• Member Since 9th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 28th, 2017

Mustard Is Best Pony


MUSTARD IS BEST PONY. MUSTARD GOES WELL WITH ANYTHING. MUSTARD IS TART AND DISGUSTING ON ITS OWN.

Sequels1

Comments ( 116 )

This is rape:pinkiesick: I like it

*AHEM*

“Hang on a sec.” Spike sat upright for a moment. “You’re telling me that if I watch you and Big Mac have sex, and I like it, I’m going to have sex with…”

“Me.” Applejack grinned at him. “Ah’m ‘bout the toughest pony in town, so it only makes sense ah’d be the first to step into… ‘Unknown territory.’”

“… And I can’t talk my way out of this, huh?”

“Well, you can.” Twilight chuckled, looping a foreleg around Big Mac’s neck. “But I don’t see why you’d want to…”

NOT RAPE.

MUSTARD DOES NOT WRITE RAPE.

UNLESS IT'S REQUESTED OF HIM.

YOU'RE NOT REQUESTING IT, ARE YOU?!
MR. RAPE-LAY?

Well, that was hot in more than one sense of the word.

tilkau #4 · Feb 27th, 2014 · · 2 ·

This is not rape.

It is dubious consent, though.

Otherwise, I'm not sure what to say. Rather PWP-ish. I find it hard to care about any character but Spike, here.

4009586
'TWAS A REQUEST.

AND WRITTEN IN A SINGLE NIGHT - ABOUT 3 HOURS OF EFFORT.

THIS AND TWO OF MY OTHER STORIES WERE WRITTEN AS AN EXERCISE IN CREATIVIY; TO STRETCH MY BOUNDS AND DEVELOP MYSELF AS AN AUTHOR.

MY MORE SERIOUS WORK RESIDES ON AN ALTERNATE ACCOUNT; ONE THAT I SHALL NOT DIVULGE.

WHY, YOU ASK?

... THIS IS MUCH, MUCH TOO FUN.

I have the weirdest boner

Well this was hot. Although I don't care for it incredibly, it was a very interesting clop. :moustache:

This is in no way rape, nor of dubious consent, he had the freedom to leave whenever he wanted.
People are way too over-sensitive to the concept of consent.

4009884
THIS GUY
KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP.

I love the consensual semi-foursome happening right now. But now I wanna see some BigJack and Spilight action.

Or maybe throw Rarity into the mix? I wouldn't mind seeing her (or Fluttershy) moaning and loving every inch of Spike's cock.

Twilight would need to know how all three pony races react to dragoncock, after all. :moustache:

4010108
THE ENTRY WAS PLACED THERE WITHOUT MY KNOWING
CHECK WHO PLACED IT IN YOUR FEED NOTIFICATIONS AND INFORM THEM THIS IS AN IMPROPER ENTRY.
OR INFORM THE OWNER OF THE GROUP AND HAVE THEM REMOVE IT.
I FOR ONE CARE NOT, BUT I CAN SEE HOW THIS WOULD BE ANNOYING WHEN THERE IS VERY LITTLE ROMANCE BETWEEN THE GROUP'S FOCUS CHARACTERS.

Okay that right there... that was messed up:pinkiesick:

That was hot

I FUCKING LOVED IT,
BUT WHY IS UNDER RANDOM, PROBABLY CAME OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE THAT, BUT ANYWAY,
IF NO ONE ELSE IS GUNNA ASK ABOUT IT, I WOULD LIKE A SEQUEL IF YOU CAN TO THIS, PLEASE?
10/10
:yay::yay::yay::yay::twilightblush::twilightblush::twilightblush:

You know, I want to see more of this.

Maybe the CMC will take a little fieldtrip of their own into the wonderful forays of sexual activity!
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DRAGON FUCKERS!
And not to mention Rarity. I wonder how she'd react to his... endowment.

If I was Spike I would have looked at them before walking out the door and flipping them off on the whole way out. This would basically be the equivalent of my friends getting me a chick for a one night stand without telling me and then me finding out just before anything can happen. And I have a very basic rule regarding that. Unless I ask for that kind of help, fuck off should you even try it.

However, story is still well written so have a thumbs up.

This was really good, for the most part.

I'm not gonna necessarily ask for a sequel, but I would love to see more to this story, so to speak. The best kind of smut is smut with a good meaty plot to justify it, and I feel like rushing to the action or ending the fic immediately after the smut is a waste of potential. Try building up more! Tell us a bit about how Mac and Twilight got together! Tell us why AJ and Mac are so comfortable with each other and how far that comfort goes! Dig into the aftermath of the spontaneous sexytimes, and how it changes the relationships Spike has with the characters involved. Trust me, making the reader care about your characters first makes the sexytimes way hotter.

Keep up the good work otherwise!

--CG

Max

Its not rape... but i would have LOVED this if big mac wasnt involved, not sure why, but i just couldnt finish reading it, still a great story :twilightblush:

chapter 2, 3 and 4 when ?!?!?!!!:pinkiehappy:
oh and doesn't spike feel bad because he couldn't spend his first time with Rarity ??

This needs a few more chapters. Mainly because Twilight would want to find out if Spike is capable of cross-species impregnation.

Mr. Mustard y u always shouting :fluttercry:

Well, that was interesting but, I feel there could have been more on Spike's part.:applejackunsure:

Since it was his first time with a mare, you would think some tasting would be in order, or maybe another round with Applejack.:ajsmug:

I mean, he's a DRAGON!:moustache: And that's, APPLEJACK!:ajsmug:
Once is not enough.:trollestia: A turn with Twilight would have been nice, but I understand things were weird enough for Spike to not do that.:twilightsheepish: Twilight jumping him in the tub may have been likely though.:moustache::twilightblush:

Good Job, all the same. Keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

This was fucking hot. I need more of this.

More, dear God, please more!

4010474
4010396
I SENSE DIFFERING OPINIONS.

4010582
4010635
4010695
4011137
4011305
4012321
4012559

MUSTARD HAS SAID IT BEFORE AND HE WILL SAY IT AGAIN.
ONESHOT. THIS STORY IS IN THE ONESHOT GROUP. THERE WILL BE ONE CHAPTER AND ONLY ONE.

THIS AND TWO OF MY OTHER STORIES WERE WRITTEN ON REQUEST. THEY ARE, PRIMARILY, AN EXERCISE TO SEE IF I CAN DRAW READERS IN AND LEND THEM AN APPRECIATION FOR WHAT'S THERE, NOT TO FLESH OUT AN ENTIRE STORY COMPLETE WITH ARCS, DEVELOPMENT, OR ANY MAJOR CONFLICT.

CLEARLY I HAVE FAILED SINCE YOU ALL SEEM TO WANT SO MUCH MORE OF A ONE SHOT.

THANK YOU FOR INFORMING ME OF MY FAILURE.


4010693
4011624
THAT'S JUST LIKE...
YOUR OPINION.
OR WHATEVER.
MAN.

4012707 You take requests, do you not? I request that you continue this.

4012744
REQUESTS ARE JUST THAT - REQUESTS.
AND CAN BE DENIED.
AND, ON PRINCIPLE, I DENY REQUESTS TO CONTINUE ONE SHOT STORIES.
ADDING MORE TO THEM DENIES THEM THEIR NATURE.
THESE STORIES CAN AND WILL REMAIN ONE-SHOTS.
SHOULD YOU WISH TO ADD MORE TO THEM YOURSELF, FINE. GO AHEAD.

BUT NO. I WILL NOT ADD MORE TO ANY OF MY STORIES. THAT DEFEATS BOTH THEIR PURPOSE AND MINE.
WHICH IS TO WRITE AND BE ONE-SHOTS.

IN SHORT:
REQUEST DENIED.

P.S. I HANDLE REQUESTS IN SPURTS, AND I AM BETWEEN BLOCKS RIGHT NOW.
IF YOU HAVE ANOTHER REQUEST, MUSTARD WILL GLADLY OBLIGE COME THE NEXT BLOCK.

SO YOUR REQUEST WOULD HAVE BEEN DENIED ANYWAYS.

4012782
UPSET?
HOW AM I UPSET?
MUSTARD IS CONFUSED.
I WAS MERELY ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR OPINION OF THE STORY.
... WAT.

4012802
YOUR DOWNVOTE REMAINS.
I REMAIN CONFUSED.

4010695 u sir, know ur shit:pinkiehappy:

4012833
I AM BETWEEN REQUEST BLOCKS.
AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR REQUEST ANYWAYS.
PLEASE CHECK BACK WHEN I RE-OPEN REQUESTS, LIKELY IN ANOTHER TWO WEEKS OR SO.

4012707 Guess you're just too damn good for your own good.

4012871
MUSTARD IS INDEED GLORIOUS.
BUT AM I TOO GLORIOUS FOR MY OWN GLORY?!
I... I NEED TO GO THINK FOR A FEW YEARS.

Spike gave a soft groan as he stretched. His spine popped audibly, making him grin widely.

“Ah think that’ll do ‘er for today, Spike.” Applejack wiped sweat from her forehead with a soft sound, beaming up at Spike happily. “Yeh really helped me out today.”

“Nothin’ to it, Applejack.” Spike smiled down at the humble farmpony.

“Big Mac? Really?” Applejack seemed mildly surprised.

Somepony make it sto-o-op! :raritycry:

I know I shouldn't be expecting quality writing from the feature box, especially on a story like this but... :fluttercry:I really wanted to enjoy this one. :raritydespair:

4013102
I'M STILL CONFUSED.
WHAT IS RUINING YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THE STORY?

Loved this story! This was among many clop fics I ready at the same time. Haha, this story = my favorite catagory

HOLY BALLS MUSTARD, YOU GOT FEATURED AND SHIT!

YOU SEE THIS? I'M GOING ALL CAPS FOR YOU, BABE. :heart:

4013241
BAH.
IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN.
MY GLORY CANNOT BE CONTAINED! IT MUST BE FREE FOR THE MASSES!

On the subject of ONE SHOTS and making them MORE-THAN-ONE SHOTS... there are a few workarounds. Ya'll don't need to make another chapter... Ya'll need ta make a sequel.

BAM! There it is.

The story: Lacking.
The sex: Pretty fucking good, if you'll pardon the pun.
What I thought: How the fuck... why the hell... how did this get into the featured box? Maaan people like some FREAKY SHIT. But it was good. Good writing. Just what I expect from a Featured story, even if the subject and story itself is weird.

All in all; good job, Sir. :moustache: (woah spike what you doing on my post)

4013531
SEQUELS ADD TO THE ORIGINAL STORY, THEREFORE DETRACTING FROM THE UNIQUE QUALITY OF A STANDALONE PUBLICATION.
EVEN SEQUELS MAKE A ONE SHOT A MORE-THAN-ONE-SHOT.

THANK YOU FOR THE FEEDBACK NEVERTHELESS.

4013117
Let me use an analogy to put this point across better.
I'm sitting here, with my ass in the air and my back arched, and your story is attempting to fuck me with a limpdick. Like, all the movements are there, and it's certainly got energy, but somepony needs some viagra, and fast.
From what I managed to slough through, you've got a decent story set up here, but it's weighed down by some of the worst telling I've ever seen. I can't enjoy myself because it's just so damn frustrating to see all the flavor sucked out of a potentially juicy line, just because the author didn't put in the extra effort to load it up with something meatier.
Spike gave a soft groan as he stretched. His spine popped audibly, making him grin widely.
The first part gives you the entire scene in one blow, making the rest of this line absolutely pointless and redundant. I'm doing the literary equivalent of sitting here watching a dude struggle to get his dick up for the rest of this clause.
The middle part is decent, giving a nice visualisation, with something tasty for the imagination, but then you ruin the fun by jamming the whole thing down my throat and holding it there. I'll swallow it when I damn well please, thank you. Most stretches are quite satisfying when there's a lot of popping. We all know this. There's no need to say it. And for the love of all things good to not outright say that his spine popping "made him grin" widely. No it didn't. He did that on his own, *in response* to his spine popping. I honestly facepalmed upon reading this first line.

But I'm patient, and the synopsis looked good, so I thought I'd give the story a chance.

“Ah think that’ll do ‘er for today, Spike.” Applejack wiped sweat from her forehead with a soft sound, beaming up at Spike happily. “Yeh really helped me out today.”
The first part is great. We can tell that Applejack is speaking. Spike has obviously been helping her with something, and it's the end of the day. Not so much detail as to make the next scene a moot point, but enough that we can start to imagine what's going on. This is great.
The next part is iffy. It's not terrible, but the description "with a soft sound" sounds odd, and foretells of inexperience. In my head I'm now going "Oooh boy. This is NOT going to be pretty".
And the last part confirms my fears. First, beaming means to smile with proudness or brilliant passion. It's the pinnacle of 'happy' smiles. saying happily is not only gratuitous amounts of tell (which ruined the moment you had here, assuming it was salvageable) it's about as redundant as saying PIN *number* or Sahara *desert*. And—as if that wasn't bad enough—you had to have Applejack flat out say what you just spent two paragraphs describing. We already know he helped her out. She should just say thanks or something.

Then there was this:
“Nothin’ to it, Applejack.” Spike smiled down at the humble farmpony.
At first I thought you'd done something right, by showing Spike as taller than Applejack, which, I have to credit you for. On top of that, 'humble farmer' is almost relevant enough not to be considered a colorful name, but based on the rest of the story, I'm doubtful that you understood why this was right at all, and simply got lucky when looking for variety in your nametags. Names are mostly invisible in prose, so unless you're naming a character three or more times in a paragraph, it's best just to use their name.

4013117
4013651
As to why I continued on... well, I was looking for evidence that this wouldn't be as bad as I thought it was going to be.

“You gonna tell me what it is?” Spike chuckled, his after-work stretch done. He settled on all fours in front of Applejack, though he still stood about as tall as her.

Somepony pinch me; the author at least knows how to describe a scene.

Anywho, I moved on in the hopes that the good might outweigh the bad(against my better judgemet)

“Big Mac? Really?” Applejack seemed mildly surprised.
And you disappointed me again. The dialogue is great. Full of emotion, and context. But you failed to realize you'd gotten your point across, and started whacking your reader in the face with it.

So many errors in such close proximity. I just couldn't go on. However, I must apologize. My frustration led to a far less tactful or even helpful comment than I would have liked. This story does need a lot work, but I shouldn't have been so loud or whiny about it.

4013656
THAT WAS...
PAINFULLY INSIGHTFUL. THE COLORFUL ANALOGY DIDN'T EXACTLY HELP, BUT YOUR ANALYSIS IS SPOT-ON. I'M SORRY THIS STORY DOESN'T MEET YOUR STANDARDS OF EXCELLENCE, AND IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE THAT SAID STANDARDS ARE HIGH CONSIDERING THE STORY WAS IN THE FEATURE BOX.

... LET ME RESTART:

I NEVER EXPECT MUCH FROM THESE REQUEST-BASED STORIES IN THE FIRST PLACE. I WROTE THIS ONE OVER THE COURSE OF ABOUT THREE HOURS, UPLOADED IT, AND MOVED ON. THE STORIES I MAKE MEAN LITTLE TO ME, OTHER THAN THEY BRING ENJOYMENT TO THOSE WHO READ THEM. DISCOVERING SOMEONE DIDN'T ENJOY ANYTHING ABOUT MY STORY TENDS TO PUT ME IN A FOUL MOOD.

BUT YOUR JUSTIFICATION IS SOUND, AND THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER READERS WHO ENJOYED THEMSELVES. SO, AS FAR AS THIS STORY (AND ANY OTHERS I MAY MAKE) ARE CONCERNED, I'LL SIMPLY APOLOGIZE THAT THE STYLE DIDN'T MEET YOUR PARTICULAR STANDARDS AND MOVE ALONG.

4013699
Huh.

Kudos for actually getting the point of the comment, rather than just viewing it as hate, and good luck with your future writing endeavors.

Fucking brilliant.:moustache:

4013734 I think you were the one who missed the point of a comment :D

I don't think Twilight asked nearly enough explicit questions. And there was so many concepts and positions that Spike could have explored with those present. :rainbowwild:

Sweet fic, though. Most eye-catching. :derpyderp2:

And then Applejack finds out the hard way that dragons can breed with anything.

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