I am a bit confused....they are talking about Celestia trying to wield Magic. When has that happened?

“Not all rulers are monster, after all.”

Yeah, good one. Look who is talking.

Diadem watch him.

Watched

and while recovering the Element of Magia

Qué? Te has colado!

It is me! Your most disliked reader!

7218584
Disliked? For what?
Also, Thank you for pointing that out. I'm going back in to fix it. I can't believe I didn't catch these. Damn you, exhaustion! You have me so tilted!

Derp. Also, this answers why she was hurt. She was rejected by Twilight's Element of Harmony.

7218599 There's been virtually no mention of Spike, so far. Any spoilers you'd be willing to give on his whereabouts?

Thou knew where Twilight Sparkle had gone…and thou didst tell me.

Admittedly, I'm not too familiar with olden speak, so I'm not sure if this is necessarily a spelling mistake. But I honestly thought "didst" was the word for "did", and in "I did this". Is there another one for "didn't"? If so, I don't know it. If not, I apologize.

We’re at war, and while recovering the Element of Magia

Magia? Did you mean "Magic"? I can only assume so, since you use "Magic" throughout the rest of the story.

7218611
He will appear, I promise. He shall return from his "adventure" soon and then the awkwardness shall begin!
Because, ya' know. He's going to want answers.

7218617

I have looked into this. I originally had it as "dids't", I believe, but between my editor and I, the fix I made was to go with "didst". If anyone can find this out 100%, then I will change it. For now, I'm unsure.

But yes, I meant "Magic". I've gone and corrected it. Still can't believe I didn't catch that one.

7218629
Tch, you know how many times I've messed up my own spelling even after having triple-checked my work? Things slip, even with the best of efforts. No worries.

7218611

It WAS mentioned that he was also out searching, I believe.

I rather expect that when he finds out, he's going to demand that they take him there, and he likely won't come back.

7218617 didn't would be "didst not" aye.

7218599 But since when is she hurt? Last chapter is when Rarity and the other returned from the Badlands...was she hurt back then?

Bueno, discutimos bastante en el último capítulo.

7218639 Like I said, I wasn't sure.

7218643
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
But seriously, I haven't quite decided 100% on what will happen once Spike learns that Twilight is alive and located. A lot to consider there.

7218651
Please. Is that really it? I'm going to kick google in the face.

7218654
Mmmm it was Chapter one or two, I think? Going to Spoiler this for those who haven't read the first few chapters and are looking through comments. Just in case, ya' know? The scene at night when she was discussing Luna's night. There was a whole snippet in there. "This time, there was no physical manifestation to cling to and believe that she was still near. The closest thing she had nearly killed her this afternoon, disappearing moments after rejecting her. She was sporting fresh bandages from the recent change her doctor made, assisting her in healing as quickly as possible. Her injuries were mostly near the neck and torso, her left wing singed a bit near the end of her feathers. She had no one to correspond with to express her feelings and those she would have love to talk to were gone to the borders, searching for the friend that they had lost to her judgment."

And you were never hated by me, my friend. People think of things in different ways. Different ideas and solutions. I respect your opinions and I do keep them in mind.

7218689 Oh, no wonder I did not remember!

Not much has happened on this chapter, really. We will see what happens next.

At least my biggets issue is solved...though its consecuences will still matter.

Always a treat to see this story updated.

She had not believed that the Elements of Harmony would lash out at her so violently.

It's what you get for destroying the bonds between people yet again, Celestia!

7218689 I mean, Spike could be a part of the reconciliation process. He wasn't there for the whole banishment thing, so he could be the most easily forgiven by Diadem, and can at least hold a conversation without it turning into an angry spit-fest.

I'm also interested by your take on King Sombra. Is this the pony-version of Wicked, where Sombra was just misunderstood? Or is he lying? Hmmmm...

7218689 didst is did, didn't is a contraction of did not, therefore didn't becomes didst not.

Search for guides to archaic English. Didst, doth, dost, doest, doeth are all old forms of do.

Similar guides exist for you, I, we, me, us, etc. They will explain when to use thee, thy, thou, thine, ye, mine, etc. A lot of folks get faked out by them, don't feel bad. :)

It's always good to see a great story return. The time waiting is well-worth it. Keep up the great work my friend

MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

When you have time of course!

Ok who here thinks Luna is gonna go with the mane5 and have a deep talk with twilight and also look a town that loves the night

7218747

His dark chuckle echoed around them. “Isn’t that what starts it all? Pretty words and devious lies?”

7218713
Yes, I know its been quite a few chapters. I honestly didn't expect it to take this long.

7218728
Its always a treat to see you enjoying it! :3

7218732
Thank you! Will fix that!
Yes....Yes.... Your illogical ways are known! Tehe!

7218747
Hello darkness, my old friend.

Sombra is a complex pony in my opinion. My own background for him is wrought with reasons for him to become the evil, sadistic, dark magic wielding pony he is in the show. But will he be good for Diadem? Bad for her? We will find out soon!

I don't think Spike would do anything for the Royal Sisters once he learns of the truth behind Twilight's disappearance. He was still a kid, as an adolescence whose purpose was finding his missing mother, refusing to believe she could be dead, he would be mad, I'd think. BUT! This is still speculation! He might just want her to come home and be with their friends again.

7218782
Some of the stuff I searched for gave me really crappy answers. I'm going to go into looking for more, but thank you!

7218808
I really love reading your comments! I'm glad to know that you're still enjoying the story!

7218827
This chapter was actually cut short, the next chapter already has some meat to it, so there will be more soon!

7218879
I love to hear everyone's thoughts and their guesses on what will happen next! I hope you'll keep reading to see how it turns out!

7218899

Her stomach eloquently ended the tirade of thoughts as it grumbled loudly. She flattened her ears as she sighed. “Breakfast first. Then ponder about the weird King thing.” She muttered as she climbed out of bed.

Glad to see she has her priorities straight.

Awesome chapter, keep up the good work.

Wow, you weren't kidding when you said that the next chapter would be out sooner than the previous, bravo!
So did they ever find Cadance and how can Shining still be captain of the guard? Guy should be a drained husk seeing as Celestia and Luna were cocooned for a year? Be surprised if he could still use magic after being drained that long.

7219126
AHAHAHA
I'm crying. That is one of the best responses I could have hoped for! I'm surprised that you are actually the first one to comment on that line!

7218967

Here is some quick copy/paste info then. :)

http://homepages.wmich.edu/~cooneys/tchg/lit/adv/shak.gram.html Seems to be pretty helpful, especially the table on conjugations.

From another site, which straightened me out on the thee vs thou thing a while back:

Thou:

Used when talking to a person who is the SUBJECT of the verb.

Example - Thou art true and faithful.

Thee:

Used when talking to a person who is the OBJECT of the verb.

Example - I beseech thee, merciful Lord.

Thy:

Used when talking to one person. The word after "thy" should begin with a consonant sound.

Example - Honour thy word, son.

Thine:

Used when talking to one person. The word after "thine" should begin with a vowel sound.

Example - Honour thine ancestors, son.

Ye:

Used when talking to multiple people.

Example - Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

7219134
A part of me wants to answer you, I really do, but I think that would be in spoiler territory.
I can say that there is a lot of backstory in the aftermath of the wedding. I might throw a few interludes/extras in to show some of that. I'll be talking with my editor about that with the next chapter.

7219153
Wow! Thank you so much!
I will review and revise my usage of these sometime tomorrow. I'm all out of editing juice today, but thank you so very much!

I love the way Rarity is portrayed in this fic. Most people suck at her characterization because they only take into account her attraction to fashion and design, failing to build more around her person.

This fic on the other hand makes Rarity a more influential part of the mane 6, for example confronting Celestia like that with such confidence and eloquence while defusing her friends' anger takes a lot of character and it was portrayed perfectly in a way that I know that she has class and elegance but also a heart of gold, and that her friends are the most important thing for her.

It reminds me of the story 'Second Chances' In which Rarity confronts Celestia about her true intentions with Twilight. Swift, elegant and confident, seeing Rarity portrayed like that is not something usual nowadays.

Keep writing like that, while I mentioned only Rarity here, I love the way most characters are presented. It's amazing seeing such depth and introspective in this story, like Sombra's backstory (who I may add is my favorite villain).

Keep up the good job. It's always worth the wait for every wonderful chapter.

Ohhhhh yessss sweet sweet karma. How I love it so....

Luna’s night began to bleed into light as Celestia’s son rose up on the horizon.

Celestia has a child!

She had not believed that the Elements of Harmony would last out at her so violently.

"lash"

I saw some other mistakes, but these bothered me the most.

Diadem should not feel anger towards Spike or Cadance I feel. Those two didn't much walk out on her. Spike possibly, but Cadance was locked up and suffered as well for a mistake. If anything, I feel Cadance should be the one to seek reconciliation with Twilight.

7218629
"Didst" is archaic for "do", quick Google search gave me the answer. So in a sense Luna is telling Celestia that she was told about Twilight being banished. Adding a "not" in there should clear it up. "Thou didst not inform us of Lady Twilight's banishment dear sister."

7219135 Really? People have no imagination.
Love this story, keep up the good work.

This is hands down one of the best exiled story's I have ever read, and I read baseicly every good and not so
Good exiled story I can find. but out of all of them this one seems to blend scard twilight, misunderstanding
Mane six, and some thing you see far to litte it feels hartbroken celestia, the best halving just enough to really
Get a felling for this world but not enough that twilight comes of as a winy antihero wannabe, the mane six
Come of as anoying to the reader for not understanding But not enough to make them just unlike able ass
Holes, and celestia seems jenuinly hart broken, oh one more thing thank you thank you thank you for not haveing twilight run two her friends and rejoin the group emedently that is just painful to read.
So there you go those are some of my resons why this is one of the best exiled twilight (because let's face it when have you read a exiled story that's not about twilight) story's I have read. Ten out of

7219172
To be honest, the reason why I chose Rarity over Applejack was in part because of my fiancé.

He sees Rarity as a stuck up horse, but I see an artist who is extremely passionate about her work, with elegant dialogue and a hoof in politics. She not only strives to achieve her goals, but she also works to help raise her sister and is like a mother to her, and she works tirelessly to help every one of her friends.

The mane five "leader" to me could only be Applejack or Rarity. With the circumstances of Diadem's home, I found that Applejack would be more stubborn about everything -- Changelings included-- but Rarity would analyze it in a political way once she realized that the city ran on a completely different governing system than Equestria. The city's officials had been protective of Diadem and Rarity recognized that as status. Applejack saw a frightening creature that kept her friend away from them for so long. From the planning side of this story, it only made sense to go with Rarity.

7219176
I love karma. She is a wonderfully, awful temptress.

7219180
*Kicks the computer*

I can't tell you how many times I corrected the sun/son mistake. At least 7 times today.
Freaking auto correct hates me in Microsoft Word. Agh!

And for Cadence, there is a lot unexplained. She's not happy with anyone right now. But that would be getting into spoiler territory. Spike did walk out, but Diadem's feelings for him are sprinkled in the chapter where we meet the twins.

7219184
Haha. I was very surprised to be honest. I thought that there were going to be more comments about that line! Hahaha.

I'm quite curious, why did you choose to name Twilight Diadem?

oh how I hope this story don't have a sad ending. I hate sad ending but I love this story. Doesn't help to see Twilight my favorite pony(Luna to cant forget her, don't want nightmares tonight lol) being banished

P.S. Love the story so far(only a few chapters in and hooked lol). Keep up the good work but don't over work your self, cant rush perfection.

7219273
The renaming process was difficult because there was nothing that really made me say "YES! That's so the new Twilight!" I went from bad assed names like Star Blade, Dark Star, Dusk Blade, etc., to elegant names like Andromeda, Nova, Galaxy Star. Absolutely none of them screamed "new Twilight" to me.

Diadem is a leader. She is a fighter unafraid of killing in a world of kill or be killed. She's still compassionate. She still works hard to carve her own place into her new home. Then, I began to think about objects that could represent her. A gem felt too Rarity-ish. I began to google things that were related to her status as a "clan princess". I thought about a crown. Then I began to think about how Twilight isn't just the center of attention in the series, but like a guiding light in the darkest of times. She is a staple of her people. She shows how much she cares through the dedication and ruthless way she will fiercely protect her home. To me, it showed that she was the hand of the leader. She was his "shining gem". Put it in the eyes of Nereus, the Ki'rin leader, and I saw a father who loved his precious gem of a daughter and thought of her as his one and only princess.

Diadem fit once I began to meld these points of views together. The touch of the headpiece only solidified that.

I hope that's actually a satisfactory response. Once I named her, and started the story, I found the name a bit strange, but in a world of foreign names, policies, and lifestyles, it didn't seem so strange.

7219323
I love to hear these kind of comments! I'm glad to know that you're hooked and since summer is here I'm going to try to push out as many chapters as I can! Keep an eye out for the future chapters!

I do not have the ending in mind 100% yet. I know the gist of it, but I don't know how this is going to work out in the end. The story tells itself after a certain point.

7219343 oh I will keep an eye out you can bet on that and ya after a certain point the story can take a life of its own but still don't over work yourself I have seen a few people do just that to make others happy and end up burning them self out so just keep an eye on that and keep being awesome.

UPDATE!! Woooo! This is a great chapter. It gives an insight into what may come with Sombra, and how big Celestia's mistake has cost her. Keep it up! Onwards!

7219375
I am sorry to see that you feel like you aren't getting the payoff.

I'm actually still in a world building state. I know that Eight chapters in, its really hard to see it, especially with more and more scenes in Equestria, but it has to happen or vital stuff would be missed. I'm trying to get both sides of the story in, and I haven't found the balance yet it seems. But, if you drop the story, I at least want to thank you for giving it a shot!

7219383
I will do my best!

7219237
Cadance not being happy with anyone I think would help her find common ground with Twilight. They were friends long ago and if anything, Twilight's actions would have led to Cadance being found earlier had she not been banished. Twilight and Cadance have not wronged each other. Luna could be tossed into that bucket as well, but she is too closely tied to Celestia and it has already been shown Twilight holds animosity towards best princess.

7219434
The thing is: Twili--*Ahem* I mean Diadem has no idea who knows what. Once she was cut off from Equestria, she is left with the impression that no one bothered to come after her. She has suffered. We've seen a small bit of it, but to her, no one even bothered to come looking for her. The only real measure she took to actually "hide" would be using her magic less and less.

As an exile, she is afraid.

Luna had no part in Celestia's decision, and Dia knows that. What she doesn't know, is that Celestia hid her banishment from her sister, the mane five, even her family. Cadence was trapped and her anger will be more towards the fact that no one could tell the difference. No one could see that it wasn't her. She cannot bring herself to hate anyone, but she will be a bit hurt.

7219331
That does make sense, thanks.

please tell me you wont have luan strongarm twilight politicaly?

Awesome, seriously loving this chapter. I can't wait for more but alas I fear I must.

Most off the errors I came across which were two or three seem to be correct or already pointed out. So great job with this.

7219461
Then hopefully Diadem can realize Celestia wronged a lot of ponies when she learns of the princess's deceptions. If she learns that or is willing to listen to the messenger could be a big if depending on where you want to steer this story.

7219487
I am so, so, so happy to hear that! I have really been worried about pacing. I felt like I might have been going too slow.

7219494
Hmm. I'm actually not sure how you mean. Strong arming is a new term for me.

7219514
Thank you!

Everyone she ever met never put it that way, that she was thrown away.

This sentence is super awkwardly written. So much so that, reading it made me misunderstand it multiple times. While I don't think it's overtly incorrect (it may be, but I'm not certain), it absolutely needs to be rewritten. Consider something more like: "Nobody had every put that way before, she was thrown away." or "Everyone she'd ever met had put it differently but, he was right, she was thrown a way."

“Not all rulers are monster, after all.”

This, I can guarantee, is incorrect. You need to make sure that both of the nouns are either plural or singular. Some possible revisions:
"Not all rulers are monsters, after all"
"Not every ruler is a monster, after all."
"Rulers don't have to be monsters, after all."
"Not all rulers are monstrous, after all."
Etc.

I'm a fan of the story. You've got a great premise and the characters are pretty good. Just continue working on your overall mechanics (grammar, word choice, sentence structure) and you'll be fantastic. Keep up the good work.

i sense a shit storm coming, good thing i have a Fallout Vault 2 hide in