Bonus Chapter 1: Pinkie Buys a Carpet
Pinkie Buys a Carpet
-ooooooo-
The interior of Lab Supplies and Carpet Emporium looked much like many shops in Ponyville. Light yellow painted walls with wood framings round the windows and large beams acting as support, a shop counter, a dull green floor. The owner clearly had done little in the way of altering the interior. In fact, except for the odd display of lab equipment, the store was pretty barren, even sterile without a hint of dust or hair.
From behind the counter Panic Station stared at the entrance pensively. Of course, this wasn’t unusual. Panic Station spent most her time staring at the door to the ship and fretting about what might come through. I mean, Almost 95 percent of the time, well technically, 94.66 with the 6 repeating, it’s a pony or ponies in need of a carpet that come through that door to either by or browse. However, there’s a 3.33 with the 3 repeating chance that it’s a pony or ponies in need of lab equipment. And that leaves a one in fifty chance that it’ll be a customer here to return something. Panic Stations ears flopped down around her head. She tried to make returns as painless as possible, but her nervous eagerness to make sure the customer was pleased usually dragged things out until she was screaming, crying, hiding under the counter, or some combination of the three.
Still none of those option where particularly frightening to the lavender mare with emerald green eyes, a short, orange-brown tail and mane tied up in a braid that dangled to the left side of her head. Panic Station glanced nervously at her braid. Loose hair could be dangerous, you know… you could be running from something and then the wind could blow your hair into your face, and then you wouldn’t see where you were going then you’d trip and crack your head on the rock or get caught by whatever was chasing you… No, what scared her was that something out of the ordinary would burst through those doors. Ok, so, statistically… 100% of the time whoever comes through that door is here for shop related business… But we’re down to our last carpet and won’t have any more for the rest of the day! Panic Station’s lips pulled down into a frown as she glanced at the rolled up, yellow carpet behind her. So unless a pony specifically needs a canary yellow carpet, there’s a 96.66 with the 6 repeating chance that it’s going to be some pony who’s upset with the store!
Beads of sweat began to form on the young mare’s face. And what if an anomaly shows up! What if someone or something comes through that door and wants to kill me?! I mean… we live right next to the Everfree forest! A pack of timberwolves could just wander into town and start eating ponies! Panic Station gulped. And I smell particularly tasty to timberwolves! I mean… I’ve done studies…
‘SLAM!’
“AH!” Panic Station yelped as the door to the store flew open.
“AH!” Pinkie Pie yelped as she threw open the door to the store.
Panic Station instinctively ducked behind the counter and covered he head with her forearms.
“Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH!” Pinkie Pie cried as she galloped up to the counter and peered over it. “PANIC STATION, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!”
Panic Station parted her arms and looked up, peering into Pinkie’s sky-blue eyes with her fearful emerald colored ones. “Ma…me?” she stammered out.
Pinkie nodded her head up and down vigorously. “I HAVE A CARPET EMERGENCY!” she shrieked.
“Ca… carpet emergency?” Panic Station uttered. “Have… have all the carpets in Ponyville come to life and started wrapping themselves around ponies?! Smothering them to death in their constricting threads?!”
Pinkie’s desperate expression turned panicky. “Can… can that happen? Can carpets come to life?”
“Well… maybe…” Panic Station said. “I mean… there’s been studies…”
Pinkie pointed to the canary yellow carpet rolled up behind Panic Station. “That carpet hasn’t come to life.”
“EEP!” Panic Station cried as she dove to the other side of the counter. She placed her forehooves against the side of her head and began trembling as she leaned against the front of the counter.
Pinkie peered down at the quaking mare with a quizzical expression. “What’s wrong?”
“What if…” Panic station swallowed, “… what if the carpet is trying to lure us into a false sense of security?”
Pinkie glanced at the carpet and shifted slightly away from it with a fearful expression. “Can they do that?” she whispered.
“Maybe?” Panic Station said. “I mean… can we risk it?”
“Well… I mean… I do still have my carpet emergency,” Pinkie said as she joined Panic Station in huddling behind the counter.
Panic Station looked up at Pinkie “Is it worth being smothered by a carpet?”
“Well, you see, some stallion walked into my store and asked if the carpets matched the drapes.”
Panic Station gulped. “And did they?!”
Pinkie gave Panic Station a worried look and shook her head. “No!”
“Oh no! That is an emergency!” Panic Station declared.
Pinkie nodded her head up and down. “I know, right?! Some pony might see that the carpets don’t match the drapes and get confused!”
“And if they get confused the might become irate!” Panic Station added.
“And if they become irate, then then they might get angry!” Pinkie said.
Panic Station’s eyes widened as her pupils shrank to pinpricks. “And other ponies might see that the mismatching carpets and drapes and THEY might get angry!”
Pinkie gasped. “And then Sugarcube corner will be full of angry customers!”
Panic Station put her forehooves up to her mouth. “And then they might get so angry that they set fire to the drapes and carpet!”
Pinkie gasped. “And then no pony will be able to get their baked goods!”
Panic Station slowly moved her hooves up to the sides of her head. “And then there’ll be more angry ponies!”
“A town FULL of them!” Pinkie declared.
“And then they might riot!” Panic Station cried.
“And then all of Ponyville will be destroyed!” Pinkie shrieked.
Panic station swallowed hard and slowly raised herself back up. She placed her forearms on the counter and peered over it at the yellow carpet. “Okay, so… we need to make sure that carpet won’t smother us…”
“Maybe one of us can go up and poke it?” Pinkie suggested.
“But what that’s what it wants us to do?!” Panic Station cried as she looked down at Pinkie. “It could be waiting for one of us to touch us and that’s when it wraps itself around us!”
“Oh-no!” Pinkie replied. She dwelled on the dilemma a bit. “Well… what if I went outside and got a long stuck to poke it with?”
Panic Station gasped. “But sticks are covered in bacteria!”
“Uh… I can wash my hooves when I’m done?” Pinkie suggested
“It’s too risky!” Panic Station declared.
Pinkie puffed her lower lip out in a pout. “But I really need that carpet! It’s the right color and everything!”
“It is?”
Pinkie nodded her head up and down vigorously.
Panic Station pursed her lips. “I have an idea!”
“Oh goody, goody, gumdrops with whipped cream on top!” Pinkie said as she clapped her hooves together. “What is it?”
“I’ll grab a burette and poke it with that!”
“YAY!” Pinkie cried. “Uh… you’re going to poke it with a hat?”
“No! Not a ‘berr-ay’ a ‘burette’! It’s a long tube that you use for controlled dropping of chemicals.”
“Oh… how is that better than a stick?” Pinkie asked sheepishly.
“Well, it’s fresh out of the box, so it’s sterile.”
Pinkie puffed out her lower lip. “You mean it can’t have children?” she asked sadly.
“NO!” Panic Station huffed out. “It means it doesn’t have any germs on it, or anything…”
“Oh! Okay!” Pinkie said cheerfully.
Panic Station gulped. “There’s just one problem, though…”
Pinkie frowned, “Yeah…?”
“The door to the back is past the carpet…”
Pinkie depleted the oxygen from the space in front of her with a loud gasp. “Hwuuuuuu! So what are we going to do?!”
Panic Station began to shake. “I don’t… I don’t know…”
Pinkie tapped a forehoof against her chin thoughtful. “Hey! What if I distracted the carpet?” she suggested.
“You’d do that…? For me?” Panic Station asked hopefully.
Pinkie nodded. “Totally! I’m great at distracting.”
Panic Station smiled weakly and nodded. “Alright… on the count of three…”
“One…”
“Two…”
Panic Station gulped. “Two and a half…”
“Three!” Pinkie cried enthusiastically as she jumped up.
“WHAT?! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Panic Station screamed as she broke into a gallop, she quickly rounded the corner and headed towards the carpet.
“Hey carpet! Look at me!” Pinkie cried as she waved her forearms about in the air. She place a hoof against her snout, giving it a more pig like appearance and began to flick her tongue in and out of her mouth rapidly. “Lalalalalalalala…!”
Panic Station quickly dashed by the carpet and threw open the door it was resting next to.
The shop went silent.
“Uhhh… are you okay back there?” Pinkie asked.
“Ya… huff… yeah…” Panic Station replied from the back room. “Just… puff… catching my breath…”
Soon a long, transparent tube that with a pipette like attachment tentatively and shakily emerged from the back room. It slowly approached the carpet.
“There! You almost got it!” Pinkie said excitedly.
The burette inched forward.
“Almost… almost there…” Pinkie said.
The burette millimetered forward.
“Uh… just a little more…” Pinkie said as she knitted her brow.
The burette micrometered forward.
“JUST POKE THE DUMB CARPET ALREADY!” Pinkie shrieked.
“WHAAAA!” Panic Station quickly thrust the long tube forward and jabbed the carpet.
The carpet did nothing.
Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief.
“Is it… is it safe?” Panic Station asked.
“It’s safe!” Pinkie assured.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely!” Pinkie said.
“I won’t be smothered by a carpet?”
“Noper!”
Panic Station slowly exited the back room and positioned herself back behind the counter.
“I’d like to purchase that carpet, please!” Pinkie said with a smile.
Panic Station smiled back. “That’ll be 34 bits, please!”
Pinkie dug a fat coin purse out of her mane, opened it, and counted out 34 bits. “Here you go!”
Panic Station cheerfully collected the amount then stood on her hind legs grabbed the carpet in her arms. She tilted the carpet onto to the counter.
Pinkie helped the lavender mare load the canary yellow carpet onto her back.
“Oh wait!” Panic Station said. “Do you need a receipt?! You know… in case anything is wrong with the carpet.”
Pinkie grinned. “Like it tries to smother me?”
Panic Station’s expression turned nervous. “Uh… well… I’ll just give you a refund if it does that… please don’t bring it back if it comes to life.”
Pinkie chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s fine. Besides, I’m sure you won’t forget me.”
Panic Station’s face suddenly went serious and she tilted her head down slightly, casting dark shadows over her face. “I never forget!”
Pinkie giggled. “Okayee then! Have a nice dayee!”
Panic Station waved to the pink mare as Pinkie opened the door to the store and bounded out into the bright, Ponyville day.
Panic Station smiled to herself. Great! That was the last carpet for the day… She frowned. Wait… but there’s still a 94.66 with 6 repeating chance that if anypony comes in, they’ll want to buy or look at a carpet….
Panic Station flinched as the door opened up revealing Ponyville’s resident baby dragon.
Spike looked at Panic Station with a somewhat desperate look on his face.
Panic Station pulled a face at Spike as if she was simultaneously apologizing and wincing at the same time. “Sorry… just sold the last one to that pink mare who is happy beyond all reason. Uh… what’s her name…” The mare frowned. “Oh, Celestia, do I have amnesia?! No wait, it’s Pinkie Pie!” the mare said with a smile.
Spike pulled his lips out in a panicked grimace and bolted out the door.
“Huh…” Panic Station said to herself as the dragon ran off. “That’s the first non-pony that’s ever been in here… I’ll have to completely redo my calculations…”
End Bonus chapter 1
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Justice3442 · 5.3k words · 367 9 · 7.1k views
- Justice3442 · 1.7k words · 162 20 · 3.8k views
- Justice3442 · 1.1k words · 201 16 · 3.8k views
- Justice3442 · 3k words · 94 2 · 2.1k views
- Justice3442 · 4.9k words · 192 10 · 3.8k views
- Justice3442 · 3.1k words · 87 11 · 2k views
- Justice3442 · 2.9k words · 329 8 · 5.3k views
- Kuairu · 3.7k words · 97 2 · 2.3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.148 seconds
Total duration
1,122 users online
1,658,326 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I want to huggle Panic Station but I'm afraid that if I did she'd have an adorable heart attack. And that would make me have a real heart attack.
4106729
Wanting to huggle her seems like a pretty appropriate reaction.
When I was thinking about her colors I decided to user pony creator to see what she might look like. The result is very hugable to me.
i445.photobucket.com/albums/qq180/Justice4243/PanicStation_zps783e02e0.png
4158827
It's actually two Monty Python Sketches, it starts out Holy Grail and goes dead parrot by the end.
How has Panic Station even SURVIVED this long?
And talk about the crazy leading the crazy.
4106776 Have Spike huggle her. He deserves it, and Obselescence has a blog post reasoning out how he doubles as a self-insert.
This is sound soooooo insane... but so insane... that... that is good. Please, do Panic Station appear more, yes?
4764407
Glad you enjoyed her. I would like to write a little something with her again at some point.
Station spent most her time staring at the door to the ship and fretting about what might come through.
Think you ment Shop.
It could be waiting for one of us to touch us and that’s when it wraps itself around us!”
Think you ment IT.
But other than that it was funny.
A Pie-eating competition... between dragons...
*All of Pinkie's family is messily devoured... except Maud... who eats the dragons... because rocks...*
5268035 DUUUUUUUUDE, you should try this hat stuff, it's pretty great~!!!
5268071 5268035 I hate you all.
TEEHEE!
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
2:2_2/9/2017
Why does reading what seems to the inner torment of someone feel so entertaining?
5088024 I'll do you one better.
This chapter has something of a Patch Adams vibe. Very nice.
Pinkie, stop playing on the panicky mare's insecurities.
There's no sport in it.
I suddenly feel less intelligent after reading this chapter.
That is neither a criticism or compliment.
I think.
See?!
Psh. Carpets coming alive and smothering you to death. One of the most stupidly impossible things I've ever heard.
Now towels though. You gotta be really careful with those fuckers. They have a better opportunity to smother you than carpets, since we dry our heads with them. That's why I dry off with one hand while holding a knife in the other. Drying off has been difficult since I started doing that.
Is Panic Station your OC? She's awesome.
8961467
She's in the sequel as well and makes a brief appearance (as a human) in Not Another Anon-a-Miss fic.
Yep! And thanks!
panic station is what twilight would have been