• Member Since 28th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Sunday

Brony kaiju soldier


A 22 year old Brony with Asperger's syndrome who enjoys ponies, kaiju, video games, history, animals and a few other things.

Sequels1

Comments ( 49 )

I know who is the next pony that Barb is going to have fun with.

6021905 It's Rainbow Blitz isn't it?

6021921 That is.... AWSOME!!!!! Those are the immortal words of Rainbow Dash and Kaz from Mighty Med.

Sparity probabilities were dead anyways.

6022503 And I know that if Kaz from Mighty Med met Rainbow Dash, they would get along perfectly.

6022569 Yeah, thanks and you are Godzilla fan? AWESOME!

Wow...not to put too fine a point on this but I am...rock hard right now. You did an amazing job with this story and you made it very un-incesty wheich is soemthing I can appreicate.

Comment posted by SuperGodzilla2030 deleted May 27th, 2015

Found this on my lunch break... dangit, why I gotta wait til after work?! :raritydespair:

Barb is hotness, but I always have such a hard time imagining Big Mac as anything but a stallion.

Hot story, man. The threesome was hot.

6025237 Yessss Im off, time for porrrrn :pinkiehappy:
and then video games :pinkiesmile:

This fic is pretty good. I personally never liked genderbent fics but I found this ons delivering with the plot being good so pionts to you for doing good on that. The sex I would say while not intense is well written and interesting.I would to give this a 9.6/10

6034898 I thank you for your opinion and the score.

6034923 no prob thanks for writing this.

On behalf of The Anti-Plagiarism Investigation Reports, I am sorry to inform you that an author over on Fanfiction.net appears to have ripped this fic off, as well as several others, and is claiming it as his own. We have created a file on this, which includes a form to be sent in to the Fanfiction.net admins to request the plagiarized fic be taken down.

https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/124913/134496327/1/Report-FFNID-6103139-HoTwi-My-Little-Pony-active-NSFW#134524744

This was not and really good.

Just three things that could be a bit better for future fics.
1.) Macareina and applejack seemed to be more of the focused then Barb was at points.

2.) And the oral sex seemed to have more detail then the other sex.

3.) And after the oral sex, the intercourse each time was on paragraph and was short and giving a time of 5 mins at one point made it really short and kinda pointless.

Other then those things this was great!

6053859 I'll keep that in mind for the future, thank you.

Comment posted by Shadows Reborn deleted Jun 8th, 2015
Comment posted by Brony kaiju soldier deleted Jun 8th, 2015

Before I read, what is "ass expansion"?

6077164 It's making your ass bigger through magic or other methods.

Took me a while to realize that this was Rule 63. And there's nothing wrong with Rule 63. In fact, it's one of my faves. I'll dive in and give you my opinions!

only to have it mended when Applejack came up to her and mended her broken heart by accepting an invite to go on a date,

Rule of thumb, try not to use the same word twice in the same sentence. Try to spice it up using synonyms.

"Ah can see 'im bein' over dramatic, but what kind of a screw up would cause 'im to do that to yah?"

I notice you're making the accents sound how they're spoken. Personally, I like to just write them as they are written.

Off to the side, Macareina could be seen walking up, starting to slowly untie the string holding her thin top, but getting distracted and aroused from watching the purple dragoness working her voluptuous hips on Applejack.

There's too many commas here. In cases like these, try to spread it apart.

Off to the side, Macareina could be seen walking up. She started to slowly untie the string holding her thin top, but she was getting distracted and aroused from watching the purple dragoness working her voluptuous hips on Applejack.

Stuff like that.

"Well, howdy, big sis. Whatchu been doin'?"

Beautiful wincest.

causing her to unwrap her tongue from the cock head

Cock head? Sounds like a rooster's head.

he fired everything he had into the lust craving dragoness' pussy, his load reaching deep inside her, finding its way into her womb, their mixed juices seeping out of Barb and onto Macariena's tongue.

3lewd5me

A single cloud floated in the sky above the sleeping trio, revealing a cyan furred, magenta eyed, rainbow maned stallion, with his red athletic shorts down and his white sports tank top pulled up, revealing his toned athlete’s physique. He had his hand against his cock, ushering the last of his seed out after he watched what had happened below him for the last ten minutes, with a perverted smile on his face.

Too much description on the figure, try to also write on what he's doing. Maybe sitting on the cloud? Hiding away? One simple paragraph is not enough. Well, not my part.

His name was Rainbow Blitz.

You rascal.

Also, there's a lot of space below that. A reason for that?

11/10 wood bang

6104331 Thanks for the input. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm still not where I want to be for writing, but I'm getting there. As for the space, I'll fix it.

I think you should've added something for when Dusk would be furious with Elusive for what he said to Barb. Better yet, have the other guys join in on this and beat Elusive up and make him apologize to Barb when she didn't even mean to burn his suit.

8714660
You're gonna see the repercussions of Elusive's actions in the future.

8714723
It's gonna be after the Blitzening.

8716000
And when are you going to finish that story?

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