For the 12th day in a row in the little house on Veldin, Clank was the only one to wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed. Ratchet was grumbling and rubbing his eyes, Qwark was engaged in an excess of uncomfortable stretching, and Twilight was sitting in the window, staring out at the ground and blinking her eyes. Clank had noticed that everyone had been having trouble sleeping ever since Qwark had moved in, but no one had said anything about it. Clank, however, decided it was time to address whatever the issue was before it festered into an argument. "So how did everyone sleep?" he asked solicitously.
"Not well," Ratchet yawned. "Qwark's snoring was like a foghorn...like every night..."
"My bed's too small," Qwark murmured as he stretched, pointing to the small cot he had been sleeping on. "Can't really get comfortable."
"Qwark's so big he blocks the breezeway," Twilight muttered. "I don't get any ventilation, and it's too hot..."
Clank blinked, surprised at how clear the problems were. "And...why didn't any of you say anything?"
"Didn't want Qwark or Twilight feeling guilty," Ratchet muttered as he chugged his coffee...which, because he wasn't fully awake when he made it, was actually boiled chili powder. He wound up spitting the fiery beverage against the wall...before taking another sip.
"Was too happy about finally having a family to want to complain about anything," Qwark muttered, a loud crack echoing as he finished his stretches. "...ow..."
"The dimensions of the house is such that no matter how our sleeping positions are rearranged, the new dimensions of sleeping figures will result in my bed getting an insufficient amount of ventilation for comfortable sleeping," Twilight indicated rapidly. "Since the problem couldn't be fixed, I saw no point in complaining."
Qwark blinked. "She gets...real technical when she's tired, doesn't she?"
"You have no idea," Ratchet muttered as he continued to drink. "Say, does the coffee have more kick this morning or something?"
"It's kinda cute," Qwark giggled, snapping his head back into proper alignment after the stretching with a loud snap.
"The coffee?"
"No, Twilight getting technical."
Clank scratched the back of his head. "Well, this house is a bit small for a family of four...perhaps we should renovate?"
Twilight let out a pleading whimper, turning towards the group with sorrowful eyes.
"I...don't think she likes that idea," Qwark pointed out.
"The whole place has sentimental value for both of us," Ratchet pointed out. "It...wouldn't feel right to redesign it."
"Then our only other option would be to find a new abode that can handle all four of us," Clank indicated.
"I do own a house in Metropolis," Qwark pointed out. "Got it back in my heroing days. It might be big enough for all four of us."
"Really?" Clank asked. "How big is it?"
"5 floors, 10,000 square feet total, 7 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, gym, pool, 5-star kitchen," Qwark listed off. "Nice little bachelor pad."
"...nice?" Clank asked, shocked beyond words at the understatement.
"Little?" Ratchet demanded, equally shocked.
"Why didn't you mention it?" Twilight demanded.
"You didn't ask," Qwark replied easily. "Besides, I...wanted to know what it was like to live in a family home..."
"Then we shall simply have to turn your 'bachelor pad' into a family home," Clank concluded. "It is certainly more attuned to our needs now than this place, and holds fewer sentimental attachments. It shouldn't be too difficult."
Ratchet, Qwark, and Twilight all smiled at the prospect.
A week after the Sparkle family(1) had finished moving in and renovating the 'house' Qwark had gifted to the family at large, an unexpected visitor stopped by.
"Sasha!" Twilight called out happily as the familiar Cazar came into their new home. She rushed forward and hugged her old friend, only to back up a bit with a giggle. "I mean, Galactic President Sasha Phyronix, how good to see you."
Sasha chuckled as she set down a large fruit basket she'd brought as a house warming gift. "Please, this isn't a formal visit. I'm just visiting some old friends." This statement was backed up by the fact that she was wearing black sweats rather than her usual uniform. "Just thought I'd come welcome you all to the neighborhood...or in Qwark's case, back to the neighborhood."
"Looking good, Sasha," Ratchet said happily. "Can you stay for dinner? Clank cooks a mean swordfish surprise."
"I still haven't figured out what the surprise is!" Qwark pouted. "But I won't give up!"
"Me neither, and I've run every scientific analysis I can think of!" Twilight complained.
Leaning in, Ratchet whispered in Sasha's ear, "There actually isn't a surprise, but calling it that lets those two have fun speculating, and makes it feel like a family event."
Sasha couldn't help but giggle. "Well, I'd be happy to stay," she replied gladly. "Maybe I can help you figure out what the surprise is."
"Nuh uh!" Qwark countered. "Whichever of us figures out the surprise first gets double dessert! I'm not losing on that!"
"Those cheesecake brownies are mine!" Twilight snapped back.
Sasha couldn't help but laugh as she took the offered seat at the table. Swordfish Surprise turned out to be rather heavenly seasoned swordfish steaks, fire roasted russet potato chunks with the skins on, mixed vegetables cooked to perfection, white grape juice for Twilight and Qwark, and white wine for Ratchet and Sasha. The cheesecake brownies served afterwards were just as delectable.
"I think I ate too much," Sasha moaned out as she finished. "My compliments to the chef, and how much do I have to pay to hire him out from under you for the Presidential Palace?"
"I'm afraid I don't have a price," Clank replied jovially, "but I thank you for the compliment."
"Say, Sasha," Twilight spoke up, "any luck getting a replacement for the head of the Planetary Defense Center? I heard the last one retired."
Sasha shrugged. "Not yet. The problem is that the position is being a glorified figure head. The job's basically looking good for the cameras, knowing how to fight just in case, and knowing how to convince people things aren't as bad as they seem. What warrior could I hire to be a glorified press secretary?"
Qwark blinked as three sets of eyes turned his way. "Why are you all looking at me?"
(1)When they had decided to make them being a family official, Ratchet and the others had to select a family name. However, Twilight and Qwark were the only ones who had multiple names, and Qwark categorically refused to let his name become the family name, since he was joining the family, not overtaking it. As such, they became Ratchet Sparkle, Clank Sparkle, Copernicus Leslie Qwark Sparkle, and Twilight Sparkle. Twilight had made a joke about Qwark collecting names...which had led to him trying to extend his name even further with additional names, or simply words. Thankfully, Ratchet kept all the legal stationary.
Nice chapter, and good job for Qwark to get. It's perfect for him and if he listens to Twilight, Ratchet, and Clank he'll go far! OH, just got that Twilight can brag her BBBFF is the Head of the Planetary Defense Center............ wait, is it a coincidence both her big brothers are in charge of important military facilities????? Shining has Canterlot and the Crystal Empire and Qwark has the PDC.... did you plan for both of them to be in similar positions Tats???????
looks like Shinning Armor is going to have some competition when the ponies finally find her and try to bring her back.
You know what comes next!!!
QWAAAAARK!
So Sasha, when are you going to become Mrs. Sparkle?
That's what made this chapter for me
So, do we follow the hyphen rule for Qwark? I'm still reeling over the fact that Qwark's middle name is Leslie.
Don't make me drool, Tatsu...
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
6485929
Funny thing...
The only reason I wrote that line is because - right as I reached that part of the story - I heard Mom talking about cheesecake brownies in the background (she was reading a cooking magazine, I believe).
Really? I think Twilight is best, she could very well convince everyone that there is no problem, she can fight, she know how to be a good secretary and she look good in camera.
6485948 I... Never heard of cheesecake brownies before. It sounds ludicrous to me when you try to bake it though... Thank your mom for lovely coincidences and slapstick, the both of you make a great team on and off and stand just as well individually.
6485948 Interesting fun fact.
6485948 Mmmm, broowniieeeesss..... °¬°
Stupid diet...
This is where Tangent comes and makes an addition. Keep it up, the both of you!
6485590 Are you looking forward to the PWNY story as much as I? I'm currently wondering how Ratchet would interact with Kratos.
Maybe a friendly duel?
6485948
Ok, seriously, Cheesecake brownies...this I now NEED!!! Also, LOVING these last few chapters!! I cannot, for the life of me, gush ENOUGH about this story!! My god, when I can get at some Ratchet and Clank games for PS4, gunna marathon them, but it won't be the same without Twilight...damn it!! NOW I"M CRYING!!! GGGGGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
That said, excellent work, and looking forward to more heartwarming and adventurous bits of the Sparkle Family.
6486294
I am looking forward to Batman and Tony interactions. Either way I feel sorry for anyone caught in this groups cross hairs!
6486294 Oh yes I am, it is going to be AWESOME!!!!!! I'm more interested in how Bruce Wayne reacts to all the fictional (to him) characters and what kind of strategies he comes up with to take them out just in case. Plus, get Engineer, Dr. Wily, Bruce, Ratchet, and Tony Stark in one room with their technology inclined daughters and any other scientists dads besides Wily that we don't know of yet and imagine the stuff they can make!!!!!!!!!
6486357 2016, they are redoing the Ratchet and Clank series, along with a full-length movie with new voice actors for pretty much all but Ratchet, Clank, and Quark (Paul Giamatti as Chairman Drek, so freaking awesome!).
6486702 New voice actors... I think i just heard the sound of my childhood ROLLING IN ITS GRAVE!
6486518 well, look at what each one of them has accomplished alone... and then COMBINE them...
imagine this; Wily-made robot masters equipped with Bruce's gadgets, Stark's Iron Man tech and then equip them with Twilight and Engie grade munitions...
6486808 I'm thinking something more, "Hey, what if we made a ________________________" and it just grows bigger and bigger as they keep adding features and gadgets until they get told to stop since they've managed to build something the size of a skyscraper to do a simple task.
6486832 so Gamma then?
6486847 More like Gamma with a Death Star laser, transformation capability, flight, etc.
Huh. So, when is the wedding? Because we can all see it coming. Seriously, Tatsurou, it is blatantly obvious it is going to happen.
Tats, you might wanna change the 'Planned' next to Size Matters in the description to 'Done'.
NO, THEY'RE MINE!
6487361 no threre mine * steals brownies
6487415
You can have them. Cheesecake brownies sound disgusting. Like deep-fried butter, blegh!
Loved the bit with the job tailor-made for Qwark. Also, hooray for the Sparkle Family!
6486518 Maybe sonic upgrades for Ratchet's Omniwrench?
I'm mainly thinking about Kratos and Ratchet because of the HUGE difference in their Iconic weaponry.
Blades of Chaos. Great for slicing, dicing, and cubing mythological beasts. Also helps with platforming.
Omniwrench. Smacking aliens and robots silly since 2004. I've even heard people calling it an axe. Kinda fits though, you don't want to be on the receiving end of a hyper strike. OUCH.
6487445 i just relized the swordfish supprise is from fortrasshy
6487415 No! Artie must steals the brownies back from the hobbitzis!
6488221 noooo there mine runs away (nice golum impersonathion)
6488237 thank you, thank you. *bows* now GIVES THEM BACK!
6488413
Skipping it.
The games I'm covering are listed in the story description, if you click "Read More".
When/if Twilight returns to equestria, if it is before tirek attacks, he will get to ponyville... And promptly be disintegrated on a subatomic level.
Just keep medic away from Twilight
Wait, wasn't Quark Sasha's VP? Did I miss something?
6490294
He can do more than one job.
6492319
No clue.
Any ideas yet for the other characters like Zecora, Derpy, or maybe even the newly canoned fan character Button Mash? Just out of raw curiosity.
6494751
Ask on my profile, not on the stories.
6476658 .....
31.media.tumblr.com/4f2b7b18707f008a381aabc0e727b830/tumblr_ncrb04YVOB1qmrjfso1_400.gif
6488369 noooooooooo hides with brownies
Is there a story about a pony being raised as Po's (Kung Fu Panda) brother or sister?
6547410
I don't think so; not yet anyway. Besides, a talking pony that may or may not be able to do magic wouldn't stand out in that universe, so it would be a hard sell.
And I'm not sure I'd like it all that much. Granted, there is a great deal more heart in both the movies and the CGI cartoon, but a certain part annoys me.
Maybe it's the voice of Po; then again, that's no surprise, as I really don't care all that much for Jack Black.
Dude those brownies sound awesome.
6993813 Same here!
...hold on. I'm starting to think of Clank as Anti Bender. The fact he's a small, nice robot that can cook reflects Bender's twisted personality, average size, and ability to kill chefs.