Alexandrite Ward
Joined 1st Feb, 2013 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Fluttershy why!? Now all of equestria is doomed
I love it. In every single aspect, really. The narration in first person is amazing; exactly what you would expect from someone whose sanity is disappearing. The story is as well fascinating. The way Discord reacts only tells us more about how he is changing, and that is an excellent development. Just our of curiosity; are they ponies or humans? It is just that the way you mentioned clothing so often was curious. Anyway, great job.
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Glad you enjoyed it. They aren't human, but I tend to always put my characters in clothes. (I mean Rarity sells them for a living so ponies wear them lol) I just find that clothes can help tell a story so I like to have them.
FOUR STAHS
A+
FIVE STAHS
Good work.
It's perfect, horrible and tragic, but perfect.
You did accidentally call Fluttershys hair 'brown curls' when he brushed her hair aside, though.
Did Fluttershy kill herself when he started locking the doors, because she was afraid that Discord was going to keep her there with him?
Holy moly. This may be the darkest fanfic I ever read. Terrifying. And my poor baby Fluttershy!!! And Discord...The struggle between the Good Discord and the Insane Discord...It's all so very realistic when it comes to sanity. Of course it's possible that his powers would have him lose it. I don't know if that makes sense, but as dark as this is, it's realistic and it's eye-opening. Oh poor Fluttershy, and even Discord...
But your writing is freaking fantastic. And therefore, I couldn't help but like it, as grim and terrifying and sad and heartbreaking as it was.
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Woops, I fixed it, thank you for noticing :)
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She didn't know what he was doing, in my mind she did it because she couldn't live what what he'd done to her and how much he'd betrayed her trust.
Oh my gosh, did Discord...... *whispers*Take Fluttershy? You mention she flinches, and then kills herself... Is that what happened?
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Rape is probably a better word for it. He did it without her permission and violated her trust and she couldn't deal with this new Discord that planned to keep her trapped with him forever.
Oh fluttershy why did u have to kill yourself now all of equestria is doomed
This entire fandom needs a lot of psychiatric help. Including myself.
Equestria is doomed... Doomed Fluttershy. Don't die on me...... Please?
Amazing work! This is one of the best stories I have ever read.... But so tragic! And so evil...
Dislike for rape.
Oh god, I think my heart is beating slower, is that normal?, now I'm crying
, but at the same time I'm terrified, this is the first time my breathing actually grew louder on its own, h-he wants her as his own doll?, oh god, if I could, I would like it, for being the first dark story that scared me, but at the same time DISLIKE it, I think I need to lie down or something and watch the REAL mlp, that's not VIOLENT, or SCARY, or something that could SCAR ME FOR LIFE (THIS STORY DIDN'T BUT YOU WERE CLOSE
) Oh god, I'm scared and upset, no offense but, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!!!
Look,......I'm sorry about what I said, it's just,......I love Fluttercord,.....not only that, but Fluttershy and Discord are my favorite characters, and knowing that Fluttershy killed herself, I just feel,......
, and Discord,....going insane like this,....and keeping Fluttershy as a doll terrifies me
, I know this is a fanfiction, but still,....anyways I'm sorry, I hope your not too mad ar me
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Are you autistic?
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Well,...no, my sister says I have a little autism, but my grandma disagrees, let’s just say I’m a bit impulsive, care deeply about my passions(Like Fluttercord) and things being fair, I don’t like anything Too dark (Verbally that is) realistic blood terrifies me, and of course, I’m sensitive.
Make my heart stop feeling things.
Usually I don’t like 1st person stories, but this one really captured Discord’s failing sanity. It’s far too possible that, with the weight of his powers, he could actually just snap, and as much as I hate it, Fluttershy is logically the most likely target because she spends so much time with him alone. I liked the mix between wanting her to trust him again and still thinking of her as a “doll”, and although the ending was tragic, it was beautifully written.
I'd love to see an expansion on this idea