Hot Water

Twilight_Scratch

Twilight_Scratch #1 · Jun 12th, 2014 · · ·

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Not bad. Not bad at all.

Starlight Shadow

Starlight Shadow #2 · Jun 12th, 2014 · 1 · ·

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I've found wallpapers make some nice cover arts.
dontgotobed.de/img/pinkie_glow.png

Zeyon The Green

Zeyon The Green #3 · Jun 13th, 2014 · · ·

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Pinkie Pie is a sex ninja for sneaking up on Twilight like that

Rarity's flank is a metaphor for time... Give generously Rarity.

Derpator

Derpator #4 · Jun 13th, 2014 · · ·

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4537641 I tend to use gallery images from the show for cover arts, although I'll take that into account. While gallery images do fine for me so far, I'll probably have to start expanding on my choices.

4540074 Pinkie Pie is best ninja, especially for sex. I did originally have it so that from that flashback, if you call it that, Twilight would have been thinking "DAT FLANK". Eh, I scrapped it. Rarity was really in for a treat that party though.

I Liek Pepsi

I Liek Pepsi #5 · Jun 19th, 2014 · · 6 ·

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WDF DID I JUST READ?!

OhRoseluck

OhRoseluck #6 · Jun 26th, 2014 · · ·

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4567366 they are clopfics.. Don't you know what clopfics are?

BlackAlizebra

BlackAlizebra #7 · Jul 8th, 2014 · · ·

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you did a very good job for a first timer.

aCB

aCB #8 · Jul 14th, 2014 · 1 · 1 ·

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This story was expertly written in form. It eased in, it gave backstory, and it steadily moved toward the climax (pun intended). However, Twilight was WAY out of character. She just doesn't have the personality type to be overcome by lust or even just "go with the flow" when an unusual event happens. She's a planner, and something happening that's not according to plan would make her uncomfortable. Arguably too uncomfortable for sex. It would have been a lot better if it was Pinkie x Rainbow instead.

Derpator

Derpator #9 · Jul 15th, 2014 · 3 · ·

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4691260
Fair point. But this is something I see a little often. What character is there? It will never be brought up how active the mane six are sexually, in canon anyway, so how do we determine if they're OOC or not? For all we know, Twilight is the biggest slut in existence, while Rainbow Dash is a fan of watersports and a very nervous virgin. It's all what we take for ourselves, what we like to imagine from the characters we've been shown. And if the first example is true, I'd see her going to great lengths to be full of lust or take advantage of Pinkie offering herself to her, hence her behaviour that was shown. It's a tough situation for me. How can I keep them in character while using my own version of how sexually active they are? Fluttershy can often be seen as a dominatrix because of her assertive backlashing. Is that still in character? The one who's shy and hides away at everything? Suddenly shouting and yelling at her partner, possibly hitting them? A character in bed is probably different than how they normally act, or that's how I can see it, depending on the situation and how sexually active the mane six are of course.

I'm not ranting (well, I kind of am), but rather asking. I'll happily take cc where I can take it on my stories, and this is a point I've seen but never brought up. Was it so wrong that the Twilight I portrayed here was a sexually active one, though not entirely hinted? This is the trouble I have, trying to have the two variables different, yet keep it the same so she could be seen 'in character'.

Thanks for the feedback though.

aCB

aCB #10 · Jul 16th, 2014 · 1 · 1 ·

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4698118
There is a point where lust will overcome the natural inclinations of that person's personality. For example, if Fluttershy was into BDSM, she wouldn't automatically become aggressive when she found herself alone with another pony--she would have to feel comfortable first. Rainbow Dash, because of her brash personality, would be inclined to be more comfortable with the idea quicker than most ponies. Because Twilight has a history of being socially avoidant, she wouldn't quickly adapt to this new aspect of social interaction. She would maybe want to research it first, get used to the idea of maybe becoming intimate with a particular pony, and be nervous about underperforming. Once she actual gets to the point where she's comfortable having sex, then she can do whatever kinkiness she's inclined to do. Just make sure it doesn't come out of nowhere and you have some sort of dialog or foreshading that this is what she's into (unless you're trying to go for shock value for lols).

BlackPowder