//------------------------------// // Old Friends And New Jobs // Story: The Jack of All Trades // by Lord Zalgo //------------------------------// A piercingly loud ringing shook Phoenix out of his sleep. He groggily looked around to see his house phone was ringing. He grumpily picked up the phone and put it to his face. “Ahoy?” Phoenix asked sleepily. “Phoenix, is that you?” A voice said on the other end, but her accent made Phoenix know immediately who was calling him. “Applejack? Why and how are you calling me?” Phoenix asked as his senses were slowly starting to awaken. “Pinkie gave me your number. Ah know its last minute, but Ah need to ask a favour!” Applejack said in a voice that was dripping with stress. It instantly caught Phoenix’s attention. “Alright, AJ, calm down. What do you need?” Phoenix asked, his drowsiness forgotten. “Ah’m swamped with mah chores and Ah can’t take Apple Bloom to school today. Ah can’t stand the thought of her goin’ alone! Please, could you take her?” Applejack pleaded. Phoenix looked at his clock to see that it was 7:30. ‘Well, it’s not like I’ll get back to sleep.’ Phoenix thought. “It’ll take about ten minutes to get to the farm; but yeah, I’ll take her.” Phoenix said calmly as he climbed out of his bed. “Oh, Phoenix, you’re a lifesaver! Ah can’t thank you enough right now!” Applejack said with a massive amount of relief filling her voice. “It’s okay. I’m on my way.” Phoenix hung up the phone and used his magic to get a black shirt from his wardrobe. After he buttoned it, he remembered that he needed to get his fedora back from Rarity that day. She’d approached him during the party on the previous day to tell him that she was washing and repairing it, as it was worse for wear because of his fall through the window. He walked out of his door, locked it and walked straight to the Acres. As he walked, a large gust of wind and a rainbow trail zoomed past him at break-neck speed. He panicked and took a detour towards an alleyway. Seconds later, he saw Pinkie Pie calmly trotting after the blur, which Phoenix assumed was Rainbow Dash. The bruise on Pinkie’s face was still present, which caused Phoenix to remember that he wanted to talk to her today. He decided that he’d talk to her after he was finished escorting Apple Bloom to school. Phoenix quickly remembered the way to the farmhouse and began to trot there to save time. After a few minutes, the familiar smell of apples reached his nose and his vision was filled with trees. He kept his pace fairly quick as he walked down the path through the Acres to reach the barn. When he reached the barn, he saw Applejack and Big Macintosh hard at work. Mac was the first to notice Phoenix as he trotted closer, so he nudged Applejack to get her attention. When she looked at him, he pointed to Phoenix, causing her to smile widely. “Phoenix! Am Ah ever glad to see you!” Applejack exclaimed. “A week ago, you probably wouldn’t have said that. You need me to walk Apple Bloom to school?” Phoenix asked. Applejack and Macintosh continued to work as Applejack talked to Phoenix, leading him to come to the conclusion that they really were swamped and not the largest amount of time to do it in. “Yeah, she’s over at the house. Hopefully, she’s gettin’ ready. School starts at half eight. If she’s ready, ya should get there with time to spare.” Applejack said. “I bet you wish you had some time to spare.” Phoenix said with a sympathetic smile. Applejack replied with a normal smile. “Eh, it’s gotta be done. May as well enjoy it!” Applejack said happily. Phoenix was taken aback for a second before smiling and walking towards the farmhouse. He turned the handle and slowly walked inside, looking for any sign of Apple Bloom. It was then he heard light hoofsteps that were pitter-patting down the stairs. He looked towards the stairs to see the filly in question running around doing a mental checklist. “Right! Ah’ve got ev’rythin’!” She exclaimed suddenly. “Good. Looks like we’re ready to go then.” Phoenix said. His voice seemed to make the filly jump as she looked at him. “Mr Fortesque? What’re you doin’ here?” Apple Bloom asked curiously. Phoenix shrugged. “Sorry, Apple Bloom. Your sister tried to get anypony to walk you to school and she could only get me.” Phoenix explained with a sympathetic tone. “Alright, then! Let’s get goin’!” Apple Bloom said with a large grin as she ran to the door. Phoenix quickly followed her so he wouldn’t lose her. She stopped running as they walked together through the orchards. Phoenix and Bloom were caught off-guard when a voice came from the orchard to their left. “Hey, Apple Bloom! You be good! Have fun, and remember: an apple a day…!” Applejack shouted from the orchard. Bloom smiled and responded. “…Keeps trouble away! Bye!” Bloom shouted back. “And you be nice to Phoenix! He didn’t have to do this favour for us!” Applejack shouted. “Ah will!” Apple Bloom replied. Phoenix and Apple Bloom kept walking for a few moments before Apple Bloom spoke again. “Thank you for takin’ me to school, Mr Fortesque.” Apple Bloom said gratefully. Phoenix let out a lone chuckle. “You don’t need to be so formal with me, Apple Bloom. Just ‘Phoenix’ will do.” Phoenix said with a smile. Apple Bloom smiled back and nodded. “So, which way to the school?” Phoenix asked the little filly. “It’s this way, down that path.” Apple Bloom replied. The two walked in comfortable silence and minor small talk until they finally reached the schoolhouse. They both saw numerous fillies and colts playing in the field outside of the school. Phoenix looked at the time to see that it was 8:10. “School hasn’t started, Bloom. Why don’t you go play?” Phoenix said. “Okay. Thanks, Phoenix!” Apple Bloom said happily. “You enjoy your first day back, okay? What time does your day finish?” Phoenix asked. “About three in the afternoon.” Apple Bloom replied. “Tell you what; I’ll be here to pick you up. Give your sister a bit of a rest.” Phoenix said with a chuckle. Apple Bloom giggled as she ran towards the field, waving at Phoenix as she did so. Phoenix watched her for a second to see if she would be okay, before looking back at the way he came and began to walk. Something caught his eye, however. A ‘help wanted’ sign in the window of the schoolhouse. ‘Well, I do need a job.’ Phoenix thought. He finally shrugged and walked into the building. He saw numerous desks lined up in columns and rows with a larger desk at the front of the room with a computer placed on top. At that desk was a mare with purple coat, pink mane and tail and a cutie mark of three smiling sunflowers. Phoenix’s heart flared for a second. “Cheerilee?!” Phoenix asked excitedly. Cheerilee instantly looked up and stared in awe at the stallion before beaming, running to him and wrapping him in her hooves. “Phoenix! It’s so great see you!” Cheerilee beamed as she squeezed him. “You too, Cheerilee. How long have you been working here? Why haven’t I seen you?” Phoenix asked her. They let go of each other as Cheerilee began to speak. “I moved back to Ponyville from Idahoof yesterday. This is my first day teaching here. I didn’t know if you were still here or if you moved back to Canterlot.” Cheerilee said as she sat back down in her seat and Phoenix took a seat near her. “No. I visited the old place a lot, but I never moved back. I did manage to put two criminal casinos out of business, I won so much. I then used those winnings to anonymously fund royal projects around Canterlot.” Phoenix explained. Cheerilee giggled. “If there’s something you know, its cards isn’t it, Phoenix?” Cheerilee asked fondly. Phoenix chuckled. Cheerilee then sent him a questioning look. “What are you doing here at the schoolhouse?” Cheerilee asked. “Well, I originally came to drop off the sister of one of my friends, because she was swamped with work. But, I saw a sign that some help is needed here. What’s the job?” Phoenix asked. Cheerilee was beaming again as soon as Phoenix mentioned the ‘help wanted’ sign. “It’s the role of student councillor. You could do that! Don’t you have a degree in psychology?” Cheerilee asked excitedly. Phoenix chuckled again. “I do have a degree in psychology and one in law. Are you sure I’d be good enough for the job?” Phoenix asked modestly and with uncertainty. Cheerilee waved her hoof dismissively. “Of course you are! I know your qualifications backwards, just like you know mine. I know your perfect for the job!” Cheerilee replied, her enthusiasm not wavering for a second. “Well, I only know yours right way around, but I get your point.” Phoenix smirked. Cheerilee simply groaned at the terrible joke. “So, when can you start?” Cheerilee asked. Phoenix thought for a moment. “How’s tomorrow? And do you have files on the kids? I’d like to know as much as I can about them if I’m gonna be able to help them.” Phoenix proposed. “Excellent! Hold on a second.” Cheerilee began to rummage around in her desk. Phoenix’s eyes seemed to drift to her flank as she wasn’t looking before returning to her head. ‘I think she’s lost weight. Not that she had much to begin with.’ Phoenix thought casually. Cheerilee finally re-emerged with a file in her mouth. She dropped the file on the desk and addressed Phoenix again. “This file contains a small profile of each child. Are you going to study it and come back tomorrow?” Cheerilee asked. Phoenix took the file with his magic. “Sure. Back here at the same time?” Phoenix asked to which Cheerilee nodded. “Great. I have to go now, Cherry. I’ve things I need to do today and your kids will be here any second.” Phoenix joked. Cheerilee chuckled and the two hugged for a second. Or two. Or five. “Look, everypony! The teacher’s got a coltfriend!” A young filly said loudly. The filly had a pink coat, a purple and white mane and tail with a tiara on top and no cutie mark. Phoenix and Cheerilee let go of each other and smiled as the children laughed. “He wishes.” “She wishes.” The two said at the same time, both of them chuckling as they did so. Phoenix made sure he had the file, and then began to walk out of the classroom. As he left, Apple Bloom smiled and waved, causing him to wave back. On his way back to town, Phoenix noticed Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash outside town hall. Spike was running around trying to pick up several scrolls, but he was hiccupping, causing flames to emerge from his mouth. Each time he hiccupped, any scrolls he was carrying became magical energy and flew towards Canterlot. And Pinkie and Rainbow were practically wetting themselves. Pinkie was about to speak as the laughter was subsiding, but both Rainbow’s and Pinkie’s attentions were brought to Phoenix as he walked to them and Spike sulkily walked away. “Hey, girls. How’re you doing?” Phoenix asked. Rainbow dropped herself from the cloud and walked in front of Phoenix as Pinkie bounced towards him. “We’re fine. We were just playing an awesome prank on Spike!” Rainbow said excitedly. “We scared him into getting the hiccups!” Pinkie said, still giggling. Phoenix didn’t smile however. He wanted to, but his eyes still drifted to Pinkie’s bruise. Pinkie seemed to realise. “Feenie, you don’t have to worry. I’m fine! I was just surprised, that’s all. Not the good kind of surprise either.” Pinkie said in a calm, sweet tone. Phoenix nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I hope Applejack gives Caramel what’s comin’ to him! If she doesn’t, I sure as hay will!” Rainbow announced angrily. “Sorry, Rainbow, you’ll have to get in line.” Phoenix replied to her. “I suppose. You looked like you were ready to rip his head off yesterday!” Rainbow said, but she sounded too proud of Phoenix’s actions for him to take the conversation seriously. “You say that like it’s a good thing.” Phoenix said with a raised eyebrow. Rainbow looked around and motioned Pinkie and Phoenix to come closer. When they complied she began to whisper. “We all know that Caramel keeps trying to control her, but I’ve heard that he cheats on her!” Rainbow exclaimed quietly. Pinkie gasped loudly while Phoenix’s jaw dropped. “What a mean, meanie pants! We have to tell Applejack!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I doubt Applejack will listen to us, unless we have solid proof. And even then, she may be too offended by us suggesting it that she might not listen to us.” Phoenix commented. “Well…” Rainbow interjected. Pinkie’s and Phoenix’s attention was brought back to her. “I’ve heard that AJ doesn’t love him anymore. I think she’s wanted to break up with him for a while. I think evidence of him cheating on her will give her the opportunity that she wants.” Rainbow explained. Phoenix’s expression became one of thought. Pinkie began asking Rainbow about how they’d get evidence, but Phoenix was already hatching a plan. It would require his old equipment from his time as a lawyer, but it seemed to be the only way he could think of. He’d catch him in the act. “Yo, Nick! You in there?” Rainbow said loudly as she knocked on his head. He was immediately brought back to reality. “I think I may have an idea about catching him in the act.” Phoenix said. Rainbow and Pinkie looked at each other before looking back at Phoenix with excited expressions. “What’s the idea?” The two mares asked enthusiastically. Phoenix simply scoffed slightly before replying. “Devil’s advocate.”