Arsenal: Phoenix, the Plan
As the trio returned to the Phoenix, they were guided to the bridge, where Captain Qwark paced back and forth before his assembled crew. As Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight entered the bridge, he turned towards them. "You're late," he pointed out jokingly.
Ratchet rolled his eyes. "We had to stop so Twilight and Clank could sign autographs," he joked.
"You shouldn't be taking time away from saving the galaxy to do that," Qwark scolded. "Do you want to end up like I was?"
Ratchet's jaw opened and closed like a landed fish. He did not know how to handle self-aware and self-critical Qwark. Though Twilight's giggle was worth the embarrassment.
"Fall in, troops," Qwark ordered. Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight took their place in the lineup between Sasha and the monkey. Qwark then turned to the assembled group. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" he began. "Oh, and Helga," he added when he noticed her glare. "Welcome...to the Q Force."
While Ratchet was unsurprised that Qwark had named the team after himself, he was rather surprised at the total lack of aplomb and self-aggrandizement he said it with. It was almost as if Qwark was taking the matter seriously.
"You have been assembled here because each of you is an expert in your particular fields," Qwark explained. "From Al's mastery of Electronics, to Skid's nerves of steel, to Helga's sensual powers of seduction!" He added a little playful growl at that.
Twilight glanced over, surprised to see so many familiar faces gathered.
"And we can't forget Ratchet's own prior heroic experience in two galaxies," Qwark continued. "And then there's Clank's own unique technical advantages...and my vocabulary isn't big enough to do Twilight's talents justice."
Twilight blushed and hid behind Ratchet as everyone turned to look at her with a smile.
"Each of you has shown that you are worthy - or more than worthy - to wear the Q!" he proclaimed. "Years ago, I did battle against Dr. Nefarious and emerged victorious. But like a rash on the galaxy's back side, he has flared up again."
"I wish he wouldn't use such colorful metaphors in front of Twilight," Ratchet whispered to Clank.
"There are far worse ones he could have used," Clank whispered back as Twilight blushed.
"Our first mission," Qwark continued, choosing to ignore the commentary, "will be to infiltrate the Doctor's top secret base on Planet Aquatos!" Qwark paused. "You have a question, Twilight?"
Twilight lowered her raised hoof. "If it's top secret, how do we know it's there?"
"I follow Nefarious' Hexafeed," Qwark replied. "It's an excellent way to keep track of his activities."
"Hexafeed?" Twilight asked.
"It's like Twitter, but specifically for robots," Clank replied. "But how were you able to become a member, Captain?"
"I am very good at pretending to be a sub-optimal imitation of life," Qwark replied. "At least online. I get treated as obsolete, but I get a few tidbits of useful information on occassion."
"Impressive," Clank replied.
Ratchet had to admit - privately, anyway - that Qwark appeared to have more skill than he'd previously given him credit for. He now found himself actively curious as to what Qwark's assault plan on Aquatos was.
Or he had been, until he saw Qwark haul out the poorly sketched crayon drawings.
"Here is the assault plan," he explained. "First, Ratchet and Clank will descend to the sea floor and wade through a series of tunnels flooded with waist high raw sewage."
"What?" Ratchet demanded in shock.
"Please hold questions until the end of the presentation," Qwark insisted. "After infiltrating the base, our agents will split up. Clank will enter the ventilation system, where he will rendezvous with Twilight Sparkle. Given that she has not yet learned to swim and doesn't do well with water environments, it will be up to agent Skid to make a separate entrance to deliver the pressurized capsule that will deliver her safely to the sea without entering the water. Meanwhile, Ratchet will use the Tyhrra-Guise to infiltrate the base and make his way to Nefarious office. Should he prove successful in making it that far, Skid will meet him on the way to provide him with the Hacker. Should Ratchet meet with any other sort of difficulties, Skid will render whatever aid possible before withdrawing."
"Clank and Twilight will meet him there, having acquired whatever data they can retrieve discreetly from Nefarious computer systems. Ratchet will see to it that Clank and Twilight can exfiltrate the base completely undetected!"
Qwark smiled as the presentation ended. "Any questions?" he asked magnanimously.
"How come you aren't doing anything in this plan?" Ratchet demanded.
"Because Nefarious has a personal grudge against me," Qwark replied. "As long as Nefarious doesn't get word that I'm involved, he'll continue to take his time with his plans, as he is very methodical most of the time. However, once he learns I am involved, he will begin a full scale assault in an attempt to settle his score with me. The longer we can delay that, the more time we have to prepare for the battle against him, and the more information we can gather to prepare." He smiled. "That's why I've asked President Phyronix to let no one outside the Phoenix even know I'm involved in the anti-Nefarious efforts, or that I am even in this galaxy."
"That is a valid point," Clank agreed. Twilight nodded as well, smiling. Nearly everyone else was slackjawed.
Qwark grinned widely. "Very well. If there are no more questions, we shall begin!"
"But...but this plan is crazy!" Ratchet finally blurted.
"But it just might work," Qwark countered. "We're counting on you, Ratchet. I know you won't let us down."
Ratchet sighed. What could he say to that?
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Quark actually has a well thought out plan this time. I wonder how you'll do Ratchet Deadlocked.
I don't know how to deal with a competent Qwark. It's... strange. Enjoyable, but... strange.
it actually surprises me how well thought out this plan is for Quark, and i'm pretty sure you don't get told why Quark doesn't do much in the beginning...
he's still a massive douche-bag though
and THAT is why I love him 
it's true meny jokes on the internet is that the evil person put ther entire plan on the internet...or TV....
Woo Quarks plan in this is better then it was in the game
Quark's Stats: Brain + 1
New Total, + 1
Seriously, wow, you managed to put a good spin on QUARK! I seriously wonder how you are going to portray his personality in the future, especially when he became... uh, obsessed with the idea of parents during size matters.
The fact of the matter is Quark is highly inconsistent. On one hand, he did beat Nefarious multiple times on his own...and then again that was mostly by accident...I think he just does "dumb enough to work" dumb enough.
And he is (at least of screen) a very charismatic person. This allows him to become the president of the Polaris Galaxy despite several screw ups there as well.
A lot of things.
Including sniper guns.
And bombing the whole planet out.
Among others.
5963248 I like the way you think Physics
I approve this message ;)
Where have I heard this before?
(4:10)
I'm beginning to question of they found the right Quark on Florana.
I'm hoping they meet the rest of Twilight's race.
Other then that I love where this is going!
5963320 Seriously. Everybody(pony) knows that he's the bad guy. I highly doubt anyone at that present moment of time will complain. You might get the people who'll martyr him, but seriously? At this moment of time, way simpler solutions.
Hmmm, I like how this is going. Good stuff.
5963527
Ermagherd Fidget!
Quark: "Now, despite the fact that we are currently trying to keep news of my return to the Solana Galaxy from Dr. Nefarious, I am fully aware that I will eventually have to start participating in these missions as well. This means that there are some issues that I, as the designated leader of our unit, feel need to be addressed to ensure that things progress smoothly:"
Quark squared his shoulders, looked at each of the people gathered under him, and then sighed.
Quark: "The first one being that despite what I'm told is rather remarkable progress in recovering my memories of more recent events, unfortunately my recollections of how I've defeated Dr. Nefarious our during previous encounters remain unclear. What I do know is that they were largely solo engagements, which means despite the honorific of Captain I had been awarded with for my deeds, I do not actually have either the experience, nor the training, for a leadership position. To correct this issue, I have signed up for a course that I will be taking aboard the Phoenix. I hope that I have to have your support on this matter, and I would be glad to listen to any advice any of you may have."
Ratchet: "Sounds like you're off to a good start right there, Captain."
Clank: "Indeed. Being able to recognize one's current short comings and then taking action to correct them is an excellent quality for a potential leader to have."
Quark: "Thank you, Ratchet, Clank. The next point I want to address is that I do want to be ready for my eventual participation on these missions. Now, while I doubt I will have the luxury of being able to undergo the full commando training course that Ratchet had received to prepare for his tour of duty under Megacorp in the Bogon Galaxy, I would like to ask at this time if he would help me train in the skills he learned during his down time between missions."
Ratchet: "I would be glad to, Big Guy."
Twilight: "I can help too! I went through the same training Daddy did during the trip!"
Helga: "Good! I vill help vhip you back into shape as vell. You vonce set all ze records for your own course, Kaptain - you vill be able to do so again! Ve vill see to it!"
Al: "While I can't do much to help your physical training directly, I suppose I can design some bots to serve as sparing partners. Also... I hesitate to bring this up, but... Would you be willing to let me teach you some technical drawing? The crayons are... well..."
Skids: "They're a bit whack, Dude. If Al here is willing to help you clean that up a bit, I suppose I can help you add some presentation and flair. Make it something that we can all look back on when this is all over and done and say: 'You see those plans? That was us, man! We did that!'"
Quark: "I... Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate this!"
5963771 Aye, ya can never have enough Fidget.
5963048
WAIT!!!! The reason they didin't grap Qwark because he was not a good hero, but now if this goes where i think its going Qwark might get Qwarknap!!!
5963823
That alt script is wonderful.
Me thinks quark might have a bit of a grudge left with ratchet.
5963120 The kicker is that the overall plan itself is NOT different from the one in the game. I should know I just finished playing that very spot in that very game. Baring the inclusion of Twilight, rather than Skid the Monkey, as well as Quark actually explaining shit, that is the very same plan he gives in the game.
Jesus. Quark being Self Concious and Self Critical?
Never thought I'd see the day where Quark puts himself down for taking time out to be famous
5963823
Awesome, way more in character than my omakes.
Twilight never met Slim Cognito, so I am a bit curious about how that'll go.
I wouldn't be surprised if Skidd, when he panics, grabs her and hugs her as he runs away.
5964365
Slim Cognito only shows up to sell you Commando weapons. Ratchet brought his back with him, and Twilight's currently equipped with them.
Ergo, Slim Cognito has no real role in this arc.
5964371 I don't see why you can't just have the explanation of why he's hiding there. Furthermore, I imagine Twilight would be very interested in someone who was able to modify Megacorp weapons, regardless of legality.
5964427
Hmm...I suppose I could.
And I could have him sell mods for bolts instead of the collectibles.
5964470 I was thinking more along the lines of mod schematics.
I love this line, it shows Qwark is aware of his mistakes and trying to keep Twilight from repeating them. I like the plan... though there are so many ways it can go wrong. But if Twilight gets into the base I can totally see her causing Home Alone worthy chaos for the bad guys.
5963823 This must happen!
Wow quark has really changed, great chapter by the way!
5963438 here here
The Doctor has a secret base on Aquatos?
Qwark is…competent? I…I can't compute!
5963090
you should see Supervillian Weekly in the actual game
5971302 ...uhhhhh if.......you want to know
ive completed that game 5 times a row.....
and the second game,....litterally all the Ps2 games.....except for the 1st one....WHY IS DREK SO HARD TO KILL
5972008
well sorry
ive completed those games multiple times to, more than I can count
except the first one, drek is practicaly impossible without the ryno
5972008 killing drek is about learning to avoid attacks, and having enough bolts to buy enough ammo from the pda. Or just having the ryno.
5972053
In what universe? Sure, the attacks are brutal, more so because of the small amount of nanotech, but you can dodge. It's more about using the PDA to make certain your ammo doesn't run out, and strategic use of rocket-based weapons. Seriously, I've had more trouble from the yeti bastards on the snow planet in the second game than Drek from game one.
5972053
I actually found a very easy way to defeat Drek...rather quickly at that.
Use heavy hitting, auto lock weapons up until you get to the final arena, where the laser is.
On that arena is a grind rail around nearly the whole thing, with a break at each quarter. Lock on and grind. None of his attacks fire on an intercept course, and the central arena is small enough that - except from being on the exact opposite side - he'll always be in range of all weapons except the Pyrociter.
So Ratchet still gets the dirty work and Qwark ducks out of the action...
5972053 Nope, grab as many of the gold weapons as possible on the gemlik orbiting station and you can wreck him no problem.
6463396
You don't need the gold weapons. I admit, they do help since they have a power upgrade. However, the
bitsbolts you have to spend for each one is a far better investment for buying ammo using the PDA during the fight.Then again, you really only need around twenty thousand bolts or so, since using that gadget has a mark-up for ammo. Overall, you'll spend a far larger time grinding for bolts for the golden weapons than you will for the R.Y.N.O. Economically speaking, it's far better to either get the R.Y.N.O, or use the PDA.
If you're good with dodging, you don't even need that; all you really need are things like the Agents of Doom and the Bomb Glove to deal with spawns, saving Devastator rockets for Drek.
The sheer number of explosive weaponry makes that fight have several different strategies; what makes it so damn hard is that there's no Nanotech, and you're limited to only a few hits. Personally, I find the R.Y.N.O cheapens the fight; honestly, all of the versions of that gun save the final upgrade are severely over-powered. I get that that is the point, but the sheer number of bolts needed shows that you really only need it for subsequent play-throughs.
Qwark is the man with the plan! Self aware stupid hero Qwark is best Qwark so far. I like him.
6824933 The Suck Cannon is actually really useful for saving on ammo, seeing as the mines are considered a viable ammo. They also deal a decent chunk of damage. The only problem is that you need to be quick with the manual aim, what with all the other mines surrounding you. Well, that and the fact that it can only hold 5 before you buy the gold version.
7337810 I personally used the suck cannon quite a bit
you have redeemed Quark in my eyes
7337810 Because the first game had no upgrade system, I ONLY used the Suck Cannon out of all the weapons, excluding the odd rocket on Veldin and anything specifically needing a different one... otherwise the Omniwrench covered all my needs.
This is despite going out of my way to buy all the weapons for 100%.
That attitude didn't last long in future installments though, since grinding to max level was now a thing AND the enemies were no longer easy to kill with melee.
8197819
did you deal with all the fighter jets in the first game? I mean it takes 3 devastator rockets or 1 visobomb glove rocket to kill one of those things!
Question, how the f
8828801
If I remember correctly, THAT'S why "the odd rocket" was necessary to begin with... though there's a guy by the name of Gamechamp3000 who used nothing BUT the wrench on all three...
And I just thought of what Qwark's user name is. "QWERTY"