This story is just completely dedicated to the murdering of terrible original characters, in some very very weird ways. All of those stories with ponies that just made your mind melt, all those paragraphs with the worst things in them (yes those things are the things i'm talking about. No, not those things, those things. Theeeere you go.), those stories that you want to kill, all are going to die. Horribly.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Put this in somewhere and modify a bit and you have another seperate story entirely. The idea just bounce around in my head. Luna to the rescue?
No, I'm not interested in your character. He sounds cliched and boring. By the way, you're supposed to have names with capital first letters.
Never talk to your audience. Show don't tell. Give me details not banter if we're supposed to be interested in your character.
Sorry, but we've heard of this kind of stuff before and the whole "yada yada yada" bullshit needs to stop right there. This kind of shit is annoying and makes things even more painful to read, but you probably need those extra words because this character doesn't seem able to reach the thousand word minimum.
You're still talking to us and I find myself uncaring that your character may as well be dead on his thirteenth birthday. Oh and alicorns aren't supposed to be so easy to find or make for that matter. So... What the fuck is with that anyway?
No, but I'm sure you'll find an edgy way to tell me.
Who gives a shit about his alicorn self? Oh, and stop talking to us. It's distracting.
Gosh, I hope he get's found so that some other character can be the main character. Also, they have fucking grenades? If this ends up anywhere near Ponyville, it'd be graveyard of the past, right? Cause no grenades existed in the time of Ponyville and stuff.
WHAT THE FUCK?! How did he end up there of all places?! Goddamn these self inserts to hell! Anyway, fuck this chapter. Every single piece of this is just wish fulfillment. I wish all the new authors would take their precious time to do some research before taking a shit like this on site! Ugh. Still a second chapter to go... Goddamn.
OH GOSH! OH GOSH! SO MUCH HAPPINESS! KINDNESS EVERYWHERE! GEE WILLICKERS! But seriously, fuck all of this. Go back and die, Blade. This place isn't for you, it's a mirage and you're in a desert. Also, please update the grammar. Or do research. Anything please.
Well, there she is. Poor Pinkie... We didn't mean to put you here. Or make you suffer.
Talking really fucking fast? Check.
Character is confused and hopes not to meet anypony else for the sake of originality? Check I guess...
No, he wouldn't just trust everyone immediately or reveal himself right? I thought he was a master assassin.
No way, get away from the library. Nobody needs you any stronger than you already apparently are.
They have robots now? Huh... I thought he wasn't good at spell casting, thus needing the library. But whatever. That's something.
I'm sure she would have questioned the voice. Come on...
She's not even going to question it for a second? Fucking bullshit. But continue, I've made it this far.
All in days a work because plot convenience!
Hopefully they won't ask and thank you for leaving Blade.
I hope that's not Spike, It best not be Spike. And that's it. Thanks for all the memories.
I just want authors to do a month of research before they write crap. That's all they gotta do. But none of them will. It's sad.
4804486 Sorry about that.
4804475
This! Fucking this! Even when I'd joined the site I'd been writing for years, and I still took the effort to research my audience and material extensively. I didn't make a single keystroke into chapter 1 of my first story for the first six months I was here.
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Your comments on the excerpts of this story are far more entertaining than the story itself. It's comments like these (and the mountain of downvotes) that make me glad I didn't read the story in question. Bravo.
11/10 Flutter-yays
What secret? Didn't Twilight figure out he was an alicorn already?
4805254
That's just semantics.
onions. because they're so unionteresting
i look at all these negative comments and... they just make me wanna cut
4806690
If you're joking, don't. That's not something to kid about.
If you're serious, then you really need to shut the computer off and find a professional counselor to talk to. If a few negative comments about a fan fiction on a site about My Little Pony really brings you that down, then it's an unhealthy situation and you really need to get some help.
sorry if i did confuse you but it was a joke that only works in to parts. If it looks like this:
All these comments make me wanna cut...
onions. because they're so unioninteresting
then thats the right way to go but if its like this
all these comments make me wanna cut... oinions because they're so unioninteresting
it doesn't work as well
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It might have worked better
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had you actually posted the comments
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in the proper order.
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Makes trying to understand
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them easier.
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Burma Shave.
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It felt appropriate.
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My day
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It has been made
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Thanks to the wonder
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Of Burma Shave.
4804438 Cinema Sins, anyone?
4804351 Hold up, man. This is the guys first story. Give him a chance. It's not like he is not trying to at least entertain us. Stop being so hard on him.
4810186 I love that show, did you see the Expendables 2 video today?!
4816806 No, this is something that every new writer needs to hear! Don't make a bad oc, make a good character that isn't some op alicorn so you can steadily climb up the latter of Fimfiction. Cause if he did this and continued, he'd get worse flack from someone else.
4816905 I haven't yet! I must go watch!
4816988 DO IT!
Hi everybody! I am going to be taking over this story from here so i hope you all like what i do with it!
4903332 I see somebody enjoyed this chapter
4903378 As much as i know some people would enjoy that, i actually do not consider blade a bad oc. this story was actually written by my friend (who wants to slaughter me after he stops laughing from this chapter) and has indeed improved from what he originally was. An actual fat pony who played video games all day and was a vampire to the sun. He has indeed (in my opinion) improved from that first fanfic my friend wrote, so really you guys just got a sort of teenage version i guess to say, if he were to further improve him. He actually did write half of the next chapter taking some suggestions in mind. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i'm just gonna write the next chapter with that in mind >:)
any ideas for the next chapter?
4903455 Its always nice to hear positive feedback no matter what your doing, even if that means ruining your friends one and only story he actually cared about
4804471 What is Plan 9 v.2? Where can I find it?
More, soon, right???
4915855 Next chapter should be tomorrow as long as i don't get caught up in my music class
Just made a bonus chapter i guess. i was reading through some of the bad oc stories i was planning to incorporate into this. and i had a though before half of my brain melted that i should probably get the least memorable out before i can't remember my name. In some unrelated news, can somebody tell me my name?
So i am terribly sad to say that the next chapter may not be out until next week because i am litterally running out of material after i realized that some people might have not read the same stories i got some oc's from so until i can find something to slaughter that everyone knows, i'm gonna take a rest and get some braincells back.
4935753
I have no words for what you have done to my story but one.
Continue
Skyler from rainbow dash and the gate keeper should go next.