• Member Since 6th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen January 27th

Aelthya


Just a girl who loves to write.

Comments ( 1029 )

Nice to see this up again, already looking forward to the next chapter.

and the next chapter celestia realizes she's an idiot? cause seriously no one shows that part and someone needs too. someone needs to show the scene where celestia realises she screwed up.

4546603
I'm glad to know that people were waiting for the posts! I am sorry that it took so long. Due to my grandmother passing, I have not had much time to actually think of my story. Instead I was grieving and a bit resentful at a few personal facts that I couldn't handle at first. Getting over it and finding my grounds again, I've been able to work on this and if it weren't for my editors and proofreaders, I wouldn't have made the changes that were needed.


4546613
It will not be immediately, but there will be a part where Celestia realizes she done goofed. That I can guarantee! :scootangel:

4546648 Oh, this now-cliche idea... It has potential, but it's always squandered... for example, I've never seen a version in which Celestia realizes, on her own, without being info-dumped on, that she goofed... I've seen this idea done in Naruto fanfictions, to a point that it's become ridiculous.

4546613
Well to be fair, Twilight is acting like an idiot too, she attacked Chrysalis more than once without any proof that she is impersonating Cadence and the way she acts just makes her seem insane.
And it is not as if Twilight has never overreacted before as there was that one Smarty Pants incident so from the perspective of everypony that is not an changeling, Twilight just became crazy and commited treason(attacking an princess).

Will Rainbow Dash be beating anybody up in this story?

4546699
Possibly. But to say much more would be to give it away.
:trixieshiftleft:
:trixieshiftright:

4546682
Though I have read my share of Fanfictions, I have yet to see one depicting what you're describing, however, I am going to do my best to have this go the way it's been pictured in my mind. Haha.

Oh man. This is really great. Please update again asap!

I'm sorry for your loss.
I love what you have done with this chapter

Haven't read the story yet but I have a small suggestion: changer the cover pic. Dozens of other stories use this exact image and there's no shortage of other badass/dark Twilight pics.

4546740
I have already started Chapter one, so after my sifts at work I'll be typing up the rough draft of it then send it off for review. :twilightsmile:


4546772
Thank you.
And I appreciate the comment! :twilightsmile: Hopefully, this looks like a step up from the original.

4546718 Indeed, Boss! Needs more Celestia and Mane6 (Twi excluded) angst!

4546695 yes and it's not like she hasn't been right before, nightmare moon incident. celestias willingness to brush twilights concerns off is by far the more stupid action under any scale you put it. any actions resulting from her ignorance are her fault.

This shows promise, keep up the good work

4546780
I have noticed that the picture has been circulating quite a bit since I began using it at the artist's approval. I am not sure if I will change it soon but perhaps later on I will. :twilightsmile:

4546976
Thank you very much!

not sure what to exactly think here to be honest........... sounds like it could be godo but her banishing twilight seems....... well it seems more likely that she would imprison twilight before anythign else. that or cast a spell onf cadance to alleviate tiwlight's paranoia.

Its a little hard to read with everything bunched up the way it is.

May I suggest spacing everything a new paragraph is introduced and when someone talks?

4546937
The difference is that Celestia already knew about Nightmare Moon and was already expecting Twilight to find the story about Nightmare Moon.
While in here, she only sees Twilight acting like she was insane without any proof that Cadance is an changeling.
...Though i will grant you that Celestia should have believed Twilight a little bit, as she was already aware that Canterlot was under threat, she just had no idea what kind of threat it was, and the idea that an alicorn could turn evil is not that far fetched if Nightmare Moon is anything to go by, so she could have at least tried to investigate to see if Cadance was evil considering that her student was one of the mares that took care of Nightmare Moon and Discord, and yet despite knowing that Canterlot was under threat she never even considers that Cadance starting to act like a bitch might mean she has been replaced by a changeling or that she is starting to turn evil like Luna did.

I look forward to seeing how this will work out.
Chapter 1 please!

Editors! Go go go!

:pinkiegasp: The story's back! :pinkiehappy:

Twilight getting banished makes more sense here than it did in the original (if I remember the original properly...)--from any other POV excepte her own and Chrysalis's she'd come off as axe-murderously insane with jealousy. I don't know if the Canterlot Invasion is still intended to go off like normal, but I would dearly love to see Celestia's reaction to realizing that Cadance is an evil mind-controlling impostor, and that she just completely or almost completely ignored and alienated the only pony that tried to do anything about it.

Are you going to do a time skip again, or will you continue from approximately where the chapter ended?

4547387
I think I'm going to do a time skip once more, however, there will be plenty of information throughout to piece together what happens in the time she was banished up until the start of Chapter one. :twilightsmile:


4547099
I will definitely consider that! I didn't know it'd be difficult to read simply copied like it was. :twilightsheepish:


4547196
I am working on it now! :pinkiehappy:

Yeah, it is kind of hard to read.

An example of what I am talking about would be;

Her words stung Twilight like a slap in the face.
“I am sorry, my student, but it must be done.”
“No…no…”

it should be;

Her words stung Twilight like a slap in the face.

“I am sorry, my student, but it must be done.”

“No…no…”

4548214
Alright. I fixed that. Is it better?

4548238

Much, Much better

Really glad to see this back. Hope to see a next chapter.:pinkiehappy:

so how often is this going to update? because i really want to see how everypony reacts when they realized just how badly they fucked up. also, should this be in the Accusation Fic Collection?

4547071 Indeed. There is also the fact that Cadance was 'hurt' and yet if Celestia actually LOOKED, there was no damage to the room, or even the floor Cadance was standing on, while also a simple check would see that Twilight didn't cast any magic in that room except entering with Teleportation and she doesn't know any combat spells at all to do that kinda damage.

As for the banishment, that was a sudden jump for something 'minor'. Heck, Twilight made the entire town try to kill eachother over a doll, and all she got was a stern talking to and a frown. :facehoof: for Twilight to get banish, she would need to do something much much MUCH worse.

And with Twilight being this focus on it, Celestia doesn't at all actually humor Twilight and listen for once? Twilight would not go off the deepend for no reason, there had to be SOMETHING wrong to have set her off, but Celestia doesn't seem to care at all what that is.

All I see here is just another extreme to get Twilight banished, but all the good ideas were taken by other stories so had to put some half-ass excuse here instead. :facehoof:

4548453 i am not quite THAT critical about it.

Wow. I must say I approve of the new prologue. Much more powerful.

4548453

Erm, the assertion that Twilight doesn't know any combat spells is false - as we have seen in the show itself, she is perfectly capable of spamming beam attacks that, when juiced up enough, can tear up the landscape something fierce. Doing damage to a single pony (or killing it) would be beyond trivial for Twilight, if she actually got in the right mindset for a homicide.

And what Twilight did wasn't minor - for all intents and purposes Twilight attempted regicide against a princess of Equestria. While we can only guess as to Equestria's laws in this instance, I can assure you that the typical punishments for an assault on a monarch aren't very pretty at all.

Indeed, Celestia even gave Twilight a second chance here - she already assaulted "Cadence" once, in front of a crowd no less, and Celestia was still willing to let that slide. You can bet that no normal would-be assailant would enjoy such lenience. It's only when Twilight ignored Celestia's plea to stand down and went after Cadence a second time (with more success this time, as it appeared to everyone), after multiple attempts to start a conversation, that Celestia took a more drastic measure.

The Smarty Pants incident isn't even close - no one suffered any apparent harm from that and Twilight actually stood down once the spell was dispelled, and -importantly- she lacked any malicious intent. Here she demonstrated willingness and intent to continuously go after and hurt, perhaps even attempt to kill, Cadence. There is clear malicious attempt and the willingness to carry it out. The two incidents aren't even in the same ballpark based on the results.

A banishment may be harsh, but consider for a moment how dangerous Twilight actually is, if she ever decided to go after someone's hide. She is a teleporter who can, literally, end soemone's life in the blink of an eye if she chose to (either with her attack spells that burn through solid stone or telekinesis that could easily twist someone's head off in less than an eyeblink considering the power she has displayed with it) - and Celestia had every reason to believe Twilight was tittering in that direction. You can neither contain nor impede Twilight, unless you saddle her with a 24/7 overwatch from either Luna or Celestia - all it takes is one lapse of judgment from Twilight and deciding that "Fuck it, "Cadence" dies now!" and ten seconds later that thought may well have become reality.

Twilight, in the mindset Celestia isn't entirely wrong to assume her to be in from her limited POV, is absurdly dangerous. There are only so many ways you can deal with someone like that and ensure that she won't be a threat - and Celestia chose to send her far away instead of striking her down. And even that's a dangerous move on her part which assumes Twilight won't go down the deep end enough to simply make her way back and finish what she apparently was set out to do, "banishment" or not. Considering Celestia imagined she sensed from Twilight the same sort of darkness she had felt from Luna - the kind which made her sister attempt genocide on a global scale - she is justified being paranoid.

---

Of course cooler heads may have prevailed here-, but both Celestia and Twilight were in the wrong here. Twilight's approach was clearly irrational and she kinda painted herself there as an axe-crazy mare on a mission of persecution - if she had been calm enough to think, she would have realized she actually had Chrysalis in the bag after that little transformation the changeling displayed in front of her - we know Twilight can transfer her memories to others from the Discord incident, so all it would have taken is showing her memory of "Cadence's" transformation to Celestia, and presto. But seeing she was hurt, angry, afraid and confused ... well, we got what we got.

Likewise, Celestia was probably too worried about the potential damage Twilight could do at any second (remember, if Twilight actually makes an attempt at Cadence's life, she may well be powerless to intervene before it's already over, considering Twilight can literally teleport over in one second, and snap Cadence's neck the next) to give proper thought as to why - clearly she was under a great deal of stress as well, and she was handling what might as well be an emotionally ticking time-bomb with the death of her niece -her own family member- on the other end of it. It likely was a situation she felt she had to resolve right now - because every second she drags it out is another Twilight might use to decide to go after Cadence again after all, this time for good.

Yes, so much grief could have been spared if they just had the chance to sit down and talk about it, but when both parties are acting under stress and consider the other one to be blind/delusional ... well, given the circumstances, this isn't all that unrealistic of a scenario.

4550458 if you get technical it depends on what kind of pony she is trying to kill overall. a fellow unicorn or a pegasus, probably. but an earth pony is another story. far more durable and powerful in the physical department, the question is if tiwlight cvould use magic to cause them significant harm.
and then there is the question of if she could stop someone like applejack, who is probably her earth pony equivalent, easily one of the strongest earth ponies in the show, as rainbow dash is likely one of the strongest pegasi.

4551452

There is nothing particularly special about earth ponies that would stop Twilight from killing one in a blink of an eye. Except for most being reasonably sturdy from doing lots of hard work and manual labor, but that's not going to help anyone here, as I imagine she would hardly try and physically subdue them. Though amusingly enough, and contrary to what you would expect from a scholar, Twilight has always displayed good to excellent physical condition - from carrying Tom on her back (which has to be a few tons) to placing fifth in running of the leaves, which is something of a feat in a farming town full of presumably sturdy earth ponies, to doing quite well (better than AJ in fact, who got tricked/overpowered) in hoof-to-hoof combat with Changelings, to having greater endurance than Cadence when they were ferrying Discord's golden throne around. For whatever reason, clearly she hasn't neglected keeping herself in shape.

Not to mention they are absolutely helpless once you levitate them off the ground, same with pegasi with just holding them in place. Just slam them in to the earth a few times afterwards. They are absolutely no threat to her and are generally helpless in front of her.

Beyond that, just the raw strength of her TK is ridiculous - she could probably compress any one pony she wants in to a baseball-sized ball of leaky meat, if she went off the deep end. In the Mare Do Well episode, assuming a pony height of ~1.5 meters, she levitated roughly 150 000 tons of concrete to get the broken dam back in to place, and that's without accounting for added pressure caused by the onrushing river she would have to push back to get the damn pieces back in place. She could levitate an aircraft carrier with that amount of force applied ... even a fraction of that is going to murder a pony and leave them flatter than a pancake (or with a simple snapped neck, no need to get dramatic for the sake of it), no matter how strong or durable they are.

The beam attack she lobbed at Chrysalis' reflection down in Canterlot's caves vaporized stone after rebounding off the mirror walls and striking the cave floor at her feet, leaving half a pony sized indent in the floor. If she actually hit a living creature with that same beam, she would boil their blood and cook their flesh, more or less vaporizing them instantly.

If you want to get fancy beyond that (not that Twilight particularly needs to, but it never hurts to have options when you are feeling particularly cruel and innovative), she could always crush some organs with TK, reverse the flow of their bloodstream or teleport a rock or a needle or whatever else is at hand inside someone's brain, or teleport to a space occupied by her target (if what happened to CMC's ball is any indication, they would get ripped apart by the resulting matter displacement), use transmutation to turn some parts/all of them in to solid matter or use some of her own mindrape spells, or reverse gravity on them. Weather magic is a go as well, so she can likely pull out lightning/ice and whatever else she wants if she improvises a bit. She also knows how to shield herself (which, in her alicorn state in battle against Tirek, is strong enough to leave her completely unscratched after being punched through a mountain - at that point, you could probably throw a nuke at her and she wouldn't feel it. Even scaled down to unicorn levels, that's going to be pretty close to functional untouchability).

Unicorn magic, especially that of Twiligh, is scary as all hell if you forget morals and simply try and come up with all the ways you could kill or inflict harm using it. With how strong Twilight's magic is, if she ever felt particularly murderous and developed a sudden taste for a mindless, bloody rampage she could cut a bloody swath through throngs of enemies with her TK and teleportation alone. Just from what she has displayed in the show, if she ever felt the need to seriously go all out, killing being an option and all, there are very few beings in the show that could survive even a moment against her (and those certainly don't include paltry things like AJ or Rainbow).

Celestia would be completely justified fearing Twilight going down the deep end, because the potential carnage she could cause is massive.

Sometimes I think the creators of the show haven't even realized just how crazy powerful they have made Twilight by having her do the things she does ... but then again the destructive potential of Twilight is hardly the focus of the show (unless it's time to fight Tirek :rainbowwild:), so the mind-boggling amounts of force she throws around aren't exactly a concern. Place her in your typical grimdark scenario though and take off the gloves ...

4551640 lift does not equal crush dude, it never did.

put it this way, an earth pony has so much strength that it seems a norm that they can shatter stone, some far more competently than others of course. their bodies are naturally able to withstand their own body's aiblity to cause destruction.
likely a more powerful variant can take even more punishment.

meaning that earth ponies are likely the species most capable of consistent destruction of all the kinds. if even weak ones can crush rock and break down walls then they are a force to reckon with.

4551720

There is no real difference between those, all it amounts to is force being exerted - the direction you exert it in and how you apply it to an object doesn't change anything in terms of force available. When levitating, you would generally push UP (to keep it floating) and <insert direction>, for controlling which way the object goes. For crushing, you would simply push from opposing sides (or one side, for presumably double power, if you were simply grinding them in to the ground) - in either case you are applying the same force from two (or more, if situation calls for it, though I imagine there aren't many situations it would) vectors, making the actions functionally identical.

Besides, we are talking about Twilight specifically here, not your run of the mill unicorn. Who, besides her Telekinesis, has numerous other ways to hurt and/or kill someone, some of which I outlined that I could come up with at the drop of a hat, based on just the abilities she has displayed in the show. Your run of the mill unicorn probably wouldn't present much of a threat to Cadence either, but Twilight does, which is kinda the point in this case and is why Celestia would feel pressured to act.

And while I don't dispute that earth ponies are generally likely to be tougher (though strength is hardly exclusive to them - Rainbow has displayed bigger strength feats than Applejack, like kicking straight through three trees for example, and I'm pretty sure AJ actually hasn't shown anything that would trump Twilight carrying Tom around. Big Mac pulling a house easily bests all that though), as far as fighting goes they are the bottom of the totem pole among the three races - there is a reason why all of the Guards seem to be composed of Pegasi and Unicorns (aside from Crystal ponies, but they only have one type, so you make do with what you have) and why in the Hearth Warming tale both Unicorns and Pegasi were shown abusing the Earth ponies - realistically, there is not much they can do to either race in a direct fight, as assumed higher physical strength and higher endurance are kinda rendered null and void against flight or even basic TK.

Flight is obvious, and with TK you can simply levitate the earth pony in question in air, walk to its side while it flails uselessly and stab it in the side or do practically anything else you want. Floating TK blades attacking from multiple sides would devastate them. I have nothing against Earth ponies and against many other races they would probably be fine, but they are ill suited for taking on their winged and horned cousins, as their particular advantages don't translate to tangible benefits in the type of fight they would face against unicorns or pegasi.

Regardless, we are talking about Twilight specifically here (also known as the most potent unicorn Celestia has ever seen, with the feats to match considering what we have seen other unicorns display compared to her) ... and an earth pony attempting to truly fight her would be like a rugged and strong but unarmed street thug trying to charge a Marine in full combat lodaout, guns and all, who also has the passage towards him mined and booby trapped. With a teleporter strapped to his back. "Fight" isn't quite what you would call that encounter, and even adding half a dozen more thugs doesn't really change the equation much.

4551961 problem is that while tiwlight is the most powerful, it seems unlikely that she would be completely outstripping evyer other unicorn. there has to be unicorns that can match her powers else there would be no unicorn schools at all. just as there are earth ponies able to match the apple siblings, such as maud, and those able to rival rainbow dash, like many of the wonderbolts especialyl spitfire.

another problem is that we have rarely seen someone use telekinesis directly and offensively against a living opponent, short of tirek and he simply used it to throw tiwlight. i think it is likely that if a earth pony really flexed theri real muscle they could escape most telekinetic restraints. there is a strain to using telekinesis after all, and an earth pony moving around in wild and complex motions likely increases that strain further, especially if they try to restain their strength. basically a unicorn holdign a pony would have to focus all their strength on it, likely removing their aiblity to levitate weapons. even twilight was rooted to one spot while moving the ursa minor.
reason i say that is that unicorn telekinesis creates a field of energy around the target. the field can be disrupted with sufficient force. and earth ponies have a LOT of force.

with rainbow dash, speed is one factor you have to take into account. another is that with the hoofwrestling, you would have to realize that applejack would never, EVER use her actual strength in that situation. she would risk breaking her friends arm over a stupid competition.

biggest evidence i can provid for these ideas is that their strength is magically produced. in other words their power comes from magic coursing through theri bodies and, specifically, through their hooves. if it were born purely of physique, then that is one thing. but it is canon that their strength also largely comes from magic.

4552046

While I have no doubts that there are other powerful Unicorns around (Twilight's own brother is one, for example), Twilight kinda is the strongest one - at least as so far as Celestia has seen, and that includes a rather mind boggling amount of unicorns over who knows how many millenia, and she has the cream of the crop passing right through under the nose thanks to her School for Gifted Unicorns that she is the patron of. (She's probably the strongest Alicorn as well, seeing as she was entrusted to reign in and control the power of all 4).

Twilight's true strength lies in her versatility though (not to say that she's lacking in raw power, but that's not what truly makes her special) - most ponies have an affinity for spells pertaining to their special talents and they rarely venture out of their respective fields (or might find it difficult to do so, or rather - specific spells come easier to them), while Twilight has no such inherent bias - all of magic comes equally easy to her.

Besides that, she also seems to posses an ability to pick up spells from simply watching others perform them - whether thanks to being the Element of Magic or simply a natural, I don't know, but there it is. She seemed to pick up teleporting from Nightmare Moon, and Sombra's dark magic after only seeing Celestia do it once. All other spells, up to and including time travel, take her a minute or less of skimming the formula from a book. If other unicorns were like her, there wouldn't be schools for magic at all :P There are bound to be other good ones of course, but insofar as we know, she is the top in a way Apples or Rainbow have never been revered among their own races.

Well, Apples at least - Rainbow is probably more special thanks to her ability to perform the sonic rainboom, which is pretty much a legend ... though it had to originate somewhere. Celestia and/or Luna mucking about in their younger days?

And true, we have't seen much of offensive Telekinesis, but that kinda goes hand in hand with there not being much combat or conflict of the physical kind in MLP in general (not that kind of a show), so much of anything only has utility everyday applications (for a given value of everyday). There have been what, 4-ish fights in MLP: FIM as a whole? (And only the Tirek and changeling ones came to actual blows. Still, Tirek's TK throw was exceptionally powerful, as was Twilight's shield for stopping it - she actually ended up embedded in rock from it ... which means absurd amounts of force being both exerted and tanked. If you threw a battleship against such a solid rock mountain, it would simply crumple like a tin can without leaving much of a dent).

Still though, an Earth pony wouldn't really be able to break the hold - after all, strength needs leverage to be applied against anything, and when you are being held floating in the air you have no leverage to exert any pressure against the TK hold. Which is why I said they are ill suited to fight Unicorns or Pegasi - their strength doesn't really have room to come in to play. That's why I suggested as levitating an enemy as a combat tactic for your average unicorn (obviously not Twilight, with her dam levitating strength she could lock up anyone tighter than a statue if she was going for simple immobilization) instead of simply trying to hold them in place - doesn't give the earth pony any leverage to work with.

And indeed, Twilight was rooted in spot while levitating the ursa, but Twilight has actually gotten progressively stronger as the series progresses. During the start, a single short-range teleport (see her following Applejack during applebuck season) seemed to require a second or two of intense concentration before she could pull it off.

By the time Crystal Empire rolled around, she could spam rapid succession teleports with no visible preparation time or recognizable strain, while doing a song and dance routine. Then there is her teleporting her and 3 others with her while runing from the dragons over a distance that had to be at least several kilometers (went from a forest to no forest being even visible anywhere), though that took a bit of a prep.

Likewise her TK - she went from straining with the Ursa (overall a few hundred tons most likely), to fixing said dam in the Mare Do Well episode, which was a huuuge leap in ability. Though to be fair, she did more than just levitate the Ursa - she also levitated the water tower (a considerable number of tons when full) while milking cows at the same time as keeping the Ursa suspended midair - meaning lots of raw power coupled with amazingly delicate control at the same time (seriously, milking cows ...), while generating that music using the wind that put the Ursa in sleepy mood ... then levitated the whole procession over a distance that had to be several kilometers, for her to deliver it all from Ponyville town hall to however deep in Everfree the den was.

And all those actions were performed out of line of sight - meaning she had to be mapping the whole area magically as well, from the cows inside the barn to the Ursa's den to all the trees to avoid smashing the bear in to them while levitating it ... that was a pretty impressive display of multi-tasking (and multi-casting) over a prolonged period of time over a pretty large area.

Control wise, we have seen her handle from several hundred objects at once (all the books in her library) to what probably had to several thousand individual objects, when she cleaned out like half the orchard at the same time in applebuck season, levitating all the apples at the same time off the trees and in to their respective containers.

All in all, her TK is pretty hax and possesses both great deal of strength and amazing precision, both being exert-able at the same time. Granted, Twilight is Twilight and your run of the mill unicorn probably isn't anywhere near capable of doing that (seriously, Rarity was actually pulling an apple cart instead of using her TK to pluck apples like Twilight ... and you could bet she wouldn't touch that harness if she could help it :rainbowwild:), but one on one an average earth pony probably isn't going to do well in combat against your average unicorn (Hence why they were bullied during the split tribe times). Twilight herself ... like I said, unarmed thug vs a fully combat loaded an teleporting specnaz agent.

As for Pegasi, that's harder that Earth ponies no doubt (maneuverability plus innate weather control magic), but still - Twilight has caught Rainbow by the tail before (Lesson Zero), meaning she can catch just about any pegasus. And she still holds an insurmountable mobility edge thanks to teleports. Regular unicorns could be in for a fight though ... which again ties nicely in to Hearth Warming and both tribes picking on Earth ponies and taking whatever food they needed, while fighting among themselves).

And while it's really not canon that Earth ponies are stronger thanks to some sort of innate magic (that's pretty much a fanon invention since people often feel the need to throw earth ponies a bone to make them seem more "balanced" with the other races, even if the reality would be less fortunate if racism still existed in Equestria), I can get behind that idea readily enough, though I imagine it would apply to all pony tribes.

Which would also explain why Twilight has always been exceptionally strong physically compared to what you would expect from a bookish unicorn, or can bounce back in hours to minutes from having a piano dropped on her head and having a couple of her bones broken, while Rainbow (a very potent Pegasus) took a few days to get out of hospital ... while in real life you would spend a week or two nursing a broken bone. She simply has so much of it that it's leaking through in her other aspects - she might have been an Alicorn in the makings all along :trollestia:

Oh gawd, I SO wanna know what happens next! I specifically want to know what happens after Celestia realizes that Twilight was right... Can't wait for the next chapter! :heart:

I have a lot of problems with this piece, but it has some potential.

You need to split up the massive paragraphs, first of all. Walls of text do not make for good/fun reading.
Secondly, you need to put more effort/reasoning behind Twilight being banished so immediately. Celestia is astoundingly out of character, and the explanation for the banishing feels wooden at best.
Thirdly, the whole "blindness spell" bit was silly. Chrysalis wouldn't reveal herself so blatantly, either.

Until these are fixed, it's going to be very difficult to take this story seriously.

This is a great hook! I can't wait to see where this goes! Follow!!

Interesting....
I will give it a chance.

Now I must look for similar fic that have Twilight been exiled but she forgive them all but doesn't want to come back to Equestria even when it is in danger. And have power that surpass her former mentor.

Oh yes please.

You have me hooked, well to be honest you had me at your cover art. That shit is gorgeous.

But please write more and write swiftly.

this is most intriguing. so basically its like queen bug face did not send twilight to the caverns and allowed events to take its course. interesting very interesting :trixieshiftright::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftright:
i want more

This is a great story so far! Can't wait to see more of it!

Side note: Dafuq are with these comments? :rainbowhuh:

4566294 What comments are you talking about?

I agree with other commenters that Twilight has been an idiot here. Behold:

"Twilight, explain yourself.”
She shook her head at Celestia.
“There’s nothing to explain to someone unwilling to listen.”

Even if you don't think they will listen to you at the moment, better to put it on record, so maybe they can figure it out later when they've cooled down or gotten more information, or hell, just so you can say "I told you so!" There is literally no reason to deny giving an explanation when someone specifically requests one unless you literally don't have any time and breath available, or unless you know that they are already aware of the explanation or something. I mean seriously, Celestia asks "Why did you beat up Cadance?" and Twilight DOESN'T say "I didn't beat her up, she's just a shapeshifter pretending to be Cadance and also pretending to be injured." That, coming from a pony that LOVES to explain and normally jumps at the chance to do Celestia's bidding, just smacks of "Plot Necessity".

Anyway. The original never caught my interest, but despite my complaints, I am not turned off of this story.

So, when's the next chapter?

more soon please more.

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