//------------------------------// // Griffon The Brush-Off // Story: The Jack of All Trades // by Lord Zalgo //------------------------------// The sound of a loud series of beeps with regular intervals filled Phoenix’s room. He sleepily slammed his hoof on his alarm clock, silencing it. He groggily sat up and saw the time on his clock. 7:00. Phoenix sighed as he began to freshen himself up. He allowed the warm stream of water pour onto him as he walked into his shower and let the sudden sensation remove the drowsiness from his eyes and his mind. As he walked back into his room, he used his magic to make a small ring of fire around him and remained still for a few seconds and then he let it dissipate. Now completely dry, Phoenix combed his coat, his mane and tail to their usual neat state. He opened his wardrobe and began to search through his clothes until he found a clean, grey suit jacket with a white shirt and black necktie. ‘I can’t believe I don’t wear this beauty more often.’ Phoenix thought with a smile. He quickly donned the suit, but as he finished tying his tie in front of his mirror, there was a knock at the door. He quickly checked his suit one more time and walked to the door and opening it. Rarity and Sweetie Belle were standing at his door. Sweetie Belle smiled widely and waved at him, while Rarity’s eyes widened slightly as her cheeks acquired a slight red hue. Phoenix chuckled and leaned a little closer to her. “Rarity, your cheeks have gone a rather handsome shade of red.” Phoenix whispered. Rarity’s cheeks became an even deeper shade as her senses returned. “S-sorry, darling! I-I’ve just never seen you in a suit before. It’s very becoming on you, Phoenix.” Rarity stammered. “Thank you, Rarity. Good to know that it meets your fashion standards. So, what are you doing here?” Phoenix asked. “Well, I was going to drop Sweetie Belle to school and I was wondering if you wanted to join me.” Rarity said. “Well, I was going to head to Sweet Apple Acres and take Apple Bloom to school. Care a little longer walk?” Phoenix replied. “Well… I suppose it’s alright with me. Sweetie, what do you think? Do you want to go to Sweet Apple Acres and walk with Apple Bloom?” Rarity asked. “Uh… Okay! Is she nice?” Sweetie asked. “Yeah. I think you’ll get along well, actually.” Phoenix said softly as he used his magic to place his saddlebags on his back and then locking his door. “Then, let’s go!” Sweetie said excitedly and ran ahead. “Sweetie, slow down!” Rarity’s statement fell upon deaf ears as Sweetie continued to run. Phoenix and Rarity simply walked and talked as they followed Sweetie to the farm. As they walked, they saw Rainbow Dash flying over them and waved to her. Amazingly, she noticed them and swooped down and landed in front of them. “Hey guys. Diggin’ the suit, Nix.” Rainbow greeted. “…'Nix?’” Phoenix asked. “Yeah. Y’know? A nickname.” Rainbow replied. “I already have a nickname from Pinkie that I’ll never get rid of. I don’t need another one, thank you.” Phoenix replied. “Alright, alright. I wasn’t really sure of it, myself. So where are you two going?” Rainbow asked. “Oh, we’re taking Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom to school.” Rarity answered. “So, you’re taking the kids to school? You’re like an old married couple!” Rainbow began to cackle. Rarity’s cheeks went slightly pink as she and Phoenix gave her unamused looks. “Are you done?” Phoenix asked. Rainbow let out a few small chuckles before nodding. “What are doing up this early, Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked curiously. “Oh, I’m meeting an old friend of mine. She should be arriving soon. Her name’s Gilda.” Rainbow replied excitedly. “Where did you meet her?” Phoenix asked, now curious. “We met back in flight school. She was one of the only griffins there.” Rainbow said. “Griffin?” Phoenix asked. “Yeah, so if you see a griffin around here today, it’ll probably be Gilda. Sorry, guys. Gotta go!” Rainbow said quickly as she flew at incredible speeds towards the train station. Phoenix and Rarity shrugged and continued to walk to the Acres. When they reached the farmhouse, they saw Applejack already hard at work. “Applejack, darling, I will never know how you can have so much energy this early in the morning.” Rarity said with admiration. “Aw, shucks Rarity, Ah’ve just gotten used to it Ah guess.” Applejack replied shyly. Apple Bloom emerged from the house with her schoolbags on her back. “Ah thought Ah heard voices out here.” Apple Bloom said as she walked to her sister. “Hey, AB. I’ve recruited a few more ponies to walk with us today.” Phoenix said. Both of the Apple sisters’ eyes were then drawn to Phoenix and what he was wearing. Apple Bloom was a little confused why he was wearing it, but Applejack’s eyes widened as her cheeks changed to a slight red shade. Bloom noticed and then had an urge to do something all siblings do at least once in their lives. Tease each other. “Applejack, you’re face’s almost the same colour as Big Mac’s!” Apple Bloom said loudly and laughed. Sweetie giggled, Phoenix chuckled quietly, while Rarity tried to hold in her laughter and hide her smile with her hoof. Applejack sent an annoyed glance at her sister as her face grew redder. “Don’t worry AJ; Rarity had the same response to the suit.” Phoenix said and smirked as Rarity stopped smiling, blushed and scowled at Phoenix. After everypony calmed down, they all waved Applejack goodbye as they headed to the schoolhouse. As they arrived, the girls immediately ran to the schoolyard and began to play. Sweetie even pointed to a pegasus filly in the distance and motioned Apple Bloom to follow her to meet her. Rarity began to walk away back to town as she waved Phoenix goodbye. Phoenix walked straight into the classroom and was met with the sight of Cheerilee writing on the chalkboard. He smirked as he slowly tip-hoofed closer to her until he silently inhaled, leaned closer to her ear and blew into it. Cheerilee jumped nearly a foot in the air as she squealed. She breathed heavily for a moment before looking back at Phoenix. “Was that necessary, Phoenix?” Cheerilee asked with a gasp. “Short answer: yes. Long answer: hell yes.” Phoenix chuckled as Cheerilee scrunched her face in an annoyed look, but Phoenix found it adorable, making him laugh more. As he laughed, Cheerilee’s face scrunched all the more to prevent a smile emerging on her face, however her defences were slowly, but surely cracking. Until... She burst out laughing. They laughed and laughed and were showing no signs of stopping, until the school bell rang through the school and the surrounding area. As they calmed down, Phoenix noticed another large desk, not unlike Cheerilee’s at the back of the classroom with the label: “Student Councillor” on top of it. “If you take a seat, I’ll introduce you to the children all at once.” Cheerilee said with a smile. Phoenix nodded as he removed his bags and placed them under the desk. He then removed something from his jacket pocket and placed it on his face. Cheerilee looked at Phoenix with confusion. Specifically, the glasses on his face. Phoenix gave her a deadpan look. “I need them to read.” Phoenix said monotonously as he took his seat. As the fillies and colt began to walk in and take their seats, Phoenix kept his head down and pretended to be taking notes like an inspector would. He was a sucker for theatricality. “Children, I’d like to introduce you to our new student councillor. If you have any kind of problem with your work, you come to me, but if you have a more personal problem, then you can always turn to him. So, say hello to: Mr Fortesque.” Cheerilee announced as she looked out upon the class and pointed towards Phoenix. He looked up to let the children see his face and smile kindly to them. The children all had understanding looks on their faces, however Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had completely dumbfounded expressions. The lesson then started and the students immediately paid attention as Phoenix remained at the back of the classroom and simply observed. The lesson progressed as well as one could expect as the children were taught history and mathematics with near to no trouble. The only trouble was a pegasus filly named Scootaloo falling asleep in the middle of the lesson. Fortunately for her, Phoenix woke her up before Cheerilee noticed. As the break time bell tolled, the kids poured out of the classroom to attempt to be the first to the playground. There was one child, however that stayed. The child was a light beige furred filly with a red, curly mane and tail with no cutie mark and adorable, oversized glasses. “Thorry mithter Fortethque, but you thaid that I could talk to you about problemth?” The filly said with a lisp. Phoenix recognised the filly as Twist. “Of course, Twist. Take a seat and tell me what’s wrong.” Phoenix motioned to a seat by his desk that Twist then climbed onto. “Well... I’m worried about my cutie mark.” Twist seemed ashamed of what she said. “Well, Twist. Anxiety about cutie marks is very common for somepony your age.” Phoenix said soothingly. “I’m worried about what it’ll be and if I’ll let my family down if it’th not what they do.” Twist said gloomily. “Twist, getting your cutie mark is meant to be one of the happiest moments of your life. Your family have gone through the same thing you are going through. They will accept you for who you are and who you want to be.” Phoenix said with a small smile. “But, what if my mark ithn’t what I want to do?” Twist said, still a little anxious. “Getting your cutie mark doesn’t prevent you from doing whatever you want to. Do you know what my cutie mark means?” Phoenix stood and showed her his cutie mark. Twist was clearly thinking, but couldn’t think of anything. “It means I’m very lucky, especially when I play card games. Yet, I’m doing the job of student councillor. The only one who should choose what you do... is you.” Phoenix finished. Twist was put into deep thought as the bell sounded again. Twist went back to her seat, but Phoenix could see that what he said had made her think. The lessons after the break were Equestrian literature and chemistry. Some time passed before Cheerilee and Phoenix walked outside with the children as their parents and carers began to arrive to pick them up. Suddenly, Phoenix was hugged by a small filly. Twist let go after a while and looked up at him. “Thank you, mithter Fortethque. I feel tho much better now.” Twist said with a large smile. Phoenix smiled back and tousled her mane. “It’s okay, Twist. Remember, you can always come to me if you have any other problems. Okay?” Phoenix said. Twist nodded and ran to her mother. Phoenix looked back to see: Rarity, Applejack and Cheerilee looking at him proudly. “Looks like I’m not going to regret making you the councillor.” Cheerilee beamed. Phoenix chuckled as his cheeks went very faintly pink from embarrassment. The girls giggled as Cheerilee walked back into the schoolhouse. “Do you have to stay, Phoenix?” Rarity asked. “No, I don’t have the same paperwork that Cheerilee does, so I can leave when the kids do.” Phoenix replied. “That works out just fine, ‘cause Pinkie’s invited us to a party to honour an old friend of Rainbow Dash.” Applejack said. “Gilda, right?” Phoenix asked. “Yup. Big Mac’s already takin’ Apple Bloom home so we could all walk together.” Applejack said. “What about Sweetie Belle?” Phoenix asked. “Our mother and father already picked her up.” Rarity explained. “Well, then, ladies. Shall we?” Phoenix said as he bowed slightly as he smirked. Applejack and Rarity just chuckled as they walked. When they reached Sugarcube Corner, the whole place was decorated and numerous ponies were already there. “You two go on in. I’ll just be a minute.” Phoenix said. “What’s up, sugarcube?” Applejack asked. “Well, I’m not going to smoke inside. I’ll just be a minute.” Phoenix explained as he walked around the corner to light his cigarette and smoke it. When he finished it, he used some water magic to put it out, and then binned the remainder. He walked in to see Gilda talking to Pinkie Pie somewhat intently, but his attention was brought to Fluttershy who looked very uncomfortable as her gaze went between Gilda and the floor. Phoenix walked towards her before softly asking her a question. “Fluttershy, are you alright?” Despite how softly he said it, the question still made Fluttershy jump. “Oh, I’m sorry, Ph-Phoenix.” Fluttershy retreated behind her mane. “It’s okay, Fluttershy. I’m sorry for startling you. But, back to my question: are you alright?” Phoenix asked softly again. “U-um... Yes?” Fluttershy answered nervously. “Please, Fluttershy, if you tell me what’s wrong, I’ll be able to help you.” Phoenix persisted. “Y-you really don’t have to...” She tried to reason, but Phoenix persisted further, keeping his tone soft. “I insist. I want to help you.” Phoenix said with sincere finality. Fluttershy shifted under his gaze before she started shaking and snuggled into Phoenix’s chest. “I-it was G-Gilda. I was g-guiding a family o-of duckies to a new p-pond, b-but I bumped into G-Gilda and she j-just yelled and r-roared at me! It was so s-scary!” Fluttershy wailed quietly as Phoenix held her in his hooves as she cried. Phoenix even rocked her slightly until, their attentions were taken by a large crashing sound. They both walked over to where the commotion was, and saw Gilda covered in icing with a fake purple tail on her beak. “Uh, Gilda? You put the tail on the wrong end.” Pinkie’s statement cause many other ponies to laugh. It however caused Gilda to roar like a wild beast. “This is your idea of a good time?! I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life! And Pinkie Pie, you! You are queen lame-o with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool?!” Gilda began to rant but stopped when Phoenix was immediately between them. “I suggest you back up, Gilda.” Phoenix said coldly. Gilda was taken aback for a second before roaring in Phoenix’s face, just like she did Fluttershy, who had hidden when she heard the roar. Phoenix simply closed his eyes and waited for her to stop. When she did, he wiped some saliva from his cheek and then sniffed the air. “Vanilla and pepper. Odd combination, I must say.” Phoenix said, completely unfazed. Gilda was once again taken aback at his lack of reaction. She looked a little nervous as his cold, blue eyes were boring into her yellow ones. She finally pulled back her talon and swiped Phoenix across the left side of his face, causing everypony to either gasp or scream. Apart from Phoenix. Despite the small wound on his cheek and the blood beginning to seep out, Phoenix glared at Gilda as he began to remove his suit with his magic. As he folded it up, he placed it on a nearby table, but he didn’t lose eye contact with Gilda for a second. Everypony couldn't believe the lack of reaction from the stallion, but Gilda was borderline terrified. Her fear heightened as Phoenix slowly began to walk towards her. “Hey. Hey! S-stay away from me! Dash! You’re not gonna let him hurt me are you?!” Gilda said, her voice laced with terror. Phoenix turned to Rainbow. “After what she’s done to Fluttershy, she needs to learn her lesson.” Phoenix said to Rainbow. “Okay, but hurting her won’t solve anything!” Rainbow argued. “Who said anything about hurting her? I’m going to make her apologise for what she did to Fluttershy.” Phoenix said. “What did I do to ‘Fluttershy’?!” Gilda roared angrily. Blood continued to slowly pour down Phoenix’s face as he looked back at Gilda as a terrified squeak came from behind him. “You started on her for no reason when you bumped into her, and terrified her, again for no reason.” Phoenix explained. Gilda seemed to be hit by an invisible blow as she gulped and began to sweat. “Gah! Y-you’ve got no proof I did that!” Gilda argued nervously as she attempted to back up towards the exit. Phoenix seemed to be getting angrier. “HOLD IT!” Phoenix yelled louder than anypony had ever heard him before. It seemed to echo throughout the bakery as everypony and the griffin stopped moving. “If anypony saw what she did, raise your hoof!” Phoenix shouted for everypony to hear. Slowly Fluttershy raised her hoof, followed by Pinkie quickly raising hers. A few other ponies raised their hooves while Gilda continued to sweat. “I think you’ve been caught red-taloned, Gilda. Somewhat literally.” Phoenix motioned to her talon which still had a stain of Phoenix’s blood on it. “Guh! No!” Gilda raised her talons to her head in shock. “There’s no way out of it, Gilda. You’ve been bullying and hurting ponies for no reason. Look into Rainbow Dash’s eyes and confess!” Phoenix announced, pointing his hoof a Gilda causing to scream and fall to the ground. A moment later she got back up and looked at Rainbow in annoyance and anger. “Are you gonna let ‘em speak to me like that?!” Gilda exclaimed loudly. Rainbow closed her eyes and lowered her head for a moment. She then raised it and glared at Gilda. “If you’re gonna treat my new friends like crap, don’t be surprised when they do the same thing to you!” Rainbow yelled. Gilda’s eyes widened until she glared and lifted her talon again. It stopped dead in mid-swing when Phoenix jumped in front of Rainbow. After what happened the first time, Gilda knew that going through with the strike against Phoenix wouldn’t do her any good. She instead resorted to the only thing that immediately came to her mind. She ran. She fled from Sugarcube Corner without a word. As soon as she left, Phoenix groaned in pain and fell to his knees as he applied pressure to the wound on his face. Everypony was by him immediately in worry and panic. Phoenix simply laughed. “She’s got a mean swing, hasn’t she?” Phoenix said. “It’s going to be ok, Phoenix! I know a healing spell that’ll fix you right up!” Twilight exclaimed in a panic. “Alright, I trust you, Twilight. You certainly have the looks and brains to be a nurse.” Phoenix said, causing many ponies to chuckle, but Twilight to blush as she lowered her horn to his cheek and started the spell which caused his skin to reconnect and his fur to grow back. Applejack helped him up as he took his suit from the table and placed it in his bag that he brought to school. Afterwards, Fluttershy and Pinkie insisted that Phoenix go home and rest, to which Twilight assured was the best course of action. Phoenix agreed due the aching in his face he was feeling that didn’t stop as he walked home. Twilight assured him that the aching would subside and to just wait it out instead of using some form of drug or painkiller as it could affect the healing process. Sleep didn’t come easily to Phoenix, in his unconsciousness was put in the presence of a blurred, navy blue figure. Before he could identify the figure, sleep took him.