• Member Since 10th Jul, 2013
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SSA


Comments ( 255 )

Let it be said I dont like spilight. That said I'll read and like anything writtin well.

You have my attention. Fav'd and waiting for more

Hmmm:trixieshiftright:...Disturbingly intriguing...

And I mean that, the BDSM parts in the first chapter goes father than I ever would have probably gone (Especially the whole Dining thing she tried to do),but it's an interesting start and it forms an interesting and different character out of Twilight as well as the sensible Spike.

I am a little wary, I'll admit, but I cautiously look forward to more.

I THANK GOD (i am an atheist) YOU had spike stop things and be a sensabul guy and have him put an end to this before it got too far and he truly cares for his harem and for that i thank you with :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: out of 5
no 5 for lack of sex in first ch because i am a clop :trollestia:

:twilightoops:that was intense...but I want to know more!!:flutterrage:

You would not believe how hard it is to find good Dom! Spike stories. Want an idea? This is only the 2ND story with a dominant Spike I've seen, and while the first was decent it had some flaws including a not so thrilling plot. This? This is gold. You have my applause.

Interesting. Thank God for Spike showing some sanity. Twilight... Ouch. Poor Twilight for really quite a while there. But she comes out of the darkness okay, in the end. She has Spike, she has her friends, all's well that ends in a well, as the saying goes. ...That IS how that saying goes, isn't it...? I'll read more of this. I have a thing for dom Spike, and i've a seperate thing for sub Twi. ...And vice versa. I'm a strange one, I admit.

I like, I like. Twilight overdoing the pet play was I bit much, but hey, it's Twilight:twilightsheepish:! She always tries to hard to please:moustache::twilightblush:.

Got to say, Spike's, character come out very well in this story. Smart, Strong and intimidating, while still being caring and loving:moustache:.

This part really got my attention though;

I believe that this incident, occurred exactly two years, three months, and twelve days after hatching was the beginning of his and my 'special' relationship. Understand that there was nothing sexual in the action at the time, no matter what perverse implications it has now. Most likely one of the gryphons taught him how to do it, I've never asked, but one day he began stalking. Like a cat, stalking it's prey. At first it was just fun, I'd see him crouched atop a bookcase, stubby tail trying to lash back and fourth while he waited to pounce on an unwary clerk. But one day we were up well past our bedtimes. I was still in the archives and Spike was keeping my company. I had turned to ask if he could help me putting the books away when I saw this look in his eyes.

He wasn't being playful, no, this was dead serious. This was a predator looking at prey and it sent a shiver running down my filly spine. I tried to run, I truly did, but he's faster than he looks and he had me in less than a second. Claws digging into my tender skin and sharp, gem crushing teeth at my throat. He held me against the floor for many minutes, never letting go but never releasing the pressure of his claws or teeth. When my heavy breathing subsided and my heart slowed he released his teeth but held me down with his claws.

"Never run from me Twilight. Never." I remember his words as if he were whispering them in my ear again. Low, predatory, a voice that could chill blood and make you think of nothing but salivating jaws and razor teeth. I never have run from him. I never will.

In all the stories about, Twilight and Spike, growing up I can't believe this wasn't in those stories more often. He is a dragon! Dragons are predators! And with lots of books and some Gryphons around he was going to pick up stalking prey soon or later:pinkiecrazy:.

Keep up the good work.:twilightsmile:
Will be waiting for more!:moustache:

(sits back in chair) well slap my ass and call me sue this is what I have been looking for the past two years of this fandom to you good sir I say BRING IT ON :pinkiecrazy::flutterrage::pinkiecrazy:

Very interesting. You've done a great job of showing in character dom/sub Spike and Twi. The pace was good, the actions believable. I and very interested in seeing how this progresses.

However, you would lose me if EVERY one of the Mane Six joins them. That would push beyond the limit. Every SINGLE one of the characters wantig to be in a BSDM relationship? Please no. Plus, I've always wanted to see a harem story where one of the girls says "no."

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Really? I know at least four. Do you want me to send you the links via message?

4216735 Really?:rainbowhuh: Well that would be much appreciated.:pinkiehappy:

Near mid break AND near rape?! Those are almost my fetishes~ Twispike is just the icing on the cake. :moustache:

Mmmmm. My bueno lo doy un 9/10 for originality and also write more Whitero keep the good job up.

Release a helpless infant into the wilderness? And most ponies would've actually fucking done that in your story? This version of Equestrian society is fucking horrible.

At least Spike gets what he deserves after all those stupid Princess harem fanfics he was never a part of.:rainbowkiss:

4216984

Well, to be fair, it only took him three days to be able to freely switch between bipedal and quadrapedal stances, he was a very quick learner and if dragons are all like that, he probably had a good chance of surviving, especially with as tame as most of the wildlife in Equestria seems to be

SSA

4216984
Furthering Blood Brandy's point a fair number of animals lay their eggs and just leave. Examples are: fish, snakes, turtles, lizards, cuckoos, frogs, and sharks. You'll notice none of these are mammals. While we are used to the notion that creatures should be nurtured and cared for in all likelihood a dragon has enough survival instincts to survive in any location that isn't the Everfree forest. So abandoning him isn't the same a killing him. It'd be like never actively teaching an infant anything. While it would slow their mental growth it would in no way stop them from leaning the necessities for survival.

I'm enjoying this already! I can't wait for the next chapter!:twilightsmile:
4216735
I'm also interested in these other stories. You think you could message me the links?

you most certainly have my interest! i hope you continue this post haste! :twilightsmile:
although now I've got to thinking, when Spike goes on "Royal Canterlot Business " it's really Celestia and Luna requesting his unique services :moustache: at the very least Celestia must know whats really going on and maybe, just maybe shes curious and wants to see what all the fuss is about :trollestia:

Okay, I just read the "snippet" this was based on, and... I'm out.

It sounds like the plan is to basically kidnap the girls and "train" them. I apologize for not noticing the "mind break" parts of the synopsis, that was my bad. Yeah, I thought it was used in the role play part of the story, like a fantasy. But if it is used in the sense that, "Oh, I'll make you my pet," then no. The other implication is that all the girls "Secretly want Spike and are all submissive and want to be punished and we just have to show them," then I wish you the best. No down vote, because it is written well, and the Twilight/Spike dynamic is at least fun to see, but if that is the direction we're going:

derpicdn.net/img/2014/3/24/584444/full.gif

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Or she might be getting reports from Spike. We don't really know Spike's relationship with Celestia, just that it was Twilight that convinced her to keep him. She might actually care more for Twilight than him and keeps an eye on things. If Spike was a bad fellow, he might just 'disappear'.

The Safty Word is (Not) Lavender

You misspelled safety, genius.

4217307

Spike is the champion of men's rights activism and loveshys, it seems.

4217307

Understandable. Like I said in my snippet, I didn't really have plans for who reacts how and why. I can understand wariness, but also understand that it was kinda from Twilight's slightly warped PoV, so things are as she understands them.

4217325

Yeah. The reason I'm not bitching is the AU tag. That gives the author some play. I just dislike the harem cliches, the idea of Spike as the kind of guy who would do the things I said above, and the mind break stuff.

Ah well, to each his own.

4217408 It that very, very thin line that would push readers away. But, hopefully they will stop down voting because of it:ajbemused:.

You are right about him getting all the Mane 6. Love Spike and all but, someone has to say no sometime.

If it happened, my money is on Rarity, Fluttershy and maybe, maybe Applejack (but hopefully not Applejack:twilightsheepish:).

4217408

Spike is a good character if he's written well, but people write him as their warped idea of what a male should be. This is why his fans are often so rabid and childish, and usually pathetic virgins: because, as a downtrodden male surrounded by empowered females, he attracts real-life loveshys and other fat, socially inept permavirgins who see an opportunity to project their fantasies of becoming the alpha male onto him.

4217200 And that would make spike seventeen?
Cougar?

Yes, continue.:pinkiehappy:

4217252
Some naughty princesses need to be reeducated.:moustache:

Celestia will groan in thanking you for Twilight convinced her to take care of the dragon boy.:trollestia:

That was actually pretty nice. Got a good sense of closeness between Spike and Twilight, and I can really dig that. It's rare that I find a story that can establish such a sense of feeling between two characters in only the first chapter, and in a retelling from the sub's first person view, no less! Those two certainly have a unique fashion of showing they love each other, but I'm hoping for more awkward moments in the future.

A few laughs would complete this, I think. Spike getting a toy that was too big for Twilight - and knowing it was too big -, then Twilight probably taking it on just to see what Spike would do. I dunno. This story sounds like it would do really well just sticking with the 'playful' aspect of intercourse, since that's what Twilight and Spike seem to be to me; lovers who just find sex really fun and a good way of showing their adoration.

Not saying this should become a comedy, but I'd like a few laughs in this. Awkward stuff, embarrassing moments, even the odd joke about dicks. Make me laugh and you'll have an avid reader.

4217508

18. If Twilight hatched him at age 4, and she's now 22, he'd be about 18.

4217494

Seems like a bit of an unfair stereotype, but to each their opinion, I suppose


4217408

Yeah, I can understand that, and the mind break thing is a bit much for some folks. I didn't really have plans with my original snippet, but as far as I thought, it was from Twilight's perspective, who saw her and Spike's actions as normal, her own viewpoint somewhat skewed.

Part of something that inspired the original idea was something I saw on CSI. In some relationships like this, it's more about trust than anything else, showing that one party has such absolute trust in the other as to give up all control. I kinda think, in Twilight's mind, anyone would be happy to have a relationship like this. Like I said, her mind's a bit skewed.

Then again, I'm not writing this thing, so I wouldn't know what's going to happen.

SSA

4217508
In this universe I've made Twilight's birthday two months before Spikes. Since this starts a few weeks after Twilight's twenty second birthday Spike is indeed currently seventeen. Age of consent varies from country to country but in this Equestria I've set it at sixteen so it's all cool.

4217586 As a dragon with an undefined lifespan (some could liv for two years, some can live forever), the age is as soon as they can put a condom on.

4216735
I must confess I too am interested in these stories you speak of.

Well. I don't know...:applejackunsure: I like where the story's going. Its well written and I love the whole twispike dominating thing you got going on. But make it believeable, don't have the mane 6 all part of spikes pet herd. You have the makings of a good story just don't over do it and be unique. Although I have to admit spike is a pimp.
:twilightsmile:.:moustache:

Man my brain tells me I shouldn't like this, but I do. Oh so very much at that. It's the fact that spike actually honestly cares enough and thinks enough to slam the breaks. Honestly, I get the feeling that though Spike's the dom, twi's the one getting what she wants. She is the one that came up with the idea of more pets after all.

I agree with everyone that it would ruin it if everyone is down with being dominated. In the real world many don't like completely giving up control and some prefer being in control themselves, and I feel this should realistically be the case with the ponies aswell.

I think shaking it up a bit would help too. Like some of his new pets being dominant over his other pets. I can't shake the idea that Flutters would make a good Dom-sub, what with her years of animal training.

I will follow this story for it shows great potential. My only fear being how you decide to implement the near-mind break.

Till the next chapter my good man.

SSA

Well. I made it to the feature box... Which kinda makes me realize why most people hate the thing. Rather than something that the writer put a lot of time and effort into, this is just something I plonked out in less than a day with no editing based off a prompt I saw on a forum which I no longer get notifications for. What I'm saying is there needs to be more people and fewer algorithms on the internet. At least then we know who is responsible to saying, yeah, this thing is worth looking at and can therefor send them letters about how we're going to eat their parents.

It's hard to tell an algorithm that it's parents would be delicious.

(If you can't tell. I'm making a joke here.)

4218770

It's an odd thing. The first thing I wrote on my own that got on the feature box was also something I wrote out in just a couple hours with minimal editing...Maybe we're lucky, maybe we're good, I don't know, but this is pretty good, either way.

Can't wait to see FlutterSpike, SpikePie, DashSpike, AppleSpike!

a story where spike gets to treat everyone else how he's treated by the in the show? count me in.....

4218152 fun fact. In the world of BDSM it's the sub that has the control. It's the sub's responsibility to themselves to establish the limit of what will be done. The dom and sub together have to come to an agreement about what they will get out of the relationship.


4218770 Good story so far; even if you don't intend to continue it.

4218770
4218944
It's a Spike Harem fic. Those usually get featured within a day or two.

Hmm... so Fluttershy would basically be a Mistress alongside Spike, eh? Intriguing! Though I'd assume this is the part where we go into the rape and mind-break stuff.

Oh joy. This is gonna be interesting.

Well, A good possible set up for a future Magic Duel and a rather funny take on Dragonshy, I suppose, coming from subbie Twilight, but I'm rather curious as to Celestia's plans, because Spike's 'mental health and ascension readiness' report confuses me, because it either means Spike is sending Celestia reports and knows the plans for Twilight (Meaning Celestia plans WAY in advance) or there are plans for Spike to have some sort of dragonic ascension.

:trixieshiftright:Color me curious...

Well that is a interesting turn that i didn't see coming, But when I think of it I can Shy switching between sub and dom (with Spike still always being at the top tho lol). But who couldn't see Spike ordering Shy to punish Twi (it would play on both of them, Shy being dom over another pony and Twi being sub with one of her best friends owning her with her true master watching everything) But first comes first Spike needs to break her then show her the fun of having someone under her lol.:moustache::twilightblush:

4219474 well more like a sub Mistress with Spike still raining over her. But having a head mare will come in handy when breaking all the other girls. It will be funny to see her switch between sub and dom at the drop of a hat if Spike wants to step in or watch his pets work lol. I wonder how Dash will handle it when her oldest friend is doing everything to break her so she can be a pet for her master lol.:moustache::rainbowhuh:

4219519 I am with you there, I wonder what she is plotting. It would be interesting if she is trying to groom Spike into being a immortal so he can be her Master (sometime people that are in power like the switch of roles and becoming sub of something that is higher to them lol). I do want to hear the mental reports they have on Spike, I wonder what they say about him.:moustache::trollestia:

This is so good and interesting! Awesome how this is just clop, but clop with a plot:rainbowlaugh:! See what I did there:raritywink::facehoof:!

But seriously. Can't wait to see how far you take this. And I'm with Blood Brandy, what you do with "Magic Duel" and Celestia plans for the future should be real interesting:pinkiehappy:.

Keep up the good work!:moustache::twilightsmile:

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