The Path I Tread

by Smaug the Golden

Home is where the heart is.

I stare at the wide expanse of sky, tears falling down my face. I know now that it was worth it, the joy of friendship, was worth the eons of agony I have endured. But why must I wander this endless landscape, forever alone, never to find another life?

I run a claw across my seat. I smile sadly as I brush away the ash to read the words I know lie underneath. Home is where the heart is. She was the one who put those on there, that wonderful little pegasus. She put that there for me, to let me know she would always welcome me.

Where can she welcome me now? She is gone, and I can do nothing to reach her. Immortality is not a blessing, but a curse, and I was given that curse. I hated it, staying the same while those around me faded one after another. I gave in eventually, to the voices. They whispered to me, offering me anything I could dream of. I took their offer, and took Equestria. I forsook friendship, and instead took power and wealth.

I was defeated more than once, but I kept trying. Those voices, they kept whispering to me, freeing me and threatening me, giving strength, pulling me deeper into their net. It took a friend to free me, to pull me from that web of darkness and evil. She pulled me away from them, breaking their hold on me.

I never expected them to come back, the voices. They returned that fateful day, with all the forces of Tartarus at their beck and call. I ran from them, and they let me run. I believe that they wanted it to be this way, for me to have the pain of guilt and shame weighing down on me for years. They wanted me to pay for forsaking them, to pay for abandoning them. They wished not for death, but for victory. Maybe that is what made them so formidable. They looked past simply killing, past death, and sought something worse for their foes.

I stand slowly, my arms hanging limply. Will I ever see my friends again? I sigh, letting out a breath I did not know I was holding. My friends showed me the light; they brought me out of the darkness, out of bondage, and saved me from evil. What they did for me cannot be repaid, no matter how hard I try.

I stare into the distance, my gaze wandering the land. Where did the land end and the sky begin? That is something that I do not know. The land is as barren as the sky; the land is nothing but rubble and wreckage, an empty battlefield. The world was a battleground that day; the land a battlefield, the water a sea of blood, and the sky a black void.

I turn my gaze back to the plaque of Fluttershy’s. “Home is where the heart is,” I murmur softly. Where is my heart? Where is my home? That is something I do not know anymore. I do not even know if I even have a heart anymore. Agony wears away at ones heart, and I have suffered more than any soul.

The world was never meant to be eternal, I know that now. Why it came to be is not something I can know. I care not if it was a created out of nowhere or if it had some greater purpose, all I care is that it is over and I am lost on what is left. The end came and passed, leaving behind an empty shell.

I turn away from the plaque towards the north. What lies beyond those mountains? An ending? The end of all things? I know not, nor can I pass them, for I have tried, and the living cannot pass them. A barrier lies erected on those mountains, a wall to stop those who do not belong there. I sigh and turn towards the plaque once more. “My heart is where you are my friends. There also lies my home.”

“Friends. You are a fool, Discord.” I hear the voice behind me, and I know the voice like my own. It seems I was wrong in my belief that all life had vanished, but the life that still remains is not the kind I would seek. I turn around to see Tirek, his size larger than when I had last seen him.

“Since when have I been a fool?” I ask quietly. I have no strength to fight Tirek, and I would not do so even if I could. I truly pity him, for I have something to hold onto, but what does he have? Nothing. He is truly alone, and I pity him for that fact.

“Since you made friends. I have told you before that friendship is another form of imprisonment, but you would not listen. I could not even befriend you, for even that is a form of imprisonment. You betrayed yourself when you befriended those ponies, and you did the same by joining me. You are nothing but a turncoat and a traitor.”

I shake my head sadly. “That may be, but you are the one who is the fool. Friendship is not imprisonment, but freedom. I have my friends waiting for me should I pass on. Who is waiting for you?”

“My allies and warriors. I took them from you, your friends, didn’t I? You must hate me for that. I expect your rage is like an inferno wishing to consume me. That will make me all the stronger.”

I wave my paw around the empty landscape. “What is it worth to you, to have power? There is nothing here for either of us. Nothing. There is no inferno, no fire. Why do you want power? There is no use for it here.” I find myself shouting at the centaur in my frustration. “There is nothing here but pain and anguish. You may see yourself as ruler of this land, but there is nothing to rule. The land is gone, and so are those you fought for.”

The centaur snarls, his arms seeming to pulse with anger. “I am ruler here! I am king of this land, and none shall take it from me. I have magic, magic greater than yours, the magic of all the land. You think that defiance will get you anywhere with me, Lord Tirek, ruler of this land?”

“No. It will not get me anywhere, but it will get you nowhere as well. You are ruler of nothing. This land is gone, consumed, destroyed. Why do you want this land? It is a wasteland.” I stand up straight, my eyes blazing with anger. “You are a fool Tirek. What awaits you after death? Joy? Peace? Happiness? When have you ever found joy in others? When?”

Tirek growls in anger. I wait for the inevitable blow, the attack that will end it for me. The centaur opens his mouth, that void, and I feel my magic leaving me. I welcome it. There are many things I have experienced, but death is not one. As it leaves me, I feel another sensation, one that I have not felt in a long time: peace. As I collapse on the ground, as my vision fades, I see Tirek growing in size, his eyes glowing with triumph. I care not. Let him have it. I have no need for it where I am going.

When my eyes open I smile. I know where I am. As I stand and brush myself off I gaze around the familiar cottage. Animals fill the room, their little snouts and noses nosing around. I look around for that face I long to see, but I do not see it. It does not matter. As I walk out of the cottage I gaze at my surroundings. That wonderful little cake shop, the library, the schoolhouse, just a few of the places that I remember. Spike waves to me as I pass by the library, a book clutched in his claw.

Tears well in my eyes as I stare at the wonderful surroundings. I have never been happier. A rainbow streak passes over my head and I follow it. When I reach the end of the path I smile. There at the bottom of the hill those six are sitting, their pets having their weekly playdate. I grin and wave, and they smile back. As I run down the hill to join them I smile. I am home. And home is where the heart is.

Author's Note:

I added this in a bit later because I felt The Path I Tread needed a bit more. I had trouble writing the last bit due to the inability to see the computer screen. It didn't help that I was listening to Les Miserables at the time.

Comments

[Nerfyy]

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN SO FUCKING DEEP IN MY FEELS AAAAARGHHH

[Evia The Unicorn]

I almost cried~

[Smaug the Golden]

4426301 Glad you liked it.

[LightOfTriumph]

.... Wow.

You said you were Thirteen? Damn.

Okay, a review for a review. So here it is.

I was dreading this, truth be told. When a teenager tries to write sad and dark, it usually turns out Twilight or worse.

But you shocked the hell out of me. You did the best thing you could do with a story like this.

You focused on the CHARACTER'S pain. Not your own.

And good GOD was it effective! When I read good fiction, I should hear music in my head. And I did here.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Lorde for the first chapter.

Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley for the second.

If you want a negative...

I feel another feeling.

Never write this scentence again. Ever. If you see this scentence you are doing prose wrong.

Other than that, you got a bright future you ahead of you Smaug! Keep it up.

[tdnpony]

Its...BEAUTIFUL! Truly a masterpiece like none I have ever seen before!

[Noble Thought]

I'm glad you included the ending that you did. It lets me believe that Discord was dreaming, or that Ponyville is still there, and everypony just moves through the universes where it exists when they die.

[SpitFlame]

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of story: The Path I Tread
Grammar Score: 8
Pros
-A great insight look at Discord's more emotional sight
-Touchy feelings
-Well written, but...
Cons
-A few errors were spotted
-Confusing exposition scene
-Weak prose

Notes Section:
You definitely expanded on Discord's mind. Here, we see him, not as his cocky self, but a saddened soul suffering lost. It was a great concept in which you have greatly expanded on. I've seen many Discord-after-season-4-finale stories, but yours was one of the more in-depth ones. The feelings were great! By the time I ended the second chapter, I could really feel the many emotions you tried to put in this. It was sad to a happy degree, and that's never a bad thing. The writing was quite exceptional as well. Your grammar and formatting was a solid effort, but there were a few errors I spotted.

You tried you hardest, didn't you?

Supposed to be 'your'.

A world without hope… Is that a world I want to be in?

Whenever there is an ellipsis, you never capitalize the word after.

“Friends. You are a fool Discord.”

You need a comma between 'fool' and 'Discord', for you always need commas when addressing someone through dialogue. Also, shouldn't there be a question mark after 'friends'?

The flame fell from you like rain from the sky. It burnt this land.

Sentence fragment. You should put these two lines together. Why leave out a four-word sentence out? Colon, semicolon, dash, whichever way works best for you.

These errors repeated often, but nothing too major.

Now, the exposition scene. The way you introduced your story with first and second paragraph was not the best. I was very confused as to what was going on and what time-line I was reading. If it weren't for the cover picture or character tag, I would have no idea it was Discord who was talking, nor would I have known it was an alternate aftermath of the season 4 finale. So your exposition scene was quite bad, and only for your author's note at the end did I grasp the story a lot better.

Your prose was very thin and scarce. Sure, this is a first-person story mostly done through dialogue—I get that—but when the instances came where you were describing the scenery, your descriptions were weak. All you did was say there were fire and rocks, and... more fire, and a burned ground. These descriptions were a great turn-off for me as I had a hard time imagining what I was suppose to look at.

For the exposition, I'd recommend to add some sort of reminder showing that this is indeed the aftermath of Discord.

For prose, try to make your descriptions longer, and try to use a few heavy vocabulary words. They always work for me!

The best you can do is get a proof-reader. Don't get me wrong, you are a great author with amazing writing skills, but it wasn't perfect. Nothing is perfect, so I can bet I'd recommend an extra proof-reader—or at the very least a pre-reader—to all stories out there.

Overall, good fic with good emotions to it.

Enjoy your review. As for my review, I'd recommend you to read this story: "Time and Thoughts are Different, Twilight"

[Smaug the Golden]

4663162 Thanks for the review. I'll head over to yours. As for the question after friends, Tirek means it as a statement more than a question. Thanks for showing me my pros and cons.

[SirTruffles]

Good job handling your tone honestly. Sad/dark has a tendency to get heavy handed. That was not in evidence here.
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png

[Smaug the Golden]

4724548 Thanks. I'll be squee-ing for the next few hours.

[SirTruffles]

4724628
You're welcome. Just remember to breathe or else it's thousand year hiccups for you

[Black Lord of Mordor]

I...I...why? I'm actually crying , and that is hard to accomplish. Well done...* voice cracks* Well done.

[Smaug the Golden]

4728004 I just made Sauron cry.

[Alphanova]

Wow... Just wow! This story was Excellent!

[Smaug the Golden]

4771573 I might be able to. Respond in PM and I'll see what I can do. Glad you enjoyed the story though.

[The Fetish Unicorn]

Beautiful, just beautiful.

[Smaug the Golden]

6320183 6320104 Glad you liked it. Been a while since anyone's commented on this, glad that new people still find and enjoy it.

[Raichu]

This was nice. Sad yet nice.

[Loganberry]

Full review here, but in brief: interesting to see a post-apocalyptic setting written before the S5 finale! Shame it's so unremittingly woe-filled, though.

[Randomfastreader]

well not being able to see the computer screen, is a little bit of a problem!