Chapter 1
Canterlot High.
How long had it been since he had stood in this courtyard? How long had it been since he’d sat on the grass, strumming his guitar and looking cool? Nearly three years, and the only thing that felt the same was that statue. The place he lost her.
Flash Sentry looked up at the imposing statue of the horse. He wondered for a moment why the magical mirror was directly below the horse’s ass.
He also wondered if he was supposed to feel something for that ass, given what he was about to do.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sunset Shimmer asked.
“I have to, Sun.” Flash Sentry balled his fists. “I have to see her again.”
Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes, ignoring the teenage angst. We both graduated over two and a half years ago, surely he should have put such drama behind him.
“For love!” Flash Sentry shouted.
Evidently not.
Sunset Shimmer slapped her palm to her forehead; it was so much safer with soft skin than a keratin hoof. It produced a far more satisfying slap sound with less than a percent of a chance of concussion.
“Well, go on then, loverboy!” Sunset slapped Flash on the ass. “Go find the mare of your dreams.”
Flash Sentry shuffled towards the mirror, then cautiously stepped through.
Ж
“Flash Sentry?” a very confused horse asked.
“Uhh, yes ma’am,” Flash responded. “Y-you know who I am?”
The horse frowned.
“I may be a Princess, but I do take the time to learn the names of my guards,” the Princess horse replied. “Especially ones who are dating my sister-in-law.
“But what are you doing here? I thought I gave you this week off, so that the two of you could… well, you know…” The horse princess waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “You should know it’s not wise to make a princess wait!”
“N-no ma’am—Your Majesty,” Flash replied.
“Well, you better get going! I’ll have the Crystal Express take you to Ponyville straight away.”
Ж
After many high-fives (or ones, or hooves, or something horse related) by the other guards (most of whom were made of crystal), and a ride on a train (made of actual crystal); Flash Sentry found himself in Ponyville. It was a quaint little village, and Flash Sentry was worried he might not be able to find his princess…
…for all of one second.
In the center of Ponyville stood a gargantuan crystal… palace… tree.
“Quite the sight to behold, is it not?” a stallion asked.
“You could say that…” Flash responded.
These horses did things very different to his world. Sunset had told him that Twilight lived in a library, which was also a tree. Sunset’s friends had been talking about how strange it was that a princess should live in a tree, but Sunset said, while not common, many ponies chose to live in tree-homes.
Well, this certainly was a tree befitting a princess. Even if it was a terrible eyesore upon the village.
Flash trotted down Mane Street (not Main Street, but Mane Street; the sign said as much!), making his way through the crowded market, towards the palace.
Horses of all shapes and sizes greeted him as he walked through the town. Some were very friendly (mostly the mares), while others were openly hostile (mostly the stallions, though more than one mare glared daggers at him), but none impeded his trip. Soon, he was standing at the doors to the palace.
“Uhh, hey dudes,” Flash greeted the two stone faced guards at the door.
The guards glared at him.
“Yeah, so I’m just… gunna go in, hey?” Flash moved to open the door, but was stopped by the guards.
“Halt, citizen!” the horny guard shouted. Flash chuckled inwardly at his joke.
“I’m, uhh… here to see Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“We are well aware of your visit,” the bird-horse replied. “The thing is, you are already here.”
A shot of light burst out of the horny-horses horn and hit Flash directly in the chest. He wondered briefly if he needed to report what had just happened… being blasted by a dudes horn seemed like the kind of thing he might want to keep to himself.
“What the hell?” Flash shouted.
“He’s not a changeling, sir,” Horny McDudeblaster told the other guard.
“Of course I’m not a change-whatever,” Flash shouted.
“Then why are you outside?” Birdman asked.
“I… uhhh… was goin’ to the toilet?”
“Outside?”
“Ummm, yeah. Don’t you guys?”
The scowl from both guards told Flash that, evidently, they did not.
“Very well,” Horny McDudeblaster said, his dude-blaster glowing as he pushed the door open. “You are free to enter, sir…”
Flash Sentry entered the palace, so deep in thought as to the mechanics of indoor plumbing for horses that he failed to hear the guards as the door closed behind him.
“Our Princess chooses to date him?”
Ж
“So, Twi… Ah don’t get why we’re doin’ this.”
“Applejack, please. You’re my friends, I just thought it would be fun…”
“But a… highschool ball?” Rarity asked. “Darling, that is just so… cliche.”
The ballroom was decked out like a gymnasium, and the gymnasium was decked out like a highschool ball. Pinkie Pie danced furiously to the poorly played guitar music coming from the stage.
“Uhh, Twilight,” Flash Sentry called from the stage. “I… I don’t think I am doing this right.”
“Oh Flash, you are doing it just right,” Twilight sighed. “You’re just like him…”
“Him? Who’s him?”
“I said hymn. Like a choir of angels.”
“Oh?” Flash smiled. “Awesome!”
Flash continued to play the guitar, strumming the strings awkwardly with his primary feathers. The ball guests cringed at the horrendous sounds emanating from the stage… at least when their princess was looking away.
Cheers rose up from the crowd as Flash Sentry stepped off the stage and DJ-Pon3 took over.
“May I have this dance?” Twilight asked, holding her hoof out Flash.
“Uhh, I don’t really dance,” Flash answered with a nervous grin.
“Yes you do,” Twilight said, with a pleading look across her face that Flash could never say ‘no’ to. The dancefloor cleared as Twilight led Flash to the center.
Twilight danced. She got totally funky, lost herself to the rhythm. She danced like nopony was watching.
Which did not suit Flash Sentry. There were a lot of ponies watching.
“Uhh, Twilight, maybe you should—”
“Dance with me!” Twilight growled.
Flash sighed. It had been like this for years… but he loved her, so he would indulge her eccentricities. He copied her flailing movements, well aware of how many eyes were upon him.
“You’re doing it wrong!” a voice shouted.
The crowds parted, and Twilight looked up to see who had dared interrupt her dance with—
Flash Sentry.
Ж
There she was. The love of his life. His reason for living.
“Flash?” Twilight asked.
“In the flesh!” he answered with a cocky grin.
Twilight pushed the goofus she was dancing with to the floor, and lunged towards Flash.
“I can’t—mwah—believe—mwah—it’s you!—mwah—You’re really—mwah—here!—mwah—The real—mwah—you!” Twilight gasped between the kisses she peppered on Flash’s face.
“It’s really me, yeah,” Flash answered. “Would now be a completely awkward time to ask you for that dance?”
“I’d love t—”
“Twilight‽ What is going on?” the goofus asked.
“Oh, this is awkward,” Twilight replied, sheepishly. “This is, uhh, Flash Sentry. The real Flash Sentry.”
Flash looked the goofus over, then looked himself up and down. The resemblance was uncanny.
“The real Flash Sentry‽” the goofus screamed.
“Yeah, dude. Chill.” Flash answered. “I can take it from here. Thanks for keepin’ her warm—”
Twilight nuzzled her face into Flash’s chest, breathing in his beautiful scent.
“Three years!” the goofus yelled. “Three years. Three years of walking down fake high school sets, bumping into you. Three years of awkward staged meetings at Sugar Cube Corner. Are you telling me those three years were a lie?”
“Well, not a lie, per se—” Twilight replied, her voice somewhat muffled by Flash’s fur.
“So what, now that he’s here you’re just going to—”
“Guawds,” Twilight called out, burying her face deeper into Flash’s chest. “Effcort Fwaff from the pawaff.”
“You’re sick, Twilight Sparkle!” the goofus screamed, as armed guards dragged him away from the ball. “You’re a monster! What kind of pony would do that, use someone as a stand in—”
Ж
“Are you sure he’s not coming back?” Twilight sniffled.
“Yep,” Sunset responded. When was this goofus going to get it through her head? Flash was gone, chasing some pony plot, and wouldn’t be coming back.
“B-but why?” Twilight sobbed, slumped on the ground in front of the statue. “He didn’t even say goodbye!”
“Eh, he’s kind of like that,” Sunset shrugged, looking up at the magic mirror. Twilight’s sobbing was begining to grate on her nerves. “Hey, wanna make out?”
Twilight’s sniffles subsided a little.
“Yeah, okay.”
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Poor Flash. Well, both of them.
This is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.
Is it wrong that I am super stoked I already have one downvote for this story, even prior to release!
Hah!
Yay, the Moose is back in action!
PRAISE IT BROTHER!
YES!
I even lost a follower over this story.
Magnificent!
4726991 Sarcasm is a lost art to some people it seems
4726991 Damn, they must really hate Flash Sentry.
4727081 4727091
Either that, or they actually do love Flash Sentry, and this pissed them off.
The four dislikes so far make me feel good. The Flash Sentry haters are out and about. Time to go collecting tears.
This was glorious...
That part at the end, though...
Overabundance of goofs.
You deserved it bro. this reminds me of a trollfic.If it is.. 
celestia moustache duck
4727357
Not intended completely as a trollfic (not completely) but yeah, there certainly is a bit of troll in there.
Kf you say my emoticon order it's like a song. Celestia moustache celestia twi celestia moustache duck
4727374
I was once a tree house
I lived in a cake
but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake
>>Anonymoose
Wow.
Such joy you bring! Nom nom nom.
4727160 Seven, now.
Anonymoose, you have to keep us updated on the FlashRage and do a follow-up blog post. Even when he's the comic fall guy--and mostly I write him that way, too--people rush out, screaming, "I FUCKING HATE BRAD," and let the poor fic have it right in the goolies. It can be really funny to watch.
4727943
You know, part of me wonders, who are the haters for this fic. I struggle to imagine there are seven fans of Brad on this site, so I am guessing it must be the anti-bradders.
Oooo, now there is an experiment. Can we fire a Brad fan and an anti-Brad at each other at 99% the speed of light. Just to see what happens? Someone get the LHC on the phone, FOR SCIENCE!
I love this!!!
It answered every question I've had so far about this ship!
Eeyup! Going in the favorites!!!
... huh.
... huh.
... yeah, OK!
I totally forgot you had this in the works. You are such a troll.
4728066
Recently brought it out of my deleted ideas, then finished this during lunch time.
Wow. Those two deserve each other. You'd think after three years, Twilight would've grown weary of the facade, or her friends would've intervened...
I believe we are witnessing her first steps into Nightmare.
Yes, I'm fully aware that I'm overanalyzing this. It's fun. Much as the story was. Thank you for it.
4726811
Well, maybe the pony can go into the human dimension. He'll be able to commiserate with the local Twilight.
4727981
I think it's a worthy experiment, but first we have to FIND a verified Brad fan. They're a bit like the Higgs Boson: we're sure they're real, and evidence suggests we might have seen one ONCE...
Wow.
Pony Twilight and Human Flash are assholes. If they didn't have wings I would advocate throwing them off a cliff or something.
Still funny though.
Sorry but I don't really geddit
This is a pretty awesome story. Though we need some kind of sequel where Flash stoops Nightmaremoon or something. Why? Well what we have here is a football player named Flash from another world who could be saving every one of us.
4872877
derpicdn.net/img/2014/1/25/534065/full.jpg
You know, I am very tempted to get a commissioned pic done of Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle, with Sunset Shimmer as Ming in the vein of this poster:
i.jeded.com/i/flash-gordon.19324.jpg
4872930 Why pay someone to do it when I'm a digital artist who's bored out of her mind
? Give me an hour or so.
4872946
4.bp.blogspot.com/-Bo8tV_DMXmI/Tq2J9JBbBDI/AAAAAAAAAf8/7Kpai7T5fXw/s1600/pinkierainboomaww.gif
This is silly.
You're silly.
I am silly.
Poor pony flash =<
Hah! This feels a lot like the mirrored twin of one of my stories. Same image and everything. It's not quite stylistically sound - there's an overabundance of dialogue compared to description, so scene changes are awkwardly abrupt and the speaker isn't always clear - but the concept was carried out well and it made me laugh. Thumbs up.
People sure do hate Flash, don't they?
Uh..? What did I just read?
Omg, I didn't even need to finish the story before clicking the favorite button. This is so funny that I can't even tell if it's a trollfic or not, but in a good way!
I can see Pony!Flash getting chucked through the mirror just in time to see Sunset and Human!Twi make-out...
You weren't supposed to put this in Twilight x supporting character. It specifically says Flash is a background character. Nopony likes him, anyways
6455569
No idea which group you are talking about, as other people can add the story to groups that I have no control over.
I'm not really sure how to feel about this. I get what the jokes are supposed to be, but it feels too sadistic for my tastes.
The story should definitely have the Random tag though.