- Member Since 24th Oct, 2012
- offline last seen Monday
The Grimm Reaper
The Grimm Reaper is the writer of the 'Darkness Duology', 'Immortal', 'They Come at Night... Mostly!' and 'Only Bone Deep'. Among others.
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OMFG!!!!
This.
EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!
Words.
There are none.
the pic looks like a humanized soundwave
Wow. I haven't read a lot of your stories recently I almost forgot you don't necessarily like Shining Armor.
This Zero kinda reminds me of Zer0 from borderlands 2, except with the different talking.
Alright, good start. I like the concept the story is based on, as well as the friendship that Twilight seems to have with Zero (her calling him her best friend was heartwarming). I hope you expand on this relationship between the two character and why it exists with some back story between the two (possibly through a flashback chapter).
If there is one concern I have about the story, it is that the concept of "Humanity. To Equestria, they're the lowest of the low. Lower than Changelings, lower than the dirt they crawl upon." is not really touched upon in the story so far. We have already meet four of the mane six, Spike, Applebloom, possibly the rest of the apple family and the wonderbolts and none of them have showed any blatant hostility, hatred, prejudice, distrust or even fear towards the human character Zero (who is suppost to be intimadating and "dangerous"). I hope that this is expanded upon in future chapters. One idea is that Celestia did not want Twilight to have Zero as a body guard due to her predudice (she makes the laws that makes them second class slaves), and Twilight disobeyed/stood up to Celestia and bought Zero anyway because he is her friend.
4947720 Check the cover on the book he's reading. That's not half wrong.
Dude, I already freaking LOVE Zero! Excellent work!
Just sayin' ...
So.. every single one of them? They all have arms.
I know its terrible. I'll show myself out.
And:
Rich or Right? Because i'd expect a noble/Blueblood to say the former, Twi the later.
thats soundwave
Well at least Rarity's more entertaining than Applejack...
i.imgur.com/hJDbC6o.jpg?3
Does that make Twilight Megatron and Spike Starscream?
4948375 I agree with you on all parts, but this is still just the first chapter so I think it would be obvious a lot wouldn't be clear or touched upon.\
And just like you I am happily waiting for when he fleshes everything out.
4947631 What he said.
4948375 Problem with that is that Celestia had him trained as one of the best. I doubt she'd give him such training if she hated them.
I like Zero, using others voices really adds to his character.
Remember stay classy
This is a new concept; I haven't seen this kind of story before. I look forward to seeing where it goes.
I'm very dark so I already see a possible ending were Zero gives his life to protect his mistress. I can totally see it.
I really need to lighten up.
4949430 No tragedy tag so if that happens then it's wrongly tagged
4949483 Huh, I failed to notice that.
4949516 :P
I get the oddest feeling his weaponry is similar to Zero's weaponry from Mega Man Zero
4949139 True enough. Though the scenario I was thinking of is a bit different. Because there is no laws protecting the humans in this world, that would mean that the leader (Celestia) was ether ignoring the problem or contributing to it (the latter is more interesting in my opinion). Because of this, Zero's training in the military would be akin to training an attack dog in Celestia's eyes. In this kind of mind set, I could see Celestia being difficult about her student befriending what society deems as a trained animal. After all being a trained attack dog and being a friend are two different things and Celestia might not be happy with the latter happening.
4949534
4949606 Fair enough, I see your point with that. I think that since its somewhat based off of Chains, its more likely that Celestia has no hatred for humanity, but I admit I'd also be interested in your scenario as well._
I got a very, "Master" feel, you know from the original Fallout? How his voice sometimes changes to that of a females, becomes angry at one time, etc etc?
Edit: More explanation on the above subject. Copy/pasted directly from the Fallout Wiki.
". . . a rather strange monster who speaks in multiple voices. Apart from his appearance, one of his most notable features was his unique way of speaking. His voice was computer-generated and sentences are composed, apparently in real-time, from samples of several people's speech. "
Edit 2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaJ9RI1xDDU
a video of the master and his ending VIA speech.
4948657 thanks for that. fucking iphone spellcheck.
...So he sounds like a ghoul that gargled a few liters of psycho?...Or something equally metal?
4950017
4950109 I do believe that falls under 'Something equally metal'
i'm wondering. is that a humanized Soundwave in the cover art?
Interesting OC human character, i shall follow this fic!
This seems interesting.
So he is Corvo Attano with a mask making him talk like SoundWave/BumbleBee...
I'll see what happens
4950128
Yes.
Interesting. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
i like it so far keep it up
What interests me is that Zero wanted to get away from Rarity only after she started to talk about his clothing, and im thinking of two reasons why he might've done so, cause he was embarrassed about her talking about his atire or he was angry because the color scheme matches Twilights, personally I want it to be out of embarrassment because it would add a little more character to him, from my point of veiw.
Otherwise this story is extremely interesting for me, especially because of the way Zero talks and the lines and video scenes appear on his mask cause it reminds me of Zer0 from Borderlands 2
Was expecting a new version of Your Human and You, but got something wholeheartedly original & intriguing
Hope to see more soon!
Stories like these always make it hard for me to get into the setting. A bunch of ponies enslaving humanity? That is like deer hunting lions. Whether the Humans were always inhabiting the same world as Ponies, or came here somehow. I don't see how they could have got into that position to begin with. Even if you threw a bunch of unarmed humans into Equestria, what exactly makes you think they would be obedient?
And this racial hatred seems to stem from nowhere in most of these fics. It never goes deeper than "Oh ponies hate Humans, why? Because, shut up." It is a giant gaping chasm of a leap in logic for a species to instantly hate another species and assume they are animals/inferior creatures with absolutely no evidence to support the claim. Oh they can speak, reason, complete complex problems, and do everything we can do? Must just be another dumb animal, let's enslave and hate them. Despite not doing that to any other animals or species on this planet of various other intelligent life, and supposed peace and harmony.
If Humans are hated for coming to Equestria and causing war, then there would be no Equestria. The place would be a wasteland and there would be no native survivor, or they would be the slaves. If that isn't the case, than Ponykind has little to no reason to carry those feelings. You are basically writing with the assumption that Ponies are absolutely retarded, don't use any form of logic, and that the canon warps around the one exception that is the one plot point your story revolves around.
My 2 cents.
give him a raven
4948375 I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and guess that such opinions are the norm in places like Canterlot, where humans are looked down upon by their pony overlords, and thus considered popular opinion.
Fucking nobles...
In more rural, tight-knit communities like Ponyville humans are probably viewed less harshly, though they may still be treated as second-class citizens in accordance with the law.
Reminds me a bit of the differences between the Northern States and the Southern States in the events prior to slavery being abolished in the US, albeit somewhat reversed.
4950109 I picture more a Zer0 from Borderlands as his appearance.
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/275/1/f/_borderlands_2__zer0__wallpaper__by_drmodnar-d5fy9xl.png
More of this please.
I'm going to assume that something happened between Twilight & Shining Armour that isn't canon, probably something involving Zero if what you mentioned about him being injured during 'training' means what I think it does.
Still, while I can see Shining not liking a human so close to his baby sister, I can't see him turning traitor.
4951248 Humans are probably viewed in the same way as cattle.
It's apparent from the show that Cows are intelligent and can speak, yet it's also apparent that they're kept as 'farm animals', along with pigs goats and chickens, who to date haven't shown any inclination to speak.
So while humans & cattle may rank above the likes of 'common livestock', their situation is only moderately better, as they can still be 'owned'.
So far the story's got my attention. I shall follow it and see where it goes.
i dont know why but i love this and want to see much more of it
took a moment after lookin at title pic long enough but thats soundwave and lazer beak. awesome
Great start and I want to see more of it, but that feels like a really awkward/random place to end the chapter. Not even really like an actual cliffhanger, as I'm sure most can guess how Fluttershy will likely respond. Any particular reason for this? Or will it be made clear in the next chapter? In any case, I'll be waiting for chapter two.
4951827 Well you gotta wonder, will she act the same way she did when she first met Princess Luna, or will she squee with delight like she did with Spike?
4947720 That's because it is.