Equestria's luckiest stallion is thrust into a very unlucky situation. The life of a single stallion and six mares as they defend their world from monsters from places worse than Tartarus... and the days in-between.
Sequel now uploaded. The Dead Stallion's Hand.
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Interesting, but I really didn't learn much from this, other than the name of the pony and that he's a Fortesque. Is he the main character? Then again, a setup is not necessary in the prologue. It just seems kind of empty, but that will be further based on following chapters.
As for 'Jack of all Trades', I'm very curious on how you're going to roll with that. I'm REALLY hoping you don't go down the dark path of this title.
Also, few typos, grammatical errors and such, like 'security were called' should be 'security was called. Security involves a singular unit or association, regardless of how many are a part of it.
The prologue is short, but you know how to make it seem like it's meant to be that short, so I don't feel like it disrupts my train of thought.
I'll be looking forward to more. :3
3913008
Right. Cheers, mate. I'll have to work on that. I plan on re-writing the series from Phoenix's perspective. The story will follow him. I planned on making it a tad more violent here and there, but not too much. Yknow? Like somepony getting a wound rather than Cupcakes. Thanks for the feedback though.
I've noticed a favorite Poison Joke affliction for Stallion OC's are them being turned into mares, and if it's a human in Equestria than they get turned into ponies(Except one where he got turned into some type of tall furry black creature with no mouth, nose, or ears.)
This is actually pretty good, bad early rates make it harder to get people to read it later on though. Kinda sucks considering this is a lot better than the rating suggests. It might have something to do with the way you seem to time skip a decent amount, but either way I'm still enjoying the story.
4473882
Yeah. I just couldn't think of anything too creative with that. Sorry. Hopefully, I did it well enough, though.
4473970
Cheers, mate. That really means a lot. I'm just trying to focus on the parts of the story that Phoenix himself would be involved with. For example, Phoenix isn't very athletic, so he wouldn't compete in the Running of the Leaves and he isn't an Element of Harmony, so he had no obligation to face the dragon with the Mane 6. If you think I should do this differently, just let me know and I'll try to let anyone who's still reading this to continue to enjoy it.
Got to say awesome story, hope to see more
4483619
Thank you for taking the time to comment. More will be uploaded as soon as I write it.
Is there a reason the ending is in italics?
EDIT:And is there a reason my 'writing' is in italics even though I didn't choose it?
EDIT AGAIN:WHY IS EVERYTHING ON MY SCREEN ITALICS?!?!(Excluding most of the chapter)
4527997
Sorry, mate. That was my bad. I missed some of the italic symbols I put in. Should be all fixed now.
P.S. I have not got a clue why the italics are spreading. Should we prepare for war on the italic menace?
4530342 DECLARE WAR!!! WE SHALL DEFEAT THE ITALIC MENACE!! FORWARD MARCH BOLD PLATOON!
4531425
They can take our text, but they'll never take OUR FREEDOM!!!!
awesome story, mate, can't wait to see more
4533171
I'm glad you're enjoying it, mate.
I really like how well you written your character and how is involvement in each of these episodes are not forced. In fact, I think it is very unique and different that you are trying to make him truly his own character and so on. I also like the little tidbits here and there about his past, making me curious and wanting more from chapters to read hahaha! But, I know I must wait like everyone else and really pleased to say I am happy to find this hidden gem of a story. I wish I could give it many thumbs up!
4597336
Wow. That means so much to me, thank you very, very much. It's nice to know that I'm doing it well enough for people to enjoy. I will reveal more of Phoenix's past, but only when the situation will call for it. I hope I won't let you or anyone else down when I do so.
(Gasp) [Read everything mind you.] The drama. Love it!
Huh....um.....that was...different.
4680370
Well, I hope that it is different in a good way. Still, I'd like to thank you for reading.
4680291
I was hoping for that kind of reaction. I was a little worried that I may have gone too far with it.
4681333 Bro. Two words. Anything goes. Just let your mind wander and don't doubt.
4681466
True enough. Thanks, mate.
4681491 no problem.
My god... You made a reference to death battle..... Yes!!
p.s. Love the story a ton also.
Only problem I have with your story is that your story has firearms in it. I don't like that just cause I don't think firearms have a place in really any mlp-verse. Cannons, sure Pinkie has one but not firearms. Pistols, rifles, shotguns, submachine guns and machine guns of any type have no place in mlp. I believe they take away more from a fight then they add to feel of said fight. Not because mlp has magic but because mlp has different races that may or may not have magic. Think of the potential tactics that a fighter that's not as magically oriented as say a unicorn fighter might need to fight against said unicorn fighter. However if you add firearms to the mix its just whoever shoots first and doesn't miss the kill shot wins. Not very much drama or suspense if you ask me.
OK my rants done. It's nothing personal, its just my own belief. Not a good enough reason to stop reading this story so im gonna keep reading it. Hell, you might even get fire fights right for mlp. I'll let you know what I think as the story goes on.
"...She thinks hates you..." What? I think ya got typo unless im missing something
I think ya got few typos. Sorry I would be more specific but I'm using a smartphone and its to much of a pain go and find them again. I do remember three typos though.
4731957
No, it's alright. I respect your belief on guns in MLP, and a part of me agrees that they seem a little out of place, but I got the idea from May the Best Pet Win. Rainbow references both bullets and tanks in the episode. Leading me to believe that they do exist in some places in Equestria. But, hey. That's just my opinion. Thank you for giving this a read.
4732511
I don't know how I didn't catch that. Thanks.
4733164
4733153 no problem and there are some parts of mlp I choose to pretend never happened
"You’ve never left me down in the past" I think you ment to have written let and not left
I like how you handle the musicals and "...start your ploughin’..." <insert bad sex joke here>
Lol couldn't help it.
4733422
I would have thought it would be a joke about bucking an orchard, but each to their own.
****Spoilers****
Interesting take on the cmc's marksNot bad. I just wish we got see Applejack in nurse mode
After reading the rest of what has been uploaded at this time and some thought about them, I have unfortunately decided that I must give you both a like and a fav.
May Sunbut and Moonflank have mercy on your soul.
4733722
Thank you very much. I can handle Phoenix. I think I can handle you, mate.
4734108 IT. IS. ON. lol
Um...little grammar thing there. Just pointing it out.
4739489
Thanks for that, mate. Hopefully, there are no more.
What the hell was that ending! I'm so confused, I should really watch Hunchback of Notre Dame, shouldn't I? Anyway, this was cute, I'm not always for shipping but this is fine. If it isn't rushed like some stories that I shall not name, it's fine. Still, Blueblood is a dick with a pussy.
SOAP
4821517
I think watching Hunchback would give you an idea of what I'm going for here. Plus, thank you for that. I was hoping that the relationship felt natural.
4821518
*Freezes with a plain expression*
4822747 Crap... um... UNSOAP!
4822777
*Remains frozen, but face changes to a strange smile*
He will react like this: "Oh... a god of chaos? OCTAVIA, GET ME SOME SICK BEATS!" Then awesome music plays and Pheonix will kick Discord's ass! Then he will sweep Applejack off her hooves and ride off into the sunset.
4926501
Is Phoenix really THAT badass? Maybe I'll make that an alternate ending. That's funny as hell, right there.
4926543 I bloody hope you do, but I get the credit! Plus... can I work with you on that bonus ending, I really want to improve my writing skills, and your's are so much better than mine.
4927089
Tell you what, maybe I'll make another story after this one's finished and make it about non-canon deleted scenes of The Jack of All Trades. They could be anything. Horror scenes, funny scenes, clop scenes, I don't know. Just a thought. But, if I do, I'll include that.