• Member Since 1st Jan, 2019
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Undertotem


Amature fanfic writer and a Wings Of Fire fan, making stories that I want to see so I do.

T

Greilyn, Azzy, Lunar, Valara, and Corgda Xandoo are kobold adventurers who works in an adventurers guild in the city of Ace Draco. They received a quest from their Guild Master named Kreylee, telling them that there has been a strange magical signature located far west of Ace Draco, in the Forest of the Forgotten. Their mission was to investigate the deepest parts of the forest, observe what caused of the strange magical signature if safe, flee the area if anything dangerous was spotted that they could not handle, and report back to the guild if anything was found suspicious immediately. Upon arriving to the scene, the adventurers looked for clues regarding to the strange magic. Unfortunately, one of them stumbled upon a sigil of a sun and moon, and when the group took a look at it they were then gone in the continent of Lacosta. Now they happen to be wrapped up in some conflict between what appears to be a tall dark blue horse and six very colorful ponies.


This is just going to be made just for fun, but that does not mean that I would not continue it. I honestly like the drawings of kobolds very much, they all look cute.

The art does not belong to me as well as the characters names. The art was made by SorcArts and the names are names given to them by other people. I'm just making some very interesting story with them being the characters.

Suggestions and feedback is appreciated. Enjoy reading!!
Violence and minor gore tags because their adventurers and such. IDK why I put romance, I might put some romance chapters if suitable, its just that I might suck at making it like a good love life or a cheesy one IDK. Missing tag for comedy. OC tag but not for me but for the creator of the character. Maybe a pony OC or someting.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 24 )

Celestia now thinks about how dangerous their power is

Now all they have to do is let the bard do all the talking and hope he dosent roll a natural 1

It should be of note that technically a kobold is the offspring of a goblin and a human. Like orcs, they possess a resistance to sunlight and various artifacts of Old, and tend to cover the morality spectrum in terms of alliances.

Comment posted by HowMuchWood deleted May 9th, 2019

9613181
If you search Kobolds have reptilian versions, canines, rodents what you described and others, There is no specific disregard in history, the author defines.

9613316
Ah, so should we define sapient hybrids as kobolds, and non sapient or feral sapients like gryphons chimera's?

9613323
I am speaking depends the author of the literary work
An example:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobold_(Dungeons_%26_Dragons)

ragnarok online has an example that kobold are canine
http://ratemyserver.net/index.php?page=re_mob_db&mob_id=1135

In folklore, if the change was made because of the similarity of the kobold has little difference between them goblin, gnomes and others.

I believe it was made so to differentiate.

So, anybody else excited for what else Totem is gonna put out?

9613413
They've also been depicted in folklore (and video games) as earth-elemental fairies...

But these are obviously D+D kobolds which are basically lizards related to dragons.

9613662
exactly how it will be used. best known is D + D and worldwarcraft

For me I see this.

and their abilities, she has gotten very curious
as to what else these strange dragons could do.

I don't think you meant to do that, and again here you accidentally moved the a part of the sentence below the first part.

the tall
dark horse.

Paragraphs I found the mistakes in.

"Gray, Azzy, keep her busy, Val, I need you're highest protection spells on every one, and Lunar, protect her we don't need any more collateral damage." The dark blue dragon said as the other dragons then did what they were told. Twilight saw the black dragon approach her, who's name seemed to be Lunar, and started to cast magic she has never known in her entire life. The more these dragons do things the more she questions them and their abilities, she has gotten very curious
as to what else these strange dragons could do.

Greilyn used his sword to block the magical beams of the dark tall horse used to attack him and his friend. Thanks to Vlaralra's Leaf Protection spell, they manage to to survive the normally heavy damage attacks from the tall
dark horse.

Overall good chapter, and I'll be watching this story. Have a good day or night depending on what timezone you're in.

Seems to be skimming over canon a little too much but otherwise good.

Overall the story is pretty darn good. Only real issue is the seemingly random flipping of tenses and first to third person. Some clunky wording here and there but amazing regardless.

Is this a crossover story or are the Kobolds original character of the author?

9841804
The kobolds are actually created by someone else. The art was made by SorcArts and the names of the kobolds are names given to them by other people. I'm just making some very interesting story with them being the characters.

I’m seeing a few grammatical errors. Not a lot, but they’re still there. I would like to help where I can. I’ll point out a few.

he does not know off

Of.

Azzy thought as he sat crosslegs

Crosslegged would be better here.

from the once we know of.

One, not once.

bad days that he experience's

The apostrophe isn’t needed here.

from the guild master led them on another world.

To or onto would work better here.
Those are all the ones I’ll point out here. Overall I like what you’re doing with the story, and I want to see how it progresses.

I love it! I hope this story doesn't die like a few of the other good stories I've seen on here.

1st. I love the story.
2nd. One small nitpick. Rouge is what women put on their cheeks. Rogue is a type of thief adventurer.

Cant wait to see where you take this.

Im already in love with this story!

Damn fine fight! Celestia has a good reason to think like it but she better dont be ungrateful ! Without them Twilight would be a Pony filet and the Nightmare would still control Luna...

Very strong start. :pinkiehappy: Good to know the Kobolds get a neutral chance to introduce themself. Already feard Celestia going to make things needless complicated.

With so few Kobods they cant recreate there race... :ajsleepy: I guess a subrace with Dragons would be a possible outcome. :rainbowkiss::yay:

Wonder how powerful they are... There magic is more unstable and they mastered it. Having more stable one now there going to be more powerful or more versatile ! :ajsmug:

Nice cover and character art! :raritystarry: Hope you keep in mind that so many character need a lot of development and you might need more than just what happends in 1 - 2 Seasons to get so alien creatures acclimated to there environment . Ponys are very xenophobe especially to meat consuming ones...

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