding it and a large green dome.
"That looks like one of those wall mounted buttons!" Qwark pointed out, only to immediately be launched by Alister to slam down atop it.
"You must comply with my stand down order," the computer insisted, "or I will be forced to take drastic action."
"What's more drastic than trying to kill us?" Alister demanded grumpily.
"Don't jinx us!" Qwark countered worriedly. "Computers that run facilities like this can be fiendishly imaginative!"
As they continued, the computer spoke up again. "Remember those gold stars I gave you for gadget certification? Look." The screens displaying the stars flashed as they counted down. "No more gold stars. Try putting that on the fridge."
"NO!" Qwark wailed as he sank to his knees and threw his arms despairingly into the air.
"I'll give you gold stars when we get home, Qwark," Twilight reassured him. "One for every mission we've completed together.
Qwark sniffled a bit, then nodded. "Okay, Twi..."
As they continued to blast their way out, the computer spoke up again. "Attention interlopers. Your Gadget Certification Diplomas now bear the shameful mark of the frowny face. Feel the agonizing sting of disapproval."
"We never even got those diplomas!" Nefarious insisted.
"What happened to 'fiendishly imaginative'?" Alister asked Qwark with a roll of his eyes.
Qwark merely whimpered in response.
One corridor later, and the group stepped out...onto a planetary surface none of them recognized.
Twilight glanced around at the cloudy blue sky around them...all around them. "Floating stone islands?" she gasped out. "...how?"
"Localized gravitational anomalies, most likely," Nefarious concluded. "Likely caused by experimentation with dimensional rifts. Not at the same level as the Dimensionator or the Great Clock, so more likely to be linked to a sub-dimension of some sort. Anything more extreme - like a mirror or alternate dimension - and the side effects would be far more noticeable. The atmosphere would probably be corrupted, and possibly damage to the planet's core."
"Wait, back up!" Twilight insisted. "There's a difference between mirror and alternate dimensions as far as impact on the multiversal fabric when it comes to experimentation?"
"Of course!" Nefarious confirmed. "With mirror dimensions, anything that happens in one influences the other, like two sides of the same coin. Difficult to breach through safely, and no knowing what the consequences could be." He waved his hands at the floating stone islands, and the cables stringing them together. "But this is far too controlled to be something like that. Everything is contained. Whoever started the experiments that did this knew exactly what would happen-"
"We have incoming!" Alister called out, pointing upwards.
From out of the sky, what looked like a satellite came crashing down in a roaring blaze. It landed on the same stone island they were presently on, not too far away from them. As soon as the fire went out, it rose up, unfolding into an FtF Weapons Dispensary, much like those they'd seen on Lumos. As soon as it finished unfolding, a hologram projected of three familiar robots and an even more familiar figure. "Twilight?" Ratchet gasped out worriedly. "You okay?"
"Daddy! Mommy!" Twilight called out happily, smiling and waving at both of them. "I'm so happy to see you, but gimme a quick sec, okay?" Turning back to Nefarious, she continued, "So, you were saying someone knew what was going to happen?"
"Look at how the islands are tethered," Nefarious pointed out, popping off his own left optic - the one undamaged by the scar from prior temporal shenanigans - and stretching it out for Twilight to use it as a far viewer. "That was done before the gravitational anomaly kicked in, but there's no strain on the cables..."
As the pair continued to discuss the technical details, Clank spoke up from the hologram. "I...see they are getting along well?" he asked delicately.
"A little too well if you ask me," Qwark replied. "I'm pretty sure I caught them F-L-U-4-T-G!"
Twilight and Nefarious both paused to turn to face Qwark. "...I'd make a comment about knowing how to spell, but apparently you don't," the robotic doctor commented dryly. "I have no idea what you were just trying to say."
"What?" Ratchet demanded, stunned. "You...you're going on a...a date with...with him?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Daddy, be honest. The pool of sophonts in the universe who I'd be able to have enjoyable dinner conversation with at my intellectual level can be narrowed down to three groups: my relatives, Terachnoids, and Nefarious. I'm not going to date a family member, and 99.8% of Terachnoids only have their online game profile to brag about, and of the remaining .2%, half is going to be worshiping the ground I walk on or fly over as the case may be-"
"Self-memo," Nefarious spoke up, flicking a switch on his dome to record the statement. "No worshiping on the first date."
"-and the other half is going to be trying to kidnap me to fulfill some sort of twisted mind warping sex fantasy because their only experience with the opposite sex is through erotic date sims," Twilight concluded. "At least Nefarious already stated that he's going to be trying to romance me properly, and we can actually talk about things without having to slow down for each other. Seriously, even the average Terachnoid needs me to run over things a second time every so often."
Ratchet paused, rubbing his chin as he thought over what she'd said. "So...this isn't some misguided attempt on your part to reform him into a good guy?"
"If anyone's going to do that, it's BBBFF," Twilight replied. "Nefarious is his nemesis, not mine."
"Dr. Nefarious," Clank spoke up, "do I have your word that this is not an attempt on your part to turn Twilight evil?"
"You have more confidence in my charisma and abilities of persuasion than I do if you think I could actually pull that off without her knowing," Nefarious replied. "Besides, I prefer to keep personal and professional separate. That's not to say I'm above seeking romance amongst coworkers, or coworkers amongst romantic partners - not that I've had many of either - but it's never a good idea to put the two together."
"Courtney Gears," Ratchet reminded him.
"I'd like to make it a point of record that I never actually encouraged or even sought out her infatuation with me," Nefarious insisted. "My interactions with her were all business from my end, even if her processor was too slow to get the hint I wasn't interested. Seriously, she was not my type at all."
"Then what is your type?" Cronk demanded from the holographic communicator. "I've seen splash pages of her and a few of her videos. Oh, that fembot can lube my sprockets any day!"
"You said it, Cronk!" Zephyr agreed.
"Someone who can properly use four and five syllable words without overheating their cerebral cortexes, positronic or otherwise," Nefarious spoke up, answering the original query and ignoring the latter dialogue that was apparently freaking out the other listeners.
Ratchet awkwardly cleared his throat. "Well...I suppose I don't really have anything else to say beyond the usual cliche overprotective father threats which are probably things I normally try to do to you anyway, Nefarious..."
"I believe I can cover that by reminding Nefarious of the threat my duplicate gave him under my control back when we were in Solana," Clank spoke up. "I'm certain he remembers it."
"Still gives me nightmares," Nefarious replied with a shudder.
"Consider it back in play for if you break her heart," Clank continued. "Oh, and that's after she's done whatever she's chosen to do with you to vent her own despair, and utilizing my own time powers and the Great Clock to maximize the amount of time I'm able to make you suffer before your very essence degrades from excessive quantum strain."
"Clank!" Ratchet complained as Nefarious actually whimpered in terror. "The Father's supposed to be the super threatening parent-"
"You have three wives in all but legality," Clank countered, "and the entire universe knows that the four of you are 'energetic' behind closed doors. You of all sophonts are the last to need to be worried about appearing less than masculine."
"It's Tuesday," Alister pointed out. "If you want to go on that date on Friday, we should probably get off this planet before Wednesday, don't you think Twilight?"
"Good point," Twilight agreed. "So when are you going to pick us up, Daddy?"
Ratchet hesitated a bit. "...minor problem with that...see, Aphelion tried to come in for a landing, but..."
"The planet's gravitational field is in too great a disarray for safe landing," Aphelion spoke up. "If I attempted to land, the energy reactions of the planet would interact with my own energy reactions, and could tear the entire planet apart in a trans-dimensional rift. However, we've sent a signal to our friends and allies, and more conventional craft are on their way. In the meantime, we've scattered communications rigs like the one before you all to allow us to communicate with you and send you supplies. Unfortunately, only the FtF weaponry can transmit through the planet's energy fields, since they're what these devices were designed to work with...so we can't send along your usual arsenal, Twilight."
"Aww!" Twilight complained. "But having overwhelming firepower at the start is half the fun of these new world missions! I get to pay more attention to the scenery since any hostiles we come across are mowed down like chaff!"
"Are you certain your alignment is good?" Nefarious asked, his voice somewhere between teasing and amazed.
"Well, as long as we have to wait for pickup," Twilight grumbled as she stepped up to the comm rig, "we might as well keep moving. I certainly don't want to get snatched up by that facility again for termination or probing. Let's see what new weapons are available...ooh, Arc Lashers! Those sound fun!"
"How are you able to afford throwing so much money around like this?" Alister demanded as they were each handed an Arc Lasher. "I mean, I got the impression you're rich, but-"
"Just about every weapon or gadget to come out of Gadgetron or Grummel-net in the past decade and a half has my name somewhere in the production," Twilight replied. "Whether in concept, finishing, or if it was just my own design start to finish. And it wasn't until a couple years after I started inventing for Gadgetron that I actually spent any appreciable amount. Between that, all the money I made with Daddy in saving the galaxy over and over again and...all the prize money I won in Dreadzone..." She shook her head to dispel those last thoughts. "Well, interest adds up. That and when it came time to renegotiate my contract with Mr. Fixit...well, he's retired and I'm CEO of Gadgetron now. And since Grummel-net's part of Gadgetron..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed Alister and Nefarious staring at her. "...what?"
"Sorry," Alister replied. "I just found out my great-niece is one of the richest sophonts in the known universe. That's going to take some getting used to."
"You're making it really hard not to kidnap you," Nefarious added. "As a villain, you're making yourself out to be an ideal target for me. Brilliant, wealthy, well connected?"
"I'd like to see you try," Twilight teased back jokingly. She then tapped her hoof against her chin. "...actually, in all seriousness, I think I would, if only to see what you came up with to pull it off and neutralize the various resources I have to turn against you. You're pretty creative, after all."
"I'll be sure to come up with a plan to meet your expectations!" Nefarious promised, grinning wickedly as he rubbed his metal hands together.
"And I'll be sure to rescue you if he succeeds!" Qwark proclaimed happily.
Giggling, Twilight turned to lead the way over the floating, broken stone islands, her wings easily enabling her to fly from one to the other safely. Nefarious, Alister, and Qwark quickly followed, using their Vac-U's to grab bolts and critters as they went.
Not far along, Susie approached them on a one-person technological zeppelin. "I wouldn't stay here if I were you all!" she called out. "The gravity machines are pulling the plains apart!"
"Which way should we go?" Qwark called back.
"Follow me!" Susie responded. "I'll lead you out of here!"
The zeppelin tacked away, and the group followed, smashing their way through the robots that popped up to block their path. Twilight sighed sadly as they moved. "The terrain's...not much to look at, is it?" she mused. "I mean, the view is breathtaking, but...where's the landmarks?"
"Looks like they've been torn apart," Alister murmured sorrowfully.
"That's what happens when villains don't care about the worlds they land on," Nefarious replied quietly. "I've never really understood the logic. Sure, build up the fortification and enslave the populace if you must, but what's the point in tearing apart good environments? They're half pleasant views out the office windows, half fortifications!"
"Ooh, look! Swinglaunchers!" Qwark called out, pointing to the object he'd noticed, latching onto one with his swingshot to propel himself high in the air. "Yahoo!"
Twilight rolled her eyes as the trio followed. "At least one of us isn't feeling down about this." She paused as she noticed another strange teleporter nearby. "What's this?" she inquired, leading the others onto it.
As they stepped on, the teleporter scanned them. "12 Critters detected stored in Vac-U's. Clearance granted."
"Wait, what?" Nefarious gasped out as they vanished in a flash of light.
The group appeared in a barren seeming lab, the Critters from their Vac-U's now in a glass passage inside the bare wall, plainly visible. "Welcome explorers!" a friendly voice greeted from all around. "I am Dr. Frumpus Croy, and you've discovered my secret weapons laboratory, ground zero for the power port war against Nevos Collectus. Volunteers who complete my rigorous usability tests will be rewarded with bolts, and access to my secret project code named...Last Resort. Prove yourself by guiding the critters through the tube maze in the wall safely to the opposite side. When you are ready to begin, activate the Power Plunger to release them into the maze."
"Well, this is different," Alister murmured. "...who's Nevos Collectus?"
"Given the design of the ship we were on and the sound of the name, I'd say the one responsible for snatching us," Nefarious replied. "Even if it isn't, this place is fully automated. Finish the tests and we get the tech, and we can use it to do whatever we want."
"Then what are we waiting for?" Qwark called out, turning his Vac-U on the Power Plunger.
As the Critters made their way into the tubes, platforms rose in a bridge to allow the group to progress. They raced forward, staying just ahead of the Critters so they could make it to the next Power Plungers, shifting tube segments into the proper place to let the Critters continue rather than race out into the white void below.
With the Critter safely transported to the opposite end, a holodisplay revealed the nature of the weapon they were unlocking, from the looks of things a high-powered mech-suit.
Nefarious stared at the hologram as Twilight squealed happily. "Well," he murmured, "I hope someone picked up that phone."
"Phone?" Qwark asked, confused.
"Because I f*cking called it!" Nefarious screamed out.
Alister stared at him for a time. "How under the stars did you manage to pronounce that asterisk?" he asked as they were warped out of the hidden lab.
Once the group was back out of the secret lab, Alister led the way forward, Qwark at his side. Twilight and Nefarious brought up the rear, already eagerly debating the possible specs of the mech suits they'd seen silhouetted, and possible improvements they could make once the actual suits were acquired. Once he realized that was the nature of the discussion, Alister ignored it. Qwark found this...confusing to say the least. "Are you sure we shouldn't be paying attention to what they're talking about?" he asked as he activated a Power Plunger.
"Can you honestly tell me you understand a word they're saying?" Alister responded as a spinning ring with equally spaced swingshot targets on it descended in response. The four latched on with their swingshots, the centrifugal force launching them to the next floating stone island.
Qwark listened for a bit as Vac-U'd a few critters. "...I think Twilight just said something about explosions..."
"Precisely," Alister confirmed. "All I need to know is that they will understand how the suits work and will make improvements. Knowing that, I don't need to concern myself with the technical details."
"And...if Nefarious tries to sabotage ours?" Qwark suggested, carefully making his way over unsteady terrain, managing to cross without causing it to collapse.
"It would be a violation of his agreement to work with us until we get rescued, and Twilight would see it as grounds not to go out with him," Alister explained. "Dating her is a higher priority to him right now than killing you, so we're safe from sabotage. If he's going to kill you here, he'll do it by shooting you in the face or back, not sabotaging a project he works on with Twilight."
Qwark paused, having to be pushed off the collapsing terrain by Twilight's magic. "...wow. That makes a lot of sense. How do you know so much about what makes people tick?"
"I was a General during the war against the Cragmites," Alister responded morosely. "Half of that job is knowing how to phrase unpleasant orders that send a good portion of your troops to inevitable deaths for the greater good in a way that they're enthusiastic about it. You learn a lot of psychology that way." Turning, he blasted a mine launcher before its floating mines could hurt an unsuspecting critter. "Can we change the subject?"
"Wonderful weather we're having here!" Qwark responded enthusiastically. "This planet would make a good vacation spot! You know, once mad scientists aren't tearing it apart and Twilight's finished putting it back together." Noticing Alister's surprised expression, Qwark grinned. "Yeah, she does that. Her first adventure - back when we were on opposite sides - she repaired a good half dozen planets and invented an anti-pollution mech that's still the Think Green standard of environmental protection."
"Oh yeah!" Nefarious called out. "I've actually got a few Sparklers built into my few still functioning planetary bases! Reconstituting the toxic byproducts of my experiments into usable resources has saved me billions of bolts!"
"Wait, built into the bases?" Twilight asked, her voice confused but her eyes alight with curiosity. "But they're designed to be free moving..."
"And now we have no idea what they're talking about again!" Qwark proclaimed happily, launching Alister across a wide gap so everyone could lock onto him with their swingshots.
"Unfortunately, I do," Alister groaned. "Any chance we could change the subject to something more pleasant? What's the 'Sparkler' Nefarious mentioned, anyway?"
"A free-roving environmental cleaner," Qwark explained as he pulled out a datapad. "I don't understand all the technical details, but..." He scanned through the data for a bit, shaping words with his mouth without speaking while absently shifting to climb up a metal wall using the Omniboots Twilight had made for him. "It uses a sample of clean, pristine water or atmosphere - whether physical or in data form - to clean the seas or skies, depending on if its an aquatic or aerial model, into the pristine, pollutant free state of the samples. It also...collects the pollutants to be...uh, what Nefarious said."
"Reconstituted into usable resources?" Alister clarified.
"Exactly!" Qwark agreed.
Alister thought about that as they blasted another attacking robot to bits. "No wonder she's so rich. She could name her price for something like that. Even Lombax worlds had pollution problems, and we'd have paid through the nose for it-"
"Actually, the initial model is sold at cost, and maintenance is at a reasonable annual subscription rate," Qwark explained. "And several developing worlds operating on a deficit have even had those costs waved. She insisted."
Alister stared at Qwark for a time. "New question. Why isn't she President of the Universe?"
"Presidential candidates have to be at least 25," Qwark responded. "She's only 18. Old enough to be a running mate, but not run on her own."
"And now I know how you won," Alister grumbled as he sucked up a few critters.
At that moment, another strange robot floated by, and gravity in the area suddenly shifted dramatically.
"This is new," Twilight mumbled as she tried to fly, her wings no longer providing appropriate lift due to the change in gravity. "And not entirely pleasant..." she grumbled as she landed on her back.
Nefarious quickly righted her. "Don't flap your wings," he advised. "Glide instead. In low gravity, it'll work better."
"Thanks for the advice," Twilight replied as the group leapt along.
Alister shook his head in frustration, not sure how he felt about what was going on with that pair.
After the group leapt up a few platforms together in the altered gravity - Qwark and Nefarious practically taking turns stabilizing Twilight in the process - they reached a much larger platform of metal rather than stone. The flying spherical robot they'd seen just before the gravity went wonky appeared, still emitting strange blue waves.
Twilight quickly scanned it with her magic, then gasped. "That's what's screwing up the gravity!" she proclaimed. "We need to destroy it!"
"Could you shrink it down instead?" Nefarious asked. "Gravity manipulation tech like that could be useful."
"Too big," Twilight replied sadly. "The compression field won't enfold the entire robot."
"What if you put a shield around the gravity generator?" Qwark suggested. "So it doesn't break when we blow the robot up?"
Twilight tapped her chin for a time as the group evaded the rocks the Gravity Minion threw at them. "Hmm...can't maintain a shield for that long...but I think I can invert the gravity waves so that the generators protect themselves. But I'd need to get the oscillation just right, and it seems to be rotating..."
"I can lock onto the oscillation," Nefarious offered. "You've focused spells through technology before. Maybe if you focused it through me?"
"Worth a try," Twilight allowed, stepping behind Nefarious and sending a beam of magic into him as she focused. Nefarious then leveled his arm, altering the frequency of the magical energy as it passed through him, sending it at the enemy bot.
The Gravity Minion froze as its further attempts to throw rocks did nothing. It glanced at its tech to find the problem. "Now!" Nefarious barked out.
Qwark and Alister bombarded the bot with everything they had. With it unable to fight back, it was only a matter of time before it exploded, allowing Twilight to collect the Gravity Generators, stowing them the same way she stowed the rift jump robot. With gravity returning to normal, the metal platform lowered to join with others.
"Now that that's been dealt with, let's go!" Alister insisted, leading the way forward along the new path.
Further progress through the plains proved to be much the same as before. The four would follow the only path available for progress, using a mixture of acrobatics and gadgets, and blowing up any robots in their path. Twilight and Nefarious continued to debate various technical details regarding the application of the tech they were in the process of 'salvaging'. Qwark and Alister would attempt to follow, only to fail miserably. The only relief on that front was the occasional communication from Clank on Aphelion, indicating that at least someone was taking notes.
The first new obstacle they encountered involved an electrical being called a Voltergeist, which could be used to activate powerless devices in much the same way the Lumenoids had been used back on Igliak. While nothing that really caught their eyes, the next point of interest to follow were some hostile Gravoids, purple balloon shaped creatures that would inflate and take apart the floating platforms to attack.
"Gravoids?" Twilight asked, confused. "Those are indigenous to the black rock moons of Abaro! What are they doing here?"
"I imagine much the same thing we are," Alister suggested. "That ship showed up to grab the Z'Grute once it was down, and the robots also tried to grab Twilight. I think it may be designed to collect unique specimens throughout the universe and bring them here for...something."
"Is that why the recording from Dr. Frumpus Coy in that lab talked about being at war with Neevos Collectus?" Qwark asked.
"Precisely," Alister confirmed, surprised Qwark had kept track of those details.
"That's what the gravity bot was doing!" Twilight gasped out. "The black rock moons have a unique gravitational field! They were supposed to simulate their natural environment!"
"The only question then is why," Nefarious deduced. "While everything being done is beginning to make sense as far as the collection of rare and unique specimens - even the 'testing' facilities - it still doesn't explain the end goal. Why do all this? Anyone have any ideas?"
"...making a zoo?" Qwark suggested.
Nefarious glowered at Qwark. "Anyone have any sensible ideas?" he asked again.
"Genetic experiments to create the ultimate biological battle body via gene splicing?" Qwark tried again.
"...any sensible ideas that aren't terrifying?" Twilight whimpered hopefully.
"Maybe we should curb our speculation and keep going," Alister suggested. "Perhaps Susie will have more information once we make it somewhere we can rest safely for a time."
"That sounds like an eminently sensible suggestion!" Twilight stated eagerly, rushing forward.
"Well, you brought him along for some reason," Nefarious sniped teasingly.
The group continued through the plains, moving as quickly as possible. Before long, they encountered a new hostile enemy, a Gravoid that had been cybernetically augmented with parts from what looked like the Gravity Minion from earlier.
"Well...do I get to say I called it this time?" Qwark asked worriedly.
"I sincerely hope not," Twilight whimpered. "I don't want to be experimented on!"
"You won't be on our watch!" Alister insisted firmly as they all drew their weapons.
All four of them concentrated their fire on the Gravoid Brute, dodging the rockets it fired back at them. With their concentrated fire, it wasn't able to put up much of a fight, and soon fell apart in a fiery explosion. As it did, Susie's balloon pulled into view.
"Through solar winds or supernovas," she called out from the basket, "a galactic scout will-" Her voice paused as she caught sight of them. "Hey! You made it! Come on, my village is just ahead!"
Twilight let out a sigh of relief, eager for somewhere to lay down and rest. The group followed readily.
The four eagerly followed Susie's balloon, hoping to make it to the village soon. Twilight couldn't help but notice how...dilapidated everything appeared as they continued.
"It's not much to look at," Susie admitted, apparently anticipating Twilight's thought process. "Our last village was a lot nicer, but you know what ran us out of the woods."
"Umm...?" Twilight began, not entirely sure she was following what Susie was saying.
"I gotta go land my balloon," Susie replied, not noticing Twilight's confusion. "I'll be right back." With that, she took off ahead of the group.
The four moved onward along the only path in silence. Even the prospect of a new weapon available from Grummel-net - a Dopple-banger, an upgraded version of the Decoy Glove - didn't raise any spirits. The village itself was...a wreck. What huts were there were on the verge of falling apart, and the few civilians were struggling to keep life together. Three were trying to roast a creature over a spit, hoping it would cook well...and hoping it would agree with their digestive tracts.
"Is it done yet?" one asked worriedly.
"No idea," another replied. "I've never seen anything like it, so I have no idea how to cook it."
"Can...can we even eat it?" a third asked hopefully.
"If we can't, we starve anyway," the first grumbled. "I'll see what I can do to make it taste good."
"At least it'll taste better than the old shoe we split last week..." the youngest murmured hopefully.
Twilight simply stared at them for a long time, barely able to wrap her mind around the very idea of such desperation. Focusing her magic, she scanned the civilians and their catch. She then did a quick sweep of the area, and walked over to a nearby tree, ripping the bark off of it. She then quickly wrapped it around the catch. "The bark will leech the toxic elements from the meat," she explained. "When it falls off in ashes into the fire, the toxins will be gone and you can eat-" She paused in her speech as she saw Nefarious at the other end, stuffing some local grasses and mushrooms into the creatures maw.
"These should add some flavor," he explained. "I've made sure they won't cause any digestive issues with you, though I'd recommend not eating the grasses, and only the white mushrooms once it's cooked."
Alister, meanwhile, had knelt down near the youngest, pointing out various plant life. "Coloration plays a big part in identification of toxic plant life," he explained. "Avoid bright colors. The muted colors might not taste very good, but they'll be safe to digest."
Qwark had approached the oldest civilian, pulling out what looked like strangely configured binoculars. "Here," he said softly, handing them over. "Gadgetron scrounger goggles. Load up a sample of your DNA, and look through them at anything. It'll tell you if you can eat it without getting sick or poisoned. Use the button to snap a picture, and it'll print out how to prepare it."
As the four received their thanks and progressed on, all was silence. After a time, Nefarious noticed a few odd looks he was getting. "There's a difference between evil and heartless," he grumbled out.
"You've conquered before," Twilight pointed out. "The Fongoids of Zanifar?"
"Other than being locked up, did they look like they were under any hardship?" Nefarious countered. "Uncomfortable? Malnourished? Sleep deprived?"
Twilight thought back to Zanifar. "Hmm...now that you mention it...no."
"Still, I'm surprised their situation brought empathy out of you so quickly," Alister pointed out, jerking a thumb back towards the civilians they'd helped.
"I was a college student once," Nefarious replied readily. "Too well off for hardship scholarship, not high enough grades due to Qwark for a scholastic one, not physically fit enough for a sports scholarship."
"Ah," Alister replied understandingly, and said no more on the subject.
The group continued through the cobbled together village, hearing the complaints of the civilians, of the homes and memories lost, of the lives destroyed. All four grew more and more tense as they continued.
Before long, they heard Susie's voice again. "Initiating landing protocol! All cadets, clear the runway!"
All four paused, looking up to see the balloon coming in for a landing...only for a large Gravoid to grab hold of it and start carrying her off. Twilight spread her wings to race to her rescue, but warper minion bots appeared in the path, forcing the group to take the long way there...however short it was with Nefarious charging forward with his laser chainsaw extended, splitting any bot he came across down the middle. Twilight stayed close over his head, fully intent on obliterating anything that got in the way of her saving Susie.
Alister and Qwark raced along behind. "You get the feeling they don't really need us here?" Alister asked softly.
"I've felt like a fourth wheel on a tricycle ever since Twilight first started trying to include me in the heroics," Qwark replied easily. "Ratchet, Clank, Twilight...between the three of them, there is nothing in the universe that can stand against them."
"Then...how come you're always so eager to go along?" Alister asked curiously.
"Who wouldn't want to be along on one of those adventures?" Qwark countered logically.
Alister glanced around at the world around him. "I...guess I can't argue with that." He glanced back towards the civilians they'd helped. "...not at all..."
The four teammates continued their headlong charge to rescue Susie from the kidnapping Gravoid, heedless of obstacles. So strong was Twilight's concern for the poor girl that she didn't even question how some stone platforms were moving up and down in midair without any visible outside force making them move or keeping them in their movement patterns and not flying off into the distance.
Unfortunately, the headlong charge eventually led to a dead end, with a platform that was so high up only Twilight could reach the top. "What are we supposed to do now?" Twilight complained.
"There!" Alister called out, pointing to another nearby platform where gadgets similar in appearance to the Gelanator Twilight and Ratchet had made use of when they first arrived in Polaris sat. "Those are Glob Lobbers!"
Twilight turned to Alister. "Seriously?" she demanded in a deadpan tone. "That sounds like something Qwark would name."
"They were designed by the Agorians," Alister explained.
"The musclebound idiots at the colosseum?" Twilight clarified. When Alister nodded, she sighed. "Continue."
"The gel inside is generated by the Gadget," Alister explained, "and designed to both expand and drastically increase its gravitational spectrum once it comes in contact with ordinary atmosphere. It will also stick to just about any surface. The Agorians used them to anchor their warships in low gravity."
"And we can use them to manipulate platforms like this one?" Qwark asked, gesturing to it. "Is that why it has a symbol on it that looks like a splat image?"
"I'll question why that's there once we've saved Susie," Twilight replied, grabbing a Glob Lobber. Turning, she fired it a few times, and watched as each glob sticking to the platform spire caused it to lower bit by bit. As the others each grabbed a Glob Lobber and added their fire, the platform was soon low enough for the group to continue on.
Before long, the group reached the balloon...but there was no sign of its pilot. "Susie?" Qwark called out worriedly.
At that moment, a large mechanical drone flew in, bracing four long prongs on the edges of the platform the group was on, creating a dome field trapping the group there. The drone then flew away as more warping robots appeared inside to attack.
"So not fair!" Twilight complained loudly as the group began to mow their way through the hostiles. She attempted to breach the barrier with both magic and weaponry, but found them ineffective. "What?"
"It's a dimensional rift barrier," Nefarious explained. "It separates the contained space from the rest of the universe with a unique energy field based on studies of your abilities."
Twilight blinked. "Wait...this shield is based on my magic?" she asked, shocked.
"Explains why you can't get out," Alister grumbled.
"And why only the robots with proper clearance can get in," Nefarious confirmed as larger bots flew through the barrier to attack.
"So we should try and harvest the codes?" Twilight inquired.
"They're likely hardcoded to the bots themselves," Nefarious indicated. "However, artificial magical energy like this is taxing. If we're able to strain its limits to contain the altered space..."
"So blow stuff up until it breaks?" Qwark asked. "Can do!" With that, he leapt up to grab a cybernetically augmented Gravoid that had flown in and proceeded to smash it against the shield until both broke.
Nefarious blinked several times. He then leaned over to Twilight. "Would it do any good to say that shouldn't have worked?" he whispered.
"Qwark's abilities work based on belief," Twilight replied. "As long as he's convinced to the depths of his being that he can do something, he can."
"And here I thought I kept losing to him because he was stupidly lucky," Nefarious complained back. "Now I learn that he's stupidity empowered! So to beat him I somehow have to educate him? That's no fun! What, am I supposed to salt my fortresses with traps so that the only way he can progress is if he correctly answers math questions?"
"You inhuman savage!" Qwark squealed out in terror. "I knew you were a monster, but even you wouldn't go so far!"
Nefarious stared at Qwark for a time in disbelief. "...that is a seriously disappointing weakness..."
"I just got a communication from Ratchet and the others," Alister spoke up. "Susie's somewhere up ahead, and scans don't indicate her to be in any present distress. We can be more careful as we progress so we don't fall into any more traps like that."
"Then let's go!" Twilight insisted. As she led the way, she turned to Nefarious. "So-"
"Localized gravity wells with stable orbits focused on the cores of the platforms, and former anchor platforms specifically for docking using Glob Lobbers," Nefarious spoke up quickly. "Those are the answers to your platform questions, right?"
"And the reason the Glob Lobbers just happened to be there?" Twilight inquired.
"Likely because Qwark genuinely believes that nothing can stop us from overcoming this if we 'work together'-"
"I absolutely do!" Qwark sung out.
"-meaning his powers are warping reality so that random chance results in us finding the bare minimum of what we need to continue progress so that we're able to conquer this challenge while still having it be challenging," Nefarious concluded.
Twilight stared at Nefarious for a time. "...I don't think I want to think too hard about that..." she murmured before turning to lead the way further, pausing as she caught sight of another warp platform that required the collection of a certain amount of critters. "Umm..."
"According to the upgrades I gave my sensors while trying to access the Great Clock, the inside of that lab exists in warped space time, with only a few moments passing while we're in there," Nefarious offered.
"We can spare a few moments," Twilight decided, turning to access the lab.
With the lab trial completed and a second mecha part unlocked, the group once more continued to pursue Susie in order to ensure her safety. After a short distance, they encountered another local who seemed to be in great distress.
"The minions!" he called out despairingly. "They're after my friends!" He gestured to where numerous rock platforms rose up and down in a white mist. "Please, you have to help them!"
"That's what we do," Twilight replied, leading the way into the mist.
The platforms in the mist crumbled shortly after anyone stood on them, but the misty segment did not last long, easily allowing them all to get through, fighting their way through more swarms of bots that went down easily. Spotting the 'friends' being threatened by a mine generator, Twilight acted. While Qwark worked a Power Plunger to bridge the gap, Twilight flew over and seized the mines in her magic. Utilizing the tactics she had back in Solana, she surrounded herself with the telekinetically gripped mines and charged the device generating them, destroying it with its own weapons.
"You're a hero!" one of the saved civilians shouted.
"Tell her something she doesn't know!" Nefarious sniped back.
"You have a really pretty mane!" the second saved civilian offered, making Twilight blush with pleasure.
Nefarious glowered in frustration. "I don't know whether to zap him and claim I saw her first, or make a mental note to compliment her mane-do when it comes to the date."
"Yes," Alister replied firmly, grinning impishly.
"Stop encouraging him!" Qwark complained as he stopped Nefarious from reaching for his weapon while grinning wickedly.
"I have to have my fun somehow!" Alister snapped back.
"Hey! I'm the youngest here!" Twilight shouted. "I should not have to be the one making sure the rest of you behave!"
"Yes, Twilight," all three responded sullenly.
Grumbling, Twilight led the way further, the others following along behind.
Before long, they caught sight of Susie, still being dragged along by the Gravoid, and heard her screaming. "Put me down you stupid Gravoid! I'm a Galactic Scout! I have a Gold Arrow in Interstellar Bugology!"
"...that's not a word..." Twilight complained.
As she flew to pursue, a loud, deep voice echoed from somewhere. "Weeks until retirement and I'm hauling around creatures like a day-old minion! What am I, an amateur?"
Twilight hesitated. "W-what was that?" she asked worriedly.
"Sounds like an Elite Mook, or perhaps a High Ranked Lieutenant," Nefarious replied. "Why are you so scared?"
"In case you forgot, I'm one of the creatures these things want to 'collect'!" Twilight snapped back. "I don't want to be probed!"
"Oh, right, forgot about that," Nefarious admitted. "Probably because it's impossible for me to see you as a 'creature'."
"Stop flirting already!" Qwark complained as Twilight blushed happily.
"You're just mad you don't have anyone to flirt with," Alister teased.
"Of course I am!" Qwark proclaimed. "Aren't you?"
"...shut up," Alister grumbled.
In the distance, an exceptionally large creature of some sort that resembled a dark purple octopus was deposited by a flying mecha, where it promptly gripped the rocky islands that formed the path forward.
"Call me crazy, but I don't think that's friendly," Qwark commented dryly.
As they approached, it became plain the creature was equal parts flesh and metal, especially as its limbs whirred as it moved to attack them with the spikes at the end of each tentacle. As each tentacle erupted from the rock platform, they revealed a green, pulsing pustule which proved vulnerable to weapons fire. Acting on long training, each of the group focused on one pustule until all eight were damaged, causing the creature to go slack and open its mouth, allowing the group to launch a volley into its mouth and inflict actual damage to the creature.
This pattern repeated two more times, and then the creature fell from the rocky islands in the sky, descending far below. The group quickly moved to the next platform...where they found Susie jumping up and down on the Gravoid that had captured her, inflicting damage with each jump. The last jump caused the Gravoid to spurt away like a balloon that had been untied. "Did you see that?" she squealed at them all. "That was so cool!"
"Are you alright?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"I'm just fine!" Susie promised as a large bird - obviously tame - flew up and picked her up, letting her fly. "I'm a tough girl, just like Twilight Sparkle! She's the idol of every Galactic Scout! She was saving galaxies when she was even younger than me, so this is nothing!" She blinked at the group. "Say, you guys aren't from around here. Do you maybe know her?"
"Not a word!" Twilight snapped as Qwark, Alister, and Nefarious all started snickering. "I didn't bring my pen, anyway!"
Susie's eyes widened. "Wait...you're Twilight Sparkle?" she gasped out. "The Twilight Sparkle?"
"Well, I certainly hope there isn't another one running around out there," Twilight joked.
"Dear Maker, the universe couldn't take that!" Qwark gasped out despairingly. "It can barely handle one of you!"
"Qwark!" Twilight whimpered.
"But...but all the stories about you are of the adventures of a little kid like me!" Susie complained.
"Well, my first adventure was a decade ago," Twilight admitted.
Susie blinked, stunned. "Wow," she breathed out. "You got old."
"Hey!" Twilight snapped out angrily, flushing as Qwark and Alister burst into laughter.
Once Twilight got over her issues with being called 'old', the group followed Susie back to the native village using a Swing-hele-carrier, like what they'd ridden back on Igliak. Thankfully, this one didn't take anywhere near as long as the one back then, due to the altered gravity of the area. Once there, Glob Lobbers allowed them to pull down a bridge to a new area, in front of a wide, dark cave. As they approached, the entire area began to shake.
"Get down!" Susie hissed warily, grabbing Qwark's hand and tugging him into the brush, as everyone else present had dived for the nearest cover the moment everything began shaking, Nefarious following Twilight and Alister's lead.
Just as everyone was concealed, a glance up revealed a large circular space craft flying overhead resembling UFOs from Old Earth science fiction from below, large enough that the wake of its passage was causing the shaking. As it flew further, Twilight was able to recognize it as the ship that grabbed the four of them back on Igliak. Nearby, Qwark pulled Alister into a hug to try and suppress his own fear, much to Alister's irritation.
Inside the cave, the Elder of Susie's village explained things to them around a campfire. "We call it...Ephemerus, the Creature Collector." His deep, sonorous voice echoed through the cavern. "It's been around for over 100 years, snatching the universe's most dangerous beasts and bringing them here...to our planet."
"Who's in control of it?" Alister demanded, immediately seeking the necessary answers.
"No one knows," the Elder replied. "But that tyrant you saw in our village was its emissary, Commander Spog. He has been protecting Ephemerus for years." He looked up hopefully. "But, now that you're here..."
Twilight thought about that for a time. "Well, I do want a better look at that ship's tech...and maybe figure out what's going on with the planet's gravity fields while I'm at it..."
"Hey! I thought I had first dibs on the ship!" Nefarious complained.
"Nope, I'm the one who originally suggested stealing it back on Igliak, so I've got first dibs!" Twilight countered.
"Good old fashioned hero work, saving an entire planet?" Qwark asked eagerly. "Count me in!"
"I suppose I might as well see what it is about 'hero work' you lot find so appealing," Alister grumbled. "Besides, someone has to keep you two out of trouble." He sighed in resignation. "So...where do we find this Commander Spog?"
"The path to Commander Spog leads through the Dead Grove beyond this cave," the Elder explained.
Qwark looked a little nervous as he stared into the dark, overcast forest, filled with all sorts of creepy crawlies and other dangers. The flora alternated between dark and dreary and deadly bright colors, and some of each had teeth. The fauna looked even less inviting, as glowing eyes peered out from amongst the plants and shadows, hoots and howls echoing amongst the branches. "Doesn't seem...too bad," Qwark murmured. "Why do you call it the Dead Grove, anyway?"
"Because legend has it that the spirits of fallen warriors walk the hallowed paths amongst the trees," the Elder intoned, "seeking those who wander in, hoping to claim their lives for their own so they can complete the tasks they failed at in life. None who enter have ever returned..."
Qwark swallowed convulsively, slowly backing away from the barely visible trees. "Yeah...I'm not so big on the whole 'haunted forest' idea," he whimpered, twisting his hands together and glancing back and forth worriedly. "It's...kinda hard to punch ghosts..."
Twilight rolled her eyes in mild frustration, silently asking for patience. "That's why we have guns, BBBFF," she pointed out dryly. "All FTF weapons are equipped with the Theta Disruptor modifications that let them damage ethereal beings. We have nothing to worry about."
"Really?" Qwark asked, stunned.
"Yup!" Twilight replied, perhaps just a tad too quickly. "It's part of the FTF charged discharge system. If two or more weapons of the same type are locked onto an ethereal being, it'll be frozen in place, and the explosive discharge of a fully charged focal point will tear them apart."
Qwark's fearful expression slowly changed as he listened to Twilight's words, gradually becoming a wide grin. "You put the best tech in these things, LSBFF!" Qwark proclaimed happily, charging into the forest with his weapon out, Alister matching pace.
Nefarious watched Qwark until he was out of hearing range, thenleaned down to Twilight's side. "How much of that was total BS to make him feel better?" he whispered conspiratorially.
Twilight chuckled softly before responding out of the corner of her mouth without moving her lips. "As long as he believes it, none."
Nefarious grinned widely, suppressing his own desire to cackle madly. "Sneaky, using his abilities to our benefit like that. I like it!"
"Does that mean you're coming along?" Twilight asked teasingly, glancing sidelong at him from under her eyelashes. "I didn't think you wanted to be a hero?"
"And leave your safety in the hands of those two?" Nefarious countered derisively. "I haven't looked forward to anything as much as Friday in a long time. I'm not letting some upstart villain get in the way of that!"
Chuckling, Twilight set off after Qwark and Alister, not wanting to let them get too far ahead. Priming his own weapons, Nefarious quickly followed, grinning from ear to ear. "So...out of curiosity...how large is the area of effect of Qwark's 'I think, therefor it is' abilities?"
Twilight paused, scratching her chin thoughtfully. "You know, I'm not sure. I never bothered to test it, because I didn't want him to get the impression there were limits to it..."
"Well...it's not like there really are such things as ghosts...right?" Nefarious offered nervously.
"I'm the Captain of a bloodthirsty crew of space pirates," Twilight replied. "Half of them are undead ghosts bound to technological forms through an ancient curse vulnerable to magical discharge, such as the Theta Disruptor I mentioned."
"The...one you don't have with you?" Nefarious asked worriedly, his eyes darting about.
"Umm...no," Twilight admitted.
They glanced at each other for a time, then quickly took off, running at top speed to catch up with Qwark.
Close to the entrance of the Dead Grove, another shop terminal had been planted, where the group was able to acquire new weapon, the Warmonger rocket launcher. Cackling more than a little wickedly, Twilight once again bought one for everyone, as well as the upgrades available for the weapons they already had in their possession. They also received a message from Ratchet regarding a supply depot at the other end of the forest, likely where they'd find Commander Sprog. With weapons and information in hand, the group made their way further in.
Before long, they came across spiky yellow caterpillars the size of Alister. "What are those?" Twilight yelped, jumping back from a creepy crawly larger than herself.
"Dreadgrubs," Nefarious replied readily. "Relatively large, tendency to curl up and roll to attack, the spikes on their backs deflect energy based projectiles when they're curled up. Frustrating, but relatively weak. Just don't let it get on your back, its underside is its mouth."
"Eeyurg!" Qwark cried out, wriggling in displeasure.
"Well, we all have non-energy weapons," Alister pointed out as he lashed out with his wrench-spear.
Shivering, Twilight drew her own wrench, only to blink in surprise as Nefarious stepped protectively between her and the Dreadgrubs, turning the laser aspect off his arm chainsaw before wading into the fray. She could see past Nefarious that Qwark was using his fists to deal with the grubs, but she was more focused on how readily Nefarious had stepped up to deal with something she was uncomfortable with, and something that was an unusual danger to her. A thoughtful expression crossed her face.
As Dreadgrubs were plentiful in the early portions of the Dread Grove, Twilight was content to hang back and let the others lead the way at first. She stepped up to the fray when a new large creature showed, a tank sized ladybug-shaped creature Nefarious was able to identify as a Grove Beetle. Its armored shell proved impervious to weapons...until its charge had been dodged, causing it to slam into a wall and flip over, exposing its vulnerable underbelly. The second time they encountered one, Twilight discovered she could indeed use her magic to forcefully flip the creature onto its back.
After the second, the group paused as they spotted a robotic minion at a water cooler, apparently having a drink before returning to his armored turret nearby. "If we get too close," Alister murmured, "that bot will spot us and withdraw to his turret. Then we'll need to figure out a way around it..."
"But we don't have any weapons with reach that far!" Nefarious snapped back. "And I'm not about to play distraction!"
"Or I could remotely control the turret from here to take him out," Twilight offered.
"Oh yeah, you can do that!" Qwark responded eagerly as she moved to the fore.
With the turret dealt with, they were able to keep going, where they found a new gadget for the four of them, Quakehammers. Twilight examined them carefully. "Umm...how, exactly, are these different from jackhammers?" she asked curiously.
"While they're used the same way," Alister explained, "Quakehammers build up a charge when used. When the charge is unleashed, it causes a localized tectonic shift that can be used to, amongst other things, blast stone walls and the like down from their moorings. Good for clearing pathways and other things."
"Really?" Twilight asked, intrigued.
"Allow me to demonstrate!" Qwark proclaimed, taking his to a likely rock before a stone wall. Hopping on, he rode it for a time until the charge was built up. When it was released, a massive quake shook the tunnel they were in, causing the rock wall ahead of them to collapse, clearing the path.
"Ooh..." Twilight all but purred. "I wonder if I could weaponize that..." She began a careful examination of her Quakehammer.
"Be careful with tinkering," Nefarious warned. "This gadget is precariously balanced. You might want to start with reinforcement of the energy flow channels..."
Alister shook his head as Twilight and Nefarious once again began discussing ways to turn a perfectly innocent gadget into a superweapon. "I want to say he's a bad influence on her," Alister began, "but I can't help but think she'd be doing this with or without him."
"She would," Qwark replied grumpily. "If anything, having Nefarious to help gives her someone to test these with that can be put back together if things go wrong." Sighing, Qwark pushed forward.
Before long, the group found themselves trapped under another pocket-space shield dome. "We really need to find a way to stop that from happening," Alister grumbled.
Twilight hesitated. "Actually..."
Turning, Alister saw Twilight and Nefarious hefting heavily altered Quakehammers...which now looked like actual hammers, rather than jackhammers. He sighed, facepalming. "Go ahead..."
Squealing together, Twilight and Nefarious rushed forward to the edge of the shield dome. Swinging the altered gadgets, they struck the barrier together. The entire dome shook, cracked, and shattered in a flash of white light. "It worked!" Twilight cheered. "By building up the charge based on the movement of the one carrying the gadget rather than the gadget's own movement, a much greater charge capacity enables instantaneous release of tectonic energy that can be discharged through anything it strikes!"
"Where did you come up with such an idea, anyway?" Nefarious asked eagerly.
"An Old Earth animated series Daddy and I really liked," Twilight admitted. "I wasn't able to follow all of it, but...I think there were 'magical' pirates? One of the characters had an ability like this-"
"Oh, Whitebeard!" Nefarious cried out gleefully. "I loved that guy!"
Much to Alister and Qwark's stupefaction, the scientifically inclined pair proceeded to debate various points of 'anime'.
With the barrier trap destroyed, no hostiles could warp in, allowing the group to leap ahead even as Twilight and Nefarious continued their spirited discussion. The path was blocked by another stone wall sealing off a tunnel, allowing Twilight to demonstrate that the improved Quakehammer - which she dubbed The Smash-Hammer, barring a better name - worked just as well for its original purpose.
"Say, it builds up charge from you or the Hammer moving now, right?" Qwark asked curiously.
"That's right!" Twilight preened, working on applying the modifications to Qwark and Alister's gadgets now that she'd demonstrated they didn't need to keep the original form to maintain function.
"Then couldn't you constantly swing it for small discharges of tectonic energy?" he asked curiously. "Enough to send a large group of targets flying, at any rate?"
Twilight paused on Alister's unit. She levitated Qwark's completed one over to him. "Show me what you mean," she instructed.
Grinning widely, Qwark lifted his Smash-Hammer - which had been modified with mostly yellow materials - and proceeded to swing it rapidly up over his shoulders and down into the ground and anything else in front of him, each impact releasing a small surge of tectonic energy that was enough to heavily damage anything impacted. "See?" he asked, his voice filled with boyish excitement.
Twilight rubbed her chin. "Hmm...you know, if I attached a motor, I could probably make it do that automatically..."
"Perhaps we should save that for another time?" Alister offered.
"Why?" Nefarious demanded in irritation. "What's wrong with doing it now?"
"We do have a planet to save," Alister scolded.
"Not a hero, remember?" Nefarious countered.
"Don't you want to save something to talk about for your date?" Qwark offered.
"Good point!" Nefarious admitted, turning to march forward. "But if you ever tell anyone I admitted you had a good point, I'll play jump-rope with your large intestine to a cadence of everything I hate about you, while making sure you're still awake and listening."
"Eeyurgh!" Qwark winced, pulling back from the mental image.
"You're surprisingly good at that," Alister whispered in praise.
"It's actually rather upsetting how naturally I took to politics," Qwark admitted sadly. "It's basically feeding anyone who listens whatever lie they'll swallow that will make you look the best, and fitting however much truth into it you can to avoid getting caught. My heroing career was...surprisingly good practice for that."
Alister frowned, unsure how to respond to that.
As they continued, the group received another message from Ratchet and the others, about a railway station connected to an old mining station directly below them. Spotting some cracked ground, Qwark grinned widely. "Down we go!" he called out, smashing the ground beneath him with his Smash-Hammer and letting them all drop down.
Below, the group found an explosive fruit bulb, along with gates blocking the path in either direction. Twilight solved this conundrum easily by ripping both gates out at their hinges and folding the metal in her telekinetic grip. "It's really easy to do this with materials that aren't animate," she explained as Nefarious and Alister stared. "Anything that's self-motivated - whether animal or robot - drastically increases the difficulty since their natural movement interferes with the fields..."
"You...don't seem all that surprised by this," Alister pointed out.
"Remember when Dad was telling our story?" Qwark pointed out. "And the part about how we met back in Blackwater City? When she ripped a wall from its moorings while squealing fannishly about meeting me?"
"...oh yeah..." Alister mumbled. "And that was over a decade ago..."
"And she's just gotten stronger as she's gotten older," Nefarious marveled.
Twilight blushed as she noticed all the stares. "Come on, guys! You're embarrassing me! Let's just get a move on, okay?" She tossed the neatly folded gates aside with a loud clang.
The group made their way forward at Twilight's request, fighting their way through more Dreadgrubs and bouncing on giant mushrooms...pausing long enough for Alister to convince all three others to "Stop bouncing already!" The twisting and turning paths continued to lead down into the depths of the Grove, breaking through several more similar barriers and facing more of the same hostiles they'd encountered before, dealing with them in much the same way. After a time, however, a massive purple grub could be seen writhing in the foliage in the distance.
"I...hope we don't have to fight that," Twilight murmured worriedly.
"Odds are we will," Qwark grumbled.
"It's a carnivorous Wig Wump," Nefarious indicated. "It'll probably try to eat us when we get to the rails near it."
"Let's hope we don't have to," Alister muttered. "They're really bad tempered."
Thankfully, the path seemed to lead them away from the Wig Wump, and after grinding down a few rails towards an access shaft, they found new gadgets...Jet Packs.
"Ooh!" Twilight squealed as she pulled hers off and started tinkering, her wings keeping her aloft. "This is absolutely fascinating!"
Alister, Qwark, and Nefarious all stared. "That's it!" Nefarious proclaimed firmly. "I am figuring out how to give my robotic body functional wings! They are plainly just too useful to go without at this point! It'll be worth the effort of figuring out how to install a self contained specific gravity modulator that won't drain my systems dry just keeping me in the air!"
"If you get it to work, I might just see the appeal of roboticization," Qwark challenged, unsure himself how much of what he just said was goading and how much was honest.
While Alister, Nefarious, and Qwark slowly descended the shaft, being careful to avoid the hazards - such as flame jets on either side of the shaft and spinning blades - while also trying to move fast to conserve any possible fuel limitations, Twilight kept herself afloat with her wings while endlessly tinkering with the jetpack she'd grabbed. Nefarious, meanwhile, relied on proximity alerts to maneuver himself around the obstacles in the shaft while he kept his focus on Twilight, taking note on the shape of her wings and what his sensors told him about the way her natural energy fields surrounded her while she flew.
As they continued downward, Alister glanced around worriedly. "How far down does this shaft reach?" he marveled.
"Probably to the surface," Qwark mused. "I mean, we are descending from floating stone islands, after all."
Alister blinked a few times. "Twilight, do you think you can stop tinkering for a while?" he called out plaintively. "It's unnerving when Qwark is the smart one!"
"Hey!" Qwark complained as Twilight burst into giggles and Nefarious into maniacal laughter.
Further down the shaft, they encountered more minion bots in proton powered excavation units, which had been weaponized. The minions were shielded by glass domes. "How are we supposed to get past them?" Qwark demanded. "We can't wield our weapons while controlling the jetpacks-"
A blast of kinetic energy smashed into the dome, shattering it and exploding the entire excavation unit. "Yes!" Twilight crowed happily. "It worked!"
"Twilight, what did you do?" Alister demanded.
Grinning, Twilight turned to show off her modifications to the jetpack. "Using the tech in the Smash-Hammers for inspiration, I redesigned the jetpack to absorb the kinetic energy of the descent and store it, to be released as controlled kinetic energy missiles! And the best part is that, unlike the Smash-Hammers, you don't have to release all the energy at once, so you can store multiple shots!"
Nefarious guided himself over to Twilight so he could get a better look. "Oh, I see!" Whipping his own jetpack off, he dropped several dozen feet before strapping it back on with the modifications completed, once more taking flight.
"You know, I could have held you in my levitation field while you worked on it," Twilight pointed out as she and the others caught up to him.
Nefarious scratched his dome for a time. "...probably would have been a good idea," he admitted, "but racing gravity was more fun!"
"Next time we can stop, give us the modifications," Alister instructed.
"Will do!" Twilight promised as Nefarious tested out his jetpack's kinetic missile launcher.
With all four jetpacks thusly upgraded, the trip towards the bottom of the shaft progressed much more smoothly. At one point, a wall of spinning blades began to follow the group down the shaft, but they were more than far enough ahead of the hazard to keep their lead. At that point, the shaft stopped in another wall of spinning blades, leaving only a path to the east that they had to fly through.
"This is going to be long and frustrating, isn't it?" Twilight grumbled as she folded her wings, activating the jets on her pack for the first time. "Gonna give my wings a rest..."
"Extended flight causes that much strain?" Nefarious asked worriedly.
"Normally, I fly quickly to the destination," Twilight explained. "This is the first time I've stayed in the air this long without thermal assist. The continuous flapping to maintain altitude and velocity is straining my muscles."
"When we next land, I have a few neural stimulation treatments that should help your muscles relax," Nefarious offered solicitously. "I downloaded them back when I got suspicious a newly hired masseuse had no idea what she was really doing, and I wanted to check her methods."
Qwark whistled innocently, distancing himself from Nefarious as much as he could.
"Do I...want to know?" Nefarious asked cautiously.
"No!" Twilight and Alister insisted firmly.
"Thanks for the offer, though," Twilight added. "I think I'll take you up on it."
After a very long descent, the group finally reached relatively solid ground again, landing near another comm uplink with arms dispenser. Before approaching it, Twilight flopped down. "Massage now..." she murmured, tossing Alister her bolt card so he could purchase whatever new weapons were available for everyone, along with any new upgrades.
Nefarious quickly moved to Twilight's side, his scanners focused tight on her muscles as he brought his hands up. "So...how does this feel?" he asked carefully as he pressed his fingers against a particularly tight knot of muscle, releasing the stimulating electroshock from his fingertips directly into her neural pathways.
Twilight let out a soft, pleased moan as the muscles relaxed. "Ohh...very nice..." she purred.
Chuckling, Nefarious continued his work relaxing Twilight's muscles. After a time, Alister returned from the vendor. "So what's new?" Nefarious asked curiously.
"Blitzers," Alister explained, tossing over the weapons. "Energized boxing gloves."
"So...basically the new gen Walloper?" Twilight murmured in response. "Yeah, not really useful. What's the FTF effect?"
"An electrical shock field," Alister answered.
Twilight thought about that for a time. "Yeah...completely useless," she confirmed.
"Until we get a hold of it, right?" Nefarious suggested teasingly.
Twilight grinned widely. "Let's see what we can do with these, shall we?" she asked, pulling out her tools.
Alister shook his head as he watched. "Is this what their date's going to be like?" he asked Qwark. "Will they even leave the lab?"
"Hope so," Qwark countered. "Twilight deserves more than that for a first date..."
Before heading into the railway station, Twilight and the others stopped at another 'lab warp' to solve another critter related puzzle - which proved far more complex than the previous ones, but just as easy for the group to solve - unlocking another part of the mecha that was visible at the end of the lab, this time the right arm. Once back out, Alister turned to Twilight. "So...what did you and Nefarious make of the Blitzers?" he asked curiously.
Grinning widely, Twilight lifted one hoof with what seemed to be the same weapon as before...only for the fist of the boxing glove to launch forward on a rocket to slam heavily into a nearby tree before returning to Twilight.
"Rocket punch!" Qwark squealed eagerly.
"It was the best we could do with the resources available," Twilight admitted as she passed out the upgraded weapons. "I'd have much rather turned it into remote punching drones...but we didn't have enough circuitry to work with."
"This will do," Alister reassured her. "We have more than enough weaponry as is, after all."
The group then moved forward slowly into the mining station. As they moved, they spotted another of the larger robots, armed with a heavy mortar launcher. It attempted to attack them from long range, but the Warmonger rocket launchers proved more than adequate to take it down.
Another shield trap was placed to try and contain the group, but the Smash-Hammers dealt with it - and the robot minions that tried to attack them beneath the dome - quite rapidly. Before long, the group reached the railway station, finding a platform that - according to Ratchet - would take them directly to Commander Sprog.
As they rode the platform, however, the massive Wigwump burst through a wall of roots and thorns to attack them, biting through the rails the platform rode on and dumping the group into the abyss below, following the Wigwump as it dove.
"Why can't anything ever be easy?!" Twilight wailed angrily as she angled herself to dive.
"Because life doesn't work that way," Alister countered as the others activated their jetpacks to slow their fall. "If something can go wrong to make our lives more difficult, it will."
"Besides, where's the fun in things being too easy?" Qwark added.
"Going out to buy a dress for my first date," Twilight countered. "And looking up a few books of etiquette so I know how to act on a date. And actually having a chance to get excited and nervous about the date!"
Nefarious stared at her in surprise. "You...you're really looking forward to this, aren't you?"
"Of course I am!" Twilight countered. "With as crazy as my life has been, for once in my life I'll get a bit of normal!"
"So...going on your first date with your big brother's nemesis who is an evil mad scientist robot...is something you consider normal?" Alister cautiously clarified.
"Well...relatively speaking," Twilight admitted. "I mean, isn't it normal for rebellious teenage girls to date guys their parents don't approve of?"
"If I thought for a minute that was why you agreed to the date, I might be offended," Nefarious teased jokingly.
At that moment, the Wigwump burst through the side of the shaft they were descending through, its mouth wide as it tried to eat them before spewing a wave of partially digested rock towards them.
"...oh yeah, we had a giant monster to fight," Qwark recalled. "Funny how things like that can slip your mind."
Rolling her eyes, Twilight unleashed a barrage of her jetpack's stored kinetic missiles, inflicting heavy damage on the Wigwump. Nefarious and the others quickly added their own barrage, delivering enough damage to finish off the Wigwump. The carcass slowly descended the shaft ahead of the group, clearing it of obstacles and allowing them to descend without problems.
"So...how long is this shaft, anyway?" Qwark asked curiously.
"No idea," Nefarious replied. "I can't scan anything past the Wigwump. We're just going to have to wait until we actually reach the bottom to find out."
"Which could take a while," Twilight admitted. "We're still a ways above the world's surface, or what's left of it. I imagine it's highly likely we'll be spending a long time slowly descending after a giant dead purple grub until it hits a solid enough surface to disintegrate."
"So we're just going to have to find some way to pass the time, then?" Alister asked.
"Not exactly going to be easy," Twilight grumbled. "No other dangerous fauna is going to be living near the burrow of something this massive, all the interesting flora was outside this shaft, the Wigwump is going to destroy anything below us before we can see it, and the entire shaft is boring as heck! What are we supposed to do to pass the time?"
All four fell silent as they thought about that for a while. "We could...do weapon maintenance?" Alister suggested.
"The Wigwump's body isn't sturdy enough as is to support your weight without you sinking into its flesh," Twilight pointed out. "And you can't work on weapons while controlling the jetpack."
"I happen to have several classical music pieces stored in my memory banks," Nefarious offered. "I could temporarily reconfigure my voice synthesizer to play them."
Twilight thought about that for a time. "Maybe," she admitted. "But then we couldn't chat."
"We have to save something to talk about on the date," Nefarious indicated teasingly.
"I know what we can do!" Qwark called out happily. As all eyes turned to him, he continued, "I spy with my little eye-"
"Wigwump," all three responded immediately.
Qwark stared at them all. "I didn't even give the letter yet! How did you know?"
Felinoid hand, robotic gauntlet, and equine hoof met face.
Eventually, the Wigwump's carcass fell through the bottom of the shaft into a pool of lava where it slowly dissolved. Twilight and the others carefully landed on relatively solid ground nearby. Putting her jetpack away, Twilight shrugged her shoulders as she focused her attention forward. "Let's see what awaits us now," she muttered, leading the way forward through the only path available. As she did, she muttered under her breath, "I miss exploring..."
Not far ahead, a railway station could be seen through the dark forest...and Twilight was so focused on getting to it that she nearly tripped over a yellow, egg-shaped device. "Whoop!" she grunted as she caught herself before levitating the device up. "...what's this?" she wondered, scanning the device for anything dangerous before pressing what looked like a button on the front.
The device immediately popped open, revealing a screen that displayed a scene similar to the foliage around them. The same voice they'd heard in the alter-space labs spoke as the image shifted, sounding very tired. "Holo-diary entry 005." The image shifted to show a swarm of some sort attacking a massive burning structure. "They came during the night, hundreds of them, and they attacked without warning. I stood atop Zuzo Fields and watched in horror as Commander Spog and his armies lay waste to Uzo City. Through ribbons of fire, I saw my creation, bloated and terrible a deadly moon hanging silently amongst the destruction." The image shifted upward, revealing a silhouette of the ship that had brought them to this world. "Ephemeris." Flames covered the screen, and a new image appeared. A strange figure silhouetted through a window, holding what looked like a strange white cat. "What plans does my enemy have for this ark? I can't explain it, but I feel as if some dark fate haunts us all from the future, and Ephemeris..." The flames shot across the screen again, and the image changed to a close up on the figures face, eyes glowing white and the mouth pulled back in a sharp-toothed grin. "...is the key." The image shifted again, this time to the same structure now a wasteland, with a hunched figure staring out over it. "These things will not stop with Magnus. We are simply the first steps, and I, Doctor Frumpus Croid, cannot shake the feeling that it was my work that made it possible." Slowly, the image dissolved into static.
Alister frowned, rubbing his chin. "We seem to have picked up several useful bits of information," he murmured.
"Yup!" Twilight agreed. "We now know that ship's called Ephemeris. An interesting name, to be sure. Certainly shows originality."
"And he called it an ark," Nefarious added. "Sounds like it was originally meant as some sort of emergency transport, maybe."
"And whoever's controlling it now is the bad guy!" Qwark proclaimed firmly. "...right?"
Groaning, Alister put his hand to his face. "Yes, Qwark, that's the bad guy we're trying to stop."
"Thought so," Qwark confirmed. "I mean, he was in a menacing silhouette and everything!"
Alister just shook his head in frustration. "At any rate, we need to find Commander Spog, both to cripple enemy forces and get more information."
"There's a rail station up ahead," Twilight indicated. "Hopefully, we can ride this one without more distractions."
The rail station ride proved as uneventful as Twilight could have hoped for, and as quick. Before long, they arrived at the area designated as the Northern Extra-terrestrial Sorting Terminal...or N.E.S.T. for short. As luck had it, another shop satellite had landed nearby, allowing the group to purchase three new weapons. The first weapon, the Critter-Strike, was the latest in the long line of humorously effective transformative weaponry dating back all the way to the Morph-o-Ray, this one turning enemy hostiles into pigs. The second was the latest model of Mr. Zurkon, this one utilizing the FTF tech to coordinate its attacks with other Zurkon synthenoids. The third was a Pyro-Blaster, a flamethrower of Kerchu design, the FTF tech creating a fiery magma blast. Twilight eagerly purchased everything for everyone.
"You just can't get enough of the new toys, can you?" Qwark joked teasingly.
"Nope!" Twilight replied eagerly. "I wonder what I can make with these? I mean, I've already made the Bearded modifications to the Mr. Zurkons-"
"Bearded?" Nefarious asked curiously.
"I altered the Mr. Zurkon's to be able to generate a facsimile of my magical energy," Twilight explained. "In addition to massively increasing their firepower, it enables a wide variety of attacks that can get around most defenses." She hesitated. "However, for these ones, I removed the 'Locate City' self-destruct sequence."
Nefarious stared at Twilight for a time. "...and now you play tabletop games, too? Twilight, you are making it very hard for me to stay focused on saving this planet."
Twilight chuckled indulgently. "At any rate, there's really not much I can do with the Critter-Strike...but the Pyro-Blaster...oh, I'm going to have fun messing with a fire weapon again...maybe I can add ice or lightning functions..."
"Well give me the Critter-Strike, then," Nefarious interjected, picking up the weapons in question. "I bet I can make something interesting with them. Maybe I can design it to make the pigs explode-"
"Black Sheepinator and the Qwack-o-Blitzer," Twilight countered distractedly.
"Okay...what if I tweak it so the pigs attack-"
"Qwack-o-Blitzer."
"...oh! What if I tweak it so that when the pigs get squashed, they release Nanotech?"
"Ooh!" Twilight piped up eagerly. "That's new! How are you going to do it?"
"Most of these monstrous mutations and robotic rampages we're dealing with involve runaway nanotech in some way, shape or form," Nefarious explained logically. "If I tweak the energy wave of the Critter-Strike so it stabilizes the Nanotech inside the target, it'll be stored in the pig form until broken open like a biological nanotech crate!"
"Bet I finish with the Pyro-Blaster first!" Twilight challenged.
"You're on!" Nefarious barked back eagerly.
Sighing, Alister leaned back against the nearby cliff face they'd soon have to scale. "We'll be here for a while, won't we?" he asked to no one in particular.
"I'd give it ten minutes, unless Twilight insists on waiting for Nefarious to finish," Qwark countered calmly. "In the meantime, I'm going to take a mini-siesta. Wake me when they're done." With that, Qwark lay back against the cliff face and immediately began snoring.
With Twilight and Nefarious racing to complete their modifications, both finished up in eight minutes, and at exactly the same time. Nefarious' modification to make the pigs generated by the Critter-Strike release Nanotech worked like a charm, while Twilight had successfully converted the Pyro-Blaster into the Element Blaster, with a Fire, Ice, Lightning, and Soundwave function, the last based off the Smashhammer's tectonic energy by shaking the air molecules to deliver a ranged force pulse. The pair had then spent the next two minutes modifying the FTF tech so that unique effects could be created by combining different elements when the weapons were fired together. The most effective occurred when each weapon fired a different Element, creating a massive centralized implosion that could crush numerous enemies together in a miniature singularity.
The test firing of this function shocked Qwark awake when the singularity exploded as the energies keeping it collapsed ran out. "Who, wha, huh?"
"Twilight and Nefarious just turned ordinary weapons into planet breaking superweapons," Alister explained.
"Oh, again?" Qwark murmured. He paused as he felt the air. "Ah, that shockwave's not even a four pointer on the Orvus scale. I can go back to sleep..."
"Except they're finished tinkering, so we can get moving again," Alister added.
Qwark sighed as he pushed himself back up. "Alright..." he grumbled, checking his watch. "Huh. Ten minutes exactly."
"So where do we go from here?" Twilight asked curiously as she passed out the upgraded weapons.
Nefarious pointed up the cliff, where swing-launchers waited to propel them to the top. "We go up," he offered.
"...seriously?" Twilight demanded angrily. "After all that time going down, now we have to go back up?"
"Wonky gravity is wonky," Qwark offered consolingly.
Grumbling to herself, Twilight moved to scale the cliff with the others.
The group climbed upward, encountering few obstacles other than climbing at first, until they discovered the main road blocked and another group of displaced Tharpods, as Spog's minions had apparently overrun their settlement. After lending some assistance to the refugees, they made their way through the blockade, finding several bridges blocked by precariously positioned boulders held barely in place. All four of them had fun taking turns setting the boulders free to roll across the bridges and smash through obstacles.
At one point, they encountered puddles of Weevoid Toxin splattered about, blue liquid that clung to anything that stepped in it, locking them in place until someone broke them free. Qwark got caught in it three separate times, much to Nefarious' amusement and Alister's frustration. Before long, they encountered the Weevoids themselves, large purple scorpion-like creatures that wore native stone as a protective, concealing shell that at first glance seemed far too small for the size of the creature it concealed. Nefarious quickly tested the improved Critter-Strike to prove the functionality worked well, and discovered that it did...although rather than the pigs storing the Nanotech, it was released as soon as the transformation completed, flying over to the group to replenish any lost.
"Not what I designed it to do, but certainly efficient," Nefarious muttered. "I'll take it."
"And this way we don't have to squash the piggy!" Twilight added happily.
The group kept pressing on along the sunny path, keeping an eye out for Critters to collect and new hazards or enemies to fight. A new Minion type robot - flying ones called Hunter Minions - proved to be only slightly more durable than standard. "Whoever's building these really needs to work on design," Alister murmured. "As much as I'm happy to be able to breeze through this...where's the challenge?"
"Do you want to face off against robots equipped with weapons reverse engineered from what Twilight and I have been designing?" Nefarious hissed spitefully.
"Oh hell no!" Qwark wailed, terrified of the very idea.
"Exactly!" Nefarious confirmed. "Now shut up!"
"Nefarious, be nice," Twilight chided.
"Don't try to change me, baby!" Nefarious countered playfully.
"Call me baby again and I'll turn you into one," Twilight snapped severely.
"Note to self: Twilight does not like being called baby," Nefarious muttered, recording yet another self-memo.
Qwark and Alister both chuckled, and the group then climbed for a time in silence. Eventually, they reached the occupied settlement, which proved to be heavily fortified. The group paused before actually reaching the point where they could be seen by the defending troops. "Alright," Twilight began, "how are we going to find out what's up there without alerting them to our presence? Pretty sure me flying up or floating any of us up would have them firing on us right away."
"I could sneak up," Alister offered cautiously, "but stealth was never really my strong point in combat training."
"Despite putting Dad through a course of guerrilla warfare when sending him to Bogon," Qwark added, "I...never actually completed such a course."
"Or I could scout it out," Nefarious suggested. "They wouldn't shoot at me."
"...because you're a robot?" Twilight asked suspiciously.
"Not exactly, but yes," Nefarious replied, reaching up to his neck. "You see, these are mass produced minion bots. Robots like these have very limited reasoning functions, so they'll have a specific list of targets to shoot at based on visual profiles. While my entire body might match a profile in their programming..." With a click, he removed his head from his neck. "This wouldn't. In fact, it would probably more closely resemble a Hunter Minion bot in transport mode in shape." He glanced around at the stunned expressions directed his way. "Now, who's going to throw me?"
Alister braced himself as he caught Nefarious' head on the way down. "Did you see enough?" he asked.
"Yup!" Nefarious confirmed as Twilight attached his head back to his body. "And the best part is they aren't moving, and there aren't any friendly targets amongst them."
"I...fail to see how that's the best part..." Qwark murmured in confusion.
Twilight giggled happily. "I don't. Get your Plasbomb Launchers out, everyone. And the Element Blasters, too!"
"This is going to be abjectly terrifying, isn't it?" Alister asked nervously as he pulled out the requested weapons.
A quick connector modification and Twilight had everyone's weapons connected, the Element Blasters each set to a different element and channeling the energy into the Plasbombs. "And now we just locate the ideal target location..." Twilight murmured as she and Nefarious ran calculations based on what Nefarious observed. "Adjust the payload for a greater launch range...adapt the Plasbombs for Elemental eruption...FIRE!"
All four immediately launched the mortars, which sailed through the air towards where the enemy troops were based. When they landed, the combined explosion caused the intra-element reaction to create the explosive temporary singularity, obliterating all the troops in that location.
"Success!" Nefarious crowed happily, cackling in triumph.
"Yes yes yes yes yes!" Twilight chanted as she bounced happily around him. "It worked! It worked!"
"And how much of the settlement they were occupying is left standing?" Alister asked sternly.
Twilight froze in her bouncing. "...oops?"
"We can always rebuild it before we leave," Nefarious countered. "Nothing to fuss over."
"True!" Qwark agreed happily.
"And now I'm not so sure about it," Nefarious quipped dryly.
Alister shook his head, deciding to leave things along for now. "Well, as long as we've got a clear path, let's get moving."
"Right!" Twilight agreed, taking to the air.
As they followed along the now clear path, the voice they'd heard aboard the Ephemeris echoed. "Attention Tharpods. By order of Commander Spog, this land now belongs to the Master. Please, remain calm, gather your belongings, and relocate to the corner of We Don't Care and Not Our Problem."
"...I really don't like that computer," Twilight grumbled angrily.
Eventually, they reached a point where more hostiles blocked the path, and the group once more drew their weapons to mow their way through. Twilight disabled the connector between the Element Blasters and the Plasbomb Launchers, as that combination only really worked well as a stationary attack point on a distant, non-moving target. Using the same connector to put the Element Blaster energy into the Devastator homing rocket launcher, on the other hand...
"I'm beginning to think we might want to pull back on the firepower," Alister commented dryly as he stared out at the smoking waste ahead of them.
"Why?" Nefarious countered. "The robots did most of this damage!" Shrugging it off, he turned to Twilight. "By the way, how did you make that assembly field?" he asked curiously.
Smiling, Twilight tapped the helmet she'd donned. "Pilot's Helmet," she explained. "Picked it up on the first adventure back in Solana, made some modifications to make it work with my magic, and I can use it to generate a field in which any tech inside will expand into its component parts so I can see how best to modify it. It's not as efficient as using the simulator I built based on it, which I left back in our home in Metropolis, since it puts a bit of a strain on my magic and mind..." She paused, gently tapping her horn. "Not nearly as much as when I first used it, though."
"Pretty sure after quantumly entangling your mind in order to bootstrap a fix to the time-space anomaly the Great Clock was built to contain, very little is going to seem a strain," Alister chided teasingly.
"Wait, she did what now?" Nefarious asked quickly, optics wide.
Twilight winced, rubbing her forehead. "I'd love to tell you about it, but it's painful to even think about what I did then," she explained. "I think the only one who really understands what I did and can explain it is Orvus."
"I thought he was dead!" Nefarious gasped out. "Umm...I would like to state for the record that I never actually intended to kill him or cause his death, just use him to get access to the Clock..."
"Quite alright," Twilight replied easily. "After all, thanks to me, he got better. And so did my grandparents on my other side."
"...is that what Ratchet was talking about in that interview about me when he mentioned the recently resurrected grandparents?" Nefarious clarified.
"Yup!" Twilight confirmed.
Nefarious frowned thoughtfully, piecing a few things together...and his eyes widened. "You made time your bitch?" he gasped out excitedly.
"Causality, actually, but yes!" Twilight proclaimed proudly.
"That...is so cool..." Nefarious marveled.
Alister rolled his eyes as he kept moving, hoping in that way to keep everyone more or less on track even as Twilight and Nefarious once more launched into a technical discussion.
Before long, the group made it past the last of the hostiles in that area, finding their way to a power conduit. "According to the map data," Alister observed, "this leads straight to the N.E.S.T. sorting terminal."
"Which is where Commander Spog will be," Qwark pointed out.
"Which means we're going to grind down it," Twilight grumbled. "I don't like grinding...it's hard keeping all four hooves on the cable now that I'm so big..."
"You could always ride on my shoulders again," Qwark offered.
"Or fly," Alister suggested.
"Or use your jetpack," Nefarious pointed out. "It shouldn't take too much modification to give it fast level flight instead of slow descent, especially since it's designed for someone much heavier than you already and adjusted for your light body mass."
Twilight grinned from ear to ear. "Just a second!" she called out as she pulled out her jetpack and tools.
It didn't take long for Twilight to modify her jetpack to work with her Omniboots to enable her to grind over a rail from a distance, maintaining altitude through a magnetic interaction between her boots and the 'rail', whether pipe or otherwise, that would keep her level while still allowing her to use the jetpack's kinetic rocket launcher. "Unfortunately," she explained as she finished, "the anti-gravity field my magic generates for flight naturally is necessary to properly balance the forces, so...I can't do the same for the rest of you."
"Quite alright!" Qwark proclaimed proudly. "I enjoy the feeling of the pipe beneath my boots as I grind to victory!"
"Then learn to dodge the hazards!" Nefarious snapped. "This wouldn't be an issue if you hadn't singed Twilight's feathers!"
"I said I was sorry!" Qwark whined.
"Could we start grinding before we keep arguing?" Alister pleaded. "At least then we'll be making progress!"
"Good idea," Twilight agreed as she took to the air, the others using the nearby launch pad to reach the pipeline.
As they raced down the pipe, they were able to spot a massive robot that could only be Commander Spog. He seemed to be a massive crimson shuttle for a central body, five massive fin like constructs directed up and to the sides, with two long, thin arms and a rocket booster on the bottom.
"Odd design," Twilight murmured. "I don't recognize it."
"Me neither," Nefarious added. "I saw nothing like that in the files of the Hall of Knowledge when I downloaded the entire database before Tachyon started selectively deleting the contents."
Twilight gasped, her eyes wide. "You have an uncorrupted, complete copy of the Hall of Knowledge database? Where?"
"One of my old bases," Nefarious explained as the group leapt to another pipe as the one they were on came to an end. "I'd be happy to show it to you...assuming the place is still intact."
Twilight grinned from ear to ear. "If I didn't have to keep a specific distance from the pipe to maintain flight, I would be bouncing with joy right now."
As they continued to grind down the pipe, a strange container of some sort was removed from its resting point on the pipe by Sprog as he flew around, ignoring them for the moment. Twilight held her fire until they could reach more stable ground for combat.
The pipe ended at a sequence of metal platforms, along with another weapons communication satellite waiting for them, although it had no new weapons available. With nothing to be gained there, the group continued along the path, seeking a way to corner Commander Spog for combat.
Their path took them through several waves of Warper Minion robots before looping around a single stone column, slowly climbing to the top via elevators and upward-sloping stone platforms. At one point, a new type of flying robot appeared with heavily reinforced arms. It obviously possessed some sort of special feature, but with the four of them firing together it didn't last long enough to demonstrate it.
After a time, the path led to another group launcher, flinging them across to another metal path...which promptly began to collapse beneath them due to shoddy construction.
"Run!" Twilight shouted out, quickly leaping into the air.
"Running running running running-" Qwark called out, racing ahead as fast as he could, Nefarious and Alister hot on his heels.
At the edge of the collapsing path was another group launcher...which deposited them at the end of another path that immediately started to collapse.
"Talk about shoddy construction!" Alister shouted as he raced ahead.
"Yeah!" Nefarious added. "Either make sure the path will hold up to being launched to, or don't put a launcher at the other end and leave it as a trap for the heroes!"
Thankfully, the next launcher landed them on more stable platforms much higher up. The whole group took a few moments to catch their breath before continuing along the linear path. They didn't encounter any further enemies until they neared the top of the spire, where they encountered a robotic turret with armored shields that spun rapidly, protecting it from weapons fire, and a glowing red dome reminiscent of various buttons they'd encountered, which could be activated by slamming it from above.
"It's rather obvious how to deal with this," Twilight murmured.
"Wait for it to slow down and the switch to pop up, then smash it?" Qwark asked.
"Yup!" Twilight confirmed as the group dodged around the fire that tried to track them. After a time, the turret started spraying bullets around itself that didn't reach far. When it stopped firing and the switch popped up, Alister launched Qwark up to slam the button from above.
Despite momentarily dazing the turret, no discernable damage was visible, and it soon began firing again. "Guess it takes more than one shot," Nefarious murmured.
After two more mortar toss slams, the turret collapsed, the shield wall it was guarding dropping as it collapsed. "Alright. Let's move out!" Alister insisted, taking point and moving down the path, pleased for the moment that they were starting to behave somewhat like a military unit.
Not far from there, the group once more found a Swing-hele-carrier to take them to a new area. "This'll probably take us pretty near Commander Spog," Twilight noted. "So we should probably stay quiet. Too much noise, and he'll know we're coming."
"Pretty sure the noise of the Swing-hele-carrier might alert him," Alister pointed out.
"He'll shrug it off as ordinary noise going on around here," Nefarious countered.
"So...no eye spy this time?" Qwark asked hopefully.
The swing-hele-carrier dropped them off near another weapons satellite, again without anything new for the group to buy. "Seems like we're ahead of the game where it comes to weapons," Twilight muttered under her breath as she glanced ahead. "Looks like a big door we need to open." As Qwark stepped up, Twilight spread a wing. "Not by kicking it down. We're trying to be discreet here."
"Aww..." Qwark pouted, much to Nefarious' amusement.
As the group approached the door, a large group of Warper Minions teleported in to attack them, but were easily destroyed by the team's melee weapons before they could do much more than beep. After that, it was a simple matter to open the door into the Security Tower, as the map data they had identified the facility they were about to enter.
"Alright," Alister spoke up. "We can fully expect this tower to be more heavily defended than the other areas we've been through."
"In other words, we can expect this place to be more fun?" Qwark translated.
"I hate when I'm on the same wavelength as you," Nefarious grumbled irritably. "It feels so insulting for some reason!"
"Does it make you feel any better knowing I think 'more heavily defended' equals 'more fun'?" Twilight asked impishly.
"Quite a bit, actually," Nefarious replied warmly. "Thanks."
"I'm trying to keep things to some degree of military precision," Alister declared angrily.
All three of his teammates looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "Why?" they all asked curiously.
"To keep us alive?" Alister countered logically.
"And why do we need military precision for that?" Nefarious queried. "We have the tech upgrades Twilight and I have crafted, some of which is indistinguishable from magic. We have Twilight's actual magic. We have Qwark's ability to somehow warp reality based on his stupidity. How, exactly, can any of those things be militarily precise? And why would they need to be?"
"Because..." Alister began, only to let his voice trail off. "I don't know," he admitted finally. "But all I've known my entire life is military precision and discipline, and that's for longer than I'd care to remember. I...don't really know how to handle this any other way." He rubbed the back of his neck as he rolled his head back. "Well, other than going completely crazy and rampaging, but I don't really want to do that."
"Then maybe you should stop trying to take the lead and let Twilight call the shots," Qwark suggested. "If anyone can teach you how to have fun with these things without military precision or rampaging, it's her."
"Now now, let's not be so hasty in dismissing the fun of a rampage," Nefarious cautioned.
"And who's to keep her from getting lost in her inventing again and forgetting the mission?" Alister asked pointedly.
"I can do that!" Qwark offered enthusiastically. "I'll just remind her about her date if she stays put for more than five minutes at a time. She's really excited about it, after all-"
"I'm gonna be late!" Twilight squealed out, rushing ahead.
"I still need to make reservations!" Nefarious wailed, charging after her waving his guns.
Alister stared after them as they blasted their way past another new Minion-type robot - this one with rocket launchers, an energy shield, and a spotlight - again before it could demonstrate its abilities. "...that is frighteningly effective," he muttered worriedly.
"Teenagers," Qwark joked.
"And Nefarious?" Alister asked.
"I was talking about emotional maturity, not chronological," Qwark countered, charging into the tower after the exuberant pair.
"And what about you, then?" Alister demanded.
"Why do you think I know what buttons to push?" Qwark called back.
The group continued the charge into the tower. Before long, they were confronted by a massive, heavily armored Minion-type robot. It stood across a chasm from them, firing heavily charged heat beams that it swept across the platform the group was standing on, forcing them to evade. It also fired heavy mortars from shoulder mounted cannons to drop on the group from above. Despite the level of firepower the group had at their disposal, the bot still took a massive amount of punishment before it went down.
"Wish I could get the specs for that thing," Twilight murmured as they crossed to the other side.
"My optics are designed for multi-vision data capture," Nefarious pointed out. "It shouldn't be too difficult to reverse engineer it from the data back at my lab...or yours, for that matter."
Twilight squeed happily as she grinned from ear to ear.
Qwark sighed softly. "Well...one thing's for sure," he muttered softly. "Whether or not things go anywhere romantically with the pair of them...they've got the makings of a wonderful friendship."
"Then why do you sound so sad?" Alister asked curiously. "From the sound of it, it'll be good for both of them."
"Oh, I agree," Qwark replied readily. "It's certainly good for both of them, and I'm hoping things go well there." As another transport platform arose to carry them deeper into the tower, he leaned close to Alister. "But I'm her BBBFF," he whispered, not wanting Twilight to overhear. "I don't want to lose that...especially not to Nefarious!"
Rolling his eyes, Alister boarded the platform with a chuckle alongside the others. One thing was certain. Even if it didn't always make sense, this mission was certainly never dull.
As the group rode the platform through the Tower, the computer suddenly spoke up. "Warning! Unauthorized life forms detected in Sector 3!"
"Well that sounds familiar," Twilight grumbled, before gasping in surprise.
At the end of the tunnel, Commander Spog arose, apparently to confront them directly. "Ah, interlopers. Most of you weren't on the Master's list." His eyes locked on Twilight. "But you were..."
Alister, Qwark, and Nefarious immediately stepped between him and Twilight. "Over my dead body!" all three called simultaneously, before glancing at each other in surprise.
"I can fight my own battles," Twilight mumbled, despite her pleased blush.
Commander Sprog chuckled. "That can be arranged, you three. Stuart! Divert platform delta through the steam chattel!"
"Yes, Commander," the computer replied as Spog laughed.
"The equine can handle what lies in there," Spog commented as he floated back and the platform changed paths, "but I doubt the rest of you can."
"I don't like that guy," Twilight grumbled as they passed into a new section of the tower, poisonous green smoke pouring out of various vents.
"Then let's track him down and crush him!" Nefarious proclaimed, carefully balancing the platform with the others so they were able to continue unimpeded.
As the group continued along the new path, Sprog kept ordering 'Stuart' to send in more reinforcements to take out Qwark, Nefarious, and Alister, only for the group to continuously repel the assaults. At one point, they rode down an elevator shaft, only for Sprog to cause the platform to drop out from under them, expecting Twilight to be the only one to be able to fly down slowly. Instead, all four pulled out their upgraded jetpacks to float down slowly until they reached solid platform.
"...you're beginning to grow tiresome and irritating," Spog grumbled.
"And you only just got to know us!" Alister shouted out in a taunt. "Wait until we've really gotten started!"
Spog could be heard sighing. "I'm getting too old for this. Stuart! Alert all forces. I will not allow the Interlopers to disrupt the rehabitation process."
"Sounds like something we need to stop, then!" Qwark offered with a wide grin.
With any chance of secrecy blown out of the water, the group charged full force, tearing through the defenses of the tower guns blazing as they sought to track down Spog and take him down. As they maintained such progress, they could hear Spog complaining about their progress, with how he was "three days from retirement" and the "blemish on his record". For the most part, they found it amusing. Before long, a different conversation could be heard.
"All forces defeated, Commander."
"Not all," Spog replied. "Send in...Mr. Perkins."
Qwark snickered audibly. "I'm sorry, but there's just no way that's anywhere near as intimidating or ominous as it's supposed to be-"
At that point, a massive Tank Minion bot with energy shielding slammed through a nearby glass wall, bracing for combat.
"...of course, I could be wrong," Qwark admitted.
"Look!" Nefarious pointed out. "Those two switches on the walls! If we activate them, it should activate the back up defensive barrier! Given 'Mr. Perkins' position, that should overload his energy shields!"
Mr. Perkins glanced up, spotted the switches in question, and stepped forward out of their range.
"Not really smart shouting out plans where the enemy can hear-" Alister began, only to realize the other three had rushed ahead around the sides of Mr. Perkins now that there was space to get through. "...or not." He quickly raced to keep up.
Seeing his targets getting away, Mr. Perkins dropped his energy shields to re-enter his flight mode...at which point he promptly received a full barrage of Elementally-charged Devastator rockets, destroying him completely.
"Nailed it!" Twilight crowed, pumping her hoof as a weapons satellite dropped out of the sky nearby. Running up to it, she checked the inventory. "Ooh! Darkstar Fission Tether! A chain lightning gun! This'll be fun to tweak later. For now..." Racing forward, she leapt onto a rail platform. "Onward, ho!"
As the others joined her on the platform, it began to carry them along.
"Who sent you?" Spog roared at them from somewhere. "Was it that little Tharpod girl who's been sticking chewing gum in all my machines?"
"I've detected a spike in your neural processing core, Commander," 'Stuart' spoke up. "Recommend you count down from five to enhance your sense of calm."
Spog sighed ruefully. "Five...four...three...you know what? I don't have time for this! I'm in the middle of combat here!"
"Sure could have fooled me!" Qwark called out. "Seems more like you're in the middle of paperwork!"
Spog roared in frustration. "Stuart! Where are my minions?"
"What's the matter?" Qwark called out. "Afraid to fight us yourself?"
"...you know what, Stuart? Nevermind. I'll deal with them myself! Come and get me, if you dare!"
"Well, now you've done it!" Nefarious snapped. "Now we won't have swarms of minions to wade through to collect bolts to arm ourselves for the final confrontation with this guy!"
"Twilight might as well have unlimited funds," Qwark pointed out. "All I did was ensure we're in no danger of running out of ammo, and give you and Twilight free reign to tweak the new lightning gun thingies while we walk."
Nefarious stared at Qwark in shock. Eventually, he found his voice. "Could you go back to being stupid?" he requested pleadingly. "You're making it hard to hate you, and I hate that!"
"I'll try, best buddy!" Qwark proclaimed eagerly.
"Much easier now, thanks," Nefarious confirmed, turning to work with Twilight as they walked.
With no additional Minions attacking on Spog's orders, the group was able to easily coast through the Tower segments ahead of them while Twilight and Nefarious worked on the Darkstar Fission Tether together to see what they could make of it. Meanwhile, Qwark and Alister focused on manipulating the various gadgets in the path to open the gates to the way forward. After a time, Qwark decided to make some conversation. "So...how goes that experimentation?" he asked Twilight.
"Not so good," Twilight admitted ruefully. "We're trying to come up with something new to do with this weapon...but everything we've come up with so far are things that can be done more efficiently with some of the older Gadgetron weapons. We don't want to repeat anything."
"Unfortunately, coming up with new ways to use lightning weapons is rather difficult," Nefarious grumbled irritably. "There's only so many ways to tame lightning. There's already been charged spheres, draining weapons, rolling electrical spheres, lightning whips, lightning wall generators, even lightning rockets. What else are we supposed to do with it?"
"It's really frustrating," Twilight confirmed, putting the weapon away. "We can't have used up all the ways to use lightning! I mean, it's frikkin' lightning!"
"Remote control Lightning Elemental drones?" Alister joked.
"I thought about that, but it doesn't work with FtF tech," Twilight countered. "No real way for the energies to combine."
"What if you made it so they could merge to become a giant lightning drone with multiple turrets?" Qwark offered.
Nefarious glowered at Qwark. "Stop having all the good ideas!" he snarled angrily.
"We'd need to stop to make those tweaks, though," Twilight admitted. "That's changing the entire nature of the weapon after all. We'll leave that till later. For now, let's keep moving. If we stop for too long, Spog will get impatient and send more minions after us."
"Good thing you're done now," Alister called out. "We're about to hit a different kind of path." He pointed forward to where a spinning swingshot target awaited.
"Right," Twilight confirmed, putting away her weapon and pulling out her swingshot.
The four latched on before letting themselves be launched through a large glass window to land grinding on another massive pipeline. As Alister, Nefarious, and Qwark rode the pipe and Twilight glided nearby, Spog floated into view. "There you are!" he proclaimed angrily. "I'll show you how I deal with interlopers around here!"
"File a report?" Qwark shouted out tauntingly.
With a scream of rage, Spog smashed the pipe ahead of them, forcing them to jump to the conveniently placed pipe nearby.
"Qwark, once the battle starts, don't taunt the enemy unless you have stable ground!" Twilight hissed angrily.
"Oops!" Qwark admitted. "Sorry!"
Spog flew ahead, dropping mines along the new pipe that the group had leapt to, forcing them to evade. As they continued, eventually Spog got angrier. "You've wasted enough of my time!" he proclaimed angrily as he sent buzzsaws down the pipe towards the group...which were still easily evaded.
"You ever get the feeling he's not really trying?" Nefarious muttered dryly. "I mean, there's not even a challenge here! I thought he was supposed to be a boss?"
"Commander, the interlopers are still alive," 'Stuart' informed Spog.
"I know they're still alive," Spog growled. "I'm rectifying the situation right now!"
"Are you sure?" 'Stuart' asked curiously. "Because that's what you said a few minutes ago. Were you being humorous?"
"Can we talk about this later?" Spog begged.
"Stuart has a point," Twilight pointed out. "If you really wanted to destroy us, you could have just smashed the pipe we were on and dropped us into the pit below. Even with jetpacks, that kind of fall would have been debilitating, if not lethal."
Spog actually managed to look somewhat awkward. "Err, well..."
"Commander Spog has already exceeded his allowed collateral damage allotment," 'Stuart' intoned. "Any further collateral damage he inflicts on the Master's construction will be deducted from his pay and marked on his record."
"So...basically you're being forced to choose between being marked down for excessive damage, or for failing to stop us?" Qwark called out as the group reached the end of the pipeline.
"Yes!" Spog cried out despairingly. "And I had a flawless record before now! I could have retired happily a few days from now with a clean slate if it weren't for you lot, and taken pride in knowing I had done the best job possible! But now, thanks to you meddling brats, my record will be forever marred!"
"Gosh...I'm really sorry about that," Qwark offered sympathetically. "I know how hard it is to live down a mistake, especially when it comes to a record of good works." He ignored Nefarious making gagging motions, much to Twilight's amusement.
"And I know how hard it is to live down the one mistake that destroys a stellar lifetime of service," Alister added, looking somewhat sorrowful as he gazed into his own memories.
Spog sniffed to himself. "You do? That...that makes me feel a bit better, thanks." He was silent for a time. "Does that mean you'll let me obliterate the three of you and capture the equine for the Master's experiments?"
"We're not that sympathetic!" Qwark snapped out.
"Hypocrite!" Spog snapped out, shifting into position as he started dropping in more assault robots.
"So much for peaceful negotiations," Nefarious joked as he hauled out his weapons.
Now that they were on more stable ground, the group was more than capable of taking out the Minion robots Spog called in to attack them now that his temper had frayed too much to care. As they made their way forward, however, Spog continued to shout at them. "Meddlesome interlopers! You cannot prevent the Master's escape! His great crusade will recommence!"
"Escape, huh?" Twilight asked curiously. "So all we have to do to stop whoever this 'Master' is is find his cage and strengthen it, since he hasn't escaped yet?"
"Or!" Nefarious spoke up eagerly. "We could let him out, obliterate him, and cannibalize the cage for science projects!"
"That works too!" Twilight confirmed.
"You...don't seem to be taking this threat seriously," Spog pointed out. "The Cragmites couldn't destroy him, and neither can you!"
"This is someone the Cragmites fought?" Alister gasped out. "...are we sure we should be fighting these guys? Maybe in some obscure way, this is someone good who just has some evil help?"
"Sounds more like a worse evil situation to me," Qwark offered. "You know, something so horrible even the Cragmites knew they were bad news? I mean, Percival was a pretty reasonable guy aside from his bouts of fanatical insanity."
Twilight shook her head in disbelief as she finished activating an elevator platform, letting them ride upwards again. "Only you could say that without sarcasm, Qwark..."
Before the elevator reached its destination, Spog appeared, grabbing hold of the open air platform. "Special delivery!" he proclaimed before laughing. Flying drones dropped creatures in capsules onto the platform. "Let me introduce you to a few of Magnus's newest residents."
As the capsules burst open, three Weevoids burst out, unfolding from their stone camouflage to attack even as Spog flew away, letting the platform continue to rise. Twilight promptly seized the Weevoids in her magical grip and tossing them off the platform. "Seriously?" she demanded in irritation. "You send creatures after people on a rising platform with no way of preventing them from being thrown off and you don't expect that to be the first tactic used? That's some seriously bad planning."
"I know!" Nefarious insisted. "You did that to me frequently, which is why I've equipped all my robot minions with mag-boots they can activate to prevent you from hurling them off a moving platform! Works especially well if I make the elevator platform spin without warning."
"Could the two of you discuss villainous etiquette and tactics later?" Alister demanded. "We have flying robots inbound-"
Well aimed shots from Qwark's blaster took out the Blocker Minions' rocket boosters before they could reach the platform, making them drop helplessly into the seeming void below. "Had," he proclaimed proudly.
"And the Gravoid Minion?" Alister added, pointing to the last enemy approaching.
"That's what the Warmongers are for," Twilight explained as she, Nefarious, and Qwark pulled theirs out. Rolling his eyes, Alister did the same.
"How are you still alive?" Spog demanded as the Gravoid Minion exploded and the elevator platform reached its destination.
"Cause we're awesome?" Twilight countered as the group stepped onto another platform, lifting them to the roof of the tower.
"I will not permit a bunch of meddlesome interlopers to wreck any more havoc on my factory!" Spog proclaimed angrily as he rose to do battle himself.
"Is this ground stable enough?" Qwark whispered to Twilight, who nodded in response. Raising his voice, Qwark called out, "Is this where you say you would have gotten away with it if not for us meddlesome interlopers and our pony?"
Spog screamed in frustration as Alister and Nefarious burst into laughter. "As the highest ranking war bot on site, I hereby declare you enemies of the Master!"
"Pretty sure we'd been making a fair point of that on our own!" Nefarious jibed.
"Prepare to do battle!" Spog proclaimed as he primed his missile launchers.
"Preparing, preparing, always preparing!" Alister japed, deciding to join in on the heckling. "Just fight already!"
With a roar of rage, Spog unleashed a barrage of rockets at the group...only for Twilight to shoot the rockets with a modified Blackstar Fission Tether, causing the rockets to turn around and slam into Spog. "How?"
"Success!" Twilight cried out. "I modified the Tether so it screws with physical projectiles friend/foe recognition, making any rockets or missiles automatically target the ones who fired them! Perfect for anything but energy projectiles!"
"Then deal with this!" Spog roared, lunging in and slamming red hot plates the size of shuttles down on the platform, trying to crush the group beneath them, only for them all to leap to the sides.
Before he could pull back, all four pulled out their Smashhammers and slammed them into his face, disorienting him and forcing him to pull back. He attempted to hit them with lasers, but was unable to target well.
"I am detecting failure in three out of ten primary systems," 'Stuart' informed Spog. "Recommend retreat immediately."
"Retreat?" Spog demanded angrily. "Never! I have them right where I want them!"
Spog attempted to barrage the group with untargeted heavy explosives, only for them to throw the bombs back with their Vac-U's, followed by launching Qwark and Nefarious to inflict heavy physical damage before riding their upgraded jetpacks back to the platform.
"I now detect failure in seven out of ten systems," 'Stuart' spoke up.
"I only need one primary system to perform my duties, Stuart!" Spog proclaimed angrily as parts of his armor started to fall away. "I will not lose a battle this close to retirement!"
Despite Spog's best efforts, his tech didn't allow him to utilize any new attack methods, and having learned to recognize and counter each one as it began, none of them could hit the group at this point. Even reusing the buzzsaws he'd used on the pipeline did no good as they moved too slowly to catch the group unawares.
"Commander, you do not look well," 'Stuart' cautioned after a time.
"Don't worry about it, Stuart," Spog murmured. "There's plenty of fight left in this old war bot!"
At that point, several heavy hits from Warmonger rockets sent Spog spiraling into the top of the tower the group stood on. Spog tried to take off again, but could barely move, and his voice came out distorted and illegible as he tried to speak.
"Sounds like your voice modulator's damaged," Twilight observed. "Nefarious and I can fix that...if you promise to tell us how to defeat Ephemeris."
After a time, Spog nodded.
Grinning from ear to ear, Twilight and Nefarious approached. "This won't hurt a bit..." they purred eagerly.
"I can't watch," Qwark whimpered, covering his eyes.
After a brief but exhilarating bout of technical wizardry, Spog was back to full functionality. "So...about that information?" Alister inquired as Twilight wiped the grease from her hooves.
"Only the Architect knows how to stop Ephemeris," Spog explained. "He lives beyond the lighthouse, in the forest of the blue rocks." With that said, he flew off.
"Finally!" Qwark gasped out. "A new objective! It feels like we've been going after that guy for weeks!"
"It's...been less than a day," Twilight pointed out, glancing at Qwark in some concern.
An elevator at the side of the tower brought the group down to another sealed door. When opened via wall switches, another message screen appeared, displaying what could be assumed to be another fragment of personal log. The video started with an image of someone playing with a Critter, as the voiceover began. "Holo-diary, 001. Creatures. For years, they've been something of a rite of passage on Magnos. Their very presence seems to enrich, inspire, and motivate us all. It is a bond no one has ever sought to understand...until now." The image changed, now showing those that had been playing with the Critters to be studying them in a lab setting, though the Critters were still held comfortingly while in the lab. "Using a complex array of technological thingamados-" Twilight and Nefarious brought their respective forelimbs to their faces at that total disregard for proper scientific terminology. "-my colleague Nevo Binklemeyer and I have been investigating the effect of creatures on their owners."
"Wait..." Alister interrupted, pleased to see the video paused in response to someone speaking. "This whole thing started as a study of some sort of...psychic link between pets and owners?"
"Sure seems that way," Qwark muttered as he shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Fascinating."
"Where did you get that popcorn?" Nefarious demanded irritably.
"Snack button," Qwark explained logically, pointing to Nefarious' back.
"I don't have a 'Snack Button'!" Nefarious shouted angrily.
"Then...where did I get this crunchy, salty deliciousness?" Qwark asked worriedly, staring at his popcorn.
"Shush!" Twilight insisted. "I'm trying to learn something here!"
"Take my own companion Mr. Dinkles," the voiceover continued as the image shifted to one specific scientist, with what looked like a white-garbed cat on his shoulder. "His mere presence seems to amplify my talents as a paradoxologist."
"A what?" all four listeners asked simultaneously. With no answer forthcoming, the video continued, showing the 'cat' now standing behind an analysis device of some sort.
"But observe him through the lens of a vectomorphic triciliscope..." As the voice over chuckled, the 'scope' revealed a strange concentration of energy inside the animal. "What strange manifestation is this? Have we discovered some new form of cosmic radiation? We must learn more about this energy!"
The image changed to two scientists with a hologram of an apparatus of some sort between them. "Nevo believes he can modify the protomorphic energy extractor in order to separate the energy from its host. Tomorrow will be a great day for science."
As the image faded and the message ended, Twilight spoke up. "So, who here thinks the energy is the real bad guy and was manipulating the scientists?"
"Me," Nefarious spoke up quickly.
"Me," Alister agreed.
"I," Qwark added.
"As long as we're all in agreement there," Twilight agreed as the group stepped onto another elevator platform.
The elevator platform took the group down a long path to the water far below, where more metal pathways were laid out. As they rode down, they were able to determine where they were headed. The 'Forest of Blue Rocks' Spog had mentioned seemed to refer to Terrawat Forest, where a research lab run by a Dr. Frumpus Croy was located. Since they'd come across that name before in the journey, they considered it to be their best lead.
The moving platform dropped them off right in front of another Weapons Vendor Sattelite, with a new Frost Cannon for sale. "Hmm..." Twilight murmured as she examined it after buying one for each of them. "A weapon specifically designed to freeze the enemies...reminds me of the Liquid Nitrogen Gun we used back in Solana, or the Freeze Mods from..." Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head. "Never mind. Anyway, I think I can do something with this...later."
"You...don't want to work on it?" Nefarious asked, confused.
"It's...brought up some bad memories," Twilight countered. "Please drop it."
"Fair enough," Nefarious quickly agreed. He held back as Twilight took the lead with Alister, grabbing Qwark by the arm to hold him back briefly. "What bad memories did 'Freeze Mods' bring up, and who do I need to kill?"
Qwark frowned, scratching his chin. "Bad memories? ...that'd either be the Dreadzone or the Technomites...either way, it's already taken care of."
Nefarious frowned. "She's...been through some bad episodes, I take it?" Qwark nodded dumbly. "I see...well, I'll just have to figure out a way to make it better."
"Or you could leave it in the past," Qwark pointed out firmly. "Twilight's more or less moved past all that. There's no need to bring it up again. She'll talk about it if she wants to."
"...but..." Nefarious glanced to the path ahead, his eyes on Twilight.
Qwark stared at him for a time, then sighed. "Look, the one thing that's always bugged Twilight more than anything is being the only one of her kind anywhere in the known galaxies. Even Ratchet knew where he came from, she doesn't even know that. If you can do something about that, it would go a long way to helping her feel better about everything."
Nefarious rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm...actually, I think I can do something about that." He began taking some mental notes, his brain case sparking with calculations. "The key will be having it all ready in time for Friday..."
Qwark groaned as he face palmed. "Great, you both do that..." he grumbled under his breath. "And Dad said Sis was bad about her inspiration moments..."
As Twilight and Alister led the way, a new creature appeared in their way, a purple and blue gator/fish creature their scanners identified as a Flabberfish. It proved to be inconsequential, however, as a single shot from any weapon sent it head over tail. It was just yet more fodder for them to get past as they moved along the wooden platforms and leapt form one to the next across the backs of giant turtles.
At the edge of the wooden platform, they came across a sonic pylon designed to attract one of the giant turtles that were swimming around. Upon ringing the pylon, one arose, allowing the four to hop onto its back to lock onto nearby swingshot targets. Further along, a possibly more serious threat arrived, giant electric slugs known as Slorgs. They were still some distance away, and seemed to be sleeping.
"So...how should we approach this?" Alister muttered to Twilight.
"Guns blazing," Twilight stated firmly. "I need some catharsis after the freeze gun..."
"Maybe I can offer some?" Nefarious suggested as he caught up, reconfiguring his right hand as he approached. "I managed to get ahold of some of your blueprints of recent weapons...and I have a question for you."
"Oh?" Twilight asked curiously. "Something you don't understand in the blueprints?"
"Not exactly," Nefarious countered, shaping his right hand into a baton of some sort. "I was wondering if you knew how many squishies it took to change a lightbulb."
Twilight's eyes widened. "Wait a minute...you mean-"
"Fireball!" Nefarious shouted out, launching a ball of flame from the baton, blowing up the Slorgs from a distance. "Both problems fixed!"
Twilight couldn't help but burst into giggles, causing a wide grin to cross Nefarious' face. "How'd you manage to adapt your robotic body to access etheric energy?" she demanded curiously.
Nefarious chuckled. "I managed to find a good amount of the crystals you used to convert Mr. Zurkon into Zurkon the Bearded," he explained. "They're very effective energy channelers, so I put quite a few into my own systems. It wasn't that much of an adaption to tap the etheric fields. Still working on making it do so efficiently..."
Twilight immediately started talking about her own endeavors regarding building magic using robotics, smiling happily as she geeked out with Nefarious. Alister shook his head ruefully as he watched them interact. "And now he's proving to be good boyfriend material too," he muttered. "Knowing just what to say to cheer her up when she's down."
"Now let's not be hasty," Qwark cautioned. "They still haven't dated yet."
As the group approached a settlement, they found it completely abandoned...leading all four of them to slowing their approach, taking care to see what could have caused the abandonment of the town, and cautious of any threat that might come after them next.
"It's quiet..." Qwark murmured under his breath. "Too quiet..."
"You're still talking, so I'd say not quiet enough," Nefarious sniped waspishly.
"Shush!" Twilight and Alister insisted in stereo.
Ringing another sonic pylon lifted them up to see an Armored Slorg awaiting them, plainly guarding the path. As it approached them, however, the whole group pulled out their Warmonger Rocket Launchers, and a single volley from all of them blasted its armor off, letting Twilight fling it into the water. "Can't have been just that," Twilight murmured thoughtfully.
Finding no other clues in the settlement, the group headed for the docks where a fishing vessel could be distantly seen moored. As they approached the docks, however, a massive waterspout could be seen in the distance, looking like an upside down whirlpool. "What the heck is that?" Alister demanded, staring in shock.
Looking near the top, Nefarious was able to spot a device of some sort manipulating the waterspout and clouds. "Looks like some sort of weather manipulator," he muttered.
"Probably what drove off the locals," Twilight added.
"So...that means we blow it up?" Qwark suggested.
"That means we get closer and examine it to make sure damaging it won't cause something worse to happen," Alister corrected.
"Then we blow it up," Twilight concluded.
"Let's see about finding a way there first," Alister chided gently.
The group continued carefully along the wooden platforms, clearing the path as they went, only for a crimson tentacle to snake out of the water and smash through the bridge in front of them.
"Whoa!" Qwark gasped out, leaping back. "The heck was-" He paused when he found Twilight clinging to his head. "Twilight?"
"I've seen enough borderline Hentai with Talwyn to know where this is going!" she shrieked out. "Keep that slimey thing away from me!"
As the group stared, the tentacle quickly withdrew. "It's safe now-" Alister began, only for another tentacle to smash through the platforms further up.
"How about you stay up there with Qwark?" Nefarious suggested. "I'm sure Qwark knows that sort of thing could never happen to him!"
"Not so long as I'm protecting Twilight!" Qwark proclaimed proudly.
"But BBBFF, we watched that old web series together," she pointed out plainly. "You remembered what happened in that dream sequence-"
"And I'm plainly the green guy!" Qwark proclaimed, pointing to his suit. "Note the absence of forehead dots."
"Does that mean you don't have a penis?" Nefarious cackled tauntingly.
"That would explain how Skrunch's sister was able to handle him," Twilight offered playfully.
"Hey!" Qwark snapped angrily as Twilight and Nefarious burst into laughter. "Stop teaming up on me, you two!"
"Technically, you started that one," Alister pointed out with a soft chuckle.
The group continued to fight their way forward with Twilight safe on Qwark's head. The Slorgs, it was discovered, were immune to any non-magical damage, and hits from conventional weaponry caused them to slide around on the platforms until they slid off into the water, where they dissolved when their electrical charge was lost. Twilight made a mental note of this, convinced it would be useful information later.
Qwark quickly noticed that the parts of the platforms the tentacles attacked were slightly paler than the wood around them, and allowed Alister and Nefarious to move ahead to trigger the tentacles' actions so Twilight wouldn't be upset by the proximity of such narrow tentacles.
Twilight's theory about the Slorgs was soon proven true, as they came across a device built into a depression in the platform that only activated once they'd knocked enough Slorgs into it, which promptly released a discharge that wiped out the remaining Slorgs as well as activating nearby devices.
"Seems like nearly everything we've come across this adventure is built around electrically charged creatures of some sort," Qwark commented idly. "I wonder why that is?"
"Only way we'll get answers is by moving forward," Alister pointed out, urging the group onward.
After activating a few more Slorg powered devices, the group were able to make their way across a few conveyor belts, pausing as they saw a tentacle reach out of the water to seize a giant fish hanging from a gantry, tearing all the meat off of it and leaving only the skeleton behind. "O...kay," Twilight whimpered softly. "I am no longer afraid of the tentacles doing naughty things to me. Instead I'm afraid of having all the flesh stripped from my bones to be devoured. ...I'm not certain it's an improvement..."
"Don't worry!" Qwark proclaimed proudly in an attempt at reassurance. "I won't let the tentacle monster devour you whole!"
"And even if it does, your armor interacting with your magic probably qualifies as enough cybernetic augmentation for Darkwater's curse to kick in for you, and then I can upgrade you enough to not notice the difference," Nefarious offered. "Your magical powers should really help with that."
Twilight whimpered audibly. "But I don't want to be an undead robot pirate ghost! I like being squishy!"
"I could probably manage cyborg," Nefarious suggested.
"Not. Helping," Alister chided as Twilight huddled closer to Qwark's back.
"Sorry," Nefarious apologized. "I'm not so good at the consolation thing. I'm just trying to help!"
"It's okay, Doctor," Twilight offered softly. "Just...maybe try a different approach as far as helping?"
Nefarious scratched at his chin for a time. "You mean like suggesting that Orvus is likely watching us and probably wouldn't be above turning time back six minutes or so at a time if you wound up getting killed, knowing the enhancements I gave my sensors - as well as the quantum actuator I managed to install - would let me redirect events so it doesn't happen since I'd remember the erased six minutes the same way Clank does?"
Alister and Qwark stared at Nefarious in shock. A smile slowly spread across Twilight's face. "Yes," she agreed. "That is much more comforting."
"Huh," Nefarious muttered thoughtfully. "So offers of transformation into a cybernetic indestructible immortal completely indistinguishable from a normal living being is disturbing, but the possibility of rampant quantum manipulation that runs the risk of tearing apart the fabric of the multiverse isn't. I don't understand why, but I'll keep it in mind."
"...my brain hurts," Qwark mumbled petulantly.
"What else is new?" Nefarious snapped irritably.
"I understood that..." Qwark whimpered. "That's why my brain hurts..."
"Think about it later," Alister called out as a new type of flying Minion bot approached. "We've got incoming!"
The new Minion bot was a black and orange sphere with a face and two propeller pods attached to the sides, with a bomb launcher in its mouth. It cackled as it approached, and promptly exploded from the barrage of fire the group hit it with.(1) More followed, but each went down just as easily as the first did.
"That went quick," Twilight joked happily. "Let's go!" Feeling more secure, she hopped off Qwark's back, rushing forward to open yet another path forward with Qwark's help, activating a matched pair of gadgets. Once the door was open, however, she paused before making her way through, glancing nervously back over her shoulder. "...Nefarious? If Orvus does end up having to turn back time to save me, and I'm not aware of it..."
"I won't say a word," Nefarious promised, smiling reassuringly. "I'll even try to make sure that you aren't even aware of me guiding you away from what kills you in the time that gets turned back." To give her extra reassurance, he began the motions. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye...or should I say optic?"
Twilight smiled widely. "Thanks, Doc," she said happily, racing ahead.
Nefarious' smile faded as he stared after her, taking the lead as the group moved ahead. "Not a word," he promised softly once he was sure none of them could hear, steeling himself against what might very well happen, preparing a sectioned off portion of his hard drive for the knowledge he'd eventually have to keep, even from himself if it came to pass. "No matter how many times..."
With his preparations made, he raced to keep up, accepting the duty that was now his, and the burden that went with it.
(1) A note I thought I'd make about this particular game...things actually go this quickly in the regular game if you have a full party of four via the online play. At that point, the biggest challenge this game offers is connection issues and lag.
The group made their way together along the wooden pathway to closer to the water. Before long, they started to approach the very end of the wooden pathway, just above the water and seeming uncomfortably close to the massive waterspout. A brief sojourn over the water led them to another set of wooden platforms, during which they received a report from Ratchet, Clank, Cronk, and Zephyr. The weather device controlling the the waterspout was apparently called a Weather Alterations Systems Platform, or WASP for short. It was designed to release a burst of electrons into the clouds to create lightning storms, and was patented by Nevo Binklemeyer.
"Isn't that the partner of Dr. Frumpus Croid?" Qwark asked. "The one who was working with him to study the energy in the creatures?"
"And didn't that first video log talk about Nevo Collectus?" Alister added. "Coincidence?"
"Obviously not," Nefarious countered. "Obviously, the energy inside the creatures that they extracted for study is manipulating Nevo Binklemeyer to do all this, probably to arrange such things so that it can unleash either an imprisoned race or its full power. Further logs will probably have confirmation of that, and maybe a few more details."
"Seems like a sound theory," Twilight allowed. "We'll probably need more details to know exactly what we're up against...especially if it's something the Cragmites felt had to be imprisoned. Maybe we might even come to understand a logic behind the Cragmites actions."
"They were trying to exterminate all sentient life in the galaxy," Alister growled out. "How, exactly, can that be logical?"
"What if the energy entities required a neuro-chemistry of a certain level of complexity in order to accomplish their goals, and whatever their goal is was so unspeakable the Cragmites felt mass extermination of anything that could be a viable host was preferable?" Twilight countered calmly.
"And what kind of goal could be that bad?" Alister demanded irritably.
"Would you like an itemized list?" Nefarious offered. "I can think of seven goals a race of energy-based entities capable of manipulating entities of matter might have that would be worse from the perspective of matter-based entities than mass genocide. Once I actually start listing, I can get at least a dozen more."
"...you are being sarcastic, aren't you?" Alister asked hopefully.
"Not in the slightest," Nefarious replied. "I'm already up to 25. Would you like them arranged in order of length, effort required, or predicted levels of atrociousness?"
"I'd rather you not tell me anything that would make me empathize with the Cragmites," Alister grumbled. "The last thing I need is that on top of the guilt I'm already carrying around."
"Fair enough," Nefarious allowed. "But if it turns out that is the case, I will be telling you where on the list it is, ordered by predicted levels of atrociousness."
"If you must," Alister groaned with a roll of his eyes.
Before long, the group found another local standing by a yellow boat, seeming impressed at seeing how easily the group made their way through. "Well hello there!" he greeted warmly. "I didn't think anyone was left in town. What can I do for you?"
"We're attempting to reach Terawatt Forest to find Dr. Frumpus Croid, so we can learn how to stop Ephemerus," Twilight explained. "Can you help? A nearby railway station, perhaps?"
"Well, there's a station over by the lighthouse," the local offered. "I'd take you there myself, but the water's too dangerous for boating. Ephemerus hauled in that WASP last month to create a natural habitat for the Sepiads. The storm ran everyone out of town."
"We could do something about that WASP," Alister mentioned idly. "How do we get up there?"
"Well, the collectors use that cannon over there to launch food to the Sepiads," the local explained, gesturing down another path. "I...suppose you could use it to reach the platform."
"What's a Sepiad?" Qwark asked Nefarious.
"Those tentacles we've been seeing," Nefarious explained. "Sea dwelling predators indigenous to Reepoor."
"The Cragmite homeworld?" Twilight gasped out in surprise.
"Exactly," Nefarious confirmed as the group made their way to the cannon. "They usually travel in packs and bring food back to their king."
"We probably don't want to tangle with the king, do we?" Qwark asked nervously.
"But we'll probably have to, won't we?" Alister grumbled, checking his weapons.
"Yeah, that sounds about right," Twilight offered nervously, climbing back up to Qwark's back.
At that moment, a massive crustacean with a tooth-filled maw, stalk eyes, and two large tentacles dragged itself partway onto the platform. The group immediately opened fire, trying to unleash enough damage to either destroy it or at least make it back off. However, no matter how much damage they inflicted on its front, it just took it, not seeming to even flinch.
After a time, however, a sonic buoy activated beside a nearby crank station. When rung, it lowered food of some sort above the Sepiad. It raised up, trying to get at the food, exposing its less protected underbelly. Damage inflicted there resulted in a much stronger reaction, and before long it fell over before slumping back into the water, either unconscious or dead.
As the group prepared to make their way across to the cannon, another video log rose up out of the water. The screen displayed various images of a wrecked lab and a traumatized scientist. "Holo-diary, 002," the voice that had narrated each of the entries began, sounding desperate and panicked. "A heinous crime has been committed. This morning, I awoke to find my laboratory in shambles. The vectomorphic triciliscope was smashed, the crack resistant flume canisters were cracked, and worst of all...an egregious theft had been committed. The plans for the protomorphic energy extractor...gone! All that was left behind was a recipe for Drophyd stew! Mr. Dinkles, my friend, my muse! Someone had taken him. But it couldn't be...no! Nevo, what have you done?" With that, the log ended.
"Who else thinks Mr. Dinkles - or the energy inside him - is manipulating Nevo?" Qwark asked.
"Me," Alister confirmed.
"Me!" Twilight added.
"I hate agreeing with you, Qwark!" Nefarious snapped. "...but me too."
"As long as we know what we're doing!" Qwark proclaimed happily.
Having heard all that the holo-diary had to offer them, the group climbed into the transport cannon to be launched to the WASP. As they rose up, at first it seemed like everything was going well, until they noticed they were getting a much closer view of the waterspout than anticipated. As the waterspout approached ever closer, the group started to scream, and Twilight desperately wrapped herself in a protective bubble to keep her wings from becoming waterlogged. As they entered the water, they found themselves instead in a tower of air, being blasted upward surrounded by water until they reached the outer reaches of the WASP.
"That was...different," Twilight muttered as she dispelled her shield.
"Again!" Qwark called out eagerly.
"No!" Nefarious and Alister snapped together.
"Let's just shut down the platform already," Twilight grumbled irritably.
"From the specs I've got, we need to destroy three charging stations to do that," Nefarious spoke up. "Should be easy enough to find."
"We blast anything we aren't standing on," Nefarious translated. "If it breaks, it was either the charging stations, or an obstacle to said stations."
"Sounds like a workable strategy," Qwark agreed readily.
"I like it!" Twilight crowed happily, priming her weapons.
"...I will never understand heroism," Alister grumbled to himself.
Despite Alister's frustrations, the strategy proved quite effective, as they were able to fight their way through the waves of Minion Robots of various types rather easily, moving anything that couldn't be destroyed out of their way and destroying anything breakable. The only concern proved to be giant fans that attempted to blow them off the platforms, which Twilight dealt with by bending a single blade of each fan out of alignment when they were off, causing the fans to tear themselves apart and fall to the ocean below when they reactivated.
The charging stations turned out to be rather large and easy to destroy. The massive wind power turbines could be broken by shattering the points holding them in place with a thrown melee weapon after exposing them with the Glob Lobbers, causing the stations to drop to the ocean below in pieces.
With the second station destroyed, a new minion robot type arrived, this one large and yellow and equipped with a pair of large, gun barrel shaped missile launchers. As the group unleashed their arsenal upon it, it countered with a barrage of bullet shaped missiles that were surprisingly easy to evade. As a result, it didn't take long for the bot to be destroyed.
The path from the second charging station to the third proved to be a challenging sequence of fan tunnels that had to be carefully maneuvered with well timed launches to throw switches to destroy the fans blocking the path. With the four of them working together, it proved quite effective, even though Twilight was forced to hang back or risk losing her feathers should the fans reactivate before they could destroy it.
With the path cleared, they reached the third charging station and destroyed it. "So...now what?" Qwark asked as the entire WASP began to shake as the fans keeping it in flight began to fail.
"There should be some sort of escape craft in the primary station!" Twilight called out, pointing to the center of the WASP. "There always is!"
"Let's hope it's big enough for all four of us," Alister grumbled worriedly as he raced ahead with the group.
"I can cling to the outside if necessary," Qwark offered helpfully.
"Good idea!" Nefarious offered quietly. "You can fight off anything that tries to grab the pod." Much louder, he added, "And I won't have to put up with your inane blather on the way down!"
Twilight turned her head to glare at him.
"What?" Nefarious asked innocently.
"I think you said the quiet part loud and the loud part quietly," Alister pointed out.
"No I didn't," Nefarious countered. "I definitely wanted to shout that second part."
Twilight promptly face-hoofed.
The craft, as it turned out, was a giant raft that they could all ride on top of, which dropped slowly towards the ocean below as the station fell apart. "Looks like it was big enough for us after all," Alister offered in a more relaxed tone.
"You still don't get to talk!" Nefarious snapped at Qwark.
"But I like talking!" Qwark whined pathetically.
"We've noticed!" Nefarious growled as Twilight giggled.
"You two are funny!" Twilight joked happily.
Before long, the raft exited the tube, causing it to fall much faster and more erratically, forcing everyone to struggle to aim themselves so they could safely land on the raft when it finally reached the ocean. Once it did, they found themselves in a sectioned off area of the waters, a winding path lined with buoys laid out for them. Four Power Plungers at - for lack of a better term - the 'corners' of the circular raft opened up. When activated with a Vac-U, the Plungers activated fans that would push the raft in each of the four directions, allowing them to steer the raft along the laid out path.
"Well, this will hopefully be a more relaxing aspect of the trip," Qwark noted. "If nothing else, we won't have to do as much walking. Or running. Or crazy stunts." He rubbed his chin. "Huh. A more boring part too, then."
"We can always liven it up ourselves," Twilight offered.
"And how do you intend to do that?" Nefarious asked curiously.
Grinning widely, Twilight tossed an eyepatch at everyone. "Put these on!"
Curious, they all did as instructed. "And?" Alister inquired.
Grinning, Twilight donned the pirate outfit she got from Captain Slag with a quick spell. "Do what you want cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!" she called out.
Grinning, Qwark was the first to sing out, with Nefarious and Alister shortly joining in afterwards.
"Yar har, fiddle-dee-dee Being a pirate is alright with me! Do what you want cause a pirate is free! You are a pirate!"
Guiding the raft over the waterways towards the Lighthouse that was their goal proved to be rather relaxing for the group. Hostiles proved few and far between, and the four of them working together were able to steer the raft most accurately, to avoid spiked mines that sometimes ran along the side of the path. The only point of interest for the group during the first half of the trip was when they entered another of the displaced critter labs, where they unlocked the second to last part of the mechas demonstrated, leaving only the legs to be unlocked. When they were informed that a few more tests to unlock the 'Last Resort' project, the recorded voice had only one more thing to say. "I can't say much about it...except to say it's guaranteed to 'Rip Ya a New One'."
Twilight had gasped in surprise at that. "A mech version of the RYNO sequence?" she squealed happily. "Oh, I can't wait to get my hooves on those!"
"You and me both!" Nefarious crowed happily. "Well, hands for me. I don't have hooves..." Turning away, he whispered under his breath, "...yet..."
"So, we're going to have mechs designed to function on the level of the RYNO sequence?" Qwark asked in surprise. "And Twilight and Nefarious are both going to upgrade them? How is the planet going to be intact after four of those are unleashed?"
"Because we'll be responsible with them?" Alister suggested reasonably.
Qwark, Nefarious, and Twilight all turned to stare at him, then burst into uncontrollable laughter. After a time, the laughter diminished when they noticed he wasn't laughing. "Wait..." Nefarious began. "You were serious?"
"Yes," Alister growled, his eyes narrowed.
"Wow..." Nefarious replied. "I can't decide if that's hilarious or just sad." He scratched at his chin for a time. "Oh, what the heck! I'll laugh anyw-OW!"
Twilight withdrew her hoof from where she'd jabbed Nefarious in the metallic ribs. "Behave," she scolded.
Nefarious grumbled under his breath, but relented.
After dealing with a few Bomber Minions, they managed to dock the raft at a wooden platform, following the path it revealed further along. After dealing with another Bomber Minion, they encountered another holo-diary, which promptly displayed its message, starting with an image of a wrecked lab.
"Holo-diary, 003. It has been 22 years since I lost Mr. Dinkles. I checked the Fjords of Rankaroon, the Meadows of Tortom 5, and even the Bluffs of Vendros...nothing. But I know he's out there. Oh, poor Mr. Dinkles. I shudder to think of the countless birthdays he spent as a slave to Nevo's machinations. What plans does that traitor have for these creatures? I must act before it's too late. I have repurposed an old servitor drone to scour the planet for his whereabouts. Using a sample of Mr. Dinkles DNA, Ephemerus will run a comparative analysis of every life form it encounters, until it finds a match."
The image of the machine in question was tiny, plainly an original prototype, just barely big enough to hold a single animal in it.
"Without Mr. Dinkles, Nevo's plans will crumble, and Magnos will be safe from his treachery."
With that last message, the holo-diary ended.
"Huh," Twilight murmured softly. "So...that big station started out as just that tiny thing that was supposed to find his kitty? That's...kinda sad but sweet."
"Personally, I'd have started with the giant one," Nefarious commented dryly. "Faster, and has a much larger range right off the bat, and you don't have to include any self-repair or self-upgrade protocols that inevitably cause it to go rogue as it redefines its original mission."
"You think that's what happened?" Qwark asked curiously.
"Whether accidentally or through sabotage, yes," Nefarious confirmed.
"Well, either way, we're no closer to the Lighthouse standing here," Alister commented dryly. "Let's go."
The group followed the winding path of the wooden platforms around until they eventually reached another raft. This raft trip, however, was much less relaxing, as several bombers flew over dropping bombs, staying out of weapon range as they did so, forcing the group to very carefully maneuver the raft around the falling bombs in addition to the spiked mines they'd already had to deal with. Thankfully, those bombs that did land on the raft could be launched into the water with the Vac-U before it exploded if they acted quickly. Thankfully, that trip was short lived, coming to a stop at more wooden platforms after a jump over numerous spiked mines.
"So much for relaxing," Twilight grumbled as she staggered off the raft and onto the platforms. "I think I'd prefer walking instead of sailing if it's going to be that exciting. At least that way we only have to worry about the incoming enemies."
"Well, I think we're almost there," Alister replied, pointing to how close the Lighthouse looked. "Shouldn't be that much further."
"Hopefully we'll be able to take a break there," Qwark spoke up. "We shouldn't be letting Twilight push herself too hard."
"I'm fine BBBFF," Twilight complained. "I've still got plenty of stamina."
"As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with the overgrown man-child," Nefarious spoke up. "You're the only one of our group with noticeable biological limits, and the only one the hostiles here actually want captured. The last thing we want is you getting too tired to fight back."
Twilight rolled her eyes, grumbling under her breath. "Fine!" Twilight snapped back. "But no babying! I outgrew that years ago!"
"How about another massage?" Nefarious offered as they leapt across numerous floating pieces of wooden wreckage.
"And I can find some plants around here you can eat to make you a nice salad!" Qwark added eagerly.
Twilight giggled to herself. "Pampering's alright."
"This is getting embarrassing," Alister grumbled as they reached dry land, and another cannon launcher to take them closer to the Lighthouse.
The cannon successfully launched them to a series of wooden platforms and Swingshot targets that could plainly be seen to lead straight to the lighthouse. As they approached, however, a massive red creature could be seen moving about on the surface of the water around the island the lighthouse was built on.
"That's the King Sepiad, isn't it?" Twilight asked nervously.
"Most likely," Nefarious confirmed. "I suppose it was too much to hope that we wouldn't have to deal with every creature dumped here on our way through."
"Then again, leaving a non-native predator of that size here could be disastrous for the ecosystem once Twilight fixes the planet," Qwark pointed out logically.
"You say that as though that's a given," Alister commented dryly.
"It is!" Qwark confirmed. "She fixes broken planets all the time! Her first adventure ended with her fixing over a dozen broken planets with a single overcharged spell!"
"Really?" Nefarious asked, surprised.
"Yup!" Twilight confirmed. "Channeled through a planet destroying laser!" She paused. "Well, a single spell combination..."
Her words were interrupted as the massive King Sepiad - whose eyes were as big as the adventurers' entire bodies - ripped a large portion of the wooden bridge to the lighthouse off its moorings before looming over them like a disturbing cross between a squid, a lobster, and an octopus.
"So...do we have enough firepower to deal with that?" Alister asked worriedly. "Cause...it's pretty damn big..."
At that moment, the Fongoid who'd been guarding his boat at the docks zoomed over, his boat flying in the air over them. "Any of you guys need a lift?" he called out as the King Sepiad roared.
"Yes!" the whole group yelled out as they latched onto the boat with their Swingshots, trailing after it on the water as he gunned his engine to keep ahead of the King Sepiad, who immediately pursued them.
"Hang on!" the boat pilot called out as he sped away as fast as his boat would go.
"Yahoo!" Qwark shouted out as he posed on the water, enjoying the water-skiing.
The Fongoid took them around the water as best he could, trying to keep away from the King Sepiad, which was soon quite close and right on their heels. "Any ideas how to deal with this guy?" Alister called out.
"Maybe the Shock Towers?" the driver suggested. "We used to use them to keep the Sepiads away...before everyone moved. But they need to be activated manually!"
"We'll take care of it!" Twilight shouted out.
As the Fongoid steered the boat near the small floating tower, the group broke off, sliding across the water to the tower to activate the controls. As the King Sepiad reached it, the tower let off a large blast of electricity straight into the King Sepiad, forcing it to withdraw into the water as it regathered its senses, letting the group latch back onto the back of the boat.
Unfortunately, the one blast wasn't enough to fully discourage the King Sepiad, and it wasn't long before it was in pursuit once more.
"This is taking too long!" Nefarious shouted out angrily. "Twilight, any chance you could fly ahead to the next Shock Tower and supercharge it before we get there so we can turn this into King Calamari?"
"Should have done that before we started skiing!" Twilight called back over the sound of the waves. "My wake's left my wings waterlogged! I'm going to need to dry out before I can fly again!"
"Then we'll just have to hit it enough times to make it stop!" Qwark proclaimed confidently. "Shouldn't take more than...three more shots, right?"
"What makes you say that?" Alister screamed out.
"Because no enemy we've ever faced has had more than four stages!" he called back. This proclamation was met with rolled eyes from Alister, a facepalm from Nefarious, and a giggle from Twilight.
They continued to seek out the Shock Towers, more obstacles popping out of the water as they went. Mines, jump ramps, Tortomoths, electrified fences...each run tested the group's skill on the water, and pushed them harder as they made their way to the next Shock Tower. Much to Nefarious' frustrations, only two more Shock Towers were required to finish it off, or so it appeared. This let their driver steer them safely back onto the broken bridge on the other side of the gap the King Sepiad had created.
As they made their way up to the Lighthouse, however, the King Sepiad erupted out of the water, gripping the bridge with its two massive tendrils as it loomed dizzily over them. It then grabbed the Fongoids boat and shook him over his open mouth, but Twilight was able to teleport both civilian and boat to a safe distance at the last moment. "Let's run!" she screamed out, leading the group straight up the side of the Lighthouse thanks to the magnetic surface.
The King Sepiad climbed up after them on the other side of the tower, smashing parts of the walkway blindly to try and crush them, but Nefarious made certain to stop the group in safe spots before anyone could be crushed, claiming his sonar let him sense where it was about to strike. Twilight pointedly did not question this.
Once at the top of the Lighthouse, the group found themselves protected by a dome, which the King Sepiad kept trying to break through. "Okay...now what?" Twilight asked worriedly. "We need to stop it from attacking long enough to counterattack..."
"Maybe we could use the Lighthouse?" Qwark suggested. "Sort of...mesmerize it?"
"It's as good an idea as any!" Alister called out as he backed away from the tentacle that had reached under the dome to attack. "Nefarious! Do you have the schematics?"
At that moment, a tube at the side of the platform opened up and released a Slorg, and a circle in the center of the platform opened up, revealing the Lighthouse's power center.
"I'd suggest knocking the electrified creature into the electrical processing unit, but that's just me," Nefarious offered snidely.
The idea worked as far as it went, and once three Slorgs had been knocked into the pit, a Versa-Crank unfolded from the side of the tower. Qwark quickly raced over with Alister to turn it, igniting the Lighthouse and leaving the King Sepiad stunned. A Swingshot target hung out of the side of its mouth as more Slorgs were released onto the top of the tower.
"I've got an idea!" Twilight shouted out, rushing forward. Locking onto the target, she pulled the King Sepiad's mouth open.
"I've got it!" Nefarious called back, using his weapons to knock the Slorgs into the wide open mouth.
After three Slorgs electrifying it from within, it regained control of itself, and the whole sequence repeated itself. The King Sepiad tried to stop them by covering the Versa-Crank, but Qwark punched the tendril aside before turning it with Alister. Three more fed Slorgs left it choking and unconscious enough for them to finish it off with a few blasts of their Devastators.
"That was...rough," Twilight murmured as she tried and failed to shake her wings dry.
"Well, we should be almost done," Alister offered as they took an elevator down to the wooden platform on the other side of the Lighthouse the King Sepiad's body had fallen onto.
"Look!" Qwark called out as they made their way around the corpse. "There's the rail station!"
"Then let's go," Nefarious declared, scooping Twilight up so she didn't have to walk with her wet wings.
By the time the group arrived in Terawatt Forest, Twilight's wings had dried out completely and the whole group was ready to continue their exploration. The forest itself was brightly lit and full of lush vegetation in bright colors, with a solid stone path to follow along. The only momentary concern was electrical interference that interrupted their connection with Aphelion, though Ratchet was able to solve it quickly, though with no guarantee that the fix would hold.
"From these readings," Ratchet informed them, "the very rocks of the Forest seem to be emitting some form of aberrant energy."
"Right," Twilight confirmed. "I'll be sure to grab several dozen samples."
"That's not- oh, nevermind," Ratchet grumbled.
"We'd best have a carry capsule that can contain the aberrant energy so nothing else gets affected," Nefarious suggested logically.
"Oh, I'm sure we'll come up with something," Twilight purred happily. "But first we need to find some of those rocks..."
As they walked, they came across yet another hostile creature, a strange cross between a mantis and a ladybug the size of Alister called an Anthropod. It broke from a single strike of any weapon, and was rapidly ignored.
Not far beyond, a new weapons vendor was located, with new weapons available. Twilight happily bought the whole group each a Thunder-Smack, a weapon designed to generate miniature thunderstorms. "So, how will we tweak this one?" Nefarious asked eagerly.
"How about making it capable of generating a localized weather system of any sort, with a selector switch?" Twilight offered excitedly.
"Genius!" The pair immediately fell to tinkering as they walked, with Alister and Qwark focusing on dealing with the actual hostiles.
Before long, they encountered a large capsule containing several large spheres, with platforms to interact with. "That's an Orb-o-matic," Nefarious explained after a few moments. "Croid designed it as a...children's play toy for use in hostile environments."
"And it's here because...?" Qwark began, curious of any sort of explanation.
"Let's find out!" Twilight offered eagerly, stepping up to the device and activating it. "Wah!" she yelped out as energy launched out from the device, surrounding her in a metallic sphere that rolled around as she moved. "...freaky..."
"The spheres conduct electricity on their outsides," Nefarious explained as he stepped up. "We should be able to use them to complete electrical circuits and the like. Like the one right there which probably controls a bridge." He pointed to the two electrical towers with no connection between them.
"Then let's transform and roll out!" Qwark proclaimed as he stepped up to the platform and was ensphered. "Ooh! Tingly!"
Alister rolled his eyes heavenward in resignation before getting into a ball himself.
Once they were all balled up, they discovered that they could unfold from the balls and reenter them at will, much to Twilight's relief as she was unable to tinker with Nefarious while in a ball. Various other devices also were designed to work with the balls, so that worked out well. As they continued, a new hostile entity approached. This one looked like a grey alligator with blue spikes on its back, hunched over as it dragged a legless lower body along behind it. As it reached some strange blue crystalline structure on the ground, it expanded, its body turning red as it started giving off an electrical field, allowing the group to identify it as a Shard Beast.
"Those must be the stones giving off the odd energy!" Twilight called out. "They're amplifying the Shard Beast's power!"
"Then lets break the crystals!" Qwark shouted out, swinging his Smashhammer. Rushing forward, he smashed the large crystals erupting from the ground to bits. When the Shard Beast shrank, Qwark seized it by its lower body and proceeded to smash it against the ground repeatedly until it burst apart in a final impact crater. He stared down at for a moment. "Ha! Puny, uh, whatever you were!"
Rolling her eyes and giggling, Twilight threw Qwark a cookie which he snatched out of the air in his mouth, making Nefarious burst into peals of laughter.
Once Twilight and Nefarious had successfully collected some samples through the simple expedient of having Twilight launch them into space at high speeds for Aphelion to capture and place in her storage area, where the energy emissions couldn't effect anything, the group continued forward across more bouncy mushrooms. As they continued, one of the larger Minion robots tried to block their way, but its actions drew the attention of an even more massive Guardian Robot that - until it moved - had been mistaken for the top of a mountain.
"...I want one," Twilight purred as she stared up at the Guardian Robot, licking her lips eagerly.
Qwark and Alister rolled their eyes. Nefarious, however, rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
The group made their way forward carefully, avoiding the watchful eyes of the Guardian Robot, and others like it along the narrow path. Not much further along, they encountered a smaller mech unit identified as a Croid Bot, a purple mech with a small robotic pilot, armed with two clawed tentacles and four plasma blasters. Unfortunately, its armor left much to be desired.
"Does anyone else think we might have a bit too much in the way of arsenal for this world?" Alister asked curiously.
All three others turned to stare at him as though he'd just said something incredibly stupid. After all, Nefarious and Twilight at least would have found him growing a second head absolutely fascinating.
Alister sighed fitfully. "Just me then," he grumbled, following along as the group continued their destructive path.
The group continued to make their way forward in the calm, peaceful forest. The path remained straightforward, with few hostiles, likely due to the occasional Guardian robots watching over the path. The only moment of concern for a while was a new hostile creature they encountered, a floating, spiky purple blob called a Razormoth. However, they proved to be rather fragile, and like many other such things they encountered, ceased to be a concern. Despite the fact the Razormoths hunted in large swarms, the four's arsenal proved to be more than a match.
At one point, one of the Guardian's tractor beams managed to catch Alister by the tip of his tail, but Qwark was able to pull him out with his Vac-U before he was dragged too far. Alister nodded his thanks silently, instead focusing on moving forward.
The group continued to collect every friendly Critter they found with their Vac-U's, as much to protect the Critters from predators as to have enough to unlock the next 'Last Resort' Lab they came across. The one time this became a concern was when they came across a group of Critters about to be under attack by a swarm of Razormoths. They quickly divided the labor, with Twilight and Alister - as the fastest - collecting the Critters while Qwark and Nefarious - as the biggest - destroyed the Razormoths.
Before long, the group reached another peaceful local. "Welcome, science fans, to the Frumpus Croid Exploratorium of Scientific Wonderment!" he greeted them warmly. "It's..." He hesitated, then continued, sounding more forlorn. "Well, it's not much to look at now, but years ago there was wonderment all up in this place! It was like, 'Oh what did I just step in?' 'Oh, that's just wonderment. No big deal. We've got more'."
"A display of scientific knowledge and discovery?" Twilight squealed eagerly. "Even if it's somewhat run down, just imagine what might be in there!"
"Just think of the weapons we could make with all that!" Nefarious cackled.
"Uh...weapons?" the local asked nervously.
"N-no, not weapons!" Qwark hastened to reassure him. "My robotic colleague meant, uh, Gadgets! Yes, that's right! Gadgets to help sophonts everywhere!"
"Yes, help sophonts," Nefarious agreed, rubbing his hands together. "Help them to be annihil-"
"We can't get a ticket to get in and past whatever security they might have if you frighten this guy into fainting," Alister pointed out. "And that would make Twilight very upset."
"I make movies," Nefarious quickly spoke up, glancing back and forth nervously, certain there was no way the local would buy that excuse.
"Oh I love those!" the local proclaimed eagerly. "The explosions always look so real!"
"Y...es, yes, that's very nice," Nefarious offered condescendingly, realigning his assessment of the local's intellect at 0.5 Qwarks. "Now, be a good tour guide and tell us where we can find Dr. Croid."
"Last I saw him, he locked himself in the Hall of Paradoxology," the guide explained readily.
"And that would be...where?" Alister inquired.
"Just take this tour cart over to Rosa Fields!" the guide explained. "Then cross Gorthon Crater to the main campus. Of course, that crater's impossible to cross without a guardian bot, but maybe you can find a way to power it up."
Twilight squealed eagerly at the prospect of actually getting a Guardian. Nefarious rubbed his metal hands together wickedly. "I'm certain we'll manage something..." he cackled softly.
"While you're there, maybe you could ask when I'm getting my next paycheck?" the guide requested. "I haven't seen him - or a paycheck - in a long time." He paused thoughtfully. "Maybe I should look into getting another job..."
"We'll do that," Qwark promised warmly.
"Right this way, then!" the guide proclaimed, walking to the tour cart. "Right this way! Wonderment abounds!"
Once the tour cart was pointed out, the group hopped on, riding it down the rail while watching carefully for any threat, while at the same time taking in the panoramic views presented as they descended into a wide canyon. As they rode, the cart started playing a tour video, but the group mostly ignored it...aside from the fact it was made by Frumpus Croid and Nevo Binklemeyer. Neither were all that physically impressive.
The tour cart came to a halt, allowing the group to move ahead. Every so often, a screen would illuminate with a portion of the tour video, pointing out something of significance. The first such case was a gadget called a Protomorphic Energy Repository, designed to syphon and redistribute energy from shards of comets that had fallen there long ago.
A greater concern for the group was just how dark the path was, with very little light anywhere about. Even Twilight's brightest light spell didn't push the darkness back far...and things could be heard in the darkness, things that slithered and writhed and hungered.
"I'm just guessing," Qwark began, "but I don't think it's safe to wander about in the darkness without some sort of light."
"Probably accurate," Alister murmured cautiously. "Looks like the comet shards are the only things that give off enough light to push the darkness back. We can tow one along with us, and gather extra energy as we go from the looks of it."
"You aren't...scared of the dark, are you?" Nefarious asked curiously.
"Not the dark, no," Twilight corrected. "But I've felt the power of Dark Magic. I've seen what lurks in the deepest darkness. I'd be a fool to not be afraid of what might be out in those shadows."
"Then how come Qwark's afraid?" Nefarious murmured softly.
"He still needs a night light," Twilight explained teasingly, setting the pair to laughing.
With the energized fragment being towed behind them, the group carefully made their way through the supernatural darkness, hearing things slithering around in the darkness, things they knew they would never see in the light. Strange plant-like growths slithered just out of sight, hiding in the ground when the light came too close...but swallowing whole anything that got too close in the dark.
The entire group traversed in silence, one of them keeping guard over their primary comet shard while the others grabbed every illuminated fragment they came across to restore energy, moving swiftly but carefully to get away from the shadowy things that hungered, and knew neither mercy nor compassion, and sought only victims to slake their feral need, to feed on agony as much as flesh. So intense had the fear the group was feeling became that they took no notice of their surroundings beyond the circle of light in which they traveled, and opened fire instantly on anything that entered that circle from the outside, taking no time to identify, only struggling to survive and escape the dark.
Scattered throughout the shadowy land were more points at which the energy of the comet fragment could be fully recharged, and gave off light itself to push the darkness back. Each point stood out as a beacon, guiding the group from one to the next as they made their way through. Twilight stayed close to each light source and the comet fragment, loath to leave, seeming terrified of what the darkness might do to her if she dared enter.
Finally, they reached a new mechanical point, where a strange device came down and collected the comet fragment, conserving its light and lifting it slowly towards somewhere unknown. Twilight looked to be on the verge of panic as the group was forced to follow the path up slowly, waiting long enough for the light to make the lethal shadow creatures withdraw, but not so long that the light left without them. Eventually, Qwark scooped her up and carried her over one shoulder rather than leave her in such a state, letting her curl up and hide from the darkness.
"Is she going to be okay?" Alister asked worriedly.
"The darkness holds great fear for her...with good reason," Qwark explained simply. "I wish I could do something for her..."
"Maybe you should eat a comet shard," Nefarious suggested. "It might make your body glow with light to push back the darkness."
"You think it'll work?" Qwark asked dubiously.
"Can you think of a reason it wouldn't?" Nefarious countered.
"Umm...what if the comet fragments have something to do with the weird energy Nevo was experimenting with that we speculate to be somehow sentient and evil?" Qwark queried. "Might there be...side effects?"
"...I suppose so, now," Nefarious grumbled, having hoped Qwark's 'believe and it's so' aspect would let that work.
"Maybe you could try punching the darkness away?" Alister suggested jokingly.
"Good idea!" Qwark proclaimed as he grabbed a comet shard. "Kagayaku Ken!" he proclaimed loudly as he thrust his clenched fist forward, crushing the shard as he did so.
The light of the shard launched forward in a wave, illuminating the entire path and forcing the dark things to withdraw.
Nefarious' jaw dropped. After stooping to pick it up and reattach it, he turned to Alister. "Good job!" he complimented, giving him a thumbs up.
"I was being facetious..." Alister whimpered as he managed to keep up, relieved to see Twilight more or less back to normal, once more walking on her own, though staying close to Qwark.
"Yeah," Twilight pointed out laughingly, "Mom and Dad learned long ago that doesn't work well with us-"
"I can't believe I messed that up!" Qwark yelled out suddenly, clutching his head. "Can I get a do over?" he pleaded.
"What in heavens name are you talking about?" Nefarious demanded angrily.
"I should have cast Magic Missile!" Qwark wailed out.
Alister stared at him like he was crazy. Nefarious and Twilight, however, burst into laughter not moments later.
With the entire path illuminated, chasing after the charged fragment proved both easier and far more relaxing, something the entire group needed after the harrowing trek through the dark plains. However, it quickly became clear they weren't quite done, as the strange device deposited the comet fragment at the top of the sloping path they'd just followed. However, now that they knew another way to safely illuminate the path, they took advantage of it while still towing the fragment along, if only in case it proved useful later on as a power source.
When the illumination Qwark had initially provided began to dim, he once more got a chance to do over, and this time he did indeed, 'cast Magic Missile', making Twilight giggle and Nefarious roll his eyes.
The field itself ended at a deep pit, with a bridge crossing into it a short distance. A screen displayed another video segment, describing the area as the start of the crater where the comet itself impacted so many years ago. When they reached the end of the bridge, an inactive Guardian bot rose up, a hole in its chest perfectly sized to receive the device that had been holding the comet fragment.
"So...should we load it in?" Qwark asked curiously.
"Not just yet!" Nefarious warned. "First, I need to reset its programming matrix so it doesn't boot up in murder mode! Just let me at the head, I'll take care of the rest!"
"Not without me, you don't!" Twilight squealed happily.
Alister chuckled softly as he leaned back against the platform. "Here we go again..."
Before long, Twilight and Nefarious climbed down the Guardian's body, wiping their hands and hooves respectively. "Well, time to load up the comet fragment," Nefarious stated firmly.
"So...are we going to have to worry about it deciding to do something other than carrying us across?" Alister asked worriedly as they shifted the fragment into position.
"I wish," Twilight grumbled. "But the central control unit isn't complex enough to support a personality matrix, and it's designed to fry itself if anyone tries to alter the primary circuitry. If we want to use it at all, we'll have to work within the existing system of it being a simple automaton." She sighed as she helped load up the fragment, the Guardian coming online. "I was really looking forward to having a giant robot little brother..."
"Well, we can't always get what we want," Qwark offered comfortingly. "If anyone should know that, it's me. But at least we'll always get what we need."
"So...just a clear ride to the 'Hall of Paradoxology'?" Alister asked curiously.
"Not entirely," Nefarious corrected. "According to the program grid, the Hall is on total lockdown. We'll have to deal with that first, one way or the other."
"I...don't suppose you managed to upgrade the Guardian's weapons, then?" Qwark asked as they made their way to the top of the Guardian before it began marching.
"Don't be silly!" Twilight teased. "Of course I did!" Tapping the controls on top, she activated massive laser weapons in the arms as well as the rockets on top. "Anything we fight won't know what hit them."
Nefarious cackled at the others' expressions. "Let's see what we can do!"
The Guardian carefully made its way along the path as the group blasted away the obstacles they encountered. The group used the rockets on the hostiles they encountered, whether robotic or biological, and the Guardian only used its laser on defensive turrets they encountered, as well as Guardians they encountered that were locked on 'murder mode'.
The Guardian dropped them off on a bridge to the primary Power Station, where they needed to make adjustments to put the system into reset. While the Guardian leapt down to deal with the other Guardians locked on murder mode, the group moved forward, only to encounter another holo diary bot with a message to play. This time, the image again showed inside a lab.
"Holo-diary, 004. It has been 50 years since Mr. Dinkles was taken, and my rescue plan has backfired in a most disastrous way. The directive matrix that restricts Ephemerus to this planet has been deleted."
The image shifted, revealing Nevo at work. "The on board security camera shows that this was no accident. This was Nevo's doing. This is twice he has taken what does not belong to him, only now he has something that will allow him to expand his plan beyond the confines of Magnos." The camera shifted to display a panoramic scenery, with something flying across carrying a large hunk of metal. "And now, Ephemerus grows under Nevo's control. He's modifying it for interplanetary travel, extending his reach further and further into the cosmos. Soon, there will be no stopping him." A small ship took off in the background. "I can wait no longer. I must venture to Uzo City for a long overdue confession, and to convince the Tharpods to stop my old friend...at all costs. We must succeed, for if we fail, dark times will befall the planet, or worse...the universe itself." The entry ended.
Twilight frowned. "Umm...wasn't the first holo diary entry we found - entry 005 - about how Ephemerus and Commander Spog laid waste to Uzo City?"
Nefarious quickly checked his memory files. "Yes. Yes it was. I guess we know how that turned out."
"And that's why everything is in this state," Alister concluded. "Well, I guess it's up to us to put a stop to this, then. However we can."
As the group made their way around the path, more video screens began giving information, revealing that the power station was controlled by an AI named 'the Stewart'. This informed them who the computer voice they'd been hearing for so long was, and making them realize they'd been mishearing the name every time Spog had called out to it. As they approached, the Stewart's voice could be heard.
"Exploratorium employees detected. Initiating energy restoration tutorial version 2.1."
"Well, at least we won't have to figure out what to do on our own," Qwark spoke up. "Rebooting the power should fix everything, and it'll even help us to do it!"
"I...suppose that's good," Twilight muttered under her breath. "Though I was kinda looking forward to poking around and seeing what made it all tick, maybe reverse engineering some of it..."
"It's better we get it done the proper way rather than breaking something accidentally," Alister pointed out. "Fate of the galaxy on the line and all that, remember Twilight?"
"You say that like it's something new," Twilight countered grumpily, but nodding assent. "Alright, alright...I suppose when an instruction manual is available, it's better to go by it when lives are on the line."
"Aw, come on!" Nefarious complained. "You could have talked Qwark around easily, and then we could have said screw the rules and tinkered! What gives?"
Twilight burst into giggles. "Well, I remembered the last time I tried to reverse engineer something this size took me a month, and I want to be done before Friday."
Nefarious blinked. "Oh, yes, right. Friday. By the book it is, then."
Following the tutorial provided by Stewart, the group was readily able to figure out how all the power systems of the station worked, and made their way forward to reset the system. This proved to be a very simple, if time consuming, endeavor, moving all around the station itself generating power before connecting sub-stations to the main station with 'cable cannons'. Twilight eventually grew bored muttering over how inefficient the whole system was, and eventually the group found other ways to spend the time while working their way around, as even hostiles didn't crop up often enough to be entertaining.
With the station fully restored, the lockdown on the Hall of Paradoxology disengaged, and a launchpad became available to send the group straight to their destination. "Well...that's convenient," Twilight murmured thoughtfully.
"You seem conflicted," Alister pointed out curiously.
"Well..." Twilight began awkwardly.
"Let me guess," Nefarious spoke up. "On the one hand, 'Yay! No backtracking!' On the other hand, 'Aww! No more Guardian rides!' How close am I?"
Twilight giggled through her blush. "Dead on. How'd you know?"
"Because it's exactly what I was thinking!" Nefarious cackled happily.
"Me too!" Qwark spoke up happily.
"If you three don't get moving, I'll turn us around and backtrack anyway!" Alister snapped out as he moved to the launcher.
"Just because you're the mature adult, what makes you think you're in charge?" Nefarious snapped back, but complied since Twilight already had.
As they moved forward towards the entrance, an alarm went off and the Stewart spoke up. "Warning! Critical failure detected in outer security grid."
"What happened?" Qwark gasped out worriedly.
Twilight cursed under her breath. "I knew this would happen!" she grumbled. "A system this old...that much power all at once probably fried something! We need to hurry!"
"Let's go then!" Alister shouted out, taking point.
Just as the group got to the platform halfway along the final bridge to the Hall entrance, the bridge came apart around them. "Detecting incoming enemies!" Stewart spoke up.
"So close!" Nefarious snapped out.
Taking to the air, Twilight flew across the remaining distance before the enemies could arrive. "Come on!" she shouted out. The rest of the group quickly locked on with their swingshots, and the group made their way into the Hall of Paradoxology, the locked door providing only a momentary hurdle for Twilight's magic.
The inside of the H.O.P. at first proved to be rather narrow and poorly decorated. It wasn't clear if this was just bad taste on the part of the designers or the ravages of time and neglect, but it left the group eager to rush through, even as they heard from the videos that this is where studies of Creatures and their Caretakers was done. "So...this is where this all began, then?" Twilight murmured as she ran with the group.
The only detail of significant information came about when it was revealed that the altered behavior and energies of the Creatures was due to being irradiated at some point in the past, long before the Tharpods came across them.
When they got into the second hall, however, the video messages changed. "Good evening, Nevo," the lone scientist spoke up. "I recorded this message in anticipation of your pathetic assassination attempt. This lab, as you've no doubt realized...is a decoy!"
"Dammit!" Alister snapped as the group stared around the large room, containing only what looked like a shuttle of some sort.
"I've already moved all our research to the Phonica Moon," the message continued.
"Really?" Nefarious asked, his voice flat. "Either you're trying to set a trap, or are just really bad at this if you're telling the enemy you're fleeing where you're going."
"I know what you're trying to do," the message continued as though there had been no interruption, "and I will not let it happen."
"I get the feeling we don't have all the information we should..." Qwark murmured as the video ended.
"So...what now?" Twilight asked. "Contact Aphelion and send Daddy and the others after Dr. Croid on the moon and get directions from them?"
"Or..." Nefarious offered, gesturing to the large rocket-like vehicle. "Or we can use this prototype orbital craft to make our own way to the moon through the dangerous asteroid field so we can confront Croid ourselves!"
"I like the idea of sending Ratchet..." Alister began.
"Rocket!" Qwark called out eagerly.
"Rocket!" Twilight agreed readily.
"Dammit," Alister grumbled, snapping his fingers as Nefarious grinned from ear to ear.
Once the craft exited the atmosphere, most of it fell away leaving only the Lunar Module, which contained the four pods the group were inside and the manually controlled engines to maneuver them through the field to the moon. "Alright," Alister began carefully. "We only have so much fuel here, so we need to be fast but careful."
"Scanners indicate a few gelatonium capsules along the route we can collect to replenish our fuel," Nefarious added, "so we should consider priorities whenever we come across them, but gather any that we can without wasting more than we'll gain from grabbing them."
"And above all else, we should avoid bumping into any asteroids," Twilight confirmed. "There's no way to repair the module mid-flight, so we're done for if it breaks."
"Follow my lead everyone!" Qwark proclaimed as he maneuvered the rocket he had control of. "I'll see us through safely!"
"...how about we let Nefarious set the course?" Alister suggested cautiously. "He's got the strongest sensors available, after all. I'm pretty sure we'll be fine here as long as he takes the lead."
Frowning, Nefarious shifted his communicator so Twilight wasn't in the signal. "You're also thinking in terms of my temporal sensors in case of Orvus having to turn back time, aren't you?" he demanded calmly of Alister.
"Didn't want to remind Twilight of the possibility, but yes," Alister confirmed.
"Right!" Nefarious proclaimed as he shifted back to open comms. "Follow my lead. I'll get us there in six minutes or less."
The trip wound up only taking two and a half minutes, though a very stressful time at that, mostly because everyone had to stay as quiet as possible and breathe shallowly to conserve the shared oxygen in the module. The only light point in the journey was when they passed by Aphelion, who flashed them an encouraging message with well wishes from her passengers.
The lunar surface didn't seem all that different from the planetary surface at first, allowing the group to easily make their way forward to a nearby spire, clambering their way upward. As they did so, more message from Dr. Croid berated 'Nevo' for acting first as a thief and then as an assassin for 'those things'. The group chose to ignore these statements, as it only added evidence to support theories they'd already developed.
The terrain itself was brown and rocky, with little to no signs of biological life as they progressed, not even the slightest hint of a growing green. The first new hostile creature they encountered was a massive centipede like creature, colored blood red, its body segments connected by bio-energy tethers. Nefarious readily identified it as a Craterpede, a heavily armored burrowing scavenger that lived in low atmosphere, rocky terrains like moons and asteroids. "Its weakpoint is its tail," Nefarious explained. A quick salvo proved this accurate, and the attacking creature was destroyed, opening an energy field that had blocked the path forward.
The next new hostile was a frog-like being with eyestalks that lived in acid pools. Alister was able to identify it as a Lurker, and only dangerous from its ability to spit spheres of acid. This, too, proved very little of an obstacle to the group of four.
Eventually, they reached an actual building guarded by Minion bots, and they were forced to fight their way in. "Here's hoping he'll actually listen to us after we've blasted our way into his stronghold," Twilight murmured. "I mean, it'd be far too easy for him to believe that we're working for Nevo, or whoever Nevo's working for, after all this."
"Just be your usual adorable self!" Qwark suggested. "Maybe he'll think you're a highly evolved 'Creature' here to save him and Nevo and set right what's gone wrong here."
Nefarious paused his blasting as he actually thought about those words. "...Qwark, given everything I know of Twilight's history and capabilities, I'm completely stunned that you would suggest that. It's an actually reasonable, logical theory as far as Twilight's origins, or at least as reasonable or logical as any that's been come up with so far, especially with how she reached Ratchet. How in the world did you come up with it?"
"I fell out of a tree," Qwark offered as though it explained everything.(1)
"That doesn't even make sense!" Nefarious roared in frustration, stomping his feet and flailing his arms.
"Wow," Qwark murmured. "That's a lot more entertaining to watch in person."
"QWAAAAA-" Nefarious started to scream, only for him to error. Once again, an audio clip from a TV show started to play, though not a soap this time. A voice that - by accent - seemed descended from Eastern Europe of Old Earth shouted out, "Curse you Perry the Platypus!"
"My turn! My turn!" Alister shouted out, rushing to Nefarious' side and clocking him in the head with his wrench-spear.
"-AAAAR-ow, my head!" Nefarious concluded, rubbing at his dome.
Qwark and Twilight shot Alister an amused glance.
Alister shrugged his shoulders. "What? I need my catharsis and schadenfreude somehow."
Twilight chuckled, rolling her eyes as she turned to lead the way forward.
With the defending robots defeated, a new Gadget was revealed. This proved to be giant glass-like shields - shaped not unlike riot shields - called 'Reflectors'. The primary use of these gadgets appeared to be blocking continuous laser fire - such as from ion turrets - that enabled them to make their way past otherwise uncrossable paths. After seeing how limited it was, Twilight sighed sadly. "I miss my Refractor Armor," she pouted.
Deciding not to let regrets keep her down, she moved with the group forward, getting past the obstacles arranged to stop them from reaching the actual facility, which was much farther away than the building they'd encountered. Eventually, they reached what looked like the entrance to a massive silo, which they believed to actually be related to the facility they were searching for.
Four capsules with green spheres inside them surrounded the silo, and a green laser beam shot across the silo on a regular basis. Experimentation revealed that using the Reflector on the laser deflected it, causing it to shatter the capsules. When all four were shattered, the silo opened to reveal an elevator.
"Think this is they way in?" Qwark asked curiously.
"I dunno," Alister murmured. "It seems a bit too lightly defended if that's the case. It feels like it might be a trap."
"Well, if I were this Croid character, it would be," Nefarious began. "The obvious entrance like this would lead down into a death trap meant to catch those coming after me, and the actual safe entrance would be inside a sewage pipe. Only way to ensure no one gets in who isn't supposed to."
"Except that they always do anyway," Twilight teased playfully.
"Well the rules of good villain base designs never accounted for someone who could take the building apart from 50 miles away, let alone what you can do from up close, Twilight!" Nefarious countered. "However, I fully intend to adjust for that! Just...as soon as I figure out how."
"Well, if this is a trap, I think we should spring it," Qwark explained.
"Are you nuts?" Nefarious demanded.
"Think about it this way," Qwark explained. "Croid's a scientist, like you. He's expecting to be hunted by another scientist, who would suspect a trap here, or by bots, who would be focused on that building back there." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "So if we just walk in, the trap won't be designed for our actions, and we should be fine."
Nefarious thought about that for a time. "...well, can't say I fault that logic," he grumbled at last, the group stepping onto the elevator. As long as it's sprung within six minutes, he thought to himself.
Once they were all on the elevator platform, it dropped out from under them, dropping them into what seemed like a bottomless pit. "Jetpacks!" Twilight screamed out as she spread her wings. Thankfully, everyone reacted quickly, and they began slowly descending.
"Clever trap," Nefarious murmured. "Not what any of us were expecting. I want to meet this Croid now...pickle his brain."
"You mean...pick his brain, right?" Twilight asked nervously.
Nefarious blinked. "Oh...right. Forgot I'm a hero this time around...somehow. Pickling brains isn't socially acceptable, is it?"
"No, not really," Alister chided as the group descended past waves of ion turrets.
"I have so much to learn," Nefarious murmured softly.
"I was there not so long ago myself!" Qwark proclaimed proudly. "Trust me, if I can master Friendship, you certainly can!"
"Well of course!" Nefarious countered. "Not sure I want to learn this 'Friendship', but..."
"Does that mean you're my Friendship student?" Twilight asked eagerly, the concept appealing to her immensely for some reason.
Nefarious smiled almost beatifically as they touched down. "Teach me, sempai?" he pleaded.
Alister and Qwark facepalmed as Twilight giggled.
(1) Qwark here is referring incorrectly to the Japanese phrase that, roughly translated, states, "Even monkeys fall from trees", which is used to express that even an expert in something might screw up completely every now and then. ...of course, if one considers his expertise to be stupidity...
The four carefully made their way through the mechanical tunnels they found themselves in, carefully evading the ion turret defensive grids that blocked the path initially. There did not appear to be any actual hostile robots guarding the paths at first. However, as they moved, another message from Croid played on a screen. "Our planet's entire history is a fraud! You're part of it! How could you, Nevo?"
Twilight hesitated as she thought about the words. "...I'm beginning to think claiming I'm a highly evolved Creature would be a bad idea," she murmured softly.
"In that case, just identify yourself," Alister suggested. "From what we've looked up, some of his inventions have been patented, so he must have heard of you at some point. Everyone in the scientific community has."
"I like that plan much better," Nefarious agreed. "If only because it isn't Qwark's."
"Hey!" Qwark complained, making Twilight giggle.
A few more complicated laser deflection puzzles cleared the path further in for the group as they bantered, struggling to keep their spirits up as they became more and more uncertain of what was really going on. It was beginning to sound as though there was something more than what they'd thought so far was going on.
After the last sequence of laser puzzles, the group found yet another secret lab, which they eagerly warped into since they'd collected enough Creatures. "After all," Twilight pointed out, "what better way to prove to Croid we're on his side than to have his secret 'Last Resort' weapon unlocked?"
As they completed the trial within the secret lab, however, they found that they'd only unlocked one leg, leaving one leg left to unlock to acquire the RYNO weapon. This left Twilight more than a little frustrated, but she managed to calm down after a time. "So close..." she grumbled under her breath as the group left the secret lab, to go back to the other secret lab that they presumed Croid was in somewhere.
Taking the other remaining path, the group stepped onto a platform, riding it into the depths of the facility...before tipping on its side and attempting to dump them into a pit of acid, forcing the group to activate their jetpacks to fly upward. "He really likes those trick platforms," Nefarious murmured thoughtfully. "I'll have to keep that in mind, and not just for this mission."
Even as they made their way up the tunnels, things continued to fall towards them, forcing them to evade around broken terrain and the standard spinning blades and flame throwers, both above and below. After a great deal of time and nervous flight, a platform closed under them, leaving swingshot targets to launch them higher.
"I hope we're close," Alister murmured, rubbing a bit of soot from the tip of his tail. "We're getting a few too many close calls."
"Well, this Launch Target will fling us...to another Launch Target," Nefarious pointed out as he scanned upward. "And from there to a Spin Target, before bouncing us to a Versa-Crank elevator. So...maybe?"
"Only one way to find out!" Qwark proclaimed as he lifted his Swingshot.
After passing those obstacles, the elevator took them to a calm area that left them unmolested, with a single door leading out. After snatching up a few Creatures, the group made their way to the door, and made their way through along a narrow dirt path. This led them across another metal path, leading to a wide open area where a large lab could be spotted in the distance.
Nefarious frowned as he stared at that. "We'd best be careful," he murmured softly. "After everything we've been through, there's no telling what could be waiting for us. We need a careful plan of attack-"
"CAPTAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN QWARRRRRRRK!" Qwark shouted out, charging along the path and punching the enemy robots off the bridge and into the pit.
Nefarious narrowed his eyes angrily as Alister and Twilight shared a laugh. "He did that just to piss me off, didn't he?" he demanded as they followed.
Much to Nefarious' frustration, Qwark's heedless charge actually proved to be effective, smashing his way through the last few defenses and clearing the path for the others. With that done, he waited for the others to catch up, so they could actually tell him what all the information on the computer screens meant.
Alister rubbed his chin as he read some of the information. "Planet...Toranux?" he asked curiously, examining the screen.
Twilight's ears perked up as she heard someone mumbling in the distance. "Tricilloscope shows an increase in thermal-kinetic output around the anterior cingulate cortex..." As she raced towards the voice, the others followed. "...confirming my hypothesis that the answer is in the rocks! They can't survive outside, so they need vessels!" Dr. Croid seemed to be studying a creature...while wearing a tinfoil hat.
Twilight and Alister backed away from him slowly. "I'm not saying he's insane..." Alister murmured softly. "He might well be onto something with what he's talking about, given our theories about dealing with some sort of energy-based entities...but he's plainly insane. I don't think introducing you is a good idea."
"Probably," Twilight nodded in agreement. "If I'm not mistaken, it looks like contact with the Creatures helps expand neural capability...and prolonged separation results in partial neural collapse, as the artificial boost vanishes."
Qwark shivered. "Yeah...not a pleasant notion."
"If you three are done!" Nefarious snapped from a nearby console, drawing attention. "I have something. Ephemeris uses a versatron energy dock to recharge its power cells. It emits a high frequency sonar ping to prevent ships from flying into it."
"Then we can use that to triangulate the location of the charging dock!" Twilight called out, racing to his side.
"Already done!" Nefarious crowed. "It's on the Vilerog Plateau!"
"Nicely done, Doctor!" Twilight praised, bumping her hoof against his clenched knuckles. She spent time typing away. "And it looks like there's another rocket here we can use to get straight there! It's even already got the destination programmed in!"
"Then what are we waiting for?" Qwark cried out. "Let's go!"
Unfortunately for the group, the shuttle back to Magnos was entirely on auto-pilot, and thus was unable to redirect its path when Ephemeris passed by. One of Ephemeris' grasper tendrils knocked the shuttle off its path, causing it to instead crash into an icy region of the planet known as the Polar Sea, a good ways away from their actual destination.
Thankfully, the shuttle's crash protocols were well designed, and no one actually got injured from the crash. Once everyone was upright, Twilight accessed her comms. "Dad, we need directions," she spoke up. "Which way to Vilerog Plateau?" She waited for a response, but none came. "Dad? Mom? Aphelion? Anybody?"
"Something's jamming communication signals," Nefarious spoke up as he approached. "You won't be able to get through."
"But..." Twilight began worriedly. "But..." Tears started to appear in her eyes, freezing in the icy wind.
"Don't worry, Twilight!" Qwark proclaimed reassuringly. "We'll be alright! We just need to get to a more equatorial region, and I know how to do it!"
"Really?" Alister demanded waspishly. "How?"
Smiling, Qwark pulled out a compass and waited for it to lock onto north. He then carefully moved around until he was going East or West, walking back and forth while watching the compass needle. "Alright, the pole's over there," he declared, pointing in one direction, "so we go that way!" He firmly pointed in the opposite direction before marching off.
"How do you know?" Nefarious demanded, getting up in Qwark's face.
"At the magnetic poles of a world, every direction is North," Qwark explained logically. "So I just determined from the compass needle which way the pole was by how the needle shifted, and am going the other way!"
"Stop being so smart!" Nefarious complained angrily.
Giggling, Twilight turned in the direction Qwark pointed. "Well, we don't know what else to do...so let's go!"
Qwark's deduction appeared to be accurate, as the path that revealed itself proved to be guarded by Minion robots, including a new variety armed with flamethrowers. Once past the first such robot, the group made their way across freezing cold water by leaping on chunks of ice that floated out. The cold made it almost impossible for Twilight to fly, drastically reducing her maneuverability. As her magic also became harder to draw on as ice formed on her horn, she was forced to rely more and more on the others. However, they were able to handle things quite easily, and took turns carrying her when that became necessary.
After a time, they found themselves riding a sequence of ice chunks that broke away to float along the surface of the water, steering them by distributing their weight to the corners of the ice blocks. Each trip was thankfully short, and mostly guided by the currents. As they continued, they managed to spot a building in the distance.
"Looks like a collector outpost," Alister deduced as he examined the building through a farviewer. "We might be able to get a ride to Vilerog from there."
"Then we should get there as soon as we can," Twilight confirmed. "Before I freeze my feathers off." She squeaked as Nefarious scooped her up. "What are you-" Her words were cut off as warmth flooded her body, melting the ice from her feathers and horn. "Ah...how'd you do that?"
"Just briefly redirected the heat exhausts of my robotic systems," Nefarious explained. "Thought it would help."
"It does..." Twilight murmured, relaxing in the warmth.
Before long, the group found their path blocked by a large group of heavily armed Minion bots that continued to drop down on distant ice flows. As the wave continued, Nefarious eventually became frustrated. "This is ridiculous!" he cried out. Shoving Twilight into Alister's grip he turned to Qwark. "Throw me!"
Not about to question, Qwark picked Nefarious up, spun around, and hurled him like a javelin at one of the large Minion bots. Nefarious grabbed hold of its dome, ripped it open, and began messing with its circuitry, making it fire on its own allies. This made the rest of the battle pass much more rapidly.
"Good thinking there, Doctor," Alister complimented as they caught up to him.
"Talk later, move now," Nefarious growled, scooping up Twilight to keep her warm again.
After a brief trip on a slowly dissolving ice flow, the group came across a new hostile life form, massive creatures that looked like a blue cross between a gorilla and a bear, with thin wings on its back called a Grungoth. As they lunged to the attack, Alister spoke up. "I think the Grungoths are hungry..."
Grinning widely, Qwark reached into a pocket, pulled out some tablets, and tossed them accurately into the Grungoths' mouths. The Grungoths snapped them up, paused, then turned and walked away.
"What...?" Nefarious began in confusion.
"Snowball's ration pills," Qwark explained, showing them off. "Twilight made them. I figure if they can fill up a mecha-War Grok..."
Nefarious and Alister both shuddered as they remembered that particular 'pet' of Qwark and Twilight's, causing Twilight and Qwark to giggle and chuckle respectively.
As they made their way further forward, a message reached their communicators. "Twilight, can you hear me?" Ratchet's voice came through, somewhat scratchy.
"Dad?" Twilight gasped out eagerly. "Dad?"
Static was the only response for a bit, showing that the signal still didn't quite make it through. Then Ratchet's voice continued. "Look, if any of you can hear me, we've got a partial fix on your location, and we're sending down a vendor pod! It should help you..."
The signal cut off, but the vendor pod dropped down in sight. Twilight let out a sigh of relief as the group approached it.
Unfortunately for Twilight's comfort, not only were there no new weapons available at the mobile vendor, its signal was too weak for actual communication with Aphelion given the interference in the area. At best, it was able to send out a confirmation beep that they'd actually found it, and receive one in return.
Thankfully, there weren't any further hostiles in the area, and the rail station they were looking for was directly ahead. The rail and platform, however, were both severely damaged, beyond any capacity for Twilight or Nefarious to repair. "No...we...we were so close..." Twilight whimpered as she sat down heavily.
"We...we could grind the rails?" Alister suggested uncertainly, desperate for something to give them hope.
Qwark, for his part, fell back dramatically to the ground. "This is it for me," he moaned to Nefarious, who bent over him. "The end of President Copernicus Leslie Qwark Sparkle Gyro. I can feel death's icy grip..."
Alister rolled his eyes. "That's probably a tear in your costume," he grumbled to himself.
"Nefarious," he began, looking into the Doctor's robotic eyes. "I'm sorry I pushed you around in high school. You were smart...and I was convinced I was the cool guy, deserving of being at the top of the social order. You...didn't deserve any of that..."
Nefarious glanced away. "I'm...sorry too," he offered finally. "You should know that even as I was wishing the Blaarg would tear you apart limb from limb so I could riverdance around your smoldering squishy carcass..." He paused as he realized just how hostile he was being. Reaching to the side, he picked a wrench up off the ground. "The truth is...most of my hate was because, as bad as you treated me, you at least paid attention...making you the closest thing I had to a friend. And...I suppose now you actually are." He placed the wrench in Qwark's hands.
Qwark gasped happily. "An Intergalactic Tool of Justice Award?" He clung to the wrench tightly, a beatific smile on his face.
"Umm..." the Plumber whispered to Twilight. "Should...I interrupt? I kinda need that wrench to fix the rail platform..."
"I've got a spare," Twilight replied, yanking an identical wrench out of her saddlebags and floating it over to him even as she squeed over Nefarious and Qwark finally making up.
The Plumber chuckled as he walked over to the rail platform as Alister stared at him. "Rule one of dealing with ponies," he told Alister with a chuckle. "Never interrupt emotional moments they're involved or invested in. It's just asking for a buck - or worse - somewhere unpleasant."
"Who are you?" Alister demanded angrily.
"You can call me The Plumber," the Plumber responded readily as he lifted the platform back onto the rail with his bare hand, using his other to forcefully straighten the damaged beam. "I...fix things."
"H-how did you do that?" Alister stammered out. "The tensile strength of that material is-"
"If you tell me, I can't do it," the Plumber replied readily as he popped open a hatch and started tinkering.
Alister started to respond, but decided to classify that under the same heading as Qwark's abilities. "Where did you come from, anyway?"
"The stairs," the Plumber replied, gesturing to a stairwell at the side of an iceberg that seemed to go nowhere.
Alister shook his head, deciding not to try to make sense of any of it anymore. "If you can do all this, why don't you save the day?"
"Not my job," the Plumber replied as he closed the panel. "I'm not a hero, just a repairman. I just fix things, provide unexpected exposition, and occasionally offer cryptic advice to deal with an upcoming threat, and possibly an item needed for a later event that won't otherwise be available. It's up to guys like you four to be the heroes."
As he spoke, Nefarious and Qwark finished their minor reconciliation as Qwark stood up. "So...are we cool?" he asked hopefully.
"Not really," Nefarious countered. "I'm still going to be trying to conquer you as a villain, and I haven't really wanted you dead since the Biolbliterator conflict. It's more like we just resolved our real motivations. So...more lukewarm than cool."
"I'll take that," Qwark agreed happily. He opened his arms wide. "Awkward nemesis hug?"
Nefarious stared at him in consternation. A worried glance towards Twilight showed how excited she was at the idea, and he rolled his eyes. "Awkward nemesis hug," he allowed, spreading his own arms.
The pair carefully wrapped their arms around each other, then patted each other on the back while saying, "Pat, pat."
Twilight squeed happily, rushing forward to hug both of them.
Once the hug broke, the Plumber cleared his throat. "Got the platform all fixed up!" he called out. "It was just a broken versa-fuse the head office heard about."
"I didn't know you could work with versa-fuses!" Twilight called out as the group climbed onto the platform.
"I normally stick to toilet related catastrophes," the Plumber replied easily, "but you know, filling in for a guy. That's just how it is."
Twilight chuckled at that. "Any chance you have any cryptic advice for us for handling...whatever's waiting for us at the other end?"
"Sorry, fresh out of that," the Plumber replied. "All I can do is guarantee that nothing's gonna get in the way of you taking this all the way to Uzo City...which is exactly where you need to go. Good luck."
"But what about the last hidden lab for the last RYNO part?" Twilight asked desperately as the platform began to move.
"It's in Uzo City!" the Plumber called back as they rode away.
"Well...that was fortuitous," Alister observed dryly.
As the transport reached Uzo City, communications with Aphelion opened up again. After Twilight stopped crying in relief, Aphelion spoke up about a discovery she'd made. "I was analyzing the data in Croid's lab...and some of it was a Cragmite children's story. It told the tale of the Loki of Torranux, evil spirits who sought the end of all living things. A Cragmite named Bagog crashed his ship there, and spent years in hiding before he could escape. Once he returned to Reepor, he destroyed the planet with a Class 3 Planet Smasher. I'm not entirely sure what significance this might have-"
"It actually explains everything," Twilight deduced. "The comet fragments we've been encountering must be pieces of Torranux, and the energy entities we suspect are inside the Creatures are the Loki. The only thing it doesn't explain is what their goal in all this is, and why they haven't done more."
"If they're energy beings, they probably need some way of stabilizing themselves so they don't lose cohesion," Nefarious pointed out. "Likely, Torranux had a unique planetary energy field that allowed them to do so naturally...but with the planet destroyed, the comet pieces don't have enough of a field to sustain them. They probably found they could use organic hosts to sustain themselves outside the actual chunks of their own planet."
"And that would explain everything," Alister concluded. "Even Ephemeris collecting powerful creatures. They want stronger hosts...and if they put that extraction device of Croid's in reverse..."
"They could force themselves into a creature and control it, either destroying or forcing out the native psyche!" Qwark gasped out in shock.
"T...that's what they want with me?" Twilight whimpered. "They want...to turn me into a host?" She shivered at the very idea.
"Don't worry, LSBFF!" Qwark proclaimed. "They'll get your body over my dead body!"
"If there's more than one, that's a distinct possibility," Alister grumbled out.
As the platform stopped, allowing the group to make their way across more platforms suspended in the air, the voice of the Stewart distracted them from their concerns. "Attention Minions. An unscheduled railway platform has just arrived from the polar sea. Be on the lookout for interlopers."
"So much for sneaking in," Qwark offered as they proceeded across the platforms forward along the only available path.
"You were heading to Vilerog Plateau, right?" Ratchet spoke up through the communicators. "We've got a visual on it. It's just outside Uzo City, on the opposite end of the ruins from where you entered."
"You have a visual?" Twilight asked, shocked.
"Yeah," Ratchet confirmed. "While we still can't get any closer to the planet yet, we have been able to move around the asteroid field. And if you're right about what's causing all the energy disturbances, we should be able to make it to the surface once you shut down Ephemeris."
"We can hope," Alister offered, moving to take point.
Shortly thereafter, a new device dropped from the sky, emitting a signal that summoned more Collector Minion robots. The Swarm Beacon was easily disabled as long as two of the group could get close to it with Vac U's, however. The next segment of the path proved fun, however, as it involved a series of bounce platforms and different types of Swing targets with no break between. This proved to be relaxing for the entire group, which they desperately needed.
While more robots continued to attack, the team tactics the group had developed continued to enable them to trounce the assaulting forces with ease. This left only the gadgets they needed to activate - or reactivate - to allow them to progress further through the city. A few Fongoids were scattered around, lamenting what the city had been like before it was destroyed. Unable to do anything for them, the group could only make their way forward.
After a time of more seemingly endless waves of attacking robots, they were confronted by another giant flamethrower wielding mech. It immediately made a wall of fire in front of itself before attacking them from behind it. As she evaded the attacks, Twilight watched it thoughtfully.
"Got a special plan?" Nefarious asked curiously.
"Actually, I'm trying to determine what method it uses to ignite its fuel supply," Twilight explained.
"Looks like it's a specific chemical interaction at the nozzle point," Nefarious explained before rattling off a few chemical formulae. "Why?"
Twilight grinned widely as her horn glowed. "Because if I know that..."
The entire mech exploded as its entire fuel tank ignited all at once.
"I love the smell of giant explosions in the morning!" Qwark proclaimed happily. "Or anytime, really," he added thoughtfully. "Except at dinner. Then I'd rather smell food."
"...you ruined it," Nefarious grumbled. "You had a cool line going, and you ruined it. Great job."
"Sorry," Qwark replied contritely. "It's been a while since I had a movie role, so I'm out of practice with sounding epic. For politics it's better to be more down to earth and sound relatable. It was really hard for me to learn that!"
"I'm surprised you managed to learn anything, you miserable incompetent oaf!" Nefarious snapped out.
"How about some new insults?" Qwark challenged playfully.
Once Qwark stopped trying to puzzle out the insult, the group continued making their way through the city. As they progressed, they encountered nothing new in terms of enemies or obstacles, only in how they were put together to create new challenges. However, despite the best efforts of the Minion bots to delay them, the group of four was able to deal with each combination as it presented itself to them.
At the top of an elevator, however, something far more interesting awaited them: a sixth secret lab entrance. "EEEEE!" Twilight squealed happily as she saw they had collected enough Critters to access it. "Yes yes yes yes yes!" She raced up to the warp pad, and the rest of the group followed with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
As expected, the lab contained yet another puzzle test for guiding a critter through tubes to the end, this one the longest and most complex of them all. However, working together, the group was able to get the critter safely to the end. At that point, the completed mecha was displayed, and Dr. Croid's voice could be heard. "Congratulations, volunteers. You've passed the final test. You are just the kind of candidates I've been waiting for. As a reward for your steadfast participation in our program, I would like to offer you a field test of my latest weapon. The original design was sold to me by a weapons magnate, but I managed to make a few...improvements."
The actual mechs appeared, awaiting their pilots, as the voice continued. "I present to you the RYNO 6 Protosuit. High velocity arm cannon, trillium shell, and a hacked Grummel-net smartchip that allows it to multiply its power exponentially when other Protosuits are in use. With this weapon, Nevo and his collectors won't stand a chance."
Twilight bounced up and down eagerly as the long awaited weapon approached. "This is going to be so exciting!"
The lab then shifted, placing the group in a simulated area to allow them to test out the RYNO Protosuits, the auto-canons devastating the Minion bots sent in to be tested on. The hacked smartchip created an FTF effect that unleashed a devastating wave of electrical energy similar to the effect of the Rynocerator, except that it destroyed any lower level hostile.
Within the sim lab, the Protosuits had infinite ammo. However, once out of the lab, Qwark discovered something somewhat unpleasant. "Wait...only 12 shots? That's less than three seconds of auto-fire!"
"With how frequently we encounter those ammo replenish points," Nefarious pointed out, gesturing to the nearest such one, "I think we'll be fine. It's not like we don't have even more weapons to fill in the gaps."
"But...absolute devastation!" Qwark whimpered pathetically. "It's so much fun!"
Nefarious gave him the fish eye. "Are you sure you're a hero?"
"I'll see about tweaking these in a bit," Twilight offered. "For right now, let's keep going."
"Actually, the ammo limit might not be that big a deal," Alister pointed out. "The Protosuit's also equipped for melee combat, and can do an impressive amount of damage by punching. The maneuverability is impressive as well, with the secondary jump jets."
"Definitely plenty to play with..." Twilight purred before putting her Protosuit away.
Before long, the group reached a wide square platform made up of smaller square platforms. Once they reached it, the bridge to it pulled back. "Here come the waves," Alister groaned as the predicted waves of Minion bots attacked. As the waves continued, however, the smaller platforms began to crumble, decreasing the space the group had to fight on.
"That's...worrisome," Twilight murmured, her wings fluttering nervously.
"A stronger word might be appropriate for those of us without wings," Alister pointed out firmly.
Thankfully, the last of the enemies was destroyed long before the platform fully crumbled, at which point a sequence of rail platforms began to race by at the opposite side. "Launch over!" Twilight called out.
With quick acting, the Vac-U's were used to launch the group across to the same platform together, at which point the platforms stopped moving, letting the group make their way to the one in front, where a Spin target awaited them. Once launched, they reached the edge of the city...and in the distance, Ephemeris was visible.
"There it is," Twilight murmured softly as she stared at it. "Ephemeris. Which means this is Vilerog Plateau."
"We're finally here..." Qwark murmured softly.
"This nonsense is almost over and done with," Nefarious grumbled under his breath, eager to finish up so he could start making preparations for Friday.
Alister narrowed his eyes, seeing three figures in the distance. "...isn't that Susie?" he gasped out in shock.
"What?" Twilight yelped, quickly rushing forward.
As Alister had deduced, Susie waited at the edge of the cliff above the Plateau, planning an assault on Ephemeris with her two friends. "What are you doing here?" Qwark demanded in surprise.
"Leading an assault!" Susie proclaimed proudly.
The four glanced at each other, trying to figure out the best way to approach this. None of them wanted to see this little girl charging into danger, but none of them wanted to crush her emotionally either. Finally, Alister stepped forward.
"Susie," he spoke up softly. "I know well the pain of losing someone central to your life...and I know how it can lead you into doing reckless things, trying to do anything you think might make some of the pain go away. But that's not the way to handle it."
Susie lowered her head, not sure what to do now.
Alister rubbed his chin for a time. "But you wouldn't want them to be disappointed in you, would you?" he mused. "How about you three guard this spot for us? Make sure nothing gets out?"
"You mean guard the perimeter?" Susie gasped out.
"Exactly," Alister confirmed. "Don't move from your post until the mission is complete. Understood?"
"Sir yes sir!" Susie proclaimed, saluting. Her friends saluted as well.
Alister retruned the salute before leading the group towards the Plateau, the three kids staying where they were left.
"You're surprisingly good with kids," Twilight mused, making Alister rub the back of his head, flustered.
Once in the Valley itself, the path seemed to come to a halt, however, a launcher was nearby, aimed towards a rail track that seemed to go straight to the charging dock. "Are we all ready?" Twilight asked cautiously.
"Ready!" Qwark proclaimed eagerly.
"Ready," Alister added, more subdued.
"As I'll ever be," Nefarious growled out, grumbling as the group stepped onto the launcher.
As expected, the launcher propelled them to the rail track, and Alister, Qwark, and Nefarious immediately began grinding down it as Twilight hovered along beside them. When the rail track came to an end, there was still a ways to go, but an uplink pod landed nearby. Knowing there weren't any new weapons to buy, the group continued on, making their charge to the final stage of their long struggle here.
With their full arsenal at their disposal, nothing that was sent against them stood for long, and ammo replenishment points occurred frequently enough that they never actually ran out of ammo. By saving the RYNO Protosuit's firepower for the larger mechs, they were able to carve through those fights swiftly and easily.
As they progressed, an unexpected assist arrived in the form of Commander Spog, carrying a massive glass canister. "Greetings interlopers," he said warmly as he came to a halt with the capsule in the path. "Your friends in the sky inform me you wish to speak with the Master. I am here to facilitate an introduction."
The group paused, glancing at each other as they considered this. Eventually, Qwark spoke up. "Well, Mom and Dad sent him," he offered. "I think that makes it safe."
"That sounds about right," Twilight agreed.
Alister glanced around at the surroundings. "We're at a dead end without his help," he mumbled.
"Let's just go already," Nefarious growled out. "We're running out of daylight! It'll be tomorrow before we know it!"
"Yes, yes, no lollygagging," Commander Spog insisted as the group approached. Once they were inside the capsule, he began guiding it downward as he spoke to them. "I assure you I mean you no harm. I decided to retire early." He then floated back as the capsule was carried away on a track.
Spog floated in front of them, gesturing to where they could see any number of cages and crates shipping back and forth. "Amazing, isn't it? Over 22,000 predators have passed through these walls since Ephemeris was created, each one cataloged and studied." He sighed regretfully. "It's unfortunate that the Master wishes to use them for such a dark endeavor...but I suppose that's just his nature."
As the capsule took a different path, Spog waved farewell. "Goodbye, interlopers. Should the Master fail to kill you, do me one small favor?"
"Depends on the favor," Qwark began nervously.
"Destroy that annoying Stewart!" Spog growled out.
Twilight giggled. "I think we can manage that!" she called out as they moved away from him.
"I like him," Nefarious murmured softly. "If retirement gets boring for him, I think I'll find a place for him in my forces. I could use a General or two."
As the capsule stopped and let them out, Nefarious paused. "I'm picking up a massive energy spike up ahead," he mumbled worriedly.
"That must be the core!" Twilight squealed out. "We're almost home!" She started to race ahead.
"Twilight, wait!" Qwark called out, leading the charge to race after her.
At the end of the long hallway they raced along, an elevator awaited them. "Anyone else suspicious of elevators after all this?" Qwark asked nervously.
"Yes," the other three chorused instantly.
"Still the only way forward, though," Twilight pointed out, climbing onto the platform. The others climbed on after her.
Once all four were on, the platform rose straight up, unhindered by anything and not triggering any traps. It finally came to a halt directly across from a massive platform visible in the distance, a swing target zip line bridging the gap. As they rode the zip line as a group, it carried them out to a massive chamber. Large chunks of crystal glowing blue and very dark purple, energy inside swirling and pulsing.
"So...massive chunks of Torranux?" Twilight suggested nervously.
"Chock full of Loki spirits waiting for vessels," Nefarious confirmed as they approached the platform, dropping down right behind Nevo, who was huddled there, waiting for something.
Nevo spun as they approached. "How did you get in here-" He gasped out in shock at the sight of Twilight. "You have to get her out of here! If he manages to get ahold of her, he'll be unstoppable!"
"Oh how quaint," a cultured voice spoke up as a pod lowered down. "The heroes arrive at the last minute to save the day. Truly, this never gets old." The pod spun, revealing the cat-like creature known as Mr. Dinkles, but plainly not a pet. "Do you really think you have what it takes to stop me?"
"Rather easily," Twilight growled out as she charged energy into her horn.
"No!" Nevo shouted out, tackling her to the ground and knocking out the spell she was charging. "The Loki's energy nature can travel along existing energy channels! If you try to grasp him with your magic, it'll be able to use the Protomorphic Energy Extraction formula to force the two of you to swap bodies!"
As the others gasped out in shock, 'Mr. Dinkles' shot Nevo a glower. "It seems you aren't quite as cowed as I thought. A pity. Still, I suppose that would have been too easy. Torranux will still rise again, and you four will be naught but stepping stones." He grinned widely as he laced his fingers together. "Still, I don't need to tell you all that. You've put it all together already. It's so much more fun fighting smart heroes...they're so predictable."
Alister suddenly gasped in shock. "That's why the Cragmites were trying to eliminate all forms of life above a certain size or complexity. They were trying to eliminate anything your people could use as vessels off your destroyed homeworld, so you couldn't spread."
"As I said, smart heroes are much more fun than dumb ones," the spirit in the feline purred. "So, now that all the dirty laundry's aired out...shall we begin?"
As 'Mr. Dinkles' floated away in his pod, he chuckled. "Let's start off with the Collector Minions, shall we?" he called out. "Not my own design, but still useful. And don't think you can just brush them away with a spell, little pony. This close, I can establish the link through any of them-"
"Fireball!" four robotic voices called out as four Zurkon the Beardeds immediately launched their spells, the energies combining into a massive flaming explosion that erased the Collector Minions.
"Doesn't work if the ones casting the spell don't have an ethereal consciousness for you to swap with, does it?" Alister pointed out with a wide smirk.
A snarling hiss was the only response as the possessed cat's shielded pod dropped back down, bristling with weaponry. "Must I do everything myself?" he demanded angrily. "What does it take to get competent help these days?"
"Charisma, intelligence, a steady wage," Nefarious listed off. "And failing that, being amusing enough they stick around to see what happens. Pretty sure Lawrence sticks with me half because he enjoys getting to smack me every time I lock up in rage and start playing clips of soaps."
"Hey!" Qwark complained angrily. "Inexplicable self awareness is my scthick this trip! Get your own!"
"You will not ignore me!" Mr. Dinkles roared out as he began launching lasers at the group, only for all of them to pull out their Reflectors and send the beams right back at him, overloading his shield. "You will take me seriously! I will bring the universe to its knees! I am the ruler of the Loki, and-"
"We've heard it all before," Alister interrupted. "It's nothing new to us. For you, the day you fought the Sparkle-Gyro clan will be the greatest - and last - day of your life. For us, it's..." His voice trailed off, and he turned to the others. "Is it Tuesday or Wednesday? I'm having trouble keeping track at this point."
"Your hoverthrone has been damaged," the Stewart spoke up.
"I know you insufferable-"
An endless barrage of missiles and other weaponry slammed into the hoverthrone, the combined arsenal enough to severely damage its hoverjets. "You really should pay more attention to the battle," Twilight offered helpfully. "I mean, if this is so important to you..."
An inarticulate scream of rage ripped its way out of the cat's throat. "Stewart! Bring up the Grivelnox! We're moving up the time table!"
"Searching database," Stewart responded as mechanical tendrils snaked out of the ceiling. "Match found. Grivelnox, apex predator of Rykan V, capable of enhancing its abilities by absorbing the abilities of the creatures it digests."
A massive glass capsule was lifted over the platform. Inside was a massive reptilian creature reminiscent of the kaiju of old Earth science fiction, a black-blue carapace with red markings covering most of its body with armored limbs curled tight around itself.
"Oh...that could be a problem," Twilight murmured worriedly.
"Indeed," 'Mr. Dinkles' hissed, activating the controls for the Protomorphic Energy Extractor. "I'd meant to use you as my vessel, but failing that, I can simply use the Grivelnox and eat you! Then I will have your powers as well, without having to worry about your meddlesome consciousness getting in the way-"
"Get away from them!" Dr. Croid shouted out as he leapt from the machinery above, catching hold of the hoverthrone.
Twilight and the others stared as the hoverthrone spun from the imbalance Croid's grip caused, eventually sending Mr. Dinkles flying to the main platform. Noticing the danger he was in, he began to race towards a big red button in the center.
"Don't let him turn it on!" Nevo called out warningly.
Snapping out of their stunned shock, the group raced forward...but it was too late. Mr. Dinkles cackled as his paws slammed down on the button, and an energy beam lanced out from an emitter. A strange purple-black ethereal shape was sucked out of the cat-like being, pulled into the emitter. The cat-like creature looked up at the group with a confused expression and meowed.
The creature wound up in a capsule that was hooked to the one containing the Grivelnox, and the Loki spirit - for that was obviously what it was now - was pumped through into the other capsule, where it plunged into the beast. The Grivelnox opened its eyes and burst out of the capsule, roaring in fury.
"This...is not good," Nefarious murmured worriedly.
Qwark stepped up in front of the creature. "No!" he proclaimed angrily. "Bad Mr. Dinkles, bad!"
The Grivelnox let out a roar that sent Qwark flying back to the group from the air pressure alone. It then stabilized itself on the platform, limbs ending in squid-like clubs gripping as it hefted itself up to glower down at the gathered heroes. Blazing purple light shone from every hole in its body.
"Did you really think that was going to work?" Alister demanded irritably as Qwark got up.
Qwark rubbed the back of his head and shrugged. "Uh...yes?"
"So...does anyone have a plan to deal with this thing now?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"Don't let it eat you," Nefarious stated bluntly.
"Well, I got that," Twilight replied. "I meant, beyond that?"
"Blow it up," Nefarious continued.
"...nothing more complex than that?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"Have you ever had anything more complex going after me?" Nefarious inquired.
"...valid point," Twilight allowed.
"What about the fact they have all these monsters with various abilities throughout this collector drone that it could just eat to get all new powers to fight us with?" Qwark asked curiously. "Do we have a plan for that?"
Nefarious turned and glowered at Qwark. "The plan was not reminding it about all that," he snarled irritably. "Congrats on blowing that."
As the two doctors fled along with the no longer possessed Mr. Dinkles, Twilight and the others braced themselves to do battle with the Grivelnox. The group immediately began attacking with the more powerful mundane weapons of their arsenal - concerned that using the magically enhanced ones might result in the Loki getting a bead on Twilight's magical frequency - but they found this only somewhat effective against the density of its armor plates or its sheer bulk. It quickly became apparent that despite the beast's limited offensive capabilities - it could only attack by swinging its tentacles at them - it was still a very effective vessel for the Loki.
"Don't worry!" Qwark called out as he noticed the others starting to flag. "There's plenty of ammo here! It'll go down eventually, and it doesn't have anything that can move fast enough to hit us!"
The Grivelnox glowered at Qwark for a moment, then seemed to smirk. Reaching over, it grabbed a large glass capsule containing a Wigwump - similar to the one they'd encountered in the forest - and dumped it into its mouth, devouring the creature and gaining the Wigwump's ability to breathe fire, as well as an ability to spit out burning creatures of some sort.
As he noticed the others glowering at him, Qwark deflated somewhat as he kicked one of the creatures off the platform. "Yeah, I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut now."
"Do that," Nefarious snapped out angrily.
As the group unloaded as much weaponry as they could, they quickly found that the flow of battle had changed. With the new fire abilities, the Grivelnox had a much more versatile arsenal of its own, forcing the group to be far more careful to avoid getting charred, and there were several close calls. On the other hand, the heat inside the creature weakened the armor somewhat, so the impacts of the groups rockets inflicted a great deal more damage.
Eventually, the Grivelnox withdrew. Before the group could pursue, another capsule was shattered, letting another dangerous creature loose to attack the group. "Destroy it before the Grivelnox can eat it!" Alister called out, quickly leading the attack.
With the concerted assault, it didn't take long before the creature went down...but it was to be replaced by another, and then another. By the time the creatures were dealt with, the reason for the delay tactics became apparent. The Grivelnox returned, grabbing another capsule. Inside was the Light Eating Z'grute that had brought them all upon this adventure initially, and the Grivelnox devoured it before their very eyes, despite the Z'grute's desperate struggles to survive. As the group watched, the red glow within the Grivelnox turned to blue, and an electric shockwave burst forth from its body, overloading a great deal of nearby machinery. It then opened its mouth wide and sucked in all the electrical energy dancing around the platform, fully regenerating its body.
"Well, that's not good," Twilight murmured softly. "It can regenerate itself endlessly as long as there's energy to devour now...and Ephemerus has a regenerating power core! As long as its inside here, it has access to limitless energy!"
"Then our only option is to get the Loki out of it," Nefarious concluded. "The Loki doesn't strike me as the sort to care about its victims, so the Grivelnox' own mind was probably erased when it took possession. If we can force it out, the Grivelnox will die, and the Loki as well as long as we can keep it from taking a new host!"
"On it!" Dr. Croid called out from a nearby floating platform. "Nevo, you've worked with this machine for years. You must know how to use it against him!"
"I can activate the Extractor," Nevo confirmed, "but it'll only work if he's standing still long enough to get a lock. You'll have to stun and trap him somehow."
Twilight quickly spun to look for a way to do that. As she did, the Grivelnox reared.
In Nefarious' mind, he felt everything come to a halt. He saw what was going to happen if no action was taken. Apparently, the Grivelnox had also absorbed a lashing tongue from something it had eaten while waiting for the Z'grute, and was about to lash out with that tongue, seize Twilight, and devour her. Due to the nature of the Grivelnox' saliva, as soon as it came in contact with her biological body, she'd suffer complete cellular collapse, allowing the Grivelnox to digest her and absorb her abilities without concern for any attempts she might make to fight back, as that would be impossible.
Within Nefarious mind, scenarios played out as he tried to find ways to prevent Twilight from being devoured. The first was calling a warning.
"Twilight, watch out!"
"What?" Twilight turned and saw the tongue. Shrieking in desperation, she drew forth her magic to protect herself. As the tongue came in contact with the magical fields, the Grivelnox fell dead and the magic faded. Twilight then turned, her eyes changed. The Loki laughed from her lips. "Thank you for that, Doctor," the Loki purred as Twilight's body took on the shape of her Nightmare, Dark Star. "This vessel is much more efficient..."
Seeing how the scenario would play out, it was immediately rejected. He considered trying to shoot the Grivelnox' tongue.
"Not on my watch!"
The rounds went flying. The tongue wrapped around the missiles, slamming them into Twilight's side. She screamed in pain, and was devoured.
The scenario was rejected. A third was considered, grabbing her and pulling her back.
Nefarious dragged Twilight back, digging his heels into the smooth platform as he struggled to keep her from being pulled in. She clung to him desperately...only to scream in pain and terror as electricity raced down the tongue into both of them, breaking their grip on each other before Alister and Qwark could come to their aid. The jaw came down around Twilight-
The scenario was rejected. A fourth possibility was considered, throwing himself in the path.
Nefarious screamed as he was pulled into the Grivelnox' mouth. The saliva did not work on his roboticized body, and he was able to use his laser chainsaw to cut off the tongue before he was crushed by the muscles of the jaw. He died, but the damage to the inside of the Grivelnox' mouth meant that it wouldn't be able to eat anything else for several hours, more than enough time for the others to finish it off. It would not be able to eat Twilight.
The scenario was selected.
"Watch out, Twilight!" Nefarious called out, diving between her and the lashing tongue. He felt it wrap around his body as he was dragged towards its mouth.
"Doctor!" Twilight shrieked out, starting to gather her magic.
"No!" Nefarious screamed out. "If you touch it with your magic it will take your body!" He watched as her fear turned to despair and the magic faded. Turning away, he watched as the mouth of the Grivelnox opened wide, extending his laser chainsaw. "My only regret is going out like an Agorian," he growled out deep in his throat, "but today is a good day to die!" As he was pulled in, he leveled his blade at the base of the tongue.
Before the jaw could fully close, the entire Grivelnox shook, bending at the middle from a heavy impact. Staring out of the hanging jaw, Nefarious goggled as he spotted Qwark, pulling back a single fist. "You do not!" he roared out, leaping into the air and delivering a kick to the Grivelnox' head that sent it careening across the platform, tongue lolling out as it was left completely stunned. "Make my LSBFF cry!" Qwark concluded firmly. Stomping forward, he grabbed the tongue and ripped it in half, pushing Nefarious away now he was free. "Nefarious, I still don't like you personally, but you are Twilight's first prospective boyfriend, and for nearly throwing your life away to save hers, you officially have BBBFF dating approval!"
Nefarious blinked for a time, stunned beyond belief. "Uh...thanks?" he offered in confusion, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that yes, he had just tried to do a cliche heroic sacrifice and yes, he now had to live with knowing he'd made the attempt. "But I don't think it'll stay stunned long with its tongue ripped in half..." In fact, the Grivelnox was already starting to thrash.
"I've got it!" Qwark proclaimed as he leapt forward, catching the Grivelnox in a full nelson and immobilizing it. "Shoot, Docs!"
Nefarious stared. His scientific knowledge proved at war with his senses, as there was no way Qwark should have even been able to put the Grivelnox in a full nelson hold when one of its limbs was bigger than his entire body, let alone actually immobilize the creature in that manner. Finally, he closed and covered his optics, not wanting to deal with it.
"But..." Nevo called out worriedly. "But if we miss, we might rip your soul from your body!"
"Then don't miss!" Qwark called back.
"Do it!" Alister ordered.
The Protomorphic Energy Extractor activated, the beam locking onto the Grivelnox as it started pulling the Loki out. Nefarious and Alister rushed forward, using their Vac-U's to help extract the spirit. As it became visible, Twilight activated her RYNO Protosuit and unleashed its full payload, shattering the spirit's grip on the Grivelnox.
Qwark released the now dead behemoth. "Well, that takes care of that-" he began, brushing his hands against each other.
With a roar, the Loki lunged for Qwark, only for Nefarious to leap between them and backhand it to the platform, where it lost all cohesion and dissolved. "For once you're right, Qwark," he stated bluntly. "Nobody makes Twilight cry on my watch, either." He blinked in shock as Twilight glomped onto him, squealing happily. "Uh...?"
"Say cheese!" Susie called out, positioning herself with her camera.
"Cheese!" the gathered group responded, some with more enthusiasm than others. After the Loki that had been free dissipated, things were swiftly resolved. The friendship between the two doctors was quickly restored, though they both had a long way to go to recover from what the Loki had put them through. The two of them stood to the left in the picture, both smiling. Qwark held Nefarious under one arm, eager to establish a friendship between them now that he seemed to be turning over a new leaf. Nefarious was tolerant of Qwark's enthusiasm, mostly because Twilight was still clinging to his side, smiling up at him. Alister stood off to the other side, looking rather harried as he stared at the overgrown children he was stuck minding. He desperately hoped Aphelion got down to the surface with the others soon.
As the two doctors embraced, Qwark addressed Nefarious. "Nefarious, old friend...you gotta admit: the sight of two dudes just hugging it out warms the cockles of your mechanical heart, huh?" He gently nudged the robotic doctor, hoping to elicit a positive reaction.
Nefarious glared up at Qwark. "That is, without a doubt, the most pathetic attempt at subtly soliciting a bro hug I have ever seen. Besides, we already had our Awkward Nemesis Hug. Only one per mission!"
Qwark gasped happily. "You mean you'll consider going on another mission with me?"
"No, I'll consider assisting Twilight in hero work against a villain who is neither me nor my ally as a way of eliminating my competition should she ask, and I'll tolerate having you along if she insists," Nefarious corrected incisively.
"Good enough for me!" Qwark proclaimed happily, making Nefarious facepalm and Twilight giggle.
With everything seeming to be fixed so that disaster was no longer imminent, Twilight went to the nearest comm rig to send a call. "Twilight to Aphelion, Twilight to Aphelion! Come in everyone!"
"Read you loud and clear, Twilight!" Aphelion responded immediately. "How is everything?"
"We've managed to fix everything again," she replied. "Where's Mom and Dad?"
"They're a bit busy trying to figure out how to get me into the atmosphere without creating an energy field that will allow the Loki still in the crystals to manifest as though the world were Torranux," Aphelion explained. "Apparently, what allowed that was the unique space-time conditions of their homeworld, and my chronometric field will interact with the energies of the planetary fragments scattered across this world, greatly amplifying their energy fields if I get any closer."
Twilight shuddered. "T-then it's a good thing you couldn't get through the asteroid field before," she admitted.
"Actually, it appears that disruption field in the asteroid field was deliberate, specifically to prevent anything with my sort of energy from entering the atmosphere," Aphelion continued. "One of Dr. Croid's devices, apparently."
"So...how are we going to get off planet, then?" Twilight inquired carefully.
"...I'll get back to you on that if we figure something out," Aphelion replied worriedly.
Sighing, Twilight walked over to the others. "Well, it might still be a while before we get off world," she murmured softly.
"Not entirely," Nefarious countered. "I figured Aphelion would have trouble getting down here before all the planet fragments were destroyed and the Loki no longer a threat...so I just finished hacking Ephemeirs' control codes. It should be easy enough to install new command programs, and then anybody could fly it out of here. We already know it's space worthy at least as far as Igliak."
Twilight squealed happily. "Then we can all get out of here together!"
"Not quite," Nefarious corrected. "See, I'm pretty certain Alister over there is going to insist on arresting me, no matter what you and Qwark say."
"True," Alister confirmed.
"I could give you a Presidential Pardon," Qwark offered. "You wouldn't even see jail time-"
"And destroy both his reputation amongst villains and your credibility as a President by pardoning the universe's biggest criminal mastermind just so he can date your little sister," Twilight pointed out sadly. "But...we can't just leave you behind..."
"But I can!" Nefarious declared with a smirking wink. "Figure letting you get salvage rights here will be better than flowers Friday. Lawrence!"
Nefarious promptly vanished as he was teleported away.
"...huh," Qwark murmured, scratching his chin. "Guess he got in contact with Lawrence, who brought their 'old' ship here to pick him up, while you were talking to Aunt Aphelion."
"And now we have no way of catching or controlling him!" Alister snapped out angrily.
Twilight suddenly grinned widely. "Not necessarily," she mused wickedly. Flapping up to Qwark's shoulder, she began whispering in his ear.
A huge grin spread on Qwark's face. "I like it! You'll help me set it all up, and write the invitations?"
"If I might interrupt you sir," Lawrence began diffidently, "there's a message from President Qwark and Vice-President Twilight. It seems official."
"Read it off to me, then," Nefarious grumbled. "Cut out the unimportant diatribe parts, though."
"Very well sir. Let's see..." Lawrence perused the message. "Ah. It appears that there will be a major sporting event spanning several worlds starting Saturday. Some sort of...multi-terrain racing competition. You've been invited to participate."
"And this interests me because?" Nefarious demanded irritably.
"President Qwark will also be participating, and apparently you will be able to pick up weapons along the track to...oh my," Lawrence murmured. "You'll be able to shoot other competitors to get the lead."
"So...a racing competition where I'll be allowed to blow up the competition?" Nefarious asked, becoming interested. "This seems intriguing..."
"Also, the contest will last until the end of the month," Lawrence continued, "and if you promise not to engage in villainous behavior outside the contest until it ends, you will be guaranteed immunity from arrest or prosecution for past crimes during that time, and will be free to return to your base unmolested when it ends. There's also a rather large grand prize in bolts."
Nefarious grinned ear to ear. "YES!" he proclaimed wickedly before cackling madly. "I will be able to humiliate Qwark on intergalactic television, and get away with it!"
Chuckling, Lawrence typed a message to Twilight.
Stage 1 of Operation Bowser, successful.
"Oh, Twilight also sent a personal message for you," Lawrence murmured. "She asks if you're familiar with an anime called...'No Game No Life'?"
"Do we have that one?" Nefarious demanded. "I want to be able to talk about it with her on Friday, among other things."
"Indeed we do," Lawrence confirmed. "I'll load it up on your fifth screen."
Nefarious grinned as he sat back...only to see one of the two main characters - both human - manipulating four characters in an MMO simultaneously, two with his feet. Enraged at seeing a squishy depicted matching robot capabilities, he leapt to his feet to declare his anger. "SOOOOO~RAAAAA-" His dome sparked, and music began playing from it.
I thought love was only found in fairy tales... Meant for someone else, but not for me...
"Ooh, I love this song!" Lawrence commented idly, before singing along as he steered the ship, head and hands bouncing along to the beat.
Twilight shifted nervously as she paced back and forth, waiting for Nefarious to arrive. It was Friday afternoon, almost sunset, and she knew he would arrive soon. She's settled on a rather fancy black sheath dress with matching shoes for the night, her wings folded over it as one of her Nightshadow blossoms she'd gotten back in the Dreadzone - one of the few happy memories of that place - was settled behind her ear, the black petals framing the moon-pale stamens as they shone against her coat. She once more glanced at the clock nervously. It was her first date, after all.
At her request, none of her family would be hovering around when Nefarious arrived. She figured things would be awkward enough without the cliche parental/sibling intimidation, and she actually wanted this to go well. Whether things went to a second date or not, she wanted to enjoy her first one.
A knock at the door startled her out of her reverie. "Coming!" she called out, racing to the door and pulling it open. Once she did, she did her best to hold in her laughter.
Nefarious stood there with a wide smile, wearing what looked to be a very badly fitted dress shirt and tuxedo jacket, both of which hanging loosely around his torso, with flaring sleeves that stopped before they even reached his elbows. He also wasn't wearing any pants. He smiled at her amusement. "You look very nice tonight, Twilight," he offered, a tinge of nervousness in his voice.
"And you look...um...interesting?" Twilight offered, doing her best to keep from laughing in his face. "New fashion statement?"
"Oh, this?" Nefarious asked, tugging at a sleeve. "Not quite. It's for something else. A surprise I wanted to show you face to face."
"Oh?" Twilight asked curiously.
Grinning widely, Nefarious reached up and pressed something on his torso through the clothes, double tapping.
The sound of gears shifting and circuitry altering sounded continuously as Nefarious extended his arms fully to his sides. His arms seemed to collapse in on themselves, bulking up until his wrists were at the edge of the sleeves, which no longer hung loosely but fit properly around the shortened arms. His hands clenched into fists, and metal slipped over them, shaping hooves. His legs shortened similarly as he fell forward, his feet reshaping into hooves as he landed on all fours. His torso bulked up slightly from compression, filling the shirt and jacket as metallic wings extended from his shoulders through cuts in the back of his clothes, extending what looked like living metal feathers before folding against his sides. A slot opened on his cranial dome, and a drill like horn suddenly extended out until it was about the same length beyond the dome as Twilight's was, before sealing itself over with a crystalline coating that resembled the composition of the cranial dome. As the sounds ended, Nefarious stood before her. His cranial structure was unchanged, as though he'd stuck his head...onto a robotic pony body.
"N...Nefarious?" Twilight gasped out in shock.
"Qwark mentioned that...one thing that's always bothered you is feeling as though...you were the only one of your kind," Nefarious explained. "So I thought...at least for tonight, I could be...your stallion?" His expression was nervous and hopeful, showing how much he wanted this to please her and also how terrified he was it would upset her.
Twilight blinked her eyes rapidly to hide her tears. She stepped forward, wanting to embrace the doctor for doing this for her, but found herself instead crossing her neck against his. It felt...natural, and right. "Thank you, Nefarious," she whispered warmly.
"...Mervin," Nefarious corrected.
Twilight stepped back, blinking. "Beg pardon?"
"My first name," Nefarious explained. "It's...why I go by Nefarious. But...I wanted you to know. ...don't tell anyone?"
Twilight giggled to herself. "My lips are sealed," she promised. "Just as long as you don't tease Qwark about his full name being Copernicus Leslie Qwark Sparkle Gyro."
Nefarious burst into shocked laughter. "S-seriously?" he gasped out.
"And I'll tell him your first name is Mervin if you ever tease him about it," she chided intently.
Nefarious sighed. "You drive a hard bargain...but alright."
Twilight took the time then to look over the modifications Nefarious had made to his own body. "I can't believe you did all this...just for me..."
"Oh, this is only the start!" Nefarious insisted. "This way!" Turning, he stood side on to her and extended a wing. He found himself surprised as Twilight readily stepped under it, letting him rest his over her back. It felt similar to putting an arm around shoulders, but the action seemed more like the offering of an arm. Carefully, he led her down the walk to where their transportation waited...and he heard Twilight gasp in amazement again.
Sitting at the edge of the walk was what looked like a carriage straight out of an old fairy tale. Lawrence sat in the drivers seat, and two robotic pegasi colored like Lawrence' chassis were hooked to the front of the carriage, which was sized to creatures Twilight's size. "This is...?" Twilight asked, tears beading her eyes for reasons beyond her comprehension.
"I wanted to give you a piece of your world, as much as I could figure out," Nefarious explained. "Given just how powerful you are, I figured your entire race can't be at that level, or they'd rule the entire universe already. And given just how potent your magical abilities are, if even a small fraction of the population can do that, it would make more sense for your world to develop magical solutions to things rather than technological...which made it sound like a fairy tale medieval setting, with castles...and carriages. So this carriage has the anti-grav generators to let it fly concealed inside...and pulled by LAWR-D robotic pegasi. Given that you seem to be a fusion of mythical pegasi and unicorns, I figured your world would have both and had made contact with ancient Earth and other worlds as the explanations for the myths."
Twilight smiled softly, trying to find something to focus on to stop the inexplicable surge of nostalgia and homesickness overwhelming her. "...LAWR-D?" she asked curiously.
"Oh, that's the best part!" Nefarious called out happily.
"Must you, sir?" Lawrence groaned out sorrowfully.
"I originally planned to convert Lawrence into a pegasus to pull the carriage," Nefarious explained quickly, "but his structure couldn't accept modifications as easily as I could. So instead I built pegasus drones he could remote control. I even let him name them!"
Twilight stifled a giggle. "And he buried his face in his hands and said, 'Oh lordy'?"
Laughing, Twilight patted Lawrence consolingly on the shoulder before letting Nefarious help her into the carriage. "So, where to first?" she asked curiously as the carriage took to the sky, the LAWR-Ds' wings flapping as they entered the hover-traffic, making its way towards the outside of town.
"I thought we'd go dancing," Nefarious suggested casually.
"Like...club dancing?" Twilight asked nervously. "I'm...not so good without a pattern to follow..."
"Ballroom, actually," Nefarious replied as they reached the edge of the settlement. Twilight gasped as a castle rose into view. "As I said, I thought fantasy medieval, so I wanted tonight to give you a piece of home...with dancing in a castle ballroom."
"Oh...Mervin..." Twilight found the feeling of nostalgic homesickness flooding into her yet again. "But...why is the castle jutting out the side of the mountain?"
"It was supposed to be on top, but I didn't want to flatten the peak," Nefarious explained. "Took a bit of technological know how to make it work like that, but it was worth it. Besides, world of magic. Screw physics." He watched her nervously, but the huge grin told him it was the right idea.
As the carriage landed, Nefarious stepped out and guided Twilight into the castle. "Most of it isn't finished yet," Nefarious explained as he led her down a straight path. "I can work on more another time, but I only had a few days to finish this much...and I focused on what would be important for tonight." He led her into the ballroom, with high vaulted ceilings, stained glass windows, and wide staircases leading down to the main floor. In one corner, more robot ponies were dressed in finery around ancient musical instruments: a cello, a harp, and a grand piano. As the pair entered, the robots began to play the music. "I...even managed to transpose a few classic dances to four-legged and midair dancing," Nefarious explained, stepping up to in front of her. "Just...follow my lead?"
Smiling widely, Twilight stepped up, letting Nefarious lead her through dances that felt more and more right with each steps, their necks crossed as they swayed back and forth. The midair dances that followed as they held their forehooves to each other and flapped their wings felt more unfamiliar, but still seemed so right. As the music went on and on, she found that warmth in her chest growing more and more.
I still don't know if it's going to be me, she thought to herself as they swayed together, but if this is the effort he puts to romance regularly...he's going to make someone very, very happy someday.
"Mervin," she spoke up softly finally, "this has been...amazing. Wonderful. I...I just don't know what to say." She smiled warmly. "You've made my first date ever...everything I've could have possibly hoped for."
Nefarious smiled hesitantly. "I'm...sensing a but..."
"No buts," Twilight corrected. "It's been absolutely wonderful. I...admit I wasn't sure this was a good idea, even before you came to the door. There were logical reasons as to why it was a good idea and a bad idea...and I didn't know where my heart stood on the matter." She sighed softly. "I admit...I still don't know if this is really emotional attraction, or just desperation on both our parts to make our one chance at a real romance work out."
Nefarious lowered his gaze, twirling his wine glass in one hoof. "I...didn't really want to think about that aspect myself either," he admitted softly. "But...I have to admit it's a possibility."
"Well...the only way to find out is keep going," Twilight explained. "This is...our ultimate experiment. Two hypotheses, only one can be accurate. We'll just have to find out...is it love, or just loneliness?"
"Well..." Nefarious pondered that for a time. "As long as we find out together, I think it's time well spent." He raised his glass. "To the maddest science of all...romance."
Smiling, Twilight clinked her glass to his before taking a sip. "How'd you manage to duplicate my hoofgrip, anyway?" she asked curiously, hoping it might actually give her some insight into how her own body worked.
Nefarious glanced down, shame in his expression. "Umm...there I had to cheat a little..." he admitted, turning his hoof so she could see how it had reshaped around the glass and extended tiny manipulator claws to grip it.
Twilight giggled happily. "Clever," she praised. A thought struck her, and she grinned wickedly. "Say...have you heard what's said about crazy people in the bedroom?"
Nefarious swallowed nervously. "Uh...yeah?" he asked nervously.
"What say we go back to your place...and find out which of us learns if it's true?" she asked teasingly, lowering her eyelashes suggestively.
A loud clank echoed around the restaurant as Nefarious' lower jaw dropped off his face to land on the table. Twilight burst into uncontrollable giggles.
Saturday dawned clear and bright, to the announcement of a brand new event that would span several weeks, dozens of planets, and three galaxies, as racers from all across the known universe raced against each other on tracks designed to test their mettle. Each galaxy would run its own racing tournament, and the top four of each galaxy after each set of races would race in the final Grand Prix in Polaris. Heroes, villains, and everything in between competed in customized karts for glory, a huge prize in bolts, and the chance to blow each other up repeatedly without consequence. Each race would be on land, underwater, and on tracks across the sky.
In the Polaris initial race, Qwark rode in his custom made kart, colored green as his uniform with his symbol on the front, the design reminiscent of his luxury hover limo in design. Pulling up beside him, Nefarious - once more in his humanoid robotic form - pulled up in a much smaller vehicle that was stripped down for functionality over form, and with a great deal of weapon points and turbo burst valves. Qwark raised his eyebrow at the design of the vehicle. "What? Didn't have time to give it a coat of paint?" he asked teasingly.
Nefarious smirked back. "Nope. Your little sister kept me up all night!" He cackled as Qwark's fists clenched on the wheel. "So why such a large racer? Compensating for something?"
"Don't you think your racer is a little small for this competition?" Qwark snapped back. "In this game, bigger is better."
"That's not what she said!" Nefarious snapped back, cackling as Qwark once more clenched his teeth.
The race itself was no different in form from any other race held in any of the galaxies. Three laps around a diverse course while collecting weapons and other boosters for their vehicles, which is why the engines and weapon systems all had to be standardized to use the pickups. Each race had between eight and twelve racers, depending on how many gathered to that particular planet, and the top half - rounded down if it was an odd number - would move on to the next race on the next planet.
This was the first race in Polaris, with Dalas and Juanita starting their new announcement career as they commented on the carnage here, more civilized than what they'd commented on back in Dreadzone. Of course, in this first race, the big focal point of attention was the rivalry between Qwark and Nefarious, which was why the cameras focused on their racing more than anyone else's.
As they reached the second lap, Qwark slowed down enough to let Nefarious catch up to him, just to taunt him. "Getting a little slow there in your old age, Nefarious?"
Nefarious simply smirked back. "I've got speed when it counts...according to Twilight!" With that, he used a turbo he'd been saving, taking the lead. "You really should have seen that coming by this point!"
Qwark, growling, did his best to keep up, but on the twisting part of the track they were on, Nefarious' smaller vehicle was able to get much too far ahead with its greater drift capability and acceleration.
The races in this first set proceeded in much this way, with Nefarious and Qwark keeping most of the lead on every track, with Nefarious managing to take a lead with maneuverability, smarter use of bonus items along the track, more clever avoidance of hazards, or simply managing to distract Qwark with some quip about what he and Twilight had gotten up to, usually turned in such a way to be insulting to Qwark.
Each time one of these comments made it onto the air, Ratchet and Clank turned from their seats in the stands to glance at Twilight, who would simply giggle and wave it off, apparently finding their interactions quite entertaining. Afterwards, Ratchet would turn his face resolutely back to the race, not certain he wanted to ask the question on his mind.
Finally, the first world's races ended, with Nefarious and Qwark undisputed in first and second place, respectively. "Yes!" Nefarious proclaimed as he drove his kart into the winner's circle for the award ceremony. "The triumph of machine over the squishies is complete!"
"Hey!" Qwark complained angrily. "I'm squishy!"
"That's what she said!" Nefarious shouted back, causing Twilight up in the stands to burst into laughter and making Qwark slam his face against his steering wheel. Nefarious then gingerly climbed out of his kart, walking in an odd bow-legged gait as though he were suffering from some sort of pelvic pain.
"What's wrong?" Qwark asked smugly as he climbed easily out of his kart. "Not enough time to install good suspension?"
"What? My kart's suspension is great!" Nefarious complained. Noticing what Qwark was indicating, Nefarious scratched nervously at his chin. "Oh, my walk? No, that's because of what Twilight did last night."
"...I don't wanna know," Qwark whimpered as he took his spot on second place.
Up in the stands, Ratchet finally turned to Twilight firmly. "Okay, I need to ask now...just what did you two do last night that he keeps referring to? I mean, you didn't come home all night, and he drove you here this morning."
"Yup," Twilight confirmed. "I spent the night with my new boyfriend." She smirked wickedly. "Are you sure you want to know what we did?"
Ratchet swallowed nervously. "Uhh..."
"Only if you can summarize it in five words or less," Clank offered quickly.
"Oh, that's easy," Twilight confirmed, taking a sip from her drink. As Ratchet did likewise, she spoke up, "I gave him a penis."
Ratchet promptly spat his drink all over the three rows in front of him. "W-what?" he gasped out.
"See, the original robotization process the Bio-Bliterator systems were based on was based on a chemical reaction," Twilight elaborated. "While the technological process is a perfect 1 to 1 conversion, the original chemical conversion Nefarious underwent wasn't as thorough, especially when it came to soft tissue construction. All the nerve impulses and software were still there, but the hardware wasn't properly constructed."
"I...see," Clank murmured. "So it was in the nature of a hardware upgrade, then?"
"Yup," Twilight confirmed. "And I figured as long as I was doing that, I could add a few design features not normally found on biological hardware of that nature that were to my interest. While I haven't tested it out yet, I'm really looking forward to the-"
Ratchet promptly clapped his hands over his ears. "Oh god, stop! I can't take any more of this! It's too much!"
"That's what she'll say!" Nefarious shouted up from the first place stand, making Ratchet scream in parental terror.
"Oh...my..." Clank murmured as Twilight burst into giggles.
Twilight stirred slowly from a very comfortable nap. The Galactic Grand Prix had ended a week prior, the entire event a huge success. Not only had the rivalry between Qwark and Nefarious meant major ratings, but between sponsors, investors, merchandise, and broadcast rights, the Universal Government had turned a massive profit even after the huge bolt prize that had been awarded to Nefarious for his first place victory. On top of that, in what Twilight personally considered an even greater success, it had provided plenty of opportunity for her and Nefarious to engage in more normal date/courtship activities. Movies, amusement parks, alfresco dining...it had felt wonderful. The only drawback had been the amount of media attention it had drawn...but surprisingly, Nefarious had dealt with that quite readily. She chuckled softly as she remembered back to that event...
Twilight stared somewhat crosseyed at the ambush reporter that had caught her all unawares to badger her with questions about her relationship with Nefarious. She'd managed to field some of the questions, but others she had trouble understanding. But the one that caught her off guard was when the reporter had asked about 'how far they had gone'.
That had been when Nefarious had leaned in. "Tell me something. What demographic is Twilight Sparkle most popular with?"
The reporter had blinked in surprise, but readily answered. "12 year old or younger boys and girl, and the parents thereof. She's a huge inspiration story for children, and parents love holding her up as a role model."
Nefarious nodded. "And what qualities - other than being adorable, brilliant, and heroic - is she known for the most?"
The reporter listed them off readily. "Her kindness, generosity, loyalty, honesty, and sense of humor." For some reason, hearing those qualities listed together always gave her a sense that she had forgotten something of great importance.
"Let's focus on honesty," Nefarious suggested. "That would seem to suggest that she would answer questions from reporters to the best of her ability, yes? With as much detail as possible, for complete answers?"
"That's right," the reporter confirmed, looking eager.
"And she will," Nefarious confirmed. "If you ask again about what goes on between two super geniuses capable of warping the very fabric of reality and rewriting the laws of physics for kicks and giggles what we get up to together in the bedroom, we will both happily answer in complete detail, even give you a play-by-play. But before you ask, I have something to ask you." He leaned over the reporter, who now looked pale. "Do you want your network to be the one known for destroying childhood?"
Twilight giggled wickedly as she finished mentally replaying the scene. The interview had never been published, and no reporter had ever asked about their bedroom activities since. Admittedly, that had confused Twilight to a certain extent, as she and Nefarious had never actually been in a bedroom together. She assumed the confusion was the result of her literal mindset.
As she opened her eyes, however, she frowned. She quickly realized that she was not in her bedroom. The walls of the room she was in were all solid stone, with a few manacles here and there making it look like a cell. However, the door was wood rather than stone, metal, or forcefield, and the floor was covered with plush throw rugs. The bed of pillows she was at rest in was practically a nest, large enough for three creatures her size and stacked high enough with comfortable cushions she could sink if she wasn't careful. The figure standing in front of her gave her some clue as to the situation. "Mervin, where are-"
"Dr. Nefarious right now," he corrected quickly but diffidently. "After all, I just kidnapped you."
Twilight blinked in confusion as she sat up. "...why?" she asked, a little confused as her mind started coming more awake.
"As a means of triggering Qwark to come after me for another battle between us," Nefarious explained readily. "And because you said you wanted to see me try."
Twilight smiled. "I see," she offered with a wide smile. "How'd you manage it? I'm really curious."
"I waited until you were asleep, then asked Ratchet for permission to abscond with you menacingly until Qwark came to rescue you," Nefarious proclaimed easily. "He shook his head, said he didn't want to know, and left the door open."
Twilight burst into giggles. "You...you asked my Dad's permission to kidnap me?"
"It worked!" Nefarious countered insistently. "It's the last thing any of you expected, and now I have you at my mercy, and Qwark must journey alone to confront my new fiendish lair of traps, hazards, and deadly robot soldiers to rescue you!" He proceeded to cackle madly.
Grinning, Twilight got to her hooves and braced herself, deciding to 'play along' somewhat. "And what's to stop me from doing thi-Aaaah!" Twilight's words were cut off by the gasping moan. She'd started to gather her magic, but the moment she did, a surge of pleasure shot from the tip of her horn through her entire body, breaking her concentration and dropping her back to her stomach. It was at that point she became aware of strange metal rings around the base of her horn, the base of both wings, and around each of her hooves.
"That would be the suppressor rings you're currently wearing," Nefarious explained. "When activated, they send a surge of energy along your nervous system to disrupt your concentration, and they're powered by any magic you extend beyond your body. This includes spell formula from your horn, flight magic from your wings, or how your magic boosts your physical strength and allows you to grip things in your hooves. These render you completely helpless!" He once more cackled madly.
Twilight lifted one hoof to examine the runic-circuitry embedded in the ring. "And if one of them is damaged, broken, or otherwise improperly deactivated, the rest will activate at full power because of the broken circuit?" she asked curiously.
"Precisely!" Nefarious proclaimed. "Running instead on your ambient magical energy as it attempts to rebalance the circuit." He grinned widely. "It's so nice having a hostage that can follow everything I'm saying."
"But why does it send pleasure?" Twilight inquired curiously.
"Well, villainous kidnapping aside, I didn't want to hurt you," Nefarious offered apologetically. "It only worked if I used pleasure or pain, and not only would using pain be emotionally traumatic for me, after all your adventures your pain tolerance is insanely high, and I'd have the choice between high enough that it risked damaging your psyche or low enough you could easily overcome it by sheer determination. Besides, pleasure is far more distracting, wouldn't you say?"
Twilight had to chuckle at that. "Oh, most definitely. Although it does leave me to wonder..." She glanced at the band around her hoof again. "Were these originally meant for holding me hostage...or something else?" Her eyes shifted to a nearby table.
On the table was a pale blue Princess dress in her size with a tiara resting on top of it. Next to it was a rather wicked looking obsidian crown, heavily jeweled with curved spikes, resting on an ermine cape that was red on one side and black on the other. These were also sized to a body her size, but not in her size.
Nefarious managed to look a tad embarrassed. "I like to multitask..." he admitted finally. "Besides, whether I'm the villain or just a mad scientist...you're still my Princess to me..."
Twilight smiled warmly, a soft blush on her cheeks. Her smile then turned impish. "Then tell me, oh Evil King, how long shall I be helpless in your wicked clutches, unable to resist anything your fiendish imagination can concoct to do to me, before 'my hero' comes to my rescue?"
Nefarious grinned wickedly as he converted his body to equine form, using his crystal lined horn to telekinetically bring the dress, tiara, cape, and crown over to them. "Oh, he's not coming for a long time, Princess!" he proclaimed with another maniacal cackle. Leaning in, he whispered, "I asked Clank to make sure Qwark didn't find out I took you for at least 12 hours."
Twilight giggled as she slipped into the dress and tiara. "Oh...you horrible brute!" she offered dramatically.
Twilight groaned softly as she followed Ratchet along the mag-lock path on the outside of the Nebulox Seven Prison Ship. She'd been stuck on there with Ratchet, Clank, Cronk, and Zephyr for nearly six months, and she was starting to get a bit stir crazy. "Remind me again why you're in charge of transporting this...Vendra Prog to her quintuple life sentence again?" Twilight demanded angrily.
"Because Clank and I are the ones who captured her when she and her brother attacked Pollyx Industries," Ratchet explained as he approached the damaged section of the ship's hull and interior circuitry. Disengaging his Omni-Boots, he let himself float to the opposite mag-path before latching on again and getting to work.
"How'd you manage that, anyway?" Twilight asked, launching herself over to his side. "That's the one thing not in the files."
"We utilized special trap technology Nefarious devised after studying your abilities," Clank explained readily. "They were quite effective."
"No wonder it's not in official reports," Twilight mused as Ratchet worked the repairs. "But why am I here?"
"Because we don't have any more, and your abilities are similar enough to Vendra's that you'll be the only chance we'll have of keeping her contained if she gets loose," Ratchet explained. "And before you ask again, the reason the trip's so long is because Aphelion isn't a sanctioned prison ship, and this is the only ship equipped with the cryo-stasis technology necessary to keep her in check. And the design is necessary so that module can be separated independent of the rest of the ship on our arrival for safe transport. And we're only two hours away now, after taking the shortcut through the asteroid field."
"Which led to this damage," Twilight muttered under her breath irritably. "I get that there wasn't really any way around all this...but it still sucks. Just wish Nefarious could have come along. I miss him."
"Twilight, you holo-call him everyday, which is already a violation of at least 30 security protocols for prison transport ships," Ratchet chided. "The only thing having him actually here would change is things I've already said aren't happening when we're under the same roof. Just because you're 18 now doesn't mean I accept you doing that sort of thing under the same roof as me."
"I accepted you doing that sort of thing in the same building with Sasha," Twilight countered. "And Angela. And Talwyn. ...all at the same time."
"That's different," Ratchet scolded neutrally. "You set me up with all three of them. For you, it's a job well done. For me, I'm your Father, and I tolerate Nefarious because he's good for you. I still don't like him as a sophont."
"Wish you'd be a bit more accepting about his chosen alignment," Twilight grumbled as they moved back into the ship. "He did get you that information file you requested, and it wasn't easy. It'll also cost him a lot in the villain community if it becomes known he was giving information like that to a hero." She paused thoughtfully. "What was that data file, anyway? He won't say."
"Vendra's bio," Ratchet answered readily. "Some of the things she and Neftin said during the attack...it got me curious."
"It seems to have gotten you depressed," Twilight chided.
"Just thoughtful," Ratchet countered. "Why don't you go check in with Cronk and Zephyr on the bridge and give your boyfriend a call? I'm going to go check on her cryo-restraints."
Twilight glanced up at Ratchet thoughtfully. "Alright," she offered finally. "Just be careful, okay?" With that, she turned to the bridge, while Ratchet made his way to the brig.
It didn't take long for Ratchet to reach the brig, taking the straight path through the ship. It had been his idea to keep the systems that controlled Vendra's cryo-cell and the proton field that contained her powers on an independent power system within the module, so that damage to the ship at large would have no effect on her imprisonment. As he approached, he once more got a good look at the prisoner.
Her pale skin stood out against the dark purple of her outfit and the bright pink of her hair, which she wore up over her head like a pair of devil horns. Though the cryo-sleep kept her eyes closed, he knew those pale yellow orbs would be locked on him if she were awake enough to see him. All official reports described her as cold and empty...but Ratchet knew better.
As he checked over the restraints, he activated another system. As it whirred to life, an image of Vendra appeared in the air beside him, glaring at him with her arms crossed. "Again, Ratchet?" she growled irritably. "You've been coming in to talk to me every day for the past two months. Not that I mind the company - cryo-sleep is boring when your mind doesn't require physical functionality in your brain to work - but I can think of much more entertaining ways we could pass the time."
"So could I, but I doubt we're thinking the same things," Ratchet replied readily as he continued his work. He'd detected her brain-wave patterns within the cell independent of her actual body's functionality, and on an impulse built the device - completely self contained - to interact with them. This enabled him to speak with her like this without giving her any way of actually escaping her cell.
"True," Vendra agreed, her tone playful, almost seductive. "My idea's probably much more violent."
"I wouldn't count on that," Ratchet joked back. "One of my mates is a Cazar."
Vendra took on a mock offended pose. "And I thought I was evil. To think you'd think suggest such things about a poor, innocent young girl like me."
"You're 23, one of the biggest criminals in the galaxy, and your net worth from those activities is in excess of several billion bolts," Ratchet countered. "Would you care to try again?"
To Ratchet's surprise, Vendra actually giggled. "You're not at all like what I thought you'd be," she admitted. "I thought you were just a coward, who didn't have the guts to take the risks needed to find his own race. Certainly not the hero the rest of the universe makes you out to be. But no matter how much I insult you, tease you, or threaten you...you turn it into jokes. What does it take to get to you?"
"The one thing you won't do," Ratchet replied readily. "And as long as you don't, I see no reason to be the least bit hostile to you."
"How do you know I won't do that?" Vendra demanded angrily.
"Because you care too much about your own family to threaten mine," Ratchet stated calmly. "Neftin must be a pretty great guy if you're that loyal to him."
Vendra remained silent for a time. "I don't like that you know so much about me," she growled out angrily. "And don't think it means you understand me at all." After a few moments, she sighed thoughtfully. "However...if things had been different, I think we might have been friends."
"I can see that far too easily," Ratchet confirmed. "After all...I could have walked the same path you have. There but for my family go I."
"...and I just wasn't so lucky, is that it?" Vendra grumbled.
"Seems that way," Ratchet agreed. "Seems that way..."
Just as Ratchet finished his check on things in the brig, the entire ship shook. "That's a rocket impact!" he gasped out.
Vendra chuckled softly as the image started to fade. "Looks like the plan worked," she offered smugly. "You walked right into my brother's trap, and now he's here to bust me out. ...it's almost a pity. I was just beginning to enjoy our talks..."
Ratchet said nothing as he raced towards the bridge to help Twilight, Cronk, and Zephyr. Unfortunately, this left the brig completely undefended as the actual rescue squad of Thugs-4-Less troops came in through the back of the ship and freed Vendra. "Take me to my brother," she ordered them as she spread the small, violet energy wings on her back, stretching to get the kinks of cryo-lock out of her system. "And make sure we aren't followed."
Twilight flinched as the rocket impact to the ship caused her to lose her holo-call signal. "What's happening?" she shouted out worriedly.
"We're under attack!" Zephyr shouted out worriedly, grabbing his sidearm and preparing for battle.
"Mom, get to Dad!" Twilight barked out quickly. "You two work best together."
"Understood," Clank confirmed as he immediately leapt into a ventilation shaft, racing through the narrow path to get to Ratchet's side to assist him.
"Cronk, Zephyr, we stand our ground here on the bridge!" Twilight continued. "With Daddy in the brig guarding Vendra, we should be safe once he's got Mommy's backup."
"Unless of course Ratchet's rushing up here to back you up," Cronk suggested. "I mean, he would put your safety over keeping the prisoner secure."
Twilight frowned as she got into a defensive stance. "Yeah, he would..." she grumbled under her breath. Not that she could really blame him. Ratchet wasn't the only one Nefarious had provided that bio information for, and Twilight's main problem with taking this mission - the one she wouldn't actually speak about aloud - is because she knew how close she came to turning out like Vendra or worse. After all, if Ratchet had decided to hand her over to scientists rather than raising her himself...at least Vendra had her brother...
As that thought crossed Twilight's mind, the door to the bridge burst open, and Vendra floated in at the side of her brother, Neftin Prog. While they shared similar coloration, otherwise they couldn't be more different. Where Vendra was small and petite - about the size of Ratchet for that matter, which was somewhat on the small size for sophonts- Neftin was massive, easily as large as Qwark if not bigger. Where Vendra was wispy and carried an ethereal aura, Neftin's bulk had been augmented with cybernetic enhancements, covering him in yellow and black armor.
Twilight and the old warbots ducked for cover, watching to see what would happen with the pair. Vendra seemed upset with Neftin. "Six months!" she snapped out angrily. "I was stuck in cryo-lock for six months! What took you so long?"
"Planning a prison break isn't easy!" Neftin grumbled. "Not only did I have to bribe government officials to get the route, that was only the official route, since I was told the crew had leeway to make alterations mid-flight as long as they got there on time. Then there was coordinating a galaxy wide crime wave to ensure that only the minimum security was available here, and hiring the extra muscle-"
"You are the muscle!" Vendra shouted out angrily.
"And I don't do you any good if I take a RYNO barrage to the face!" Neftin countered, making Vendra pull back. "You do remember who's on this ship as security other than Ratchet, don't you? His little girl, the one who builds weapons of galactic level destruction for a hobby between helping run the galaxy and dating the most infamous supervillain in the known universe?"
Vendra frowned irritably, but sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I guess it would be stupid going up against her without meat shields lined up."
"Need more than that," Twilight stated firmly, stepping out from behind her cover. "And it'd probably help to actually have them with you."
Vendra smirked as she turned to face Twilight. "Your reputation precedes you, Miss Sparkle," she mused, floating between Twilight and Neftin. "I know quite a bit about you."
"And I know a great deal about you," Twilight responded. "I have very good sources."
"I'm certain you do," Vendra agreed. "But what I know about you tells me you're going to stand down."
"You mean the Pyrociter mines that are Thugs-4-Less standard procedure to prevent anyone from following them after a raid?" Twilight inquired carefully. "The ones lining the entire ship, that Neftin's holding the detonator for?"
"That's right," Vendra confirmed as the pair continued to circle each other. "I must say, I'm impressed. You think like a criminal."
"I had several very good teachers," Twilight replied readily. "You think you can make me stand down by threatening to set off the charges, because you can teleport yourself and Neftin to safety, while I'm not in range to protect Dad and Mom."
"And this is where you surprise me," Vendra mused. "Either you're going to tell me Ratchet and Clank are armored against such mines, have already disabled them, or you've got some sort of signal jammer on your person to prevent the remote detonation."
"Built into the walls of the bridge chamber, actually," Twilight confirmed. "I'm impressed. You think like a hero."
"I had plenty of material to study," Vendra offered playfully. "You know, you and I...we aren't so different. I think we could have been very good friends, if things had been different."
"It's a pity you both didn't wind up on Veldin, instead of Meero," Twilight agreed. "It would have been nice having you both as part of the family."
"Unfortunately, we can't just go back in time and fix things just because we don't like how they turned out," Vendra offered, her voice cast in a tragically regretful tone as she started to gather her nether energy.
"Yeah, Grandpa Orvus gets upset when I try things like that," Twilight mused playfully, her own magic gathering in her horn. "And a change this big? Oh, the ripples..."
Vendra smiled softly. "Ratchet made you a promise. I'd rather you both live long enough for him to keep it. So you should back down."
Twilight returned the smile. "We made our commitments," she responded as they once more came to a halt, their circling having put them back in the exact same positions they started in. "You're going to stay right here."
The pair stared each other down for a time, and then unleashed their energies. Twilight's magic impacted Vendra's nether energy...and it formed a coruscating violet sphere at the point of impact, spinning and letting off a high pitched whine.
Twilight backed up slowly. "T-that's not good..." she mumbled as she scanned the energy sphere...only to gasp. "Our abilities...they function on the same wavelengths and rules...but the energy sources we tap are antithetical to each other! It's a magic/anti-magic reaction!"
"It's cascading!" Neftin shouted as he grabbed hold of Vendra, turning and charging for the wall before leaping bodily through it, smashing his way into space as Vendra managed to warp them to safety.
Twilight stared, unable to move. She was too close to the reaction. If she tried to teleport away or shield herself, it would just add to the cascade, making it that much more destructive. But if she didn't escape, the blast would rip her apart.
As everything went white, shadows covered her, and she found herself blasted back through the cockpit and into space.
Twilight felt herself floating, felt her armor activating the environmental protections for space. She quickly realized she'd been blasted out of the ship, probably out the front windshield. She felt no motion, but as she opened her eyes, she saw she was actually moving away from the wreckage of the ship at a rapid rate. Looking around, she caught sight of a magnetized surface and was able to pull herself to it.
As she reached it, her communicator sprang to life. "Twilight! Cronk! Zephyr! Anyone, please answer me!"
"Daddy?" Twilight called out worriedly.
"Oh thank god!" Ratchet gasped out in relief. "Twilight, are you alright?"
"I...I think so..." Her HUD came up, giving her a readout. "N-no injuries, and nanotech levels at 95%. Armor integrity holding. Looks like that blast didn't do as much damage to me as it should-"
In her minds eye, the shape of the shadows that had been between her and the explosion became clear. Two old warbots, loyal to the last.
"C...Cronk and Zephyr..." Twilight whimpered. "They...they shielded me..."
"Twilight, we can grieve later," Clank's voice cut through her thoughts. "Right now, Thugs-4-Less are still hunting us down as part of their 'clean sweep' protocols to avoid being tracked. Now that we're aware that we're all alive, we need to make our way to one of their ships in comm silence, hiding our signals so we can catch a lift to wherever they are going next. Once we're safely aboard a planet and can call Aphelion, then we can grieve."
"R-right," Twilight agreed, getting control of herself. "I...I'm shutting off communications."
Closing the link, Twilight did her best to focus. Already, she could feel the usual terror that had hit her when she was alone ever since her time on Yeedil, fear that had been compounded in the Dreadzone and by the Technomites. But she refused to let it consume her. She'd be able to meet up with Ratchet and Clank before long, and then she wouldn't be alone. For now, she needed to be in control of herself.
As Twilight moved, she managed to pick up the Thugs-4-Less communication signals and listen in.
"Looks like we missed a few!" one of the Thugs was saying. "Well, time to clean up-"
"Just disable their communications and maneuvering jets if you come across them," Vendra's order interrupted. "Assistance for them is likely already underway, and will be here soon. Waste no time, and cloak your engine signatures. Don't leave anyone anyway to track us."
"But...they can't track us if they're dead-"
"Who's paying your paychecks?" Vendra interrupted angrily.
"Uh...Neftin-"
"And my brother obeys me, which means you take orders from me! So unless you want to be left behind for their backup to blame for what just happened, you do what I say and no killing!"
"Y-yes ma'am!"
That's...interesting, Twilight mused silently as she made her way from magnetized wreckage to magnetized wreckage, using as little magic as possible. While Vendra's never killed anyone - or caused any deaths - it was always because it was more efficient not to. No one - not even Mervin - doubted she would if necessary. What's changed? Twilight's eyes suddenly widened as she remembered her conversation she had with Vendra on the bridge, and how much time Ratchet had spent in the cryo-brig during the six month journey. Hoo boy...I thought I was done with that checklist. Wonder if I can still find it...
Before long, Twilight was able to latch onto one of the Thugs-4-Less ships, and quickly activated her armor's cloaking field, standing perfectly still to avoid detection. To her pleasant surprise, she saw Ratchet and Clank latch onto the same ship not far away from her before activating their own cloaks.
The Thugs-4-Less communication line opened again. "No sign of those three. Guess we lost 'em...or that backup got 'em when we weren't looking."
Hearing that, Twilight began carefully making her way to a nearby airlock, Ratchet and Clank quickly following as they caught sight of her.
"Very well," Neftin responded. "I'm sending coordinates to planet Yerek. We have work to do."
The trio silently hid inside a crate in the ship's cargo hold, clinging to each other. Twilight did her best to hold back her tears.
As they arrived on planet Yerek, the crates were deposited some distance from where Vendra was guiding the Thugs. Once their crate was safely deposited, the trio tumbled out sorrowfully, scattering a few machine parts that had been packed in there with them.
"It's...it's my fault..." Twilight whimpered softly. "If...if I'd only reacted quicker, I...I could have saved them. Or if I'd waited to fight until you two got there..." She sniffled and let out a distressed whinny.
Carefully, Ratchet scooped Twilight into a comforting embrace. "Twilight...can I tell you something I've learned from you?"
"From...from me?" Twilight asked surprised.
"When something bad happens, there are three ways to handle it," Ratchet explained. "You can let it crush you with despair and self blame. You can let rage drive you to take vengeance. Or...you can admit to the mistakes made, learn from them, and get better." He smiled down at Twilight. "Which do you think is the best tribute to those two old warbots?"
Twilight sniffled. "I...I guess you're right. But...how did I teach you that?"
Ratchet grinned, gently bopping the underside of her chin. "Which do you think was the way I raised you?"
"Aw, that's so sweet!" a familiar voice spoke up from a suddenly shaking crate.
"Shut up, Cronk!" another familiar voice replied. "You're interrupting!"
Twilight's eyes widened in shock, and her magic tore the box open.
Cronk and Zephyr tumbled out, but they didn't look quite right. First of all, all the parts they were constructed of looked brand new, and not entirely connected to each other. Second, they were both coated in an odd green glow. Third, they were both wearing pirate hats.
"Wha...how?" Ratchet asked, confused.
"The pirate curse," Clank gasped in shock. "Because Twilight is Captain of Darkwater's crew, any robot loyal to her - who sees her as their Captain - is also under the influence of Darkwater's curse, meaning that if they die they will resurrect...as zombie robot pirate ghosts."
"So, does that mean I should be going 'Ooo-OOO-oo-oo-ooo' or 'Ceee-Peee-Youus'?" Cronk asked curiously.
Zephyr promptly elbowed Cronk. "It means we hug our Captain before she bursts into tears, idjit!"
Twilight immediately rushed forward, embracing the pair.
"So, any chance any of you know where we are?" Cronk asked curiously as he examined their surroundings, still not letting go of Twilight. The ground beneath them appeared to have been paved at one point with brown stone, the green grass sprouting up here and there showing how long it had been since it had been maintained. Stone walls had been built around the courtyard, and towering pillars of natural stone stood out in the far distance.
"Planet Yerek," Ratchet spoke up quickly. "In the abandoned Zarkov Sector."
"The one with the Alpha 9 disaster zone classification?" Zephyr asked, surprised.
"Yup," Ratchet confirmed. He took a closer look at the surroundings. "And if I'm not mistaken, specifically in or near the ruins of Meero, where Vendra and Neftin grew up in an orphanage. Where they started on the path that led them here."
"Nefarious gave you good information, didn't he?" Twilight asked happily as she finally released the warbots. "So now what?"
"We find a place where we can signal Aphelion to come get us," Ratchet stated firmly. "Let's go."
The group set off together, leaping out off the high plateau they were on towards the tops of other stone pillars, making their way in the only direction available. As they reached another sheltered plateau, they found signs of where it had been inhabited, and just how long it had been since it had been properly tended. Tables and chairs were scattered around, and lights hung partially out of their fixtures. A large shake caused part of the ground ahead of them to collapse.
"That's odd," Zephyr mused thoughtfully. "There's no record of Planet Yerek having ever suffered geological instability. There shouldn't be any quakes."
"Then perhaps something artificial is causing the reaction?" Clank suggested diffidently.
"In that case, we should hurry," Twilight warned. "We're surrounded by buildings on the verge of collapse, and we don't want to be under them if they do."
As they continued, another shake occurred. When it did, Twilight, Ratchet, Cronk, and Zephyr all pulled back, having seen purple light shine up through the ground, followed by three purple and white foggy forms floating into the air as the ground collapsed. "Did...did anyone else see...?" Ratchet began nervously.
"Nether energy," Twilight confirmed.
"And constructs resembling the ectoplasmic," Cronk added.
"Can't confirm if they were actually ghosts, though," Zephyr finished.
"...why did I perceive none of this?" Clank asked worriedly.
"Your sensors probably aren't programmed to handle Nether Energy," Twilight suggested. "Daddy and I perceived it biologically, and Cronk and Zephyr perceived it because their physical being is now magical constructs, making their senses no longer entirely physical."
As Ratchet used Clank's heli-pack to glide across the wide chasm that had opened and Twilight flew, Cronk surprised everyone by simply leaping across the gap with Zephyr on his back. "You know, I think I have to thank Vendra next time we see her for blowing me up!" he proclaimed happily. "I haven't felt this fit since I was on active duty before working for Max Apogee!"
"Know what you mean, Cronk!" Zephyr agreed as he scaled a nearby stone wall like a spider. "I feel newly manufactured, and my mind hasn't been this clear in...well, I guess that's one thing I still can't remember!"
"I'm glad you're both thriving," Twilight managed to say through her giggles. "Still, you shouldn't be too reckless-"
Cronk burst into laughter at that. "Twilight, we're warbots! Don'tcha know what that means?"
"It means something else these days," Zephyr pointed out. "They don't make 'em like they used to!"
"In that case, we oughta show 'em!" Cronk stated enthusiastically, his entire arms pumping like a shotgun. "Sides, we're undead! Our aspect of the curse probably got supercharged by that discharge of magic and Nether Energy that shattered us. It'd explain why we came back at our prime, rather than the state we died in like the rest of the undead crew."
"Does that mean we might be immune to Vendra's Nether Energy?" Zephyr asked eagerly.
"Either that, or its one of the only things that can disrupt us for any length of time," Cronk corrected. "Only one way to find out, though." He leapt up to the top of the wall Zephyr had climbed.
As Ratchet, Twilight, and Clank raced along behind them, Zephyr pointed straight ahead to where two Thugs-4-Less goons were terrorizing a frightened looking Terachnoid. "Escaped prisoner under pursuit at 10 o'clock!" he shouted, drawing the Thugs' attention.
Before anyone else could react, Cronk leapt across the distance, rolling under the first guard's weapon before coming to his feet, a blade popping out of his right arm as he slammed it into the guard's chest. Grabbing the wrist holding the weapon, he spun so that the convulsions from being stabbed caused the guard to discharge his weapon into his compatriot, staggering them. He then hurled the impaled guard into the shot guard, sending them both tumbling into the seeming abyss below them before withdrawing the wrist blade. "You alright sir?" he asked the Terachnoid.
"Show off!" Zephyr called out jokingly as Ratchet and Clank's jaws dropped.
"More incoming guards above!" Twilight shouted warningly as robotic Thug drones descended towards them from the air.
"Those are mine!" Zephyr proclaimed. His arms and legs twisted, becoming blades as a high-powered jetpack popped out of his back, extending steering foils before launching him into the air. He danced around the drones, moving too fast for them to even register his shape, let alone counter his attack as he split them apart one by one with swipes of leg and arm blades, spinning around like a whirling dervish in three dimensions before coming to a halt back on the ground. As his limbs returned to normal, every drone fell to pieces, raining down into the abyss below.
"You were saying?" Cronk shouted back teasingly.
Ratchet's jaw hung even lower in shock.
Clank managed to pick his jaw up and speak. "They weren't kidding. They don't make warbots like they used to."
"I WANT!" Twilight squealed eagerly, imagining what she could learn by studying Cronk and Zephyr's original functions this way to upgrade Nefarious' robotic form, just to see how powerful she could really make him. After all, Qwark deserved a real challenge in the final battles whenever they 'clashed'...and Nefarious would love all the new and wonderful toys!
Once everyone had managed to regain their composure, the Terachnoid lab tech sighed in relief. "Thanks for the rescue!" he piped up happily. "Here, this Grav Tether ought to be useful to help you maneuver around the planet. It's what Pollyx designed it for." He handed the gun-like Gadget, glowing with purple energy in the metal cage at the front, to Twilight. "I'm sure I don't need to explain the functionality of such a device to one with your vast intellect, Miss Sparkle."
"It links two grav-targets with a uni-directional gravity well, creating a tunnel of controlled gravity - called a Grav Stream - that can allow those within it to ride from one target to the other," Twilight explained. "Rather useful, if rather situationally specific. Unfortunately, upgrades aren't really viable for it as it requires those Grav-targets to function properly. The Grav-blast from the Grav Tether will also collapse an existing Grav Tunnel." She frowned thoughtfully as she examined the device. "I did have some ideas about how multiple Grav Streams might interact..."
"Sorry, I've only got the one," the Terachnoid apologized. "But knowing you, you'll probably have built a new one for everyone in your adventuring party by the time you leave the planet-"
"Here you go, Daddy," Twilight interrupted, handing Ratchet a second Grav Tether she'd cobbled together while the Terachnoid had been talking. She then held out a computer chip and two spheres of magic. "Mommy, if you install this in your systems, you should be able to generate your own Grav Tether systems internally. Cronk, Zephyr, your non-corporeal nature should allow you to absorb the spell weave that can mimic the Grav Tether, and thus generate from your ectoplasmic states."
"...or by the time I finish talking..." the Terachnoid breathed, looking and sounding somewhere between envious and aroused.
"My boyfriend wouldn't blink twice before dissecting you if he thought you behaved inappropriately with me," Twilight warned playfully. "Mommy and Daddy might blink a few more times, but they'd still get there eventually."
"And we work for her," Cronk pointed out. "She's our Captain."
"And you saw what we can do," Zephyr added threateningly.
The Terachnoid lab tech drew in on himself. "Uh...last I saw Pollyx, he was heading for the Azeril Caverns. Good luck." He meekly withdrew.
"Accessing map data..." Clank began as he called up the information from his database. "It is on the other side of the mountains. The most direct route is through the sewers."
"Sounds like that's where we're going, then," Ratchet confirmed.
With the Grav Tether, exploration went much faster, and allowed much freer movement over the wide gaps between plateaus, especially as more chunks of ground collapsed into the abyss below regularly as the purple light flared. The only obstacle they encountered were patrols of Thugs-4-Less, though Cronk and Zephyr took the lead, both spotting the patrols and taking them out before they could become aware of the group.
Before too long, they encountered a Grummel-net holo-shop, and Twilight was able to acquire new weapons for the group. Due to the high security of the mission, Ratchet and Twilight had only been cleared to bring an Omniblaster and Fusion Grenade glove apiece. Through the vendor, they were able to acquire Temporal Repulsors - an energy-based shotgun that utilized reverse-engineered Zoni tech to amplify the discharge - and Nightmare Boxes, distraction based weapons that terrorized enemies with visions of horror before exploding on them.
"Well, there are two ways we can go from here," Twilight deduced as she examined the map Clank had downloaded into their Nav-Units. "We can either go see if we can locate Pollyx...or we can try to investigate the Thugs-4-Less activity at their outpost first. What's everyone's thoughts?"
Ratchet traced the map. "From the looks of things, if we investigate the outpost, that will loop us back here, or at least reach a dead end that will require us to back track to here. But following Pollyx means heading into several branching possible paths, as well as extending into unknown areas."
"From a tactical standpoint, we should eliminate any enemy presence behind us before exploring further," Cronk offered logically.
"Not to mention we'd feel really stupid if we went all the way out to here-" Zephyr gestured to the far edge of the path to the East towards the Azeril Caverns "-only to find out Vendra and Neftin were over here all along!" He pointed to the looping path, where the Thugs-4-Less Outpost was located.
Twilight nodded thoughtfully. "So we have every reason to clear out the outpost first. Let's go then."
The path to the Thug Outpost proved to be far simpler than anticipated. Not only was the only long part of the path along a metal path traversable via Omni-boots or flight, making travel very easy for Twilight and Zephyr, the Thug patrols themselves proved ill-equipped to deal with the concerted assault of two warbots, a heavily armed Lombax, and Twilight Sparkle. Even the Thug dropship fell after a charging assault from Zephyr's air battle mode. Clank focused on hacking the Thugs' comm signal, thus keeping accurate track of all hostiles.
It wasn't long before all hostiles had been dealt with, and the group was free to continue exploration. However, as they explored, a broadcast played over all frequencies.
"Someone out there is beating up my thugs," Vendra spoke up teasingly. "Is that you, Ratchet? Wow, you really are as tough as the stories say. That's...rather impressive. I'm glad to hear you're all still in one piece after what happened with my prison ship. So tell me, what do you think of my old planet? Nef and I grew up here." She suddenly chuckled wickedly. "As much as I hope you enjoy what we've done with the place, another thought occurs to me. I've heard lots of girls when they grow up have fantasies about what they'd do to a nice boy on their childhood bed. I hope I get you cornered there, as I have a few of my own." Her voice took on throaty, sensual overtones. "I'll leave it up to you," she breathed playfully, "to figure out which sort I mean. I'm sure at least one of us would enjoy it."
The group blinked for a bit after hearing that broadcast. "So..." Twilight began nervously. "Is she...flirting with you, or threatening you?" she asked carefully.
"With what I know of Vendra from my reading," Ratchet replied softly, "possibly...both." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Kinda hot," he mumbled under his breath, trying to keep Twilight from overhearing.
Cronk leaned close to Zephyr. "I am suddenly far less comfortable with his relationship with Talwyn."
"I'm pretty sure at this point we have nothing to say there," Zephyr countered back.
Eventually, the group reached the end of the looping path after carving their way through the waves of Thugs that tried futilely to even slow them down, let alone stop them. Between Cronk's unparalleled ground combat skills, Zephyr's aerial maneuverability, Ratchet's weapons fire, and Twilight's magic, the attacking Thugs were mowed down like chaff. At the end of the path, they found one of the newer models of infobots, which promptly flipped open to play its recorded message.
"Are you an unemployed deviant, reprobate, cutthroat parolee and/or ne'er-do-well?" the voice over asked as it displayed an image of three question marks. It then shifted to a golden crest somewhat resembling an ax, before shifting to an image of a colosseum. "Then come on down to Thugs-4-Less Destructapalooza, and earn a place amongst our esteemed enforcers!"
It then proceeded to give various 'before and after' testimonies of 'successful Thugs', before shifting to the end pitch. "Destructapalooza! Where there are no rules. No regulations. Just one basic principle: try not to get D-E-D Dead! New inductees will also get a free jetpack upgrade. That's right, this oddly specific prize is just what you need to convert your robotic friend into a pint sized commander of the skies! And it's only available here, at the Thugs-4-Less Destructapalooza!"
"So..." Twilight spoke up as the message ended. "Yet another colosseum match that we can fight for bolts and other prizes, including one that the advertisement makes a point of how useful it will be for us?" She shook her head ruefully. "If this were the first time, I'd suspect a trap...but at this point, it's a bloody pattern."
"Guess we know where we're going next once Aphelion gets here," Ratchet joked, following Cronk and Zephyr forward.
With the loop fully explored, the group headed along the other path in search of Pollyx and answers. As they entered the sewers, however, strange purple creatures with tendrils could be seen disappearing along the walls. "Looks like a serathoid infestation," Cronk offered carefully. "Hate those buggers, they just won't hold still."
"I'm not gonna be much use down here," Zephyr spoke up. "I'm not so good in confined spaces without open air to maneuver in."
"Know the feeling," Twilight confirmed. "I'm the same way."
"Stay close behind us, then," Ratchet offered quickly, taking point with Cronk.
Thankfully, the sewer tunnel proved quite short, leading directly into the wide open - though enclosed - Azeril Caverns. While not as open as being above ground, it did give Zephyr and Twilight aerial maneuvering room. As they entered, however, another shake accompanied by pink light and spectral forms caused a collapse of several stalactites. "We should be extra careful in here," Clank warned.
"And extra fast," Ratchet added. "Wouldn't want this place collapsing on us. Everyone, keep an eye out for Pollyx' equipment!"
"With how dark it is in here, it's hard to see anything," Twilight grumbled before switching her helmet visor to alternative vision.
It took the group a while as they moved carefully, the shakes continuing to drop stalactites around them, but they eventually managed to make it back out into the light. Once there, they caught sight of a Thug drop ship that hadn't spotted them yet.
"Blast it?" Twilight asked hopefully, her eyes alight.
"Alternatively, follow it to see if it leads us to Pollyx," Clank countered logically.
"We need directions," Ratchet agreed flatly. Sighing, Twilight followed along with the plan.
"I'll tail from the air!" Zephyr offered, shifting to his flight mode and taking off after the drop ship, the others now following his nav beacon.
Eventually, this path led them into another darkened, underground area. As they followed the cavern, they saw several thugs patrolling in the distance, but Twilight caught sight of their quarry. Shifting behind some crates, she confronted Pollyx. "There you are!" she whispered. "We've been looking all over for you! We're here to rescue you...just as soon as we know what Vendra and Neftin have you working on."
The Terachnoid businessman nodded swiftly in understanding. Twilight's glare made it plain she wouldn't let him weasel around a full explanation. "It's...a transdimensional portal device. I used the theories behind the Dimensionator and scans of your energy wavelength...to try and find your home dimension. I got something similar, and that's when Vendra and Neftin came after me."
"From the sound of it, you got their home dimension or something," Ratchet spoke up as they arrived. "Nether energy and Twilight's magic are antithetical. I doubt if Twilight could survive in a dimension overrun with the energy Vendra uses."
"That is...interesting and disappointing," Pollyx admitted sadly. "Still, we can't let its completed form fall into their hands. I was hoping to give it to Twilight, but if the energies are antithetical..."
"Hey, nerd!" the patrolling Thug called out. "What are ya doing down-" His voice suddenly cut off. "Never mind!" he shouted again...though his voice sounded off. "As you were! Don't gimme any trouble while I'm poppin' a squat over here!" The Thug then shambled backwards to a corner before Cronk dropped him on a stool, wiping his hands before leaping down. "You were sayin?" Cronk asked in his normal voice.
"Over here," Pollyx told them all, leading them into another chamber. "There isn't much time, so I'm going to have to take a major risk. I just hope Nether energy is compatible with Zoni..."
"Zoni?" Twilight gasped out. "You're going to install the system in Mommy?"
"More the software," Pollyx responded as he directed a large laser system at Clank. "His systems will take care of the rest." He glanced over from behind the console. "This may sting."
It didn't take long for the installation to be complete. "That...stung," Clank commented dryly.
"Told you so!" Pollyx stated firmly. "Now, this planet is riddled with dimensional rifts leading to a reality the twins call...the Netherverse. Your new spotlight uses irradiated particles to locate them-"
"Wouldn't it have made more sense to upgrade his sensors to detect dimensional anomalies, and specifically attune it to this type of rift?" Twilight asked. "His Zoni tech already has him naturally detecting time anomolies. It can't be that much harder to add for spatial ones."
Pollyx crossed his arms and frowned. "I was setting up for a joke at the Lombax's expense," he growled.
"And the only ones who get to make jokes at Daddy's expense are me and my Mommies. So there!" Twilight stuck her tongue out at the annoyed Terachnoid.
Pollyx continued to grumble for a time, then sighed. "Actually, no sensor upgrade was needed. The rifts were created long ago by the same quantum anomaly the Great Clock was created to contain. The only upgrade I gave Clank lets him enter the rifts and effect changes in the Netherverse in such a way as to echo back to this reality. And now that he can enter them, his sensors will be alerted to their presence as an active dataflow, instead of background information."
"That explains things," Clank murmured softly as he walked up to a rock wall and leapt into it.
"So...now what?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"Now we wait for him to finish exploring the rift, using the energies within to clear a new path," Pollyx explained. "Then we get the hell out of dodge!"
"I can get behind that," Cronk agreed.
It wasn't long before Clank popped back out of the rift, the wall behind him exploding as the rift collapsed. "That was...exhilarating," Clank mused softly. "And...I can confirm that the 'ghosts' we've been seeing are Nethers. This sector is not haunted."
"I've noticed some antennas broadcasting Nether energy," Twilight spoke up. "Think those have anything to do with all this?"
"Rift Beacons," Pollyx explained. "Vendra's own design. I saw her a few hours ago in the old orphanage working on...this...thing."
"Sounds like our next destination," Twilight murmured softly. "But...I'm pretty sure I now know exactly what's going on...and I don't like it."
The group continued through the caves, Clank using the Rifts to open new paths for the group as they came across them. It wasn't long before they made it back outside, they made their way towards the orphanage ruins. On the way there, they found an audio journal. Eager for information, Twilight quickly pushed play. The voice that played was unmistakably Vendra's, but much, much younger. Clank estimated she was maybe four.
"Meero Orphanage. Buncha creeps and bullies. All they do is pick on Nef and me, and when I tell one of the teachers, I get sent to detention?"
Twilight and Ratchet pressed against each other, though neither was certain who was comforting the other.
"But...I made a new friend today. I call him Mr. Eye, and he lives in the caves where my brother and I were found."
To everyone's surprise, Twilight made a shocked, choking noise, her eyes shooting open wide. "No..."
"He doesn't pick on me. He says he's my friend. And HE says he has big plans for us."
"I don't need to know anymore details to catch that bit," Cronk growled out, his metal fists smashing into each other. "Older male figure telling scared children he's their friend and has big plans for them? That sounds like brainwashing. When I get my servos on this Mr. Eye..."
"It's worse than that," Twilight offered. "If Mr. Eye came from the rifts, and was in the caves where Vendra and Neftin were found...then Vendra and Neftin were once Nethers. The reason they're experimenting with the boundary between this realm and the Netherverse..."
"They just want to go home," Ratchet mused morosely. "That's why they're doing all this...and why Vendra was at first so hostile towards me when I gave up my chance to be reunited with the Lombaxes."
"But she can't," Twilight stated flatly. "Her body's Nether Energy is adapted to this plane. It's why it can interact with my magic at all. Just like I couldn't survive long in the Netherverse - or any organic life form native to this one, according to Pollyx' notes - neither could Vendra or Neftin anymore..."
"Then what's the point of the experiment?" Zephyr asked curiously. "If they can't go back home..."
"There is an old religious saying that I believe answers this," Clank mentioned softly. "From Old Earth. 'If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad will go to the mountain'."
"Meaning what, exactly?" Ratchet asked crossly.
"If they can't go home..." Twilight murmured softly. "Then...they can still bring home to them. And with how much they've been hurt by people in this plane if this diary is any example...then they have no real reason to care what happens to this plane in the process."
"The stakes just got a lot higher, didn't they?" Cronk asked worriedly.
"Absolutely," Clank confirmed. "We have to stop them now, whatever it takes."
"Not quite," Ratchet corrected. "We don't just have to stop them. ...we need to save them."
"But they do not want to be saved," Clank pointed out logically.
"Then that's their problem," Twilight insisted firmly.
As the group continued forward, a massive robot guardian blocked their path. It had a crimson body and two arms with prongs at the ends, held aloft by four jets under its bulk. Each arm could unfold to generate a large energy shield, or fire a focused laser. It looked very impressive, especially with how fast it moved. Unfortunately, it proved to fall prey to the same problem all massive enemies they had encountered did...an inability to handle multiple targets. Not only that, its main power core took up the entirety of its torso and was improperly shielded. It went down depressingly fast...and its destruction opened a new path between high stone platforms, held up by brightly colored singing robot heads.
"This is...creepy," Twilight murmured softly, glad she could just fly up.
"It's an abandoned orphanage," Cronk pointed out, indicating a nearby spinning wheel ride, the sort kids stood on while it spun them around slowly. He then pointed to scattered colored pages and finger paints on the walls, along with a hopscotch field etched into the stone at their feet. "It's supposed ta be creepy."
Once they cleared the path, another audio journal sat waiting for them. Twilight quickly played it as they moved into the orphanage.
"Mr. Eye says Nef and I are special. He says we come from a different place. I told him I wanted to go there, but he says Nef and I have been in this world too long to survive there."
Twilight and Ratchet both looked somber as their speculations continued to be confirmed. The sorrowful, longing tone in young Vendra's voice as she spoke of these things tore at the heart.
"But maybe...maybe we can bring them here! I'll need books. Lots and lots of books!"
"Shut up!" Twilight snapped with a blush as everyone else burst into laughter. "It's a logical approach..."
"Quantum Mechanics, Transdimensional Tunneling...but this could work."
"Wow," Ratchet murmured softly. "You and Vendra are almost terrifyingly alike. This tape...she doesn't sound like she could be much more than six, which is when you were reading books at that level."
"The only reason you weren't reading books of that level at that age, Daddy, was because Veldin didn't have them available until you started making money through Gadgetron," Twilight countered. "I'd more say she's a lot like both of us."
"More you than Ratchet, Twilight," Clank offered. "After all, when Ratchet is confronted with a problem, he is far more likely to try and 'wing it' than you, while you more readily turn to books. However, the assessments do seem to be accurate: Vendra would fit very well in our odd little family."
"And she's threat-flirting with Ratchet," Zephyr added curiously. "This is going to be...interesting."
As they continued through the orphanage ruins, Ratchet was careful to avoid entering anything that looked like a bedroom, much to Twilight's amusement. That amusement diminished, however, as they found another audio journal.
"It looks like the rifts were created during some sort of temporal disruption eons ago. Like a hiccup in the space-time continuum. With the right equipment, we may be able to amplify the anomalies and bring out Mr. Eye. Of course, we'll need some room to experiment. Nef says he knows what to do about them. By this time next year, the entire sector will be ours to experiment with."
When a wooden floor collapsed beneath them, the group found an underground area where the walls were covered with crayon drawings of purple beings, ones they could readily recognize as various kinds of Nethers. Nearby, another audio journal left Twilight feeling crushed.
"I've heard about someone who might be able to help us. Twilight Sparkle. She's a sophont of a completely unknown type, just like us, and she's only five years younger than me. At the same time, she's dominated every scientific field she's been a part of. Nef thinks it'd be a great idea to contact her, to see if she can help us with our project. She might even be able to find a way to let us readapt to the other dimension without dying, if such a way is possible. Mr. Eye says we shouldn't, that outsiders can't be trusted...but I tried anyway.
"...Mr. Eye was right. The message we finally got back from Gadgetron was that she was unavailable for such things because she was 'on vacation'. I should never have even hoped..."
Twilight stared at the time stamp, and saw her interpretation was right. This journal had been recorded while she, Ratchet, and Clank had been on Pokitaru after Dreadzone. "If we hadn't been under a comm block for anything business related...I might have been in contact with her. I...I might have been able to help her..."
"You can't be blamed for that," Ratchet hastened to assure her. "Besides...we're helping her now."
"Shh!" Cronk warned as they moved deeper into the caves. "Listen!"
In the near distance, Vendra and Neftin could be seen at work on something. "Is it ready?" Vendra asked coldly.
A Thug approached, and gave Vendra the last thing any of the group ever expected to see here...a Dimensionator. "They built their own Dimensionator?" Twilight gasped out in shock. "That's...so cool! Oh, I can't wait for when we've managed to fix everything and I can do some research with her! The things we'll come up with..." She began to hoofy-dance in excitement.
"You have to concentrate on who you wanted to find," Vendra instructed Neftin firmly as she tossed the device at him. "You need to wear it while I channel my energy into you. If we put my energy in directly at this point, it could overload and destroy the Sector."
Nodding, Neftin placed the Dimensionator on his head. Vendra floated around to behind him and placed her hand on his back. As energy flared, Neftin spoke. "Dimensionator! Find the Nethers!" He then pulled the cord.
The Dimensionator unfolded, functioning flawlessly while Neftin's bulk let him stabilize it readily. Nether energy erupted from the device as portals opened. Large purple energy beings in black armor leapt and flew out of the portals, snarling and roaring as they gathered.
Vendra grinned widely as she stepped away from Neftin. "Welcome all of you!" she greeted warmly.
A snarl from the wall drew all attention. The stone wall seemed to have turned to glass, and behind it a massive blue eye could be seen, gazing down at Vendra. It continued to snarl in a language that Twilight and the others could not comprehend.
"We're getting closer," Vendra promised fervently. "We'll have you out soon."
"Nakto eenid arun imgo," the Eye responded angrily.
"Don't be like that," Vendra pleaded, her voice almost a whimper. "Look how far we've come. It's taken time, but the walls between our worlds are wearing thinner by the day."
"Mago!" the Eye snapped. "Tego umbata salakupo."
"No," Vendra hastened to assure the figure. "No one knows about Planet Silox. The city's been abandoned for over a decade. We saw to that."
"Ukootu rehabshalam," the Eye growled thoughtfully. "Eenid...Agee!" The Eye's gaze swung to where Ratchet and the others were hiding...and Twilight's notepaper stuck out from behind the boulder. "Shilaktamon!"
"Twilight!" Ratchet snapped out as he realized what had led to them being discovered.
"Sorry!" Twilight whimpered. "I was trying to analyze and translate the language..."
Mr. Eye glared down at Vendra. She glanced back and forth between him, the Nethers, and Ratchet's group. Finally, her eyes closed as she turned slightly away. "...kill them," she offered, her voice barely controlled, but sounding on the edge of despair.
Ratchet, Clank, Twilight, Cronk, and Zephyr quickly fled the caves as the Nethers attacked. This was not to say the group feared what the Nethers were capable of, far from it. Their major concern was Twilight's magical energy being in such close proximity to a rift into the Netherverse large enough that 'Mr. Eye' could see through so clearly, especially with an active Dimensionator involved. With the sheer amount of power in play in that cave, one wrong move could cause a cascading reaction of energies that could possibly destroy the entire planet. If they were really unlucky, the cascade might grow to titanic proportions to the point the Great Clock would need to contain it. And that wasn't even accounting for the possibility Orvus was observing via the Great Clock, which could mean Zoni Energy would be caught up in it as well.
Suffice to say, discretion was definitely the better part of valor at this point.
Unfortunately, the Nethers didn't seem willing to let them leave. In addition to weapons powered by Nether Energy, they could also teleport at will and had rather wicked looking blades attached to their heavy armor, making them fearsome at range or in close combat. On top of that, weapons fire seemed to have no effect whatsoever on their glowing, solid-energy flesh.
As they struggled through, they got an unexpected communication. "Mom? Dad? Sis? Blackwater said he felt two new cursed crewmates. Something happen?"
"Qwark!" Ratchet gasped in shock. "What are you doing here?"
"Investigating!" Qwark responded readily. "Between Blackwater's message and losing the signal from the prison ship you were on, I was worried. So what happened?"
"Cronk and Zephyr are presently zombie robot pirate ghosts, and proving just how different 'warbots' were in their day," Clank explained. "Also, we are currently engaged with extra-dimensional enemies known as Nethers who are proving increasingly difficult to fight."
"Really?" Qwark gasped in surprise. "Something you lot are having trouble fighting? I find that hard to believe."
"They're heavily armed and armored," Twilight explained. "And none of our weapons are doing any damage to their flesh."
"They seem to be somewhat energy based," Cronk added.
"Like the Loki?" Qwark asked, surprised. "But those couldn't function without hosts. How are these guys? And if they're all but invincible, why are they even wearing armor?"
Twilight blinked a few times, then put her hoof to her forehead. "I'm such an idiot! The Nethers can't function normally in our dimension unless they're stabilized! That's why the ones that follow Mom out of the rifts explode! The armor must be like space suits, keeping them stabilized! Vendra and Neftin probably had something similar when they were young until they'd fully acclimated to our dimension!"
"Then if we break the armor, we win?" Zephyr demanded hopefully. "We can do that!" Blurring forward, he started slicing away at the straps holding the first Nether's armor in place.
As the armor collapsed, the Nether dissipated. "It worked!" Twilight crowed joyfully. "Thanks, BBBFF! That really saved our bacon."
"Well I've got more for you!" Qwark assured them. "Aphelion and I are on our way to Zarkon as we speak! Over and out!"
Unfortunately, learning how to defeat the Nethers didn't give them as much of an advantage as they thought, as the Nethers retained their ability to phase out of normal space even while wearing their stabilizing armor, and they merely shifted tactics to focus on collapsing the cave system on top of the group. Thankfully, the cave system quickly ended, bringing the group out into open air.
As the caves sealed behind them under collapsing rubble, the group found themselves at a different sort of dead end, with a straight drop with nowhere to go. As they heard the Nethers smashing against the rockpile, Ratchet swallowed convulsively. "So...anyone have any ideas?"
"Jump!" Twilight ordered, racing off the edge and leaping without spreading her wings.
"Twilight!" Ratchet called after her, leaping out on parental instinct to catch her.
"Geronimo!" Cronk proclaimed as he leapt after, trusting to his new undead nature to preserve him even as Zephyr flew after him.
One after the other, each dropped...into Aphelion's canopy. "Got you!" Aphelion proclaimed as she sealed the canopy and shot off to another part of the planet. "So...what have we missed?"
"The Prog twins are using a jury-rigged Dimensionator to try and open the boundary between this dimension and the Netherverse," Ratchet explained quickly. "We need to make sure the real one is safe."
"Not to worry!" Qwark proclaimed proudly. "It's on display in the secure wing of the Intergalactic Museum of History. It's virtually impenetrable!"
"And on top of that, Nefarious upgraded the security just last week," Aphelion spoke up. "He considers such tech to be too dangerous to be experimented with by anyone short of Twilight, so he's surrounded the Dimensionator itself with a magical-identification field that can only be opened by Twilight's specific magical aura, and any attempt to circumvent it - such as bombardment with Nether Energy - will cause the field to collapse inward and destroy the Dimensionator."
"Then we have two directions to pursue at this point," Clank mused. "There is Planet Silox, which is apparently another area where the twins have been experimenting. Or there is the Thugs-4-Less Destructapalooza, which has an upgrade for me and may or may not be a trap specifically to lure us in."
"I think we should hit the Destructapalooza first," Twilight murmured softly. "Give Vendra and Neftin time to get out from under Mr. Eye's thumb and think about what's happened before our next encounter. It'll give Daddy more of a chance to get through to her."
All eyes slowly turned towards Twilight. "...okay, what did I miss?' Qwark mused curiously.
"Oh, I'm pretty sure Daddy thinks Vendra is cute and she has a weird villain thing for him, kinda like Nefarious has for me, and I'm hoping we can use it to get her out from under Mr. Eye's brainwashing so we can save her and her brother and she can be a new Mommy," Twilight offered reasonably.
"And here I thought I'd be done with Twilight trying to set me up after she got her own boyfriend," Ratchet grumbled softly. "Sis, set course for Planet Kragg."
"Course locked in," Aphelion offered, her voice highly amused.
Planet Kragg proved to be rather uneventful, as the Destructapalooza proved to be just like every other colosseum type event the group had ever been to. The only point of true interest on the planet itself was the new weapons available from Grummel-net: the latest model of Mr. Zurkon - or Zurkon the Bearded, in Twilight's case - which in the higher upgrade levels released an entire family of four (Zurkon the Bearded, Zurkon the Clever, Zurkon-Sol and Zurkon-Lun...the last two names leaving Twilight somewhat confused and nostalgic); and the Winterizer, which was based off the FTF Omegatech Frost Cannon but turned enemies into snowmen rather than freezing them solid.
Only the bronze course was presently available for competition, which meant it wasn't long before the group had cleared every available challenge, challenges that didn't differ noticeably enough from previous arena challenges to even be worth noting. The Grummel-net Jetpack upgrade for Clank, on the other hand, was quite useful, as it allowed Ratchet to fly through the air as accurately as Twilight or Zephyr did, as long as Clank had enough fuel. Since Qwark was with them, Twilight was certain that refuel points would be frequently available anywhere Ratchet needed to make use of that particular upgrade.
As receiving the Jetpack upgrade unlocked cleared the Bronze Course and unlocked the Silver Course, Ratchet decided to clear those as well, especially since the first Silver Challenge involved using the new Jetpack, and practice in an arena was preferable to experimenting in the field. Nobody was all that surprised when this snowballed into clearing the entire Silver Course.
With everything they could do on the planet now done, the group made their way to Planet Silox...certain they'd given Vendra and Neftin plenty of time to think.
As Aphelion entered Silox' atmosphere, the group was surprised to immediately receive a recorded message from Vendra. "Hey Ratchet," she spoke softly, her voice somewhere between pleased and regretful. "I knew you'd be showing up before long, and I was hoping you'd be here to see what was going to happen. I'm about to change the very face of all reality...and it's not too late to reconsider where everyone stands. I might just be able to put in a good word for you - for your whole family even - with Mr. Eye once he's here." She sighed theatrically. "I doubt you'll accept this offer, but one can always hope for a happy ending, can't you? If nothing else, I can make sure Mr. Eye lets me kill all of you with my own hands. I'll take my time with you if that happens...but I promise it'll be quick for those you care for.
"But enough of possible future unpleasantness. If I'm going to be down, I'd rather think about the past. You know, when Neftin and I first got here, this city was filled with people...people who didn't understand what it was like to grow up alone." Her voice shifted, now somewhere between empathic and cruel. "Not like we do, right, Ratchet? But we won't be alone for too much longer." The recording ended as Aphelion came in for landing.
"I'm detecting the dimensional irregularities of a functional Dimensionator," Aphelion spoke up as she landed. "To avoid causing a mutli-dimensional singularity rift, I will have to remain here at the landing pad and keep my temporal emissions to a minimum. Twilight, I recommend you also minimize magical discharge, from yourself or from your weaponry."
"So no Zurkon the Bearded," Twilight murmured. "Got it."
"Umm..." Qwark began nervously, staring out at the abandoned city and the swirling lights that looked like ghosts, but most of the group knew were Nethers bleeding through the weakened boundary. "Should some of us stay here to protect Aphelion, then? I mean, if she has to keep Zoni energy emissions to a minimum...that's all her weapons, right?" As all eyes turned to him, he swallowed convulsively. "Not to say I'm too scared to go out and explore this abandoned, haunted city filled with creatures from another plane of existence that look on us as food. I'll freely admit the very idea terrifies me, but I'll face it if you need me. But...well, Aphelion's family, too..."
Ratchet smiled indulgently. "It's actually a very valid point, Qwark. And given your abilities, I think you should stay here and act both as protector for Aphelion, and spotter for the rest of us. Cronk should stay with you as well, since it looks like we'll be spending much of our time here in the air, and he can't fly without ghosting, and the constant reassembly would leave him at a severe disadvantage. Between the two of you, Aphelion should be perfectly safe."
Qwark sighed in relief, but he looked down in shame. "...I'm still a coward, aren't I?" he asked disconsolately.
"Qwark, it takes a big sophont to admit to their own fear," Clank spoke up. "All of us can see that the very idea of this place - and what we'll face here - terrifies you. But you were willing to face it with us if we needed you. At the same time, you thought of the well being of others, and pointed out a vulnerability we might otherwise have ignored. You have come far, and are well on your way to once again being the hero you always wanted to be."
"Courage isn't the absence of fear," Twilight added. "It's doing what is needed of you despite your fear. I believe in you, BBBFF."
Managing a smile, Qwark straightened. "I won't let you down!" he promised with a salute.
Smiling, Ratchet led the way into the city, Clank on his back, Twilight at his side, and Zephyr above them.
Ratchet, Clank, Twilight, and Zephyr made their way carefully through the ruins of Planet Silox and the city that had once been so beautiful. The city was stabilized above a storm below, flashing lightning in the cloudy void showing that a misstep could easily mean death. Not far along, they reached the old grav-train station, which was also in ruins...though the track looked somewhat viable if they could clear it.
A Grummel-net terminal nearby provided two new weapons. The first was a revamped plasma striker that was first available during their journey to reunite with Clank when he was on the Great Clock, giving it - amongst other things - more options for customization. The second was the Netherblades, a weapon based on the old bladed disc throwers that had been modified - apparently by Vendra Prog herself while in preschool - to utilize Nether Energy to slice through anything when launched before bouncing, and could be upgraded to split into multiple blades after each bounce. They also homed in on targets far more accurately than older models did as a result.
"And yet more commonalities," Twilight murmured softly. "I remember when I first started designing weapons..."
"You were preschool age too, actually," Ratchet observed calmly.
"How interesting," Clank observed. "Had Vendra and Neftin arrived on Veldin instead of Meeros when they were pushed into this dimension, the four of you would likely have seen each other as siblings with Twilight being the youngest, instead of her seeing you as her father."
"But then things would have gotten awkward as we reached adulthood," Twilight pointed out. "I mean seriously, Dad's hot."
"Twilight!" Ratchet gasped out, shocked.
"What? Objectively speaking, you are an incredibly attractive male sophont," Twilight explained bluntly. "Well, at least as far as bipeds go. And between that, your natural good nature and caring heart, and your adventuring career...face it Dad, you got so many ladies because you're a total stud."
"I am feeling incredibly awkward right now," Ratchet observed painfully. "I think I want to stop this conversation."
"And that's why it would be awkward," Twilight concluded. "Because obviously Ratchet would have trouble connecting 'little sister' to 'love interest'."
"Anyone normal would," Ratchet grumbled irritably.
"Not according to the galactic net!" Twilight singsonged teasingly.
"I wonder how things would have changed in the galaxies if the Prog twins had grown up on Veldin," Clank mused idly.
"Somehow, I don't think we'll ever know," Ratchet mused thoughtfully.(1)
After a bit of exploration, the group was able to reactivate the grav-train station terminal, though doing so drew the attention of some Nethers. The Netherblades proved impressively effective against Nethers, as the similarity of energies enhanced both the cutting power against the armor and the homing aspect, drawing the blades in even as the Nethers teleported around.
Further along, a laser turret was spotted still active. However, as it could only lock on within a visible red spotlight, it was easy enough to evade. Not long after, a bridge thick with patrols was the next obstacle.
"Allow me to scout ahead," Clank suggested. "I am less likely to be noticed than Zephyr or Twilight."
"Alright," Ratchet agreed. "Just be careful."
Clank took off into the air, then slowly flew over the bridge before returning with a report. "There's a communications relay terminal ahead. I believe it is how the Thugs are maintaining communication with the Prog twins. If we are careful, we should be able to evade the spotlights and use it to triangulate the twins' location."
"Let's do it, then!" Zephyr crowed out, shooting into the air ahead of them. "I'll take out those spotlights-"
"And the Thugs will disable the relay as soon as they hear us coming," Twilight chided. She quickly checked the map. "I think I see an alternative route. Dad, I'll carry you."
Climbing onto Twilight's back, Ratchet held on as they flew around the bridge, staying low to avoid being spotted. "There's a path through the Waterworks," Twilight explained in a barely audible whisper as they glided past some Thugs who were discussing Vendra's intentions, and plainly not liking the possible results. "It should keep us from being noticed too early."
The path into the Waterworks proved to be as clear as could be expected, with only another Nether and some crab-like creatures blocking it, both of which were readily dealt with. After reactivating a pump to drain the chamber, they continued along the path into other areas of the city as they made their way carefully around to where they could reach the relay point without alerting the Thugs.
As they progressed, they received another message from Vendra, this one locked onto their comm frequency and live. "We're almost ready," she purred softly. "Do you think Mr. Eye will be hungry when he gets here?"
"Vendra, don't do this," Ratchet wheedled, trying to appeal to her. "If Mr. Eye cares so much about you and your brother, why did your parents send you here in the first place?"
Vendra was silent for a time. "...any number of possible reasons," she finally allowed. "Not even most of them bad. And none of the sort to convince me to stop, or change my motivations or goals. I will bring home here, since I can go home no longer."
"Couldn't you make a new home?" Twilight offered hopefully. "Where you can be accepted and not hated or feared?"
"It's too late for that," Vendra countered hotly. "Almost a decade too late, Twilight Sparkle." With that, communications were cut.
Twilight sighed sadly. "So close..."
"We'll get through to her," Ratchet promised. "Somehow."
(1) If there's enough interest, I would consider writing a Ratchet and Clank stand alone fic covering this particular what if scenario, to be posted to fanfiction.net. Just letting everyone know.
As the group made their way out of the waterways, they continued to make their way around the looping path, doing their best to avoid conflict or to take down any armed resistance silently and without allowing any communication to reach Thugs or Vendra. The new Plasma Strikers proved exceptionally useful in that regard, letting them take Thugs out from range and from behind, especially with upgraded zoom.
When lost communications from the Thugs they took out silently drew undue attention, the Thugs sent a gunship to investigate. Zephyr took action quickly, first taking out the gunship's communications array and then the engines, each with a single strike. This allowed the group to continue more or less unmolested and in silence.
Before long, they were in sight of the Relay Station. A quick shot from two Plasma Strikers cleared the Thugs guarding it, allowing them to approach without problems. "Mom and I will hack the station," Twilight stated quickly. "Between the two of us, we should have Vendra and Neftin's location in no time. In the meantime, Dad, you and Zephyr need to watch our backs. I would be genuinely surprised if the station weren't booby trapped such that anyone not a Thug even touching the keys sends an alert to Vendra to send in everything she's got to take us out."
"That would be clever," Vendra's voice spoke up from the Relay Station as waves of Thug troops and a few Nethers swarmed in. "But you know what's cleverer still? Tracking where we've lost communications with the Thugs to determine what your objective was, and setting a trap for you."
"I'll take the ground troops!" Ratchet told Zephyr quickly. "You guard the sky. Focus on those Nethers!"
"On it!" Zephyr confirmed, shooting into the air.
"So what do you think is going to happen if you do find me?" Vendra asked as Twilight and Clank continued their hack while the troops moved in. "Do you really think you can stop me?"
"No way of telling," Twilight replied readily as Ratchet pulled out his heavier weapons to blast away at the Thugs. "But the way I see it, there are three possibilities here."
"Oh? And what might those be?" Vendra asked teasingly. "Please, enlighten me."
"First, we get there before you free Mr. Eye and stop you," Twilight explained. "Of course, this probably means we end up sending you both to jail...and I don't really like that outcome."
"Well that's touching," Vendra purred. "Why don't you want to send us back to jail?" On the screen, she could be seen taking a sip of something.
"Well you can hardly be my newest Mommy from prison," Twilight explained logically.
Vendra wound up spraying her drink all over the screen. "Aren't you being a bit presumptuous?"
"We've been on three separate adventures where there's been a dashing lady involved who caught Daddy's eye," Twilight explained. "All three of them are my Mommy's now, and the three of them put together don't have as many common binding identifiers to Daddy and I as you do. It's almost like someone out in the ether went out of their way to design the perfect love interest for Dad and Mommy to me when your story took shape. All that's missing is a redemption arc where you bond to the both of us."
Vendra blinked several times, apparently unsure how to respond to that.
"Anyway," Twilight continued, "the second possibility is that we get there after you bring Mr. Eye into this world, he's everything you hope he is, and we're there to negotiate a peace treaty with the Nethers. Since my BBBFF is President of the known universe, that means we'd be the ones handling all the negotiations, leaving you and Daddy plenty of time to spend together, and Diplomatic Immunity means we don't have to worry about your past criminal record." She frowned as she and Clank continued typing away at the relay, seeking to hack it. "But that might cause problems with you getting along with Angela, Sasha, and Talwyn..."
"Fuck 'em," Vendra joked, laying back.
"Well, you probably will if you join Daddy's harem," Twilight allowed.
Vendra frowned, hiding a blush. "Not what I meant..."
"Third possibility is that Mr. Eye is what I suspect, and when you find out we're able to save you from him, you help us defeat him, and you get that redemption arc I mentioned," Twilight concluded. "I'm personally hoping for the second and third. With what I've learned about your past, I wouldn't want to send you to prison..."
"You didn't hesitate the first time," Vendra pointed out bluntly.
"Well I didn't know you the first time," Twilight countered. "By the way, we're finished hacking, and we've got your location. See you soon."
"Wait, what-" Vendra's words were cut off as Twilight blew up the relay.
"How are you doing, Daddy?" Twilight asked, turning away from the former Relay station.
Ratchet glanced from Zephyr to the strewn wreckage of everything sent against them to himself, and then up to Twilight. "I think we're done here. So where are we headed?"
"There is a large power surge at the Sky Train Station," Clank explained. "We can reach it through the aqueduct."
"Which we'll need to fly through," Twilight concluded. "Shouldn't be too hard."
In order to access the aqueduct, the water pumps had to be reactivated around the area of the city the group could access. Thankfully, with three of them flying, this didn't take long, especially with Zephyr taking out the flying Thugs before they even knew he was there. Once each of them had reactivated a pump, the trio went through the primary maintenance gate into the aqueduct itself.
A massive door blocked their path, inoperable as it lacked power. A quick glance showed power cables leading deeper into the aqueduct, which the group followed through the dark to find the controls. Save for two encounters with Thugs that were dealt with far too swiftly, the entire trip was silent and spooky, but none of the group was willing to risk discovery by breaking the silence.
Once they got the controls deep in the aqueduct and restored power, however, everything started moving again and the water started to refill. "Move!" Zephyr barked out, dashing ahead to blast out any obstacles that would get in the group's way, Ratchet and Twilight hot on his heels.
"Can you teleport us back?" Ratchet asked Twilight hopefully.
"Too much Nether Energy in the environment," Twilight pointed out breathlessly as she desperately flapped her wings for speed. "We'll just need to-"
Her words were interrupted as the water started to recede.
"There was another crank at the other end," Zephyr explained. "Turning it shut off the water pump."
"That's a relief," Twilight gasped out with a sigh as she slowed her flapping. "My wings were starting to burn."
As they exited the aqueduct, they saw a massive storm building over the no longer so distant Sky Train Station. They quickly made their way there, fighting their way through a few more Thug troops before taking an elevator up to the top of the Station. Once there, they saw the shape of the storm. Swirls of Nether Energy gathered in the clouds as Thug troops stared down at them as a sky train nearly ran them over.
Neftin slowly stepped out of a tunnel. "Can you feel that?" he asked the group. "Static electricity in the air as a result of constant transdimensional experimentation. See, without a true Dimensionator, you can't just punch a hole in the walls of reality...the trick is to wear them thin."
"And what about the Sector?" Ratchet demanded firmly. "How many lives were ruined to make this happen?"
"They had their chance to welcome us, accept us, give us a chance to do this safely," Neftin growled out. "Besides...can you imagine what it was like for us? Seeing our kin close enough to touch, but impossible to reach? Forever denied the loving embrace of a family? The people spurned us endlessly. Vendra's powers and intellect were all that kept us from physical abuse. We were kinder than that." He narrowed his eyes. "Did we uproot entire planets? Certainly. But nobody has died because of our experiments. Even when we attacked Pollyx industries, there were no casualties. Better than most of these idiots deserved, after how they treated us."
"So why are you here, then?" Twilight asked carefully. "Why aren't you with Vendra?"
"Delay," Neftin stated bluntly. "Vendra isn't quite ready to breach the boundary. It's still a matter of minutes instead of seconds. I'm here to make sure you don't reach her before that. I'd rather not kill anyone to make that happen - and Vendra would prefer you all come through this alive, too - but I think we're all in agreement that the first possibility you deduced is unacceptable, Twilight Sparkle." Neftin took a combat stance, spreading his arms wide as he directed more power to his cybernetic enhancements as he drew two spiked electro-chain flails.
As Ratchet, Clank, and Zephyr prepared for battle, Twilight frowned. "...exactly how much time does Vendra need you to buy?" she asked carefully.
"Ten minutes," Neftin stated bluntly. "And even at top speed, you're a minute away. I should be able to buy nine minutes without killing anyone."
"Give me those nine minutes to study your cybernetic augmentations so I can learn more about how Vendra's mind works, and we'll stay here without fighting you," Twilight offered.
"What?" Ratchet, Clank, and Zephyr all demanded in shock.
"Deal!" Neftin agreed immediately.
"Twilight, are you sure about this?" Ratchet asked worriedly. "What if the third possibility you deduced happens, and we aren't strong enough to deal with Mr. Eye?"
"Zoni energy from the Great Clock is what breached the barrier in the first place," Twilight explained logically. "If our weapons aren't strong enough to deal with him, we can always sic Aphelion on him. As long as Qwark is convinced Aphelion will win, odds are 99% in our favor. Failing that, I'll pump him full of a large enough magical charge he self destructs from the energy cascade."
Ratchet groaned, shaking his head as he let Twilight step forward to study Neftin.
Exactly nine minutes later, Twilight finished collating her notes. "Fascinating..." she murmured softly. "And she did all this with such...jury-rigged tech with scraps! Oh, I can't wait until I get to invent with her when she has access to high end resources to work with!"
"You seem convinced this will end in your favor," Vendra spoke up as she entered, the Dimensionator in her hands.
"Well, there are only two possibilities now," Twilight explained with a smile. "And either way, we end up friends at the least, family at most."
"And what if I don't end up with Ratchet, hmm?" Vendra asked cautiously.
"It's an inevitability at this point if it's possibility two," Twilight pointed out. "Just give it enough time. As for possibility three, if you do find you just don't click with Daddy and sharing him with the others, I'll browbeat Mervin into adopting you."
"Who?" Vendra and Neftin asked, confused.
"Oh, Dr. Nefarious to you," Twilight explained. "But if he adopts you, he'll be Daddy to you, and then I'll be your Mommy!" Her eyes lit up, and she hopped from hoof to hoof. "Oh, that's even more exciting! And if you end up with Daddy even after that, I'll be my own Grandma!"
"...ow..." Ratchet and Clank mumbled, putting a hand to their heads.
Vendra's eyes widened in surprise. "You'd do that...for us?" Twilight nodded happily.
"But...but we're five years older than you!" Neftin insisted. "How can you become our Mom?"
"My BBBFF is more than twice Dad's age," Twilight pointed out. "What does that have to do with it?"
"...ow..." Neftin agreed, putting a hand to his forehead.
Vendra stared at the Dimensionator in her hands, now unsure. "...I'm almost not sure I should keep going now..."
"You should," Twilight insisted. "If possibility 2, powerful new allies. If possibility 3, sealing the breach will actually be easier after it's all the way open." She smiled somewhat sadly. "Besides, at this point I'd still have to throw you in jail if you don't."
"Then here goes everything," Vendra muttered, putting the Dimensionator on her head and floating upward as it activated. "Dimensionator! Find the Nethers!"
Nethers came flying out of portals as the boundary weakened...and a massive shape erupted out of the sky. Mr. Eye was easily as large as a starship, heavily armored and almost completely stabilized within the armor. Two massive claws hung from his fish-like body on then arms, a massive jaw filled with needle-pointed teeth hanging open under his single eye. As the Dimensionator shut down, Mr. Eye barked out, "Salacuto..."
One of the Nethers swam up and seized Vendra. "What?" she gasped out, stunned. "What are you doing?"
"Vendra-zigob-eenid-agoo-sham," Mr. Eye growled out.
"What did he say?" Ratchet whispered to Twilight as she looked at her collated notes on Nether language.
Twilight's eyes narrowed, her face both hard and sad. "...that we were right..."
"Pawn?" Vendra gasped out. "But...you were supposed to be my friend!" As the Nether clutching her pulled back, her eyes hardened. "Twilight was right about you, you bas-"
Her words were cut off in a scream as she was hurled back through a portal.
"Vendra!" Neftin screamed out in fear.
"Don't worry," Twilight whispered to him. "The Dimensionator will regulate her even within the Netherverse for a good while. It won't be that long before we're able to get ahold of the real one and fetch her back directly. In the meantime-"
"Dimensionator no longer in this level of reality," Aphelion spoke up through the comms. "Risk of trans-dimensional rip now minimal. Engaging assault and pickup."
Mr. Eye spun with a roar only to be knocked across the planet as Aphelion rammed into him in mech mode, before converting back into ship mode and zipping back over to the group. "Everyone on board!" she insisted. "We need to leave now!"
"Set course for Planet Thram!" Neftin called out as the others boarded. "I'll meet you there-"
"I said everyone!" Aphelion snapped, grabbing Neftin in a claw arm and dropping him into the canopy before shooting into the sky.
It wasn't long before Aphelion reached the swamp planet Thram, landing next to a Grummel-net vendor near an emergency bunker Neftin had wanted them to stop at so he could gather some supplies and information. While he went into his bunker, Twilight acquired new weaponry for herself, Ratchet, and Qwark from the vendor. The Vortex Grenade was yet another generation of the old Bomb Glove, this one using dark matter to create a negative energy vortex at the point of explosion. The Warmonger rocket launcher had also once more been upgraded further, making it all the more devastating.
Eventually, he came out with a tourbot from the Museum of Intergalactic History. "Alright, here's what we need-"
"Why?" Twilight asked. "You want to tour the Museum?"
"That's where the original Dimensionator is," Neftin explained. "We need it to send the Nethers back where they came from and save my sister. If you bring it to me, I can fix it-"
"Then why do we need a tourbot?" Twilight asked curiously. "Qwark's the President, and I'm the Vice-President. If we both go there, we can requisition the original Dimensionator and have it out of there in under an hour."
Neftin blinked for a bit. "...oh yeah, kinda forgot you could just do that. Not used to having someone with actual authority with me instead of against me."
"Of course, we can't just hand over such an important artifact to someone who is still technically a wanted terrorist without some sort of guarantee," Qwark pointed out logically. "If we did that, there's no telling what charges will be laid against us."
Neftin frowned. "I thought you were trying to save us?" he growled out.
"We are, but BBBFF raises a valid point," Twilight insisted. "We do fully intend to save you, and minimize whatever punishment you both will face for your crimes...but you will have to face justice. Promise you will, for you and your sister, and we have a deal."
Neftin looked away nervously. "Do, uh, do I have to do that special promise?" he asked nervously. "It's...pretty dangerous for someone like me or Vendra, what with all the trans-dimensional stuff we do."
"Then it's one you won't break no matter what, isn't it?" Ratchet observed with a small smirk.
Neftin sighed ruefully. "...Vendra's gonna kill me..." he grumbled under his breath. Looking up at Twilight, he began the hand motions. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, once Vendra is safe and the Nethers are banished, I'll make sure we face whatever the law deems is justice for our crimes." He shuddered violently as he glanced around.
"Then we have a deal," Twilight stated firmly. "Here's the plan. We'll all hit Planet Igliak to drop off myself, Qwark, Neftin, Cronk, and Zephyr. To make it look like Neftin's in custody, Cronk and Zephyr will stay with him at all times. Qwark and I will requisition the Dimensionator. While that's going on, Daddy and Mommy will take Aphelion back to planet Kragg, where they'll complete the Destructapalooza for anything useful before meeting us back on Igliak. If Mr. Eye has any sort of plan in mind, he'll probably be there by then to try and stop us. Neftin will use the Dimensionator to send Mommy into the Netherverse to retrieve Vendra, and then to banish the Nethers. Anyone see anything wrong with this plan?"
"Umm...I think I see a couple things..." Qwark observed diffidently.
Everyone turned to face him with expressions varying from surprise to disdain, though Ratchet looked thoughtful. "Well, that list did mention an average 5 year old," he muttered under his breath. "Go ahead Qwark, what do you think Twilight's missed?"
"Well, won't people on Igliak get a little concerned about undead pirate ghost robots claiming to be government security robots?" he pointed out. "I mean, it's not like that's something you see every day."
"That...is a very pertinent observation," Clank allowed. "It is certainly something that needs to be addressed."
"There's an exhibit about us at the museum," Cronk spoke up. "What if we went in as a group until we got there, and Twi and Qwark left us there to head for the Dimensionator? If anyone got nervous about us, we could point to our exhibit for identification."
"And until we got there, just being with Twilight would be enough for everyone to be comfortable about it," Zephyr observed. "Assuming they even spotted the rest of us with Twilight there."
"It's not my fault I'm still adorable!" Twilight snapped out angrily, bouncing a soda can from the floor off Zephyr's cranial dome in a fit of pique.
"Well, my other concern's more important," Qwark spoke up. "I mean, most of this plan counts on the Nether leader being very slow and not moving his forces into play ahead of him. What's to keep him from getting his forces to the Dimensionator first, even if only to destroy it so we can't use it?"
"Aphelion, call Ace and Darkwater!" Twilight barked out. "Tell them to get the fleet into positions around Igliak. Don't let anything but us through!"
"Message sent," Aphelion piped up. "Pirate fleet is already in position. When the massive dimensional distortion was detected on Planet Silox, they assumed you would need the Dimensionator and that others would be in pursuit of it, so they moved to protect it. In addition, Talwyn, Sasha, and Angela have already arranged to dispatch military forces to quell Nether activity in other areas, with the Sparkle Squadron taking point."
"Well, looks like everything's well in hand!" Qwark proclaimed expansively. "Let's go!"
Aphelion stopped off at Planet Igliak to drop off Qwark, Twilight, Cronk, Zephyr, and Neftin. Twilight stopped long enough to buy a Netherbeast weapon - which utilized a trained Nether creature (confirmed non-sapient) to attack enemies, using the weapon's energy supply to provide the Nether with the energy it needed to be stabilized in the local dimension - for herself and Ratchet before sending Ratchet and Clank off in Aphelion to hit the Destructapalooza. With Twilight's security clearance, the group was able to march right into the museum and straight into the high security wing where the Dimensionator was stored.
Unfortunately, the Nether army was either larger or faster than the group had anticipated, and a large group was already invading Igliak by the time they got the Dimensionator to Neftin. Twilight quickly took charge of the situation. "Qwark, Cronk, you two take the air taxi and my weapons and guard us. Zephyr, you fight them off in the sky. I'll stick close with Neftin and get the Dimensionator fixed, and keep these guys off our backs until Dad and Mom get back here. Mom's the only one who can get into the Netherverse to rescue Vendra, and we'll need her power to banish the Nethers!"
"On it!" Qwark barked out, hefting several weapons as he rushed for the air taxi.
As Twilight and Neftin worked quickly on the Dimensionator, Neftin grumbled about the level of damage. "Well, the power source is intact, as are the dimensional circuits. Couldn't reproduce those accurately enough in my knock off for full strength, no matter how hard I tried. But something snapped off the primary reflux coil."
"Here," Twilight offered, pulling out a three and three quarters cubit hexagonal washer. "We used this for spot repairs when it broke last time. Should work again this time around."
Neftin glanced between the circuitry of the Dimensionator and the washer Twilight was offering him. "I was wondering about these burns," he grumbled. "It'll work, true enough...but only twice more. Once to get Vendra out, once to send the Nethers back. After that...this thing will be burned out completely."
"That's fine," Twilight stated firmly. "It's too dangerous as is. Better it doesn't exist."
"...the program's still trying to track your point of origin," Neftin pointed out. "If we burn it out, it won't be able to give you that information..."
"Last time, it said to contact Orvus about the error message," Twilight countered. "We'll just remember to ask him this time."
Nodding, Neftin installed the part. "Soon as Ratchet and Clank get here, we fire this thing up."
Seemingly as he spoke, Mr. Eye swam into the atmosphere, heading for the pair. Before it could get too close, Aphelion dove into the atmosphere, Ratchet and Clank both leaping out of the cockpit as she shot back into space. As Ratchet descended with his hoverboots, Clank floated over to Twilight and Neftin. "With the plan to activate the Dimensionator, Aphelion cannot remain," Clank explained quickly. "Ratchet will hold off Mr. Eye until I retrieve Vendra."
"Right," Neftin confirmed, pulling the Dimensionator on as Ratchet unleashed his full arsenal against Mr. Eye. "Dimensionator, find Vendra!"
As the Dimensionator activated, a Nether Rift opened. Clank instantly dove through.
It didn't take Clank long to make his way through the Netherverse to where Vendra was being held. She looked up as he approached. "Ratchet and Twilight sent you?" she asked softly.
"With help from your brother," Clank confirmed. "Come, it's time to get you out of here."
"I'm not strong enough to break this barrier," Vendra explained quickly. "Just surviving here has sapped most of my strength...and I need to be at full strength before we leave."
"Aphelion foresaw this possibility," Clank observed, pulling out a small device. "This has been collecting Nether Energy with every Nether Aphelion destroyed on the path here. It should be strong enough to both break this barrier and restore you to full strength."
"I hope so," Vendra observed. "Mr. Eye is the reason the Nethers are in this state. Before we can send them home...we need to destroy him."
"I am certain we will find a way," Clank promised, hurling the device at Vendra as it glowed a bright pink.
As power flooded into Vendra from it, she grinned widely. "I think I already have a way..."
In a flash of light, Clank and Vendra returned from the Netherverse. "You said you had a plan," Clank addressed Vendra as they were greeted by the sight of Ratchet desperately trying to hold back Mr. Eye as he leapt from magnetized floating platform chunk to platform chunk. "Enact it."
Nodding, Vendra floated over to Twilight. "Our energies are antithetical to each other, so using them against each other causes crazy explosions."
"Right," Twilight confirmed. "Which is a pity, because from what I've seen of your tech and weapons you designed, it looks like it would work with the same spell forms my magic does-"
"So what happens if we wield them together?" Vendra asked. "Not fighting each other...but combining them?"
Twilight's thoughts raced as her eyes flicked back and forth rapidly. "...total thaumic reversal," she concluded finally.
"So is that an actual conclusion, or we just liked the same Old Earth Sci Fi?" Vendra asked as she gathered her power as Mr. Eye turned to charge them.
"Little of column A, little of column B," Twilight responded as her own power gathered.
As they faced Mr. Eye, they unleashed their power in matching weaves. The streams of energy crossed, intertwined, and punched straight through Mr. Eye, leaving a hole in its body from the eye all the way to the tail. It slowly collapsed towards the ground, dissolving.
Neftin acted quickly while the Nethers were distracted. "Dimensionator! Find the Netherverse!"
As another rift opened, Vendra added her power to Neftin's, and the rift began to suck up all the Nethers who had escaped into the world, sending them back to their own dimension. As the rift finally closed, Vendra collapsed, falling into Neftin's hand as he rushed forward to catch her. "Nef..."
"It's alright, Vendra," he offered softly. "It's over now."
Vendra nodded softly. "So...what now?"
Sighing, Neftin lifted Vendra onto his shoulder. "Now we face justice, and probably go to jail."
"What?" Vendra gasped in shock. "No! I absolutely won't go to jail!"
"A deal's a deal, Vendra, and I made the special promise," Neftin insisted, turning to walk towards where Ratchet had rejoined the group.
Vendra grumbled irritably for a time. "...can we still be evil?" she pleaded.
"No!" Neftin insisted.
"Yes," Twilight countered.
"What?" nearly everyone else gasped in shock.
"What, my boyfriend's evil," Twilight pointed out logically. "Why can't I have an evil Mommy, too? Besides, don't go counting your fate before you're judged. See, since you were being manipulated by an enemy superpower...this falls under a different court..."
Vendra and Neftin stood within the Court of Azimuth on Fastoon, where President of the Universe Qwark decreed their trial would be overseen to take into account everything that had come of their lives, crimes, and good deeds. Both knew their fates were about to be decided, and could only hope that things would go well.
When they'd arrived on the planet, they had been told to wait in the court as the judge - who they had not yet seen - heard all the facts as presented by Arbiter and Advocate. When all facts had been presented, the judge would meet with them and hear their last pleas, and then weigh his judgement, which would be final and irrevocable. What had shocked both had been the identities of these figures.
The Arbiter, the one called on to present the harm that had been caused, was Orvus Zoni the Timekeeper. The Advocate, the one called on to present the justification for their actions and their defense, was Dr. Nefarious. Needless to say, Vendra and Neftin were more than a little overwhelmed by the sort of figures Twilight could apparently call in on a moment's notice.
Just as both had finally begun to calm down and shift uncomfortably, the innermost chamber door opened. Orvus and Nefarious each exited, followed by a Lombax they recognized only by reputation. Orvus introduced him. "General Alister Azimuth, Four-Bolt Magistrate of the Lombax Praetorian Guard, Elder Councilman for the Center for Advanced Lombax Research, Honorable Supreme Justice of the War Court...will now hear the final pleas."
Alister swept up onto the podium before the Prog twins, cameras broadcasting the proceedings to the entire galaxy. "Neftin Prog, many charges are pending against you, enough that you may find yourself facing - in total - a life sentence in maximum security. Do you have anything to say in your own defense?"
"No," Neftin responded simply. "I did no more and no less than what I needed to do to protect my sister. Even knowing what I do now, I would have done no different. My sister and I had to look out for each other, when there was no one else who would help us."
Alister nodded. "Your words have been noted," he stated simply. He then turned. "Vendra Prog, both your crimes and your situation have been noted by this court, and deliberation has concluded. Before judgement is served, have you anything to say for yourself?"
Vendra lowered her eyes. "I...I just wanted us to go home..."
Alister crossed his arms as he gazed down at them. "Vendra Prog, this court has come to the conclusion that your criminal actions were not truly of your own volition. You were held under the sway of the entity known by this court as Mr. Eye, who manipulated your development from a young age to turn you into his tool to try and conquer our dimension. However, despite this you did not cause needless suffering as you acted to make his goals - those you perceived as your own - happen. Despite all the harm brought to you by those you knew, you chose to drive people out of the Sector for your experiments rather than kill them, expending more effort in the process. You also gave them enough time to take a good deal of their belongings with them. While they were displaced, they were able to rebuild their lives elsewhere with little difficulty. From all this, the court has come to the conclusion that despite Mr. Eye's manipulations and your own belief to be 'evil', you are not an inherent threat to the safety of the galaxy, and your own actions in assisting with both the destruction of Mr. Eye and the banishing of the Nethers back to their own dimension speak in your favor.
"It is thus the decision of this court that you are to be hereby cleared of all charges."
Vendra stared in disbelief, but Neftin sagged in relief. Plainly, all he was concerned with was her well being. "I..." Vendra began.
"However, the damage done to you did not simply cease to exist just because you were able to defy and destroy the one who so manipulated you," Alister continued. "As such, you are to undergo court mandated psychiatric evaluation and treatment, until such time as the damage has been repaired and you are able to live your life beyond it. It will be up to your counselor and your parole officer to determine when you have completed this recovery, and until then you will reside with your parole officer, who will be legally responsible for your behavior until your treatment is complete."
Vendra frowned, crossing her arms. "Great, just great. So who am I going to be stuck taking orders from for who knows how long?"
Alister smiled softly. "Ratchet Gyro has volunteered to act as your parole officer. If this is not acceptable, another can be found-"
"No, that's fine," Vendra stated quickly, lowering her gaze.
Alister then turned to Neftin. "By the view of this court, your loyalty to your sister is unquestioned and unshakable, and you thus prove no threat to the galaxy so long as she is under control. However, your decisions were entirely your own throughout your criminal activities...so while this court will show leniency, you will still be sentenced. It is the decision of this court that you are to serve no less than 4 hours of community service per day until such time as Vendra's recovery is judged complete, to total no less than 2000 hours of service. In the meantime, as the bond between the two of you is central to your emotional well being, you are also to reside with her."
Vendra stared around in awe at the inside of Aphelion's canopy as the ship flew through space. "This is...how did you do all this?" she gasped in shock. "Dimensional weft space...folded time...an artificial Ether Spring? And the matter synthesis tech...where did you even get all this?"
"Magical energy combined with the time force of over 100,000 Zoni," Twilight explained softly. "Applied to a machine designed with an Artificial Soul program that let her react to things like an organic while she was on death's door inside a temporal freeze anomaly. We're still figuring out everything she's capable of-"
"Are those trans-metal shift sequencers?" Vendra gasped eagerly, rushing to the edge of the cockpit to examine some circuitry. "It is! This ship can transform?"
"You know, I did notice that," Neftin spoke up softly. "I just didn't really understand the significance. I'm good with analyzing an existing device and making a copy or repairing the original...but Vendra's the one who can look at something theoretical and put it together."
"If you think that's impressive, wait until you see what's deeper in!" Twilight was telling Vendra. "I managed to install an Obsidian Eye in her communications array!"
"You're kidding!" Vendra gasped out as she rushed after Twilight to see what she was talking about.
"Guess we're in a similar boat, then," Ratchet told Neftin. "Each of us struggling to take care of - and keep up with - someone whose mind works at levels we can't begin to comprehend."
"At least they're having fun-" Neftin's voice died as he stared at their destination as Aphelion turned to a landing vector, moving slow to give a great view. "I...I thought you said we were going to your place!" he gasped out.
"This is where we live when there's no hero work that needs doing," Ratchet confirmed. "Great way to find out about it quickly. Besides, I need to introduce you to the rest of the family."
Neftin struggled to get his voice. Finally, he turned towards the folded space areas of Aphelion's interior. "Vendra!" he bellowed. "You have to see this!"
"I'm busy!" Vendra shouted back angrily. "I doubt anything out there can top what's in here!"
"I think you'll reconsider when you see where we'll be living for our 'parole'!" Neftin called back out.
"What's so cool about a house?" Vendra grumbled as she finally turned to come back to the front.
"Well, we live with my grandparents," Twilight pointed out with a wide grin. Her grin only widened as Vendra went completely limp, staring with wide, amazed eyes at her first panoramic view...of the Great Clock. Noticing something, she handed a small cup to Vendra. "Sound proofed," she explained.
Vendra quickly snatched the cup and stuffed it over her mouth to contain her excited squee.
"I know, right?" Twilight squealed eagerly. "I still haven't learned all this place's secrets! We're going to have so much fun here!"
"And you get to meet the rest of the family," Ratchet added, guiding Aphelion into the dock.
As the canopy opened, Orvus floated up. "Come along, Neftin. It's time for you to start your community service."
Neftin stood up, looking somewhere between stupefied and exultant. "You...you mean..."
"For at least four hours of every day until you've completed your sentence, you're going to be working for me repairing the systems of the Great Clock damaged by your actions in freeing the Nethers," Orvus explained. "This will include any Nether energy specific tech Twilight and Vendra come up with together while studying the Clock's systems."
Neftin practically fell out of Aphelion. "I...I have so many questions..."
"If it's beyond 'where do I put this' or 'what charge do I use here' type of questions, you have to save them until you've completed your 2000 hours," Orvus stated bluntly. He then let off the family chuckle. "But if you impress me with your diligence, I just might have room for another apprentice. Recent events have nailed home the necessity for redundancy when it comes to power at the top...a chain of command, as it were." Seeing Neftin's eagerness, Orvus quickly put up a hand. "No more than 12 hours a day, mind you. I insist you get your proper rest and relaxation, not to mention food. And I don't care how efficient your cybernetic augmentations make you, you're still going to take proper care of yourself."
"Is...is this your strategy for reforming super villains?" Vendra asked in shock. "Drown them in everything they've ever wanted or dreamed of?"
"It works," Nefarious pointed out as he walked up beside Orvus. "Well, at least to the extent that 'reforming' is necessary."
Ratchet performed a stunned double take. "What's he doing here?" he demanded angrily of Orvus. "After what he did last time-"
"In exchange for 'Pinkie Promising' Twilight that I would make no future attempts at trying to take control of or use the Great Clock beyond what Orvus - or whoever currently held his position - approved of, I was allowed to come learn from Orvus about everything except time manipulation," Nefarious explained. "Besides, not only does Twilight want to work on those 'warbot' upgrades for me, I need to put my several psychology and psychiatry degrees to use somehow now that I've perfected the Biobliterator-roboticization process."
Vendra blinked, stunned. "Y...you're my court appointed therapist?"
"I could even prescribe medication if I thought you needed it, if your physiology could accept it," Nefarious replied with a wide grin. "Of course, there's also this paperwork I need to fill out with you both. Twilight's idea." Pulling out the datapad, he scrolled through several pages. "So did you both want to stay Progs? Cause I think 'the Nefarious Twins' has a more menacing ring to it."
Vendra fell out of the air and onto her rump, staring up in shock as Neftin rushed to her side. "W...wha...?"
"The core of the emotional problems that opened the door for Mr. Eye and created this damage was the two of you having no family but each other," Nefarious explained softly. "And at Twilight's suggestion - which I agree with - the first step to helping you recover...is to give you that family, as best as can be."
Neftin's gentle tears joined Vendra's sobs as everyone present gathered for a group hug.
It was little more than a few weeks before everyone had settled into a routine at the Great Clock. After breakfast in the early mornings was service hours for Neftin and research time for Twilight and Vendra (though Nefarious sometimes joined in for that), with Ratchet tagging along to keep an eye on the girls. This lasted until lunch time, at which point the group split differently. Ratchet, Nefarious, Clank, Qwark, and Neftin joined Orvus, Alister, and Kaden for 'Guy Time', which generally involved some sort of sporting event. Twilight, Vendra, Angela, Sasha, and Talwyn joined Vasshir for 'Girl Time', which varied extensively. Girl Time could be anything from a tea party, a pajama party, a visit to the spa (the first time accompanied by an explanation from Orvus as to why a facility originally meant to be run by primarily incorporeal beings like the Zoni even had a spa), or watching the boys making a fool of themselves in the sporting event of the day.This lasted until dinner, another group meal, before everyone split up for 'Couple's Time'. Twilight went off somewhere with Nefarious, and Ratchet would spend time with Vendra comparing notes about their lives, generally in the company of Angela, Sasha, or Talwyn. During this time, Kaden, Alister, Vashiir, Neftin and Qwark would join Orvus and Clank for some gentle relaxation, and knowing chuckles when Vendra joined them because whichever girl had been hanging around that night had dragged Ratchet off 'for a nightcap'.
Overall, the routine was both relaxing and comforting for everyone involved, only deviating on weekends for 'Family Time', when Nefarious took Vendra and Neftin aside for their own bonding, often culminating in Vendra's appointed 'therapy' sessions. As most of these involved Nefarious alternating between babying Vendra or simply letting her talk, they were both relaxing and comforting for her, though she couldn't tell if they were actually doing anything.
Of course, every routine has a few hiccups.
Ratchet turned with a smile to Vendra. Over the course of the time they'd been talking like this, he'd seen more of what he'd noticed when talking to her on the prison ship: that behind the cold, vicious exterior she presented to the world was a passionate, vulnerable young girl who desperately didn't want to be alone anymore. He couldn't help but see his younger self there, and once the veneer of hostility from being enemies had fallen away, they'd bonded quickly as friends...and the seeds of something more could already be seen to be blossoming as they became more and more comfortable with each other.
However, he had noticed that she was becoming less and less open as the storytelling reached the end of the first battle with Nefarious. Vendra seemed to be withdrawing into herself, and according to Nefarious had been less enthusiastic when it came to inventing with Twilight. "What's bothering you, Vendra?" he asked pointedly. He'd learned by now that beating around the bush with Vendra led to either uncomfortable innuendo or a shouting match, and had taken to being very direct. She seemed to appreciate that, and often reciprocated in kind.
"We're...coming up on a part of my life that...I'm not looking forward to reliving," Vendra responded with unusual circuitousness. "Something that...well, things could have - and maybe should have - gone a different way. Got some...negative feelings about-"
"When you tried to contact Twilight for help but she was 'on vacation'?" Ratchet clarified. "We found your audio-diaries scattered about at the orphanage."
Vendra sighed and nodded. "Yeah. I know it's stupid to hold that against her now, especially after everything she's done for me." She gave Ratchet a 'look'. "And don't even bother trying to deny she was the primary drive in 'saving' Neftin and I."
"Wouldn't even think about it," Ratchet responded readily.
Vendra nodded. "Even so...it could have been fixed so much sooner...and then so much pain would have been avoided..."
Ratchet sighed. He didn't want to spoil their time together with this, but he had to point out where she was wrong. "Except that if I'd taken Twilight to the Polaris Galaxy to meet with you, I'd have immediately shown up on Tachyon's radar. He was still trying to kill me after all."
"Okay, I guess there's that," Vendra allowed dismissively. "But we could have communicated. If...if I'd talked to her back then, maybe..."
Ratchet lowered his eyes. He really didn't want to dampen the mood, but he couldn't let this hang between Vendra and Twilight. "It wasn't a vacation," he explained softly. "It was a mental health retreat for her." Seeing Vendra's eyes lift in surprise, he began his explanation. "See...not long before that was when the plans of one Gleeman Vox went into play-"
"The Dreadzone?" Vendra asked quickly. "We got the story from the tourbot Neftin snatched for the museum. What does that-"
"Twilight was in there," Ratchet interrupted. "Alone. And...between that, Bogon, and the Technomites...well, she can't stand being alone anymore...ever."
"Technomites?" Vendra asked, confused.
Ratchet rubbed his face, steeling himself to relive this part as he explained it to Vendra. He only hoped she could handle even hearing about it.
A couple weeks after that fateful conversation, Ratchet wandered the halls of the Great Clock alone. As he'd expected, Vendra had taken the story of what Twilight had been through...hard. It was probably a couple of steps back as far as her therapy, but it had removed any division between her and Twilight. The two were as close as could be now, to the point Ratchet found himself wondering if he'd be competing with his own daughter for Vendra as a possible 'harem member'.
"Ratchet," Clank suddenly spoke up next to him, "Sasha has requested your presence in Virtual Station Iota. She said you should make your way there with all speed."
Nodding absently, Ratchet made his way to one of the 'holo-environments' that Kaden and Vashiir had found so appealing when they first began their retirement here. Sasha often made use of them to simulate environments for when it was 'her turn' to drag him off for a 'nightcap'. He chuckled to himself as he made his way there, smiling as he was certain he would be in for fun.
As he entered, he was unsurprised to find his clothes altered to Cazar traditional battle garb, or that the environment was a 'traditional battle ground' from Cazar itself. It was one of Sahsa's favorite environments for 'fun', starting with a battle and ending in...other things. What did surprise Ratchet was to see Vendra and Talwyn - both also in traditional battle garb - on a balance beam above a mudpit moving back and forth as they struck at each other, with Sasha watching on, her crossed arms covering her more than anyone else was in the traditional garb.
"Uh..." Ratchet began nervously. "What is..."
Angela gasped for air as she climbed out of the mudpit. "Sleepless...damn it. Why aren't I used to having my tail back yet?" With a groan, she rolled out of the pit, mud still clinging suggestively to her, providing her only somewhat increased modesty beneath the binary sunlight beating down on them all. As she sat up, the mud already began to dry and flake away. "Definitely should have been training..."
"Angela, what is this?" Ratchet demanded in confusion.
"Cazar courtship traditions when it comes to Prides," Angela explained as she stripped mud from her hair. "When a new mate is added to the Pride, all prior mates engage her in hand to hand combat, with defeat only coming from being knocked into the mud. Who is victorious determines the pecking order amongst the mates, so there aren't any debates about turn order or anything like that. I fought Sasha this way when we first met once I told her I was there to join your harem, and we both fought Talwyn this way once it was plain she felt the same way about you we did."
Ratchet blinked for a time. He'd known many Cazarian traditions were based in ritualized combat, but this one had slipped by him. "O...kay..."
"And since Vendra's the fourth now that the Courtship Moon has ended, you'll be expected to 'welcome' her as soon as her place in the order is determined," Angela continued. "With the three of us watching."
"...what?" Ratchet asked hoarsely.
"Oh, don't worry, she's totally okay with it," Angela offered quickly. "When she explained this all to her, she said the Courtship Moon could be repeated until she was ready, but she said she was ready now."
"...and if I'm not ready?" Ratchet asked, though not with much conviction. Seeing all four of them dressed - or as Vashiir had put it when she'd first seen this garb, 'not dressed' - like this was already doing numbers on him, and he did feel that close to Vendra already. If she wanted to do this...
"Sasha says it's her job to make sure you are," Angela explained. "Well, as long as she stays Alpha female in the Pride."
And once again, Ratchet was reminded of a very simple fact about having a successful harem. As fun as it was in concept, and as much love was involved...in practice it was such a headache.
Ratchet sat back in the Great Clock, completely relaxed as he brushed Twilight's mane. Not that she needed him to do that anymore, but it was a relaxing activity for both of them that they chose to indulge in every so often. Qwark was nearby, playtesting new Qwark vidcomics based on their more recent adventures, with Clank watching on as he'd helped to program them. Nefarious was spending time with Vendra and Neftin, having reached the conclusion that Vendra was close to a full recovery. Kaden and Vashiir were also overlooking that group, as Sasha, Talwyn, and Angela had decided to join in to help Vendra feel more like the extended family. This left the four Sparkle-Gyros to themselves to relax.
Their relaxation was cut short, however, when Orvus approached them. "Ah, good, it's just the four of you," he observed cryptically. "Please meet me swiftly with Aphelion. The time has come." Before any of them could question him, he'd floated off.
Ratchet, Clank, Qwark, and Twilight exchanged confused glances. "That was cryptic," Qwark observed. "Think it's important?"
"Likely," Clank offered dryly. "I believe we should go to Aphelion with all speed. Father oversees all of time, so timing could be very important."
Nodding, Ratchet stood up, leading the group to the docks. Orvus floated beside Aphelion as they approached. "Good, you came quickly. Timing is quite important here." He gestured to Aphelion. "I have given her the coordinates you need. You should go post haste, the four of you alone at the moment. Others might follow later if they choose, when the time is right. For now, I bid you all a fond farewell. Until we meet again." With that, he vanished back into the Great Clock.
"What...what did he mean by that?" Ratchet demanded in confusion.
"Brother," Aphelion spoke up, "Orvus has given me what you need to keep your promise. All of you, get in."
Ratchet's eyes widened as he realized what that meant. Grabbing Twilight, he leapt into the cockpit, Clank and Qwark quickly following. Aphelion's canopy closed, and she lifted into the air.
"...you mean I wasn't full of it back on Mukow?" Qwark asked in surprise, causing Ratchet to facepalm and Twilight to burst into giggles.
"Estimated travel time...3 hours," Aphelion informed them. "Please relax and try to enjoy the upcoming flight..."
Before long, Aphelion exited her hyperspatial flight path, coasting back into normal space. "Approaching target destination," she informed everyone. "Maximizing magnification."
Everyone looked on in wonder as the world they were approaching was thrown into full relief. Blue oceans, green land masses, white clouds, soaring castles on mountain peaks, almost no signs of industrialization...it looked like a most idyllic medieval landscape. Each of them had their own reactions.
"It's...it's beautiful," Qwark observed as he wiped tears from his eyes, tracing the curve of continents with a finger. "I've never seen a world so...pristine."
"The energy flows..." Clank murmured softly. "If so much power infuses your world, Twilight, it is no wonder you are so strong."
"I kept my promise, Twilight," Ratchet whispered, letting his tears flow freely. "It took me more than a decade...but there it is. Your homeworld, just like I promised."
"Not quite," Twilight offered dryly, her voice sounding raspy as she struggled to contain emotion. As all eyes turned to her, she pointed to the small sun and moon that moved slowly around the planet. "Daddy, you said my planet orbited a star, not the other way around."
The other three blinked for a time, and then all four burst into laughter.
"This may not be a laughing matter," Aphelion observed worriedly. "The gravitational fields of this geocentric system are unlike any I have ever encountered. I am having difficulty maintaining a steady course."
"Twilight, can you use your magic to help steady us?" Ratchet asked quickly. When there was no answer, he turned. "Twilight? Twilight!"
Twilight had inexplicably slumped to the floor unconscious. Her vital signs and nanotech level were stable, but she was completely unresponsive.
"Brother, we need to do something!" Aphelion warned. "If I am unable to adapt to the gravitational fields, I am going to crash, and present course takes us into a highly populated sector of the planet! Not to mention the density of the atmospheric envelope will damage my outer hull if I enter at this steep angle, and I will not be able to protect you all!"
"What about the moon?" Ratchet asked desperately, pointing to the small, magically charged satellite. "Can we land there?"
"...affirmative," Aphelion confirmed, changing course. "It won't be a gentle landing, but there aren't any settlements there, and I am detecting an M class atmosphere. We should be fine while I adapt my systems and Twilight recovers from whatever has caused her to lose consciousness. Brace for impact."
The reflection of light off Aphelion's hull made it seem as though four dots of light converged into the moon as she crashed, managing to avoid most damage to herself and her passengers. However, the crash disturbed something, and a massive shadow erupted off the surface of the moon to flow to the planet below.
"I hope that wasn't important," Qwark murmured nervously.
"We'll deal with that later," Ratchet countered bluntly. "For now, we need to tend Twilight. Aphelion, open the canopy so we can-"
"That would be a bad idea," Aphelion warned. "Look!"
Before their very eyes, the planet's small sun shifted to behind the moon, plunging the world below into darkness while bathing Aphelion in unwinking light and heat.
"Environmental systems are at maximum," Aphelion spoke up softly. "I recommend everyone remain inside until this event passes."
"I hope it passes quickly," Ratchet fretted, stroking Twilight's mane worriedly. "This heat can't be good for her..."
A few hours later, the sun shifted back to the opposite side of the planet, once more letting the surface of the moon cool. A couple of hours after that, Twilight woke up. Unnoticed to the others, she walked to the top of the moon where she could stare at the planet below.
"Twilight!" Ratchet called out in relief as he rushed towards her. "You're alright!"
"I'm down there," she whispered softly in response.
"...eh?" Qwark asked, confused.
"I dreamed I was down there," she continued. "I had friends...and we fought a Nightmare...and I lived in a library..."
"While that sounds much like a dream life for you," Clank observed, "are you...entirely certain it was a dream?"
"What do you mean?" Ratchet demanded crossly.
"The Dimensionator could not take us here because of a temporal anomaly," Clank reminded them. "I believe that anomaly may have been the fact that Twilight had already been sent to Veldin, but hadn't already been sent there yet. And if I'm not mistaken, we've just set in motion the course of events that will lead to her being sent...and Twilight dreamed the first of those events, and will likely wake when her self on the world below sleeps, to tell us of the dreams as she reexperiences the events of her life for however long before she is sent."
"Then we can't go down...until the dreams end," Twilight observed sadly. She stared longingly at the world below...so close, but still beyond her reach.
The next few weeks moved strangely for the family of five up on the moon. It quickly became apparent that time moved differently on the moon than down on the planet's surface, as the pattern of day and night visibly shifted in minutes instead of hours. Every so often, Twilight would fall asleep for about a half hour, then regale them with tales of her antics on the surface with her friends...tales that plainly covered more than a half-hour's length of events. None of them were quite sure what was causing this, but they were grateful. In all likelihood, it meant they'd be able to travel to the surface that much sooner, with Twilight fully caught up on the events of her life.
Of course, there were a few surprise moments...
"Stripey rhyming mystic!" Twilight shouted as she woke up one time when she woke up, not long after her first 'sleep session'.
"What was that, Twi?" Ratchet asked in confusion.
"Blackwater said that he got the curse from a mystic with stripes who spoke entirely in rhyme, that told him to expect someone like me!" Twilight explained. "She's down there! Her name's Zecora, and she's a zebra!"
"A...zebra?" Qwark asked, stunned. "Wow, the diversity of life down there..."
"But how did she get to the Polaris sector?" Twilight demanded angrily. "Not to mention based on what Blackwater said, he got the curse before Zecora was born! And where did she learn it?"
"Not to belabor an obvious point," Aphelion spoke up softly, "but between the huge amounts of time energy inside me, your own full understanding of the curse, and the mental abilities you and Mom share...from you?"
Twilight groaned. "I am getting sick and tired of all these ontological paradoxes!"
"I have a big brother?" Twilight shouted as she woke from an hour long nap. That one the group had been certain would be significant, as the only other hour long naps had been the dreams of 'Nightmare Moon's return and a fight with a being known as Discord. As such, this shout seemed...out of place.
"I'm right here, you know," Qwark pointed out, hurt.
"I mean down there!" Twilight explained. "Shining Armor."
"Sounds like a knight," Ratchet observed softly.
"He is," Twilight explained. "Captain of the Royal Guard, my BBBFF apparently-"
"I thought that was me!" Qwark whined pathetically.
"-and he just married my old foalsitter, Cadence...who apparently is the Princess of Love," Twilight concluded. "Talk about a fairy tale..."
"Considering you're a magic, candy colored, talking pony from a world of medieval magic..." Ratchet joked teasingly.
"And the extra long dream state was for...attending a wedding?" Clank asked in confusion. "That...does not seem to follow the pattern..."
"Well, Cadence got replaced by a Changeling Queen who was trying to use the wedding as a way to take over Equestria so her armies could feed on the nation's love..." Twilight allowed.
"That makes much more sense," Clank agreed, glad that the theories they'd developed so far of how the magic in place seemed to be working were holding out. Otherwise, the only working theory was 'completely random', and that sounded too much like that Discord fellow.
The adventures Twilight had talked about seemed rather tame by comparison to what the family had been through together, although were in their own way reassuring. Hearing about Twilight's apparent first attempt at meddling with time made her previous endeavors much more impressive in hind sight. The strange temporal state also gave them an explanation as to why it seemed Twilight on the planet's surface had lived through fall, winter, and fall in a single year.
As time on the planet below approached what Clank calculated to be approximately a year since their arrival, it began to slow down. Day and night changed more slowly, and Twilight's dream sessions became proportionately longer, until it reached a one-to-one ratio. Clank's conclusion was that they were nearly at the point where Twilight below would be sent to Veldin of the past...which was concerning. While they were now approximately the same physical age, Twilight below was still a unicorn with no signs of incipient wing growth. Not only that, Aphelion had not repaired herself enough to enter the planet's atmosphere yet, which meant they had no way of getting to the planet's surface.
To add further complications, Twilight awoke from her latest dream with a startled scream.
"Twilight!" Ratchet called out, rushing to her side.
"I'm...I'm okay," she gasped out. "But...we need to get down there, now."
"That is not possible," Aphelion spoke up. "If I attempted to breach the atmospheric envelope in my current condition-"
"I have another idea," Twilight interrupted. "But if you've still got it, I'm going to need the pieces I saved of Dad's and my Dreadzone armor."
"What?" Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark all gasped out in shock.
"Just what do you have in mind?" Aphelion asked as she dispensed the requested fragments.
"I'm going to need a good amount of the Zoni energy you're charged with," Twilight added. She then glanced towards Qwark. "And a long rope..."
Celestia stared in shock and horror at the empty space in the ethereal plane. When she'd felt Twilight enter this plane, she'd made haste to her side to guide her through what would happen. The Elements had triggered Twilight's transformation to alicorn, a traumatic process if someone who knew what they were doing wasn't there to guide them through it. Celestia had helped Twilight adjust mentally by going over everything that had happened in her life, putting her in a relaxed mental state. Then had come the spells.
First had been a rejuvenation spell, which would restore full life to every cell of Twilight's being. The second was a magical adaption spell, to accelerate Twilight's adjustment to her new form, so her magic would behave as though she'd been born an alicorn. The third was a warp spell, meant to send her safely back to Ponyville so she didn't have to make her own way out of the astral plane, a tricky process at the best of times if one didn't know what they were doing.
Celestia had prepared these spells together, energizing them as Twilight's magic began her metamorphosis. However, just as the spells connected to Twilight's magical aura, the unthinkable had happened.
Celestia had sneezed. The reflexive jerk of her entire body had poured an excess of magic from her into Twilight. Now, all that was left was a scorch mark on the starry road of the astral plane.
Celestia felt the tears beginning in her eyes. As far as she could tell with all her senses, Twilight was...gone. Her precious student, one she'd come to love and care for over the years teaching her, one she was overjoyed to welcome into the rather exclusive alicorn race...was no more.
Turning her eyes to Ponyville, Celestia shouldered her grief as best she could, holding it at bay. Twilight's friends...Spike...they needed to know, and she needed to be strong. She warped herself there, and saw them gathering. "My little ponies," she began slowly. "There's...something I need to-"
"Sister!" That bellow always cut off any discussion, even when it wasn't using the Royal Canterlot Voice. "Sister, I have news!"
"As do I, Luna," Celestia chided gently. "And I'm afraid-"
"Sister, they have returned!" Luna interrupted.
Celestia went pale. There was only one race of beings in all the knowledge of Equestria's history - even the forbidden old tomes of that which officially did not happen - that was ever called 'they'. "Are...are you certain?"
"The energy signals are unmistakable, and descending from my moon!" Luna confirmed. "And...He has aided them! His energy is also unmistakable!"
Celestia swore under her breath. Them...allied with Him? The potential for disaster was insane. "I don't suppose there's a magical signature as well?" she asked, exploring the only thing that could possibly make the situation even worse than it already was.
"An exceptionally powerful one!" Luna confirmed. "One that rivals - neigh, dwarfs - Starswirl's!"
Celestia sank to the ground, the news having cast aside any sense of propriety. "So Lombaxes with access to magic and time travel...yes, Luna, I'd say the end of the world as we know it certainly trumps my news about Twilight." I guess I'll be with you soon, little shining star...
"Wait, something happened to Twilight?" Luna demanded in shock.
"What happened to her?" Rainbow added fiercely.
Fluttershy whimpered in terror over the 'end of the world' comment. Rarity fainted dramatically onto her couch. Applejack stared up at the star that glowed ever brighter as it descended towards them.
Pinkie began to contort violently. "Oh boy, another doozy! I was wondering what Daddy was always talking about-"
The shooting star blazed over them in an arc of silver light as the sky shattered behind it, followed by a long drawn out scream. The silver winged figure arced up before coming in to land lightly in front of the group. The green figure following behind them bounced several times before crashing into Town Hall. "I'm okay!" it called out in a masculine, goofy sounding voice. Town Hall then collapsed on top of him. "...less okay!" he called out, extending an arm out of the rubble to offer a green clad thumbs up.
The equine figure chuckled softly, her silver and blue armor gleaming in the colors of Zoni energy. The figure on her back - garbed in similar armor - dismounted, revealing itself to be a Lombax with a lunchbox shaped robot on its back. The armored alicorn mare caused her helmet to retract, revealing a very familiar lavender face. "And this is Ponyville, Dad," she explained to the Lombax, gesturing to the town.
Celestia stared in total stupefaction. On the one hoof, Twilight was back safe and sound, successfully an alicorn. On the other hoof, she apparently had access to Lombax tech and Zoni magitech. There was only one appropriate response Celestia could think of as she stared at the wonder and disaster about to unfold. "...keskefuk?"
As Twilight turned, she found her friends - they were her friends, she had relived her time with them - staring at her in amazement. "T-Twi?" Applejack finally spoke up. "Is...is that really you?"
Twilight smiled softly. "More or less," she confirmed. "I am Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn who befriended you all and went on all those adventures together." She flexed her wings. "I admit, these are new...I guess. Lot of other things are new, too-"
"Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!" Rainbow squealed, dashing up to Twilight's side as she examined her spread wings. "Look at these babies! When did you find time to get them this strong? And how'd you get armor to fit the individual feathers? Heck, where'd you get this futurey armor?" She started flapping all around Twilight, trying to look at her from all angles.
"Goodness, darling, you look just like a Princess!" Rarity crowed eagerly. "Admittedly, a sci-fi warrior princess..."
"That's because she is a Princess," Celestia spoke up, trying to once more get a hoof-hold on the situation. "Things are just...more complicated than anticipated." She stepped forward, looking Twilight over carefully, looking to see if this was indeed the same filly she'd helped raised, taught, and fished out of dozens of book forts over the years.
"Princess?" Twilight asked, rather nonplussed. "Really?"
"Tis true," Luna confirmed. "You have achieved apotheosis through creating new magic derived from Friendship in completing Starswirl's last spell. The energy reaction catalyzed the alicorn potential within you, triggering your ascension to the Astral Plane." She glanced towards Celestia. "Sister hastened there to guide you through the ascension process, to gentle it. However, something appears to have interfered with that, and the magic she was going to use to guide you back. Any ideas what it was, sister?"
"I'll tell you later," Celestia whispered quietly, hoping to avoid humiliation on top of confusion and possible catastrophe.
"Umm...Twilight?" Fluttershy asked quietly. "Uh...who's the adorable kitty? And...why did you call him Dad?"
Before Twilight could answer, Pinkie spoke up. "Oh, that's Ratchet! He's a Lombax superhero and raised Twilight from infancy after she showed up on Veldin as an infant alicorn somehow. They've saved the entire universe together several times."
"How can you possibly know-" Clank began.
"Hey, I know you!" Ratchet spoke up suddenly, pointing at Pinkie. "When I was in that drug induced hallucination back on that medical outpost, I wound up here and you told me I wasn't supposed to be here yet! But you were smaller then!"
Pinkie giggled happily. "Yeppers! Daddy told me all about your adventures together on his visits, so I knew you weren't supposed to be here back then." She idly batted at her mane with one hoof, shaking loose a charm that had on it what Ratchet and Twilight recognized as a properly processed sewer crystal.
Twilight's eyes popped wide. "You're the daughter the Plumber told me to say hi to when next I saw you?" she gasped out. She then blinked, running over things in her mind. "You know in hindsight, that explains so much...one way or the other."
"Wait, I was right about saying she looked like a 'sci-fi warrior princess'?" Rarity asked in surprise.
"Warrior Vice President, actually," Qwark spoke up as he staggered over. "Greetings. I am Captain Qwark, President of the known universe, many time hero of many galaxies, and Twilight's BBBFF." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out an apple. "Bah-weep-graaaaagnah wheep nini bong!" he proclaimed as he offered the apple to Applejack. Twilight promptly facehooved.
Applejack managed a small smirk. "Well, shucks. An apple from another world..." She reached under her stetson and pulled out a Sweet Apple Acres apple. "Uh...what you said," she stated as they swapped apples, each digging in.
"See!" Qwark proclaimed to Clank around a mouthful of apple. "Told you the universal greeting always worked, Mom! Ooh, this is tasty!" He proceeded to devour the apple rather messily, making Applejack chuckle as she enjoyed hers, saving the seeds for later investigation.
"...Mom?" Luna asked carefully, glancing between Qwark, Clank, and Twilight.
"We're a very strange family," Ratchet allowed. "And it's a very long story."
"Reunion-ascension-coronation-storytelling Party-Sleepover-Celebration-Royal-Bonanza!" Pinkie proclaimed eagerly, leaping into the air surrounded by a burst of confetti. "Wow, I'm gonna need a huge banner for all those words...and a giant cake. Better go multi-layer sheet. Glad Dad told me their favorite flavors!" With that, she dashed off.
Twilight glanced towards the Golden Oak Library. "As much as I'd like to, I don't think there's room in there for all of us...unless I started tweaking its internal spatial dimensions. Looks like I could add some of Aphelion's tech, has the right anchors..." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "SPIKE!"
Spike came running out of the library. "Twilight!" he called out worriedly, coming to a halt a few feet from her, staring at her in awe. "T-Twilight? Is...is it really-"
"Spike, take a memo," Twilight spoke up, completely in the zone. "I'm going to need a half ton of copper wire, 20 pounds of high grade mana crystals, three ounces of acornite..." She continued to list off esoteric ingredients and item requirements as she stared at the library.
Spike simply smiled. "Yeah, it's you," he confirmed warmly, rushing forward to hug her around one leg.
She returned the embrace with a wing. "It's good to see you too, Spike," she replied, nuzzling his head. "Oh, better add three etheric generators to that list-oh wait, I'm going to have to invent those. Tech here's not up to that level..."
Chuckling, Spike whipped out scroll and quill, rapidly filling out the entire list.
"Or we could hold this here shindig at mah barn," Applejack suggested. "Got room fer everyone there."
"I suppose I can hold off on breaking reality to give myself more space until after everyone's filled in on pertinent details," Twilight allowed.
"Did I hear someone mention breaking reality?" Discord asked suddenly, unrolling from a nearby tire swing. "I hope no one's infringing on my-" He froze as he took in Twilight's changed appearance and the presence of Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight. Grinning widely, he snapped his talons, pulling Aphelion out of the ether from the moon. "Oh Celestia, all this and it isn't even my birthday!"
"Hey Aunt Aphelion!" Twilight spoke up happily. "How's adjustment to the environment?"
"Smoothed along quite well after the chaos flux brought me here without adapting to the atmospheric envelope," Aphelion responded happily as she finished her repairs.
"And...this is?" Luna asked curiously.
"Aphelion was my Dad's ship," Ratchet explained. "She was a prototype of what would have been a series of ships with an Artificial Soul program, meant to enable them to think like an organic at robotic speeds. It was meant to breach the gap between organic and synthetic life, by creating an AI machine that could have instinctive, gut reactions."
"And then Twilight super-repaired and upgraded her by bombarding her with the energies of 117,000 Zoni," Qwark added happily. "She's so cool now! She can even transform into a super robot form!"
Celestia groaned, rubbing her forehead. "So in addition to Twilight now having access to Lombax tech and Zoni Magitech, Discord's going to sit back and enjoy the show and you just told me she's accompanied by the equivalent of a man-made god. I love her to death as my student, but I know her! Anything else you'd care to enlighten me to before I suffer a nervous breakdown?"
"She has this other form called Dark Star she calls her Nightmare that comes out when she suffers sufficient emotional trauma," Qwark offered helpfully. "Like when she gets zapped by a ray meant to reduce aggressive impulses except the battery's in backwards, or when she's been tortured by science, or if she gets angry enough about someone restricting knowledge..."
"She quantumnly entangled her brain with herself once to resurrect three dead family members, and in the process created an ontological paradox that repaired the space-time rift the Great Clock was created to contain," Clank added impishly.
Celestia blinked several times. "...Applejack?"
"Uh...yeah, Princess?" Applejack asked nervously.
"How much for all the reserve cider on your farm? I feel I will need it tonight."
Applejack stared, eyes wide. "Uh..."
"Oh, just put it on my tab, Granny knows I'm good for it."
Twilight and the others stepped off the Friendship Express as it came to a halt at the Crystal Empire. Celestia was still wearing shades to avoid wincing at her own sunlight, and Luna was poorly hiding mirth at her sister's expense. Everyone had heard out the tales of Twilight's adventures, though she'd only gotten as far as the revelation of the Dimensionator. As soon as she'd finished explaining what it did, Celestia had started chugging whole barrels of cider, and the reunion had devolved into the sort of party one expected to be attended by members of a fraternity, rather than royal dignitaries...mostly because dignity was nowhere in sight.
When the day dawned bright and clear, Celestia had looked out at the world, mumbled, "Still here...guess we're gonna be okay," and started talking about what would need to be done now that Twilight was a Princess. The conversation had been...enlightening.
"We really should make our way to Canterlot," Celestia observed as she put shades on to shield her eyes - sensitive as they were at the moment - from the light of her sun. "There is the coronation to plan-"
"Pass," Twilight responded immediately. "Mom and Dad aren't in Canterlot at the moment, so I'm going to head to the Crystal Empire to see Shining and Cadence."
Celestia blinked in surprise. "Well, there is a Princess Summit being hosted there soon, but the nobles will throw a fit if a new Princess appears and isn't coronated properly, with all the surrounding pomp and circumstance."
"Let them, the spoiled upstarts," Luna grumbled irritably.
"Really, Luna-"
"I'm with Luna on this one," Twilight interrupted Celestia. "I don't recall liking any of them - save Fancy Pants and Fleur - so why should I want to let them make a fuss over me? If they feel I'm snubbing them and want to complain, then they can kiss my well-toned flanks." She smirked to herself. "I've been told by trusted sources that they are quite kissable."
Celestia wondered how long it would take before she got used to being gobsmacked by Twilight's changes. She wasn't sure which caught her by greater surprise here: that she interrupted her; that she voiced disagreement with her; or that she spoke so calmly of sexual matters. 'Whatever happened to the sweet little filly who blushed prettily at the mere discussion of kissing?' she thought silently to herself.
'She grew up,' her wiser self observed.
'And how!' a different part of her mind observed.
'Shush!' she scolded herself.
"While I can't disagree with your assessment," Luna spoke up, "it is hardly the best start to your reign. It won't do much to warm you to your subjects-"
"Spike, take a letter to Fancy Pants," Twilight spoke up. Spike immediately pulled out scroll and quill. "Lord Fancy Pants, this is Twilight Sparkle. I am certain you remember me, both from my time in Canterlot as Princess Celestia's student and from that time my birthday party and your garden party intersected. If nothing else, my dancing was hard to forget." She flushed a bit as that brought several giggles from listeners. "I am certain rumor will have reached you before this letter...and it is true that I am now a newly ascended Princess. As you knew me personally from before, I can trust you to deliver this message to the nobles of the Court. Please inform them that my exact words are that I can't make time for an official coronation as I am too busy becoming accustomed to the duties and responsibility being a Princess bring with it to take time to let anyone treat me like one. Thank you for this favor. Sincerely, Princess Twilight Sparkle."
Spike smiled as he finished the letter, sending it off on a plume of dragonfire. Celestia stared, once more completely gobsmacked.
"And now you know why she made such a good VP!" Qwark spoke up happily.
And now the group was in the Crystal Empire, looking forward to a quiet reunion with Cadence and Shining Armor so Twilight could explain to even more of her family what had happened to her. From the way things had been going, Celestia wouldn't be surprised if it ended the same way yesterday's gathering had.
As she saw Twilight and Cadence perform their ladybug greeting, followed by Shining and Cadence' stunned reactions to the new members of the family, Celestia wondered what the state of the Crystal Empire wine cellar was.
Sunset Shimmer paused as she stepped out of the mirror portal, once more a unicorn. She kept her cloak up to hide her features, as the last thing she wanted was to be recognized by Princess Celestia when she was stealing the Element of Magic. Carefully, she made her way through the halls towards the room where she could feel the Element from. However, her dedication to stealth quickly seemed fruitless as she saw something she'd never thought she'd see.
Princess Celestia and a dark blue alicorn she didn't recognize were swaying together down the hall, bottles of fine wine held precariously in their wings as they staggered along singing a song they'd obviously learned from Canterlot Castle's head chef, a Scottish Highland ram.
"Now the scotsram woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees..."
Sunset Shimmer quickly went the other direction, torn between being enraged at seeing Celestia celebrating something that eagerly, confused at the identity of the other alicorn, and scandalized at seeing Princess Celestia inebriated.
Eventually, she reached the room she was searching for, seeing the crown she wanted on the nightstand. She carefully made her way over, reaching into her saddlebags to fish out the fake she was swapping it with. The swap happened without problems as she pocketed the Element and turned to leave-
"Zurkon the Bearded thinks you should put the crown back, squishy pony."
That robotic voice caused Sunset Shimmer to yelp, backpedaling away from the floating robot. "What the fuck?"
"Who the hell are you?" another stranger alicorn demanded from the bed as she sat up, armor spreading out over her body as she yanked out something that resembled a long, technical tube.
"Is that an anti-tank rifle?" Sunset screamed in fear, before ducking as a shot rang out. The charged particles punched a hole through the crystal wall of the castle and kept going. "Shit, that's an anti-tank sniper rifle!" Sunset yelped before taking to her hooves.
"GET BACK HERE!" the lavender alicorn screamed as she pursued, hauling out a different weapon that resembled a futuristic rocket launcher before discharging its payload towards Sunset Shimmer.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" Sunset screamed as she ran back towards the mirror, nearly tripping over Celestia as she lay sprawled across the hallway.
Celestia let out a loud snort. "Naw, Sunset..." she mumbled somewhere between drunkenly and sleepily. "I dun' do that wit my students...I'm not Starswirl..."
This brought both Sunset and the lavender alicorn to a screeching halt. "...wow," Sunset murmured in stunned amazement. "You think you know a legendary unicorn after studying him for years..."
"So many questions..." the lavender alicorn murmured. She then blinked. "Hey! That's my Element in your bag!" She swung the rocket launcher towards Sunset.
Sunset screamed in terror and teleported away, only for the explosion of the rocket to knock her flat, sending the crown through the portal. Sunset quickly scrambled after it.
As the chaos finally brought everyone there, Twilight turned to Celestia. "So...what's this mirror-portal thing, and who's Sunset?"
"...and that's the last I saw of her," Celestia finished her explanation of who Sunset Shimmer was and the nature of the mirror portal. "Now, I can understand if this comes as a shock-"
"Definitely going to need the Blasters," Twilight muttered to herself as she opened compartments of her armor, loading different armaments into them. "And the Protosuit, just in case..."
Celestia blinked nervously. "And I'm afraid I don't know much about the nature of the world beyond the portal," she cautioned. "All I do know is that magic does not naturally pass through the mirror while active-"
"So the world's not likely to have much in the way of magic," Twilight allowed, loading up her Peacemaker rocket launcher and Omniflux Rifle. "Kinda figured, considering Sunset was handling the Element by hoof rather than with her magic. She's probably out of practice, so I can assume I won't have magic there either. Probably can count on the Netherbeast not functioning well there either, so I'll go with the Netherblades." She hefted the weapon, revving the razor sharp discs inside. "Just in case I need to clear a room."
Celestia swallowed. "Twilight, I do still care greatly for Sunset, and would prefer she not come to harm as a result of this-"
"I already packed the Mag-Net Cannon!" Twilight chided. "I even tweaked it so it'll only zap her if she struggles. She's bound to have the sense not to try and force her way out of a lightning cage without magic or armor, right? Now, what else...?"
"Some holo-barriers and the Tesla Shield, perhaps?" Clank suggested diffidently.
"Oh, good idea!" Twilight agreed as she loaded those up. "Also some Groovitrons, and my wrench-saber. And an Eyeshard I grew in my lab in the library to boost my armor's comm signal so I can hopefully keep in contact with Aphelion across dimensions." She stood up, flaring her wings. "I'm ready to go."
"Ya ain't plannin' on going alone ah hope!" Applejack spoke up quickly.
"Yeah!" Rainbow crowed. "A new world, new adventure? We're right behind you, Twi!"
Before any of the others could speak up, Twilight cut them off. "Not a good idea," she warned. "If I have to pull out any of these armaments, none of you have any protection from them, and I'm not used to having to watch out for friendly targets. I could accidentally shoot one of you. I'm not going to risk it. Spike and I will be fine on our own."
"So you'll risk shooting me?" Spike asked, torn between nervousness and upset.
"Of course not!" Twilight countered as she levitated Spike onto her back. "You're going to stay right here and watch my back, just like Mom does for Dad." She jerked her head towards Clank and Ratchet.
"That's going to take so much getting used to," Shining Armor whispered to Cadence, who nodded in reply.
"Can't I go with you?" Qwark pleaded hopefully. "Please?"
"You're bigger than the portal, BBBFF," Twilight pointed out. "You wouldn't fit."
"I could crouch!" Qwark whined.
"Stay and bond with Shining," Twilight instructed firmly.
Qwark sighed, nodding acceptance.
Celestia breathed a sigh of relief. At least she didn't have to forbid anyone else from going for fear of 'destabilizing the balance between the worlds'. She doubted she'd be able to float that by this new Twilight without qualms. In all likelihood, it would likely lead to Twilight experimenting with said balance. "You will need to hurry," she warned carefully. "The portal will only remain open for three days, and then close for another 30 moons. If you aren't back by then-"
"Dad, my designs for the Dimensionator Installation are are in my bags!" Twilight called out to Ratchet. "Install the mirror in it. That should let us open the portal whenever if this takes me too long. Wish I could make the hat, but the tech just doesn't exist here to miniaturize the circuitry properly."
Celestia blinked several times. "...President Qwark, how streamlined would my government become if I gave Twilight the reigns for say...a week?"
"Given what you said about the balance of power at the moment, you and your sister would probably be obsolete figureheads by the third day with most things taking care of itself," Qwark allowed. "Of course, by the fifth day the nobles more interested in lining their pockets than discharging their responsibilities would be fomenting a revolution to overthrow her...and by the sixth day you'd have a much smaller noble caste...which would count towards that efficiency bit."
"Not enough booze in the world, is there sister?" Luna asked forlornly. Celestia nodded in sad agreement.
Thus properly prepared, Twilight stepped through the portal.
Twilight groaned as she pushed herself off the ground and quickly took stock of herself. Okay...shift of center of gravity, my body's been changed. Forehooves wriggle a lot...those are hands. Weight on the upper torso without the feeling of muscle... She opened her eyes and glanced down at herself. Yup. Those are tits. Looks like I'm humanoid... Getting to her feet, she glanced over herself. Okay...by all accounts, aside from retaining my usual coloring, I'm human. So I gotta keep an eye out for Spike's human form-
"T-Twilight?" Spike's voice asked nervously from below. "Is...is that you?"
Twilight turned with a smile...only for that smile to fall as she caught sight of Spike. "...I'm gonna need to reprogram that portal," she grumbled irritably. "It's specist. It turned you into a tiny dog!"
"It what?" Spike asked in shock, spinning to take a look at himself. "Well nevermind that! Look at you!"
"I have been!" Twilight proclaimed proudly as she looked over herself. Her white armor fit her new frame like a second skin, the blue lines glowing with Zoni energy. It shaped almost uncomfortably well to every inch of muscle in her arms and legs, her flat stomach, and the balanced swells of T&A. The helmet retracted, setting her long flowing tresses free to wave in a nonexistent wind.
"You...you look..." Spike gasped out.
"Hot!" Twilight concluded, tapping a button on her shoulder to eject a camera pod to snap a few photos as she posed in such a way to enhance the look, basing it on the poses Sasha took in the pictures she'd given Ratchet when she went to become President of Solana. "Wait till Mervin sees these..." she purred, reveling in the mental image of his jaw falling off again.
"Uh...Mervin?" Spike asked nervously.
"I'll introduce you later," Twilight promised. She then tapped a button over her left breast. "Aphelion, do you read?"
"Loud and clear, Twilight!" Aphelion called out through the speaker. "And I've locked onto the dimensional signature of your signal origin. Failing all else, I can retrieve you myself if need be."
"Can you give me a general location of my Element?" Twilight asked eagerly, looking forward to this new adventure.
"The signal's rather diffuse, but it's coming from somewhere in that building in front of you."
Twilight looked up, feeling her enthusiasm wane as she read the words 'High School' on the sign in front of the building. "...of course..."
Twilight slowly stalked her way towards the school, definitely not looking forward to being inside a standardized education system after hearing Nefarious tell 'horror stories' of his own experience with it. Still, the crown was in there somewhere, and she would have to find it.
"So...Princess Celestia said to be careful," Spike spoke up from the harness she'd projected from the back of her armor suit. "Does that mean we're going to be taking a low profile?" He glanced around, noticing the stares they were getting and the more casual look of the outfits other humans were wearing compared to Twilight's 'sci-fi future space warrior' garb. "Cause if we are, I think we should get started right away-"
"Nope," Twilight interrupted as she strode ahead. "No low profile. I'm not going to pretend to be some sort of student. I'm going to walk right through the school, find Sunset Shimmer or someone in charge, demand my crown back, and leave. If I have to deal with Sunset Shimmer, threats of force should suffice. If I have to deal with someone in authority, I'll just prove to them I'm not native to this world. My tech should suffice for that." She paused as she noticed the door to the school didn't swing open in response to her approach. "Guess I'll have to start now, the door's jammed." She reached for her Fusion Grenade launcher.
"Or you could pull," Spike offered quickly, pointing to the label on the door.
Twilight lowered her hands. "...manual doors. This world is surprisingly low-tech for a non-magical world..." Grumbling under her breath, she pulled the door open and walked inside, searching for a sign of who she should address to get what she wanted done as quickly as possible.
To her surprise, it wasn't long before something caught her eye. A girl with orange skin and red-and-yellow hair was giving a girl - who remarkably resembled Fluttershy except for being a human - a hard time. Given her own transformation, Twilight assumed this either was Fluttershy or a trans-dimensional equivalent.
"I'm really sorry," Fluttershy was mumbling in a whimper. "I...I just found it and I thought I should give it to her...I...didn't know you had dropped it..."
"Well, I did!" the red and yellow haired girl responded, her voice confirming to Twilight that it was Sunset Shimmer. "And I was about to get it before you swooped in and ruined everything-"
Twilight decided at this point to intervene. "Don't talk to her that way...Sunset Shimmer!" She stormed forward.
Sunset turned with a smirk on her face, a smirk that lost a great deal of its confidence as she caught sight of Twilight's armored form. "And if I don't?" she demanded pugnaciously.
"Then I'm a deck you in the schnoz!" Twilight proclaimed, quoting one of Qwark's favorite old videos. As Sunset quickly covered her nose, Twilight blinked. "Oh, that's the schnoz!" Lunging forward, she slammed her fist into Sunset's gut, making her fold over the punch.
Sunset coughed a few times. "W...why you-" she began, only to stop talking as her eyes widened. Even with an unfamiliar design, she recognized the shape of a gun barrel when it was pressed into her sternum.
"You and I are going to find someplace private to talk," Twilight whispered in Sunset's ear, "or I'm going to start perforating your intestinal tract. Celestia wanted me to keep you alive and in one piece. I think 'patched up good as new' is good enough. How about you?"
Sunset Shimmer swallowed convulsively. "I...I know a place," she whispered back. "But...it's gonna be hard to explain it, unless you have a suggestion?"
"To explain why we want privacy?" Twilight clarified as she noticed Spike sniffing at Sunset and wrinkling his nose. When Sunset nodded, Twilight smirked. "I can think of a way," she said as an HUD briefly slid over her right eye.
"Really?" Sunset asked curiously. "Wha-MMMPH!" Her words were cut off as Twilight grabbed her by the shirt collar and pulled her into a sudden passionate kiss.
A loud "Meep!" followed by the sound of something falling to the floor informed Twilight that human Fluttershy wasn't going to be a problem in this case. Pulling back, Twilight smirked up at Sunset. "Now...that private place?"
Nodding, Sunset turned to lead the way.
It wasn't long before Twilight, Sunset, and Spike were in an infrequently used chamber in the clock tower, which plainly had been made somewhat comfortable, complete with makeshift bed. Twilight didn't have to think much to realize this was where Sunset had been living since she didn't have an identity in this world. It seemed comfortable enough, but not really to Twilight's interests. "Now, how about we start with you answering some of my questions?" she asked firmly, Blaster still in her hand.
"Of course," Sunset agreed quickly. "But...can I just say something before we do?"
Twilight shrugged her shoulders. "Sure."
"Out there in the hall...that was so hot!" Sunset purred, blushing.
Twilight blinked in surprise. "The...kiss?"
"Well, that too," Sunset admitted. "But I meant everything before it. I mean, most ponies back in Equestria are such...the word here is pansies. I mean, the most commonly used weapon is a pie. None of them would dare cross Princess Celestia. But you just come right up to me and threaten to shoot me and patch me up to get what you want, and..." Her cheeks flushed even brighter as she wriggled slightly.
Twilight sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Ah, thought that was it. You're heavily aroused by the demonstration of power, aren't you?"
Sunset's blush brightened. "Yeah...Mo-...the Princess always wondered why I preferred minotaur and griffon...material."
Twilight said nothing for a time as she processed everything she'd managed to pick up. She was about to speak again, but was stopped as her communicator screeched at her.
"Twilight, are you there?" Nefarious screeched out. "I'm coming to get you, don't worry-"
Twilight put her hand to the comms. "Nefarious, I'm fine! There is literally nothing in this world that's a threat to me. Technology is just barely above what's available in Equestria relative to mine, and there's no magic to threaten me either."
"Oh...sorry," Nefarious apologized. "When I arrived and heard you went to a world without magic-"
"Who's that?" Sunset asked curiously.
"My boyfriend," Twilight explained. "Oh, that reminds me." Pulling out the camera drone, she downloaded the pictures she took of herself and sent them to Nefarious. "What do you think, Neffy?"
She was greeted with silence for a time. "W...where are you, Twi?" he finally gasped out.
"I'll tell you in a bit," Twilight responded. With an impish grin, she grabbed Sunset and pulled her into a one-armed embrace before snapping a picture of them both and sending that picture. "And what do you think of her?"
"...and I thought I was evil, you wicked witch!" Nefarious finally responded in a teasing voice.
"You never know," Twilight responded cheekily. "By the way, she was Celestia's previous personal student."
"...I'm going to shut up before I say something that has you taking my junk away," Nefarious whimpered before cutting contact.
Twilight chuckled softly as Sunset stared. "Take his...junk away?" Sunset gasped in shock.
"He turned himself accidentally into a robot before I met him," Twilight explained. "The process didn't preserve the soft tissue, but did keep the software neural connection, so once we got physical I gave him a new penis. Been upgrading it as we go, too." She pretended not to notice Sunset's adorable squeak. "Now...let's get to my questions..."
Twilight listened carefully as - at her request - Sunset detailed her story. Starting with Sunset becoming Celestia's personal student and living at the castle, running through her mastering every magic that was presented to her, leading to seeing a possible future of herself as an alicorn in the mirror...and the obsession that developed as a result. She showed no judgement or disgust as Sunset described how she went against Celestia's decisions regarding her education, deliberately studying from forbidden scrolls. She heard out how she had been banished from the castle, her home...and how she fled through the mirror.
Finally, she spoke up. "So...what was your plan at that point?" Twilight asked curiously.
"I...didn't have a plan at that point," Sunset admitted. "I had some vague idea about gathering power here for some sort of confrontation...but that went out the window as soon as I arrived and saw what this world was like. I...basically had to start from scratch just to make sense of the world, and establish some sort of power base I could use to keep myself safe. I wasn't exactly the nicest filly growing up - between being Princess Celestia's personal student and...other things, I didn't exactly care for my fellow ponies-"
"Not to mention most of them reacted to your own inclinations towards shows of strength with fear?" Twilight interpreted. "As I understand, the sort of attitude you find appealing hasn't been prevalent in Equestria since Nightmare Moon's banishment."
"Born in the wrong era, I guess," Sunset admitted. "But yeah, basically. So I knew how to wrap a school structure around me, so...I did what I had to do to ensure I would stay at the top, untouchable." She crossed her arms, not quite meeting Twilight's eyes. "I'm not proud of what I had to do, but I did it. I don't know if you can understand that-"
"I'm Vice-President of the known universe, Captain of a galaxy spanning crew of zombie robot pirate ghosts, one of my BBBFFs can warp his personal reality by the power of belief, and I once rewrote the laws of causality to resurrect dead family members without destroying the space-time continuum," Twilight interrupted. "Oh, and I'm dating the universe's greatest known surviving supervillain. I well understand the concept of 'unpleasant necessities', Sunset..." Her voice trailed off as she stared at Sunset's flushed face. "I should stop talking about my exploits, shouldn't I?"
"Unless you happen to have a spare set of panties, yes," Sunset whimpered softly.
"Aphelion?" Twilight spoke up. Light appeared over Twilight's hand, and she handed the folded fabric to Sunset. "I'd suggest waiting to change until we're done though, just in case there's any more slips."
"Like asking who Aphelion is?" Sunset asked cautiously.
"She's my aunt, but she's also a starship with an artificial soul program upgraded with the energies of 117,000 Zoni giving her the ability to warp space and time at will, drastically increase her interior dimensions independent of her exterior dimensions, and a robot combat mode-"
"Your aunt is a Cybertronian TARDIS?" Sunset gasped out in shock.
"...maybe?" Twilight allowed. "I'm not familiar with those terms..."
"I am!" Nefarious called out through the communicator. "I've been accessing this world's information network while waiting for you to be ready to return. Not only is that a highly accurate description of Aphelion, if Sunset knows the terms it means she's a total geek like we are!"
Sunset buried her face in her hands. "Being hyper intelligent and having good taste doesn't make me a geek," she complained.
"Sure it does," Twilight corrected. "But there's nothing wrong with being a geek. Now, what was your plan with stealing my Element?"
Sunset blinked, momentarily confused about the sudden shift of subject. She was beginning to wonder if she actually could keep up with Twilight intellectually. "I've been studying the Elements whenever I hopped through the portal when it opened. It only opens every 30 moons on the Equestria side, but it's a bit more random on this side...probably because the Sun and Moon aren't under the control of anybody, and the portal opens any time the Earth, Moon, and Sun are in the same position relative to each other as the 'once every 30 Moons' position on the other side...which is quite random, but also quite frequent. So...I'm a lot younger than I should be, not even including appearances."
"Magically, I'd scan you to be about my age," Twilight offered as she deactivated her HUD. "So...your plan?"
"When separated from each other dimensionally, the Elements can be activated independently," Sunset explained. "I figured I would have enough connection with the Element of Magic for it to unlock my potential if I activated it on this side, which in theory should have triggered an alicorn transformation."
"Bad idea," Twilight warned. "While it might have been successful, the sheer amount of magic that would have released - especially in a human body not adapted to magic - would not only have destabilized this world's energy fields, but also overwhelmed your psyche. In all likelihood, it would have triggered a Nightmare transformation, which would have burned out your reserves until you were left a husk...or at least burned out the alicorn aspect if it weren't stopped. The Elements were designed to work together specifically to stabilize such transformations."
Twilight nodded. "As I understand it, all alicorns have a darker aspect of themselves, representative of all their darkest impulses, worst fears, and hungers. Luna's was Nightmare Moon, driven primarily by her loneliness and jealousy of her sister." She looked away. "Mine, called Dark Star, is driven by rage and fear, against anyone who tries to take me away from my family. It's...part of my separation anxiety issues. I'm still learning to deal with those."
Sunset blinked a few times, then swallowed convulsively. "So...it's a good thing you stopped me, then?" she asked nervously.
"Definitely," Twilight confirmed. "I don't have access to the Elements over here, so if you underwent a Nightmare transformation, I'd have to hope lethal damage caused a reversion and not death...or at least a reversion in addition to death, I could probably have fixed the latter..."
"Is it too late to surrender to you utterly and completely?" Sunset asked hopefully.
"Only if I get to watch!" Nefarious called out through the comms.
"Nefarious!" Twilight snapped irritably. "She meant as a criminal for capture-"
"I could go either way," Sunset offered eagerly.
Twilight blinked several times. "...okay, I'm going to offer you two choices. First, I place you under arrest, go retrieve my Element, and bring you back to Celestia to face whatever punishment she chooses to lay on you."
Sunset swallowed convulsively. "What's...my second option?"
"I take you on as my student," Twilight continued. "I give you a communicator that can reach me through dimensions, and you stay here studying Friendship, magic, and science. I take my element back to Equestria, and provide you with the resources you'll need to deal with any other magical entities that might have passed through the portal to here from Equestria. Celestia mentioned something about Starswirl in regard to it, so there could be some old threats he dumped here."
Sunset blinked. "So...a delinquent/criminal, or super techno-mage paladin?" she asked in disbelief. "Way to make the choice difficult."
"Two important provisos about that second choice," Twilight cautioned. "First, everything you did to make yourself 'secure' here? If it involved damaging relationships or anything like that...you undo it and make it right, whatever the consequences."
Sunset winced. "Yeah...that's going to be-"
"I leave you leeway on determining how best to go about doing it," Twilight allowed. "Feel free to be political about it."
"Alright," Sunset allowed. "Sounds reasonable..."
"Second, it'll mean working for me, not Celestia," Twilight pointed out. "You won't be Celestia's student anymore, you'll be mine. I doubt if I'll ever end up going against Celestia in any sort of pitched battle...but politically we're likely to butt heads a lot in the future. You'll have to be on my side for that, not Celestia's."
Sunset sighed softly. "I...I think I can live with that."
Twilight smiled warmly. "Alright." She handed over what looked like a cell phone. "Here's the commlink. We'll talk as you get settled, and I'll send the tech through to you as you need it. For now, I'm going to go get my crown back."
"How do you intend to do that?" Sunset asked curiously. "it's currently in the display case as the crown for Fall Formal Princess. Going to try to win it?"
"Like I have time or patience for that!" Twilight countered dismissively. "I'm debating between finding the Principal and claiming that it's actually a family heirloom that accidentally got swapped with the actual crown - I assume that's the fake you left when you swiped it?" When Sunset nodded, Twilight continued. "Anyway, either a direct swap like that, or just smashing the glass, taking my crown, and threatening to blast anyone who gets in my way as I head back to the portal. Which do you think would be best?"
"Smash and blast!" Nefarious screamed out eagerly. "Smash and blast!"
"...as much as I'd love to see you do that," Sunset allowed, "that...wouldn't exactly help me manage to fix things here if everyone thought my 'girlfriend' was a violent gun-toting maniac."
Twilight pouted. "I'm not..." She paused in thought. "...that violent..."
Sunset stared blankly.
"I could do the smash and grab?" Nefarious suggested. "That would justify Sunset gathering the local equivalents of your friends into a secret 'defense force' so Harmony power could be utilized."
"Well, I did see the human version of Fluttershy," Twilight admitted.
Sunset winced. "The other Element Bearers - your friends - wouldn't happen to be Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie, would they?"
"I take it part of what you'll be fixing is their friendship?" Twilight interpreted firmly.
"...yeah..."
"Go for it, Nefarious," Twilight ordered. "Sunset can claim she barely managed to get the crown back from your attack, and she can use that as an excuse for a change in character as she goes about making things right...and then recruit them into that 'defense force'. Just make sure not to go back through the portal-"
"Already have a teleport set up!" Nefarious confirmed. "It'll self destruct after I go through! And I've got guns ready!"
"...Nefarious-"
"I'll make sure not to kill anyone!" Nefarious promised. "Just collateral damage!"
"But if you're taking the Element back-" Sunset began.
Smirking, Twilight handed over the actual Fall Formal crown. "Good luck, Sunset. If you do well, Nefarious and I will be sure to 'reward' you." She licked her lips suggestively.
"...don't suppose Aphelion could send me a few wet wipes, too?" Sunset whimpered.
Twilight smiled as she stepped out of the mirror as an alicorn once more, the Element of Magic upon her head. "Mission accomplished," she spoke up happily.
"So I see," Celestia observed as Twilight's friends and family crowded around her eagerly. "And...how is Sunset?"
Twilight frowned. "Before I answer that, I have a question to ask." Once silence fell, she continued. "At one point, Sunset had a slip and almost called you 'Mom'. Is that biological or legal?"
Celestia winced. "That's...complicated."
"Simplify it," Twilight demanded coldly.
"As far as Sunset knows, I adopted her," Celestia explained. "It's...better for her she doesn't know the other half of it...mostly because of how awkward explaining her true parentage would be." Seeing Twilight's gaze not letting up, Celestia sighed. "After Luna's banishment, I was...incredibly lonely. There was...one who was there with me, and...at my request, she temporarily became a he to comfort me. The result was...unexpected."
"So you had a child with someone who was normally female," Twilight concluded as others around gasped in shock. "I guess some would think that's a scandal, but I don't see why-"
"It was Philomena."
Rarity and Fluttershy both promptly fainted.
"Since she recognized your request, I presume she's fully cognizant and capable of giving consent?" Twilight clarified. At Celestia's confused nod, she shrugged. "Fair enough. What does that have to do with Sunset calling you Mom being complicated?"
"The resulting child was half pony, half phoenix," Celestia explained. "They lived a normal life as a normal pony until they died...at which point they underwent a burning day, and was reborn as a new pony. No old memories, completely new genetic code...but the same magic. This has happened to them several times. They've been unicorn, pegasus, earth pony...stallion, mare..." She lowered her head. "Only just recently did I track down her latest incarnation, and take her in as my personal student. Sunset never questioned why Philomena was so fond of her."
"...talk about a doozy," Pinkie Pie admitted, stunned.
"So I ask again," Celestia continued carefully. "How is Sunset?"
"Your daughter's hot," Twilight offered bluntly.
"Are you trying to give me a nervous breakdown?" Celestia whimpered softly.
Once Celestia had calmed down and Twilight had her fill of driving her crazy for the moment (which wasn't until they'd returned to the Ponyville library), Twilight gave the full story of what happened in the other world. Celestia...was not entirely approving, but Twilight could care less given she ran a successful universe in all but name. It was in the midst of the story that a nearby closet flared to light, and Nefarious stumbled out in his pony form. "Safe!" he called out happily.
"I think some introductions are in order," Twilight spoke up as she walked up to his side. "Nefarious, these are my friends of Equestria - Fluttershy-"
"Miss Disney," Nefarious concluded, making Fluttershy blink in shock.
"-Rainbow Dash-"
"Not much imagination on name, there," Nefarious jibed playfully.
"-Rarity-"
"Miss trying too hard," Nefarious teased, making Rarity lift her nose with an offended 'Hmph!'
"-Pinkie Pie-"
"The one that makes us look almost sane," Nefarious whispered as he hid behind Twilight.
"-and Applejack-"
"Can I drink her?" Nefarious asked eagerly.
"Say wut?" Applejack demanded, her eyes wide as she backed away slowly.
"Nefarious, behave!" Twilight snapped, smacking him in the back of his dome with a wing. She then continued her introductions. "This is Princess Celestia-"
"The one the bad guys try to kidnap to fight heroes, only to meet plumbers?" Nefarious quipped. "I read that message between you and Lawrence, you know."
"...I feel like I'm missing something," Celestia observed mildly. "Though at this point, I think I'm used to it." She reached for her tea.
"...my...thanks?" Luna offered nervously as Celestia pouted.
"-my old foal-sitter and sister-in-law, Princess Cadence-"
"Miss even-more-Disney," Nefarious interpreted. Cadence only giggled in response.
"-my BBBFF, Shining Armor-"
"Wow, not even trying to be subtle there," Nefarious observed.
"I...don't know how to respond to that," Shining observed, blinking.
"-and Spike."
"Mr. Underleveled," Nefarious concluded.
"I'm half Twilight's age, what's your excuse?" Spike countered quickly.
"Ooh, snarky!" Nefarious purred. "I like him!"
Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes. "Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Dr. Nefarious."
While most listening plainly weren't certain how to react, Rainbow Dash burst into laughter. "What'sa matter, Twi? Couldn't find yourself a boyfriend so you built one?"
"Hey!" Nefarious snapped angrily. "Twilight did not build me! My robotic form is the result of my genius in discovering a way to completely convert the biological to the robotic without neurological degredation or rejection!"
Luna's eyes widened in response. This seemed quite...intriguing.
"Yeah!" Twilight added. "The only part of him I built was his penis!"
Celestia promptly spat her tea all over Rarity's fainting couch. Rarity decided to faint dramatically another time, especially since Fluttershy had fainted for real.
"Twilight!" Nefarious grumbled. "Do you have to keep bringing that up?"
"What?" Twilight complained. "I thought you'd be proud of what a good job I did on yours. I mean, it's not every stallion whose pride can change shape and vibrate for added stimulation-"
"Woof," Cadence muttered under her breath, fanning herself as Rarity decided to faint dramatically on one of Twilight's couches. Noticing Shining's ears go flat, Cadence chuckled. "Now Shiny, dear, you know you don't need to be jealous."
"It's more I'm not sure I like someone who just screams 'I am a villain' in all but vocals dating my little sister," Shining grumbled.
"I AM A VILLAIN!" Nefarious screamed at the top of his cybernetic lungs, making Twilight facehoof. "Does that help, Knight boy?"
Shining snorted angrily. "Now listen here, I may not know everything about what she's been through, but she's still my sister! If you hurt her-"
"Clank's going to take whatever's left of me when she's through and rip it to pieces in the time vortex of the Great Clock to maximize how much he's able to make me suffer before my very essence degrades from excessive quantum strain," Nefarious interrupted. "Go ahead. Try and trump that intimidation."
Cadence chuckled indulgently. "Well, you must have made quite the impression on Twilight to have such a strong bond. How did you manage that?"
"Well, when I first expressed romantic interest in her, she said yes mostly because I was the only one outside family who she didn't have to dumb herself down to have a normal conversation with who would treat her like a fellow sophont, rather than some sort of divine being," Nefarious explained. "Comes with us being two of the three smartest sophonts in the known universe."
"Why did she not date the third?" Luna asked curiously.
"That'd be Vendra Prog," Twilight explained. "She was a villain too, but she's since been rehabilitated and is a member of Dad's harem, and Nefarious' adopted daughter."
"Spike, tell me there's some hard cider somewhere here I haven't drunk yet?" Celestia pleaded.
"Anyway, once the date had been agreed upon, I wanted to make it really special since I'd learned about some of the hard things she'd been through," Nefarious explained. "Qwark told me one thing that had long haunted her was the feeling she was the only one of her kind, so I started the date by showing her this." He tapped his equine physique. "Normally I'm bipedal, but I added a function to transform into an equine like her, complete with wings and horn, but a stallion, so she wouldn't feel alone that night. Also built a robo-pegasus-drawn carriage to take us to a castle I built on the side of the mountain for ballroom dancing." He glanced out the window. "Looks a lot like that place over there, but without the hanger-on houses," he said, pointing to Canterlot in the distance. "After that, we went to the dinner reservations I got for us at a fancy restaurant."
"...altered your entire physique to give her comfort, and built an entire fairy-tale castle just to try and give her a piece of a home she didn't remember at the time?" Cadence clarified. She rounded on Shining Armor. "Shiny, don't you dare try to get between them!"
"Hey, anyone who goes that far to try and make my LSBFF happy is alright in my book!" Shining Armor offered defensively. He offered a hoof to Nefarious. "Welcome to the family. Good luck keeping your sanity."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Twilight demanded irritably.
"That he knows you?" Nefarious offered teasingly as he accepted the hoof-bump. "No worries about that though, Knight-boy. I was insane long before I met Twilight."
"Though if part of you getting together was because you were both so intelligent and creative, I imagine things in the bedroom are quite...interesting?" Cadence asked carefully. "I mean, especially with the Villain-Princess dynamic."
"Well, there was that one time we traumatized Cthulhu," Nefarious began, ready to relate details of a particularly exciting interlude between the pair.
"Oh great Earth Mother, swallow me now so I don't have to hear this!" Celestia prayed fervently.
The floor of the library ripped open beneath Celestia and Luna, and black, thorny vines wrapped around them and dragged them into the ground before closing around them.
"...well that was convenient," Pinkie Pie observed playfully.
Twilight stared at the hole in her floor for a time, then turned to Discord. "I don't suppose you know anything about this?" she asked coldly.
Discord managed to look mortally offended. "Why Twilight, you wound me! Why would you assume I had anything to do with this...horrible event?"
"Actually, I just figured because you're the oldest being here, on the same power scale as Celestia and Luna if not higher, and weren't grabbed by the vines that you had encountered them before and at least knew enough to keep them from grabbing you," Twilight corrected. "I was asking for information. Though the fact that you assumed I assumed culpability on your part? That makes you look guilty."
Discord stared at her for a while, and then his grin split his face...literally. "Oh, you are such a treat!" he crowed happily. "I'm going to enjoy sparring with you." Pulling a rapier from his skull, he playfully brought it against Twilight's horn as though fencing.
"She's taken, and I'm not sharing with other guys!" Nefarious shouted out, wrapping his forelegs possessively around Twilight.
"Easily fixed," Discord joked as he snapped his eagle talons and took on...a more feminine appearance. "How's this?" Eris purred disarmingly enough to make one of Nefarious' arms fall off.
"...conflicting," Nefarious finally responded as he reattached his arm, only for Twilight to smack him in the back of his head with a wing.
"The vines?" Twilight repeated irritably.
"Oh, right," Discord replied as he changed himself back. "Sorry Twilight, but you and your beau are very distracting." He cleared his throat, handing the frog thus extricated to Fluttershy. "They're called Plunder Vines. They feed on powerful magic and skew the magical fields around them, sowing chaos. Don't trust your magic to function normally around them. And no, I don't know how to stop them. I planted them thousands of years ago shortly before Celestia and Luna sealed me in stone as a fail safe to ensure my release...but for some reason they only sprouted now. The reason they aren't attacking me is because I planted them, but that doesn't give me any control of them."
"That was...surprisingly forthright of you, Discord," Rarity observed in surprise.
"I'm so proud of you, Discord!" Fluttershy praised happily. "You've really come far."
"Must you make a fuss?" Discord whined. "There's another villain here! I want to look cool!"
"Do you have any more of the seeds?" Twilight asked curiously. "I can use them to isolate the energy wavelength of the vines and find out what was holding them back all this time. That should show us how to get rid of them in the now."
Smiling, Discord handed a handful of seeds to Twilight. "There you go."
"Hold these," Twilight stated as she handed half the handful to Nefarious. Donning her Pilot's Helmet, she surrounded the seeds with her magical field, creating the holoprojection of their molecular and magical structure.
"What are you going to do with these?" Nefarious asked, knowing this type of scan would destroy the sample when applied to the biological.
"I figure I can find a way to make them grow without thorns," Twilight explained. "That could be fun."
Rarity let out a dizzy gasp as she fainted dramatically.
"Wow," Rainbow stammered out. "I'm...not sure what to say to that."
"You and me both, pardner," Applejack agreed.
"Yeah...the less you know about that the better," Pinkie confirmed. "Trust me."
"...can I have a few if you manage it?" Fluttershy asked quietly, only to shrink as nearly all eyes turned towards her.
"Always the quiet ones," Shining murmured in shock.
"I'll take some too, Twilight!" Cadence called out eagerly.
"CADY!"
"I'll probably need a few too, Twi," Ratchet spoke up. "Vendra's turned the others kinky..."
"Maybe later," Twilight responded to everyone. "But won't you need to wait till they get here, Dad?"
"Oh I brought them with me," Nefarious spoke up. "They're waiting in Aphelion until things calm down."
"Then I'd better get things calmed down for the reunion," Twilight concluded as she dropped the magical field. "Looks like we'll need the Elements of Harmony, girls...and we're heading into the Everfree."
As each of the other girls responded with cheers, coos, or other noises to reflect their view of these events, Applejack approached Twilight. "Twi...could ah speak to ya privately?"
"By any chance is it about asking me to stay behind while the five of you scout the forest because with Celestia and Luna missing, Equestria can't afford to lose another Princess?" Twilight deduced.
Applejack gaped at her, then lowered her hat over her eyes. "Shucks...am ah that transparent?"
"Actually, I just assumed someone would raise that objection, and you were the only one asking to talk privately," Twilight explained. "Politically, the idea is sound...but there are three practical reasons why I won't be following it, aside from doing anything purely for political reasons being stupid."
"...o...kay?" Applejack asked in confusion, not entirely sure she was following.
"First, we need the Elements of Harmony for this," Twilight pointed out. She tapped the Element on her crown. "Who did you intend to get to wield this if I'm 'safe' back here in Ponyville? Sunset Shimmer?"
"She probably could, if we had the portal open by now," Nefarious pointed out.
"Actually, ah figured we could come back for ya once we had a safe path," Applejack countered with a frown.
"Good counter argument, but it leads to my second point," Twilight continued. "Safe path to where? I'm going to be following a magic trace, and only wearing the Element of Magic is going to keep my magic stable long enough to follow it."
"...fair point..." Applejack allowed.
"And third, I'm the only one who can use Plan B if the Elements fail," Twilight concluded.
"What's Plan B?" Pinkie asked curiously.
"B stands for 'Blow Everything Up'," Twilight answered with a wide grin.
"I like the sound of that!" Rainbow crowed eagerly.
Twilight slowly and carefully walked with the others into the Everfree Forest, the scan data already plugged into her Nav-Unit along with Aphelion's scan of the entire forest. With that, she had a complete map of the Everfree's more permanent features, and a partial layout of those features that were less sedentary. The plunder vines proved a partial difficulty for the six mares and one baby dragon, especially as they proved somewhat resistant to fire. A quick rethink had led to Twilight dispensing FTF Omegatech Frost Cannons to everyone for use in defense. Much as Twilight had anticipated, magic vines with resistance to flame lacked the corresponding resistance to frost.
"Just be careful not to cross too many streams," Twilight warned. "These were part of Qwark's 'Friendship Through Firepower' initiative, and the effect amplifies geometrically as more of the same weapon locks onto the same target."
"Wait...that goofball tried to weaponize friendship?" Rainbow asked in surprise.
"...I'll ignore that 'goofball' comment due to accuracy," Twilight spoke up carefully, "but he is my BBBFF, and has well earned the title of one of the Universe's Greatest Heroes, whatever he believes. I can count three times off the top of my head for which I owe him my life...once at nearly the expense of his own. Please keep that in mind when you talk about him."
"...sorry," Rainbow apologized softly. "Guess he's always been a pillar to your life-"
"When I first met him he was an egotistical fool working for criminals with the collective IQ of Snips and Snails earwax who were destroying multiple planets, all so he could finance his 'heroic return', and led to one of the first of the traumatic experiences of my life," Twilight interrupted just as calmly.
"So it's not just Celestia you're messing with!" Rainbow accused angrily. "You're trying to give all of us nervous breakdowns trying to make sense of things?!"
"It's a perk," Twilight allowed with a teasing smirk.
"So how exactly is he your bro, anyway?" Applejack asked carefully. "Fraid I wasn't really following most of the story. Kinda went over my head..."
"He was an orphan," Twilight explained easily. "Never knew his parents. At the absolute lowest point in my life, I was on the verge of total mental collapse...only to be pulled back out of it when I learned how much Clank cared for me, in addition to how much Daddy did. That's how Clank became Mommy."
"Aww..." Rarity cooed, having loved every moment of the thrilling tale.
"So sweet..." Fluttershy agreed.
"As we were moving on from that, I overheard Daddy saying that if it's what it took to get me talking and moving again, he'd put Mommy in a dress and switch his voice chip to Wagnerian Opera."
"Is that the space version of the one with all the Valkyries?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously. "Cause if so, that's hilarious!"
"Sounds about right," Twilight confirmed. "He also said if it made me happy, he'd even adopt Qwark. At the time, he didn't exactly have the highest opinion of him."
"And then Qwark told you all that the reason he followed you around all the time was because you were the closest things he'd ever had to family, and you said you'd always wanted a big brother!" Pinkie supplied perkily. "And being accepted into a loving family laid the foundation for him to grow into the hero he once believed himself to be!"
"More or less," Twilight confirmed, glad at least one of her friends wasn't too disturbed by all the changes. Then again, Pinkie could be considered to be disturbed in her own way as is.
Applejack said nothing, but she glanced back towards Ponyville - where Qwark had already taken charge of finding safe places for the foals and elderly from the viney assault before the mares had even left the library, as well as repelling the attacking vines with blaster shots, energy whips, and his own punches when necessary - with a speculative look on her face. Tough fella... she thought silently to herself.
"Applejack, watch out!" Fluttershy called out, snapping the farm mare out of her reverie.
"What the-Whoa nelly!" Applejack screamed as she rolled back out of the way of the lunging cragodile. Before anyone else could react, an electrified net shot out, wrapping around the cragodile and carrying it into a nearby tree, pinning it there.
"Fluttershy, let the cragodile know it won't take injury from the net if it holds still," Twilight stated calmly as she checked over her Omega Mag-Net Cannon for any heat damage from the quick firing.
As Fluttershy went to do that, Rainbow flew over and elbowed Applejack in the side. "And you thought we should leave her behind!" she offered teasingly.
"Aww, shuddup!" Applejack snapped, taking a swipe at Rainbow with her hat. "Thanks fer the save, Twi."
"No problem," Twilight responded readily. "Stay close. We're going deeper."
It wasn't long before the group reached the depths of the Everfree Forest where the signals led. After a brief pause to marvel at the ruins of the Palace of the Pony Sisters, the original capitol of Equestria - and to mark the spot on the Nav Unit's map for later visit - the group proceeded down into the chasm around it by means of a staircase. Within the gorge was a cavern that led to a massive crystal tree that the Elements of Harmony - which the group had brought with them - resonated with. The plunder vines bound the tree tightly, suppressing its light, and two large forms were bound in vines until they could not be seen beneath the vines to either side of the tree.
"So...any idea what we're supposed to do now?" Rainbow asked curiously.
Twilight tapped her nav unit. "Could someone patch me through to Discord?" she spoke calmly.
"I've got him right here!" Nefarious responded immediately.
"Calling me out again so soon?" Discord purred softly. "I'm flattered. Seeking the benefit of my eons of experience?"
"Absolutely," Twilight confirmed. "You've got that knowledge, it only makes sense for me to avail myself of it as frequently as reasonable. There's a crystal tree out here the Elements are responding to, and the plunder vines are attacking it-"
"Oh, so that's why they took so long to spring up!" Discord declared with the air of someone making a significant discovery. "The Tree of Harmony's been keeping them in check all this time! It must have run out of juice from having the Elements gone from it for so long."
"Thanks Discord, that's all I needed to know," Twilight replied as she cut the comm link.
"So...we give the Elements back to the Tree?" Pinkie asked curiously.
"That seems to be the most efficient solution," Twilight confirmed.
"But...what if you girls need the Elements against some new threat?" Spike asked worriedly.
"I'm assuming I made a list of all possible Element related threats at some point that you have on you?" Twilight inquired curiously.
"Uh, right here?" Spike offered, pulling a rather thick scroll out.
"Read off those we've actually used them for first, followed by those connected," Twilight instructed.
Nodding, Spike unrolled the scroll. "Let's see...Nightmare Spirit infuses someone?"
"If it's Luna, combine Shrink Ray and Nether Rift tech to send Clank into her magical aura to battle the Nightmare directly," Twilight dictated as Spike wrote it down on a separate list. "If it's anyone else, have Luna take us into their mindscape via the dreamscape to battle the Nightmare Spirit directly. Next?"
"Discord runs amok?" Spike continued.
"Have Qwark punch him, make sure to tell Qwark Discord is punchable," Twilight responded. "Enough punches, and he'll go back to enjoying the chaos of me bringing modern galactic technology to Equestria and Equestrian magic to the universe. Next?"
"Princess Celestia develops her own Nightmare."
"Same as Nightmare Spirit situation. Failing that, tell Qwark she needs a hug and that I treated his uniform with a special coating that's immune to magic sun fire."
"Ya seem ta be relyin' on Qwark for things that main strength shouldn't work for..." Applejack pointed out worriedly.
"He generates a reality warping field based on faith, the strength of which is relative to the strength of his faith," Twilight explained. "If he has reason to believe he can do something and not a shred of doubt that he's capable of it, he'll pull it off no matter how many physicists it drives to drink."
"Oh, like the orks in that game my little brother loves so much," Fluttershy murmured softly. "...yay..."
"Think we can introduce them?" Rainbow asked hopefully. "Maybe Qwark could knock some sense into - or out of - Zephyr?"
"Unknown new villain?" Spike continued down the list.
"Superior firepower," Twilight responded immediately. "Failing that, send Nefarious back in time to the day before the threat revealed itself to download the events into his own brain before Orvus turns time back six minutes so Nefarious has the information without actually being sent back in time, so we have another week to try and fix things before doing it again. Repeat until a successful solution is created."
Spike blinked, running down the list. "Umm...so 'blow it up' or 'abuse the laws of time and causality so we have infinite time to develop a workable solution'?" he clarified.
"In essence, yes," Twilight confirmed.
"Yeah...I don't think there's anything else on this list that doesn't cover."
"Alright, giving the Elements back," Twilight declared. "Then study the tree until I'm able to create mobile receptacles that allow us to draw Harmony energy through our friendship so we don't need to remove the Elements from the Tree in order to borrow their power in the future. Girls, keep the vines off me."
The girls traded glances, only to shrug. Twilight seemed to know what she was doing.
Before long, the Elements were back in the tree and the vines were gone. Celestia and Luna were freed from the vines holding them, only to stare in disbelief at Twilight. "Do...do you really think you can do such a thing?" Celestia managed to say at last.
Before anyone else could speak up, the tree extended a root which developed a bud, only to open to reveal a crystal box that looked different from every angle save for having six keyholes. "...perhaps the Tree is giving her a way to do it as is?" Luna offered nervously.
"A crystallized quintessence hypercube storage unit?" Twilight squealed eagerly. "Oh, I can hardly wait until we figure out how to open it!"
"Twilight, does the royal treasury have enough to pay you to take over the government?" Celestia asked pleadingly.
"And deal with the headaches of a feudal nobility?" Twilight tsk'ed disdainfully. "Not even for a week."
"It was worth a try, sister," Luna sighed in resignation.
When Night Light and Twilight Velvet received the message from Shining Armor, they immediately cut their vacation short and headed straight for Ponyville, so alarming were the contents of said message. Their little Twilight Sparkle becoming an alicorn? Amazingly wonderful news, but they spent half her cutecineara as potted plants. Between that and what they'd heard and seen of her other adventures - Nightmare Moon, Discord, Changelings, Sombra - hardly surprising at this point. Becoming a Princess? Somewhat alarming, given it was still their little Sparkle, but something they could live with. Spurning the entirety of the Canterlot Elite for whatever project she was currently engaged in? Far too easy to believe, and something to be proud of...but also something more for discussion via dragonfire letters than an emergency face-to-face contact.
But a coltfriend? If Changelings weren't involved again, the Apocalypse may well be neigh!
As they finally arrived at the train station, Night Light lowered his weed whacker and pushed his visored hat up somewhat to expose his eyes. "Goodness, the town's messy today. Think this is an everyday thing?"
Twilight Velvet lowered her torch as she took a look around at the vines still thrashing around town, attacking buildings that seemed to repel the vines. "Given no one seems to be in a panic, it very well could be. Twilight has mentioned in her letters how exciting life here can be."
"So...which way is the library?" Night Light asked, glancing around. "That's likely where we'll find Twilight-"
"She's not there right now, but I can take you there to wait for her," a deep voice spoke from behind them.
They turned just in time to see a massive, grey-skinned figure with metallic armor fused with his flesh grasp a vine that was reaching for them in massive hands and rip it in half. "Neftin Prog-Nefarious, at your service," he introduced himself. "How do you know Twilight?"
"You know our little Sparkle?" Velvet asked in surprise. She couldn't imagine how Twilight could have befriended such a creature. ...to be perfectly honest, she still had a hard time on occassion wrapping her mind around the fact Twilight actually had friends.
"Oh, you're her parents," Neftin deduced before picking them up. "Come on, I'll take you to the library so you can meet her parents."
"...what?" Night Light asked carefully, uncertain he heard it right.
"As I understand it, Sun Butt had some sort of accident when helping Twilight sprout wings, and she wound up an infant two decades and several galaxies away," Neftin explained. He paused as he noticed them both nodding understandingly. "You...don't seem fazed."
"I'm a writer," Velvet explained, "and I've dabbled a bit in science fiction. Time travel mishaps are something of a passion of mine, story wise."
"And I work in speculative magic," Night Light added. "In addition to hearing out everything Velvet here writes, my job is to look at magic and ask 'what if'."
"So that's where she gets it," Neftin murmured thoughtfully as he ducked under the library doorframe. "Here's everyone." He pointed to the figures in question of various shapes. "Ratchet, Twilight's other Dad. Her other Moms, Clank, Sasha, Angela, Talwyn, and my sister Vendra. The big guy in green still outside is her other BBBFF, Captain Qwark. The metal guy over there cackling with glee at the destruction is Dr. Nefarious, Twilight's boyfriend."
"So that's the boyfriend," Night Light observed, focusing on the male who seemed to think he was good enough for his little girl.
"You said you were...Prog-Nefarious?" Velvet asked curiously.
"Twilight bullied him into adopting us as part of our reform of being evil," Neftin explained.
"Wait...I'm already a grandma?" Velvet asked in shock.
Neftin shrugged. "Technically, Vendra's her own grandma since she's hooked up with her step-mom's Dad."
"...I was wondering about the empty cider casks..." Night Light murmured softly.
Ratchet chuckled softly. "Yeah, Celestia had some difficulty accepting how Twilight's changed. She started chugging around the time she heard Twilight had access to tech that could tear open holes in the fabric of the universe."
"We had not even gotten to what she did in The Great Clock," Clank added with a chuckle. "From what I've heard, there is not enough booze in the world for Celestia to handle that story."
"Oh?" Velvet asked curiously. "The way you emphasize, I'm assuming the Great Clock is some sort of temporal regulation device? Possibly designed to contain some massive temporal anomaly?"
"No wonder she handled the science so easily," Sasha chuckled indulgently. "Sounds like we've all got quite a few stories to swap."
"Oh, you want stories?" Velvet purred. "Have I got stories for you..."
As Velvet began telling Twilight's other Moms about Twilight as a child - and got similar stories from Ratchet - Night Light made his way over to Nefarious. "So...Dr. Nefarious?"
"Yes, that's me," Nefarious replied bluntly as he turned his eyes towards the Everfree. "Is this the part where you try to threaten me should I hurt Twilight? Because Shining Armor already attempted that, only to learn he had nothing he could threaten me with that would trump threats already in place from Clank."
"Oh, I wouldn't do that," Night Light offered warmly. "I just want to be sure of a few things regarding you. First off...with your name and appearance..."
"I'm the greatest supervillain the universe has ever known," Nefarious responded bluntly. "Twilight is fully aware of this, and we'd fought several times as hero and villain before our first date. It's not an attempt on my part to turn her to evil, or on hers to turn me good. I asked her out because she's the only sophont I ever met who could meet me on an equal level intellectually, and she agreed for same reason. An adventure for survival together found chemistry, and we clicked as a couple after that. I sometimes kidnap her so Qwark - her BBBFF and my nemesis - can go on an adventure to rescue her, while we have a weekend of kinky fun together."
Night Light blinked several times. "That's...a very blunt way to put things to her father..."
"Part of what drove Celestia to drinking so much was learning that Twilight designed my penis for her pleasure after learning my original one didn't survive the process that turned me into a machine organism," Nefarious interrupted. "Also, I'm evil. Of course I'm going to try to terrorize when I can."
"...fair enough," Night Light allowed. "I suppose that also answers my question of if you knew what you were getting into, dating a mare of her line-"
"One of our funtime activities is trying to out-crazy each other," Nefarious interrupted again.
"Then I guess my only remaining question is if she's happy with you," Night Light concluded.
"Just a few days ago, she encountered Celestia's previous personal student - a mare named Sunset Shimmer - and asked how I'd feel about adding her to our relationship."
"Fair enough!" Night Light responded quickly, finding he'd heard about as much as he could handle regarding his little girl and her relationships. "No more questions-"
"One more," Velvet suddenly spoke up insistently from Nefarious' other side.
"YAAAAUGH!" Nefarious shrieked as he leapt into the air in surprise. "Don't do that!"
"Grandfoals," Velvet stated firmly, her eyes boring into Nefarious' skull.
Nefarious blinked a few times. "Uh...t-that wasn't a question..." he pointed out nervously.
"Well it certainly wasn't a request," Velvet agreed.
"Ugh!" Twilight groaned out for the fifth time as she and Spike made their way into the Castle of the Pony Sisters. "This has been the worst day..."
"Aw come on, Twi," Spike offered comfortingly. "It can't have been that bad-"
"I spent the entire morning being badgered by my Mom about grandfoals!" Twilight snapped angrily. "And all the time, Celestia was sitting there giggling at my misery! I think I've earned a good old fashioned 'worst day' gripe."
"Well, you had to expect that," Spike pointed out logically as they crossed the bridge. While he'd been nervous initially about wildlife or magical beings within the castle once they got there, seeing the arsenal Twilight had loaded herself down with before leaving left him completely at ease. "It's kind of what parents do once their kids have special someponies...or so I've heard. I mean, Vendra's...your daughter. Don't you bug her about that?"
"She's together with my Dad," Twilight pointed out bluntly. "Kinda hard to figure out proper nomenclature for bugging her for grandsiblings. ...huh, Pinkie's right. That term works surprisingly well. But anyway, it isn't the demands for grandfoals that bothers me. You're right that I expected that."
Spike blinked. "Okay...then what was bugging you?"
"She was constantly giving me suggestions on how to go about making it possible biologically!" Twilight snapped angrily. "I mean, she was going on about using time travel to find a point where Nefarious was masturbating back before he became a robot and collecting the semen and using magic to modify it to be genetically compatible! Even going on about making an 'injection system' for it!(1)"
Spike blushed brightly. "Okay...I can see why that would be a bit embarrassing-"
"I know!" Twilight snarled, kicking a rock out of her path. "I mean, I apparently get my brain from her and Dad, so how can she know so little about what she's talking about? The systems are already in place, for goodness sake!"
"Uh...what?" Spike asked nervously, uncertain he wanted the answers.
"That 'injection system' is completely unnecessary since there's already a delivery system that's presently only used for a biological lubricant," Twilight explained. "I mean, cold hard metal going in there without lubricant? Not pleasant. And we don't need to go back in time for DNA, it's already in built into the program cores of his robotic cells as part of the process that turned him into a robot in the first place! It's child's play to create a system to splice gametes from that! Heck, it's part of the base design for his penis as is!"
Spike carefully pushed any mentally scarring information from that rant out of his mind, focusing instead on the knowledge that he would not have to assist Twilight in tinkering with her boyfriend's penis as far as getting children. "And...modifying the DNA?" he asked carefully.
"Again, his systems already take that into account," Twilight continued. "Part of what happened when he inlaid his entire superstructure with magic-channeling carbuncle for his shift into a robotic alicorn stallion. While in that form, his DNA code is modified to what it would have been if he'd been born one. Switch the splicer on, and it makes alicorn stallion gametes."
"So...anytime you want, the two of you could start churning out alicorn super-babies?" Spike asked nervously.
"Which is why I haven't told Mom about those systems, and why I've told Nefarious exactly what I'll do to him if he turns that particular system on without my express permission!" Twilight stated firmly. She paused as she noticed a thoughtful look on Spike's face. "...do you think I've missed something?"
"Uh...well..." Spike rubbed the back of his head nervously. "See...I've been reading...certain things...some...Neighponese books..."
"Oh, you've discovered Hentai," Twilight stated bluntly. "Well, you're a growing young drake. Perfectly understandable you'd start mentally exploring your sexuality. Just make sure you clean up after yourself, and get to the point you're trying to make quick."
Spike exhaled a sigh of relief, glad Twilight was being so understanding. "Well...in some of them, the mares - or griffoness, or bitch, or...well, you get the idea..."
"You don't limit yourself to a single species genre," Twilight concluded. "Go on."
"Well, there are times when in the throes of passion, she'll call out to the guy to 'make her pregnant'," Spike explained. "You've...made sure to tell Nefarious that doesn't count as express permission, right?"
Twilight's eyes widened. "Thank you Spike," she offered carefully. "I'll be sure to let him know before anything else like that happens between us. But for now, I'm going to spend the rest of the day in the library of this ancient palace, reading any legible book I can find, binging on whatever snacks Aphelion can send us, and pretending the world outside that room doesn't exist. I need it."
"Far be it for me to stop a read-a-thon," Spike agreed. After all, he'd brought plenty of comic books. As long as he felt safe - and had plenty of snacks - this meant he didn't have to actually do anything.
Much later in the day, Twilight looked up from the book she was engrossed in as she heard a great deal of screaming that sounded like her friends. Sighing, she got to her hooves and walked out of the library, only momentarily noticing that Angel Bunny was stuffing his face with salad on an otherwise empty cushion.
Once out on the second floor balcony of the main hall, she saw Rainbow Dash and Applejack running around like crazy, Rarity clutching a torn tapestry, and Fluttershy standing over a crushed pile of rocks. The first two were screaming their heads off, and the second two were wailing like someone had died. Grinding her teeth, Twilight cast a spell of silence over the entire group. She then waited calmly as the total absence of the noise they were making led to her friends calming down. As they all turned to look at her, she crossed her forelegs. "So...who wants to explain?"
"Uh...Most Daring Pony contest got out of hand?" Rainbow offered nervously.
Applejack nodded in agreement. "We...kinda scared ourselves out of our wits."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Well, if that's what you consider fun. Could you make sure someone's around to reign things in before you go crazy?"
"I think we did!" Rainbow offered cheekily with a wide grin at Twilight.
Twilight glared at Rainbow for a time, then turned to Rarity. "And you?"
"The tapestry I came to restore..." She held up the tear in the fabric. "Look at it! Oh, the tragedy-"
"You're crying because the tapestry you came to restore needs repair and restoration?" Twilight pointed out incisively.
Rarity blinked a few times. "W-well, I guess when you put it that way, it does seem rather silly, doesn't it?" she offered with a nervous titter.
Rolling her eyes, she turned to Fluttershy, who still looked heartbroken. "And you, Fluttershy?" she asked, trying to keep her voice gentle.
Fluttershy pointed to where a large rock had apparently fallen. "A-Angel...h-he's..." she whimpered, her lip quivering.
Twilight sighed. She really couldn't blame Fluttershy if she thought Angel had been killed. She could, however, blame Angel for letting it happen. Seizing the bunny in her magic, she chucked him at Fluttershy. "Now where's Pinkie? Any time four or more of us are gathered, it's all of us." Loud organ music echoed through the castle. "...oh, she's playing the organ that controls all the castle's traps. Of course she is." Rolling her eyes, Twilight went back to the library. "There aren't any traps up here if you're all willing to read quietly."
The entire group - plus Pinkie, once she got bored of music and came to read - spent the rest of the day in companionable silence, save the occasional sharing of something particularly interesting.
Twilight smiled to herself as she enjoyed 'National Random Holiday Party Day' with Pinkie Pie and her other friends...minus Rainbow Dash who hadn't shown up yet. She had just finished sending Sunset Shimmer's latest equipment shipment through the portal (now in her basement), and was looking forward to a relaxing party without any world rocking events coming up. Her extended family had adjourned to Canterlot for an exchange of baby picture albums, and she'd decided she didn't need the embarrassment and wished them well.
As the party was getting into full swing, Rainbow Dash burst in at long last, demanding if everyone was 'excited'. Twilight couldn't help but chuckle over Rainbow's confusion, and her excitement over Daring Do. Twilight's fondness for the series extended into both her lives, thanks to Orvus, so she was glad to have a friend to share the stories with who was just as passionate. However, when she heard Rainbow's excitement over how close until the next book was released, she had to speak up. "Didn't you hear? The publishing date was pushed back another two months." She quickly raised a shield bubble to deflect the spittake this caused.
"Two more months?" Rainbow gasped out in despair. "I've been waiting so long already! I don't think I can last another two months!" She collapsed to the floor face down.
"Yeah..." Fluttershy offered worriedly. "I can vouch for that..." She glanced over at Twilight. "You've done crazy things with time. Couldn't you, um..."
"I don't play games with causality unless lives hang in the balance," Twilight replied, holding back the intensity she was feeling since it was Fluttershy who was asking. "And Rainbow's heart is in too good of condition to have a heart attack from anticipation stress." She tapped her chin. "An aneurysm, on the other hoof..."
"Umm...how about looking through time to find out why the book was delayed?" Fluttershy suggested hopefully.
Twilight furrowed her brow. "I suppose I could. I mean, Mom said A.K. Yearling didn't give a reason for the delay..."
"Wait, your Mom knows A.K. Yearling?" Rainbow gasped in shock.
"Uh, yeah," Twilight pointed out. "She runs her publishing company. But I know someone else who would know more. Gimme a minute." Reaching up, she tapped her helmet to access Aphelion's Obsidian Eye Instant Messenger. After a time, she got the message back...and her face fell. "Well, I know why Daring Do won't be coming out for two more months now," she grumbled, going over to grab a cupcake.
"You do?" Rainbow asked eagerly. "Why is that?"
"Because she can't get back to where she left the artifact yet," Twilight answered bluntly. "Great...my favorite fiction series is actually nom de plume autobiography..."
"Wait...you're saying A.K. Yearling is Daring Do?" Rainbow gasped out in surprise, making everyone else gasp in shock.
"Yup. And I have enough real adventures in my life," Twilight groused. "When I sit down to read fiction, I want fake adventure."
"But then we have to go help her!" Rainbow proclaimed eagerly. "Twilight, with all your tech-"
"You want to see this in the next Daring Do novel?" Twilight demanded, activating her RYNO Protosuit. When that was greeted with silence, she deactivated it. "Didn't think so."
"But what about all the dangerous artifacts Daring deals with?" Rainbow fretted.
"She's dealt with them on her own so far," Twilight pointed out logically. "Short of Nefarious bursting in here with a future message saying the world is going to end if we don't go help Daring Do-"
Nefarious burst into the room. "Twilight! I have a message from my future self! If someone doesn't go to help Daring Do, the world will reach a fiery apocalypse! Can I tie you down to keep you from interfering so we can conquer the wasteland together?"
Rarity promptly spat her punch all over Spike. He did not seem upset.
Twilight leveled a glare at Nefarious. "Nefarious, you know how I feel about apocalyptic wastelands. I like my conquered kingdoms with working infrastructure - like indoor plumbing - thank you very much."
Nefarious shrugged. "It was worth a try."
"Do I have to go?" Twilight whined. "I don't want to get stuck in a thinly veiled autobiography as a side character! ...can't I just send Rainbow?"
"Ooh! Send me! Send me!" Rainbow pleaded eagerly.
Nefarious tapped his dome carefully. "Hmm...operating on the assumption you did, there doesn't appear to be any follow up messages...should be fine!"
"Awesome!" Rainbow squealed out before blurring away. A few moments later, she returned. "So, uh...where am I going?"
Twilight promptly facehooved.
Twilight was glad for the relative peace and quiet that followed Rainbow's departure to assist Daring Do in the latest adventure that would eventually be turned into a book. A minor niggling worry in her mind suggested something bad might happen to Rainbow on the adventure, but the larger part was certain that she'd have made Nefarious edit the message sent back if something really bad happened to Rainbow as a result of this. As such, she simply relaxed.
"Hey Twilight!"
Twilight jumped out of her chair in shock. Damn! I've really let my awareness drop if Rainbow could ambush me so easily. She's not that quiet. "What is it, Rainbow?"
"I...thought you might want to read the new Daring Do book early?" Rainbow offered demurely. "It introduces a new character..."
Twilight frowned at the front cover, which showed Rainbow flying alongside Daring Do away from a collapsing temple. "So you're in the book. Congratu-"
Rolling her eyes, Twilight took the book and quickly flipped through it, using her magic to boost her time sense so she was able to read the whole thing in under a minute. However, she paused halfway through when she got to the introduction of the new character...a rainbow maned pegasus mare named Fracta. "She didn't use your real name?" she asked in surprise.
"Keep reading," Rainbow encouraged.
Sighing, Twilight lowered her gaze back to the book, reading of how Fracta had been sent to aid Daring Do from the prediction of an oracle. Good way of not mentioning the time travel...and the robot. She flipped through the next few pages...
"...Rainbow?" Twilight asked nervously. "Why does it say this 'Fracta' is Daring Do's...long lost daughter?"
Rainbow rubbed the back of her head. "Yeah...funny story there..."
As the group made their way back into the Palace of the Pony Sisters for renovation work, Spike clumped along at Twilight's side, looking rather put out. Noticing this, she immediately turned to him. "What's wrong Spike?"
Spike sighed. "It's just...I feel like I don't really contribute much here," he admitted. "I mean, sure there are times when I can be helpful, but...with all of you together - especially with all your new tech - sometimes it feels like I'm just along for the comic relief." A splash heralded his foot coming down inside a bucket, making him sigh. "Case in point."
Twilight tilted her head. "So...is this deriving from 'not an Element Bearer', 'not a pony', or 'not a grownup' issues?" she inquired carefully. "Cause I have psychological checklists for all three, and I don't want to grab the wrong one today." At hearing Rainbow's snicker, she called out, "I also have a 'reconnected with mother who abandoned me for my own good' psychological checklist!" Rainbow promptly stopped laughing and went back to cleaning. Noticing Spike staring at her, she sighed softly. "Unfortunately, the 'reconnecting with mother/big sister/best friend who's now almost a completely different pony' psychological checklist is still a work in progress. Heck, even deciding which of those terms to apply to the checklist in that case is a work in progress."
"Uh...which one involves you having a way for me to contribute?" Spike asked hopefully.
"Oh, that's not part of the checklists," Twilight explained. "See, we need to get this job done today to get back to Ponyville before dark, since the Everfree still isn't safe to travel in after dark despite the calming effects of the restored Tree of Harmony. As such, I can't handle the library myself. But you know my sorting system." She walked over to the cart of supplies she'd brought.
"So...I'm sorting the books?" Spike asked worriedly. "And...carrying them all back?"
"Yup!" Twilight confirmed, bringing over a metal container just the right size for Spike to carry easily with an opening on the top about the size of a book. "All you have to do is examine each book, determine how it would be sorted, and state that as you insert it into this dimensional storage unit. It weighs only five pounds total, and even with all the books in the library loaded in and properly sorted, the weight shouldn't go above ten pounds. Seeing as I've seen you tote 200 with ease when Rarity flutters her eyelashes at you, this should not only be well within your capabilities but right up your alley."
A huge grin split Spike's face. "Twilight, did I ever tell you how much I love all this new tech you've brought back?"
"Speaking of!" Twilight called after him as he raced off. "The spatial upgrades to the library should be finished stabilizing by the time we get back, so you'll have ten times the shelf space to work with! You'll be able to try out the hoverbooster!" She chuckled to herself as she turned to the comic book he dropped, casting a spell to analyze the magic laid upon it. Upon determining its nature, she decided to hang onto it for a time when the group wanted to play superhero.
Twilight listened calmly as Applejack and Fluttershy argued regarding the vampire fruit bats that had infested Sweet Apple Acres. She could admit to herself that both sides had valid points regarding their own perspectives, but she could also see that neither was really listening to the other either. As she heard grim music starting to play, she knew what was coming. Luckily, she came prepared. "Spike, 'the tool'."
Nodding, Spike pulled out a metal cylinder and opened it up, holding the contents out to Twilight, who seized them in her magic.
Applejack then began to sing in a grim, menacing tone. "Those vampire bats will give you a fright-OW!" Her song was cut off as Twilight whapped her across the nose with a rolled up newspaper.(1)
"No!" Twilight scolded, waving the rolled up newspaper at Applejack's muzzle. "None of that. Shame on you."
"But Twi-"
"I don't care how justified your points and perspective are," Twilight chided. "You do not use Heartsong to rile your friends into a magical mob mentality to pressure one of your best friends into acting against her nature and better instincts for your personal benefit! And whatever your intentions, you know that's what would have happened if you started singing here."
Applejack blinked a few times. "...well, shucks. When ya put it like that, Twilight, I feel like kind of a plot." She turned to Fluttershy. "Sorry about that, Fluttershy. I just...ya know how strongly ah feel about my family and my farm."
"It's alright, Applejack," Fluttershy accepted gracefully. "Now, if you'd just-"
"Don't think you're off the hook!" Twilight snapped, bringing the newspaper up under Fluttershy's muzzle. "Apple trees take as long as six years after initial planting to become fruit producing, and Ponyville relies on the apple production of Sweet Apple Acres for stability. I know you care about all critters and want to take care of them, but not at the expense of every pony in Ponyville."
"Now that we're actually talking," Twilight growled, "I actually happen to have a solution that's good for both sides. Relocation."
"Relocation?" Fluttershy asked in confusion as Applejack perked up.
"The vampire fruit bats came here because it's part of their migration cycle," Twilight explained. "We're going to relocate them and shift their migration cycle so it only stops in uninhabited areas and wild trees." Noticing Fluttershy's continued concern, she smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry. They won't even notice it happening."
"How are you gonna manage that, Twi?" Rainbow asked eagerly.
Twilight rolled her eyes as she watched Rainbow's overwhelming enthusiasm for her event in the upcoming Equestria Games...or at least, for the qualifying round to compete in the event. She was in the Flight Relay, alongside Fluttershy and a stallion by the name of Bulk Biceps. Twilight had attempted to join the team to show off how good she'd gotten at flying...but had been informed that alicorns were forbidden from competing in the Equestria games ever since the 'Canter OP Plz Nerf' regulation was passed that forbade Celestia from competing in the games for Canterlot. She'd also tried getting Clank as part of the team - the little guy could fly surprisingly well - but the regulations cracked down hard on 'magic or machine assisted performance', and apparently a purely machine lifeform (or magical one, as Zoni were classified) counted as being 'machine assisted'. This, unfortunately, was a double strike against Nefarious, to the point he refused to even watch the Equestria Games for being 'speciest against robotic life forms, and a squishy affront to the purity of competition'. As such, she didn't even have him along to debate the finer points of regulations in the games...or to sneak off with for a quick snog or shag if she got especially bored.
Thankfully, she had found a few ways to keep herself somewhat entertained. First, she caught Applejack creating exceptionally high fiber, solid treats for snacks during workouts and racing. Twilight was able to point out that while that made for excellent treats to give a lot of energy for hours of heavy labor, it would only weigh a stomach down for fast flight. As a result, Applejack had reworked the recipe to be lower in fiber and higher in sugar. Pinkie approved quite strongly.
Next was when she saw Rarity's speculated designs for the team's 'flight suits'. That had been...a conversation.
Twilight stared at the rather poofy design of the flight suits, looking more like dresses than flight suits. "Well...they're..." she began, not wanting to hurt her friend's feelings.
"Go on, Twilight," Rarity encouraged. "I want your honest opinion."
"...how honest?" Twilight asked carefully.
"Applejack honest," Rarity assured her.
"Alright," Twilight allowed. "Can I have some of whatever you were smoking when you came up with these? Alcohol just isn't doing it for Celestia anymore, and me getting drunk - should I ever need to take my mind off things - would be just plain dangerous." She tapped her chin. "In point of fact, pretty sure it's illegal in three galaxies for me to be served anything with an alcohol content above 2%..."
Rarity looked like she'd just been asked to walk through mud. "Don't you think you're being a tad...harsh?" Rarity asked, her voice sounding somewhat offended.
"Well, looking at these as outfits before flight suits, what's with those color choices?" Twilight demanded.
"They're the Ponyville colors," Rarity pointed out defensively. "There's only so much that can be done with them."
"...fair enough," Twilight allowed. "But they're still grossly inefficient. How are they supposed to fly in those? Those hanging drapes would drag on the air like crazy and slow them to a crawl!"
Rarity frowned at the designs. "I...guess I lost sight of that as designing carried me away," she murmured thoughtfully. "So...how do I fix this?"
"Start with making them flight suits," Twilight instructed firmly. "And keep in mind the goal is maximizing the wearer's ability to cut through the air. I actually have a few materials from off world you might want to try..."
As Twilight wandered Rainbow Falls instead of her memories, she found Rainbow sitting beside the pools under the falls, staring at her reflection and looking conflicted. "What's bothering you, Rainbow?" she asked curiously.
"It's...hard to explain," Rainbow began.
Sighing, Twilight settled to the grass to listen.
"It's...when Soarin' got injured, Spitfire asked me to fly with her! With the Wonderbolts, for Cloudsdale!" Rainbow explained excitedly. "Flying with the Wonderbolts...it's like a dream come true!"
"Then you should go for it," Twilight concluded simply.
"But what about all the work Fluttershy, Bulk Biceps, Applejack, and Rarity have put into this?" Rainbow countered. "If I don't fly for Ponyville, it'll all go to waste!"
"Then you should fly for Ponyville," Twilight responded bluntly.
"But I might never get a chance like this again!" Rainbow wailed. "Flying in the Games...with the Wonderbolts!"
"Then you should fly with them," Twilight offered, seemingly reversing her former position.
"But I can't just turn my back on my friends!" Rainbow declared angrily.
"Then you should fly with them-"
"Stop that!" Rainbow snapped out. "I'm in a crisis here and asking you for advice!"
"Oh, you want advice," Twilight responded as though only just getting it. "Why didn't you say so?" She smirked impishly as Rainbow facehooved and muttered imprecations under her breath. "In that case, I don't think I'm the one you should be asking."
"Who should I ask then?" Rainbow demanded worriedly.
Seizing hold of Rainbow with her magic, Twilight turned her to face the lake's surface and her own reflection. "Her," Twilight explained bluntly. "Whatever decision you make, your friends will know you made the best decision for yourself and support you completely. We wouldn't be good friends if we didn't. The only one who's going to judge you for the decision you make today is her." She pointed firmly at the reflection. "So my advice to you is to sit here and look her right in the eye...and find the decision you can tell her you're going to make without breaking that locked gaze. Because the day you can't meet her gaze..." She stood up, shaking her head. "When you've betrayed the Mare in the Glass, you're nothing."
"...but this is water," Rainbow pointed out logically.
Twilight slammed her hoof against her face. "And I'm washing my hooves of this," she grumbled. "I trust you'll figure it out. Do make the decision soon." Turning, she headed off to find something to take the edge off.
Rainbow stared at her reflection for a time, thinking on those words. Finally, as her eyes flashed with a rainbow light, she nodded firmly to herself, stood up, and took to the air.
Rainbow landed right in front of Spitfire in the Wonderbolts prep area. "Captain Spitfire...can I talk to you privately?"
Spitfire raised an eyebrow. "Sure thing, Dash," she responded readily, guiding Rainbow into her tent. "What did you need?"
Rainbow took a deep breath, then let it out. "Thanks for the invitation to fly with you in the Games...but I can't accept."
Spitfire's eyebrow once more ascended her forehead. "Care to explain why?"
"Because I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I did," Rainbow responded. "The big reason I was having a hard time deciding at first was because I felt guilty letting my friends down to pursue my dream...but then I thought about why I even had this opportunity in the first place. You made the offer to me because Soarin' got injured. You...tossed him aside to get me." She was somewhat gratified to see Spitfire glance away at that. "That's...that's not how I want my dreams. So I'm going to fly for Ponyville." With that, she turned to leave.
"Thanks."
Rainbow paused, turning in surprise. "Come again?"
"Thanks for refusing, and telling me why," Spitfire elaborated, leaning back in her chair with a smile. "Listen Dash...being a Wonderbolt isn't all glory and fun. We aren't just stunt fliers, whatever recent events and the attitudes of some of our members might say. First and foremost, we serve Equestria...and sometimes that means doing things you don't like." She turned away. "I have my orders, Dash. The Wonderbolts are the best of the best in the air...and we're under orders to prove it in the games. I was ordered to recruit anyone who could outfly a member of my team for the Games, with promises of fast-tracking them into the Wonderbolts as incentive. And you could outfly just about anyone on the team in a straight up race...though your turning could use some work." She smirked at the jibe.
"Hey!" Rainbow complained angrily.
"I hated ordering Soarin' to take his time recovering after he was injured," Spitfire continued, "but orders are orders. Which is why I'm glad you refused." She smiled softly. "I'm glad you chose to fly the Games with your friends...because it means I get to fly the Games with my friends, my team." Reaching into a satchel, she pulled out a gold Wonderbolts pin on a rainbow colored ribbon. "That's not something I'm going to forget," she stated as she placed the pin in Rainbow's hoof, neither noticing the rainbow sheen that passed over the metal. "Looking forward to beating the pants off you in the Games!"
Rainbow smirked back challengingly. "We'll see who beats who," she shot back, turning to get back to her friends...her team.
Twilight sighed to herself as she wandered around Ponyville, taking in the sights of yet another party underway. It was relaxing to know no one would expect anything of her this week. Last week had been a get together with Cadence, with plans to talk about the details of her life in other galaxies that she wouldn't want to talk about in front of a large group (specifically, Cadence had expressed concern regarding the mention of 'Dark Star' and the issues connected therein, and had offered to listen to anything Twilight needed to say in private). Of course, Discord being Discord had stuck his oar in, having apparently come down with 'Blue Flu'. He hadn't expected Twilight's approach to 'sick friend', however...nor had he anticipated just how thorough Twilight's medical knowledge was. The sight of the 'lab' she'd dragged him to for 'medical investigation' had been rather unnerving with how effectively it balanced mad science chaos with medically exact order...especially considering it could actually account for the chaos he released.
One far too thorough medical investigation complete with probing and a dose of chaos-attuned nanotech later, and Discord was torn between feeling put out that things hadn't gone according to plan or mortified at just how far Twilight had gone to treat him. When she'd then told him to his face that she wouldn't forgive herself for not doing everything in her power to help a friend in need - which he was - he'd found he hadn't the heart to tell her he'd faked the entire thing. ...Twilight had decided from the start not to tell him that she'd known that from the start, and she and Cadence had shared a good laugh about it afterwards. She had no qualms with laughing at a joke at Discord's expense. Knowing him, he'd find it just as hilarious in hindsight.
She found herself snapped out of her musings as she came across Pinkie Pie overenthusiastically watering Sugarcube Corner's front lawn. This was rather suspicious, since Sugracube Corner's front lawn consisted of a cobblestone path, a bed of flowering succulents, and a drain most of the water was pouring into. "Pinkie...are you feeling alright?" Twilight asked worriedly.
Pinkie started to open her mouth, then paused. Her eyes spun around a few times, and then she stared flatly at Twilight. "Now I know how Daddy felt when he first met you," she muttered under her breath. "What's the point of even reading the script...?"
"Huh?" Twilight inquired, thoroughly confused.
"Nothing!" Pinkie offered quickly. "And I'm doing just fine, Twilight! Why wouldn't I be?"
Twilight frowned, thinking back over the course of the day. "...maybe because Rainbow completely snubbed you as a party planner for her birthaversarry in favor of Cheese Sandwich without even realizing doing so would hurt your feelings?" she inquired incisively.
Pinkie stared wide-eyed at Twilight, dropping the watering can from her hoof. "...I am never going to get used to you being perceptive. My mind is officially a candle."
Twilight blinked a few times, then shook her head. She decided to focus on the issue. "And you're conflicted because-"
"Because she's my friend and it's her birthaversarry so she should get what she wants and I want her to be happy but at the same time it feels like my very purpose for being has been called into question by one of my best friends and-" Pinkie found her words muffled by Twilight's hoof.
"As long as we're on the same page, let's talk in sentences that don't take up entire pages, alright?" Twilight pleaded hopefully. "...not to say I know what relevance that's supposed to have here, but it sounds like something you'd say so I hope it gets through to you."
"Mmmfhy!" Pinkie squeaked around the hoof.
Twilight sat down to try and help Pinkie. "Alright...let's look at things a little differently. Try putting yourself in Cheese Sandwich's shoes."
"But he doesn't wear shoes!" Pinkie countered. "Well, except those cheese blocks when he's dancing. But how is sticking cheese on my hooves supposed to help my emotional state? I'll try it if you really think it will help-"
Twilight's hoof once more took a dose of Pinkie saliva to stop the flow of words. "Metaphorically," Twilight clarified as she removed her hoof.
"...yeah, I'm no good at those," Pinkie allowed apologetically. "I always end up making them accidentally literal from all the stuff I have stashed around Ponyville for irony emergencies."
Twilight blinked a few times. "I want you to imagine a scenario for me, Pinkie," she tried again. "A 'what would you do' sort of scenario, based on what I tell you. Can you do that?"
"I can try!" Pinkie proclaimed eagerly.
"Alright," Twilight agreed. "Imagine two friends who have been friends for a really long time. One friend has always planned the parties to celebrate the big events in the other friend's life. It's become a tradition, and they both look forward to it. Can you imagine that?"
"Oh, easily!" Pinkie agreed eagerly. "It sounds a lot like me and Rainbow Dash!"
"Except in this scenario it isn't," Twilight clarified.
"Why not?" Pinkie asked curiously. "I kinda thought that was what you were getting at."
"Because in this scenario, these friends move to Ponyville, and you give them the usual greeting you give every new pony you meet," Twilight explained.
"Oh yeah!" Pinkie agreed as her eyes lit up. "I couldn't give the 'new pony' greeting to myself, cause I'm not a new pony to me...unless I am? What if it's a me from another dimension? What if she's offended because I don't give her the 'new pony' greeting and thinks I'm a substandard Pinkie?" She grabbed Twilight and began to shake her. "What do I do, Twilight? I can't be a substandard member of the Pinkie Continuum! They'll sic the Equestrian Inquisition on me when I least expect them!"
"Pinkie, focus," Twilight interrupted. "It's not another you."
"Oh, okay," Pinkie allowed, plopping herself back down on the ground.
Twilight took a couple of calming breaths. "Alright...so you greet these two new ponies, and you find that one of them has a birthday coming up-"
"Oh, I absolutely have to go all out planning their birthday party!" Pinkie insisted. "I mean, they just arrived in Ponyville!" She suddenly gasped dramatically. "But that would make the other friend super duper sad because they aren't the one planning the celebration! Like I am, since I'm not the one planning Rainbow's! But I wouldn't let that go on long. I mean, I barely know this new pony. I don't even know their hypothetical gender yet, let alone the important stuff!" She suddenly gasped dramatically. "And Cheese Sandwich doesn't know the important stuff about Rainbow! All he can do is make a celebration that's huge and flashy! He can't tailor it to Rainbow! I need to run right over there and tell him everything he needs to know to make it a huge and flashy party just for her!" She started to turn to run off, then froze. "Oh, you are good!" Pinkie praised.
Twilight chuckled as she stroked her chest fluff with one hoof. "I have my moments."
"Kinda a pity this is already gonna be fixed though," Pinkie admitted sadly. "I was kinda hoping to actually find out what a butt spatula was.(1)"
Twilight's mind raced, and eventually hit on something she thought Pinkie might be talking about. "Proctological surgical tool."
"...yeah, don't wanna know anymore," Pinkie concluded as she pronked off to see Cheese Sandwich.
"Cheese!" Pinkie called out as she popped out of a crate of party supplies right in front of the orange stallion. "You've got some explaining to do, mister! And some listening!"
"I do?" Cheese Sandwich asked in confusion. "I'm pretty sure I had some party planning to do."
"That's what I'm talking about!" Pinkie insisted. "You don't know anything about Rainbow personally, but I do! You need my intimate knowledge of my best friend to tailor your huge and flashy party specifically to her tastes and pleasures so it's the biggest and best birthaversarry party ever!"
"But I was trying to manage that without asking you," Cheese Sandwich explained logically.
Pinkie blinked several times. "Wait, what? Why?"
"To show you how far I've come because of you," Cheese Sandwich offered warmly.
"...huh?" Pinkie demanded in shock.
After a quick detailing of Cheese Sandwich's origin story and how he became a super duper party pony because of meeting Pinkie Pie, Pinkie chewed her lip. "Wait a second...are you saying you swooped into Ponyville and took my best friend's birthaversarry planning out of my hooves with the intent of showing me up leaving me questioning my very existence...as some sort of present for me?"
"Uh...yes?" Cheese offered worriedly.
Pinkie's eyes started to water. "Cheese...that's the sweetest, most twisted, most illogical thing anypony has ever done for me! C'mere, you!" Reaching forward, she grabbed Cheese around the neck and pulled him into the crate of party supplies, the lid nailing itself back on behind them.
A couple hours later, Cheese Sandwich brought in a replacement crate of party supplies, as that one was no longer usable for Rainbow's party.
When she received an explanation as to why, Cadence dutifully forked over the wagered 1000 bits to Twilight with a proud smile.
The party proved to be the biggest Ponyville had ever seen, and when Cheese went off to continue spreading joy to the entire continent, he left two things behind in Pinkie's care. The first was a rubber chicken that gave off an odd rainbow sheen.
The second was a ring.
(1) This joke is a reference to another joke from one of the later chapters of The Wheel and the Buttrfly: A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga, one of my favorite stories by the talented Justice3442. Had to include it.
Twilight blinked as she opened the door to find the Cutie Mark Crusaders staring up at her hopefully. "Umm...can I help you three?" she asked curiously.
"Ya said you'd take some time ta tutor us, remember?" Apple Bloom pointed out. "We're here fer that!"
"Oh, I remember," Twilight confirmed. "I just didn't expect you all back...so quickly. I mean, I only gave you those forms yesterday-"
All three fillies immediately pulled out signed waivers. "Here you go!" Sweetie proclaimed eagerly, desperately struggling to levitate the piece of paper over to Twilight as the others handed them over.
Twilight frowned down at the signed sheets. "And...you're sure an adult family member signed off on this with full understanding of what it meant, as well as talking it out with you?"
"Applejack signed mine!" Apple Bloom proclaimed happily. "She said it meant she was saying it was okay for ya to patch me up if I got hurt."
"Rarity signed mine!" Sweetie Belle added. "Mom and Dad are out of town - again - and she said lessons would mean we could spend more time together once I'm more useful."
Twilight winced slightly at just how enthusiastic Sweetie Belle was about being 'useful' to Rarity. Then again, career focus did sweep everything else up in it. She turned to the last filly. "And you, Scootaloo?"
Twilight was internally torn between pleasure at Scootaloo's eagerness to learn and a growing certainty she should check the signature on her form for forgery. Eventually, she decided to go with the former, since she wasn't entirely certain the forms constituted legal consent in the first place and were meant as a deterrent from following this path...for the fillies' families, if not for the fillies themselves. "Well, come on in then. You might as well see how I've fixed this place up." She nudged the door open and led them inside.
Inwardly, she chuckled as she watched their awe as they stared around. The overall 'inside a tree' aesthetic remained the same, but the amount of space now contained rivaled Canterlot...the city, not just the castle. Shelves upon shelves of books, scrolls, holo-books, data cubes, readers, and display cases stretched out into the distance beyond clear vision, and the roof soared high above, vaulted with intertwined branches and leaves that allowed the sun to play gently across the floor and shelves, giving a natural feel and the exact amount of light needed to read comfortably by. In the distance, Spike could be seen flying a jetpack around as he reshelved books with robo-arms, a half dozen at a time. Several robots that glowed green and looked only half there were at work assisting Spike, running here and there with stacks of books in their arms and laser cutlasses strapped to their backs (Twilight had recruited some of her 'crew' to help run the expanded library, as she'd transferred everything that was intact from the 'Hall of Knowledge' here for review, and everything that wasn't intact for restoration).
Twilight waited for the fillies to be completely gobsmacked by what they were seeing, then cleared her throat to get their attention. "So...what was it specifically you three wanted me to instruct you in?"
"I was hoping to learn ta make potions that could help plants grow, among other things," Apple Bloom spoke up. "But Applejack says I'm not allowed to go into Everfree alone even ta see Zecora. Not after the Heart's Desire incident..."
"I want to learn to take things apart and put them back together!" Scootaloo proclaimed eagerly. "That way I can fix up my scooter and the wagon when they break!"
"And I'm hoping you can teach me to draw out more of my telekinesis!" Sweetie Belle squeaked hopefully.
Twilight nodded as she took all that in. "I see...but do you really want to be so limited in what you're studying? If this is working towards Cutie Marks...what if you three were the first fillies to get Cutie Marks in something from off world?"
All three fillies gasped in shock at the very idea. They glanced at each other, then leapt into the air. "Cutie Mark Crusaders Space Studies, Yay!" they proclaimed together.
Twilight chuckled softly. "In that case, follow me downstairs." Turning, she led the trio down a short flight of stairs into a massive basement laboratory. Much like above, shelves stretched into the distance, though covered in various components and vials rather than books or scrolls. However, as she expected, the fillies' attention was locked on the snarling creatures inside the cage beside the stairs.
"Princess Twilight-" Apple Bloom began.
"Just Twilight," Twilight interrupted. "I'm a teacher here, not a Princess."
"What is that?" Sweetie Belle shrieked as she pointed.
Inside the cage was a group of creatures resembling Timberwolves, though they seemed to be made of metal and circuits rather than wood and leaves. The same eldritch glow filled their eyes, though. "Oh, that's the results of my attempts to reverse engineer the 'zombie robot pirate ghost' curse using Timberwolves as test subjects. I thought I'd have to recreate the curse to give to Zecora before sending her back in time so she could give it to Blackwater." She smiled ruefully. "Turns out she already had that particular curse in her library...but these cyberwolves are still useful in their own way."
"H-how so?" Scootaloo asked nervously.
"Well, for this lesson for one thing," Twilight explained. She handed Scootaloo a blueprint. "This has all the parts you'll need to put together a weapon to repel them." She handed Apple Bloom a small flower in a pot and a scroll. "This has a formula that will let this plant grow gigantic and become sapient. Brew it right, it will protect you. Brew it wrong, and it will likely turn on you." She then turned to Sweetie Belle. "Parts and chemicals will be out of reach for all of you without telekinesis." Turning, she locked the door out of the lab and flew up to the top of the cyberwolf cage. "I'll open the cage in five minutes. That's how long you have to prepare. I believe the best learning is discovered on the battlefield, in a life or death struggle. Good luck." She flipped over a five-minute hourglass.
As the sand started to fall, the fillies stared in disbelief...then shrieked in terror before racing off into the lab. Twilight chuckled to herself. The cyberwolves were actually part of the 'zombie robot pirate ghost' crew now, and thus wouldn't actually hurt the fillies. Still, she knew what adrenaline could do to the creative mind...and that's one thing that trio definitely was.
After a time, she released the cyberwolves to hunt down the trio. They'd either have their defenses prepared and drive the wolves back, or they'd get a bit of a fright before the wolves dragged them back. Either way-
There should not have been a massive explosion followed by a hurled shelf and the yelps and whines of the cyberwolves.
Looking up, Twilight's eyes shrank to pinpricks as she stared at the massive plant/metal monstrosity that the CMC were riding atop to smash the cyberwolves to bits. She realized one thing she'd forgotten about the CMC...what they got up to tended to get away from them.
Twilight stared at Fluttershy after hearing the explanation of everything that was happening. "Alright...let me see if I've got this straight," she clarified. "The Breezies are these tiny little creatures who need pollen from a specific type of flower to survive."
"That's right," Fluttershy confirmed.
"And the flowers are so far from the portal that leads back to their own dimension that they have to migrate all the way back, using their magic to preserve the pollen," Twilight continued. When this got a nod, she went on. "And their magic only works if the breeze is strong enough to carry them, but gentle enough to not blow them off course...a line of difference that is about one and a half wingpower wide." Another nod. "So there's this entire society dedicated to taking care of creatures like this, arranging the conditions that allow for their migration. ...how'd they survive before that society?"
"Not very well," Fluttershy admitted sorrowfully. "Their numbers have been in serious decline. That's why it's so important that we-"
"And has no one at the society considered, oh I don't know, moving the flower patch?" Twilight asked incisively.
"This particular breed of flower can only grow in the unique magical conditions of that particular area," Fluttershy explained softly. "The gateway into the Breezie dimension used to be a lot closer to the flower patch, but it's been steadily moving further and further away ever since Nightmare Moon was sealed in the moon. It's believed this was because of some imbalance in how Celestia was handling the moon relative to their dimension." Her eyes lit up hopefully. "With luck, this process will reverse now that Luna is in control, and the portal will be back in its original position in 1000 years...assuming we work to keep the Breezies alive until then."
Twilight blinked a few times. "...huh. I genuinely wasn't expecting a logical explanation that made sense." She smiled widely and nodded. "Seems like you know what you're doing, so I'll leave it to you. I'm sure you can handle it...but let me know if you need magical assistance."
With that said, Twilight was happy to let Fluttershy handle everything. The only other thing she considered 'of note' for the day was the fact that Qwark made for one funny looking Breezie.
When Pinkie had informed everyone that her sister Maud was coming to Ponyville to visit, Twilight immediately began to grill the pink pony for information regarding her laconic relative. As such, she knew before Maud arrived that she was difficult to read for those who didn't know her well, and liked rocks, the rarer and more unique the better. On learning these two things, Twilight was glad to find something that she and Maud might possibly bond over.
After guiding Maud down to her lab (having made sure the Crusaders' Mechivy Kaiju was secured), she brought her over to a small table with several chunks of rock of various sizes, glowing bright pink with Nether Energy. "The larger and smaller ones are actual chunks of rock from the Nether Dimension where Neftin and Vendra come from," she explained, certain that Pinkie's sister would have heard all the same stories of Twilight's adventures from their father that Pinkie had...though their father apparently acted very differently at home than he did on the job, due to their mother being very traditional. "The middle size ones are synthetic crystals Vendra's managed to craft from her own energies. I've been studying them to try and understand the Nether Dimension better, to see if I can find a way to reverse the adaption Vendra and Neftin went through coming here to a halfway point, so they can survive in both realities."
Maud stared at the rocks. "Fascinating," she murmured softly, her voice otherwise completely monotone. "The qualities of the rock share similar qualities to the magical rock of Equestria, but are completely different from any rock elsewhere in the galaxy."
"I had the same reaction when I first found Carbuncle deposits on Veldin, only to learn it was called Mana Stone here," Twilight explained. "Do you think you can help me analyze the rocks a bit? You might see something I missed."
"I would be overjoyed," Maud replied, her voice still monotone. "However, I won't be staying in town long. I have quite a few obligations regarding my Rocktorate."
Twilight gently picked up one of the smaller, more portable, natural stones. "In that case, take this one with you," she offered. "You can write me your findings."
Maud cradled the relatively tiny stone gently in one hoof, the pink glow casting odd shadows over her face. "I have never been more excited in my life," she spoke up flatly. "Wee."
Twilight did her best not to giggle.
"...you want me to what?" Twilight asked flatly, placing emphasis on the interrogative.
"...turn me into a pony?" Qwark asked carefully. "Like you turned me into a Breezie...but for longer?"
"...why?" Twilight demanded, completely poleaxed by this request that had come out of nowhere.
"It's...um...hard to explain..." Qwark replied evasively.
Twilight stared flat eyed at him for a time. "...start at the beginning."
"Well...I've been spending most of my time recently helping out at Sweet Apple Acres," he explained slowly. "I mean, the town doesn't need much hero work, and they can always use an extra hand, and I have all these muscles..."
"Right, right," Twilight agreed, trying to hurry things along. Inside, however, she was pleased to learn why Applejack had seemed so distracted lately.
"Anyway, recently Applejack had a run in with these two unicorns named Flim and Flam," Qwark continued. "Now, I try to be understanding about pony naming conventions...but were their parents trying to turn them into con artists? Cause their names scream that more than Nefarious' name screams 'villain'."
Twilight chuckled softly. "Well-"
"And I know some ponies change their names when they reach adulthood and enter a career based on their special talent, choosing one that better reflects that, but even if you were going into a career as a con artist, why would you pick names that told everyone that's what you were?" Qwark continued. "...then again, it makes a catchy business name, and they are that good when it comes to sales..."
"Yes, I remember them," Twilight agreed. "Last time they were in town was for cider season...did Applejack tell you about that one?"
"She mentioned it when I asked her why she showed such antipasto to their mere presence," Qwark explained.
Twilight facehooved. "Antipathy," she corrected.
"Right, that flavor," Qwark confirmed, resulting in yet another facehoof. "Anyway, they were selling some sort of miracle tonic, and it was helping Granny Smith move around and enjoy swimming again. Applejack was suspicious, but didn't want to upset Granny...but it turned out the 'tonic' was nothing but apple juice mixed with sage." A smirk crossed his face. "Sweet Apple Acres apple juice, at that."
"They were selling Granny Smith her own apple juice back as medicine?" Twilight gasped out in shock.
"Yup!" Qwark confirmed. "Applejack was a mite upset when she discovered this...but they convinced her not to say anything so Granny would keep enjoying the effects of the 'tonic'."
Twilight nodded. "Right, the placebo effect only works if you don't know it's a placebo."
"Well, I know con artists, having been one...and I decided to act to prevent something I felt Applejack missed..."
------
As Applejack left the tent, Flim and Flam turned to each other to plan how to take advantage of this new situation with Applejack deciding not to say anything about the tonic's true nature.
"Gentlestallions, might I have a word?" Qwark spoke up as he stepped out of the shadows, towering over the pair. Before either of them could speak, Qwark leaned down. "See, I know your type. I wore those stripes myself once in my life...and I know how you think. But I will say this..."
Reaching out, he seized both stallions by their horns. "If you try to prey on Applejack's honest reputation by claiming she's 'endorsed' this tonic without her express permission in writingand witnessed, I will shove these so far up your plots you'll have to open your mouths to cast! Is that clear?"
Both stallions let out startled squeaks, nodding like terrified mice.
Qwark released them both. "I'm so glad we understand each other." He turned to go. "Oh, one more thing...I apparently have the ability to warp reality around me based on what I know and believe..." He turned and gave them a surprisingly convincing evil grin. "And I don't know the first thing about pony anatomy. Think about that before looking at my threat as harmless hyperbole."
-----
"You actually used the right word," Twilight mused with a chuckle. "I'm pleasantly surprised, and impressed."
"I practiced that speech from the moment Applejack decided to investigate the tonic," Qwark explained. "I didn't want to screw up the menace by using the wrong constabulary."
"...vocabulary..." Twilight corrected with a sigh.
"I'd meant to not let Applejack know I'd done that," Qwark continued carefully, "but I didn't realize how good pony hearing is. She was...surprisingly appreciative. Said she'd never had anyone 'defend her honor' before." He scratched under his nose as his cheeks colored slightly.
A beatific smile crossed Twilight's face. "Was that the end of the incident with Flim and Flam?" Twilight asked curiously.
"No," Qwark admitted. "They kept selling the tonic, Granny kept buying...and she started getting reckless. To keep her from doing something that might have gotten her killed, she had to spill the beans about the tonic being worthless. Granny was really upset about Applejack lying to her through omission...and I stepped in a bit."
"...what did you do?" Twilight asked, frowning.
"Well, I told Granny that Applejack wasn't lying," Qwark explained. "And...the whole town as well, since everyone was listening. Told them that Flim and Flam never sold anyone any fake medicine...because they were never selling medicine in the first place. All along...they were selling hope. The hope that what they had could solve the problems everyone had, could give them the strength to overcome them. And if they were such good salesponies that they could take apple juice and sage and turn it into a miracle cure through a sales pitch...was it really fraud? They promised that by drinking the tonic, illness, aches, pains, and injuries could be overcome. Ponies drank the tonic, and they overcame it all. The power to overcome may have come from the ponies rather than the tonic...but it came out because Flim and Flam convinced everyone it would." He shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, my superpower is about making things happen because I believe. That's all they were doing...instilling belief strong enough that it creates reality. How can we fault them for that? We got what we paid for...we overcame our ills."
Twilight blinked in surprise. "That's...actually rather profound, Qwark. How'd everypony take it?"
"...Flim and Flam left town with a chest full of coins, the well wishes of a town, and an invitation from Granny to stop by for the holidays if they didn't have plans," Qwark explained.
Twilight smiled softly. "Rather impressive," she offered as she lifted her cup to her lips.
"And Applejack asked me out."
Twilight blinked, took her sip, and performed the spittake she felt that announcement deserved. "...and that's why you're asking me to turn you into a pony?"
"...it worked for Nefarious?" Qwark offered carefully. "Sides...Applejack was rather...affectionate when she asked me out, and I'm worried things might get..." He gestured with his hands, shaping Applejack's size relative to his own. Applejack barely came up to his knee. "...awkward."
"...so this is how Dad feels," Twilight murmured softly. "...I'll see what I can do..."
Twilight settled Rainbow in the middle of the library. "Alright, time to help you study for the Wonderbolts history exam," Twilight stated firmly. "You need to pass it to get into the Wonderbolts Reserve."
Rainbow groaned under her breath. "Why the heck do I need to learn this stuff?" she grumbled.
Twilight tapped her chin. "Well, either because 'those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it'-"
"Not that tired old saw," Rainbow growled irritably.
"-or because given my adventures, there's a very real possibility you might end up reliving it," Twilight concluded.
Rainbow blinked a few times. "...okay, that makes sense."
"I've personally always felt the best way to learn something is to experience it as best as possible," Twilight continued. "As such, I've asked Grandpa Orvus to lend me one of the Great Clock's temporal viewers so you can watch the founding of the Wonderbolts unfold as it happened."
As the massive screen took shape and began showing images out of Equestria's distant past, Rainbow's eyes slowly widened. "So...awesome..."
"I thought you'd think so," Twilight allowed with a gentle smile.
"Best history teacher ever..." Rainbow moaned as she soon became completely wrapped up in events, her wings flapping idly as she hovered from sheer excitement.
Twilight stared flat eyed down at the ponies gathered before her as she listened to what had happened. "So...let me get this straight," she clarified as she turned to the stranger pony. "You told Rainbow Dash you'd trade that book for this Orthos-" She gestured to the two headed dog that sat panting in the center of the courtyard. "-but by the time she'd managed to acquire one and come back to you, you'd decided you didn't want one because it was too much of a hooffull."
"That's right!" the mare confirmed. "But-"
Twilight raised a hoof, silencing her. "But Fluttershy convinced you that an Orthos could be handled easily if you knew what you were doing, at which point you agreed to the trade...on the condition that Fluttershy came to stay with you until the Orthos was fully trained."
"Uh...yes, Princess," the mare confirmed, beginning to get nervous.
"And what did Fluttershy get out of that deal?" Twilight clarified.
"B-beg pardon?" the mare asked.
"The trade of Orthos for book is perfectly valid," Twilight clarified. "That's a straight trade of the property of one pony for that of another. However, Fluttershy was not party to the trade, and thus her time wasn't something Rainbow could trade away in the first place...which is why she's brought this to my attention in my post of Trade Fair Princess as soon as she came back to her senses. So..." She leaned forward intimidatingly. "What did Fluttershy get out of the trade?"
The mare began to sweat. "Err, I...uh..."
"Because the laws of the Trade Fair are very specific," Twilight clarified. "Anything may be traded, whether product or service, as long as all parties of the trade come away satisfied with the results." She pointed to the mare. "You are one party to this trade." She pointed to Rainbow. "She is another." She then pointed to Fluttershy. "And Fluttershy is the third party to the trade." She turned to Fluttershy. "Are you satisfied with the outcome of the trade?"
Fluttershy hemmed and hawed. "Well...I want Rainbow to get that book she really wants...but I don't like the idea of leaving Ponyville, especially not to stay with somepony I don't know..."
Twilight then turned back to the mare who was now visibly sweating. "Well? It certainly seems to me that this trade isn't abiding by the rules of the fair. Unless there's some part of this trade I'm missing..."
The mare glanced beseechingly towards Fluttershy for help. While the rules about what sort of trade was allowed at the fair were relatively lax, the rules regarding trade violations - such as this was shaping up to be - were exceptionally harsh, part of what kept the Trade Fair open and friendly.
"Well..." Fluttershy began softly. "I...I was hoping to trade my bear call for a bird call..."
Quickly searching her inventory, the mare pulled one out. "Trade you the bird call for your training services?" she asked desperately. "You can write me when the Orthos is fully trained, and I'll come pick him up!" She looked up at Twilight. "That work?"
"If those terms are acceptable for Fluttershy," Twilight concluded.
Smiling, Fluttershy took the Orthos leash and the bird call. "I'm okay with that."
As the group dispersed, Rainbow Dash flew up to her. "Thanks so much for that, Twi-"
Twilight promptly smacked Rainbow Dash on the muzzle with a rolled up newspaper. "Friends don't trade friends into indentured servitude for books!" she snapped out. "When we get back to Ponyville, you're going to need to make this up to Fluttershy big time...after you finish copying lines."
"Copying...lines?" Rainbow gasped worriedly.
" 'I will not put my desires before my friend's well being', however many times it takes the lesson to stick," Twilight stated firmly. "That's what you get for disappointing a teacher."
Twilight grinned widely as she watched Spike ignite the torch for the Equestria Games. Having remembered her own troubles with stage fright and how suddenly it could hit - that first commercial she was in sprung to mind - she had talked to Spike before he went up to light the torch, teaching him the way she'd discovered worked best to get past stage fright.
Close your eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget everyone. Forget the world around you. It's just you and me, back at the library. You're building your wind for bigger fire again. It's just practice. Forget everyone watching you. Just show me.
While not Ratchet's exact words after that first TV interview, the gist of it was the same as the coaching he'd given her so she could handle being on camera. And as she watched the torch ignite, she knew they had helped Spike, too.
Twilight was rather surprised at the urgent summons to Canterlot, especially when she was instructed to only bring Spike with her. While confused, she recognized from the tone of the letter that it was of supreme importance, and thus instructed Qwark to keep an eye on Ponyville while she was away, placing him in charge of the town's defense. While Ratchet, Clank, and even Nefarious were better tacticians and strategists, Qwark had proven again and again that no one bested him when it came to playing tank, and the others were more likely to hare off on attempts at a flashy resolution to a threatening situation involving them plunging into the heart of enemy forces to single-handedly destroy the oncoming onslaught. While all well and good, Twilight wanted someone in charge who knew how to Sit and Stay.
She'd actually been glad to be more or less left out of the latest interaction with foreign dignitaries up in the Crystal Empire. She'd never liked the 'sit pretty and polite' part of politics, much preferring when she could just tell the various politicos what they had to do knowing she'd be obeyed implicitly. Thinking about that had made her realize why she so readily compared being Qwark's VP to being Nefarious' Dragon, as the trope would describe it. However, those thoughts were not for now, as she was about to meet with Celestia, Luna, and Cadence in Canterlot regarding whatever matter of importance called for this emergency meeting.
As she took her seat at the table with the others, Celestia began explaining. "Tirek and his brother Scorpan came to this land with the intent of stealing Equestrian magic," she explained, showing images within a storybook for reference. "But Scorpan-"
"Yeah, I kinda already know all this," Twilight interrupted. "When I haven't been overseeing unimportant affairs or spitting common sense at my friends to get them to drop the idiot balls they've been stuck with or playing tutor to their sisters, I've been spending the time since the Tree of Harmony spat that box out using the Time Window Grandpa Orvus lent me to look back through Equestria's ancient history for any of the old villains and threats that were still alive that I might have to deal with, just to make sure we can handle them without the Elements." She then glanced over at Luna. "But speaking of Scorpan..."
Luna glanced away, suppressing a blush. "That particular event is not important to the current crisis, Twilight," she grumbled in embarrassment.
"But yeah, I'm already aware of Tirek and all that," Twilight continued. "Let me guess, he escaped Tartarus back when Cerberus wandered from his post, and he's finally regained enough strength to start stealing pony magic again?"
Cadence chuckled at Celestia's stunned expression. "Really, Auntie, you should have expected this," she pointed out playfully. "Twilight was always one to be as prepared as ponily possible for any conceivable situation, the only limit being the situations she could conceive of. Her galactic adventures have simply expanded - if not flat out removed - that limitation, so she's obviously the best equipped to hunt down Tirek. That's why you called her here, isn't it?"
"Actually, I had another in mind for that task," Celestia corrected, trying to smooth past the awkwardness she felt. "Discord has the ability to sense imbalances in the magical field, such as when Tirek drains a pony's magic-"
"Can he sense it over the experiments I've been running in my lab regarding the fundamental nature of Equestria's magical field?" Twilight asked worriedly. "I mean, he's popped in no less than 17 times complaining of the headache they've been giving him, and despite all efforts I haven't been able to tweak it so he doesn't feel it, and that's not the sort of experiment you just shut off..."
Celestia stared at Twilight, completely poleaxed. "...Twilight, I'm not entirely certain now if there is a way to stop Tirek-"
"I just need to tweak my RYNO weapons to run on Harmony energy," Twilight interrupted. "Based on my studies, the primary function of Harmony Power is to restore things to their natural state...in this case, returning any magic Tirek's stolen to the ponies he's stolen it from. Which means my friends and I should head to the Palace of the Pony Sisters and focus on getting the box open. Probably safer to plug the big guns into that then trying to plug them into the Tree of Harmony directly."
"And...what?" Luna asked worriedly. "After that, you simply intend to wait until Tirek comes to Ponyville before blasting him to bits?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Twilight confirmed. "I mean, Ponyville and the Everfree is one of the most magic-rich regions on the entire continent. If Tirek wants to steal all of Equestria's magic, he'll come there eventually...and a powerful enough Harmony blast will repair any damage he's done in the meantime. Heck, as soon as he has enough strength he thinks he can take anything short of an alicorn, he'll probably head for the Everfree for a hiding place while he drains magic from the creatures there, and any pony who wanders into the forest. If he's going to come to me anyway, why should I put myself - and thus the country - in danger by looking for him?"
Celestia groaned, burying her face in her hooves. "I can't argue the point...but by the Makers, I need a vacation."
"By the way, Nefarious is going to be kidnapping us before the afternoon is up," Twilight pointed out. "Qwark is going to team up with Shining, Pinkie, and Spike to rescue us, since Nefarious has already snagged Rarity."
"You seem remarkably lax about the idea of your boyfriend kidnapping you and the rest of us," Cadence pointed out as Celestia and Luna glanced around nervously.
"He's going to be holding us in the Ponyville Day Spa," Twilight pointed out. "He was already taking over it when I left for this meeting. It's how he snagged Rarity in the first place."
"So...this 'kidnapping' is actually a carefully veiled excuse for a vacation just before a huge crisis?" Luna clarified carefully.
"In essence," Twilight confirmed.
Celestia let out a resigned sigh. "...just let me grab my shades..."
The mini-vacation in the 'taken over' Ponyville Day Spa proved to be as relaxing as Twilight had expected it to be for all involved. However, much to her chagrin, having all four alicorns in one place and seemingly defenseless did not lead to Tirek bursting in to try and steal all the alicorn magic. Probably a vain hope, considering Celestia had implied the effort it took for Tirek to drain magic was proportionate to the amount of magic the pony he was stealing from had and alicorns naturally had a great deal more magic than the average pony, but it would have ended the situation rather handily. Instead, Twilight was forced to work on her fallback plan of Harmony powered RYNO weaponry.
It had taken her a week to reproduce an additional five pony-based RYNO VI Protosuits designed to interface with each other and her own Protosuit and to run on Harmony energy, and an additional week to customize them all to each of her friends' combat styles. (Admittedly, most of that week was taken up figuring out that Fluttershy did indeed have a combat style, apparently based heavily in wrestling and chokeholds that she primarily used when performing chiropractic care on her larger animal friends.) She then brought her friends to the Tree of Harmony to familiarize themselves with the non-combat controls of the Protosuits while she did her best to solve the riddle of the box.
"Now let's see..." Twilight murmured as she examined the box. "The Tree gave us the box after returning the Elements of Harmony, so it should be some other way of tapping that power, or something similar. There are six keyholes, requiring six keys. Six Elements of Harmony, six of us...one key for each of us." She bent down to peer into one of the keyholes. "Despite the standard appearance of the keyholes, the locks are actually magical, and are quantumly entangled so that the box can only be opened if all six keys are turned together."
"You got all that just by looking?" Rainbow asked in shock.
"No, I got all that after studying it off and on every time I was in the Everfree ever since the Tree spat it out," Twilight corrected. "This examination is just helping me collate my thoughts." She returned her focus to the box. "I'm not even going to try to circumvent these locks. Not only would that likely fail, the box's higher dimensional nature likely would backfire explosively if the locks were forced. Safety measures like this are usually there to ensure whatever power is locked inside is accessed safely and properly. Not doing so is just asking for trouble."
"So...we gotta get our house keys or somethin'?" Applejack asked curiously.
"I don't actually lock my house," Fluttershy pointed out meekly. "So...I don't have any keys."
"No, it wouldn't be physical keys," Twilight corrected. "More like metaphorical keys, tied to our Elements."
"Metaphorical keys?" Spike asked, his voice full of confusion. "What, like something that represents a lesson you all learned about the nature of your Element beyond what you knew?"
"...actually, that could well be it," Twilight admitted thoughtfully. "It could be we've each recently learned a lesson about our Element that made us understand a side of it we hadn't thought of before, which reacted with the Element energy inside our bodies and exposure to the higher dimensional nature of this box to become energized with a transformative matrix which will cause them to become the keys when exposed directly to the box."
Spike blinked a few times. "I...think I understood half of that."
"Girls!" Twilight called out. "Come over here! I think I know how we can get this box open."
A quick explanation - followed by a slower explanation that didn't use as many scientific terms - later, and everypony was on the same page. "So...some item we got recently when we learned something about our Elements will become keys when exposed to the box?" Rainbow clarified. "Pretty sure I know exactly what mine is." Reaching into her bag, she pulled out the pin Spitfire had given her. "I...guess this is what I learned about...being loyal to myself? Not really sure how to put it into words." A rainbow sheen flared over the pin as she set it near the box.
"Oh hey!" Pinkie cried out. "I recognize that sheen!" Reaching into her mane, she pulled out the rubber chicken Cheese Sandwich had given her. It too flared with rainbow light. "It might not be the lesson, but Cheesy taught me a whole new way to laugh!"
Applejack quickly decided to change the subject. "Silver Shill - the guy who was workin' fer Flim and Flam - gave me this bit, since I taught him about what it meant to be true to one's values...even if that didn't mean always bein' 100% honest." The bit flared with rainbow light.
Rarity and Fluttershy each set out their own keys, a rainbow colored spool of thread from Coco Pommel and a flower from Seabreeze the Breezie. All the items showed the same rainbow sheen as they reacted to the box. "So...what now?" Fluttershy asked worriedly.
"Is there some spell to work?" Rarity asked curiously. "Or a ritual perhaps?"
Pinkie seized her rubber chicken. "Come on Boneless!" she shrieked out as she shook it. "Spill the beans!" As she shook it, it slipped out of her hooves to fly against the box. As it impacted, it blazed in a pale rainbow light, spun rapidly, and folded in on itself in the shape of a key with the balloon mark of the Element of Laughter on it, inserting itself into the keyhole.
"...that works," Rainbow allowed, picking up her pin.
"I don't think throwing is necessary!" Twilight called out quickly. "Merely placing it against the box should do the trick!" After all, the pin had a sharp point.
Each of the others placed their items against the box, causing them to take the shape of keys. All eyes then turned to Twilight. "So...my key..." Twilight murmured thoughtfully.
"Think, Twilight," Rarity offered helpfully. "When have you completed a difficult magical task, and in doing so learned something new about Friendship through interaction with another?"
"Since the box appeared? Can't say I have," Twilight murmured thoughtfully. "I mean, I can think of a few from before, but I hadn't encountered the box yet-"
"You said the box was hyperdimensional or something!" Pinkie pointed out. "And you did that quantum entangle brain thing with the Great Clock. Maybe that means some object got the box energy from you before you actually encountered the box, especially if the future entanglement point was post all this."
"I...actually don't know when the future entanglement point was," Twilight allowed, "so that's a distinct possibility. And the past entanglement point was during the trip from Equestria to Veldin, so it could be anywhere in my life." Idly, she stroked her Q pendant thoughtfully, not noticing it giving off a brief rainbow sheen.
"Uh...Twilight?" Spike asked, having caught the glow. "What about that?" He pointed to the charm.
"This?" Twilight asked. "Qwark gave it to me the night after he officially became my big brother. It was just after the worst of my separation anxiety issues built up - what with what the...the Technomites did to me...after the Dreadzone..." Shuddering, she banished those memories quickly as the others pulled her instantly into a comforting hug. "He said as long as I wore it, he'd always be with me. It's helped me deal with the worst of that to the point I'm almost normal. I'm sure it must be something else."
The others exchanged significant glances. "Uh...Twi?" Applejack spoke up. "That kinda sounds exactly like what we're looking for as far as key item."
"And it did just give off a-" Rainbow began.
"No!" Twilight snapped instantly. "It's definitely something else! It's gotta be something else that's going to get metaphysically transformed into some key to unlock Harmony power, some object I can handle never getting back! Not this!" She clutched the pendant protectively, starting to hyperventilate.
The others stared at her sympathetically. After all, their own objects that became keys were of at best momentary sentimental value, reminders of the lesson or a new friendship and little more. But for Twilight...it was the symbol of a bond that had shaped and stabilized her childhood and helped her remain mentally well - relatively speaking - into adulthood. For them, it had been a shiny bauble they'd barely had time to get attached to. For her, it was like asking her to let them take away her security blanket that she'd never been able to let go of.
As the others moved forward to pull Twilight into a hug, Rarity stepped back thoughtfully. She had an idea of something she might be able to do to fix this, but it would take a bit of time...
As the others continued to try and comfort Twilight, Rarity had moved to the edge of the cavern with her supplies so she could work in sunlight in an attempt to accomplish what she'd set out to do. However, much to her frustration, she found she lacked the supplies she needed for what she'd come up with. "Oh drat it all!" she grumbled to herself. "I suppose I'll just have to make my way back to Ponyville to retrieve what I need. I do hope I have enough back there-"
"Is this what you need?" Dr. Nefarious asked as he trumped around a corner in his bipedal form, his arms full of boxes that Rarity recognized, both from her Boutique and from Twilight's library. "Orvus gave me a checklist, I assume it's for whatever you're doing. Something wrong with Twilight?"
"It appears her Key to the Box is something she is...unwilling to lose," Rarity offered delicately, smoothing over her own shock at Nefarious' appearance as best she could. While her initial kidnapping by Nefarious had been somewhat rough and unpleasant, discovering it was specifically an opportunity for Spike - amongst others - to 'play hero' had smoothed some of her ruffling, and being 'held hostage' at the spa of all places had deadened any urge to free herself. Still, despite deciding she liked Nefarious as a person, she could never be entirely comfortable around him after that. She'd actually told him so straight out...and he'd considered it a compliment. Twilight has the oddest tastes, Rarity thought to herself, not for the first time. Still, if he makes her happy... "She's having a bit of a crisis over this right now," she continued aloud. "Do you think you could cuddle and comfort her to keep her from noticing that the rest of us have moved elsewhere for a time?"
"The first is well within my abilities," Nefarious responded immediately as Rarity took the boxes. "The second depends on how deep she is in her denial fugue, and the third on how much privacy the rest of you want to provide us."
"...I'll settle for the first, then," Rarity replied awkwardly, backing away from the most definitely evil mastermind.
Once Nefarious had Twilight in his arms, Rarity brought the others over as she began opening the boxes. As she'd hoped to find, seven essence crystals - one already imbued with Qwark's essence - gold for settings, and silver chain to hang it all from once it was complete. "Girls, it's plain Twilight is not comfortable without some physical representation of the bonds she shares with others on her at all times," she explained softly. "Probably why she was so willing to shoot her way to her Element when it was stolen. Now, obviously that charm is her Key...but we shouldn't leave her without something."
"So what'd you have in mind, Rarity?" Pinkie asked eagerly. "Huh? Huh? Huh?"
Smiling softly, she handed out five of the uncharged essence crystals. "For starters, each of you hold these close to you. Spikey-wikey, breathe a steady stream of fire onto yours. In the meantime, I'll get to work on the setting." Once she saw the others were doing as she instructed, she stuck her own essence crystal into her mouth - as unladylike as it was, it would absorb the imprint faster that way and she needed her hooves and horn-focus free for this - as she began carefully reshaping the essence crystal with Qwark's imprint. Once it was in the proper shape, she beckoned Spike over to heat the gold so she could reshape it easier for the setting.
Once it was done, she directed each of the others to place their stones, before placing her own. "So...what do you all think?" Rarity asked as she showed them the finished product.
The gold pendant was set in the pattern of the stylized Elements of Harmony as pictured in the Reference Guide. Each of the five mares' crystals were placed where their Elements went in that design, with Spike's crystal in the center glowing with his green fire. Surrounding that center crystal was Qwark's, shaped into his trademark Q. The whole thing hung on a silver chain.
"Rares...I'd say ya done just perfect," Applejack concluded as she admired the charm.
"It's beautiful," Spike agreed.
"I'm not really one for ornamentation...but I like it," Rainbow offered with her usual bravado.
"Oh my, it's gorgeous!" Fluttershy concurred.
"So...what?" Pinkie asked curiously. "Giving her a...replacement?"
"Something like that," Rarity said graciously as she levitated the charm into the air, walking it over towards Twilight. "If Twilight needs something to wear to always remind her that she is never alone...then I think this will do admirably, as she carries a piece of all of us with her now." As she finished speaking, she hung the pendant around Twilight's neck.
Twilight stirred as she stared down at the two pendants hanging side by side. "...all of you..." she whispered softly, stroking the new pendant. "It's..."
Much to everyone's surprise, both pendants suddenly flashed with a rainbow sheen.
"What?" Rainbow demanded in disbelief. "She's gotta give up both of them now?"
"No," Nefarious swiftly corrected before any hysteria could form. "Both pendants now qualify for triggering the key reaction. Twilight...can now choose which one to give up."
Rarity and the others watched her carefully. While they had put a bit of themselves into the new charm - and Rarity had put in a great deal of effort - they all would understand if she felt she had to keep the older one for the sentimental value, the symbol of that promise that had long helped her stay sane.
Smiling softly, Twilight lifted the original Q charm off her neck. "Thank you for everything, BBBFF. I think...I think, with the help of my friends...I'm finally ready to stand on my own." Giving the pendant a soft kiss, she placed it reverently on the Box.
The pendant blazed with light, and split into two spheres of energy. One embedded itself in the pendant Twilight now wore. The other took shape as the key, placing itself in the final lock.
"And the original one's still with you after all," Fluttershy offered comfortingly, wrapping a wing around Twilight as tears beaded her eyes.
As the initial surge of emotion started to fade, Nefarious' entire body suddenly jerked upward. "Yowza, that's a bad one!" he suddenly called out.
"What do you mean?" Twilight demanded worriedly.
"I've been tweaking my sensors to detect building magical power levels," Nefarious explained. "Figured if I could pinpoint a specific being slowly gathering power to itself, I could locate Tirek that way. I've been tracking a few possibilities...and one of them just underwent a massive boost in power, and is now on a direct course for Ponyville!"
"Then we have to move!" Twilight called out. "Everypony to their Protosuits! Let's see if turning the keys with them will energize them with the power of the box!"
Pinkie giggled as she pronked into hers. "Seat belts, everyone!" she called out perkily.
"...can't this be just an ordinary field trip-I mean, final battle?" Spike whimpered.
"With pink frizz?" Nefarious joked, pointing at Pinkie Pie. "NO WAY!"
The keys turned. Nefarious prepared tons of popcorn.
Tirek slowly marched towards Ponyville, determined to achieve his goal. Admittedly, at his size 'slowly' was a relative statement, as he'd managed to successfully drain enough magic to now tower over most buildings after stumbling across a unicorn horn fragment that provided him with enough stolen dark power to put him over the top for his growth, to the point the magic of lesser ponies would no longer increase his size. If he came across any alicorns, he could drain them utterly now and they'd be helpless to stop them...and he knew exactly where to find them. He had felt the concentration of alicorn magic in that small village and seen four alicorns there, though he had been unable to act then as his power wasn't enough to match one alicorn, let alone four.
As he towered over Ponyville, he saw numerous ponies racing around in terror at his appearance. Taking a deep breath, he drained them all of their magic in a single stroke before moving to leave the small village behind. While he had no need to steal more magic at this point, this endeavor had never been about need to begin with. He wanted all the magic of Equestria, and he would have it!
"Halt, evildoer!"
Hearing that voice, Tirek paused. He was genuinely surprised any resident of this pathetic settlement had the strength to stand after having their magic drained. Turning, he looked towards the source of the voice...and what he saw gave him pause. Two legs, two arms, bipedal, in an obvious superhero costume... "A human?" he murmured softly, shocked.
"You bring terror to this settlement that is under my protection!" the human proclaimed dramatically. "You have trespassed on this land I call my home! This will not be tolerated, and I shall bring down the swift hammer of justice upon your head with pain most exhumating, or my name isn't...Captain Qwark!" As he proclaimed the last, he thrust one hand into the air with a single finger extended while his other fist was cocked at his hip in an almost cliche superhero pose.
Much to the surprise of all Ponyville residents witness to the display...Tirek took a fearful step back. "A human...armed with imagination?" Tirek murmured, his voice somewhat fearful.
What even the Princesses didn't know was that this was Tirek's third attempt at claiming Equestria's power for his own, and the first had actually been in a previous life. Those events, however, were part of Equestrian history that officially didn't happen, and predated the land even being known as Equestria, or even the founding of three distinct tribes! In that time, the land had been populated almost entirely by ponies, with few other races of beings...but there had also been that most dangerous of races to magical beings present...humans.
While adult humans posed little threat unless they possessed magic - in which case they were generally evil - the real danger was young humans. They were armed with a most dangerous power to have in a world of magic, a power called imagination. This power could reshape the magic of the land, weaponizing it in ways the natives could not do on their own. The imagination of human children had created and powered a weapon called the Rainbow of Light, which had defeated him time and time again until the power of his last life was permanently broken. Said Rainbow was now sealed away in the Tree of Harmony, hopefully to never be released again.
Tirek was no fool. When he had figured out what power those children had wielded that had destroyed him, he sought out sages in the spirit lands to explain how such power could be countered. He had learned of a strategy that would work...but also a warning for if it didn't. However, based on the bad vocabulary, this was surely just a human child with an overactive imagination, having crafted a magical battle form for themselves with which to 'protect' the ponies. Reaching into his satchel, Tirek drew forth the weapon he had prepared to counter such a thing...a Walter PPK handgun. "Stay out of this if you know what's good for you," he growled dangerously, knowing that the intrusion of such 'real world' threats would break a child's ability to use their 'imagination' in this world they considered not-quite-real.
Qwark puffed up his chest and laughed derisively. "You fool! Mere bullets cannot harm the mighty CAPTAIN QWARK!" Sauntering forward, Qwark braced himself with the barrel of the gun right between his eyes. "Go ahead...make my day."
Tirek's eyes widened in abject terror. This human was not armed with imagination...his imagination had escaped the bounds of sanity, and entered the uncontrollable realm of delusion. A human armed with such in a land of magic was truly invincible, for the normal rules of magical reality would hold no sway over them so long as their conviction never faltered. Tirek did the only thing he could think of to survive this situation. Dropping the gun, he raised his hands to the sky. "I surrender!"
Captain Qwark let out a proud belly laugh. "Behold! Yet another villain vanquished without a single punch thrown! Yet again the day is saved by the silver tongue of...CAPTAIN QWARK!"
"Oh, come on!" an upset voice echoed across the landscape. "BBBFF, I just got the Harm-RYNony mecha operational!"
Turning towards the voice, Tirek's jaw dropped. Marching towards him out of the Everfree was a massive robotic construct thrumming with the energies of the Rainbow of Light. "...Mommy..." he whimpered softly, tears in his eyes.
"Well, we still need to get him to release the stolen magic," Qwark pointed out. "Fire away, LSBFF and co!"
"I wanna go home..." Tirek whimpered as the massive blaster was leveled at him. A single power chord later, and everything was rainbows and light.
As the power left the joined RYNO protosuits, they defused and landed apart. "What a rush!" Rainbow cried out happily as a wizened - and whimpering - Tirek was carted back to Tartarus. "Can we do that again?"
Twilight rubbed a hoof against her chin as she and her other friends clambered out of the Protosuits. "Well..."
The protosuits suddenly blazed with light, sucked back into the Box. In the middle of the Everfree, the box blazed with light before shooting into the sky some half a mile above the Golden Oaks library. It spun rapidly there...and then began to unfold.
The box unfolded over and over and over again as it became bigger and bigger, slowly expanding. Towers shot up out of it as it spread to a flat surface, and crystal stalactites extended out from the bottom like pylons. Within moments, what had been a tiny box was now a massive flying crystal castle, hovering in the air and humming with magic and Zoni energy.
As all of Equestria stared up at the impossible construction, one voice was raised above others...Twilight's.
"WANT!"
Achievement Unlocked: SCARY! Make Tirek surrender.
Twilight and the others stared up at the glimmering crystal castle as it floated above the Golden Oaks Library, somehow not casting a shadow on the ground below despite the castle's towers casting shadow's on its own structures. As Twilight muttered under her breath in an attempt to figure out how this was possible - all it took was one mention of 'selective reality structure matrices' for the others to decide they didn't want to know - Applejack brought up what she found was a concern. "So...castle," she mentioned softly.
"Yeah...flyin' castle," Applejack confirmed. "So...how do we get up there? Ah mean, Rarity, Pinkie and I don't have wings-"
"Yet," Twilight spoke up. "Given how the box blended our energies through the power of Harmony as we shaped that giant Harmony Battle Bot, I'm pretty sure the 'nascent potential' Luna talked about is in all of you now, if it wasn't already. Guessing it'll be a century on the outside before all of you ascend."
"...not the most comforting of news," Rarity murmured worriedly as she turned towards Pinkie, trying not to imagine what could happen if that mare got hold of alicorn magic.
"...well, ah don't see any o' us sproutin' feathers yet," Applejack pointed out, going back to her original concern. "While that might not be a problem fer Pinkie and her weird shortcuts, what about-"
A beam of light streamed down over the group, turning the six mares and Spike into points of light before sucking them up.
"-us...?" Applejack finished as the group finished reforming inside the castle, its crystal walls soaring into immeasurable heights in excess of its external dimensions as its long halls seemed to stretch up to countless floors and out into infinity from the central chamber they were in. "...whoa nelly..." she breathed in amazement, pulling her hat off as she stared up at the grandeur.
"Goodness!" Rarity yelped as she stared around at the faintly glowing walls as they seemed to hum with untapped potential. "It's...it's gorgeous!"
"It's so...warm and inviting..." Fluttershy marveled as she stared around at the pale pinks, fairy blues, and occasional rainbow patterns in the crystal of the walls, a living crystal tree growing out of the walls after every fifth door.
"It goes on forever!" Rainbow yelped out in shock, her voice echoing back from the long halls.
"What is this place?" Pinkie demanded in stunned amazement.
"I...I...I can't make sense of this!" Twilight gasped out, shaking her head.
"Maybe we should start there?" Spike suggested, pointing to a circle of seven thrones.
The group moved to the center of the circle, where they could look around at the seven thrones. To their surprise, six of them were marked with the symbols of the Elements of Harmony, while the seventh was marked with a green flame. "Are...are these for us?" Rainbow asked in surprise.
"Only one way to find out," Spike stated determinedly, marching up to the flame marked throne. As he clambered into it, the arm of the throne extended a leaf-bladed crystal dagger engraved with flowing runes. "Ooh, nice!" he murmured, taking hold of it and placing it against his hip, where it affixed itself of its own will.
Carefully, each of the six mares took the throne marked with their Element...and all seven thrones blazed with light. The light focused in the space between the thrones, and a wide table grew out of the floor before displaying a holographic map of Equestria. Twilight immediately started to hyperventilate.
"I...I think I know...what this is...but it's impossible..." Twilight murmured worriedly. "But we're nowhere near the Edge of the World..."
As no one understood what she was talking about, they turned back to the map...only to see their six Cutie Marks floating in the air over a spot far distant from the center of Equestria. "...call it a shot in the dark, but I think we need to go there if we want answers," Rainbow offered dryly.
"That's...quite a trip," Applejack murmured worriedly. "Gonna take quite a while ta get there-"
"I think I know a quicker way," Spike suddenly spoke up, clutching the knife at his belt as his eyes went a little distant. Hopping off his throne, he turned towards one of the halls. "This way."
Confused, the group followed them even as Twilight continued to hyperventilate. After a time, Spike reached up and opened a door...revealing a path to the small village the Map had indicated on the other side.
"Whoa nelly!" Applejack screamed out in shock, accidentally kicking the door closed. Glancing over at Spike apologetically, she opened the door...only to reveal a plain room. "What the...?"
Twilight suddenly let out a fannish squeal. "It is!" she screamed out. "It's a dimensional reflective infinite waypoint hypersphere!"
"Uh...a what?" Rainbow asked in confusion.
"Each of these doors, if opened properly, goes to a specific point somewhere across Equestria," Twilight explained. "Or the entire planet...or the entire universe, maybe!" She took a deep breath. "And the towers will have omnipresent window views! In old myths, a place like this would be called The House of God!"
"Wait...like...the Maker?" Applejack managed to say as the others stared in silence.
Twilight nodded. "The myths about such things talk of 'God' - or The Maker, if you prefer - building a house from which to observe creation. They then made a door to each spot they created as they made it, only to leave the House behind when they no longer needed it." She took a few panting breaths. "I...I just never believed one could exist...or that I'd actually find it!"
"Keep an eye out for thieves and green eyed cats!" Pinkie piped up perplexingly.
"But...why did the door open properly for Spike, and not for Applejack?" Rarity asked wonderingly.
"Because that's his job here, apparently," Twilight concluded. "And that crystal dagger must be what unlocks it, connecting him to the map. He's...the Doorkeeper."
"...not a really impressive title," Spike grumbled irritably.
"Spike, don't you get it?" Rainbow suddenly gasped out excitedly. "You're the keeper of the doors to Everywhere! Maybe even Everywhen! That is totally awesome!"
Spike puffed out his chest with a pleased smirk. "Well...when you put it like that..." Chuckling with pleasure, he opened the door for the others. "I'll be right here to let you back in."
Smiling, the group stepped through the door and made their way down the path.
It didn't take long for the group to reach the village, if it could be called that. It contained two rows of identical houses on either side of a single street, populated by ponies with oddly grayed out coloration and identical Cutie Marks of a black equal sign. As each pony caught sight of them, they gave an unnaturally wide smile and an enthusiastic if unnatural sounding call of "Welcome!" Eventually, one pony approached the group directly.
"Welcome!" he greeted with the same unnatural smile and wide eyes. "I'm Double Diamond. You're all new here, so you really must meet our leader, Starlight Glimmer!"
Twilight blinked. For some reason, the mere mention of the name sent odd sensations through her mind. "And...where can we find her?" she asked curiously.
Turning, Double Diamond pointed to the one house not in the two straight lines, at the far end of the street.
Nodding, Twilight led the group in a march towards that house even as she mentally checked over the weapons in her armor suit. She had a feeling whatever was going to happen next, she needed to be prepared for anything.
As they approached the house, a mare stepped out. One thing that was immediately noticeable about her was that despite the equal sign Cutie Mark, her colors weren't grayed out and her smile seemed more natural. Her coat was a pale pink, her mane and tail were purple with a teal streak done in the exact same style as Twilight's own, and pale teal eyes. "Welcome," she greeted warmly as she walked down the steps. "It's so rare we get visitors here."
"Well, you are a bit off the beaten path," Twilight observed. "Starlight Glimmer, I presume?"
Unnoticed by Twilight, the mare - presumably Starlight - had jerked upright at the sound of Twilight's voice. She stared at the Princess with wide eyes...and as Twilight finished speaking, the mare rushed forward and threw her forelegs around Twilight's neck. "Mommy!" she cried out despairingly, burying her face in Twilight's mane and crying.
As the sound of a loud record scratch echoed over the town from the house the mare had just left, Applejack voiced everyone's thoughts. "Say what?"
Twilight continued to stare down at the stranger mare clinging to her like a lifeline, the one that had just called her 'Mommy'. "Uhh..." she began again nervously, unsure how exactly to approach this situation.
"Starlight," a stallion's voice called, gently if a tad nervously, from the house. An orange stallion Starlight's age stepped out, with green-blue eyes, white socks, a white mark on his muzzle, and a flaming orange mane, tail, and goatee stepped out of the house wearing glasses and - of all things - a green and blue star speckled wizard cape patterned after Starswirl's, minus the bells. "You really should have held back."
Starlight bit back a sob. "Oh...r-right..." She pulled back from Twilight, managing to get herself under control. "S-sorry. I'm sure that...caught you off guard-"
"Eh, it was her turn for one of these shocks by now," Rainbow pointed out calmly. "Besides, she's used to time travel shenanigans with her family."
"Not when it gives me kids I don't know about!" Twilight pointed out defensively.
"Why don't you let me handle this, Starlight?" Sunburst offered calmly. "You go inside and play with Sunstar."
Starlight nodded slowly. "That...that sounds like a good idea," she murmured, turning and making her way back into the house. Soon, there was the sound of a few bells jingling...and a foal laughing?
"I can explain it," Sunburst spoke up. "At least...as you explained it to me. T-though you didn't have wings then, Your Highness..." He began to stammer as his nervousness kicked in.
"None of that," Twilight chided. "We're...apparently family, so don't go tripping over my title, alright?"
Sunburst nodded. "We...I suppose the simplest way I can explain this is with a picture...or, a graph really." Stepping back, he drew two solid lines on the ground, marking them in black as the borders of the graph. Labeling them Delta and Theta, he then drew a green line arcing along the graph, only for a pink line to curve backwards, be intercepted by a purple line that completed the circle, and then led into a gold line that looped on itself around the pink and purple lines before continuing on along a slightly different curve from the original green line...though the lines other than the graph were drawn thick as he drew them with his hoof, coloring them with magic.
"You see...what we have here is a closed corrected quantum loop," Sunburst explained.
Twilight's eyes went wide as she let out an understanding 'oh'. The others, however, just looked confused. "In Equish?" Rainbow asked bluntly.
"This green line is how time went normally," Sunburst explained. "The pink line is your first encounter here with Starlight in the original timeline...when she'd created a cult about eliminating Cutie Marks to create true Friendship." Noticing the disgusted looks, Sunburst nodded. "Yes, I know. You all arrived and soundly defeated her...but she escaped, now obsessed with taking revenge on all of you. Reworking one of Starswirl's time travel spells, she used it to usurp control of the Everywhen aspect of the doors in your castle, letting her travel through time at will, determined to prevent the six of you from becoming friends by stopping Rainbow Dash's first Sonic Rainboom."
"Wait...she reworked a time travel spell to control an artifact of that magnitude?" Twilight gasped in shock. "But the level of technical expertise it would take just to understand such an artifact, let alone take control with a spell to utilize it remotely..."
"Starlight's always been a prodigy," Sunburst explained proudly. "This purple line is your pursuit of her, eventually discovering her reason for behaving the way she did was because..." His voice trailed off. "Well, she grew up in an orphanage, and I was her only friend. But when I got my Cutie Mark in magic, I was sent off to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and...everything was so exciting and new..." He lowered his head, guilt pouring off every feature.
"You forgot her," Twilight concluded, "which is what led to her blaming Cutie Marks."
"According to you, that's what happened in the original timeline," Sunburst explained. "Apparently, your solution on seeing Starlight as a filly so heartbroken...was to adopt her as your own, use a spell to send your alicorn potential to your comtemporary self, and then raise her through history as a unicorn. You even enrolled her in Celestia's school once your own tutelage brought her to the point she found her Cutie Mark."
"But..." Twilight shook her head. "Setting aside the how of severing my alicorn nature to send to my younger self, doing so would drastically accelerate my aging process, especially with so many forms of time travel involved-"
"Which is what happened originally," Sunburst explained. "As you lay dying from age, Starlight and I...put together a way to fix it. We couldn't keep you alive...but we did figure out a way you could survive next time around. I've always been the book smart one of us, while Starlight's more intuitive...and has a great deal more power. I figured out which spells we'd need to modify, she figured out how to put them together..." He took a drink to clear his throat. "So we collected your essence on the moment of your death, and recreated the Cutie Mark Cult to lead you to here at the same time and place. That time, like this time, Starlight got emotional, leaving it to me to give you these two spells." Reaching under his robes, he handed Twilight to furled scrolls.
Unrolling them, Twilight examined them quickly. "This one uses the Mirror Pool to create a unicorn duplicate of myself to send back, keeping my relatavistic alicorn potential constant, and the copy would decay at the same rate as me severing my alicorn nature...and this spell creates a stable quantum loop allowing me to send myself back and then reabsorb my future/past self, as long as the reabsorption - with all the memories and shared emotional bonds - happens after sending my unicorn self back. These are incredible!"
"And we create them on our own each time, without input from you beyond telling us we got it right," Sunburst explained, "negating the bootstrap paradox."
"I...I can hardly wait to see her discover her talent," Twilight murmured excitedly. Turning, she dashed towards where they'd all arrived. "Spike! I need to go to the mirror pool!"
It didn't take long for Twilight to complete the Time Loop and then reabsorb the memories of her Future/Past self. This then led into a very emotional reunion between herself, Starlight and Sunburst, as well as excessive exuberance over little Sunstar. Starlight then promptly disbanded her 'cult', returned all the Cutie Marks, and told all the 'cultists' that the entire thing had been a huge farce deliberately designed to complete the Time Loop. Anger regarding this was immediately dispelled when Twilight offered to explain the technical details involved so they could all understand why such actions were necessary for temporal stability, as all listeners were more than happy to take her word for it instead.
Introducing the new extension to the family had gone over quite well. Ratchet had been surprised to be both a grandfather and great-grandfather, but had taken it in stride as "far from the strangest thing to happen in raising Twilight." The interactions quickly devolved into competition between Twilight, Ratchet, Clank, Sasha, Angela, Talwyn, and Vendra over who got to spoil little Sunstar first, while Qwark and Neftin literally butted heads over who got to be the one to "teach the tyke how to be a man".
Twilight's Equestrian family had dealt with it in their own way. Shining Armor had shaken his head, shrugged his shoulders, and decided to just watch and see who won the 'spoil Sunstar' fight. Cadence had cooed endlessly over Sunstar for a time before dragging Shining off to the room Twilight had given them to share during their stay in the 'Castle At The Edge of Reality', as they'd come to call it. Night Light had some trouble dealing with this latest revelation at first, but after slipping some herbs Zecora had given him before Twilight's return from 'The Town' in his pipe and lighting up, he was soon convinced that everything would be just fine and he could take it all in stride.
Twilight Velvet had been the only vocal one. "Great Grandmother!" she had screamed out in shock. "But how? It's too soon! I'm too young to be a great-grandmare!" She had then pointed at her Cutie Mark. "This is not the flank of a great-grandmare!"(1) Night Light had then given her a pull of his pipe, and she became much mellower.
The awkward part had been introducing Starlight to Nefarious...
"And this is Dr. Nefarious," Twilight said as she brought the little family to her robotic boyfriend. "Or 'Daddy' to you."
"So nice to finally meet you, Daddy!" Starlight proclaimed happily, lunging forward to hug Nefarious...who was currently in his equine configuration.
"So...if I understand your story correctly, you were actually a villain originally who was so talented at messing with the fabric of space-time that Twilight adopted you before you became a villain because she couldn't wait to see what you'd develop as if given access to everything she could teach you?" Nefarious clarified.
"Well...as we understand it," Sunburst allowed.
"Sweet!" Nefarious confirmed, hugging Starlight back exuberantly...only to pull back. "Okay, this just got awkward. You're my daughter apparently. Stop giving me an awkward boner before Twilight removes it!"
"Neffy..." Twilight growled dangerously.
"Oh, Mommy told me all about how she designed your male parts when she gave me the sex talk!" Starlight responded eagerly. "Can I get a closer look? I'm hoping to get some ideas for when I start experimenting with gene splicing magic to give Sunburst an upgrade in that department, cause despite being happily married and with a kid he has some serious confidence issues there-"
"Starlight!" Twilight gasped out, face flaming. "Not only is that a highly inappropriate thing to ask your Dad, but that's also incredibly dangerous magic to experiment with!"
"But Mom!" Starlight whined. "You promised you'd help me with that once we were reunited and we had access to off-world resources to contain the experiments!"
Twilight opened her mouth to object, only for memories to resurface. "By the Sleepless Gods I really said that, didn't I...?"
It was quite understandable that after all of this - and Celestia not even bothering to hide her amusement at Twilight's situation - that Twilight felt she needed a break from Equestria, making it an excellent time to visit Sunset in her world to check up on her progress. Supply requests had been almost entirely automated at this point, but personal messages had dwindled recently, and Twilight felt it was time to find out why.
Stepping through the portal, however, she found herself not in bright sunshine but in what looked like an underground bunker...one that looked more at home in Polaris than the world Twilight had seen last time she passed through the portal. The room she stepped out in was plainly a bedroom...and on the bed was a yellow skinned girl with far too much fluffy orange hair sitting on her hands and knees wearing a tight choker with a blue gem, a leash...and nothing else. She turned ruby eyes toward Twilight...and grinned with malicious amusement, but said nothing.
"Sunset, is that you?" a startlingly familiar voice called from outside the door. It slid open and Twilight got a brief view of what looked like giant color coordinated pony shaped mecha before a young purple skinned woman stepped through. She could have passed for Twilight's twin...except she kept her hair up in a bun, wore glasses, and was only wearing what Twilight recognized from Nefarious internet searches in this world as the 'Leia Slave outfit' (which she had in three colors for when she took human form for their fun). "I'm glad you're here, though," the stranger continued, not lifting her eyes from the dataslate she was carrying. "I think I may have finally figured out how to properly channel the magical energy to power-WUAGHH!" The scream was as she caught sight of Twilight. Dropping the slate from her hands, she desperately tried to cover herself with her arms. The slate halted itself in a purple aura before it could hit the ground.
Before the frozen tableau could become even more awkward, a telepad in the corner flared to life and a Sentai suited female stepped off. The suit was colored in orange and red, and wings of similarly colored flame were spreading from the figure's back. She pulled her helmet off as she walked, revealing Sunset...with pony ears. "Twilight, we really need to work on these wrist units," she began as she shook her hair out. "They're really useful for suiting up in a hurry, but the removal feature for my suit errors every time I pony up while wearing it ever since these came in-" The wings flapped. "And that's unfortunately every time now, because my true self seems to come out strongest in battle-YIPE!" Sunset leapt back as she caught sight of Twilight. "Twilight! I...I can explain!"
Twilight blinked at Sunset. "Did Celestia team up with you to pull the ultimate prank on me? Please say yes, I could use a good laugh right now..."
Sunset blinked for a time. "...you know, the last few months of my life would make a lot more sense if that were the case," she admitted hopefully.
Sighing, Twilight popped a squat on the bed, sending a glare at the fluffy haired young woman when she tried to cuddle up that sent her scurrying to the opposite side of the bed. "Alright...I'm listening. Explain."
Sunset sat down next to Twilight. "It's...a long story-" She suddenly winced. "One easier told without a massive wedgie. Let me just get out of this first?"
