Humans falling in love with ponies.2,411 stories ·6,065 members
Beings with Super Powers1,118 stories ·1,531 members
Human on Royalty1,697 stories ·4,855 members
League of Humans Acting Heroically357 stories ·1,156 members
Heroes and Antiheroes of Equestria334 stories ·375 members
Joshua Sylvan, a nerdy overweight young adult male into roleplaying games of all kinds, along with reading comic books and watching a little girl's television show, wakes up in a forest with a different body. After giving himself a new name and working out a persona to blend in a bit better with the magical land of talking ponies. Even more strangeness ensues.
Tags will likely be added as the story matures.
Page generated in 0.181 seconds
Total duration
994 users online
1,477,821 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
4333221
Thank you very much for your feedback.
To answer in order.
1. Spoilers (Long answer is he doesn't know, He hasn't even seen what his face looks like.)
2. He has hands not hooves he does not appear to be full pony. I'll try to do something to explain that better.
3. I'm trying to limit myself to what the character would be able to explain as he's currently telling the story he's kinda like me but not me personally.
4. I will work on that more. Right now he's not very good at it but when he get's better I will make sure to do a better job with the effect and the information he gains. Basically it's like how Toph "sees" with earthbending but right now it's limited to earth-like substances.
I actually quite like the story so far, I'd really like to see what happens when he comes in contact with either the pony sisters, the mane 6 or... heaven forbid... Princess Cadence and Shining Armor
You mean you, the author?
4339088
i'm his roomie and technical pre-reader. no, this aint really him.
4338278
Oh god my sides, it will be entertaing to see that written and hell to get on paper.
(now to the author)
on a related note, keep it up man. getting good.
couple of spelling and type errors, but nothing too hideous.
getting interesting.
and dat accent....
(we southerner's do tahlk kinda like that)
YOU WILL NOW PRESS THE DISLIKE BUTTON ON THIS COMMENT!
first.
luna is best princess.
That's right, THE SCANDAL!!! Oh no! Who's going to tell the princesses who they can and can't be with? Oh that's right! THEY'RE the ones in the top position! No one gets to force them to do anything...
4333221 your picture fails your name
4402382
Better do what he says. *dislike
Is this going to be proof read? Because the spacing, or the lack therein, makes it a bit grating to read.
Other than that, I cannot see any jarring problems with the story so far that have not been addressed.
4503825
Do you mean spacing between words or spacing between lines?
Great chapter but we the readers demand MOAR, FASTER!!!!!
4355153 No, friend. We REALLY don't.
The ONLY problem I have is grammar. Great plot (LOVE dat Lunar ass), GREAT O.C., and a nice combination of genres.
4504917 The spacing between paragraphs is what I mean.
4504917 A demonstration of that would be like so...
Change that to this:
It makes it easier to digest.
4513924 I'll take it into consideration and thank you for taking time to give feedback. I just only use the indentions because thats how all novels tend to be written in English. If it's something that would improve readingness I guess I can do it but line spacing between paragraphs in most literature is meant be like a wipe in movies usually signifying a scene change. Which I guess I should really do with my stories still if I'm going to make that statement and not be a hypocrite.
4514137 Actually, if you are going to use a screen wipe transition, I would suggest using a visual indicator like this:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Or you could alternatively use a briefer one like this:
XXXXX
Either gets the point across that you are using a transition to move the story along.
I would definitely recommend using double spacing at least between paragraphs and when people speak, that way it doesn't feel like a wall of text, I certainly love this story and genuinely want to see how it unfolds. although, just to be clear... it's an anthro-sombra-esque guy surrounded by normal ponies, right?
4516126 Yes I'm sorry I'm not doing enough to explain that.
4517241 Eh, all it takes is a bit more detail on how awkward it is for him to be the only human-shaped pony he's seen here will do ya fine.
That was... Nice.
no bat fluttershy... sigh... still I'm glad she didn't have to go through it.
But, but it is true
Yay!!!! New chapter!!!!!!!!
Well, giving it a like for now and a favorite to keep track of it. I'm hoping this'll turn out better than my pessimism thinks it will...
Rick Riordan's AWESOME! In fact:[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t6lHm-stXdM]
a few smallish errors, but overall its good. I'll talk to you about them later.
I like the story, but you REALLY need to look at some of the misspelling of words throughout your chapters. For instead of far and the like.
I FOUND ERRORS AND HAD HIM FIX THEMS.
i hope i missed none.
4402382 it's kind of funny, you're not first, in fact your comment was the last one i read so...
myextralife.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2012-01-02.jpg
Nothing wrong with it except that it would be better if you extended the transition beyond just a sentence, as it is it was extremely sudden.
this last sentance-
that made me go -
You need to go back and edit this badly. You have double words (which is caught by most word processors), added words that make the sentence make no sense, extra quotation marks that make dialogue a little confusing as the person keeps talking after a closing quotation mark that's randomly in there.
I bet he like fatal.
5105367
only fools mess with the affection of a god who can either create stars at a whim ( with possible time sphere for their light to reach) or bend light/summon lights to create the illusion of stars and moves the moon and asteroid's for a living.
I wouldn't want to try to dodge meteor's or the moon let alone burning/freezing balls of light... plus pissing of the goddess who can cause floods on a whim with the moon... and can track you through your dreams and give you nightmares.... good luck
not only can she drown/flood, bombarded you with flaming space rock, track you anywhere when you sleep, but constant nightmares when you sleep are also in your grasp... and frankly if you cheat on luna you'd probably deserve it all.
5105621
Honestly, no idea who that is. She sounds kinda fanon but I can't find anything on her.
Who?
4512735 Depends on where and how you were raised.
He's going to the Crystal Empire... and he looks like Sombra. Well, this will end hilariously.
sutile- archaic
: done by stitching
or something like that.
...............................
MY MAJOR GRIP AS HIS PROOFREADER IS THE ENGRISH LANGUAGE IS BALLS HARD AND FULL OF REDUNDANT WORDS.
that all look and sound the freaking same.
*Edit* nevermind, answered in the next chapter. might want to add a few visual cues about the nonanthro ponies in this one though
Still a lot better solution than Flutterbutters. The fruitbats in one orchard from the reunion episode means she has only one solution; "Carve off another section for a sanctuary whenever there are problem animals."
This means the Apples have to cut down more Everfree Forest to expand to make up for the lost orchard acerage, displacing more animals, who destroy more apples... Its a vicious cycle Fluttershy created that makes more work for herself than it should.
At least this time, AJ had tried to put an end to the "If you give a bat an apple" storybook cycle, and thanks to Onyxian, AJ succeeded where the episode failed...
a few small errors and missing apostrophes and such. nothing too major man.
Keep up the good work!
5105621
if you cheat on Luna you deserve worse.
This will end badly in many, many many ways.
Or not.
Really, who's to tell?
Awwww sheeeehhhht it still lives!!!!!
Tis all up to luck now. RTD!