//------------------------------// // Boast Busters // Story: The Jack of All Trades // by Lord Zalgo //------------------------------// “You really didn’t have to come with me, Phoenix.” Fluttershy said caringly. Phoenix simply looked to her and smiled, causing her to blush slightly. “It’s alright, Fluttershy. I had nothing to do today and I think spending the day with you is an excellent way to spend it.” Phoenix said with his smile still intact. Fluttershy’s blush quickly grew to incorporate her whole face, making her cover her face with her mane, not unlike how a turtle retreats into its shell. Fluttershy was shopping for her groceries when she bumped into Phoenix who asked if he could spend the day with her. She told him that she was just shopping and didn’t want to bore him. She blushed when Phoenix replied that it her company he wanted. “Are you feeling better after what happened yesterday, Fluttershy?” Phoenix asked with a caring expression. Fluttershy’s face emerged and looked at him. “Yes, I am. Thank you. I was just... really startled.” Fluttershy explained. Phoenix nodded. “I’m glad you’re okay.” Phoenix replied with a smile. Fluttershy smiled before showing a worried expression. “Are you okay? Your face...” Fluttershy trailed off. She jumped when she felt Phoenix’s foreleg wrap around her neck, giving her a side hug. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about lil’ ol’ me.” Phoenix said in a soothing voice. Fluttershy shifted her body and wrapped her hooves around Phoenix, causing him to reciprocate the action. “You’ve realised I’m more huggable than I look, haven’t you?” Phoenix said amusedly. Fluttershy blushed slightly and nodded without letting go. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” A voice emerged from behind them. Fluttershy and Phoenix looked to see the smirking face of Rarity. Fluttershy immediately removed herself from the embrace and stammered while trying to explain the situation, to both Rarity’s and Phoenix’s amusement. “So what are you two doing here?” Rarity said as Fluttershy calmed down. “I was doing my grocery shopping and met Phoenix who offered to accompany me.” Fluttershy said. “Ah, what a gentlecolt.” Rarity said teasingly to Phoenix who blew a raspberry in her general direction. “So, what do you plan on doing now, darling?” Rarity continued, tittering slightly. “Well, I was going to head home, but I fed the animals this morning and my bags aren’t heavy, so I could do anything you guys want to do.” Fluttershy offered, but a loud series of bangs drew the trio’s attention. They walked to the town square to see a wooden stage unfold as fireworks shot into the air. A blue coated unicorn with a white mane and a wizard’s outfit appeared on the stage. “Come on, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” The unicorn announced. “Sorry, I don’t think I caught her name.” Phoenix whispered sarcastically to Rarity. The crowd seemed to be intrigued. “Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!” Trixie yelled. “My, my, my. What boasting!” Rarity scolded. “Come on, nopony’s as magical as Twi- Twi- Twi- Oh! Ahem. Hey, Rarity, I, uh... Moustache!” Spike stuttered and stammered and zoomed out of sight. “There’s nothing wrong with being talented, is there?” Twilight asked. Applejack replied to her, but Phoenix focused on Twilight and knew something was bothering her. ‘Judging from what she asked, she’s paranoid about something. Something to do with talent, perhaps.’ Phoenix theorised. He began to walk through the crowd towards Twilight. “Hey, Twilight. Is something bothering you?” Phoenix asked her. Twilight looked at Phoenix in shock. “Nope! No. Nothing’s wrong, Phoenix. What makes you ask that?” Twilight asked nervously. Phoenix gave her a look that let her know that he didn’t believe a word of what she was saying. Under his gaze, Twilight was becoming more and more convinced that he didn’t believe her. Before Phoenix could get her to crack, there was a large commotion behind him. Phoenix and Twilight watched as Trixie humiliated Rainbow, Applejack and Rarity respectively when they tried to make her stop bragging. After that, nopony wanted to challenge Trixie, while Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy and Spike were either reverting Rarity’s mane to its former glory or untying the knots that constricted Applejack. Trixie then turned to Phoenix. “What about you, lowly stallion? Is there anything you can do that Trixie can’t?” Trixie mocked with a smirk. Phoenix simply smiled. “Biologically, I can think of a few things.” Phoenix stated calmly. Most of the audience began to laugh. Trixie simply looked offended. “Do not joke in Trixie’s presence! You’re just hiding the fact that you are worthless!” Trixie yelled. ...Being called worthless seemed to touch one of Phoenix’s nerves. It was a word he was all too familiar with. From him... ‘Time to show the bitch up.’ Phoenix thought angrily. “Pinkie, you wouldn’t happen to have a piano on you, would you?” Phoenix asked Pinkie. Pinkie opened a trap door in the ground and pulled out a functioning grand piano. “I have pianos stashed all over Ponyville. In case of piano emergency.” Pinkie stated randomly. Trixie was dumbfounded by the sudden appearance of the piano, but was also confused as to why Phoenix wanted it. “I can play the piano. Can you?” Phoenix stated calmly, to which Trixie looked a little nervous. “W-why would Trixie do that?” Trixie asked nervously. “Well, I guess I’m better at something than the Decent and Kind-of Okay Trixie. That was easier than I thought it would be.” Phoenix said intentionally to aggravate her. “Hold on! Let me try!” Trixie yelled as she used her magic to surround the keys and in an attempt to make music, she just made noise. Trixie seemed to sink as the crowd seemed to be less convinced of how ‘perfect’ she was. “W-wait! How do we know you can actually play the piano? You must be worse than Trixie is! There is no doubt.” Trixie stated arrogantly. “Yeah! You’ll never be better than Trixie, Mr Fortesque!” Snips said rudely. “Yeah! Wait, why don’t we like him anymore?” Snails asked, genuinely confused. “Oh, jus-! Forget about it!” Snips said angrily, causing Snails to remain silent. Phoenix stood in front of the piano and surrounded the keys in his own magic. Before anything else, he broke the silence by turning to Trixie. “Tell me, Trixie. How does your own medicine taste?” Phoenix didn’t wait for a reply before he closed his eyes and began to play. His magic pushed down the keys as the song started slowly in a melody. Eventually the tempo increased, but kept the original melody. In the end, the melody sounded large and bombastic, but still with the whimsical element. Using both his forehooves and his magic to play the finale as he held the final notes. He then turned to Trixie who looked at him in shock. “Still think you’re better than us?” Phoenix asked coldly. Trixie simply turned her nose up and walked back into the stage without a word. The crowd cheered, including the girls and Spike. “Phoenix! You’re the greatest piano player ever!” Spike yelled excitedly to most of the crowd’s agreement. Phoenix merely chuckled and shook his head. “I think I’m decent at it, but I know many pianists that are more skilled than I.” Phoenix replied modestly. Rainbow started chuckling as the crowd started to disband and dissipate. “You’re laughing at the word ‘pianist’, aren’t you Rainbow?” Rarity deadpanned. Her mane back to normal, however it lost its style and curls, leaving it straight. When Rarity said the word again, Rainbow let out a loud chuckle before covering her mouth with her hoof to prevent more laughs from escaping. Everypony rolled their eyes before returning to go about their business. Rarity offered to walk Fluttershy back to her cabin, Rainbow Dash went back to weather managing, Pinkie Pie bounced back to Sugarcube Corner and Applejack went back to her apple stall. Twilight and Spike began to walk back to the library, but Phoenix asked if he could tag along; to which Twilight didn’t object. When they reached the library, Twilight offered Phoenix some tea, to which he politely declined. He did however break the silence before Twilight could change the subject again. “Care to actually tell me what’s bothering you now?” Phoenix asked, but it seemed more like an implied instruction. “Well…” Twilight began to sweat as the subject came up again. But, before she could come up with an excuse, Spike interjected. “She’s worried that if she showed her talent to stand up to Trixie, everypony would go against her, like they did Trixie.” Spike explained unfazed as Twilight glared at him. “That true?” Phoenix asked softly. Twilight sulked and lowered her head before she nodded. “Twilight, sweetheart. You’ve just taken this the wrong way, that’s all.” Phoenix said in his soft tone. “What do you mean?” Twilight questioned. “We didn’t dislike Trixie because she was talented. We disliked her because she thought she was better than everypony else, because of those talents. Do you dislike me for the talent I stood her up with?” Phoenix asked, causing Twilight to look at him in anxious shock. “No! No, of course… not…” Twilight trailed off as she seemed to realise what he meant. “I think you’re starting to get it. I didn’t brag that I was the best pianist in Equestria and rub it in everypony’s faces, because I know I’m not the best and I know that everypony will be good at something. A lot of ponies will good at something that I could be atrocious at. Then, there are ponies like Trixie, who just think they can do anything or that what they do or what they are mean they’re more entitled than anypony else.” Phoenix explained. “Right, like some of the Canterlot nobles.” Twilight said as an example. “Precisely. Then, there are ponies like you.” “W-what do you mean, ‘ponies like me’?” Twilight asked nervously. “Ponies that have immense talent and work for what they have. You don’t brag that you’re better than anypony else, do you?” Phoenix asked, to which Twilight shook her head. “Then you’re not like Trixie and we’re not going to hate you for having talent that you’ve worked hard for.” Phoenix finished. Twilight’s paranoia seemed to remain slightly as she seemed to still be afraid that he might be wrong. “Just think about it, Twilight. If you still doubt what I say, just talk to our friends.” Phoenix said as he began to walk out of the library. As he started to walk back towards the town square, Twilight stood in her doorway and called Phoenix’s name, causing him to turn. “…Thank you.” Twilight said after a moment of silence. “What for?” Phoenix asked. “…For just being you.” Twilight replied with a light giggle and small smile before returning into the library. Phoenix stood motionless for a moment before smiling and walking back towards the town square. He made it his mission to avoid Trixie and her stage as he continued on his way home. Fortunately, he picked a route that avoided where she was and he made it back to his house. When he reached his home, the sun was beginning to set along the horizon. As Phoenix settled into his bed with a book, a large roar shook his room and seemingly the whole town. Phoenix sat still for a moment with wide eyes before rushing to his window and saw a giant bear-like creature that looked like it was made of stars, energy and constellations. Phoenix rushed through his house and out of his door as the creature was stomping through towards the town. The creature was walking fairly slowly, but its size allowed it to cover ground very quickly. Phoenix ran after it, but his much smaller size allowed him to keep it in his sight, but could not keep up or overtake it. Eventually, he met up with the girls in the town as Trixie tried to subdue the creature. And failed miserably. Phoenix noticed Twilight trotting towards Snips and Snails, causing Phoenix to wonder why they were there in the first place. “What’s going on here?” Twilight asked the colts. “We brought an Ursa to town.” Snips said proudly. “You WHAT?!” Twilight and Phoenix shouted. “Don’t worry, the Great and Powerful Trixie can vanquish it.” Snails said with certainty. “Then you’ll know whose better, Mr Fortesque.” Snips said with a hint of scorn. “I can’t.” Trixie said pathetically. “What?!” Snips and Snails screamed. “Yes, it’s very clear cut.” Phoenix said sarcastically. “I can’t, I never have. No one can vanquish an Ursa Major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better.” Trixie admitted in a defeated tone. “Made it up?!” Snips and Snails screamed again. The Ursa roared, causing most of the townsfolk to scream and cower. Phoenix looked on in horror as the beast growled and roared. He began to back up until he was standing next to the girls; however it was only then that he noticed that Twilight and Spike were still way too close to it. He was about to call for them before a somewhat strong wind began to blow and break several nearby stalks of bulrush, causing the sound of the wind to be changed to a harmonious melody. When the sound reached the Ursa, it gained a goofy smile and it began to sway. Moments later, the container from the water tower floated over to it with drops of milk leaking from it here and there. As it looked like it was going to fall on Trixie, Phoenix ran forward and pushed her away in order to save her. They both looked up to see the Ursa being safely held in a bright lavender magical aura. It then began to float away towards the Everfree Forest, soundly asleep. Phoenix walked back to Twilight to see her looking towards her friends with a grimace. “I’m sorry. Please, please don’t hate me.” Twilight said with fear. “Hate you?” Phoenix, Applejack, Rainbow and Rarity asked with a hint of disbelief. “Why, whatever do you mean, darling?” Rarity asked happily. “Well, I know how much you all hated Trixie’s showing off with her magic tricks and I just thought…” Twilight trailed off. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Magic’s got nothing to do with it. Trixie’s just a loudmouth.” Rainbow assured. “Most unpleasant.” Rarity added. “All hat and no cattle.” Applejack added. “Told you so.” Phoenix said with a calming smile. “So, you don’t mind my magic tricks?” Twilight asked. “Your magic is a part of who you are, sugarcube, and we like who you are. We’re proud to have such a powerful, talented unicorn as our friend.” Applejack said with an honest smile. “And after whuppin’ that Ursa’s hind quarters, we’re even prouder!” Rainbow added excitedly. “You are?” Twilight said hopefully. Everypony nodded and muttered their agreement. “Wow, Twilight, how did you know what to do with that Ursa Major?” Spike asked excitedly. “That’s what I was doing when you came looking for me. I was so intrigued by Trixie’s bragging that I was compelled to do a little reading up on them.” Twilight explained. “So, it is possible to vanquish an Ursa Major all by yourself?” Spike asked. “That wasn’t an Ursa Major. It was a baby, an Ursa Minor.” Twilight clarified. “That was just a baby?!” Trixie asked incredulously. “And it wasn’t rampaging. It was just cranky because someone woke it up.” Twilight hinted to Snips and Snails. “Well, if that was an Ursa Minor, what’s an Ursa Major like?” Spike asked. Twilight remained silent for a moment. “You don’t wanna know.” Twilight said with a smile. “Huh. You may have vanquished an Ursa Minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie announced as she created a small smoke-screen and began to run out of town. Only to bump into Phoenix. As she fell onto her back, Phoenix glared at her. Trixie scrambled to her hooves and continued to run. Phoenix watched her go before turning back to see Twilight talking to Snips and Snails. A moment later, Spike ran to their side and moustaches emerged on each of their faces. As they revelled at the newly formed facial hair, Phoenix stood behind Snips and Snails. They slowly turned around with a look of dread on their faces. “We’re gonna have a nice, long chat on Monday, boys.” Phoenix said calmly.